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It had been almost three months since he had held a gun. Which was more than he had been for many years. He had always had the protective weight of a gun, now he didn't have one, because they were illegal.
It was good, he knew that, it made sure his family was safer. Not that it wasn’t hard to smuggle guns, the amounts of thugs with guns he had met whilst working at SW and meeting up with the numbers was enough proof of that.
He didn't miss the need to carry a gun or rifle. But some nights, when he woke up after a bad nightmare, he checked himself for weapons to protect himself, only to feel the cold chill of vounrablity wash over him. He could defend himself just fine with only hand to hand combat, there were few who could match him, but he the immediate disadvantage he held if someone pulled out a gun. It was terrifying. It was something he couldn't describe.
SW pulled together team one and team two for gun practice. It was uncommon and Ijin hadn't expected it. Since guns weren't legal he was surprised by the sudden practice change.
Sukjoo stood uncomfortably next to him. He looked almost sick, mouth downtured in a strong frown, his face pale and hands clammy. He kept switching between having his arms crossed and setting them at his sides to flex his fists.
Team leader one and two stood in front of them with serious expressions. "This is not usual protocol, but the Chairman deemed it necessary. We are going to be focusing on more on gun practice. Nothing in depth, just how to shoot common guns and disarm enemies with firearms.
Smuggling and gun violence is at a high rise and we need to practice accordingly. This week we will replacing some of the normal practice to get uses to holding and shooting guns." Team leader two spoke.
The faces of the bodyguards were determined. The former soldiers looked less determined and mote casual.
Ijin returned his attention to Sukjoo was taking deep calming breaths. Eventually he noticed Ijin staring and gave him a strained look.
"Are you alright?" He asked, tilting his head slightly.
Sukjoo nodded before he spoke, "I'll be fine," he answered.
Team leader one pulled him aside, he seemed to know what was bothering him. But Ijin didn't want to pry and pulled his attention towards the others.
"Hey Ijin, maybe we'll finally beat you at something," one of the former soldiers, Lee, said and gave him a joking shove with his elbow. Despite the joking tone and behavior, Ijin could tell there was some serious glint in his eyes. He did want to beat Ijin.
The range was decently large. It had roughly twenty windows with just one target at the end of each one. It was big and round. He could see in the storage that there were human shaped targets. There were guns laying in cases across the room, furthers away from the door.
"Remember that even if these aren't real bullets, you still have to be careful. They will puncture the skin if shot close enough. Handle the guns gently and always point it towards the targets." Team leader one said.
Team leader two explained the basis of what they had to do. Ten bullets, try to hit bullseye.
It seemed fairly simple. They weren't small targets and it was decently close ranged. They split up and equally waited for their turn.
Some of the former soldiers only took a few bullets, seemingly rusty from not actively using guns.
Lee shot four bullets into the target before the fifth hit a perfect bullseye. He ²the ball 2² had a nice grip on the gun and nice posture. However he was rusty because if anyone would be shooting back, he would've probably came out with a few bullets holes.
He gave Ijin a joking grin before stepping away.
Not soon after, it was Ijins turn. Most of them had a few shots before shooting the centre. Some didn't even manage to shoot it. Some of them had never even seen a gun in real life.
Ijin walked up to the counter where the gun was. They had been shown how to reload it. He did it slower than he usually would, trying to keep out the beaten in skill out of him mind. He had to keep a low profile, that's why he wad sent to Korea, to live a normal life and life casually, safely. But his instincts screamed otherwise. Telling him to move fast and accurately to shoot the target, if he didn't move fast enough he'd die.
He kept the voice in his head at bay. Sending a look, first towards Sukjoo, who was nervous, sweating even at the end of a que. His look was tense towards Ijin. Then he looked to Team leader two. He had seen him fire a gun with maximum accuracy, incapaciting multiple people. His look was returned, also tense, curious. Ijin knew what he wanted to see.
He should play it down. Act normal, keep his identity clean. Everyone was watching, wondering if he really was good at everything. He aimed. The bullet landed a few centimetres away from the centre, exactly where he was aiming.
Shoot them between the eyes. Kill them fast so they can't return the bullet. Prioritise your and your comrades survival.
Before he realised his instincts from Grian kicked in and the bullet landed right in the bullseye.
Everyone was watching him. Eyes wide and some were even gaping at him. He felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him. He couldn't even calm down for a minute to shoot a gun incorrectly.
Team leader two was watching him with shock but some sort of amazement.
Mad dog watched him with amazement and crazed happiness. Satisfied that the resources used to pull him out of that wreckage were worth it.
He looked again towards Sukjoo. His eyes were wide, and there was worry in his eyes. It seemed to be a theme however. As many people now looked at him with worry.
He put the gun down, and let the next person take their turn. It took a moment before people started moving again.
Lee and a few others walked up to him, eyes still wide. Team leader two even started approaching, taking his eyes off the people shooting at the range.
"Where did you learn to shoot a gun?" Lee asked. They had formed a semi circle around him and the wall was behind him, he hadn't felt this cornered in so long, this wasn't something he could fight out of.
He itched his neck and looked to the floor. I learned it on the streets where I grew up , was suddenly not a viable answer and that was all he had to say in conversations like these. Damn reflexes weren't helping anything.
He shrugged.
"What do you mean by that?" One of the bodyguards said. Ijin just shrugged again and gave him a blank stare. Team leader two sighed, but there was some sort of amusement in his sigh. Major Kang did a similar fond smile and sigh when he did something he considered strange.
