Work Text:
Eavesdropping was a ghastly habit unfit for a king; therefore, it would be ridiculous to claim that Gon was eavesdropping Yeong’s conversation with Myeong Seung Ah.
He was preparing to give a speech for National Foundation Day, as he did every year. Myeong Seung-Ah and Yeong were waiting for him, talking in what were supposed to be whispers. If their whispers were loud enough that the king could hear them, it was hardly his fault. It was also not his fault Yeong and Miss Myeong’s conversation was far more interesting than the speech he was supposed to be reviewing.
Apparently, she was trying to convince Yeong to be her plus-one for a relative’s wedding the following month. It didn’t look like Yeong was too excited to attend.
“Why do I have to go with you?”
“Because if you don’t, I’m uninviting you from my birthday” threated Ms. Myeong.
Her birthday was more than five months away and Gon was pretty sure that was just an empty threat.
“That’s a juvenile threat” replied Yeong.
“Fair, but you still have to go with me because I don’t want to deal with my extended family, it’s too much drama, but I also don’t want to skip the wedding because that would be even more drama. So I was thinking if we go together, we might make each other evening slightly less miserable”.
“If I don’t go with you my evening doesn’t have to be miserable at all”, replied Yeong.
“Trust me, I'm going to make you miserable if you let me go by myself”.
In the past, Gon used to suspect Yeong and Ms. Myeong were more than friends, especially so, because in the republic Eun-Seob was married to Myeong Na-Ri. He had discarded that suspicion long ago when he learned in this universe, Ms. Myeong actually preferred women.
“Why don’t you take that barista you were telling me about the other day?” asked Yeong.
“Why would I take her?”
“Because you have a crush on her”
“She doesn’t know that yet, and it would be weird if out of nowhere I just ask her to go to the wedding with me” explained Miss Myeong, “to her I’m just a regular in her coffee shop”.
“Well, ask her out, and if the first date goes well you can take her to the wedding” replied Yeong simply.
“You just don’t take someone to a wedding for a second date” replied Miss Myeong, “besides, you make it sound so easy as if you had had the guts to confess to your crush yet”.
Yeong had a crush?
That made an ugly feeling sit in Gon’s heart, heavy as a block of lead. Yeong had a crush? One that Gon knew nothing about he might add. How was it possible? Yeong was his best friend; they had been best friends for almost their entire lives. He thought he knew everything there was to know about Yeong. And yet, apparently, Yeong had a crush and somehow Gon didn’t know about it, but Miss Myeong did.
He stole a glance at them; Yeong was giving Miss Myeong the meanest glare he could muster; however, he didn’t deny Miss Myeong’s accusation. If anything, the red tint in his ears was a dead giveaway her words were true.
The ugly thing in Gon’s heart got heavier.
Miss Myeong didn’t seem affected by Yeong’s glare, which was impressive because Gon had seen soldiers shake in fear for less. She then started negotiating with Yeong that she would ask the barista out, but regardless of the outcome Yeong still had to be her plus-one for the wedding. To be honest, Gon was not really paying attention anymore.
Lady Noh entered a few minutes later to let Gon know it was time to leave. Gon realized he hadn’t even finished reviewing the speech he was supposed to give. It didn't matter, all he could think about was that Yeong had a crush. He couldn't remember what the speech was even about.
The speech passed in a blur, and so did the following days. Gon immersed himself in the unsolved equations in his blackboards, in an attempt to avoid thinking about Yeong’s crush, but it was in vain.
Who even was this person?
He didn’t have any clue to figure out this person’s identity. They have been friends for almost three decades, and not once he had ever witnessed Yeong crushing on somebody, so he didn’t even know what clues to look for. Not even when Yeong was a teenager he ever showed signs of being crushing on anybody. At an age when most boys had their brains fried by hormones, Yeong had been obsessed with training, so he could soon join the military and serve his king. The aforementioned king had been stupid enough and vain enough to assume he would be the center of Yeong's devotion for the rest of their lives, even if it was not in a romantic way. He would take what he could get.
Gon spent the next few days observing Yeong’s behavior around other people to see if he could guess his crush’s identity. And yet, after a few days, he had found nothing.
Yeong didn’t behave around anybody in a way that indicated they were the mysterious crush. Of course, this was Yeong he was talking about, he might just be very good at hiding it. However, Gon has always prided himself on being able to see through Yeong’s aloof mask. He has always been able to read the younger man like an open book. How was it possible that Yeong had managed to hide a crush from him?
How long has this been going on?
It then occurred to him that maybe it was someone Gon didn’t know. Yeong didn’t have a lot of hours in the day that were spent away from Gon, but they did exist. He didn’t know everybody in Yeong’s life.
Maybe it was a cashier at the grocery store Yeong usually went to. Or the twin’s P.E. teacher. Maybe it was someone who trained next to him in the gym?
There were endless possibilities.
On day ten, he decided to just ask Miss Myeong. She seemed surprised that he had heard their conversation, one would think the Royal Public Affairs Officer and the Captain of the Royal Guard would know how to avoid being overheard.
She turned out to be utterly unhelpful.
“With all due respect Pyeha, but that’s Yeong’s private business, if you want to know you will need to ask him directly,” she had said giving him a polite bow.
Not giving the King information he directly requested should be considered treason. Gon briefly considered making it an order, but even he realized that would be taking it too far.
He dismissed Miss Myeong, as apparently, she was more loyal to Yeong than to her King. That much became clearer the following day when Yeong kept glaring at Gon and limiting his interactions with him to the ones required by his job, while Miss Myeong kept looking slightly guilty. Gon was a genius, but it didn’t take one to figure out Miss Myeong had told Yeong that Gon had asked her about his crush and that was why he was giving him the silent treatment. She was accruing points to win a beheading on a spring day.
Luckily, Gon had plenty of experience with Yeong being angry at him, and he knew how to deal with it. So that very same night, he showed up at Yeong’s room in the barracks (room was an understatement, it was more like a tiny apartment, perks of being the captain) with a box of Yeong’s favorite fried chicken and a six-pack of Yeong’s favorite beer and his best apologetic face.
“Chicken and beer for Captain Jo!”
“I didn’t know the kingdom's economic situation was so terrible that even The King had to get a second job delivering food, Pyeha.”
Gon knew Yeong was going to forgive him eventually, he always did. But it was still a relief to realize Yeong couldn’t possibly be that mad because he let him in without much objection. Usually, it took a little more convincing to get Yeong to forgive him.
Gon did his best to ignore how Yeong’s white shirt hugged his chest. He had seen Yeong’s shirtless before, and every single time it rends him speechless, knowing exactly what was under that white shirt was taking Gon’s thoughts to a dangerous route.
They sat on Yeong’s bed next to each other, eating carefully to avoid getting food crumbs in Yeong’s clean bedsheets. They didn’t say anything while they ate, but it didn’t feel awkward. The beauty of being friends with someone for almost your entire life is that you don’t feel forced to fill the silence with meaningless chit-chat about the weather, silence could be really comfortable too.
They were in their second beer when Gon finally said:
“I’m sorry”. He said, he knew Yeong knew exactly what he was apologizing for, but he still clarified “I shouldn’t have tried to interrogate Miss Myeong about something that was your private business”.
Yeong nodded, silently accepting his apology. Then he asked:
“Why did you?”
That was the thing, why did he? Maybe because the ugly thing in Gon’s heart was getting heavier and heavier every second just for the knowledge that Yeong had a crush. Maybe because he knew exactly the name of that ugly feeling and the reason why it was there.
You see, the thing is Gon was unequivocally, undeniably, irrevocably, in love with Jo Yeong. He had been for a long time now; he didn't even know for how long. How could he know? Loving Yeong was as natural to him as breathing was. Back when they were kids and their four years age gap felt a lot bigger, he had loved Yeong like a little brother. He was not able to pinpoint when those feelings shifted from platonic to romantic. Maybe it was not a single moment when it happened, it just changed so slowly and naturally, he didn’t even notice.
He realized it until Tae Eul broke up with him, a year and a half ago, because she accused him of being in love with Yeong and trying to convince himself he was in love with her. He wanted to deny her words but found out he couldn’t.
