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It was a dreadful day. A perfectly even layer covered the sky with gray clouds, the temperature was cold enough to feel the chilling air on your face, but not enough to be annoying, the humidity was adequate as well, and a cold breeze blew from time to time. Wednesday had decided to reward herself for having reached the equator of her novel, and given the climatic circumstances of the day, take the evening off and go out on the balcony to read, to enjoy the weather with the muffled sound of her gramophone playing from the room.
A factor disrupted her otherwise completely gray day. Her impossibly colorful roommate, as a matter of fact. Enid always spent Wednesday's writing hour lying on her bed looking at that bottomless infernal abyss she called social media, enjoying the comfortable quiet of sharing space with a silent person like the Addams girl.
That day though, Enid had asked to keep her company outside. For some reason she couldn’t understand, Wednesday couldn’t say no to her, not when she had that pitiful glint in her eyes.
Well, that was a blatant lie.
She sadly knew exactly why she couldn’t fight against Enid’s puppy eyes. After the Crackstone incident a few months ago and in an increasingly obvious way, Wednesday had begun to experience non-platonic feelings towards her roommate. Unfortunately, many hours of introspection, doubts, and writing had led her to that undeniable conclusion. She was madly and irrevocably in love with Enid Sinclair. It was an appalling fact, and she was in complete denial. But that was what she didn't understand. It just didn’t make sense, they didn’t make sense.
And yet, they worked.
So she had made certain allowances, letting the blonde walk freely through her space and through her mind. Wednesday felt like her walls were being dismantled stone by stone, blaming their fateful hug for having started the path to her own destruction. How pathetic, what a terrible curse. Although she still didn't do hugs (she knew she would be lost the moment she let herself be carried into the arms of her beloved wolf again, so it was a matter of avoidance), she had lowered her strict limits and allowed certain displays of physical affection, much to the blonde's enthusiasm.
Of course, those new rules applied to Enid and only Enid.
They always used to be something subtle. A bump on the shoulder, a squeeze on the arm, Wednesday allowing Enid to nudge her slightly around the waist to keep her from bumping into one of their idiotic classmates when she was walking the halls deep in some of her reading and not bothering to raise her head, sometimes when they went to class together Enid would take her arm to walk through the school. In the safety of their room, Wednesday allowed a little more, letting Enid rest her head on her shoulder when they watched a movie, allowing the blonde into her space and even occasionally sitting on her bed to read or be with her phone while the Addams girl wrote.
Of course, she knew that these were casual behaviors for the blonde. Enid was a naturally affectionate person, and while to Wednesday those little touches meant the world, to Enid it was surely just a regular display of affection. Wednesday knew that her infatuation was one-way, and she was content to be close to Enid but at a distance from her, letting her get close but with certain limits that kept the wolf from reaching the center of her dark heart. She couldn't risk falling for her family curse, it would be utterly catastrophic.
So she lived in that limbo, playing with fire while trying not to get burned, admiring Enid from a distance of what could never be.
That's how they got to Wednesday sitting on the old wooden floorboards on the balcony with Enid dozing laid down next to her with her head in the short girl's lap, blond locks scattered over her black sweatpants. Shostakovich’s Second Waltz ended with an ominous fanfare from the room and left them in a calm silence, broken only by the murmur of students walking across campus and the eventual breeze. Wednesday held stoically with one hand her worn copy of Mary Shelley’s The Last Man and with the other… Well, Enid had taken it in hers and was aimlessly playing with it.
Needless to say, Wednesday had tried to read the same page three times without success, her gaze and mind only fixing on the blonde's eyes as she badly hummed the melody they had just heard, and in the warmth that spread in her palm with the soft touches of roommate’s multicolored hands.
“Your hands are so tiny”, Enid stated with a distracted chuckle.
Her saccharine voice snapped Wednesday out of her reverie, forcing herself to maintain her usual monotone.
“I think it has already been pointed out several times by the obviousness that I am in fact smaller than you”, she deadpanned, keeping her gaze fixed on the page, though not reading a word. “And I cannot seem to understand why that is relevant”.
Enid stared and cupped her hands to hold Wednesday’s upside down, playing with her fingers and caressing her phalanges one by one. Wednesday ignored the chills that ran down her spine.
“Yeah, I dunno, they’re cute”, the blonde shrugged.
“I can think of fourteen ways to kill you with them immediately without having to move another part of my body”, Wednesday knew it wouldn't work as a threat, but it was a good fact to keep in mind. Oh, fifteen, she had just come up with another one. “I wouldn't call that cute”, she added.
Enid ignored her comment as she stroked her perfectly manicured black nails.
“Wow, your fingertips”, she said in amazement, bringing her pale fingers up to her face for a closer look.
“What about them?”, the Addams girl sighed, giving up on her reading attempt and putting her book aside.
“You don’t have any”, she replied.
