Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s been half a day, and Olivia’s not back. 

Everyone still alive has headed back to the train with nothing else to do and seemingly endless questions left to ponder, but the question of “will they ever come back?” seems to have already been answered as time stretches ever onward. And Tanaka has a somber gut feeling that he will dreadfully hate the answer.

Marcoh will probably hate it even more, but Tanaka’s equipped to help him with that reality.

At the very least, since yesterday, the strange inhabitants of Prehevil and its surrounding area finally, truly dropped dead. Henryk, who had been in a daze for the past few days, mindlessly cooking for everyone in an empty restaurant, finally “woke up.” In the blink of an eye, the mist lifted, and for the first time since they woke up in this hell hole, everyone left breathed a little easier as they felt a weight lifted from their shoulders. 

Finally, they felt some semblance of sanity.

In the present moment, it felt like everything could be all right, even for a bit. But Tanaka knew that, likely in the following days, everyone would have to process the nightmare they went through, and he didn’t really know what to do in the wake of..waking up from this shared nightmare? Some part of him knows that they should all stick together, he’s learned the value of sharing your troubles with other people, but he also knows that everyone has plans—he’s desperate to somehow make up for lost time himself—and they’ll likely never see each other again. 

He doesn’t want to never see Marcoh again. It’s really quite a selfish desire, but in the short time Tanaka’s come to know him, he’s really become quite attached. 

And in that way he’s familiar with but knows he should never act on. 

That red-haired gentleman, August, has been explaining the past few days to everyone still alive, and Tanaka hasn’t been able to wrap his head around much of such esoteric concepts, but he doubts August is wrong. There was too much seen that couldn’t be explained by any law of reality, and Karin has been furiously scribbling down every word out of August’s mouth, no doubt to one day be compiled and released to the public.

He’s glad she has an outlet for the horrible things they all saw in Prehevil. Tanaka isn’t even sure if he wants to go back to his old job, as a salaryman, pretending nothing bad ever happened in his life ever. Maybe he should return to Edo, where this nightmare is far away and he can rigorously work himself to death, ignoring his shattered psyche whenever he needs.

But Tanaka doesn’t want to do that anymore. For the first time in his life, despite the living apocalypse and hell he endured, Tanaka actually wants to take a break and think about things for a while. He wants to live. 

“Marcoh, what do you want to do after this?” He nudges the boxer next to him, crossed arms and head hanging low in a nonchalant, tough guy attitude Tanaka has learned is just a facade that belies one of the kindest, most caring individuals he’s ever known. Which isn’t a very high bar to clear, but Marcoh soars kilometers over what Tanaka has known regarding everything. 

Marcoh stays unmoving for a bit, but Tanaka can see his brow furrow a little more in thought. He leans down next to Tanaka’s ear, warm breath ghosting, and murmurs, “I don’t know. I want to see my sister, but I’ll wait for Olivia as long as I can first.” 

Tanaka nods, and without hesitation, replies, “I’ll wait with you.” 

After August’s speech, Karin steps up and announces to their band of survivors that they’re all going to wait another two days in Prehevil for the souls that sacrificed themselves in that vault. It’s a unanimous decision, and Maria and Levi even urge that they’ll stay longer if Abella doesn’t come back before then. Karin agrees, they’ll all help search for their…friends?—by All-Mer, it’s only been two days—at the end of the waiting period. They will all stay longer if they feel they need to.

But if nothing comes up, then they all should leave. Keyword, should, because Rher knows what awful things lie here, but no one wants to potentially leave the four that ventured deeper into the heart of this hell.

At least the place seems safe again, and there hopefully won't be too much risk of anyone going insane. Plus, it’ll be a good time to connect with the other ‘players’ of that horrible game; he hasn’t spoken much with Levi or August at all. Tanaka can’t help but smile a bit when the little soldier boy and Marina cling to each other and joke around like the world hadn’t almost ended for them, and he figures he could learn a little bit more from August about, well, everything? He still hasn’t formulated any coherent questions in his brain. 

It’d be good to talk to the other people on the train for once as well; Tanaka feels like he’s heavily burdened Marcoh by constantly getting into trouble throughout the last two days, and though Marcoh hasn’t given much sign of frustration, Tanaka still can’t help but feel a little guilty. 

He likes Marcoh in a way he doesn’t like to think about, and it’s almost terrifying how close they’ve become in such a short period of time. How close they’ve all become. 

Karin announces to the group that, for the rest of the day, they’re all going to wait here in the train for the others to come back. If someone leaves for a supply run or to use the bathroom, they have to bring someone with them. Tomorrow, if no survivor comes back, they’ll all search Prehevil and its surrounding areas together for any signs of life. Same thing the day after. 

Marina especially urges that they should extend the days spent searching for the others to three days, maybe four, maybe a week or more. After all Prehevil had so many hidden areas, unnaturally elongated wooden halls, and who knows what else? But August places a hard cap of four days maximum for searching: there’s no point in looking for dead ghosts, especially when this place has already driven them all to some level of madness. Marina understands that—she too wants to move on with her life, even though she’s gone through such horrors. 

Tanaka can’t fathom how someone so young has had to go through, has had to endure the trauma of the Termina Festival, and it makes him ache all the more for Olivia’s absence. Olivia, who was so young, bright, and caring beyond her years. She shouldn’t have had to toil through this hell; Tanaka hopes he eased her mind in some small way when they all laughed together just a night ago in the train. He hopes, more than anything, that she’s okay.

Marcoh shuffles just a tiniest bit closer to him—subtle but purposeful—and Tanaka swears he must have been thinking the same thing. 

They’re both terrified.

As the rest of the day stretches forward, everyone progressively becomes more on edge. They all swap stories about the hell they endured, and it physically pains Tanaka to hear what Marina had to endure with her father. He feels an unfamiliar, deep rage when Levi mentions how that ghoulish-looking gentleman assaulted him yesterday morning, and the subtle clench of Marcoh’s fists (thumb outside, Tanaka remembers,) keys in that he’s feeling the same thing. For the time being, however, Tanaka places a hand on Marcoh’s shoulder, feeling the boxer relax under his touch. 

Karin has been oddly silent, listening in on everyone’s testimonies and keeping the corner of her eye trained on the Bremen soldier still resting in the corner. When it’s her time to speak, she articulates in incredible clarity the hell she went through, her changing thought processes, and what she has pieced together so far. She jokes that it’d be nice to have Daan here for once, if only to “bitch about how wrong I am about everything,” and everyone laughs if a little bittersweet. 

August pats her on the back, saying she’s mostly right, but most things that have happened are entirely nonsensical to the average person. Marina nods in agreement; she knew it was something bigger than any human could have done from the beginning. Henryk reluctantly shares his two cents, his mind being under their control for quite a bit. 

“It was like…I could only focus on one thing. I could only think about that one thing; nothing else mattered…” he turns to look outside the window, in the direction of Prehevil, “I think I was lucky it was just about cooking for you all. I don’t know what I would’ve done if it were anything else.”

Tanaka doesn’t like the thought of how cruel the gods dealt his hand—he wants to believe that, at the end of the day, his choices are his own and nothing will go awry if he chooses correctly. But he knows that, even if he doesn’t fully understand what’s going on as deeply as August does, that’s not the case. Still, the mere concept exhausts him beyond reproach. 

When it’s Tanaka’s turn to talk, Marcoh speaks up instead, laying out how they mostly did supply runs before Olivia led them to try and search for more. He leaves out the part about Olivia’s sister. Tanaka adds on his own little pieces to their story, how he kept getting into trouble with the townsfolk (or, technically what was left of them) and that weird clown a few times. He’s thankful beyond…really anything for Marcoh saving him so many times. 

Marcoh turns his head away from him, hand covering his jaw in something of a pout, and Tanaka wonders if he said something wrong before August lets out a booming laugh, congratulating Tanaka for surviving. 

When they’ve all shared their tales, Henryk declares it time to eat, so they all scatter in pairs to collect ingredients in the woods. Tanaka’s surprised that so much time has passed just…talking, but he’s thankful to learn more about his fellow ex-contestants. Even if most of what they said was absolutely horrible, he can’t help but feel like there must be something incredible about everyone to have survived up until this point.

He’s not sure if that’s much the case with him; there were definitely certain points where Tanaka was certain he would die. In fact, he feels like he should have died. He definitely would have, if not for Marcoh. And even to some extent, Olivia. She could easily survive on her own with a wheelchair—the botanist had a wisdom and natural affinity for surviving it seemed. 

So, in his mind, she has to still be alive. She should be here, lecturing him and Marcoh about which plants and herbs are edible and fresher, which are best to keep for healing in case something goes awry later.

He can feel her absence in the way Marcoh stalks closely behind him, as if he’d disappear as soon as he left Marcoh’s sight. Tanaka hopes that, preferably soon, it’d be back to the way it was: walking side by side, Olivia leading them forward towards whatever goal she kept pursuing.

That hope is slowly dwindling as the day stretches onward, and Tanaka catches Marcoh breathing harder than normal, peculiarly for an athlete like him. 

