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Isagi really likes a boy. He has a crush, a love interest, a future husband in mind, if you will. Isagi has never liked a boy before, so while it’s new and exciting, it’s also confusing. It’s even more confusing when said boy hates his guts.
Isagi really doesn’t know why his heart chose this boy, yet at the same time he can’t imagine falling for anyone else. Alexis Ness, said crush, has everything Isagi finds attractive in a person. Nice smile, pretty eyes, friendly (when he wants to be), nice thighs, and really fucking good at soccer. Ness might be a little crazy too, but turns out Isagi is into that as well. It’s a struggle.
Here’s the full picture: Isagi really likes Ness, and Ness despises him. Admittedly, him and Ness don’t get along, and part of that is his fault. He probably shouldn’t have called him a suckerfish or boy toy, but when he’s hopped up on adrenaline, anything can come out of his mouth. It’s a curse - one that he isn’t fixing anytime soon.
Anyway.
Ness really doesn’t like Isagi, but too bad for him because Isagi isn’t one to give up. He has an ego now, and that allows him to chase after the things (or people) he wants. He will woo Ness into falling for him and successfully get a boyfriend. He won’t lose Ness.
Because Isagi Yoichi really hates losing.
1. Gift giving
Blue lock doesn’t have many options when it comes to giving gifts. Any merchandise is tacky with the Blue Lock logo slapped onto it, so that’s out of the question. He can't go out and buy anything since it's against the rules to leave, and he'd rather die than lose his spot in here. Isagi wants his first gift to Ness to be something special, something from his heart. He gets the perfect idea while eating in the cafeteria one day.
Food.
He loves food, specifically sweet things, and he has a feeling Ness loves sweets too.
(Ness does, after he asks a few Bastard München players who don’t hate him.)
He goes to Ego and Anri and has to put aside his own ego for a few minutes to beg them to let him have some kintsuba. He can even make it by himself! He just needs the ingredients and a couple hours in the kitchen. After some begging and an agreement to clean the toilets for a week (which he internally screams about but it’s for Ness so he doesn’t voice his distress), Ego agrees to let him make his kintsuba.
Anri, the angel that she is, helps him make his dessert. He has a feeling she suspects he has a plan for this kintsuba, but she doesn’t say anything. Isagi greatly appreciates her silence and her help, because without her, he’s sure his kintsuba would’ve been ruined in some way. He isn’t the best in the kitchen, but for Ness, he’d try.
And try he did - the kintsuba was ready and looked perfect!
Now the most difficult part: giving it to Ness. This is difficult for a number of reasons, but the main one is that the other boy is very rarely alone. He's always glued to Kaiser’s side, and when he isn’t, he’s glued to another Bastard München players side. So Isagi has two options: wait for Ness to be alone, or give him his gift in front of other people.
He ends up going with option two since he’s impatient (and is secretly afraid he’ll wait too long and chicken out). He clutches the wrapped up kintsuba in his hands as he makes his way to Ness on shaky feet. Today it’s just him and Kaiser eating together in the cafeteria, which makes this a little less intimidating. They’re also sitting away from everyone else, so hopefully no one pays attention to what is about to happen.
Kaiser notices him before Ness, sadly. He smirks and places his elbow on the table, using his hand to prompt his chin on it. Isagi glares at him, while Ness continues to ignore him. “Yoichi, what a pleasant surprise,” Kaiser says. That gets Ness to finally look at him, and all he receives is a glare from the brunette. Isagi bites his lower lip, hoping to wipe away that look of hatred soon. “Come here to admit defeat in person and become my loyal subject?”
“In your fucking dreams,” he growls out. He takes a deep breathe to calm himself, not wanting to sound too angry when he’s speaking to Ness. They aren’t on the field, so he can control his brain to mouth filter perfectly.
You can do this Yoichi!
“I’m here for Ness.”
Kaiser’s smirk drops and a look of shock replaces his usual smug facade. Ness looks shocked too, and Isagi silently celebrates the fact that he managed to actually wipe away the previous look of hatred. Good start. “Me?”
“You,” he says. He holds out the kintsuba. “I made you some kintsuba.”
Ness blinks. Once, twice - then looks down at the dessert. “You made me…kensuva?”
“Kintsuba,” he pronounces, “it’s a Japanese dessert. It’s my favorite dessert, and since you like sweets too, I thought it would be a good gift to give. So, here.”