After his feelings for Yeong were pointed out to him, it became impossible to ignore them. He had probably been in love with Yeong for years or even over a decade now, and he was just too blind to his own feelings to notice.
He couldn’t tell Yeong any of that, of course. He hadn’t even told him the real reason why Tae Eul broke up with him.
“I was curious, I didn’t even know you had a crush, best friends tell each other this type of thing you know,” Gon said, it was not a lie, just not the complete truth either. “I can’t believe you told Miss Myeong before you told me, your best friend of twenty-eight years”.
He said this mostly joking, with no real venom in his voice, but deep down, it was something that was bugging him. Why did Yeong confide in Miss Myeong before confiding in him? Sure, she was his friend, but Gon was his closest friend, anyone could tell you that.
“I didn’t tell Seung-Ah, she figured it out herself” replied Yeong as he finished his second beer and immediately went for the third before adding “and I didn’t tell you because it’s pointless”.
He sounded absolutely defeated, a tone of voice seldom used by the man that made it to Captain of the Royal Guard before he turned twenty-three.
“What do you mean that it’s pointless?”
“It’s never going to happen anyway, so what’s the point of going around talking about my unrequited love for an unattainable person like a mopey high schooler?”
Unrequited Love.
Love.
Not “crush”.
Love.
Thinking about it, Gon had heard Miss Myeong use the word “crush”, not Yeong, this was the first time Yeong was speaking of his feelings out loud and the word he chose was “love”.
Yeong didn’t just have a crush, he was in love with this mysterious person. The room was spinning and suddenly Gon felt sick, it was not related to the beer at all seeing he hasn’t even finished his second can yet. He wanted to excuse himself and leave, but couldn’t bring himself to move either.
He was overly focused on the “love” part of “Unrequited Love” that only as an afterthought he paid attention to the word “unrequited”.
Did Yeong really say “unrequited love for an unattainable person”? As if someone could be unattainable to Captain Jo. Even the King, the most unattainable person in the whole kingdom, was head over heels with him.
“Maybe the point is to give your friends the opportunity to let you know you are being an idiot for assuming you don’t have a chance with this person” replied Gon, as sick as he felt by the idea of Yeong being in love with someone else, he was first and foremost Yeong’s friend, and he was going to support him even if it killed him.
“You don’t even know who this person is” muttered Yeong, not looking at Gon in the eyes.
“I don’t need to know who they are to know there is no way they are unattainable to you” assured Gon, and he was being absolutely sincere.
“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew who this person is.”
“Well, Miss Myeong sure knows who this person is and I bet she told you the same thing I did” replied Gon, he knew for sure Miss Myeong wouldn’t be pushing Yeong to confess if he didn’t think he had a chance.
“She is under the impression my love is not unrequited,” admitted Yeong, still avoiding to look at Gon in the eyes for some reason, he was probably embarrassed to be talking about this topic at all. He had always been like that, good at literally everything except talking about his feelings. “But I know she is wrong''.
He said it so matter of factly as if he didn’t have a single doubt his love was unrequited.
“How can you know that for sure? Have you confessed yet?”
“There is no need to confess just to hear what I already know” replied Yeong.
Why was Yeong so frustratingly unaware of how desirable he was?
“Do you know what the Golden Ratio is?” asked Gon.
Yeong shook his head.
“It's also called the divine proportion. Two quantities are in the golden ratio if their ratio is the same as the ratio of their sum to the larger of the two quantities”, explained Gon. “Throughout history, the ratio was treated as a benchmark for the ideal form, whether in architecture, artwork, or the human body. You can find it everywhere, from pre-Hispanic architecture in the America’s to Leonardo da Vinci’s works”.
Yeong didn’t interrupt him. Gon was aware of how people quickly lost interest when he started talking about mathematics, but Yeong never did. He always listened to Gon running his mouth a mile per second even if he didn’t always understand what he was saying.
“When looking for a romantic partner, you fit in the metaphorical Golden Ratio for a prospect” explained Gon, “You are the captain of the Royal Guard, you come from a good family for those that care about that kind of things. Those superficial reasons make you desirable to even the people that don’t know you personally. But us that have the privilege of knowing you, we know what a wonderful human being you are. And it definitely doesn’t hurt you are criminally attractive.”
Gon regretted those last words as soon as they left his mouth. Friends compliment each other all the time, and he knew there is nothing wrong with platonically calling your best friend “criminally attractive”. But if he wanted to keep his feelings for Yeong a secret he needed to be careful with his words.
He sneaked a glance at Yeong, who was looking at him, ears tinted pink, and with a hopeful expression on his face. Maybe he had managed to convince Yeong how absurd he was being by claiming he didn’t have a chance with his crush.
“My point is, there is nobody that is unattainable to you, as long as they are into men then they are surely into you” I included, he doesn’t say.
For some reason Yeong’s expression fell, Gon wondered what he had said that caused that.
“My parents are taking a couple retreat next weekend,” Yeong said casually as if he hasn't just abruptly changed the topic, “It’s so weird seeing them act like a couple now, but I agreed to spend the weekend with the twins, they want me to take them to the movie theater…”
He then started talking about the movie the twins wanted to watch.
The sudden change of topic sent the message loud and clear, Yeong didn’t want to keep talking about his love life. Part of Gon wanted to never speak about it again too, just lock in a box the idea of Yeong being in love and losing the key in the sea. The other part, the masochist one, wants to push, he wants to ask what’s so wonderful about Yeong’s mysterious person that makes him think they are so unattainable.
He didn't do either, and just went along with Yeong new conversation topic, without stopping thinking about Yeong's mysterious person.
“Pyeha, Captain Jo was in a car accident…”
Court Lady Noh hadn’t even finished saying those words when Gon was already on his feet, his heart pounding so fast and loud he could hear it.
“He is alive and conscious,” she assured him quickly, “he was taken to the Royal Hospital. I have requested for your appointment with the ambassador of Portugal to be re-schedule and for your car to be ready, as I assumed you would like to go to the hospital right away”.
She assumed correctly of course. Lady Noh followed him when he made his way outside of his study giving him a brief summary of what happened. Apparently, Yeong had been on his way to the movie theater with the twins when they encountered a drunk driver.
Yeong and the twins made it out of the accident alive, but they were all taken to the Royal Hospital to treat their injuries.
The other driver was unconscious on a hospital bed but he was going to be processed according to the law once he was discharged from the hospital. Jail time and the suspension of his driver's license didn’t feel like enough punishment for endangering the lives of Yeong and the twins, Gon thought angrily.
The trip to the hospital felt like it lasted forever, even when the other vehicles always moved away to allow the King’s car to pass. Maybe it felt like that because Gon was desperate to reach Yeong. He always felt like that every time Yeong ended up in the hospital. Which was pretty often, considering the nature of his job.
When he made Yeong his Unbreakable Sword, Gon had only been eight years old, way too young to understand the duty he was imposing on his friend, Yeong was even younger, therefore, he didn’t understand what he was agreeing to.
It wasn’t until that infamous Chuseok of 2002 that the reality of Yeong’s role fully sunk in. When Gon was giving his speech, one of Lee Lim’s old followers made an attempt on his life. Somehow he had managed to sneak in a revolver and he had shot two twice at Gon. Yeong had reacted faster than any adult present including the guards, and had tackled Gon before any bullet could touch his body.
One bullet hit the podium and the other one was embedded in Yeong’s shoulder blade. The horror of seeing blood pouring out of Yeong’s tiny shoulder, the fear of losing him, the guilt because the bullet was meant for him, everything was seared with fire in Gon’s brain.
Later that night, after the bullet was removed and Yeong was recovering in a hospital bed, Gon tried to get Yeong to promise to never do something like that again. But Yeong only looked at him and asked him:
“Then how do you expect me to fulfill my duty as your Unbreakable Sword?”
Back then Yeong had been only twelve years old and looked ten, but his question made Gon realize that Yeong understood what being the Unbreakable Sword meant better than sixteen-year-old Gon did.
