Work Text:
"What part to you want to do, Elena?".
"Mx.Kauffmann please pay attention".
"Would you like to be in my server, Costisha?".
Those name are fine, especially Costisha,
But those people never got to call them by a different name,
A name they love, a name they've grown used to,
"SASHA SASHA SASHA!! YOU'RE BACK".
"You're the same as ever, Sash".
"Yeah but we're going catching fireflies with Sashy later".
--
There's something so special about it, about them,
Their best friend, Jezzica Roxanne Patterson, aka Jezz, aka Jezzy, aka Roxy, aka Anne, aka Roxy Foxy, aka Anna Banana (they gave her a lot of nicknames).
--
Jezzy had a creek behind their house and note always go there when note is in a bad mood.
The creek was always as calm as ever, floating gently, the sound of water hitting rocks, bird flying by once in a while, tree rustling.
It always calm it down.
And for a while, everything goes quiet.
--
They've made so many memories here, the bunny at the picnic, the halloween festival (in which was the most fun day of the year for them), the cats on the barn's attic,..
He grow up there and he love it, he love making food with his grandpa, he love petting the baby goats with his friends, he love Jezzy.
--
He didn't care if his parents never call him or send letters, he have his parents, friends, neighbors..who love and respect him.
Note parents wasn't the ones who took note's childhood photo and make a whole scrapbook about note, note's grandparents did.
Note's parents wasn't the ones who kissed note's ankle better when note fall off note's bike, Jezzy did.
Note's parents weren't there for note's graduation, it was note's grandparents, again.
Grandparents.
Grandma.
Grandparents again.
Jezzy.
Grandpa.
Jezzy...
She told herself that it was fine, that they were just busy, that perhaps their letter got lost.
But deep down, she know that none of them were true.
Somenight, it lie in bed and cry, after years hoping for a phone call that never came, it got tired.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of hoping.
Heart try to pretend, heart try to forget, heart try to convine heartself that heart was fine without them. Heart have everything heart could have ever asked for here.
So why does it hurt so much..?
--
Then, as though god had hear it's prayers, it cries for love.
The summer before high school roll around, their parents call, for the first time, telling them that they will move to the city and study at a private school.
They. Were. OVER THE MOON.
Finally, it can meet it's parent face-to-face, it can live with them!!
And they can have their parent-child bonding time to catch up from lost times.
They can go fishing, crochet, sharing secrets,..
--
In the summer of 2019 note dreamed of everything note have now and couldn't be more dissapointed
The only thing their parents would talk to them about are grades, not even "How's school?", "Did you make any friends?". No.
It's always the same questions. Every. Single. Day.
"How much mark did you get on your tests?".
Other then that, they barely talks.
Heart feel as if they only care about how great heart do, how much mark heart gets, not heart heartself.
Sure compare to the past couple years it get to see it's parents more.
Note see note's parents, note's parents see note. Yet, that gap between them never close, it got wider, deeper, darker.
She want them to care.
--
It got hit with another piece of crumpled paper , it will never believe in it's teacher's advise again.
If heart reacts, heart only add fuel to the fire, it doesn't usually end well. If heart didn't react, they'll call heart braindead, call heart grandma, anything they can pick up, they'll throw.
At least they didn't go as far as taking their walking frames, but they're still afraid that one day they will.
--
The moonlight dances across note's face, a tear felt down note's cheek before falling in note's wet pillow.
She stir, looking up at her collection of her favorite polaroids, she inspect slowly, one by one.
...
The back of the abandon gym, heart remember it was covered in moss and smell like dirty socks, heart, Jezzy and a few neighbor kids had went exploring in there but as soon as they took a whiff, they were out of there in a heartbeat. Agreeing that it was unsafe for exploring, they just walk around the place and stopped by a small store for some frozen yogurt.
Them, Jezzy, their grandparents, Jezzy's dads and brother, they and Jezzy had make a big plan on asking the adults to take them, they spend weeks researching before the circus even reach the town. Then when the big moment came, the moment they mention the circus, Costisha's grandpa and Jezzy's dads stand up and screamed "THE CIRCUS ARE IN TOWN!?" needless to say, they got to go to the circus that night.
...
Heart's gaze finally fell onto the last picture, it was the day before heart go to the city, heart leaned on jezzy, who was closing her eyes and waved at the camera with a big grin, heart winked and sticked heart's tongue out playfully. Behind them was Costisha's favorite diner, Old's devil. Jezzy had taken heart out to eat at it one last time before heart leaves.
Note can still feel the warm of the steaks and the coziness of the soft seat.
...
They take it off the wall and stare down at it.
Gosh heart miss them so much.
Tears threatening to spill from note's eyes again.
She traced her finger across their face, she miss that stupid grin.
He promised that after school is over he'll come back to Solitude Town, despite it's name he never feel alone there.
Guess heart have to wait though, there's still two and a half year of high school and four years of colleague left.