Chapter Text
Rhaenyra taps the pen against her desk, debating what to do. The sun is already setting and she has already sent her assistant home. She should follow soon. Now that the she’s closed the Syrax deal that had been occupying every moment of her time for the past three months, there’s not much for her to do.
She checks her emails one last time; nothing of much importance. She sighs, picking up her stuff up, back to her empty apartment it is then. Her phone vibrates, it’s a call from an unknown number. She frowns. Only a handful of people knows her personal phone number and, by now, her family and friends know the best and fastest ways to contact her is through her secretary. The number was only ever for that one person who used to call her and send her messages all the time and said person hasn’t done so in months.
She taps the screen to answer the call.
“Hello?”
“Good evening, I’m calling from Kingswood Medical Centre. I’m looking for Rhaenyra Targaryen.” The woman on the other side of the line says.
“Yes, this is she.” Rhaenyra replies, her frown deepening.
“You’re listed as the medical contact for Alicent Hightower. She’s been admitted to the ER about an hour ago–“
***
Rhaenyra twists the ring around her middle finger. She snaps at Erryck, her driver, again, to go faster. She can’t think straight.
The nurse hasn’t been very helpful, hasn’t been able to say much.
“Ms. Hightower has been brought in after passing out at her workplace. She’s still being taken in for tests right now.”
Rhaenyra grabs the edge of her seat as the car takes a sharp turn. She’s really trying not to let the panic get the best of her, but images of Alicent lying unconscious on a hospital bed while doctors and nurses poke and prod at her are flooding her brain. She clenches her eyes shut.
Alicent’s sick.
The last time they saw each other, Rhaenyra was the one to end things. They had been on and off for months and every time they got back together things between them just got worse. Rhaenyra hated it, hated what they were becoming. Make up. Fuck. Fight. Break up. That was the endless cycle they were trapped in and Rhaenyra wanted, needed to break it. She didn’t want to completely ruin what they had, anymore so than they had already have. She didn’t want their shared memories to be soured, for the love they had to be corrupted even more. The two years they spend together, before it all went to hell, were the happiest of her life. She knew it was mostly her fault. They could have fixed the misunderstandings but it was her flat out lie that Alicent couldn’t get over, no matter how much they both tried. Rhaenyra thought it was for the best, better to break both their hearts now than to keep inflicting pain to each other until they were nothing more but ghost of who they had used to be. She only wanted to spare the both if them.
“So you’re just giving up on us?”
“I’m sorry, I just can’t go on like this. I don’t think you can, either.”
She did that. She broke them, even before their final goodbye. She still stays up most nights, doubts plaguing her mind, when she misses Alicent so much she falls asleep cursing herself. The pain doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, instead sipping in her skin and becoming part of her. She thought about calling her, hoped that maybe Alicent would be the one to call. Deep down she knows Alicent would never, she’s too proud, too hurt.
Rhaenyra pinches her mouth with her hand. Now she can only fucking hate herself for the decision she made.
Alicent is sick and she’s in the hospital and Rhaenyra’s not there to hold her hand. She’s probably there alone and all Rhaenyra can think about is how Alicent has always hated hospitals, how she would avoid them unless strictly necessary, how she doesn’t even like going to the doctors’. Rhaenyra was always the one to take her to get seen by one. Alicent said they reminded her of when her mother had been sick.
What if she’s sick like her mum.
Rhaenyra’s stomach drops even more at that thought. She remembers Alicent’s haunted eyes as she told her about her mother.
Please, please, not that.
“Erryck! For Seven’s sake, go faster!” Her driver gives her a curt nod, speeding up as the light turns yellow.
***
It’s completely dark by the time she gets to the hospital. She slams the door not bothering to give Erryck any instructions and runs toward the direction of the emergency room. When she reaches the nurse station, she all but shouts Alicent’s name to the nurse’s face, slamming her hands on the counter.
The nurse barely looks up She must be used to people coming up to her in all states looking for their love ones. The nurse, or Talya as her name tags says, checks her computer before looking back at Rhaenyra.
“Ms. Hightower is currently being brought for an X-ray. Take a seat and I’ll call you once they’ve taken her back.”
“Please, can you tell me what happened?” she pleads, her tone gentler “The lady on the phone hasn’t said much.”
“She was brought in by an ambulance after she fainted at work. She was conscious when she came in but both her saturation and blood pressure were very low. The ER doctor has already seen her and she already ran some blood test and ordered an X-ray for her. Base on her symptoms, it’s probably pneumonia.”
Rhaenyra nods, trying to take all the information in. Pneumonia doesn’t sound as bad as cancer but people still die because of it. It’s still fucking serious, like life threatening serious.