Ness doesn’t grab the gift. Instead, he continues to stare at it in awe. “…Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why would you make me this?”
Ah. That’s a good question - one he isn’t ready to answer yet. Not when Ness hasn’t been fulled woo’d. He needs more time. “I wanted to.”
“But why?”
“Because I wanted to!” he pouts. He shoves the kintsuba into Ness’s face. “Just take it already!”
Ness huffs but doesn’t say anything as he grabs the gift. Isagi watches on, slightly nervous, as Ness unwraps the kintsuba. Kaiser leans over to examine the dessert as well. “It looks…good,” Ness says. He looks up at Isagi. “And it’s not poisoned?”
Isagi pouts and glares at the boy. He’s lucky he’s so pretty or he would’ve smacked him for that comment. “How would I even get poison in this place?”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“It’s not! I’ll even eat some if you’re so paranoid!”
“I want some,” Kaiser says. He reaches out to grab a piece of kintsuba, but Isagi is quicker. He reaches across the table to slap Kaiser’s hand away, causing the blonde to yelp and clutch his hand close to his chest. “What the fuck?!”
“You’re not allowed to have any! It’s for Ness only!”
Kaiser glares at him then turns to Ness. “Alexis, give me some.”
“STOP CHEATING YOU SHITTY KING!”
“It’s Alexis's gift, right? So it isn’t cheating if he chooses to give it to me.”
“It is Ness’s gift, which means only he can eat it! It’s the rules!”
“There are no rules in gift giving you stupid peasant!”
“Well there’s rules when I give gifts you piece of-!”
“It’s good.”
Kaiser and Isagi pause in their bickering when Ness speaks. Isagi blushes when he sees Ness, kintsuba in hand with a bite taken out of it, have a small smile on his face. A smile directed at Isagi. A smile that isn’t laced with malice or cruelty. A true, genuine smile.
Step 1 of wooing: successful.
“Thank you for the dessert, Yoichi,” Ness says, “I…like it.”
Isagi stands up straight and gives the other a shaky smile back. “G-Good, I’m glad!” he then bows towards Ness, “please enjoy them, and don’t let Kaiser have any!” he straightens back up “See you at practice!”
He quickly walks away, hoping that Ness listens to him and doesn’t give Kaiser any kintsuba. He made it for Ness only and he’d rather die than let Kaiser eat his hard work. At least Ness liked it. He even smiled at him! Isagi’s first ever real Ness smile.
He hopes he gets to see it more in the future.
2. Compliments
Isagi isn’t always great with words. More specifically, he hasn’t always said the nicest things to Ness. He isn’t afraid to praise someone when he deems it appropriate, but with Ness and how they started out, he never got the chance to tell the other that he actually really admires him. He thinks Ness is a genius midfielder who rivals Itoshi Sae, and all of his passes are so beautiful and clean. Isagi has always wanted to praise Ness for his talents (and looks, but he’ll start with talents since it seems less intimidating), and he thinks now is a good time to start.
It is two days after the kintsuba incident, and he’s ready to start step two in wooing Alexis Ness. They’re both in the locker room surrounded by their teammates after practice, and Ness is changing by himself, away from his fellow BM members. Isagi doesn’t know why he’s alone, since he’s usually chatting with Kaiser or the others after practice, but he’ll take this golden opportunity and roll with it.
He takes a deep breathe and walks over to Ness. He can feel eyes on him, probably wondering if he’s going to start a fight, but he ignores them. He keeps his gaze solely on Ness, who shuts his locker after putting on his Blue Lock issued sweater. Isagi bites his lower lip and reaches up to gently tap Ness on the shoulder. The midfielder flinches slightly and turns around, frowning when he sees who tapped him. “Yoichi? What do you want?”
“Um, nothing,” Isagi says, fiddling with his fingers. He looks down at the ground. He's never been so nervous to praise someone. “I-I just wanted to tell you t-that you did really good during practice today.”
Isagi looks up at Ness, only to be met with confusion. “Oh. Um, thank you?”
“I-I think you’re always amazing on t-the field!” he blurts out. Ness’s eyes widen. “Your flexible ankles make you very versatile and reliable, and you’re really good at getting the ball to your intended target! Honestly, if it wasn’t for Sae, you’d be with Kaiser in the New generation world 11! It’s amazing watching you move so effortlessly and I think-“
“Ok, that’s enough!”