He stops, and Marcoh bumps into him, but Tanaka stands his ground. “Hey, are you alright?” He turns around, looking up at the larger man. 

Marcoh looks like he’s about to cry. 

“…do you want to talk about it?” Tanaka knows Marcoh knows what ‘it’ is, and the boxer nods in agreement. 

Marcoh sinks to the ground, no longer blanketed in mist and musk, and clutches onto the lapels of Tanaka’s suit jacket as he does so, bringing the salaryman down with him. He snakes his lumbering arms around his shoulders, and Tanaka can feel the tears soaking into fabric as Marcoh’s head rests in the crook of his neck, sobs muffled in his collarbone.  

“Tanaka…I-I don’t think she coming back.” Marcoh’s voice was muffled. “I…I think,” he lifts his face from his shoulder and looks Tanaka eye to eye, “I think…she’s why we’re all okay right now. She—“

The salaryman cuts him off, reeling him in with a firm hug. Marcoh breaks out into sobs once more, and Tanaka can feel him shaking in his grasp. This man—who was so strong for him and Olivia during the hell they endured, who had the strength to level men and monsters alike with his fists, who protected Tanaka at every turn and saved him at every mistake—was now a mere crying, mortified child in his arms. 

Marcoh was strong for Tanaka during the Festival of Termina. In its aftermath, Tanaka would have to be strong for Marcoh. 

“Shh, shhhh…” Tanaka has never really comforted someone before, but he wants to try. He wants to help. “It’s okay, Marcoh, I’m…scared too…but we can’t lose hope now.” 

“Tanaka,” Marcoh says into his neck, “do you think she’s…? Okay?” 

He truly doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to lie to Marcoh, certain Olivia’s okay and giving him false hope, but he doesn’t want to make Marcoh feel any worse. So, he says, honestly: “I don’t know, but I believe she has done the best she can, so…I hope she’s okay. But I do believe …Olivia would want us to hope for her.” He ruffles Marcoh’s curly hair. “She would be quite displeased if she heard you gave up on her so early.” 

He feels Marcoh shake a little in laughter, and his sobs quiet down. For a little while, it’s just the two of them, sitting in the middle of a forest, trying to bear the weight of existence. Throughout it, he continues to pet Marcoh’s hair (something he’s been secretly wanting to do for a while now) until the man suddenly shakes again with laughter lifting his head. 

“I like it when you pet my head.” Marcoh says, looking directly into his eyes. 

Tanaka is stunned for a moment, and he can feel an unfamiliar heat seep into the area where Marcoh’s head once rested, crawling up his neck. Hastily, he stands up and pushes up his glasses. “That’s-that’s good, I’ll keep that in mind, uhhh.” He puts on his ‘business’ voice, “Let’s get back to the others—hopefully they’ve found something by now, and I still have a few herbs from a few days ago. We can just tell them that, without Olivia, we’re a bit useless.” He fears that mentioning the botanist will make Marcoh sad, but the boxer smiles.

“That’s probably true, anyway.” Marcoh lingers for a bit, spacing out off to the side before standing up to his full height. “Let’s go.” Short and sweet, per usual. 

The trek back is short, but both him and Marcoh are shocked to find a massive deer with an arrow clean through its head, in the process of being skinned and trimmed of everything inedible. August and Levi chat animatedly with each other, the young soldier boy radiating pride and excitement about the hunt as the older gentleman guffaws in encouragement.

Henryk, Karin, and Marina are by a small fire pit, tending to the flame as Karin collects the occultist’s knowledge and the chef’s experiences into a cohesive description to be spun into a narrative in the future. All enthusiastically swap theories, questions, and analyses as a vegetable stew bubbles in Henryk’s stock pot.  

“Oh, hey!” Henryk calls out, “you guys are back, I was starting to get worried.” 

“If any of you to die, or anyone else for that matter , I swear to All-Mer I will find your ghosts and beat you up.” Karin bites in addition, “Marina’ll teach me how.”

Said occultist giggles in response before turning to the two men in question, “I’m sure Marcoh and Tanaka’s ghosts won’t be too hard to find. They’ll probably be pretty close by each other.” 

Tanaka doesn’t want to dwell on what that means, but he hesitates to come up with a fast enough response. Luckily, Marina’s comment seems to fly over Marcoh’s head, and he bluntly asks: “What’s on the menu?”

Henryk cuts him off, “Did you bring anything back we could add?”

“Tanaka’s got some herbs in his briefcase.” 

The salaryman in question sheepishly bows his head a little. “If they’re of any use.” He opens what’s left and presents it to Henryk, who nods and picks out a few for the soup and for reserve later. 

“Good,” the chef nods, “I tried these guys earlier and they bring a really nice spiciness to dishes. Seems like that botanist girl taught you two something.”

Tanaka can tell Marcoh’s a little…on edge about Henryk, presumably because of how the chef treated Abella their first day. But Henryk is being helpful, so Tanaka just pats Marcoh on the back a little and is surprised as the tension from Marcoh’s shoulders drops quickly. 

August and Levi hand over a good few kilos of deer meat, and Karin sarcastically asks where the hell they’d store the rest when a massive…wolf???? Dog?? Greets them all from the shadows. 

Tanaka nearly falls back, barely being caught by Marcoh as August cheerfully introduces “Moonless” to their band of survivors.

“Oj, don’t look so scared, she doesn’t bite!” August reassures, but his grin is a little less certain than usual. Karin doesn’t look scared of the creature, but she cocks a brow at August’s blatant lie. 

It’s weird to see Marina jump up in glee and beg August to let her pet the dog, as if it were a little puppy and not an oversized beast, but the mere sight of Marina’s girlish enthusiasm calms Tanaka’s nerves enough that Marcoh sets him down and steps a bit away. 

Tanaka feels a bit guilty lamenting the cool night chill that he feels in Marcoh’s absence, but it’s forgotten somewhat as he watches Marina, then Levi, enthusiastically rubbing the beast’s belly. It’s too big for even the two of them, but August lifts Levi onto his shoulders to pet higher, and Prehevil has never felt so warm. 

Marcoh leaves his side to help Marina “be the better dog petter!!” while Tanaka sits down by Henryk and Karin, chatting idly about the scenery, the weather, anything to keep their minds from shattering. 

It works. For the first time in, perhaps a long time in his life, Tanaka can say he’s truly content. He doesn’t know what will happen after this, but he isn’t scared of the future for once. 

The dinner is incredible, as per Henryk’s standards, and they all bask in an aura of calm for once. Prehevil’s trapped game had isolated them from the rest of the world, but only now does it feel like truly nothing else exists but them. 

As Moonless picks meat off of the bones of the deer before then devouring those bones in an incredible display, they all wind down as the stress from today eats away at their exhaustion. At August’s insistence that he and Moonless will “stay up and keep guard, just in case,” the rest of them all settle into the train for the night. Karin too insisted on staying up, if only so she could interrogate more answers out of August.

Tanaka can hear Marina, Levi, and Henryk passed out, snoring softly near the front of the car. The idle chatter of Karin and August can be heard, muffled, from outside. The salaryman hopes that their story will get out someday, and though people may not believe him, at least Karin will ensure them all that, yes, this did happen. 

And that’s enough. 

Tanaka feels Marcoh roll closer to him, and he turns to face the other man. In the dark and without his glasses, he can’t see Marcoh at all, but the warm breath on his face tells him enough. 

Now, Tanaka doesn’t feel scared for his future, but he won’t lie that there’s a bit of fear regarding his and Marcoh’s future. If there even is one. 

But he’s tired, and he’s become self assured enough to admit that, yes, he’s very lonely, so he pulls himself closer to the boxer and buried his face in Marcoh’s chest. 

He’s relieved when he feels arms wrap around his shoulders, and quickly afterwards, Tanaka falls asleep.

Dreaming of a network of people in a sea of green. Dreamlessly.

“Tanaka, I’ll be fine! Keep some vials for yourself—I already have too many!”

“Just take my briefcase, Olivia, I want to make sure you’re 100% prepared to go in there.”

“We have Daan, we’re basically 1000% ready to go, I’ll be fine!” 

“…oh, alright. You’re already stronger than both of us anyway. I want to say ‘be careful,’ but that’s obvious. So, ‘take care,’ Olivia. Come back soon.”

“…I will. Thank you, Tanaka…for everything…”

“Olivia, are you sure you’ll be fine by yourself?”

“Marcoh, I’m with Abella, O’saa and Daan. I’m not ‘by myself.’”

“…do you have to go?”

“Reila’s in there. I have to see my sister. And you have to see your sister too, Marcoh. I know you get it. I have to do this.”

“…”

“Take care of Tanaka, ok? I’ll see you guys soon. Goodbye!”

Chapter Text

August wakes them up, bright and early, the next morning to begin their search for the others. It’s disquieting how they haven’t returned, but no one wants to acknowledge the fact, so they instead focus on the search plan August and Karin planned out the night before. 