Oh, Alicent.
“Will she be okay?” She asks tentatively. She doesn’t know how she’d react if the answer is negative.
“We’ll have to keep her under observation, see how she responds to the treatment we give her.”
Rhaenyra sighs, runs her hand through her long silver hair. That doesn’t help her calm down on bit. She moves to the seat Talya indicated. She feels dizzy, she needs to sit down.
She stops for a bit thinking who she can call. Her aunt Rhaenys is in charge of all their charity foundations, she probably knows the Chief of this hospital. Is this hospital even good? She grabs her phone. It rings a few of times.
“Who do we know at Kingswood Medical Centre?” She says as soon as she hears the click.
***
After a few minutes the nurse finally leads her through a long line of closed curtained cubicles to the open one in the corner of the room. She braces herself. Talya said Alicent was conscious but she doesn’t know what state she’ll find her.
Last the they spoke, Alicent had been rightfully upset with her, they both were, but Alicent had this hurt in her eyes that Rhaenyra couldn’t stand. The look made Rhaenyra want to take back everything she just had said and take her in her arms, but she couldn’t. So she left the room. Alicent’s whispered last words are haunting her.
“Of course, you’re taking the easy way out. That’s all you ever do.”
And now she’s only a few steps away from where Alicent is. What if she doesn’t want to see her? What if she gets so upset at the sight of Rhaenyra that it makes her condition worse? Rhaenyra needs to see her, needs to see she’s alive and breathing with her own two eyes.
She finds Alicent lying there, back propped up against the headboard. The first thing Rhaenyra notice is the nasal cannula as she sniffs. She looks pale under the fluorescent light. Her mouth turned down the familiar way whenever she’s upset about something. Her big brown eyes are wet and downcast. She’s picking at her nails. They have given her that awful blue hospital gown and Rhaenyra can see the wires peaking out of the collar, they’re connected to the beeping monitor on her bedside. There’s already an IV line attached to the crook of her elbow that leads to a big bag of fluids. Alicent still hasn’t notice Rhaenyra’s presence. She looks so miserable and lost. Rhaenyra feels sick, she can’t stand it.
“Alicent.” Her name escapes Rhaenyra’s mouth almost as a whisper but Alicent hears it. Brown eyes snap up and widen as she takes in Rhaenyra’s presence. It takes a moment before they start to well up. Alicent’s mouth turns even more downwards. Rhaenyra’s feet move and before she knows it she’s clutching Alicents hands. They’re cold and clammy, and she must have been picking at her nails for a while, a few of them are already bloody. Alicent’s grip is weak but she’s still clutching her hand right back. Rhaenyra hasn’t realise how tense she’s been ever since receiving the call. Now Alicent is here, her hands entwined with hers, eyes focused on Rhaenyra’s face like she can’t quite believe she’s here with her.
“I’m here, my love”, she reassures her. “I’m here.” She lowers her head and gently places a kiss on Alicent’s knuckles.
Rhaenyra wants to hug her, to gather her up in her arms, like she’s done a thousand times before whenever she was upset, but she doesn’t want to pull at the tubes and the wires attached to her. Alicent looks so fragile. She sits on the edge of the bed, instead.
A tear falls on Alicent’s cheek. Rhaenyra moves one of her hands to gently wipe it, careful of the nasal cannula. Her skin’s burning and now that she’s close enough, she can see the beads of sweat forming on her hairline.
Alicent closes her eyes and nuzzles Rhaenyra’s hand. She can’t help but caress the soft skin with her thumb.
“What are you doing here?” Her voice sounds so weak.
“They called me. I’m still your emergency contact.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t think to change it. You didn’t have to–”
“Alicent.” Rhaenyra shakes her head, her tone is soft but firm. She doesn’t want her to worry about some silly stuff.
Alicent simply nods, dropping the subject.
The doctor comes in through the curtains, holding a tablet, followed by a nurse.
“Miss Hightower, your X-rays are out.” She stops when she spots Rhaenyra. “And you must be Miss Targaryen. Hello, I’m Dr. Arryn, I’m the Head of Pulmonary Medicine. I’ll been taking care of Miss Hightower from now on.”
Rhaenyra nods, her aunt Rhaenys must have already made some calls.
Alicent frowns but doesn’t comment.
“How is she, doctor?”