Isagi yelps as a hand is slapped over his mouth, stopping his rambles. He blushes and observes Ness, who’s blushing just as hard as he probably is. Isagi made him blush. He didn’t exactly mean to lay it on that thick, but it worked! Ness is flustered because of him!
Step 2 of wooing: successful.
“What’s with the sudden praise?” Ness scowls, “I thought all you saw me as was Michael’s lackey?”
Isagi winces. Yeah, he had said that. He taps Ness’s wrist, and the other removes his hand from his mouth. “I admit I still think that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re an amazing soccer player. I just think you…limit yourself, only passing to Kaiser.”
Ness glares at him. “Is this just one big ploy to get me to pass to you?”
“What!? No!” Isagi waves his hands, “I genuinely meant what I said! But I think you’d be even more versatile if you passed to more people! Doesn’t have to be me, it could be Yukimiya, or Kunigami, or Grim, or-“
“So you just felt the need to randomly start complimenting me?”
“I- yes? I just-“ he looks back down at ground, “-I wanted you to know that I…I think you’re talented. I don’t want our only encounters to just be insults, so I’m changing that. I hope you believe me, because I’m being sincere. I promise.”
He continues to look at the floor, too scared to face Ness after being so honest. Maybe step two isn’t so successful if Ness thinks his compliments are phony. He tried to be as honest as possible, but maybe the damage is already done. He clenches his fists at the thought.
He’s brought out of his depressing thoughts by a light giggle. His head shoots up in surprise as he’s met with Ness’s smiling face, small laughs escaping the other’s mouth. Never mind, he takes everything back - step two is a complete and utter success. He made Ness laugh.
“You keep surprising me, Yoichi,” Ness giggles, “I didn’t expect you to be so docile off the field.”
Isagi frowns at that. “I can be nice.”
“You can,” Ness stops laughing, but doesn’t stop smiling at him, “thank you, for your honest thoughts. I am always loyal to Kaiser, but…I do appreciate the kind words. And-“ Ness clears his throat, “-you aren’t so bad yourself, on the field I mean. You aren’t as amazing as Michael, but you are Blue lock’s ace for a reason. I can acknowledge that.”
Isagi beams at that. Ness thinks he’s talented too! Not as good as Kaiser (fuck that guy though this isn’t about him), but Ness acknowledged him! He feels his heart speed up and his body vibrate in happiness. Getting complimented by his crush feels so nice.
“Thank you Ness. Your words mean a lot to me!”
“Y’know, if we’re going to be friendly from now on, then I think you should call me by my first name. I already call you Yoichi, don’t I?”
Isagi blinks in shock. Ness is really giving him permission to use his name. He wonders if the German boy knows how big of a deal that is to him. “Ok, I can d-do that…Alexis.”
Ness smiles at him. “Good boy, Yoichi~”
Isagi practically explodes on the spot.
3. Affection
Isagi is 97.5% sure that Ness does not hate him anymore. On the field they still tend to butt heads, which is to be expected, but off the field they smile at each other more, and talk to each other more, they’ve even spent more time together! Isagi is pretty sure he can call Ness a friend, which is much better than calling him his enemy.
Better, sure, but still not enough.
He has one more step before he can confess his true feelings. One final step to ensure that Ness sees him as a potential boyfriend and not an enemy or just a friend:
Physical affection.
Ness and him don’t hug. Hell, the only times they touch each other is either during practice or during a game. The most he’s gotten off the field is a tap on his back or shoulder. They have never shown physical affection to each other, and Isagi wants to change that....
...by barging into Ness’s room (while Kaiser is at practice - yes Isagi made sure to check), and standing above the boy who’s sitting on his bed, now staring at Isagi in shock. “Yoichi? What’s-“
“Is this seat taken?”
Ness blinks and looks at what Isagi is pointing at. His…legs? “Seat…you mean my legs?”
“Your lap,” Isagi blushes, but somehow maintains eye contact, “is it taken?”
Ness blinks again. “No…?”
“So I can sit there?”
Isagi trembles as Ness doesn’t answer for a good two minutes. Then, to his slight horror, Ness smiles at him and pats his lap. “You can.”