The hunter knows about far more hidden routes and passages than Tanaka could have ever thought hidden within the gates of Prehevil, but the routing looks so efficient that the team could probably knock it out in two days. 

Karin agrees that they should be as thorough as possible and extends their stay in Prehevil. They’ll all travel in teams of two and return back for dinner, and if anything bad is to happen, then getting away is the number one priority. 

Tanaka points out their remaining, missing member—the Bremen soldier (?) still resting on the train—and Karin bites out that one of them should stay behind in case he’s unstable. 

“I can watch him,” the salaryman volunteers, “he’s still injured, and I’m sure he’ll want an explanation over—“

“No,” Marcoh cuts in. “I’ll do it.” He says it with such finality that silence immediately proceeds the statement without objection.

“…okay. Well.” Karin interjects dryly. “Henryk, you’re with me. Try not to go insane. Levi, August, you made a good team last night, so check the places that could still be dangerous and do what you need to. Marina, Tanaka, check the church and its surrounding area. The ritual circles should be deactivated by now, according to August, but double check just in case we left anything behind.” She turns to Marcoh. “If that Bremen bastard does anything testy, I give you full permission to break him open, Marcoh.” 

The boxer nods in response and cracks his knuckles unconsciously. 

As they finish breakfast for the day (some slightly less moldy bread, leftover vegetables, and meat dried by August), Marcoh keeps scooting closer to Tanaka, and it’s becoming somewhat…embarrassing? To constantly be so close in front of the survivors. Karin and Henryk have made passing glances but otherwise don’t acknowledge it. Levi doesn’t seem to notice, care, or think it’s out of the ordinary, but Marina and August keep shooting Tanaka knowing grins that make him slump in his seat and avoid their eyes. 

It was especially bad when August woke everyone up this morning with a surprisingly accurate wolf-howl, smirking as the two men emerged in tandem. 

Still, Tanaka doesn’t move. Marcoh’s warm beside him, and it reminds him how they’re both still alive. How they’re all, somehow, living.

When the meal is finished and most prepare to set out, Marcoh catches Tanaka’s wrist before he leaves, pulling the salaryman into a hug. 

“Please…” he’s trembling slightly, “come back.” 

I need you. It goes unsaid, but there’s a lump in Tanaka’s throat that says it too. 

“I will,” the salaryman assures, patting Marcoh’s back. “I’ll come running back to you if there’s any trouble.” He teases in addition before greeting the smarmy expression of an amused Marina. 

It’s only when they reach the gates of Prehevil that Marina finally speaks to him, well out of earshot of Marcoh. 

“‘Back to you , hmm?” She smirks, busying herself with opening the gate so as to appear completely casual, “that’s some pretty strong words, Mr. Tanaka.”

Tanaka plays along. He’s become accustomed to this sort of banter thanks to Olivia, and to an extent, O’saa. “Mr. Kida to you, Miss Marina.” 

“Oo!” Marina’s shocked reaction seems genuine, as if she had expected the modest salaryman to become too flustered to respond, but the girl quickly recovers. “Is that your surname or Marcoh’s?”

This actually does get Tanaka to sputter and redden in response—this girl is too clever for her own good. He uselessly stumbles over words for a bit before sighing in defeat. “It’s mine, Marina.”

“To be changed???” She presses, skipping through the barren, depressing streets of Prehevil, “or perhaps, to be given in the near future to a certain special someone?” 

“Mm. Yes, sure, Marina.” He’s still smiling despite his embarrassment. It’s a nice thought even if it’s an impossibility. “As I’m sure you will too one day.”

“…I hope so.” She replies, opening the doors of the empty church. 

Tanaka has been here before—once, when Olivia stepped into the confession booth and revealed she was in love with someone on the train…another woman apparently. He remembers the immediate anger and frustration that followed after O’saa came out of the booth on the other side, laughing at her expense. 

Before he knew the yellow mage, Tanaka couldn’t help but disdain for this little prank at Olivia’s expense, but O’saa did offer a genuine apology that eased his disgruntlement for a time. 

They later met the mage with an arrow in his shoulder, and Tanaka (and he suspects Olivia and Marcoh too) took it as some kind of karmic retribution. Of course, now Tanaka can’t help but empathize O’saa; not having access to some of his powers must have been terrifying. 

He wonders if they’ll find O’saa, if the mage did hold true on his promise to take care of Olivia for him and Marcoh. He hopes they’ll find O’saa; the man is too smart, too knowing to have died yet. 

Marina stands in the middle of the room, just before the trapdoor on the floor. She refuses to look down, instead peering up into the rafters and resting in their silence. “I don’t like it here.” It’s plainly stated, and there’s none of the humor previously in Marina’s voice. “Do you know any good stories? I need a distraction from…everything, really.” 

Tanaka’s willing to humor her—he himself needs a distraction too. He nods, “Anything you want to know particularly? I told Marcoh and Olivia a lot about my job and how I’m late to it right now, but if that’s too ‘realistic,’ then I can talk about something else.”

“Hm, I don’t really care about business or that bullshit,” Marina double checks the confession booth on both sides while Tanaka holds his breath, releasing it with no small amount of disappointment to not see a smug O’saa on either side, “Anything about your love life? Childhood drama? I don’t know, something interesting, I guess.” 

That’s pretty difficult for Tanaka, mainly because he’s probably one of the most boring people he knows, everyone on the train possessing wildly more interesting and unique lives from his. Before the festival, he just woke up, did work, got drinks sometimes, and fell asleep. He wasn’t happy, but it’s just what he did. 

Sure, Tanaka had…thoughts about love and a future and whatnot, but he that was one thing he could never achieve for his parents. So, he buried himself in his work instead. 

“…I don’t really know what to say; I’m not a very interesting person…” he begins, “but I could tell you about my teenage years growing up in Edo. Have you been there before, Marina?”

“No,” Marina’s voice is lighter and inquisitive, “what’s it like?” They step down the trap door of the church, pretending that everything’s all right.

Tanaka can remember what his sleepy little fishing town was like before he left it when the war began, with its heavily forested areas and clear blue skies. He remembers waking up at the crack of dawn just to get to school on time, studying tirelessly so that he may one day escape that little sleepy town.

In his memory, it’s paradise. It’s where he took naps in an overgrown garden, where he learned to swim and ride a bike, a time where his back didn’t pop like a soda can. But Tanaka knows his memory is flawed; he can see so clearly now how much he lived in the bubble of his parents’ expectations. Did any of that matter? 

He relays it all to Marina, who hums whenever he finishes a sentence and asks her own questions— did you have to wear uniforms? What did you do for fun? Is Edo pretty or do you prefer Europa? Truthfully, Tanaka’s rather indifferent to both locations, but he says that they’re both pretty in different ways. 

“The architecture is very different,” he explains, “Edo has a lot of deep, saturated colors and differently shaped rooftops. Europa has a lot of stone and grays, but these buildings are so big.” Marina looks uncomfortable looking over the disgusting results of what happened, but Tanaka doesn’t press her about it and continues talking in a professional tone. “Europa’s quite easy to get lost in, so I’m glad they have these big buildings to help you figure out where you are.” 

“Mhm. That’s what the church or Mayor’s Manor is like for Prehevil.” 

“So it is.” 

They search the church, Mausoleum Alley, the museum, and even have time to check out the bookstore until the sun is in the middle of the horizon. Marina picks out a few novels, showing Tanaka their summaries. Two of them are allegedly translated Edo myths, and Tanaka’s brow furrows when their synopses are completely unfamiliar to him. Probably some made up jargon by someone who visited Edo—he tells Marina, who giggles and tells him she’ll suffer through the inaccuracies for him. 

The walk back is peaceful but somber, not a trace of anyone found dead nor alive. Tanaka suspects that they’ll have to explore the remaining northern areas of Prehevil tomorrow, but he’s hesitant to go to the restaurant and the giant vault door where Olivia, Abella, O’saa, and Daan were last seen. He suspects Marina is too; that place is their last resort at best. Nobody should go in there, lest they disappear too. 

“Hey, you know what you didn’t tell me about? Your love life.” There’s a pep back in Marina’s step and she skips a few paces ahead of him. “How’d you know you liked guys?”

Ah, this again. Truth be told, Tanaka has known for quite a while, but he’s never had the time nor courage to act on it. 

Then again, he hasn’t had the time nor courage to much in his life at all. 

“Ah, well,” the salaryman’s…unused to discussing anything related to his sexuality or really emotional at all. But oddly, their peculiar band of festival contestants all seemed quite content with such taboo topics, and Tanaka doesn’t know how this came to be, but he’s quite content about it. “I’ve known probably since I was a child, maybe 11 or 13 or so…”

“Hm. I’ve known that I was a girl since I was a baby,” Marina muses, “I think I’ve also liked both girls and guys ever since I was a baby too. Like, it was never just one or the other, you know?”

Tanaka nods in response, the concept’s foreign to him, but coming from Marina, it’s entirely natural. 

“My mama never really discouraged anything I wanted to do or be, so I think that’s why it just made sense for me. I’m always going to do what I want or be who I wanna be. I’m really lucky like that, I’ve realized.”

