Chapter Text
He is water. Tomioka Giyuu is water. He is calm before the storm, quiet curling waves on the shore. People knew the water to be harsh and cold, once caught in the waves of a tsunami you are demolished before you even think of escaping its grasp. Their perception was that the water is not to mess and bother with. The water himself is hated by those around him, but like how the river flows, Giyuu also flows, with or without anyone who cares about him. He could care less as well. He may deny it all he wants, but he knows, always knows, that he is disliked by others and nothing will ever change that. On one hand, he is fine with that, one less problem he has to deal with as socializing was the least of his concern as the water hashira.
He dwells and thrives in solitude, but everyday he feels as if he was the one being dragged by the unending current, vicious and unforgiving. People see water as strong, superior and purposeful, but Giyuu feels nothing but pathetic, weak with no purpose. Sometimes it is as if he is the oil tarnishing the water. He knew two people who are more deserving of the title he upholds, and he would do anything to go back in time and switch fates with them.
-
The sound of slashing metal was sharp in the air despite the rain falling around him. This was how he befriended solitude, training, honing and using the most of his time. His ultramarine nichirin blade danced in the rain and he too moved gracefully in the rain. It was something he saw when he was a little vulnerable boy living with Urokodaki-sensei. Now he found comfort in the idea.
The smell of rain brought great comfort to him, unfortunately with Japan’s weather, he could only bask in it occasionally. Giyuu faced the sky as he finished the last of his movements. Breathing, just breathing and letting the droplets drip down his face, hair and clothes. These were one of the better days, where he could appreciate the moment, far, far away from the gripping guilt and shadow that would never leave him alone. For now, he smelled petrichor and Giyuu felt one with the water, away from the bothersome people.
Giyuu hated pilar meetings, but it was inevitable as it was his obligation to attend. He didn’t like meeting his colleagues. The way they would be frank at him and bluntly tell him no one in the room liked him made him want to disappear and evaporate all at once. He knew he didn’t deserve the title hashira, and they didn’t have to emphasize it further to make the message any clearer. The last hashira meeting wasn’t as bad, but it was still suffocating at times.
Iguro and Shinazugawa clearly hated him. Uzui and Shinobu had a way with words that would make you think they were being kind for half of their sentence, only to be vile with their next words. Mitsuri, there was no way someone would like him, even the love hashira herself. Itmust be a facade. Kyoujuro and Himejima-san acted like they could tolerate him, but he knew there was something behind those kind and non-judgemental eyes. And lastly, Tokitou Muichirou. Like the mist itself he was mysterious. The fourteen year old hashira could barely be mentally present and always passive, yet he always made his presence clear and seen. No one knew how to talk to him and so did Giyuu.
Within a year of knowing him, they had barely exchanged words and Giyuu could count with five fingers the amount of times they had a short conversation. But it wasn’t only because of Tokitou’s reserved and lost personality, Giyuu was no different to any other hashira.
They don’t talk to each other, so imagine his surprise when he was interrupted in the middle of his training in the rain, by a drenched Tokitou standing in front of the water estate.
“...Tokitou-kun?” He hesitated.
“....”
“Do you want to come in?” Giyuu offered, stepping aside from the door. Tokitou, with his dazed and dull eyes, looked at Giyuu before silently entering his estate.
The water hashira silently led the teen to what was supposed to be a homey and comfy room for his guests, yet it was barren and barely served its purpose He ushered him through the shoji doors and told him to sit anywhere he wanted before heading to his kitchen to prepare for tea and grab a couple of towels for the both of them. Giyuu should probably change into something more comfortable, but that could wait.
When he came back, he found Tokitou staring outside to the engawa. He had no idea how to address him, he was awkward with his words unless with a forced confrontation. But he had to be the one to initiate here. He put the tray with his teapot on the table before speaking.
“Here,” He broke the silence and approached him and handed him the towel which the teen accepted and wrapped it around his small body.
“...You are drenched, why?” Tokitou questioned out of the blue.
It then occurred to him that he had ushered him without his top clothing, dripping wet and hair drained with water.
“I was training.” Giyuu replied as he poured the steaming tea from the teapot into the cups before wrapping himself with the towel.
“Hmm, in the rain?”
“Yes.”
“... who are you again?”
Giyuu was rendered confused and slightly concerned for the boy. He willingly went into a stranger’s home, although Giyuu was his colleague, it did give him a slight worry. Tokitou was strong, but humans sharpened humans and so did humans break each other apart. He didn’t understand why he suddenly worried about him, the mist hashira was more than capable in defending himself, he was stronger than Giyuu ever was when he was 12.