Scared that one day he was going to lose his friend, Gon tried in vain to convince Yeong that he really didn’t need to sacrifice his life for him and that he didn’t need to join the Royal Guard. Yeong took offense in his words and that lead to one of their longest arguments without reaching an agreement.
That argument was repeated a few times in the following years until Gon gave up once he realized there was nothing he could say or do to stop Yeong.
Still, every time he saw the bullet scar on Yeong’s shoulder blade, he was painfully reminded of that incident. That incident didn’t happen in the new timeline, so the scar was no more, but Yeong was still full of scars he had gotten protecting Gon in the new timeline.
Yeong was always protecting him and sometimes it feels like, as powerful as a king could be, Gon still felt powerless to protect Yeong. Human life was so fragile. Even if it wasn’t an armed enemy, something else may steal Yeong from him. For instance, today was just a Saturday, Yeong wasn’t even on duty, he was just taking his younger siblings to watch a movie, and now he was in the hospital because some idiot decided to drink and drive.
As soon as Gon set foot in the Royal Hospital, he was met by an army of doctors who were updating him on the status of Yeong and the twins.
Yeong had broken his left tibia, and currently, the doctors were evaluating if he was going to need surgery or if a cast would suffice.
Jo Kka-bi only had minor scratches, but it was a traumatic experience he just went through so as part of the procedure he needed to be evaluated by a pediatric psychologist before being discharged. Jo Eun-bi has dislocated her left shoulder and would need to wear a sling for three weeks. Just like her brother, she was scheduled to be evaluated by a pediatric psychologist later today.
Both twins were hanging out in Yeong’s room at the moment, their parents had already been contacted and were going to be in Busan in a few hours.
Gon headed to Yeong’s room walking twice as fast as the rest of the staff that was following him. He knew a broken tibia was not fatal and was easily treatable, but he still wanted to see him as soon as possible, make sure he was alive, he was breathing, and his heart was beating.
He was about to reach the doorknob when he heard Jo Kka-bi's voice from inside:
“You are combing his hair the wrong way!”
“No, you are combing his hair the wrong way!” replied Jo Eun-bi’s voice.
“Why do you even need to comb my hair?” asked Yeong. Gon could picture the fondly exasperated expression Yeong probably had right now.
“We are trying to make you look good Hyung.”
“Yes Oppa, you need to look very pretty for when our brother-in-law comes to visit you.”
Brother-in-law.
Had Yeong gotten together with his mysterious person already? Gon felt as if his feet have been nailed to the ground. He knew his staff was probably wondering why he was not opening the door, but he knew none of them would dare to question him out loud.
“I’ve told you not to call him that, he is not your brother-in-law” scolded Yeong’s voice.
Air entered again in Gon’s airway. Yeong was not dating his mysterious person yet. Mysterious man, as he now knew the gender of the person. Even if they were not dating yet, Yeong was expecting this man to visit him in the hospital. This meant that today could be the day Gon would meet the man that stole Yeong’s heart.
“He could be if you weren’t such a coward” replied Jo Eun-bi’s voice. She had to be the first person to call Yeong that word.
Gon decided that was a good moment to open the door before Yeong and Eun-bi started arguing. One would think that with an age gap greater than twenty years, Yeong wouldn’t argue much with the twins. One would be wrong.
“Pyeha,” said the three of them in a chorus when Gon came inside the room.
“Hey Yeong-ah,” he smiled at Yeong, then gave another smile at the twins and greet them too.
Gon took a good look at them, evaluating his status. Yeong was in bed, he had a few scratches on his face and arms, and his left leg was resting on a pillow in an unnatural position. Jo Eun-bi had an arm in a sling, and Jo Kka-bi had a few scratches on his face and a long scratch on his leg.
Gon felt another wave of rage against the drunk driver, that man should receive capital punishment for his irresponsibility.
Yeong’s hair got his attention, it was combed in like fifteen different directions. Clearly, that was the twins' attempt to “make him look pretty”. It was kind of redundant as Yeong was always gorgeous, but that hair looked like a hedgehog. The hazards of being an older brother.
Yeong noticed he was staring and tried to fix his hair. Adorable.
“Hey, you are ruining our hard work” protested Jo Kka-bi.
“Yes Yeong-ah, don’t ruin their hard work,” said Gon, earning a glare from Yeong. He took a seat next to Yeong’s bed and asked “How are you doing?”
“Not bad. I mean they had to give me something for the pain in the leg and I’m going to get another x-ray taken before they decide if I need surgery,” explained Yeong, “but it could’ve been so much worse.”
“Yes, you should’ve seen how quickly Oppa reacted, he stopped our car from flipping over”.
Jo Eun-bi’s words froze Gon’s blood. He couldn’t even fathom to think what could’ve happened, it made him feel sick. He needed to think of a sentence worse than capital punishment for the drunk driver.
“Yes, Hyung was like an action movie hero” offered Jo Kka-bi.
“Your brother always reminds me of an action movie hero, he is cool like that” agreed Gon, he stole a glance at Yeong, and saw the pink that tinted his cheeks. Yeong always got embarrassed when he received compliments, it always made him blush. Yes, definitely adorable.
Yeong opened his mouth to reply but they never found out what he was planning to say as his doctor picked that exact moment to interrupt because he needed to take Yeong to get another X-ray.
It turned out Yeong didn’t need surgery. He would have to wear a cast for a month and had to do another month of physical therapy after the cast was removed, which made for a total of two months of medical leave that Yeong wasn’t very happy about, but at least he was going to get discharged the very next day along with the twins.
Gon stayed in the hospital until visit hours ended, canceling all his activities for the day and came back first thing in the morning. He left the hospital with Yeong when he got discharged in the afternoon. Yeong’s mysterious man didn’t show up at all. The only visitors aside from Gon himself were Yeong’s parents, Court Lady Noh and Miss Myeong.
How was it possible that the mysterious man didn’t have the decency to visit Yeong in the hospital?
What an asshole!
Gon’s days were infinitely more boring with Yeong being on medical leave. He had gotten used to his friend’s following like a shadow while he attended all his activities and the longest time they have been apart since Yeong came back from the military was that brief period when Yeong swapped places with Eun-Seob.
After Yeong was discharged from the hospital Mr. Jo had insisted on taking his son home with them for the entirety of his leave.
Gon knew how independent Yeong was, and how often he tended to disagree with his father, so he suspected Yeong wouldn’t actually be away from him for the two entire months of leave. He would probably be away a week at most, still what a boring week that would be.
As predicted, Yeong came back on day six, annoyed at his father, and determined to survive by himself in his room in the barracks. And of course, it had taken Gon seventeen minutes since Yeong came back to show up in his room with a sympathetic ear in the unlikely case that Yeong wanted to rant about his most recent disagreement with his father, but he was not really the type to rant, he was more the type to ignore his own feelings hoping they go away.
They ended up sitting on the bed, watching a movie so bad it was good, like they used to do when they were younger.
“We should start doing this again, why did we even stop having movie nights?” asked Gon.
“I don’t really remember, I guess we were always too busy”
“Well, now you are free for the next five weeks so we at least should resume our weekly movie nights, does Wednesdays work for you?” proposed Gon.
For a horrible second, it occurred to him that maybe Yeong was not interested in resuming their movie nights, but that thought was erased when he saw the smile Yeong gave him as he said:
“Yes, Pyeha, let’s do that”
That was not the smile of a man that was saying yes just to agree with his king, that was the smile of a man that was legit excited to spend more time with his best friend.
Gon felt like he could float like a balloon just seeing Yeong smile like that, then the balloon was deflated when he remembered Yeong was in love with the asshole that couldn’t bother to visit him in the hospital.
He was brought out of his sad thought by the rumbling from Yeong’s stomach.
“Sorry,” said Yeong looking vaguely embarrassed.
“It’s okay, I’m hungry too,” replied Gon sincerely “What do you want to have for dinner? I’m cooking.”
It was far from the first time Gon offered to cook for Yeong, but somehow the other man was surprised every single time he offered.
“It’s okay Pyeha, there is no need, I can cook,” replied Yeong. As every single other time Gon had offered to cook for him, Yeong had refused. At this point it was just tradition, Yeong refused a couple of times but gave in when Gon insisted, it happened like that every single time.