He did not expect this to work. Ok, deep breathes Yoichi. You can do this. It’s just cuddling with your crush, no big deal. Cuddling…being close to Ness…feeling his warmth against his body…
He quickly scrambles to sit beside Ness, placing his own legs on top of the midfielders since he will explode into one million tiny Isagi pieces if he actually sits on Ness’s lap. He settles for draping himself across his lap, placing his head on the others shoulder so Ness can’t see his red face. He doesn’t know what to do with his arms, so he keeps them crossed against his chest.
Well, this is nice. A little awkward, but nice. He hopes.
“…Yoichi?”
Isagi hums.
“Are you ok?” he flinches when he feels a hand on his back, “you’re shaking.”
Isagi scowls and buries his face even deeper into Ness’s shoulder. “M’fine.”
A pause. “Have you…never cuddled someone before?”
“I HAVE!”
“Could have fooled me,” Ness chuckles, “you’re not very good at it.”
Oh God, please strike him down, this is so embarrassing. How does one fail at cuddling? In his defense, he’s never cuddled with a crush before! This is a whole new experience and he’s trying his best, ok?
“Here, let me help you.”
Isagi’s eyes widen as he feels two hands pulls his arms away from his chest and wrap them around a different chest. Ness’s chest. His arms are around Ness’s body. Meanwhile, Ness wraps one of his own arms around Isagi’s waist, and the other one around his shoulders. Ness hums as he runs a hand through Isagi’s blue hair, causing the Japanese boy to malfunction even more. He’s so warm and so…gentle. He kind of wants to cry from how nice this feels.
“There,” Ness giggles, “isn’t that better?”
“Y-Yeah,” he whispers. He feels Ness let go of his waist, and before he can whine to the other to put it back and embarrass himself even more, a Blue lock tablet is placed on top of his legs. The arm returns to his waist, and he looks up at Ness in confusion.
“I was watching game highlights before you came in. Do you want to watch some together?”
Oh thank God, soccer. That he can do. “Sure!”
He unpauses the video and engrosses himself in the game. He tries his best to keep calm, even when Ness lays his head on top of Isagi’s. They sit in comfortable silence for a while, cuddling and watching soccer, just enjoying each others company. He never thought him and Ness could coexist like this, but he hopes they get to do this more often. He hums and leans further into Ness’s body.
Step 3 of wooing: successful.
“What. the fuck.”
“AH!” Ness flinches and lifts his head up from it’s spot on Isagi’s head. Isagi groans and turns to look at the blonde nuisance standing in the doorway. “M-Michael! Welcome back.”
“Alexis,” the other gasps, “what is this clown doing here? And why is he cuddling with you?!”
“Can’t you tell that we’re watching game highlights?” Isagi scoffs, “idiot.”
“You are in my room and you dare insult me?”
“You are interrupting my cuddle time with Alexis.”
“Your- CUDDLE TIME?!” Kaiser yells, his sentence ending in a high pitched voice.
“Yes, cuddle time,” Isagi huffs. He lays his head back down on Ness’s chest and unpauses the game. “Now stop talking and let us watch.”
He doesn’t look up again, not even when Ness asks “Michael, where are you going?!”
He does, however, smirk when this is the response they get:
“YOU TWO DISGUST ME AND NOW I NEED TO GO PUKE!”
4. Confession
Isagi has deemed his plan of wooing a complete success. Him and Ness are friends, who cuddle and hug and compliment each other and share food and even held hands once. Isagi is now 100% sure Ness doesn’t hate him, which makes this the perfect time to confess his true feelings to the other boy.
There’s just one problem: he has no idea how to do that.
He has never confessed to anyone before. Hell, he’s had a total of three crushes his entire life, and one of them was a celebrity crush on Noel Noa so that doesn’t really count. His first crush was on a girl he doesn't even remember that lasted for three days and he was eight when he had it, so again, it doesn’t really count. He basically has zero experience with romance, and it’s coming around to now bite him in the ass.
He wishes he could give Ness flowers or chocolate or something sappy to help him express his feelings, but he can’t. He supposes he could ask Anri for help, but honestly, he’d rather pass away than ask her for romantic advice. Sorry Anri, but he’s too embarrassed for that, so plan B it is:
Wallow in self pity until he gets the courage to confess.
Wooing Ness into liking him was easier than actually declaring his love. Maybe he’ll be stuck as his friend forever, and Ness will move on and find someone else to love because he’s amazing and most definitely won’t die alone like he will.
Isagi sighs and buries his face in his sweaty knees. God he’s so pathetic.
“Yoichi, are you ok?”