“Well, Miss Hightower, you should consider yourself very lucky.” She gives Alicent a pointed look. “It is, as we thought, bacterial pneumonia, but we caught it just in time before it could progress to sepsis.” She gestures at the nurse already attaching a small pouch of liquid to her IV catheter. “We’re going to keep you here for the next few days, at least. We need to see how you respond to the antibiotics and we need to get your saturation levels back to normal without oxygen. There’s a bit of fluid accumulated around your lungs and I want to see if it will resolve itself or if it needs draining. Your fever should go down soon and the coughing should start to go away, too, with the steroids we’re giving you.”
Rhaenyra looks down at Alicent. She’s playing with their entwined fingers, her eyes cast downwards, avoiding eye contact with both her and the doctor. Rhaenyra tucks a few strands of auburn curls behind her ear, so she can see her face better.
“So, she’ll recover completely?”
“It will probably take her a few weeks, even months to get back to 100%. Pneumonia is no joke and coughing should never be ignored especially if it last more than a few days. Like I said Miss Hightower is very lucky.”
Rhaenyra runs her hand through Alicent’s hair; it’s a bit oily and drenched in sweat. She looks so small and frail like this in the blue hospital gown. Rhaenyra’s heart aches to make her feel better.
“Thank you, doctor,” is all she can muster to say.
Dr. Arryn leaves with a promise to come check on Alicent once they’ve moved her to a bed in intensive care.
“This is all so embarrassing.” Alicent mutters. “I really thought it was just a cough. It was so dumb of me.”
“Why didn't you go to the doctor?” Rhaenyra asks, careful not to sound accusatory.
“I just didn’t want to admit I was sick. I didn’t want them to see me as weak. I didn’t want to get pass over for the promotion… and then I had to faint in the middle of a meeting of all times. I can only imagine the scene I caused.” Alicent sniffs, adjusting the cannula.
“Don’t think about that now.” Rhaenyra hushes her. Alicent has always been hard on herself it’s not a surprise she sees her fainting as an embarrassment. “You just have to focus on getting better.”
“I’m just so tired, Rhaenyra.” She chokes out, finally making eye contact with her.
Rhaenyra’s heart aches, again. Alicent seems to be referring to more than just her current condition and Rhaenyra yearns to make it all better for her.
Rhaenyra calms her again, combing through her matted auburn curls.
“Rest. It’s okay, I’ll take care of everything.” She gently scratches at her scalp just as she knows Alicent loves. She can see how drowsy she already is, her eyelids dropping low. With her other hand Rhaenyra adjusts the covers making sure Alicent’s tucked in just how she likes.
“Sleep, my love. I’ll be here when you wake up.” She promises. The world could be going to hell and she’d be right here.
As she kisses her temple, Alicent’s eyes finally flutter close.
***
When Alicent wakes up she’s no longer in one of the brightly lit curtain cubicles in the ER but in a quiet room, the only light coming from the street lights through the window on her left. For a second she wonders if she’s still at the hospital. She feels disorientated. She tried to move but her left hand is completely numb tucked beneath a… soft warm cheek.
Rhaenyra. Asleep on the chair next to her bed. Still holding her hand.
She stayed.
Alicent remembered how her breath caught when she saw Rhaenyra in front of her hospital bed. She had been feeling so lonely and so dumb, fighting tears as she wallowed in self pity. She was picking on her fingers trying to stop herself from reaching for her phone. There was only one person she wanted there with her but she wasn’t sure she would even come; not after she’d ended things with her and left her all alone. Rhaenyra had seemed so convince of her decision, that she had been doing the right thing, Alicent doubted she’d even pick up the phone. Then as if her mind had conjured her out of pure need and want there she was, calling her name.
Rhaenyra.
Alicent stares at her for a few moments, tracing the soft features of Rhaenyra’s face with her eyes, she wants to reach out and ran a finger through that bump on her nose she adores so much, watch Rhaenyra twitch as it tickles her. She doesn’t want to disturb her though, she’s afraid it may all be a dream and Rhaenyra would fade away and she’d wake up alone.
She’s thirsty, though. Her mouth is so dry. She sits up, carefully, but her movements trigger a coughing fit. She wants to keep it down so she won’t wake Rhaenyra but she can’t. Her eyes water from exertion. Next thing she knows there’s a hand rubbing her back. Another adjusting the pillows behind her so she could sit up better.
It takes a few minutes and a disgusting amount of phlegm for the coughing to finally calm. Rhaenyra is still rubbing her back, whiping at her eyes then at her mouth with a tissue, as she finishes spitting up the gross green stuff coming out of her throat. She could feel the soft palm of Rhaenyra’s hand against her naked back, exposed from the hospital gown they changed her into. She feels goosebumps form all over her body. Rhaenyra keeps her hand there even after her breathing comes back to normal. Alicent subtly moves back to feel the pressure of her touch more.