“You can’t stand on your legs right now, it’s safer if I cook,” replied Gon, going to Yeong's fridge, and opening only to find out it was empty.
“I forgot I was out of groceries; I haven’t done shopping in a while” admitted Yeong while both of them were staring at the empty fridge defeated.
Gon couldn’t judge him because he has never bought groceries in his entire life.
“I’ll order the Royal Kitchen to send us food,” replied Gon, “but you are not off the hook, tomorrow I’ll be back, and I’m going to cook for you and you are going to enjoy it”.
“What a terrible threat, you fearsome King” deadpanned Yeong sarcastically, which meant he probably wouldn’t oppose too much tomorrow when Gon insisted on cooking for him.
In all honestly, it would probably be easier for Yeong to move to the main part of the palace, where he could waited upon day and night of his recovery, but Gon knew Yeong would not agree. He knew Yeong would hate to have the staff, especially the guards, see him being vulnerable. So, he didn’t offer.
The following weeks he went to Yeong’s room every single night with a bag of groceries ready to cook enough food for them to share dinner and for Yeong to reheat for the next day until Gon showed up again the following night. After dinner they usually sat next to each other in the bed, either watching TV or talking about everything or nothing. It was really comfortable.
He thought Yeong was doing a stellar job resting on his leave, until on week three he caught him texting instructions to Seok Ho-Pil for Gon’s talk at Busan’s National University. He had to threaten Yeong with adding a month of paid vacation at the end of his leave if he didn’t stop trying to command the Royal Guard while on leave. Yeong was probably the only person in the world that could be threatened with a vacation.
The weeks flew by, and an exact month after the accident, Yeong got his cast removed and started his month of physical therapy before he could return to work. A week later, Yeong was able to stand and walk by himself, so he technically didn’t need Gon cooking for him anymore. But Gon still enjoyed cooking for Yeong so he showed up as usual.
Yeong didn’t protest when he saw Gon at his doorstep.
“I’m making Bibimbap” announced Gon for all explanation as if it was reasonable that the king of the country just kept showing at the captain of the Royal Guard’s room just to cook for him, especially so now that he could do it himself.
This time, Yeong offered to help. Yeong was not a skilled cook, but he was good at following instructions so he was a great help in the kitchen.
“Seung-Ah showed up earlier today” commented Yeong when Gon asked about his day while he chopped cucumbers, Seung-Ah showed up to Yeong’s room every other day, so there must have been something note-worthy about this visit “Apparently breaking my leg in two doesn’t get me out of going to her second- aunt’s wedding with her and she wanted to make sure our outfits match.”
Gon had completely forgotten that Yeong had agreed to be Ms. Myeong’s plus-one for a wedding. Maybe because learning that Yeong was in love with someone else had made him forget completely about anything else that happened that day.
“She doesn’t give up easily,” said Gon.
Yeong nodded in agreement, “I didn’t think she would.”
“When is the wedding?” asked Gon, now slicing carrots.
“Saturday’s evening” answered Yeong, “That’s why Seung-Ah had a sense of urgency. I understand she didn’t do this before because I was recovering, but I fail to see why it’s so important that our outfits match. What even is burgundy?”
“It’s a tone of red, is Ms. Myeong dress burgundy?”
“Yes, and she wants my tie to be the exact same tone, but we couldn’t find one, and she took me to a lot of stores today”.
Then Yeong proceeded to tell Gon about his traumatic experience shopping for ties with Ms. Myeong. Which was a form of torture he had never trained to endure.
There was something extremely domestic about the entire situation. Them cooking together, talking about their days, then having dinner together, lying next to each other in bed. It already felt really domestic before, but Yeong’s cast worked as a reminder that he was doing this because his friend needed his help, even if said friend didn’t ask for it.
But now with Yeong's cast gone, and Yeong moving freely around the room, helping Gon cook, it was easy to forget how this all started. It was too easy to pretend they were boyfriends. Not Captain Jo and King Lee Gon, just two regular men. They would come home from their job, greet each other with a kiss, rest for a bit while they cuddled, then they would cook together, have dinner together, and then…well there were other uses for the bed aside from lying there to watch TV.
He wondered what it could be like, to hungrily take Yeong’s lips, how would it feel to desperately remove Yeong’s shirt, cherishing every part of Yeong’s exposed torso with his hands and mouth, then going for the belt.
He stopped the train of thought right there. If he let his imagination run too wild, he was going to have to find a good way to explain to Yeong why he got an erection while they were chopping onions and he really didn’t need that kind of embarrassment in his life.
Besides that was really not an appropriate train of thought at all. Yeong was in love with someone else. Even if that someone else was an asshole that didn’t even bother visiting him in the hospital.
This whole situation was sad and he wished he could at least open up to somebody. It was not going to change the fact that he loved his best friend and his best friend didn’t love him back, but at least he would be able to vent. However, his closest and most trusted person was Yeong, and he could not vent to Yeong about his unrequited feelings for him.
There was nobody he could talk to about his feelings for Yeong.
No.
There was nobody else in this universe he could talk about his feelings for Yeong.
Luckily for Gon, this wasn’t the only universe.
After Tae-Eul broke up with him, Gon thought he’d never return to the republic. There was nothing left for him there. The only person that remembered him was Tae-Eul, everybody else he had met there had lost any memories of him after the timelines got reset, so for months after their break up, Gon didn’t visit the republic.
Months later he realized he missed Tae-Eul. He didn’t miss her as a girlfriend, after all, the reason for the break-up had been that Tae-Eul realized before he did that Gon had been in love with Yeong since forever, but he missed her as a friend. He missed her wit and unique insight of life (even if he didn’t always agree with the aforementioned insight), he missed her strong will and impulsiveness. She was one of the few people he could be himself around, and he didn’t want to lose that connection.
That’s how a year ago he found himself in the republic again, talking to Tae-Eul for the first time in months, apologizing for how he hurt her because he was blind to his own feelings. Offering a sincere friendship, and by some miracle, Tae-Eul didn’t seem to hate him, as a matter of fact, she seemed really happy to see him and accepted his friendship right away.
They both had so few friends, that losing a good friend over a failed attempt of a relationship felt like a waste. In the past year he came back to the republic a couple of times to catch up with Tae-Eul, hang out with her for a bit, maybe go eat at that restaurant she liked. It was nice to hang out with a friend in public without worrying about the public opinion, as he was nobody in the republic.
Saturday was the perfect day to visit the republic, because there was nothing in his schedule, and he was not planning to go to Yeong’s room either because Yeong was going to be at Ms. Myeong’s second-aunt wedding.
That’s how on Saturday night he found himself tying Lady Maximus in Tae-Eul’s yard.
“I haven’t heard from you in months you asshole, I was starting to think your kingdom has gone to war or something” was all the greeting Tae-Eul gave him, but she was smiling, so she was happy to see him.
They both sat on Tae-Eul’s couch, with Tae-Eul updating him on the biggest news he had missed from the republic: Eun-Seob and Nari were expecting their first kid, which was wonderful news, if a bit sad because he will never get to be involved in their life.
They kept talking about other subjects and now that he had the opportunity to talk to Tae-Eul, he was second-guessing coming here. Would it be weird to talk to his ex-girlfriend about the tragedy of his love life? Probably not, considering Tae-Eul had no problem telling him all about the cute new guy in the police station that had asked her out.
Would it be insensible to talk about his love for Yeong when that was the reason for their break-up? Maybe, but Tae-Eul seemed to be over him, and it would definitely be easier to talk to her because she already knew he was in love with Yeong, so he didn't have to start from scratch.
Should he be talking about Yeong’s crush to Tae-Eul without Yeong’s permission? Possibly not, Yeong was a really private person so he probably wouldn’t appreciate Gon spreading his private business.
“So, are you going to tell me why you look like a kicked dog today?”
That’s all the opening he needed, someone to ask him what was going on and he was pouring his heart out like he was a teenage girl in a pajama party.