Tanaka smiles at the girl. “I’ve always been taught that I need to find a wife have kids, continue the family bloodline. Not much deviation from that.” Though he wishes he had Marina’s supportive upbringing, Tanaka can’t find it in himself to be jealous. He’s just…happy that this girl was allowed to be herself and live when he couldn’t. “I wanted to leave Edo because of that. If I would end up disappointing my parents either way, I hoped that I could impress them by being successful somewhere else.” 

As the two passed the Prehevil gates, Tanaka looked back sadly. 

“Turns out I can’t impress them with anything I do. I think I’d end up disappointing my father especially anyway, so there’s not much that can be done,” Tanaka sighs, “either way, I was ‘too busy’ for a girlfriend or a wife or anything. That was my excuse.”

“…hm. My dad isn’t or…wasn’t great either.” Marina looks extremely dour, jaw set with a kind of hatred and regret. “I’ll never know for sure though. He’s…dead. He died during the festival .”

Tanaka’s blood freezes at the implication, and he rushes over to kneel by Marina’s side, hand gently brushing her shoulder.

“I…I don’t know. I-I feel like I could’ve saved him—he’s not a bad person, but I don’t think he should’ve… died , I—UGH“ Marina lets out a frustrated cry, and Tanaka can see tears prick her eyes. “I just wanted to see if he could change!” 

“Your father was one of the contestants?”

“No, no, he just…ugh, I don’t know. I hate thinking about it. I just…” she breaks out into warbling sobs, “I just wanted to see if he cares about me at all, and my mama died too so I wanted to visit him and maybe we could reconnect, but another contestant killed him and-and-and—!” Marina’s curled into a ball, knuckles trying and failing to keep her tears at bay. “I just wanted to see if he could love me at all. I’ll never know now.” 

Tanaka has wrapped his arms around Marina, letting her sorrows drain out into the evening to hopefully never hurt this girl ever again. Tanaka would risk life and limb to make sure Marina never has to go through such devastation ever again. 

She eventually quiets down, and Tanaka knows she’s recovered when she asks, “Hey, tell me more about your shitty dad.”

Tanaka humors her. “My father believed quite deeply in the traditional Edo work ethic, and I really believed that too ever since I was a kid. It’s the reason why I’ve never had a boyfriend or any relationship of any kind—I just never had the time because work was most important.” He smiles sadly at her. “Never even really had a friend either. I’m a sad guy, I know.”

Marina’s eyes water in sympathy, and she gently puts her hand in his. “I’m sorry, Tanaka,” she says even though she has nothing to apologize for. A pang of remorse echos through Tanaka’s heart seeing the girl even a little sad because of him. “If it makes you feel better, I’m your friend. And I’ll definitely make Levi your friend too, that guy!”

“Thank you, Marina, you’re my friend too.” Tanaka smiles genuinely at her, and he can see Marina’s expression begin to echo his. “That was the past, ever since this horrible ‘festival’ happened, I’ve actually made my first friends in a decade or so. Really.” He laughs at the irony of it all. The best thing that has ever happened to him was also the worst thing that ever happened to him.

“Wow,” she wrinkles her nose, “you really are a sad guy.” They laugh together, cracking jokes and swapping banter as they reach the camp, where Tanaka is immediately crushed by a large bear. 

Or, crushed in a large bear hug by Marcoh, but there’s no difference for the salaryman whose lungs have been robbed of air. Dimly, Tanaka can hear Marina giggling nearby.

“Marcoh, he’s not going anywhere!” The occultist tries to loosen Marcoh’s arms from their death grip, but she’s laughing too hard to be of any use. “Marcoh! He can’t breathe!” 

The boxer loosens his arms enough for Tanaka to inhale, but firm enough that he can’t move much besides that. 

“Marcoh!!! Free Tanaka!!! He’s my explorer buddy, get the fuck away!” She struggles a bit more before stepping back and crossing her arms coyly. “I will engrave something into your face if you don’t release him.” 

“Okay, okay.” Marcoh frees Tanaka as told but lingers a hand on the small of his back. It’s clear Marina notices by the quick dart of her eyes, but she otherwise pays no mind. 

Back in the train car, Karin and Henryk spread out photos they’ve taken across the floor, deciding which would make the most impact in a news story. Something about the artistic quality of tragedy balanced with a grace narrative—the two debate which to keep and develop and where to go next tomorrow. 

Marina has already taken her place by Levi’s side, and it’s clear the boy is relieved at her presence as his trembling is curbed just the smallest bit. His nails are bitten down past the quick, but he stops when Marina gently takes his hands and begins telling him about her day. 

August smiles up at Tanaka from where he’s sat next to the unconscious Bremen soldier, still breathing but still asleep. “Marcoh wanted to wait outside for you, so I took over for a bit. Seems like Moonless has taken a liking to him too! Don’t steal my girl away from me, Marcoh!” 

They all regroup over a meat pie, the ingredients found in the remainders of the Mayor’s Manor that Karin and Henryk plundered. They couldn’t find any traces of anyone else eating there, nor a trace of their lost friends. 

Tanaka’s really starting to lose hope now, but he puts on a brave face. For Olivia. For Marcoh. For everyone. 

Still, the stress and adrenaline rush that has been wearing on Tanaka, despite stress and adrenaline being his usual. He loosens his tie, and from the corner of his eye, catches Levi’s. 

“…do you like my tie, Levi?” 

The boy’s eyes widen in recognition, and he sputters for a few moments before quietly replying, “Uh-Uhm, yes, I just…never wore one before.” He buries his hands deeper in his pockets. 

Tanaka loosens the fabric enough to where he can slip it off his head. He shifts towards where Levi sits, looping the tie around the boy’s neck and securing it under the collar. After a few adjustments—ensuring the length was fine and it was perfectly in the middle—the salaryman pulled back and admired his work. 

Sure, army overalls weren’t the most flattering compliment to a black silk tie, but the way Levi beamed made it all worth it. Marina hugged the boy, squealing about how cute and how “professional” and “dashing” the boy looked, Henryk appraising in agreement. 

August rolls his eyes and tears off his scarf. “‘Dashing?!’ Oj, if you want to look ‘dashing,’ put this on. Come here, boy.” He flings Tanaka’s tie off Levi’s neck (the silk landing on Marcoh, who sheepishly hands it back with a red face) and ties the scarf handsomely. 

“No offense, Tanaka,” Marcoh leans into murmur, “it looks better than your tie.” Tanaka shoved him away in mock-indignation, and the whole crew burst into laughter. 

In the end, they all agree that the tie suits Tanaka, but August's scarf suits Levi better. Henryk remarks that it’s the complement of the colors—red is more remarkable than black—before Marina rolls her eyes and teases his lack of fashionable neckwear.

A flash briefly cuts through the darkness, and Karin winks behind her camera. “Not every picture needs to be a depressing-ass conspiracy,” she says. “I wanna keep some for the memories.” Tanaka hopes he’ll get a copy too. 

When they settle down for the night, Tanaka thinks back to his conversation with Marina and decides to settle down immediately next to Marcoh because, why not. They’ve gone through so much, and if Marcoh pushes him away…then Tanaka will still live regardless (even though the thought of Marcoh leaving terrifies him beyond belief). 

The boxer doesn’t push him away, however, and instead brings him closer, shifting so that Tanaka’s head rests on his bicep and his arm wraps comfortably around his waist. 

They lay in silence for a bit before Marcoh, in a hushed whisper, asks, “Can you pet my hair again?” 

Of course, Tanaka obliges. He falls asleep with his hair tangled in Marcoh’s hair. 

A sea of green, but…a soft green. Not burning like ice, but warm like a breeze. There is no malice, there is no “one,” but there is no “zero.” Everything is infinite. People are infinite. People are everything. 

The green is a gentle embrace, a wave flooding the consciousness into further and further obscurity…any thought is both amplified and dulled as it democratizes into the whole. 

There is no happiness nor sadness, only emptiness that stores a bottomless amount of emotions and feelings. 

It is perhaps the truest paradise: the truest loss of control. 

It’s all okay now. We’re all okay. Don’t worry anymore. I got to see my sister again, you need to go see your family too. 

We all need to move forward ourselves.

Chapter Text

“I have to see my sister. And you have to see your sister too, Marcoh. I know you get it.” 

Marcoh wakes up to a slightly numb arm, a slightly drooled-on shirt, and a very cute salaryman latched onto him like an octopus. Yesterday, he and Tanaka woke up suddenly at August’s call, but today he can appreciate him in the early morning sunlight.

Tanaka’s neutral expression is actually quite poised: lips pressed together, brows smartly placed, and dark eyes wise and contemplative. But Marcoh hasn’t seen much of this Tanaka—for the first day, the salaryman was almost constantly on the verge of tears, and fear colored his every move. 