Rhaenyra hands her a bottle of water, eventually. She chugs it down; the liquid calming her irritated throat.
“Slow, slowly.”
She drinks almost half the bottle before passing it back to Rhaenyra. She still feels weak, still feels like shit. She runs her hand through her face, her skin is sticky. She feels so hot she can feel the hospital gown stick to her sweaty chest. She pulls at the nasal cannula before Rhaenyra stops her, readjusting it, tucking the tube behind her hears. She pouts.
Rhaenyra goes through the door next to the bed and emerges a second later with a damp cloth in hand.
“Come on, let me help you.” She offers.
“I’m so hot.” She whines.
Rhaenyra chuckles.
Alicent’s eyes shuts as the damp cloth makes contact with her warm skin. She feels instant relief. When she opens them shes sees those blue eyes that never fail to mesmerise her. Rhaenyra’s face is so close, Alicent can feel her breathe on her. Rhaenyra’s focused on the task, her tongue peaking out from the side of her mouth.
Alicent just stares at her. She has missed her so much. She hasn’t even realised how much she’s been yearning for her until now, until she got her this close again. She feels hot but she welcomes the warmth from Rhaenyra’s proximity. She wants to grab her, to cling to her and never let go. It feels like she can breathe properly for the first time in months. Like the weight on her chest is finally lifted. Maybe she doesn’t even have pneumonia and it’s just her body telling her that it’s missing Rhaenyra.
Rhaenyra moves the cloth down to her neck and Alicent moans deeply at the feeling. Blue eyes snap back at her and Alicent can feel her cheeks pink.
“I’m just so hot.” She pouts.
“That you are.” Rhaenyra says earnestly, smirking.
Alicent shakes her head. If she’s looking even a fraction of how she’s feeling she knows she looks like shit.
“Rhaenyra, my hair is probably like a birds’ nest, I can feel how crusty my eyes are every time I blink and my lips are so chapped I could peel the skin right off them. And I’m so fucking sticky from all the sweating. I can smell my own stench and I know you can, too.” She’s full out whining now.
Rhaenyra shakes her head. “And yet you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Alicent just rolls her eyes. She’s not gonna argue. It’s a lie but she doesn’t want to start a dumb fight. Not now, when she still feels like shit and Rhaenyra’s presence is the only thing soothing her aches. She doesn’t wanna risk Rhaenyra leaving.
Her head lollls to the side, as Rhaenyra gathers the mop of auburn curls to run the cloth to the back of her neck. Her touch is so soft, so gentle. Alicent’s sleepy again.
“It’s still dark. Lay back down.” Rhaenyra urges her, already moving the pillows.
Alicent’s shifts down. She barely has to move, Rhaenyra’s hands manuevering her body until she comfortable. She’s still adjusting the sheets, the pillows as Alicent falls back to sleep.
***
When she comes back to consciousness sunlight’s beginning to peak through the window and Rhaenyra is still there sitting on the chair, dabbing her brow with a cloth.
“Hey, how you feeling?” She asks with that loop-sided smile. “You’re still feverish, but the resident says it’s good you’re sweating it out.”
Alicent responds with a groan. She feels uncomfortably hot, her whole body aches and a groan is the only sound she can muster. She squirms on the bed, she can feel the drenched pillow beneath her head and the hospital gown is wet with sweat, too. Rhaenyra must have gathered her hair in a knot in her sleep, her neck is getting some needed air and she must have pulled the sheets down to her waist. It’s not enough, though, and she kicks them down til her feet are exposed. After a few seconds she huffs, she’s kind of cold now.
Rhaenyra is just watching her, amusement clear in her eyes. She glares at her and pouts. She thinks a moment and, then, she’s lifting her IV free arm to grab at Rhaenyra’s sleeve. She tugs blindly but she understands her. The cloth leaves her skin and she feels the bed dip as Rhaenyra settles on the bed, caressing her cheek with her knuckles. Alicent delights at the feel of her touch but it’s not enough. She needs more. She tugs harder, this time at the collar of her shirt and Rhaenyra has to put her hands on either side of her head to stabilise herself.
“I don’t want to crush you.” Rhaenyra warns her.
Alicent groans, again. Rhaenyra chuckles. Alicent watches her cautiously move the wires and tubes out of the way. A few seconds of rustling, and then finally, finally Rhaenyra’s arms are around her. One hand slips between the back of her head and the pillow and the other grabs at her waist to pull her closer, their legs intertwined. Her eyes immediately flutter shut, savouring the feeling. She could feel Rhaenyra’s breath hitting the side of her face, her warmth enveloping her. She feels Rhaenyra’s nose nuzzling her cheek. Alicent let’s out a happy sigh.