“I think I’m experiencing heartbreak,” said Gon, it was the first time he was naming out loud the ugly, heavy block of lead that has taken place in his heart for the last month and a half.
“What happened with Yeong?” asked Tae-Eul softly.
“I learned he is in love with someone else,” he said, voice even, but avoiding Tae-Eul’s stare.
“Is he? Are you sure?” she sounded really skeptical, not that Gon could blame her, he was Yeong’s closest friend and he still didn’t suspect a thing until he heard Yeong’s talk with Ms. Myeong.
“He confirmed it himself” replied Gon.
Tae-Eul was staring at him oddly, and then she said:
“Hang on, I’m going to get us a bottle of soju and when I come back you are going to tell me exactly word by word what Yeong told you”.
While he gave Tae-Eul a summary of the whole “Yeong is in love with someone else” thing, one bottle of soju turned two, and then three, and then four. Gon was not the type to indulge too much in alcohol, he did enjoy a couple of beers every now and then, and the occasional glass of wine or champagne at formal events, but never more than that as it would be unfitting for a king to be seen intoxicated. Today was an exception as he was in the republic where he was no king, venting with his friend about his broken heart, if there was a day for him to get spectacularly drunk, it was today.
Besides, Tae-Eul turned out to be a great drinking partner, she had the alcohol tolerance of a bull. She had drunk a glass of soju for every single one he had taken and yet she looked way less drunk than him.
“And you know what pissed me off the most? It's how they didn’t even bother showing up when Yeong was in the hospital. Or even when Yeong was recovering in his room” he slurred.
“How do you know this person didn’t show up?” asked Tae-Eul.
“I was there the whole time in the hospital, and I visited him daily when he was recovering, I would know if that person had visited him” explained Gon. The whole situation was upsetting. “Even if they don’t love him back, are they so heartless that they couldn’t be bothered to check on him?”
“He is not heartless, he is dumb and blind, mostly dumb but also really really blind” replied Tae-Eul, she was starting to slur her speech too, but it was way less noticeable.
“How do you know if you don’t even know them?” asked Lee Gon, then his brain, slowed by the alcohol caught on that he had avoided telling Tae-Eul the gender of Yeong’s mysterious person. “How do you know he is a man?”
Then something occurred to him.
“Do you know who he is?”
He doubted Yeong has opened up to Tae-Eul, but who knew? Those two had a weird bond, it kind of reminded him of siblings that didn’t like each other very much but still loved each other. Still, Yeong rarely spent time with Tae-Eul without Gon, so he didn’t think it was likely he had talked to Tae-Eul about it.
“Nobody has told me anything, but you need to be blind not to notice,” replied Tae-Eul.
It would’ve been one thing if Yeong had told Tae-Eul about his mysterious man, but if Tae-Eul had noticed it meant this man had to be someone that both Tae-Eul and Yeong had interacted with. That shortened the list of suspects a lot considering they were from different universes.
It actually only left him with only two possible suspects: Eun-Seob and Kang Shin-Jae.
Eun-Seob would be the ultimate unrequited love for Jo Yeong as he was married, he was from another universe and he didn’t even remember Yeong’s existence. But he highly doubted it was him, it felt too incestuous or self-cestuous or something. Yeong and Eun-Seob were so different from one another that Gon never thought of them as the same person, physical similarities aside, but he still didn’t think it likely that Yeong had fallen for another version of himself. It was obvious he cared a great deal about Eun-Seob, but not in a romantic way.
Kang Shin-Jae seemed like the most likely to be Yeong’s beloved. They had started on the wrong foot, but it was obvious they had become friends and really cared about each other. He was completely unattainable to Yeong because while he was now a citizen of the kingdom under the name of Kang Hyeon-Min, he didn’t remember ever meeting Yeong. For him, Yeong was just the King’s Unbreakable Sword, a well-known face in the kingdom, not someone he knew personally. Even if Yeong tried to get to know Kang Hyeon-Min, this man had a completely different life than Kang Shin-Jae. All the life experiences that made Kang Shin-Jae who he was, were completely different for Kang Hyeon-Min, and the man that now bore the name of Kang Shin-Jae in the republic, was someone they never met more than like a comatose man in a bed, it was as if the Kang Shin-Jae they knew has disappeared from existence.
It would explain so well why Yeong thought his love was completely pointless, as he was in love with the memory of a man that didn't exist in any universe. It would explain why the mysterious man never visited Yeong, and honestly, it was more heart-breaking than just Yeong being in love with some nameless, faceless asshole.
It wouldn’t explain thought why Ms. Myeong and the twins were trying to get Yeong to confess. They couldn’t possibly know about Kang Shin-Jae’s existence and the reset of the timelines, and if they did, they would understand why Yeong’s love was impossible.
Unless, they didn’t actually know the identity of Yeong’s secret love and, just like Gon, assumed nobody would unattainable to Yeong.
He felt like he did when he resolved a particularly complex math problem, except he was not happy about it, the whole situation was just sad.
“It’s Kang Shin-Jae isn’t it? Or well Kang Hyeon-Min.” He asked.
Tae-Eul stared at him like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“No, he is not. You are dumb and you are blind” answered Tae-Eul, apparently those were her favorite words to throw today. Still, Gon felt oddly relieved it was not Kang Shin-Jae, “I refuse to believe you have a genius-level IQ”.
“Why are you insulting me?” asked Gon in a tone that would’ve been more prideful if every single word wasn’t slurred “Insulting the King is…”
“Treason, I know, but you are no king here” she replied. “Stop trying to figure out, you are so far off the mark is not even funny. Just talk to Yeong.”
“He doesn’t want to tell me either.”
“No, don’t ask him. Talk to him, about your feelings for him. Confess.”
“Why would I do that when I know he doesn’t return my feelings?”
“Maybe you would be pleasantly surprised”
Even when the whole room spinning from the soju, Gon understood the meaning behind Tae-Eul’s words. It turns out she didn’t actually know who Yeong was in love with him, she thought Yeong was in love with Gon. It was a common misunderstanding, one probably born from their close friendship and Yeong’s devotion to protecting the King’s life. She should see the rumors that floated around on the internet.
“I’m not the one Yeong is in love with,” he said in the most neutral tone possible as if it wasn’t the most painful truth in his life.
Tae-Eul clearly didn’t agree.
“How can you be sure?” asked Tae-Eul.
That was the thing, right? How could Gon be sure? Well, he actually couldn’t, in a multiverse of infinite possibilities, there had to be a possibility, if minuscule, that Yeong did return his feelings, that Yeong’s mysterious man was Gon. But he couldn’t let himself believe that unless he had proof. He would not be able to mend his heart if he let himself believe Yeong loved him back just to find out he was wrong and Yeong was indeed in love with someone else.
“I can’t be sure,” admitted Gon, “It’s not impossible, but… but it’s unlikely”.
“Well, just confess to him, take the risk!”
Gon shook his head.
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not? Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that” said Tae-Eul bringing the sixth bottle of soju and serving one glass for Gon and another for herself. Drinking more soju simultaneously looked like the best and worst idea at the same time, so, of course, Gon accepted the glass.
“I don’t want to ruin my friendship with Yeong in case my feelings turned out to be unrequited” answered Gon, “not to mention that being the monarch of the country people don’t usually say no to me, I cannot put Yeong the position where he might feel like he has to say yes”.
"I don't think Yeong is the type to tell you yes just because you are his king," she said.
He didn't reply, he just hugged one of the cushions in an attempt to get the world to stop spinning. Tae-Eul looked at him sadly but didn’t insist.
“I’m going to bed” she announced, “I don’t think you should try to ride Lady Maximus while drunk, so you can crash here. Dad is not in Seoul, so you can take his room.”
Gon nodded and made an honest attempt to get out of the couch and go to Tae Eul’s father’s room, but he felt as if he was going to fall face-first on the floor. Whatever, the couch was really comfortable too. He felt his lids closing heavily as he lay on the couch, and the last thing he remembered before drifting off was that he should probably wake up around five in the morning because needed to be back in the Palace before Lady Noh went to his room to wake him up at six because he had to attend to the Busan National’s Museum opening ceremony at eight.