Lee and the others just groaned. "You're impossible Ijin, you know that right?" One of them said. Ijin gave him a small smile which made them scoff with amusement.
A few more rounds came and went. Suddenly it was Sukjoo's turn. Ijin gave him a small, reassuring smile.
He grabbed the gun with shaky hands and reloaded it slowly and with clammy hands. Ijin even thought he'd drop the magazine a few times. He shut his eyes, laid down the gun on the table in front of him and then picked it up with shaky hands. He let out a sharp breath. His posture was rigid and he kept twitching nervously.
Ijin suspected the many eyes on him did nothing to soothe his nervousness. Everyone wanted to see how the other child prodigy did with a gun.
Before his finger even pulled the trigger he put it down loudly on the table and stormed out. Ijin followed him. Sukjoo had been closer to the exit and was almost running, but Ijin was faster and Sukjoo seemed to be exhausted and stressed.
When he caught up with him, Sukjoo just sat down on the curb, head in his hands.
Ijin slowly sat down next to him. He gave him a minute to catch his breath. "Are you alright?" He asked.
He thought it was such a stark contrast from Grian, the open show of emotion. Of course people showed emotion even in Grian, but weakness displayed in sadness was often not one of them unless they lost something. In Korea, when people were upset, people knew they were.
"I'll be fine," he answered. Common answer, Ijin realised. Even though they were obvious with emotion they still refused to admit it. Not that he would either.
"Do you want me to leave?" Ijin asked.
Sukjoo took a minute to just stay quiet. "You can stay, if you want."
Dayun told him that meant that someone wanted him to stay. She had given him a crash course on many things Major Kang left out when she realised how emotionally dull he was. She'd said that people often didn't want to admit what they were feeling, and would either lie or make it up to the other person to decide.
They stayed quiet for another moment. "Do you want to talk about it?" Ijin asked. This was awkward, even for him, he had been told he was very awkward. But he had to try, because Sukjoo seemed to genuinely be upset, and Ijin didn't see him like this often.
"I don't know," he said, he looked up from his hands and his eyes were slightly red, but there were no tears falling. "It's hard."
"Shooting a gun?" Ijin asked, trying to help his friend.
"Yeah, but no. I-" he paused, "... you know me and Yuona were in America for a while. The gun laws in America are very different. So, someone, uh… they came towards Youna, and, uh, he had a gun."
"Oh," Ijin said. Well that made sense. Sukjoo was unarmed and someone came at him and the person he was supposed to protect, but Ijin had an inkling that wasn't all. It wasn't.
"I uh," he paused, running a hand down his face and sighed, "took it . Shot him. I-I didn't know what else to do, he just kept coming. He didn't die, thank fuck. It's just. I don't like it."
Ijin put a hand on Sukjoo's back. He usually refrained from touching his friends, he refrained from touching in general, but it felt like a moment. "You did what you had to, to make sure you and Yuona were safe."
"I know. I know, everyone keeps telling me, but I just- it still feels wrong," he said, his voice getting lighter and tears welling in his eyes.
"That's alright. You just have to give yourself time. You'll heal at your own pace. Just know I'm here for you," Ijin said. Sukjoo turned to him, eyes all red, and Ijin gave him a small, hopefully comforting, and genuine smile. He returned a smile and wiped his eyes. Dayun would be proud of that speech.
There was an ugly spot of jealousy in him. One that shouldn't be there, because he shouldn't feel jealous of his friend's sadness. But he just wanted to have an excuse for having hurt people. He hurt them under orders, it didn't matter how hard he was beaten, he shouldn't have slaughtered families and children because he was told to. He wished he had someone to be protecting then, to excuse his terrible actions.
They sat for a moment, Sukjoo seemingly trying to catch his breath, or stop crying.
"Where'd you learn to shoot like that anyway?" Sukjoo asked once he calmed down, there was a small tease in his voice, but his eyes said that he meant it. That he was concerned, or maybe just serious? Angry?
The neighbourhood I grew up in , once again, didn't seem like a viable excuse. "I grew up in a bad place." Ijin started, almost glaring at the ground, hoping it might swallow him. He saw that Sukjoo was watching him out of the corner of his eye, giving him an exasperated look. "It was necessary." He said simply, biting his lip. Sukjoo's look softened somewhat. He didn't like explaining himself. When he did it felt like he was going to get punished. And now, it felt like they would leave him, if they knew what he had done.
"I'm sorry," Sukjoo said. Ijin snapped his head up.
"What?" He asked.
"I just keep asking questions that you shouldn't have to answer. And it's obviously not the most comfortable topic for you. It should have been over when you saved Yuona, because then I knew I could trust you. You shouldn't have to explain yourself for what happened to you," Sukjoo said.
For what happened to him- he was acting like he didn't deserve it for killing all those innocent people. Not that Sukjoo knew.
A part of him wanted him to know, for him to be repulsed knowing what he has done. The other wanted to keep it secret forever, to forever stay 19 and go to school, and then go to the game room with his friends.
"No you- you should know." Ijin said. He felt like something was caught in his throat. "I just… I don't know how to tell you."
"Well, until you figure that out, I'll keep trying to beat you, alright. You have to teach me sometime," Sukjoo smiled at him, and Ijin smiled back. Sukjoo lightly boxed his shoulder, "Let's go grab some noodles or something."
"I want-" he started.
"Kimbap, I know!" Sukjoo said as he sauntered off, Ijin smiling behind him.