That’s better.
She reaches for hand, entwining their fingers. There’s a voice inside her head telling her she shouldn’t. She knows how much it’ll hurt when she’s feeling better and Rhaenyra’s no longer by her side, but she can’t bring herself to care much about the future, not when she’s surrounded by Rhaenyra and she finally feels safe, like everything’s going to be alright. She drifts back to sleep.
***
It’s not even nine o’clock but Rhaenyra’s pretty sure every nurse in the ward hates her already. They tried to send her away last night, talking about how no family was allowed to be there after visiting hours. She had Dr. Arryn talk to them. She has been perfectly nice to them since and she doesn’t think any of her requests have been outrageous. She just wanted blankets– Alicent had been freezing when she got in the room– and water, ‘cause she keeps cough up, and hypo allergenic pillows so she can prop her up against the headboard so she can better breathe, and a humidifier cause the air in the room is stale. All completely reasonable requests. Even the few times she made them wake up the on-call doctor were justifiable, so she really doesn’t understand the stinky eye they’re all giving her. Well, she might have bitched out on one of the nurses when she told her to get off the bed earlier and maybe it was a bit rude how she threw her family’s name to her face like that but still, Alicent frowned and grumbled in her sleep when Rhaenyra moved away, so it was kind of justified. Right now, Alicent’s comfort is the only thing that matters to her.
She’s ruffling through the duffel bag her assistant Arryck has just brought in. She’s so tired. A nurse had brought in a makeshift bed but she opted to stay on the chair next to the bed. It hasn’t been an easy night. Alicent is even sicker than she initially realised. She had passed out just before they moved her to her room and was pretty much lethargic as Dr. Arryn checked up on her before settling for the night. She was restless all night, her coughing fits waking her up every so often. She barely reacted when the nurses came in to change her medications and IV fluids, she slept through while they checked in on her. Still, even in her sleep she was visibly uncomfortable. She would stir awake, still mostly out of it, either freezing cold or sweating so much. Rhaenyra didn’t want to sleep, she wanted to do everything she could to soothe her, even if it’s just pulling the blanket up and down her body, wiping her forehead with wet cloths, rubbing her back or offering her water, if it provided Alicent even a little bit of comfort she’d do it. Even when Alicent was calm she would still jerk awake every few minutes, needing to make sure she’s alright. She would stare at the monitor, Alicent’s heartbeat, her breathing. She lets the steady beeping comfort her, holding Alicent’s hand all the time.
She goes through her mental list of what she has to do. She already had Arryck bring the stuff she knows Alicent would need and she’s asked him to stay close so he could be there at a moment’s notice in case they need anything. She has the medical certificate signed by Dr. Arryn to send to Alicent’s boss. Alicent will need at least two weeks of complete rest. She wonders if she should bypass all that and just give Lyonel Strong, her boss’ boss, a direct call, he’s a family friend after all. Alicent was already worried about work yesterday but she doesn’t want to overstep. Then there’s the matter of Alicent’s father. Otto lives three hours away all the way back in Oldtown. She doesn’t know if she should give him a call, last she knew Alicent wasn’t speaking to him.
She goes through the clothes; there’s enough for the both of them for the next few days. Alicent had taken almost all her stuff when she moved all those months ago and she didn’t want to send Arryck to go through Alicent’s stuff in her new place. It’s mostly clothes Alicent had appropriated, anyway. Her grey pull over from university, a couple of sweaters, those loose sleep shorts Alicent loves so much, the large worn out T-shirts she’s had since forever, bathrobes, towels, a few socks and underwear. Then there are Alicent’s shampoo and body wash and other toiletries, bottles of which just keep showing up to her flat since she never took them off her subscription list. She wants to make sure everything’s there. Surely Alicent will want to freshen up once she’s woken up.
“Good morning!” The nurse greets as she enters. “I have to draw some blood.”
Alicent jerks awake and Rhaenyra’s there by her side in a few steps. She bites her tongue, trying not to snap at the nurse. Alicent’s a bit disorientated. It always takes her a bit of time to properly wake up but even more so now. Back when they first started living together Rhaenyra had learned the only way to not have a grumpy Alicent in the mornings was to set their alarm clock ten minutes early and wake her properly with kisses and cuddles. Alicent never admitted to it but Rhaenyra noticed the great difference.
Rhaenyra puts her hand on her shoulder, thumb caressing the delicate skin of her neck, grounding her with her touch.
“It’s okay, my love.” She reassures her with a quick kiss on the crown of her head as Alicent rubs her eyes off of sleep.