The first thing he noticed when he opened his eyes was that there was too much light in Tae-Eul’s living room to be five in the morning. Probably because according to his watch, it was noon.
Shit!
The second thing he noticed was the headache and the nausea that came with being hungover. He was never drinking again. It didn’t solve any of his problems and just made him feel physically ill on top of everything.
On the table, he found a note from Tae-Eul.
I received a call from the station about a case, you would probably be gone by the time I return home. Help yourself with whatever you need from the kitchen, including carrots for Lady Maximus.
Don’t be a stranger!
Ps: Please do yourself and everybody else a favor, get your head out of your ass, and confess to Yeong already. Trust me, I’m right on this one.
What a stubborn woman. Had she not heard a single word of Gon’s explanation of why confessing to Yeong was a bad idea?
There was no point in rushing home as the inauguration of the Busan National Museum probably ended already so he helped himself with some Tylenol, water, and dry cereal as Tae-Eul didn’t have milk in the fridge. Of course, with the Manpasikjeok he could go back in time and be in the palace at six in the morning, but time travel was a messy business, and it was not worth the hassle just for a six hours trip to avoid missing the opening of a museum.
He grabbed the carrots for Lady Maximus and made his way back to the kingdom before one in the afternoon.
The first thing he noticed when he crossed the portal back home was that Yeong was waiting for him on the other side, sitting on his horse. He was dressed… wow! Just wow! He couldn’t form a coherent thought.
Yeong was dressed in a three-piece black suit, with a white undershirt and a burgundy tie, and he looked absolutely delicious. He also looked absolutely pissed.
“Yeong-ah?” asked Lee Gon.
“I found His Majesty,” said Yeong to his earpiece. “We are on our way to the palace right now.”
Without giving Gon a single word Yeong made his way to the palace, looking back just to check Gon was following him.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on leave?” asked Gon curious. He had come to the correct date, right? He hadn’t accidentally time-traveled a few weeks in the future.
“Weren’t supposed to be at Busan National’s Museum opening ceremony this morning, Pyeha?” retorted Yeong coldly.
So, he had come to the correct date.
“Were you called on duty once they realized I was missing?” asked Gon, he thought the Royal Guards should know how to handle the king randomly disappearing without involving the captain that was on leave. Especially so if one considered how often he randomly disappeared.
“They didn’t call me, I volunteered to help them find you,” explained Yeong.
None of them explained why Yeong was dressed in a three-piece suit that was making Gon’s imagination go to places it shouldn’t go. The only explanation was that Yeong was probably still wearing the same clothes he wore the previous day for the wedding. This meant that the palace staff didn’t realize he was missing when Court Lady Noh entered his room this morning, they probably noticed his absence much earlier, probably the night before.
Yeong probably left the wedding in order to help them look for Gon. He probably hadn’t slept at all in the entire night.
Gon felt a surge of guilt.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause a ruckus,” said Gon “I was planning to be back before anyone noticed I was missing. I didn’t plan to sleep over at Tae-Eul’s place, it just sort of happened. I came back here as soon as I woke up.”
Yeong only nodded in silent acknowledgment.
They made their way back to the palace in silence. Gon felt slightly self-conscious that he probably smelt like alcohol.
For some reason, the whole situation was making him feel like a scumbag husband that was caught sneaking back home after being with his mistress. This was ridiculous as Tae-Eul was not his mistress, he was not Yeong’s husband, and Yeong was probably just pissed because he worried every time Gon disappeared.
Still, he can’t help but wonder, just for a millisecond, if Tae-Eul’s insane belief had some merit and the man Yeong was in love with was Gon. If maybe the reason why Yeong was upset was not only because Lee Gon disappeared, but also because he was jealous that Gon had spent the night at Tae-Eul’s place.
He couldn’t afford to think about it. It was better to just stop thinking about it, it was safer to just stop thinking about it.
Gon didn’t actually stop thinking about it.
As a matter of fact, the hypothesis that Yeong was in love with him plagued every single one of his thoughts during the rest of the day. He had to admit, it didn’t sound that insane once he thought about it carefully. Under the hypothetical scenario that he was Yeong’s mystery man, a lot of things actually started making sense.
Like how Yeong never voluntarily told Gon, his best friend, about being in love with someone. Of course, if the aforementioned someone was Gon, Yeong couldn’t talk to Gon about Gon.
How reluctant Ms. Myeong had been of giving him a name, even though it was definitely treason to withhold information from the king.
Gon had assumed Yeong’s mystery man never showed up at the hospital. But if it was him, Yeong’s mystery man had been by his bedside the entire time.
Yeong’s work day was spent almost entirely in Gon’s company, and they spent most of their free time together too, how could Yeong be in love with a person that Gon didn’t know anything about? It made more sense that person was Gon himself.
What didn’t make sense was that Yeong was so sure the other person didn’t love him back. How could he even think that? How could he think Gon would not love him when Gon loved him so desperately that sometimes he thought he couldn’t breathe?
But Gon was always too careful to not show his feelings, maybe that was why Yeong believed his love was unrequited.
Everything made sense now but Gon couldn’t allow himself to believe it without proof. He couldn’t afford to be wrong about this, there was too much at stake. He could lose his friendship with Yeong, which was the most important relationship in his life. Not to mention his own heart would never recover.
He couldn’t let himself hope.
He needed to confirm he was right before he could allow himself to believe it.
He needed to talk to Ms. Myeong. The last time he asked she had refused to tell Gon the name of Yeong’s mystery man, but this time Gon was not trying to get a name. He was just going to as a simple yes or no question.
“I heard you needed to talk to me Pyeha,” asked Ms. Myeong entering his office ten minutes later.
Gon nodded.
“If it is about missing the opening of the Busan National Museum, we have already apologized to the museum on your behalf. We are also going to release a press statement tomorrow” said Ms. Myeong handing him a folder. “You can go over it, and I can make corrections if necessary”.
“Thank you so much,” said Gon taking the document from her hands, “that is however not the reason why I called you here”.
Ms. Myeong was just looking at him expectantly.
“So, about the man that Yeong is in love with…”
Rolling your eyes at the king was disrespectful and probably illegal.
“Pyeha, I have already told you I cannot discuss Yeong’s personal business with…”
“Is me, isn’t it?”
Ms. Myeong's expression gave him the answer he needed before she even opened her mouth.
“How did you find out?” she whispered.
“It was me who he was in love with all along!” he said, more for his sake than for Ms. Myeong.
“Yes, Pyeha” replied Ms. Myeong, seemly unaware that Gon was talking to himself.
Even though he believed he was right when he asked Ms. Myeong, hearing her confirm it was making his head spin. The world didn’t feel real.
Gon’s heart was pounding so loud he could hear it again, but this time it was not a bad sensation. He felt like he was floating. Yeong was in love with him. How was it even possible that Gon had gotten so lucky? Was this the reparation that life gave him for how much he had suffered?
He had been such an idiot; how could he not see it before?
“Yeong wanted to keep it a secret,” said Ms. Myeong, with a worried look, “I know it’s not my place to ask this Pyeha, but how do you feel about Yeong?”
It was really not her place to ask, but Gon understood she was coming from a place of love and concern for her friend. It also gave him insight into what worries Yeong had probably expressed to her in the past.
“You don’t need to worry; his feelings are returned and I’m planning to let him know that”
The squeal Ms. Myeong emitted was probably in bats’ frequency.
Now that he knew Yeong was in love with him, it didn’t make sense anymore to keep his own feelings a secret. He didn’t have to worry about ruining his friendship with Yeong or making him uncomfortable with his feelings, as those were mutual.
God, he was really going to do it, when less than twenty-four hours prior he was explaining Tae-Eul it was a bad idea that he confessed to Yeong as if it was the most absolute truth in his life.
How quickly things could change.
If it was up to Gon he would have ran to Yeong’s room straight after his conversation with Ms. Myeong. He was desperate to run to Yeong, hold him, confess his love, and shower him with affection.
But his plans were hindered by Court Lady Noh, who entered his office right after Ms. Myeong to remind him that in half an hour he had a meeting with the Minister of Commerce. He had already neglected one of his duties today, he couldn’t neglect two.