Marcoh marvels for a moment how quickly he became close with Tanaka. It hasn’t even been a week he’s known the guy, but Marcoh’s watched him change so drastically that it feels like he’s known him for years. It’s kind of been this way for really all of the contestants—they’ve all bonded so deeply yet so quickly it’s almost giving them whiplash. 

He notes how Levi has become progressively more comfortable with having people close to them, becoming protective especially over Marina. Marcoh can get that feeling, but what surprised him was how Levi bonded so quickly with August, the hunter turning the boy’s affinity for firearms into something more productive than destructive. 

And speaking about August, though Marcoh hasn’t seen much of him, he seems far more lax and content than when he first met him. The older gentleman appears excited to share his life and knowledge with his friends rather than hide out alone with his dog, hoping to save the world. 

Henryk and Marina have stayed a ways away the same in attitude. They still speak beautifully, like artists about a painting, like dancers skipping across a stage, but it’s colored in darker tones now. They both are greatly disappointed in themselves. 

Karin has greatly mellowed out since Marcoh first met her: she’s more analytical, less impulsive, and far more observant. Whereas once the journalist would crash into any issue with fervor and a silver tongue, she now considers everything before she chooses to speak, asking questions to get the full picture of everything. Marcoh has no doubt she’ll become a top reporter and writer once they leave this hell hole.

Tanaka really became so much stronger. Not just physically, but truly mentally. He’s watched Tanaka’s gaze go from empty to fearful to focused and clear. 

He wants to protect that. 

Marcoh’s life has always revolved around surviving, ensuring his and his sister’s safety above anything else. What mattered most to him was his sibling, and anything outside of that was merely to ensure their survival and safety. 

So it’s kind of weird being with Tanaka. A good weird. He wants to hold the man and shower him with attention. He wants to learn everything there is to him, protect the new, beautiful Tanaka that has emerged from this horrible experience, a rose in a desert. But Marcoh’s never been that philosophical—he just wants to kiss his face. 

It’s a nice face too: Marcoh admires its angled structure and shapely nose. Tanaka’s handsome, if a bit constantly-exhausted-looking. There’s constant dark circles beneath his eyes, and his cheeks look sallower than they should be.

Marcoh kisses the man’s forehead (he would do more, but he doesn’t want to jostle him awake) before bringing him closer to his chest. Tanaka looks to be sleeping dreamlessly, and Marcoh hopes it stays that way for him. He’ll do anything to protect him.

The boxer lays there for a few more moments, flipping through memories and trying to not lose hope. He’s grateful Tanaka’s still by his side, but he misses when it was all three of them together. He misses Olivia’s cheer, trying her best to remain optimistic in the face of her dour circumstances, teasing Marcoh whenever he got too serious, and reassuring Tanaka any time he looked like he was going to piss himself in fear. 

And they all survived, but Olivia came to see her sister, that girl with the red shoes from the dream. She knew Reila was in there and would do anything to see her again. Marcoh…it was devastating to let Olivia go without them. He trusts that Abella will keep her safe while O’saa obliterates their foes, Daan making sure everyone is alive at the end of everything. Yet, he can’t help the pit of dread in his stomach if Olivia…did die, and he couldn’t do anything to save her.

But at the end of the day, Marcoh had to let her go. Olivia had to see Reila without him—she’d far grown out of his help. She probably didn’t need it in the first place but just liked his and Tanaka’s company, and that makes Marcoh all the more sad to see her go. Still, he understands. He understands with every breath and atom in his body that Olivia had to leave—for her sister. Because he would likely do the same. 

Olivia sacrificed herself to see her sister and ensure Marcoh could see his again. 

God, Marcoh fucking hopes she’s alive. 

He holds back his tears and frustration so as to not wake up Tanaka, his last dredge of hope in this tainted world. Luckily, the salaryman stays asleep as Marcoh pulls him even closer. 

Up until a banshee’s shriek tears through the train car, and Tanaka snaps awake.

Sounds of struggle can be heard from the next car over, and a voice Marcoh’s never heard before screeches “ What is your problem??!!!” 

Karin has already bolted up and nods at Marcoh to check out the commotion, who helps lead a sleepy Tanaka over to the door.

The journalist dramatically slams it open, greeted by the sight of the Bremen soldier struggling under the weight of August, who’s got to soldier hogtied, face pressed into the ground. 

The Bremen soldier looks even more scandalized, wrestling even harder against his bonds and August, to no avail. The hunter greets the three with a jaunty “Hallå!” as if nothing out of the ordinary happened.  

Karin doesn’t seem as…immediately disdainful of the soldier as Marcoh expected (especially compared to him. He would have punched the soldier by now if Tanaka wasn’t resting on his shoulder at the moment). Instead, she kneels down to his face and demands, “What’s your name?” 

“Pav-Pav-Pavel Yudin! L-Lieutenant Pav!! God, will you get this guy off of me?!”

“August, don’t get off of him.” 

“Ja, I wasn’t planning on. Sorry, Pav.” 

Pav lets out a frustrated cry, but he stops struggling. 

“Why did you attack the Kaiser?”

…what? 

“Because he’s my enemy! I hate him! He’s destroyed everything in my life!” Pav’s anger coats his words in sandpaper and agony. 

Tanaka tilts his head. “So, why are you part of his army?”

“Because,” Pav seethes, “then I could one day face him down, one-on-one and deliver the killing blow myself. My family died because of him! I had to kill him!” 

“And you knew he was coming to Prehevil?” August asks. He looks…surprised. A bit impressed, almost. 

“Yeah, it was obvious! The Kaiser’s fucking obsessed with this place—I tracked him through Prehevil, but when I finally had my duel….” Pav stops moving and thunks his head on the floor with another antagonized groan. “Ugh. That guy just isn’t human. He fucking ate that bullet.”

“I know,” Karin huffs, “I saw.” She nods at August. “You can get off of him now.” The older gentleman moves, but Pav stays face planted into the ground. Alright. 

“I figured that… thing wasn’t human,” August says, “but I hadn’t expected him to take bullets and strike back as if nothing happened.”

“Pav’s shot went straight through the Kaiser’s head, but nothing happened,” Karin explains. “Why are you a soldier for Bremen then, if you hate them so much?” 

“…it was the only way I could get my way to see the Kaiser, to get closer and kill him myself one day.” 

Karin hums. “That’s a pretty stupid strategy, but I get why you didn’t think you could do much else. Whatever, the Kaiser’s probably dead now, and we’re looking for our friends. You’re gonna help.” 

“He is?” Tanaka and Marcoh jinx.

“There are probably locations we don’t know about that Pav does,” Karin says, “He did track Kaiser through the city without detection, and chances are, he knows areas that none of us have ever been before.” She looks at Pav and lifts his head by his hair. “You’re coming with me. Don’t do anything funny.” 

Pav huffs, “Why, of course a woman like you would prefer dinner fir—“ Karin drops his head with a thunk on the ground. She sighs casually, lip curled downward in disdain. 

“Fucking hate twinks…wait, actually,” she sharply turns towards Tanaka. “You’re okay, Tanaka. You’re the only ‘good one.’”

August roars with laughter, and Tanaka smiles in amusement. Marcoh feels himself itch slightly from a heat in his neck. 

“Thank you? I think?” 

“It’s a compliment.” She shrugs. “Someone wake up Henryk, I’m starving.”

Brunch was…awkward. Marina seemed especially uncomfortable around Pav, tucking herself closer to Karin and Tanaka. Much of the conversation was between Henryk and August, chatting idly about venison and meals that could be made purely from the earth around them.

Marcoh still leaned over and chatted quietly with Tanaka, but when they noticed Pav’s icy blue eyes on them, the two pulled away. An unpleasant experience overall, so Marcoh was quite relieved to have the meal ‘ended’ with Karin’s call.

“We still have these locations to cover,” she says, pointing out the various untreaded regions on the map. “I’m going with Pav to check out other areas we haven’t considered; the rest of you figure out where to go.”

Marcoh…yesterday was fine once Tanaka came back, but it was agonizing being alone without the man in sight. Marcoh kept pacing back and forth, playing with August’s oversized wolf to keep him from running into Prehevil and keeping Tanaka to himself, and really, it’s their last day here. 

So, he purposefully crowds into Tanaka’s space and wraps an arm around his waist, onlookers be damned.

“…okay then,” Karin clears her throat. “I guess you two have dibs on where to search.” 

“Forest.” 

“Okay, Marcoh and Tanaka get the southern area. Any other reservations?”

Marina sits up from Levi’s side and makes eye contact with August, who nods. “August and I want to go check out the north. I was there with Tanaka yesterday, so I know where we left off.”

“Levi and I can check out the west then,” Henryk nods, smiling at the boy. Levi agrees with a quick nod.

Moonless steps out to finish the meal’s leftovers and she, Marcoh, and Tanaka wave good luck to the other contestants as they prepare to search their own area. 

There isn’t much ground to cover, truthfully; August and Levi searched most of this area already, and Marcoh has no doubts that they searched every nook and cranny for a sign of anything. Yet, nothing. 

“So,” Tanaka begins as they dig through the lake area, “have you thought more about what we’re—uhm, pardon me..what you’re going to do after all this?” 