The nurse, Jessamyn, asks for her arm. Alicent, only half conscious, offers it to her. She winces as the nurse punctures her skin with the needle and draws her blood.
Rhaenyra kisses her temple and moves her arm around her shoulders to distract her. It’s quick, the nurse thankfully not showing her resentment towards Rhaenyra on Alicent, and she’s done before Alicent can fully take in what’s happening. She stays cuddled to Rhaenyra’s side, moving her newly free hand to play with the bottoms of Rhaenyra’s shirt.
“Breakfast should be here soon.” The nurse sets a small cup full of various tablets and pills. “Take the small one before eating and the rest after, okay.”
Rhaenyra moves to see which one she’s indicating careful not to jostle Alicent, tuck to her side, her arm around her shoulders. She nods at the nurse. She’s got it.
“And then you can wash up if you want.”
Alicent nods eagerly. “Yes, I’d like that.” She’s been complaining since last night about feeling sweaty, Rhaenyra wiping her face and neck with the wet cloth was obviously not enough for her. Even in her current state, Rhaenyra can’t help but nuzzle her hair. She doesn’t smell as bad as she thinks.
“Unfortunately you can’t have a shower.” Jessamyn says, sympathetically. “You have to say in bed unless you need to use the bathroom. Your saturation and blood pressure are still low.” She gestures at the monitor. “I’ll leave you with these sponges. They already have soap and there’s no need to rinse after. If you need any help you can call us but I’m pretty sure your girlfriend’s got you.”
Alicent stiffens, her grip on Rhaenyra’s shirt tightening. Rhaenyra opens her mouth to correct her but closes it right after. Obviously the nurses think they’re together with way she’s been annoying them all night and morning. Alicent says nothing and just tucks her head into the crook of her neck.
Jessamyn sets everything on the bedside table and leaves.
“You don’t have to.” Alicent says, voice muffled by Rhaenyra’s sweater.
Rhaenyra pulls back a bit so she can meet her eyes. “I want to.”
Alicent nods and buries her face back into her neck. “Thank you.”
Rhaenyra’s heart clenches. She tightens her arms around her. She wants to say so much but now is not the time. When Alicent’s finally recovered they’ll talk, she promises to herself. Now, she just wants Alicent to lean on her without having to think or worry about what’s gonna happen to them. She want her to know she’s not going anywhere.
Breakfast comes and Alicent has no appetite. She’s too weak Rhaenyra has to feed her the few biscuits she manages to stomach so she can take her medicine.
Dr. Arryn comes in, followed by the resident Rhaenyra had sent for earlier, when she woke up and Alicent had been burning up. Rhaenyra’s not sure she trusts Dr Stark; he looks barely out of Med school. Dr. Arryn reassures them, she talks mostly to Rhaenyra since Alicent’s about ready to go back to sleep. She answer all of her questions. Alicent is responding to the treatment and her blood results are already better. She should start feeling better in a day or so. She still has to stay in bed and be kept under strict observation.
As the doctors leave, Rhaenyra settles down next to Alicent on the bed. Even lying on her side, Rhaenyra has to be careful not to fall off. Alicent hums in her sleep and instinctively moves to make room for her, so Rhaenyra can hold her better. She puts her hand on her chest just so she can feel her breathing.
***
“No, Arryck, I told you not to bother me.”
Her eyes flutter open to see Rhaenyra crouched at the far end of the room, hissing on the phone.
“If Orwyle needs something he needs to go to Lyman.” She’s clearly trying to keep her voice down, even through her frustration.
Alicent sits up, stretching her aching muscles. She’s feeling a tad better compared to the hell she was in last night- or was it this morning? She’s not sure. She doesn’t remember falling asleep after talking to Dr. Arryn. The sun outside is bright; she has no idea what time it is.
She needs to pee. She moves her legs off the bed, but before her feet can touch the floor Rhaenyra’s there.
“The nurse said you can remove the oxygen and the monitor to go to the bathroom but we have to drag all of this with us.” She gestures to the IV stand. She swiftly unplugs the wires attached to her from the monitor and then helps Alicent stand up.
She’s weaker than she actually thought; Rhaenyra’s arm around her carrying most of her weight. She’s already panting by the time they get to the bathroom.
Rhaenyra quickly lifts her gown so she can push her underwear down. Once she’s seated on the toilet, Rhaenyra leaves. Alicent frowns for a second, wondering if she’s made Rhaenyra uncomfortable. They were together for two years, they barely blinked if one peed in the bathroom in front of the other, but things clearly have changed. She’s already asking too much of Rhaenyra as it is. It’s okay if she wants to set her boundaries. Before she could overthink Rhaenyra’s back with wet wipes, toiletries and a fresh set of clothes.