“Tomioka Giyuu.” He offered, but he was met with unrecognition and those dull eyes stared at him fazed.
Did he look like that too when Shinobu said his eyes were dull? No, she said his eyes were cold, but Tokitou’s were serene despite the emptiness. No one talks ill of the boy, despite his odd behavior. They more than understood that something traumatizing must have happened.
“Ohh… ok..”
“Why did you come here when you don’t know who I am?” Giyuu curiously questioned.
“I don’t remember… Something told me to come here.”
-
Hashira? Oh, right, I am a hashira.
Tokitou Muichirou doesn’t remember. Never remember. Like the mist, his mind once present and gone the next. People say mists are dangerous and mysterious. Within its presence, people get lost often and fears are induced into them. Muichirou is mist, but he even gets lost inside mist itself, wandering around like every single day was mist after the rain, gone with time. Maybe if he remembers he wouldn’t be as lost, yet each memory he tries to store would only be forgotten by the next few days. No one seemed to be having the same problem, they remember perfectly fine, they even remember his name and some of his feats, yet he could never remember on his own.
Having short term memory allows him to not dwell in trivial facts that clouds his mind. He doesn’t need to store useless memories that would otherwise make him forget something far more important. But the mist that clouds his mind is also a hindrance, he feels lost most of the time and there is a deep feeling of anger somewhere within him that drives him to where he is today. Where did it come from? Why am I angry? Why can’t I remember? Those questions repeat.
-
The sun on his face was warm and bright. The clouds were very beautiful, so he liked to sit on the grass and gaze at the sky. The cotton white clouds have always brought comfort to him because they were always there when he tilted his head up. There were times where they were wispy and soft, those were his favorite ones to look at. Other times they looked like cotton balls, fluffy and round, it made him want to sleep on the clouds.
In every day of his life the clouds were there hovering over the world, a never ending presence. Muichirou wondered if the clouds remembered everything beneath it. He would like to ask them if they remember anything that he couldn’t, maybe they can help him recall the missing parts of his life that he so hardly tried to spark back.
There was one thing that Muichirou knew, despite not remembering and knowing the root of it, he hated the storm. The rain that bashes down hard on the roof. It made him feel… things. Everytime the clouds were overcast above, he felt a slight sense of impending doom that seemingly stemmed from thin air.
Why? Where did this feeling come from?
Muichirou isn't afraid of the rain or storm, he had done several missions with slippery terrains in the presence of downpours. If he moved and focused on destroying the demons in front of him, he felt anything but this captivating clump of uneasiness. Once he was left to his own devices however, no adrenaline and the fierceness of battle, it clouded his mind, heavy and mystifying. He tried and tried remembering what had induced this restlessness, but his wondering only led him to wander in the rain itself.
"Water has memories, Muichirou."
Who said that?
Who's water?
Whatever forces led him to a particular mansion, before he knew it, he was standing in front of an estate. It was one of the hashiras' estates from the looks of it. The garden surrounding it looked well kept, there were a couple of flower beds lining the short walkway towards the estate's front entrance filled with different types of flowers. The mist hashira made his way to the doors and knocked, because something told him to do so and he felt like it was the next thing to do.
He was greeted by the sight of a man, drenched in the rain like he was. His black hair tied into a loose ponytail, wet and had lost its volume as the fringes stuck to his face. He wore nothing on top but the hakama pants of his uniform and white kyahan wrapping the loose end of his pants around his ankle.
Muichirou first noted how he looked familiar. He didn’t have any memories meeting the man in question, but his features look like someone he had seen a few days ago. Nonetheless something about him made him feel like it’s alright to be here, although his presence wasn’t announced prior to his sudden appearance, those deep sapphire eyes knew him already.
His estate looked… empty. Contrary to the flower beds outside, his place was dry and lacking in personal touches. Muichirou could only guess why his estate was so minimal and lacking any extravagance to it. He was led to a room connected to the opened engawa beside it and he sat down by the table. The man told him to sit so he sat on the tatami mat, looking out at the open space as the pitter-patter of the rain hit the ground. Tokitou sat as the man disappeared further into his place.
Moments later, he heard the shoji doors being opened once again and the odd haired man returned to the room with a tray on his hand, gently placing the ceramic teapot and cups on the table.
“Here,” The man extended his arm to him as he stood, giving him a rather large towel. Muichirou wrapped the white towel around himself, it was loose and pooling to the floor around him.
“...You are drenched, why?” He curiously asked, he wanted to know.
“I was training,” The man replied as he poured tea into the two cups he brought with.
Muichirou wondered why he was training under the rain like this. He had a mansion, enough rooms to train in the dry shelter of his home, yet he chose to be with the rain instead. He didn’t voice out his question and instead accepted it as it was.