Wednesday didn't know what to add. Yes, an obvious observation. What else was there to say? But she knew that Enid expected her to say something, even if it was redundant. She vaguely remembered how the blonde had once told her that she liked her when she told her things, no matter what they were.
“I play cello until my hands bleed. Because of that and other instruments and tasks, the skin on my fingertips has hardened to form a callus. It's a rather logical and inevitable cause-effect relationship”, she added, matter-of-factly.
“But doesn't that hurt?”, she asked curiously tapping Wednesday’s tips with hers rhythmically.
“Alas, not anymore. That is nonetheless the evolutionary point of skin hardening”. She cleared her throat and tried with all her might to keep her breathing steady, which insisted on wanting to shake with every touch.
Her mouth was dry, which was strange, since she could tell that she was well hydrated. Maybe she had been food poisoned and that would be the cause of the symptoms, instead of her damn amorousness. Solve mysteries, calculate, analyze. She should focus on that, it was a safe topic.
“I must admit that it is a nuisance to resort only to my right hand for my investigations. Many poisons and clues require tactile testing to determine their nature, and even though I'm ambidextrous, I have that little handicap”.
Should she talk about terrible poisons and blood so that Enid would drop the subject for good?
The blonde, however, was still too busy following the lines of her hands. “Here, touch this”, she said placing the pale hand on the floorboards and moving it back and forth. “What can you sense?”
Wednesday took a moment to process. “Only the most voluminous knots. The other lines and bumps are beyond me”, she confirmed.
Enid then ran Wednesday’s fingertips across her own palm, so she could feel the lines and wrinkles on its surface. Enid was a curious and investigative soul. If it weren't for her apprehension for blood and that she was startled by everything, Wednesday had considered her a good assistant, maybe even a partner in crime. That's why she was asking her all this, because Enid was curious and she wanted to get to the heart of the matter.
And that's why Wednesday responded, because she appreciated a good investigation. Simple as that.
“Just warmth”, she answered.
Because it was indeed what she felt through her hand. And on her cheeks and on her chest, but that was another matter.
Enid hummed curiously and finally let go of the short girl's hand. Wednesday should have been relieved, but the ghost of her touch hurt like a thousand thorns. She had definitely become her father. She would do anything to get it back, but Wednesday Addams was afraid of one thing, and that was losing Enid again. She couldn't be careless and break the spell that surrounded them. It was perfect, Enid was perfect, and she didn't deserve her. But she was so desperate, it was pathetic. Her mind went on autopilot.
Without thinking, she reached up with her newly freed hand and moved it slowly to Enid's left cheek, who was looking at her silently still lying on her lap. Enid's expression had changed, her absent-minded, semi-permanent half-smile of hers shifting to wide-eyed, mouth half-open. Her cheeks and nose had turned a cloying shade of pink... the cold, surely.
After a few seconds of hesitation, her mind still blank or rather an uncontrollable storm raging, Wednesday carefully ran her rough fingers over each of the lines that traced her face, gingerly and slowly, just letting her fingers gently glide in a silence that seemed almost ritualistic. She could feel the heat emanating from the blonde's face, the soft puffs of air with each breath and the volume of the scars, but not the softness of her skin nor the change of textures across her cheeks.
Wednesday noticed how Enid's eyelids fluttered with every movement, until two sapphire pools stared back at her with a twinkle Wednesday couldn't quite read. That snapped her back to reality. More than snap, reality slapped her across the face, shook her shoulders and kicked her in the stomach. She hadn't been thinking, she wasn't realizing what she was doing. For Satan’s sake, what was she doing? They had never had so much contact, certainly not for as long, certainly never on the face, and certainly not as delicate.
“Ap-apologies”, Wednesday stuttered pulling her hand away immediately. She felt sloppy, her words stumbled on her tongue, her heart seemed to want to break her ribcage. “I shouldn't- I shouldn't have done that, it was inappropriate. In any case, I should have asked your permission first. I-”
“It’s okay, Weds”, Enid replied, voice soft like a whisper. The blonde sat up slowly, with legs cocked to the side and body leaning forward, blue eyes still fixed on her roommate. A gentle gust of wind ruffled her already messy hair. Wednesday was sitting very still, her back straight against the cobweb window, her hands now in her lap, fidgeting so they wouldn't shake. “I know you’re not a touchy person, I just-", the blonde started, but corrected herself, "Maybe I've overstayed my welcome. I’m sorry”.
"It was-It is fine", Wednesday reassured, not liking the unexpectedly soft tone of her own voice.
They were too close for her liking, rather, too close for her sanity. She weighed her options. The jump from the balcony was high but not deadly. Then again, if she was stupid enough she was only inches away from kissing Enid. No, what a moronic idea. On second thought, with an adequate landing, she could limp into the woods and run away forever. Yes, that could be a suitable plan. No, Addamses did not run. None of the options were correct and she just felt Damocles’ sword hanging over her head.