Isagi looks up at the very boy who’s been plaguing his mind and giving him a midlife crisis at 17 years old. Ness’s chest heaves up and down as he cools down from his previous practicing. He pouts at Isagi. “You seem sad.”
Isagi shrugs. “M’ok, just thinking.”
Ness sits down across from him and chugs on his water (Isagi does not stare at the way his adam’s apple bobs up and down - nope, totally not). Once he’s done drinking, he sighs and places his bottle down beside his legs. “I know we haven’t been friends for long, but…you can always talk to me.”
He looks at Ness. He’s so nice, it’s actually weird to ever think about how the other use to hate him when he treats him so kindly now. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to vent a little to his own crush. He’ll just…be vague.
“Have you ever had a crush before?”
Ness’s eyes widen, surprised at the random question. “I…yes, I have.”
“Did you…ever confess to them?”
That gets Ness to look down at the turf. “No…” he looks back up at Isagi, “do you have a crush on someone Yoichi?”
He sighs. “I do,” he looks away from Ness and lays his head back down on his knees, “and I want to tell him how I feel, but I have no idea how too.”
If Isagi was looking at Ness, he’d see the way his purple eyes dimmed a bit at the mention of him having a crush. But he isn't looking at him, so he continues. “I’m just afraid he won’t like me back. I’ve never had a real crush before him, y’know? So this is all scary and new to me and I don’t really know what to do.”
“You should confess.”
He finally looks at Ness, but Ness isn’t looking at him. “But I-“
“I know it’s scary, but you’re Yoichi,” Ness smiles, “anyone would be lucky to have you. You’re talented and smart and incredibly kind. You were even nice to someone like me, after I was so mean to you.”
Isagi stares at the other shock as Ness turns back to him, eyes slightly tearing up. Is he- why is he crying? He’s smiling, but he’s crying. Is he sad? Why would Ness be sad?
“The person you like sure is a lucky guy, Yoichi,” Ness whispers. Isagi’s eyes widen. Is he sad…that Isagi likes someone? Oh my god…if he’s sad that Isagi likes someone, he’s assuming Isagi likes someone who isn’t Ness, which means-
“Alexis!”
Ness flinches as Isagi cups his cheeks to bring his face closer. Isagi stares at him with literal stars in his eyes, his face flushed and hands slightly shaking in excitement. The only thing that could get him feeling like this is soccer, and even then, this feels even better. It’s thrilling.
“You like me.”
Ness flinches again and tries to move away, but Isagi keeps his grip on him by squishing his face, his cheeks getting smushed up by the added force. “You’re crying because you don’t like the thought of me liking someone besides you. Right?”
“Yoichi,” Ness says, words slightly muffled by Isagi’s cheek smushing. He lets up the grip to let the other speak properly. “So what if I like you? It doesn’t matter anyway…”
“YES IT DOES!” he beams at Ness, “BECAUSE I LIKE YOU TOO!”
“W-Wha…” Ness gasps, his face turning bright red, “H-HUH?!”
“Oh my God, this is amazing!” Isagi giggles, “I tried so hard to get closer to you and show you my affection! I was so worried that you’d either hate me forever or just be my friend forever. Which wouldn’t be bad- the second one I mean! I love being your friend, but I’d really love to date you because I like you so much and I’ve liked you for a while now and-“
A hand is placed over his mouth.
“Usually your ramblings are cute but I had to stop this one before I combust, sorry.”
Isagi blinks in awe as Ness removes his hand. “You think I’m cute?”
The German boy smiles at him. “Yes Yoichi, I think the person I like is very cute.”
Isagi blinks again before pointing at himself. “Just to be sure, the person you like is me, right?”
Ness giggles. “Yes Yoichi. I…like you. A lot.”
“Cool,” he whispers in awe. The stare at each other in silence before he breaks it. “So…what now?”
“Well, typically this is where we schedule our first date, but considering where we are…”
“Oh,” he whispers in disappointment. That’s true. Blue lock makes it difficult for them to go out on real dates. They’re pretty much stuck in limbo then if they can’t actually date. “I guess it isn’t really possible to date in a place like this.”
“That’s not completely true,” Ness smiles, “we can still go on dates, they just won’t be very…conventional.”
“How?”
Ness hums before standing up, grabbing his towel and water bottle. He reaches out a gloved hand towards Isagi, offering his assistance to help the other stand up. Isagi blushes but excepts his help nonetheless. When Isagi is standing, Ness doesn’t let go of his hand. Instead, he intertwines their fingers. “How about a cooking date? We have a personal kitchen in our dorm.”