Not even a long and boring meeting with the Minister of Commerce could dampen his good mood. By the time the meeting ended, it was almost the time he usually went to Yeong’s room to prepare dinner.
If he was going to confess to Yeong, he was going to do it properly. Today he was going to prepare a romantic candle-lit dinner, they would share a glass of champagne, and then Gon would talk to him about his feelings, Yeong would confess he felt the same (even though Gon already knew) then they would share a romantic kiss in the candle-light, and then they would get married and Yeong will be his prince consort.
Okay, maybe he skipped a couple of steps there, but it was still a solid plan.
He briefly considered preparing everything in the palace's kitchen and calling Yeong there for a romantic surprise, but he quickly discarded it as they wouldn't have much privacy there.
It was better to just go to Yeong's room as usual.
He was unsure if Yeong was expecting him to show up or not, the last time Gon saw him, a good five hours ago, he was making a point of silently ignoring Gon as they returned to the palace.
Yeong looked mildly surprised to see Gon at his doorstep too, as if he wasn’t sure either if Gon show up.
“Pyeha,” said Yeong, allowing Gon to enter the room.
Gon’s heart made a flip, like a teenager with his first love. Despite being in love with Yeong since forever, and beings friends with him for almost all his life, just the knowledge that Yeong was in love with him was doing all kinds of things to his heart.
“I’m making steak” managed to say Gon, in what he was hoping was a natural tone of voice, inviting himself in.
For some reason seeing Yeong in person for the first time since he found out Yeong was in love with him had a strange effect in Gon. It was one thing to discuss it with Tae-Eul or Ms. Myeong and believe Yeong was in love with him because it was all theory. But it was another thing entirely to have the man in flesh and bones in front of him and to believe that wonderful, marvelous, gorgeous man was in love with Gon.
They were next to each other cooking in the kitchen and he couldn’t stop stealing glances to Yeong. Everything about him was perfect, even his terrible technique to peel potatoes was perfect in some twisted way.
None of them mentioned their interaction in the forest.
“How was the wedding?” asked Gon as he was throwing the steaks in the pan.
“Well, I didn’t know anybody there except for Seung-Ah, which worked for me because I’m not too much into socializing” replied Yeong. “It was not as boring as I had feared though.”
Yeong started telling him a couple of anecdotes about the wedding. Gon could hear him talk all night. He felt so content just here cooking with the man he loved and loved him back.
“You seem to be in a good mood” observed Yeong when they were serving their dinner.
"I’m in a good mood,” replied Gon.
“Something good happened today?” asked Yeong.
The word ‘good’ didn’t make justice to how Gon was feeling about finding out his feelings for Yeong were requited.
“Something fantastic happened today” replied Gon, smiling brightly at Yeong, “something marvelous, magnificent, delightful. And actually, I came here to talk to you about it.”
Yeong nodded but avoided Gon’s eyes.
The food was now cooked, now he just needed to set up their romantic dinner.
Gon realized the flaw in his plan to have a candle-lit dinner: Yeong didn’t have a table in his room, they always eat in his bed. Maybe he should’ve invited Yeong to go to the main part of the palace instead, but they wouldn’t have the privacy they enjoyed here.
The lack of a table was not going to stop Gon, thought maybe the candles weren’t a good idea. He got the bottle of champagne from the bag.
“It must be a very good thing what happened if you even brought champagne to celebrate,” said Yeong, for some reason, he sounded kind of sad.
Maybe Gon was overanalyzing things and Yeong had a perfectly neutral tone.
“It is” replied Gon, as he served two glasses of champagne and handed one to Yeong “I cannot even explain to you how happy I am right now.”
“Does it have something to do with your visit to the republic?” asked Yeong, accepting the glass but not taking a sip.
Did it have something to do with his visit to the republic? Not really, Yeong was in the kingdom, and the reason for his happiness was Yeong. But he wouldn’t have learned that Yeong loved him if he hadn’t visited the republic the previous night.
Yeong seemed to take his silence as confirmation.
“You and Lt. Jeong got back together right?”
What…
No!
No!
That was definitely NOT what Gon was trying to tell him. Thought he could see how Yeong reached that conclusion. Gon had disappeared to the republic last night, returned until one in the afternoon reeking of alcohol, and now he was acting all happy and giddy. If Yeong was under the impression Gon was in love with Tae-Eul, then the conclusion that last night Gon had hooked up with Tae-Eul and now they were back together seemed like the logical one.
Yeong was as terrible at guessing as Gon was. The last thing he needed was for Yeong to believe he was with Tae-Eul again. He needed to go straight to the point of why he even came here.
“I know you are in love with me,” blurted Gon. He had a whole speech planned for his confession, but at the moment, he couldn’t remember a single word
All color left Yeong’s face, he was staring at Gon as if he was seeing a ghost.
“What?” he asked, but it was clear he had heard the first time.
“I know the man you are in love with it's me. That's why nobody wanted to tell me who he was, it's because it's me” explained Gon. “And that’s great because…”
Yeong didn’t finish listening, he didn’t say a word, he just turned around and left the room. Gon followed him. He couldn’t let him go away, not when he hadn’t managed to confess yet.
“Yeong wait!” he said when he reached Yeong in the hallway. He didn’t even make it an order, but Yeong stopped anyway.
“How long have you known?” asked Yeong, as if he was afraid of whatever answer Gon would give him.
“A few hours” replied Gon.
“A few hours?” asked Yeong. “You found out today, less than twenty-four hours since you got back together with Lt. Jeong, and the first thing you do is show up in my room and want me to celebrate with you your reconciliation? This is uncharacteristically cruel of you, Pyeha.”
This was just going south.
“Tae-Eul and I didn’t go back together, and never will,” said Gon, looking at Yeong in the eyes, he could see the relief on Yeong's face “We are just friends, nothing happened last night except that we drank soju and she called me an idiot in every variation that the Korean language has to offer”.
“Why was she calling you an idiot?” asked Yeong, it looked like he was ready to side with Tae-Eul on this one.
“For not noticing your feelings for me” replied Gon simply.
“She was the one who told you?” asked Yeong.
“She didn't exactly tell me, but yes she was the one that opened my eyes.”
“She had no right to tell you anything at all” replied Yeong, but he could hear the distress in his voice. “And you have no right to talk about my personal life with her, or anybody else for that matter.”
“I’m sorry,” said Gon sincerely “but to be clear, I’m apologizing because I shouldn’t have discussed your private life and feelings with Tae-Eul, or anybody else, but I don’t regret learning about your feelings for me, I’m glad I know now”.
"You are glad you know?” asked Yeong.
“Very, very glad”
Yeong looked like he rather be anywhere else in the world.
“Why are you glad?” asked Yeong, “Isn’t this situation uncomfortable for you? Or are you glad you know so you can now distance yourself from the creep that fell in love with you despite you only ever offering friendship?”
“Do you really think so low of me that you think I would distance myself from you if you had unrequited feelings for me?” asked Gon offended, “and the funny part is, they are not even unrequited. They are tremendously requited actually”.
Yeong looked stunned as if he was struck by a lighting. Gon took advantage of the silence so he could finally say what he should have said earlier tonight. Or years ago, really.
“I love you,” he said simply, if he tried to come up with something more complicated, they were going to end up in their nth misunderstanding, “I’m in love with you Yeong. The reason why I’m glad I learned about your feelings for me, is because I would’ve never confessed to you if I didn’t know you loved me back. I couldn’t risk losing you. Not to mention the power imbalance that would play out in receiving an unwanted confession from the King. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to say yes to me. Therefore, I wasn’t planning to say anything ever, but then I found out you are in love with me, so I tried to set up a romantic dinner tonight and confess and here we are.”
There, Gon said everything he wanted to say, the ball was in Yeong’s court now. Yeong still looked stunned.
“You are in love with… me?” he asked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“I’ve been in love with you for a long time” replied Gon, why was it so hard to believe, “I think I told you once, you are the Golden Ratio of a romantic prospect, and while that remains true, there are more reasons why I’m in love with you. I’m in love with your sense of humor, your smiles that you rarely gift but when you do, they can light the entire room, your fierce loyalty, and how comfortable I always feel around you. There are thousands more reasons and I could list all of them to you one day.”