It was a little odd for him to be here. Muichirou didn’t know why he was here in the first place, what made him come here was more the mystery. His mind was a little hazy, but he remembered there was a soft undertone within him to seek answers. Coming here had not resolved any of his uneasiness as the rain still poured and his heart still beat a tad bit quicker. He needed to know, needed to clear the fog in his mind, so he questioned.
“Who are you again?”
The man deadpanned, looking at him as he picked up his cup to sip the still slightly steaming tea. Muichirou couldn’t really put it to words, but his face had a subtle softness to it as he looked at him. He placed the cup back down again at the question, silent for a fraction of time before answering.
“Tomioka Giyuu.” The man replied.
“Ohh… ok…”
Tomioka Giyuu. Hashira? Breathing style…? Did he-
“Why did you come here when you don’t know who I am?” Tomioka inquired, and Muichirou didn’t have an answer that would satisfy the question.
The deep sapphire blue eyes observed him as he stared out to the engawa once again, with the warm cup of tea wrapped comfortably around his palm and fingers. He can feel the eyes staring at him for a little while, but not long they resolve to a quiet, comfortable silence. Tomioka brought his towel up to his hair as he rubbed it through his scalp and strands. He then excused himself to change to a more comfortable outfit as sitting on wet clothing of course wasn’t the most comfortable one.
Muichirou was still dazed, but something about being there made him feel at ease. The effects didn’t appear until some time, but he noticed the mist in his head cleared up little by little, now he felt lighter. Still couldn’t remember, but the world around the edges of his eyes were no longer as dull. Maybe it was the tea that Tomioka prepared.
“Hey, what’s in the tea?” Muichirou questioned when Tomioka entered the room once again, fully dressed in a dry white juban tucked neatly under a loose hakama pants and over it he wore his mismatched haori.
The mismatched haori, half of it plain maroon and the other half a geometrical pattern, sparked something in him. A scene played inside his head as he realized, remembered ! He saw snippets of Tomioka, in hashira meetings he remembered how people talked about Tomioka, the cold and distant Tomioka.
“Huh, you’re Tomioka-san. W-What’s your breathing style?” A spark of eagerness rushed through him all of a sudden.
“Uhh.. water.”
"Water has memories, Muichirou."
-
Having just changed into something warmer, Giyuu threaded back to the guest room from his bedroom. On his way back, he couldn’t help but to think about what Muichirou wanted from him. The teen looked like he was confused as to why he was there. He knew he wasn’t supposed to assume the negatives as it was a waste of time, Tsutako told him so, but he couldn’t help it. Prior to this, they had never had long conversations or stayed with each other for a long period of time other than pillar meetings. So imagine his own confusion of having to greet a guest who seemed even more confused than he was.
As Giyuu slid open the shoji doors once more, Tokitou looked at him. The teen questioned and implied that he had put something into the tea. Internally, Giyuu panicked slightly, scared that the tea he used had expired beyond its date. He didn’t get to answer, however, as he was distracted at Tokitou’s eyes and the direction they were glancing at. They glanced at his mid part then his face and in a fraction of a second his dull mint green eyes suddenly lit up, as if he finally realized who he was interacting with this whole time.
Tokitou asked and Giyuu simply answered. Somehow knowing Giyuu’s breathing style suddenly made Tokitou’s eyes widened even more. He had never seen so much emotion out of the mist hashira at one moment like right now. Whatever Tokitou was going through inside him at the moment erased all assumptions Giyuu had on Tokitou wanting something from Giyuu. Maybe he did, but Tokitou wasn’t Shinazugawa, or any other hashira that hated him, so maybe he just needed help with something but forgot (like he normally did). But why did he come to him instead of any other hashira? Giyuu was never a help in anyone’s lives, Tokitou chose the wrong person to ask help to.
The rare sight didn’t last long however, Tokitou’s eyes suddenly reverted back to their emotionless empty ones.
“Water has memories. Do you know what it means?” Tokitou muttered quietly.
“No, I don’t.” Giyuu frankly replied. Other than the superstitious belief that water possessed the ability to retain memories, no, he didn’t know what Muichirou meant by his phrase. Nor did he know how the question related to him.
Tokitou stayed with Giyuu in his mansion until his uniform dried and his hair no longer wet. They stayed in comfortable silence, with occasional small talks, until the rain had stopped and it was time for Muichirou to go to his designated patrolling schedule.
Something told him that this wasn’t going to be the last time that the mist hashira will visit him. And Giyuu could only guess what went through Tokitou’s head in that split moment.