“Hm,” Marcoh thinks, “I want to see my sister; that’s what’s more important than anything. I hope she’s safe, but I can’t leave here until I know Olivia is too.” Tanaka nods. “What about you, Tanaka?”

“I said ‘I don’t know’ earlier,” he mulls, “but I know I’ll probably just have to go to work. Deal with being gone for four days without a word. Live my sad, boring life again.” Tanaka sighs, but he speaks lightly, if with melancholy. 

“…do you have to?” The thought of being away from Tanaka…for forever…it scares Marcoh. 

“I feel like I need to. What else can I do? I haven’t really any skills outside of my job. No hobbies either, really.” 

“Not even when you were a kid?” 

“Marina asked me something like that yesterday, you know?” Tanaka looks up at him, and the corner of his eyes crinkle in amusement. Marcoh finds himself suddenly very sweaty again. “I used to do lots of puzzles. I still do, actually, but when I was young, I was the best at problem solving and logic out of my classmates since I just saw everything like a puzzle.

‘That went away when I got older, and I didn’t really have time for puzzles anymore. When I traveled to Europa for my job, I kind of forgot about anything about me. Office work is so fucking boring, Marcoh. It’s just the same little, menial things over and over and over again! Never do it.” Tanaka chuckles.

The language makes Marcoh grin. “Don’t really plan on. I didn’t go to school anyway. Had to take care of my sister since I was…10? Yeah, 10.”

“Marcoh!” Tanaka’s eyes have screwed up in empathy. “10?!”

“Yeah…I can’t remember what happened to my parents, but I just know that she needed to be safe.” 

“…is that why you’re so protective of Olivia?”

Marcoh grunts. “Yeah, sure.” He rolls his eyes but smiles despite himself, relishing in Tanaka’s snickers behind a palm. “I’m protective over you too, Tanaka.” 

“Really?” The salaryman teases. This area is clear and peaceful, so they move onto the next. “I hadn’t noticed.” 

“I hide it really well. You, on the other hand…” 

“Yes, Marcoh?” 

He shrugs nonchalantly. “You cuddled up next to me last night. Put your face right in my pecs. I had drool on my shirt this morning.”

Tanaka sputters, but he’s still smirking cleverly. “Marcoh, you asked me to pet you.” 

The boxer has nothing to say to that, so he just reddens and looks away. 

The silence between them is comfortable, if a bit flirtatious with how they openly ogle each other. Marcoh notes that Tanaka’s ass looks pretty good without his suit jacket on, and he tells him that he noticed when he originally trained Tanaka days ago. The salaryman swats his arm in reprimand, but appears extraordinarily flattered by the comment.

In the back of Marcoh’s mind, he thinks about how much Olivia would tease him now. She noticed his sidelong glances and constant lingering, how he treated her just slightly different from Tanaka. 

Marcoh wonders if he and Tanaka share some kind of mental link, because when he makes eye contact with him again, he knows they’re both thinking about Olivia. 

“She would be laughing if she saw us now.”

“Mhm.” 

“…I hope she is doing well.”

“Mhm.” 

The rest of the search is unfruitful, even with Moonless’ nose to assist. There’s no plaid or bright yellow scrap of fabric, no bloodied wrenches. And nothing, nothing of Olivia’s. 

Marcoh thinks about what he felt two days ago now, “Olivia sacrificed herself for us.” It was a conclusion borne from frantic logic for him—her disappearance, the lifting of the mist, her absence—but he’s starting to think that he may have been correct. Maybe that stupid horned clown thing from his dreams finally got all the blood he needed and left, leaving Olivia, Abella, O’saa, and Daan to just rot behind those vault doors. 

His hands clench into a fist unconsciously, and Tanaka takes it in his own. Marcoh eases, if only so he can hold Tanaka’s hand and feel sane again. 

“We don’t know for sure, Marcoh. Don’t give up yet.” 

He doesn’t want to give up; he just wants her back. He wants to find every god that did his life, Tanaka’s, Olivia’s, and every one of his friends’ lives wrong and beat them to a pulp. He just wants to know, for sure, that those he loves will be safe. 

“Tanaka,” Marcoh squeezes his hand, “can I kiss you?” He wants…he just wants to feel Tanaka against him, know that he’s safe and his. 

Tanaka faces him, and rising to his toes and pulling Marcoh down a few inches, he pressed his lips to his. 

Their teeth click, and Tanaka’s lips are chapped. It’s clear they’re both untalented and unused to this, but Tanaka tastes like the berry spread they had this morning, and he’s warm and smiling against Marcoh. 

The kiss is relatively short, but it has Marcoh winded and dazed. He’s never felt more clear in his head and never so…happy as he has to see Tanaka smile and wrap his arms around his neck. 

“We’re both very bad at this,” Tanaka comments, “but that was very…”

“Good?”

“Very.” 

They head back to the train, holding hands and trading kisses like they’re teenagers in love, when really they’re pathetic 30 somethings who have been given the chance to live for once instead of merely survive. They don’t know what they’ll be doing after this, but it’s unspoken between them that they aren’t leaving each other. No, never. 

Tanaka’s lived an honest life, while Marcoh’s been thrown into the decrepit pits of it, but none of that matters right now. They’ll figure it out together; if Prehevil, if Needles, if Rher and his servants didn’t beat them, then what will? 

They rest by the fire pit Henryk dug out days ago, Moonless curling up by their side. It’s somber and melancholy, but at least they have each other. 

The silence is broken when a frantic Levi comes sprinting to them, eyes crazed and pointing back from where he came.

“Marina-August—they found something!! They found something! You need to come—“

“Let’s go.” Marcoh grabs Tanaka’s wrist, and they (plus Moonless) follow Levi to the tower in their dreams, the rest of the group already in a circle surrounding something on the ground. 

Tanaka heaved from his poor endurance, but Marcoh helped him upright as the group parted slightly and saw…a head?

“—And that worm O’saa! For Sylvian’s sake—for a pupil, he really had a tongue on him! I gave him my illustrious advice and direction, and he would just say some smartass shit back like he knew better than me!”

“So that’s why he was always whispering to himself.” Marcoh notes to himself. 

“Yeah, that’s for sure,” Karin sneers, “O’saa didn’t even want to argue; he just wanted to see he was smarter than you in a verbal beatdown. Ask me how I know.”

“Bitch, he had you figured out from the beginning. That's not even an O'saa issue, that's all you, maggot,” the head-thing said (? It’s mouth didn’t move, but Marcoh could hear him in his mind). “Thanks in part to me, of course. Technically I had you figured out from the beginning: I called you an 'arrogant piece of filth.'” Karin looks slightly insulted, but she can't really disagree.

“…you really are O’saa’s master, huh?” Marina chimes in, brow raised in amusement. 

“If by that you mean I’m him but way better, then yes. By me, you all have no idea how cathartic it was to see that red-headed hunk over there shoot that worm and seal his magic!”

August nods with his signature laugh.

“Good job, Gus, he deserved it.” 

Marcoh can’t follow what’s going on—why are they all in an O’saa insulting get together?—and looks to August for an explanation.

The older gentlemen notices and sighs. “Marcoh, Tanaka, meet Nas’hrah, the—uhhh…’Bringer of Doom and Terror’ and master of yellow mages like O’saa.” 

“You there, sad guy from Edo! I tried to take over that place once in the 8th century, but y’know, I felt too generous and didn’t.”

Tanaka raises a brow, and his eyes indicated recognition. 

“I created a place better than it though. Yansa Aryuaban. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.”

“Yes…?” 

“In any case,” August cuts in, “Nas’hrah knows what happened to our companions. He barely escaped through what remains of his magic.” 

Marina raises her hand. “I heard his voice in my head since last night, and so did August. We found him on the top of the tower.” She looks a bit regretful about that, oddly enough. “Apparently…” 

“All your companions have merged with ‘The Machine God,’ Logic.”

“What?”

“The Kaiser, that fucking blonde, bitch—fucking—bastard Le’garde built a god to rival the old and new, for humanity to ascend using their own ingenuity. I’ll even admit, for a stupid fucking maggot like him, it was an ingenious idea. You all played into his hands—he got Logic online thanks to you.”

Somber silence emanates from the circle, and Marcoh can feel himself…losing himself. Tanaka’s hand grips him harder. 

“Hey, at least he’s not ‘The Machine God.’ Some girl got there before him, thank All-mer. But even after your companions tried to shut it off, Logic opened and they all got absorbed. Schlurped.

‘There was no fucking way I was about to let myself ‘ascend’ into some weird collective conscious green soup shit, so I noped the fuck outta there with what remaining magic I have left. All your little worm friends joined, and they’re all in some shared mind network thing now.”

Karin looks pissed off. “They technically aren’t dead, but they’re not…alive as they were. Apparently, they’ll never die since they’re merged with a literal god , but…they aren’t themselves anymore. Or whatever, I don’t know.” She groans. “I really hate this.”