Gon noticed the beginning of a tear forming in Yeong's eyes and slowly rolling in his cheek, he rarely ever saw Yeong cry, at least he hoped he was crying out of happiness. He reached Yeong’s face and softly wiped the tear with his thumb. This seemed to break some sort of spell because suddenly the space between them was no more. He wasn’t sure who made the first movement, but out of a sudden, his lips were connected to Yeong’s.
For a second all Gon’s brain functions stopped. Yeong’s lips were soft and Gon wondered how he had lasted thirty-six years alive without once kissing them before today. Yeong moved his hands as if he was trying to rest them on Gon’s nape, but seemed to change his mind, probably thinking about Gon’s boundaries when it came to physical touch. Gon took Yeong's hand in his and guided it to his nape. Yeong smiled into the kiss, and Gon just melted.
The kiss ended sooner than Gon would’ve liked. It was just a chaste, tight lip, sweet kiss, and he was melted into a puddle in the ground. How could it be that Yeong had so much power over him?
The kiss ended, but Yeong’s hands were still on Gon’s nape, and there were less than three centimeters between their bodies.
“We are both idiots,” Yeong said, while Gon was still trying to process what just happened. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time too. In fact, you are the only person I have ever been in love with. I wasn’t planning to confess either, I thought there was no way my feelings were requited and your friendship was too valuable for me to risk it.”
“I agree, we are both idiots,” replied Gon. “For the record, you too are the only person I’ve ever been in love with.”
Yeong looked at him confused.
“What about Lt. Jeong?”
Gon shook his head.
“I liked her and I thought I was in love with her, but I wasn’t. I was in love with you all along, that’s why we broke up, because she realized my feelings for you before I did.”
“How long have you been in love with me?” he said that last part as if he still couldn’t believe this was real, that Gon loved him, it was okay he was planning to spend the rest of his life showering Yeong with affection, that should erase every doubt he had.
“I honestly don’t know. I have always loved you, but it wasn’t always in a romantic way. I don’t know when things changed, all I know is that I’m in love with you now and I have been for a long time. At least a decade I think.”
Yeong nodded, satisfied with the answer.
“How long have you been in love with me?” asked Gon in return. He had only learned about Yeong’s mystery man recently, but he didn’t know for how long Yeong had been harboring those feelings. According to Yeong, it had been a long time too, but how long exactly he didn’t know.
“Since I was eleven years old.” He replied calmly as if that wasn’t over twenty years ago. That was way longer than Gon was expecting. “You were fifteen yet you never treated me like a kid, you always treat me like your equal. You always listened to my opinions and you always enjoyed spending time with me. You always gave me your brightest smiles. How could I not fall for you?”
Gon wrapped his arms around Yeong and hug him tight. Yeong melted into the hug, suddenly their eight-centimeter height gap was pretty convenient as Yeong’s head rested perfectly on Gon’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry I made you wait so long,” he said holding Yeong. “I mean I couldn’t possibly have reciprocated back then as you were a kid, but I’m sorry I made you wait until we were both in our thirties.”
“Well, it just means we have to make up for the missed time,” said Yeong, hugging Gon back.
“How do you propose we make up for that time?” asked Gon smirking flirty.
“Well, I’m sure will think of something” was the last thing Yeong said before connecting their lips back together.
The first started being a soft chaste kiss like their first one, but it quickly escalated soon their mouths were devouring each other’s. Yeong’s hands in Gon’s nape and Gon’s hands in Yeong’s lower back, both pulling each other closer, until a paper sheet wouldn’t fit between them.
All his senses were just focused on Yeong, just Yeong and the delicious way their tongues were dancing with each other, how he could feel Yeong’s warm chest against his. Gon could die in this very same moment and die a happy man, yet at the same time, he ached for more.
Yeong broke the kiss and Gon was about to protest but Yeong started kissing Gon’s jaw, giving him a tingly sensation everywhere that his lips touched.
“Is it okay if I kiss your neck?” asked Yeong carefully, since he knew the neck was a sensitive topic with Gon. But Gon was not thinking about Lee Lim or the old stab scar on his neck that no longer existed in this timeline, all he was thinking about was Yeong’s warm lips and how he needed to have them again on him.
“Yes, please”
“I promise I won’t leave a mark” promised Yeong, but as soon as his lips made contact with Gon’s neck his brain short-circuited, and every coherent thought left him, all he could think about was Yeong.
Yeong kissed Gon’s neck, while he undid the first button of Gon’s shirt for better access, and then he moved into Gon’s collarbone.
He opened the second button of his shirt, a clear invitation for Yeong to keep kissing every exposed area. Gon’s knees were weak by Yeong’s kisses, so he rested his back against the wall. Yeong smiled at him and opened the rest of the buttons.
He kissed Gon’s chest and then gave an experimental lick to Gon’s left nipple making a moan escape from Gon’s lips. He seemed satisfied with this and gave the same attention to the other nipple getting the exact same reaction.
Gon was so incredibly hard and they have barely done anything yet. That was the effect Yeong had on him. He was satisfied with this and at the same time, he wanted so much more. He wanted to open Yeong's shirt too, kiss him the way Yeong was kissing him.
Then, Yeong started kissing lower. When he was kissing Gon’s abdomen and going dangerously lower, a sole brain cell clocked in Gon’s brain and he remembered they were still in the hall of the barracks. Literally, anybody could walk into them, it was a miracle it hasn’t happened yet.
“We should continue this in your room,” said Gon in heavy breaths, it was a wonder he could form coherent sentences at all.
“Well, my bed is definitely more comfortable than the wall,” replied Yeong with a mischievous smirk. Oh, how much he loved his Yeong-ah.
Later that night, when they were lying in bed together, tired and sweaty from their previous activities, but so very comfortable in each other's arms, a thought occurred to Gon.
“Earlier I considered preparing dinner in the Palace kitchen and calling you there” commented Gon, playing with a lock of Yeong’s hair, “I’m so glad I decided to come here instead, we wouldn’t have been able to do this in the palace's kitchen.”
“I guess we could but we shouldn't if we don't want to traumatize the staff,” said Yeong, who was clearly falling asleep.
“That would’ve been one way to announce our relationship,” said Gon, “call me old fashioned but I rather announce it by telling people about it”.
“You are planning to date me publicly then?” asked Yeong, surprised.
Why wouldn’t he?
What did Yeong mean by that? Sure, he didn’t think Gon was planning to have Yeong as his dirty little secret and then marry a woman to make her his Queen, right?
“I want everybody to know that I’m yours,” said Gon, “we don’t have to announce anything right now if you don’t feel comfortable yet, but I was not planning on keeping this a secret forever unless that’s what you want of course.”
It suddenly occurred to him that maybe that’s what Yeong wanted.
“I understand being in a public relationship with me it’s not going to be easy, and I really don’t blame you if that’s not what you want” added Gon, “I would like to date you publicly, but we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“Ideally, I would like to tell the entire world that I’m yours too, but we need to take other stuff into consideration,” explained Yeong. “Aren’t you going to need a queen eventually?”
“Well, having a Prince Consort sounds more appealing,” replied Gon.
“What about the line of succession?” asked Yeong, sounding unsure.
“We can get a surrogate so the child is biologically mine,” replied Gon. Was it too fast to be thinking about marriage and kids when they just confessed their feelings a couple of hours prior? Yes, definitely yes, but it was something that needed to be considered in their unique circumstances. Besides, they have been pining for each other for so long that nothing felt too rushed. “I know some people are not going to be happy about it, but they can suck it up, I have already sacrificed too much for this Kingdom. Being with you is the one thing I’m not willing to sacrifice”.
Yeong gave him a kiss on the forehead, and somehow that felt even more intimate than the lovemaking that took place in this very same bed.
“You don’t have to,” said Yeong, "whatever storm that comes, we'll face it together.”
Yes, he didn’t have to worry, with Yeong by his side he felt ready to face everything.