“Thought we might as well, since we already made the trip.” Rhaenyra announces. “I’ve asked them to change the sheets, too.”
Rhaenyra helps her wipe between her legs and crouches down to change her underwear. Alicent blushes the whole time. She hopes it could pass as an effect of the fever.
Rhaenyra moves her to a chair in front of the sink. Alicent sees herself in the mirror. She looks just about as good as she smells; her hair a mess of knots and tangles, her eye bags so dark, her cheeks more caved in than she remembered from yesterday morning. She quickly washes her faces and brushes her teeth. She’s already feeling loads better. She’s dabbing her face with a soft towel when Rhaenyra tugs at the knot of her hospital gown, silently asking for permission. She nods and it falls smoothly off her shoulders.
“Here, lift a bit,” Rhaenyra taps at her arms, pulls gently at the gown and then she’s completely bare from the waist up.
Rhaenyra makes quick work of it. She passes the wet sponge through her neck and the chest, mindful of the adhesive pads and wires attached to her; her back then her limbs and armpits. Rhaenyra’s meticulous. She drapes a towel on her shoulders as soon as she’s done.
Alicent’s helping dry herself when she notice her neck is bare. The gold chain she wears all the time isn’t there anymore, and neither is the ring it’s looped around. Rhaenyra’s ring that she gave to her for their first anniversary. The one she used to wear everyday on her finger up until a few months ago. She panics, thinking back to when she might have lost it.
“It’s in the bag with all your other stuff.” Rhaenyra reassures her, instantly knowing what she’s worried about.
Alicent remembers the delight on Rhaenyra’s face seeing the ring as she unbottoned her shirt that first time they hooked up after their second break up.
“I knew it.”
She wants to ask Rhaenyra for it but instead she simply nods. She feels even more naked without it.
She lets Rhaenyra put on her shorts and figure out how to put the T-shirt with the IV still attached to her. she just lifts her leg or arm whenever she asks. Alicent’s already exhausted by the time they get back to the bed.
She lets Rhaenyra fuss, changing her socks, adjusting and readjusting the pillows, the blankets, the wires. The sheets are fresh and comfy and Rhaenyra’s movements reassure her she’s not alone. She’s dozing off again.
She remembers she still has to call in at work.
“Need my phone,” she groans.
Rhaenyra sighs. “Whatever for? You can barely keep your eyes open. Rest.” She tucks her tight beneath the blanket.
“I need to call Criston.” She says, sitting up. “I need to explain why I can’t make it in today.”
Rhaenyra huffs. “I know the guy’s not the brightest but he probably saw you be taken by the paramedics. He knows why you’re not at work, Alicent.”
“Yes, but I need to warn him I won’t be able to make it tomorrow, either.”
“Tomorrow and the next two weeks. At least.” She points out.
“No, Dr. Arryn said a ‘few days.’ I’ll probably be out of here by tomorrow.”
“Uhuh.” Rhaenyra sits on the chair, making it point to prop her feet on the bed.
“Rhaenyra, please.”
“Well, I’ve already talked to Lyonel. He understands. He got pneumonia once, too.” She says nonchalantly. “He said he better not see you come in before the two weeks are out.”
Alicent breathes, trying not to get irritated. “Rhaenyra, you don’t understand. I can’t afford to miss-“
“No, you don’t understand.” Rhaenyra interrupts her, suddenly back on her feet. “You almost died, Alicent! Do you even realise that? Do you even realise how bad it could have got?! How sick you fucking are right now?!” She inhaled sharply. “I–I almost lost you and here you are not even a day later talking about fucking work.”
She stops abruptly, realising she was almost yelling at Alicent.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–“ Rhaenyra’s getting choked up, tears falling from her cheeks.
Alicent can’t stand seeing her like this. She feels guilty. Rhaenyra suddenly seems so broken, so scared. She hasn’t left her side since last night, always staying at an arm reach, she doubts she even slept at all last night. Last night must have been rough for Rhaenyra, too; her eye bags a proof of that. She’s still wearing her clothes from work, her long silver hair pulled up in a rough ponytail, she clearly hasn’t taken time for herself. Alicent feels sorry. She can’t even imagine how she’d be feeling, how she’d be acting if their roles were reversed.
Probably way, way worse.
“No, I’m sorry.” She tugs at Rhaenyra’s hand. Strong arms quickly envelope her. Rhaenyra’s hold is tight, like she’s afraid of letting her go.
“You scared me so much, love.” Rhaenyra whispers against her temple.