“At least you’re less stupid now, maggot. When you first started ejaculating your shitty theories, ohhhh, boy, I had never seen such ignorant idiocy . How do you have the audacity? Could you spare some for me?” 

Karin ignores him, though she does scoff a little with a tiny grin. Nas’hrah’s rude, but it reminds Marcoh of O’saa’s teasing. 

“I was right, then.” He says. “Olivia did sacrifice herself for us. So we could all live now.”

Tanaka presses a hand to his chest. “Marcoh—“ 

“I’m okay, Tanaka.” He’s really not, but he can’t process his emotions right now. “It’s fine.” 

Everyone looks like they can’t bear the thought of their companions gone. Levi’s crying, burying his face in Marina’s tearful embrace. Henryk and Karin look bitter and hateful, their silent rage saying more than words ever could as August and Pav look on in empathy. 

“They all sacrificed themselves,” August says, “for the betterment of humanity. Not only for us, but for everyone. A new god ushers in a new age, and if it was our companions that are a part of it, I believe we will witness a better future for all of us.” 

“Oi, Gus,” Nas’hrah sneers, “‘better future’ my missing ass if he’s still alive.” 

“Who—?”

“Kaiser.” August says. “Or, Le’garde, as he was once known. Apparently, an ancestor of mine too was laid in waste to his cruelty and sought to kill him, but someone revived the bastard and he still lives today.” 

“I’m going to kill him,” Pav says, tone grave and crazed, “over and over and over again until every little bit of him is gone from this world.” 

Nas’hrah laughs cruelly, “Good luck, maggot, you’re gonna need it! You already failed once, but hey, second times the charm!” 

“In any case, my friends,” August’s voice cuts off any retort Pav may have had, “I know what I will be doing after we part. Moonless and I will continue to hunt for this fiend, and I won’t rest until he’s gone from this world. That was my purpose for coming here, and it is my purpose to live. You all…return to your normal lives. There is nothing left here for us. Let us all head back to the train—tomorrow, we all return to our normal lives.” 

The walk back is silent, not awkward but certainly tense and stifled. Marcoh still feels…cold and empty on the inside. He still can’t comprehend anything, anything that just happened. Should he feel…happy for Olivia? She’s benefiting humanity, like she has always done. But…she’s not ‘Olivia’ anymore, is she? Can he mourn someone who is immortal? Marcoh wants to cry, but he’s caught up in so many emotions that all he can do is…he doesn’t know.

He looks to the side at Tanaka, whose eyes are pricked with tears. He’s taken his glasses off, wiping eyes with his sleeve and sobbing quietly to himself, and Marcoh figures out exactly what he wants to do. He stops walking, Tanaka pausing in confusion to look back at him, and presses a kiss to his temple, “I’m still here,” he says with the gesture. 

Tanaka looks back at him and smiles. He gives Marcoh a quick peck on the lips as thanks, and they’re both slightly embarrassed to hear Marina squeal an “I told you so! I knew it would happen!” to an amused Levi. Ah well, at least they’re in a better mood. 

Karin scoffs and rolls her eyes as Henryk gives them a teasing thumbs-up of approval. Oddly, Pav looks curt and embarrassed, but Marcoh can’t bring himself to care, especially with how infectious August’s laugh is.

“God, all you pieces of shit are gay. It’s like I’m back in 1590. Fucking queers.” Nas’hrah retorts, but it just makes everyone laugh even harder. 

Back by the train, the team regresses back into melancholy. They all dig small graves and put the few belongings they have of them in—a button from Abella’s overalls, one of O’saa’s bangles, a spare scalpel of Daan’s, and the remaining herbs Olivia picked them, among other things. Karin takes a picture of the open caskets before they are hidden within the dirt. They say their prayers and trade their tears as over dinner, they bond over their memories of their companions. The good, the bad, the funny, as all of it is furiously documented with writing and photos. 

As their hunger subsides and their sorrows fade, they discuss their future endeavors. Karin has clearly learned a lot, and Marcoh can see her questioning herself in the same way Daan used to critique her. When she speaks, it’s no longer as angry and standoffish but softer and more considerate—a tone unique to Abella—with Karin’s usual aggressive, sardonic edge. 

The journalist plans to take Levi and Marina under her wing—they’re still effectively children, and without a home, they have no place left to go. Karin acknowledges that she’s no Abella, but damn if she isn’t going to try helping these kids heal in her memory. Henryk’s going to stay with her for a while as well, continuing his work as a chef and sampling local delicacies while helping Karin write the Book. 

A book compiling everything they went through here in Prehevil, everything about the Festival of Termina, everything about Gods, everything about their control, their mutilation, everything. Karin says she doesn’t know what she’ll do once she finishes it, but she needs to do this. She needs to share this with the world and make sure everyone in it knows the danger of the gods, knows that their influence may fade to the background but still remain ever present. 

Nas’hrah scoffs at her goal, “lofty for a mortal,” he says, but he seems to be impressed that she’s figured out so much. Henryk says that once they’re finished with the Book, they’ll send everyone a copy—to keep them sane and remember that yes, this happened—before he’ll move on with his life and travel the world for its greatest tastes. 

“Thank god,” Karin smirks, “I hate twinks.” Henryk and Pav both roll their eyes.

“Same, honestly,” Nas’hrah appraises.

Pav’s eyes keep darting between August and Nas’hrah, and he says that he’d like to continue hunting down the Kaiser till his last breath. It’s not surprising, the man’s already sacrificed everything for that goal, and August gives him a nod that he can tag along with him and the wizard. Marcoh hopes they’ll catch him. 

Marcoh just says he plans to go to Rondon and meet up with his sister, but other than that, he’s not sure. Tanaka laments about the meeting he’s missed, but says that he should probably find a new, less dehumanizing job anyway. He knows he'll travel to Rondon with Marcoh, but other than that, he doesn't quite know yet. 

“I wish you two well,” Karin says, “you guys are our power couple. Now, you better invite us to the wedding, you hear?” Everyone echoes the sentiment, to their embarrassment. 

Night falls, and while everyone else settles into the train car for an early rise tomorrow, Tanaka and Marcoh stay outside. Marcoh cried earlier when ‘burying’ Olivia, and he wants to stay close to her memory for as long as he can. 

It’s chilly outside, but Marcoh can’t care when Tanaka’s pressed to his side, snickering as Marcoh kisses his forehead for the hundredth time that day. When they settle into a comfortable position, Marcoh finally speaks. 

“She’s okay.”

“…yes,” Tanaka agrees. 

"…hm. I’m happy. But, I’m still sad she’s gone.” 

“Me too.” 

“…”

“…”

“Do you think…she’s happy?”

“I don’t know, Marcoh. I don’t think she’s even…a person anymore. She’s a part of a god now.” Tanaka pauses to think for a moment. “But I think she’s happy.”

“Hm.”

“I don’t know, Marcoh. I’m sorry.”

“No…I think you’re right. She likes helping people and being free. She can do that as a god. I think you’re right, Tanaka.”

“I hope so.” He sighs and cuddles closer. “…do you want me to pet you again?”

“Yes.” 

“Okay,” Tanaka rolls his eyes teasingly but obliges. When he looks at Marcoh, the boxer comes in for a kiss, and the hand in his hair becomes tighter. 

Any time their skin makes contact, Marcoh can feel an electricity spark through him from that point, and he’s come to crave that feeling. He’s seen drug addicts on the streets of Vatican City, and he could see himself spiraling into withdrawal if he was deprived of Tanaka for too long. 

He can’t get enough—he reaches down with one hand and pulls Tanaka by his thigh closer to him. The salaryman gasps, and Marcoh is briefly shocked that he elicited this reaction in Tanaka. 

They pull away (not before Marcoh finds out how nice it is to nibble on Tanaka’s lower lip), gasping and flushed, the night’s chill a mere fantasy of the past. Marcoh becomes…distracted a little, looking at Tanaka’s bruised lips before admiring his flushed cheeks and wide eyes. The two stare at each other for a bit, not knowing what to say, before descending into giggles. 

They don’t need words between them, not when Marcoh presses Tanaka’s face close into his chest, and Tanaka keeps petting him as sleep lulls his mind. Despite knowing each other in so little time, Marcoh would bet that, based on everything he’s seen this week, there’s some kind of supernatural link between them. Or not, he doesn’t actually really care, but he can feel genuine love and admiration flow through him every time he so much as looks at Tanaka.

Still, “I love you,” he says. Because it’s true. Because he can say it, and he wants to. 

“I love you too.” Tanaka echoes, words muffled by Marcoh’s chest. They didn’t need to say it, but the salaryman’s slight snickering, dampened by his circumstances, make the gesture worth it. 

Tanaka is worth it. Everything.

“I found her, I found Reila. My sister. Thank you for everything. I’ll see you soon. Take care!”

There's some pink in the sea of green, and somehow, he knows he's okay. Everything's okay. Pink and green go well together.

Chapter Text

Marcoh sees a bright flash from beneath his eyelids before hearing a loud click. He shoots up awake, scouting for any potential danger, only to see a bemused Henryk staring down at him with Karin’s camera. 