Isagi's jaw drops. “YOU DO?!”
“Per Michael’s request,” Ness chuckles, “I can show you how to cook a German dish. Does that sound ok?”
“That actually sounds nice,” he smiles. A relaxing cooking date followed by a romantic dinner. It sounds heavenly. He has a sudden thought and frowns. “If you two have a personal kitchen, why even bother eating in the cafeteria?”
“We don’t know how to make Japanese food, and the stuff here is pretty good.”
“Oh,” he whispers. That makes sense. “One more question.”
Ness nods.
“Does this mean we’re boyfriends now?”
Ness smiles again, but this one is different. It’s softer than any smile Ness has ever directed at him, and Isagi feels his heart speed up when the German boy leans in closer, their foreheads gently touching. The last time this happened he was too pissed and high on adrenaline to appreciate how pretty Ness is up close. He’s grateful he gets to experience this when he’s in his right mind and Ness is looking at him with love instead of hate.
“Yes Yoichi,” Ness whispers, “we are boyfriends.”
Isagi feels himself smile back, though it’s probably more shaky than Ness’s. He has a pretty boy so close to him, give him a break. “A-Awesome! Thank you.”
“Silly, why are you thanking me?”
He shrugs. “For liking me back, I guess.”
Ness tilts his head, and his smile falls and turns into a blank expression. Isagi worries he said the wrong thing when the other pulls away, but his doubts are cleared when Ness just wraps his arms around his waist and back, pulling him into a tight hug. Isagi doesn’t explode (thank god) but he does feel his face heat up. Nonetheless, he hugs his new boyfriend back.
“I should be thanking you then,” Ness says, “for liking me even when I was cruel to you. I’m glad I got to know you off the field, Yoichi.”
“To be fair, I wasn’t always that nice to you either,” he says, “and I’m glad I got to know you too, Alexis.”
Ness hums and places his chin on top of Isagi’s head. Isagi hums back and closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth and closeness of the hug. He’s on cloud nine right now.
“Alexis?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I go shower now? I feel all sticky from my sweat.”
Ness chuckles and moves away from the hug. “Of course. I need to go shower too. Meet me at my dorm?”
“Ok!”
“Oh, one more thing!”
Isagi’s eyes widen when Ness leans back in, his lips gently brushing against Isagi’s own. It can barely be called a proper kiss, with how light it is, but he can feel Ness’s lips on his, so it is, indeed, a kiss. His first kiss with Ness. His first kiss ever.
It’s over just as quickly as it began. He watches in awe as his boyfriend turns around and heads towards the exit. “I’ll give you a proper one when we’re all nice and clean!” Ness turns his head and smiles, “so don’t be late, Yoichi!”
“Y-Yeah,” he says in a strained voice. He doesn’t move a muscle until Ness is gone, and once he is, he squats down to hide his red face in his knees. He smiles brightly at the turf below, still in shock that his first crush has turned into his first boyfriend and first kiss. His plan actually worked!
“I have a boyfriend,” he whispers, giggling afterwards.
Isagi’s full proof plan on wooing Alexis Ness: successful.
+1. Bonus
Michael Kaiser stares at the scene before him in disgust and shock.
“Am I cooking it properly?”
“For the tenth time, you are cooking it just fine Yoichi. It’s hard to screw up cooking Bratwurst.”
“I just want to be sure!”
Kaiser looks on in horror as Ness actually smiles at that clown and leans to kiss him on the cheek. Isagi, the heathen, actually blushes. He shouldn’t be surprised at this display of affection since Ness is literally back hugging him in the middle of their kitchen, but it still catches him completely off guard to see the two act so…couple-y.
He has to be dreaming.
“Is this enough for our date?”
“Hmmm yes, this should be enough.”
He pinches himself and flinches at the pain. So he's not dreaming. Ok then.
Before he can witness anything else he turns around and walks away, making sure to be quiet so they don’t hear him. Once he’s far away enough, he groans and bangs his head against the nearest wall, mourning the fact that Ness fell victim to Isagi’s ways.
He isn’t a bandit or a clown - Isagi Yoichi is the temptress who distracts the knight from his duties to the king. And now he’ll have to bear witness to their…PDA. He groans again at the thought.
“Kill me now.”