Alicent can only cling onto her harder. “I know, I’m sorry.”
***
She listens to Rhaenyra when she tells her to eat. The dinner Arryck brought is better than the hospital one she flat out refused to eat, but she still doesn’t have much appetite.
She tries to relax and not think about much, she’s still so tired. She’s cuddled next to Rhaenyra as she reads her a novel. Alicent’s barely paying attention to the story, enjoying the vibrations coming from Rhaenyra’s chest beneath her cheek more, her fingers playing with the soft fabric of the sweater she’s now changed into.
She thinks how she could have ever let anything ruin this, ruin them.
The next day passes more of the same. She’s still too exhausted to do anything but at least her fever is gone. She’s more alert, too.
Rhaenyra’s on her phone, typing away. She’s freshly showered; Alicent stares at her with a bit of envy. Rhaenyra helped her wash up again but she still would like a proper shower or, maybe, even a bath.
“You know you don’t have to stay her all day, right?” She says, trying to untangle the mess that is her hair. Rhaenyra put on some dry shampoo but it’s still full of knots.
Rhaenyra puts her phone away and moves to Alicent’s side.
“I know. I want to, though.”
“You don’t have to be locked in this room just because I am.” She avoids eye contact.
“And where else would I be?” She asks playfully.
“I don’t know. Work? I’m pretty sure it’s Thursday.”
“It’s actually Friday. You slept for an entire day.”
Alicent frowns, thinking. Could she really have slept that much she missed a whole entire day?
Rhaenyra chuckles. “I’m fucking with you.”
She glares at her.
“You must be feeling better if you can glare at me like that.” She pokes at her side, where she knows it tickles.
Alicent shrieks. Rhaenyra wiggles her fingers some more.
“No, stop– Rhaenyra!” She shouts through her laughs.
Jessamyn enters just as Alicent has a coughing fit. She looks disapprovingly at Rhaenyra but doesn’t comment. She simply puts the medications on the table.
“After dinner.” She says as she leaves the room.
Alicent nods, chastised.
“Sorry.” She kisses Alicent’s cheek as her coughing calms, rubs at her back. “I need to make a big fat donation to this ward.”
***
Alicent spends the next day whining about how she wants to leave. She’s still weak and lethargic but she’s more aware of her surroundings and she probably remembers now, how much she hates hospitals.
Rhaenyra sighs, trying to placate her.
“Alicent, just because you’re feeling a bit better doesn’t mean you can leave. It’ll be just a few more day.”
Alicent pouts dramatically. They’ve removed the monitors and her breathing is better she hasn’t needed the nasal cannula the whole day, but that doesn’t mean she’s fine now. She’s still a bit pale and she’s getting even more frail by the day. She’s regained a bit of appetite, barely she stills barely picks at the food Rhaenyra orders.
“Rhaenyra,” she whines, dramatically, her brown eyes wide. “Can’t you pull some strings?”
”Who says I know someone here?” She asks, innocently.
”I’m sure the Head of the Pulmonary Medicine just gives out her personal number to everyone.” Alicent says pointedly.
So Rhaenyra might have given Dr. Arryn a call after only her resident showed up this morning. She just wanted to make sure she could trust anything Dr. Stark was saying.
“Come on, Rhaenyra,” Alicent pleads. “I’ll be good, I promise. I’ll follow whatever instructions the give me. I just can’t be here anymore.”
Alicent has a private room and Rhaenyra has done everything to make it as cozy as possible for her, but she knows everytime a nurse or a doctor enters Alicent is reminded of where she actually is.
Rhaenyra climbs behind her on the bed. Now that Alicent only has the IV, she can cuddle her more freely. She kisses her in quick succession on her neck, jaw and finally cheek. Rhaenyra thinks she’s maybe getting too used to touch her like this again. She feels a bit guilty that maybe she’s taking advantage of Alicent’s weak state, but Alicent’s pout is immediately replaced by a smile, Rhaenyra can’t resist kissing her dimple.
Rhaenyra sighs, giving in. “Alright, I’ll ask her when she comes later tonight.
I’’m not promising anything, though.”
Alicent’s smile still widens. Rhaenyra’s heart clenches. She’d do anything to keep her smiling like that.
“In the meantime, we can put on whatever film you want.” She gestures to her laptop. She knows the answer before Alicent even responds.
“Pride & Prejudice.”
Rhaenyra simply nods. She sets the film and lets Alicent settle more comfortably with her back against her chest, her hips bracketed between her legs. She rubs at her belly as Alicent tucks her head into the crook of her neck. She watches contently as Mr. Darcy confesses his love in the rain.