The chef fixes him with a cordial look. “Awww, the pose you were in just a second ago was perfect. Spare a few more shots?” He winks and puts the camera to his eye humorously.

Marcoh can’t think of a response fast enough, or even at all. He merely blushes and glances off to the side, looking down at a still-sleeping Tanaka, arms grasping the area that Marcoh once occupied. For a moment, he’s transfixed by the salaryman, his dark hair ruffled, glasses removed, looking so peaceful. 

The moment is ruined when the camera goes off again, Henryk appraising the photo as “One of my best works to date! And I’ve taken a lot of photos these days.” 

“Go away, Henryk.”

“I’ll make sure to send you two a copy once it’s developed.” 

“…thanks.” 

“Why of course!” The chef bows theatrically before heading towards the train car. “Ah, one more thing. After breakfast, we’re all heading home. So, do whatever you want before then, I suppose.”

There’s nothing Marcoh really wants to do in particular. Other than cuddling with Tanaka and whatnot, he’d rather spend time with his friends than anything else. Cuddling Tanaka takes precedence right now, however, so Marcoh lays back down on the grass and wraps his arms around the smaller man. 

“…you’re really warm, you know?” the salaryman murmurs and shifts in his arms. Marcoh feels himself grow hot and loosens himself from him, only to have Tanaka click his tongue and move with him. “That’s not a bad thing! You’re very comfortable, Marcoh. Stop moving, please, I want to sleep a little more.”

The boxer obeys and rests his chin on top of Tanaka’s head. “…were you awake when Henryk was here?” 

“You moved, and it was cold. So, yes.” 

“…sorry.” 

“Yes, you should be. Make up for it.” 

Marcoh rolls over Tanaka, caging him with his arms and assaulting him with kisses until the man is red-faced, wheezing with laughter, and desperately trying to push Marcoh off to no avail. Tanaka tries to thrash Marcoh off, but the boxer just gently pins Tanaka’s wrists to his sides, leaving him defenseless. 

“Okay, okay, I give up! I forgive you! I forgive you!” Tanaka’s pressed his face to the side, and Marcoh can feel his hand trying to pull out from under his grasp. “I can’t even see you when you kiss me—at least let me get my glasses.”

“…no.” Marcoh smirks. He presses a kiss by Tanaka’s eye, just on top of a sharp cheekbone. “Can’t kiss you as easily. You don’t get to see.” He blows a raspberry into the column of Tanaka’s throat, just to see him squirm. 

“Marcoh!!!” The salaryman can’t hold in his snickering, and Marcoh realizes that he must be ticklish there. Interesting. He files that information away for later, just in case.

“Oi!” Karin’s voice—gravelly from sleep but powerful as usual—interjects, cutting through the early morning. Marcoh hears her footsteps approach. “I thought you guys were the responsible ones—there are children here, you know!” She jabs thumb over her shoulder, and the accusing, indignant insults of Levi and Marina echo behind her. “Wash up. We’re headed out as soon as we eat. Henryk’s done.” 

Marcoh hands Tanaka’s his glasses and hat, and they wash up by the river before joining the rest of the group. Henryk’s made shakshuka at Nas’hrah’s suggestion (more like command), and they all enjoy their last meal together before they all part ways. 

It’s sad. Agonizingly so. It’s been not even a week, yet Marcoh feels like he has never been better understood by anyone else than the people sitting around him right now. He feels like he’ll never understand anyone as deeply as them. It’s like a part of his soul will leave him, never to return, today. 

He doesn’t want to lose more friends, but he knew this time would come. Everyone did, and they dread when the time comes that this will all be a memory, nostalgic but not present. Already, it feels like they’re living through a memory yet trying to savor every moment remaining.

“Y’know, I was wondering,” Marina tilts her head inquisitively, “How are we going to get home without the conductor?” 

“Me, maggot. I’m your conductor.” Nas’hrah chewed through an egg Pav had dropped into his mouth. 

The soldier rolled his eyes. “And you’re piloting with what hands, pray tell?”

“You’ll be tellin’ me in prayers if you keep questioning me, bimbo. I’m conducting; you’re the one who’s driving. If we die, it’s your fault, not mine.” 

“Yes,” Pav sighs, “ I’m conducting. I learned how to pilot jeeps, planes, and various other vehicles when working my way into the lieutenant position.” The soldier looks oddly embarrassed at that admission. “Ugh, all the shit I did to get there…only to fail at the last moment. Pathetic.”

“Your words, not mine,” Nas’hrah snides. 

August pats a reassuring hand on Pav’s shoulder. “We’ll get him next time.”

“If you maggots don’t, I swear to All-Mer I will incinerate you both and then myself.” 

Karin chuckles. “I’ll keep an eye out for him myself. That bastard deserves to rot in the deepest pits of hell. Anything I hear from news circles, I’ll let you guys know as soon as possible.” 

“That would be much appreciated, Miss Sauer.” 

Marcoh doesn’t really have much to add onto this conversation, but he keeps in mind to punch any Bremen sympathizers or Kaiser supporters he sees. He turns to Levi, “What do you plan on doing now?”

The boy looks…uncomfortable by the question, and Marcoh feels guilty upon asking. Still, Levi contemplates for a moment before stammering out, “I-I don’t really know yet. I think I wanna think a little more before I decide…plus I needa…get rid of my… issues …before I can really do anything on my own.” 

“I’ll get you help, Levi,” Karin solidly assures. “You aren’t alone in this, and you can spend as much time with me as you need figuring it out. If you need any help, I’m here, and Henryk…can help too, I guess.” The chef in question rolls his eyes but nods in agreement. 

“I’m not going back to school for a little bit so I’ll be there too!” Marina pipes up. She probably doesn’t even need to go to school, what with all the occult magic she’s learned in just these few days. The girl turns to Tanaka, “Do you know what you want to do now, Mr. Kida ?”

It looks like Tanaka’s done some thinking since yesterday evening, and he swallows what’s in his mouth before saying, “I think that once Marcoh and I are in Rondon, I’ll call my father and tell him that I’m quitting the family business…assuming that I haven’t already been fired.”

“Really? Wow!” 

“Mhm. Then I’ll probably try to get a new job. Something hopefully less depressing.” 

Marina giggles. “Any ideas yet, Mr. Kida?” 

“I could just become a banker or another accountant if I wanted, but I think I’ll go back to school and finish my law degree. Maybe start my own business for something. I’m not sure yet, but I think I could do it.” 

Marcoh takes his hand and smiles at him confidently. “I know you can do it.” 

Tanaka looks breathless. 

“Oh, get a room.” Nas’hrah bemoans. Despite the beheaded wizard’s sour reaction, everyone else in the circle laughs at the remark, knowing that moments like this are getting fewer and far between. 

In that moment, Marcoh feels his heart strings sing in happiness and melancholy. He’s going to miss this all…so much. They are all. 

Levi and Marina finished their food first, running off to give Moonless her goodbye pets. Everyone joins in one by one, before saying goodbye to the good girl and heading towards their last few moments together. 

The train ride is silent. There’s nothing much to talk about anymore, and they’re all comfortable with each other to simply relax and enjoy their company. It’s horribly bittersweet, and Marcoh has to pull Tanaka a little closer every time he feels like crying. 

Karin, Marina, Levi, and Henryk are the first to go, but not before they all swap hugs and promise to phone each other whenever possible. After all, Karin has a book to write, and she assures everyone that they’ll be the first to receive a copy. 

August kneels down by Levi and ties his scarf around the boy’s neck. “Keep it,” he says, “it suits you.” 

Levi’s tears well up, and he hugs the older gentleman, promising to take care of it and letting August know that they’ll go hunting together again one day, he swears. 

Marcoh and Tanaka are antsy—there’s an unspoken fear between them that they can’t be as public about their relationship as they could in Prehevil, but Marcoh reassures Tanaka that they’ll be okay. Even if someone finds out, if the Rher or Per’kele couldn’t kill them, then who can? 

When it’s their time to leave, Pav exits the conductor’s car and shakes hands with both men, a catlike grin on his face. “Hope I can be like you one day,” he tells Tanaka, winking and waggling his eyebrows mischievously. 

August wraps them both in a bear hug, lifting them both off the ground and squeezing the air out of their lungs. “We’ll see you again, boys! Invite me to the wedding! Or, if you can’t have one, let me know when you need one—I can officiate!” And with August’s signature roar of laughter and a hefty pat on the back, Tanaka and Marcoh turn their backs on the train and towards the future. 

Their clothes are dirty, and though parting with their friends is one of the hardest things they’ve ever done, everything’s never been so clear. Everything’s never been so uncertain, and there’s an excitement to that. So long as Tanaka’s by his side, Marcoh thinks, he’ll be okay. And if Tanaka’s bright grin towards him is anything to go by, the feeling is mutual. 

Marcoh feels Tanaka’s hand squeeze his own one final time before letting go and stepping forward into their new lives. 

“Let’s go?” 

“Let’s go.”