Wednesday looked up at Enid through her lashes. Her heart skipped a beat when their gazes met, and she couldn't help but let out a small gasp, almost inaudible. To her misfortune, she knew that the wolf’s heightened senses were able to hear it clearly. A new sparkle came into Enid's eyes. She slowly moved her hands to take Wednesday's, giving Wednesday time to back off if she wanted to. Enid expected some negative reaction, a grimace, a startle, but Wednesday didn't do anything to tell her to stop. The blonde didn't stop looking at her as she very, very slowly placed her hands on her scarred face.
Wednesday couldn’t say anything, settling for staring in awe at Enid’s beautiful face, truly fascinated as she cupped it with the most delicate care. She sensed how both sides felt different, with her right hand she could feel the soft pink lines that crossed the wolf’s cheek, while her rough left fingers caressed the other side. Both sides radiated a pleasant warmth and were covered in a strong shade of pink. Enid's eyes fluttered closed, she leaned into the touch with a soft smile. Wednesday just couldn't stop looking at her, she couldn't believe how lucky she felt. How could she ever have believed that she had hated her? Now she couldn't even describe the deep devotion she felt towards the blonde. Was this how her parents looked at each other? Was this what they felt? It was a blow to her pride after years of denial, but at the moment she didn’t care.
Enid's eyes slowly opened. She was definitely too close for Wednesday’s sanity. The taller girl brought her hands up to place them on top of Wednesday's, enveloping her in unbearable warmth. Then is when the Addams’ girl knew that she was lost, she had no escape, it was the free fall of all her reason, and worst of all, all she wanted was to let herself go. It would be so easy, if she wasn't so scared. Her eyes closed for a second as warmth washed over her.
“You're beautiful”, she couldn't help but mumble out.
Her previously relaxed face turned into a terrified grimace. No, no no, no, what was she doing. With wide eyes, she looked into Enid's, unable to read them.
She wanted to pull away and flee, but Enid's hands held her firmly by the wrists and she didn't have time to react further, because after a brief look Enid joined her lips with Wednesday’s.
If before she thought she was falling, now she was definitely floating. Her head wasn't able to fully process what was happening, everything came to her mind in fragments. Enid's warm, sweet breath over her shaky one, the strong hands holding hers, the perfect jawline under the touch of her fingers, her lips. The only thing she could think of was Enid, Enid, Enid. It was short, barely a touch really, but soft, warm, perfect.
Wednesday's mind was still spiraling when she felt Enid pulling away. “You, uhm , did you- How- When? I-”
Enid cut her off, brushing a dark lock of her bangs out of her eyes with a sheepish little smile. “I, uhm, I guess I suspected it a bit? But I wasn't sure. Until now”, she said softly, biting the side of her lip.
It was a tic that she did when she was nervous. Certainly Wednesday was relieved to know that she wasn't the only one who felt anxious. She had lowered her hands and clenched her fists at her sides.
“I didn't say anything because I didn't want to scare you”, Enid continued, almost whispering, “I was afraid that you would leave. I- after the Hyde, I understood my feelings for you…” She alternated between looking at her hands and Wednesday’s watchful eyes. “And I thought you didn't feel the same way, and our friendship is so important to me and that's why I didn't say anything”, she lowered her head and chuckled softly. “Gosh, I like you so much. Do you-?”
“Yes”, Wednesday replied without hesitation. She took Enid's fidgeting hands on her own, and frowned, focusing on her thoughts. “Enid, I am trying to find the words to describe exactly what I feel but yes. I do like you. Romantically. An enormous amount that I am not able to even start measuring”. At some point, Enid had started to trace circles with her thumb on the backs of her hands. It felt natural and soothing in a way that Wednesday did not expect. “I believe I must apologize, as I am not proficient at expressing myself. Emotionally, that is”.
“It’s okay, Willa”, the blonde replied wearing the biggest grin. “We don't have to figure it out right away”.
Wednesday nodded and swallowed, feeling how the warmth and enveloping presence of Enid was not overwhelming, but pleasant. “Is it alright to state that we are now dating?”, she asked shyly.
“Yeah!”, Enid exclaimed way too eagerly. “Oh my god, girlfriends? I’d love to. Yeah, I mean, yes”, she chuckled as she calmed her breath.
“Good”, Wednesday deadpanned with a smirk.
Enid wolfishly smiled from ear to ear at their intertwined hands as she traced random patterns.
“Enid?”, Wednesday called gingerly. Never had her voice been so gentle as when she spoke to Enid, now more than ever.
“Hm-hmm?”, the taller girl lifted her head and their gazes met again. If Wednesday blushed at that moment, it was a trick of the light.
“Could you, hm, kiss me again?”
Another light breeze ruffled Enid's hair as she giggled softly. “Yes, please”, she whispered as she leaned in.