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Lucy sits on the toilet, waiting for the timer to go off. Tim and her have now been married for a year. They both agreed to wait to try for a baby. Lucy wanted to get further into her career and enjoy time with just the two of them. About six months ago, they had a scare and decided to move forward with trying for a baby. Neither were getting younger and they both wanted at least two kids.
As Lucy sits, waiting once again for the timer, she feels discouraged. She didn’t expect this right away, but they’ve had two more negative tests. She isn’t sure she can handle another one. The timer goes off and she slowly turns the test over. Negative.
Lucy throws the test down and starts balling. She knows it hasn’t been that long, but it’s the worst feeling. She curls in a ball on the bathroom floor. This is how Tim finds her about an hour later. He sees the test on the floor and he knows without even looking. It was negative. He thinks.
“Come here baby.” He murmurs pulling Lucy into his lap. He holds her and kisses her head.
“I’m sorry Tim. I’m so sorry.” Lucy cries.
“Baby, you don’t need to apologize. It will happen.”
“I can’t even give you a baby.” She whispers. He continues rubbing her back and kisses her head again.
“It’ll happen Luce. It’s okay.” He keeps whispering into her head.
They sit there for a while more. Lucy looks up at Tim and he gives her a soft kiss on the lips. “I love you Lucy. No matter what.” She holds his hand on her face and leans into it. “Why did you do it alone?”
Lucy looks up at him. “I didn’t want to disappoint you again.”
“You are not disappointing me baby. We just need to give it time. Okay?” Tim smiles at Lucy.
“Okay.” She whispers. They both stand up and go to eat dinner. Tim holds Lucy close the whole night. Tim wants to take this pain away, but it will happen. He truly believes that. He just worries about his wife. Lucy wants this more than anything and she deserves to be a mom. She will be the best mom.
Over the next few weeks, they go about their normal routines and don’t talk about the negative tests. They enjoy every minute of trying. They are very good at naked times.
Lucy is sitting at her desk, finishing up paperwork for a case they closed. She is a detective working alongside Nyla and Angela now. She feels a hand on her back ands smiles up when she realizes it’s Tim.
“Hey babe.” Lucy smiles up at him.
“Hi beautiful.” He whispers in her ear. “How was your day?”
“It was good. We got a confession.” Lucy says excitedly.
Nyla jumps in. “No you got a confession.” She smirks.
Tim smiles proudly and Lucy blushes. Tim normally does not come to get her at the end of the day. “What are you doing here anyways babe?” She inquires.
“Angela asked me to meet her here. She wants to talk to us.” Lucy is confused and Tim shrugs.
Angela and Wes walk up to everyone. “Hey guys.” She smiles. “So we have an announcement.”
Wes blurts out: “We’re pregnant again!” There are cheers around, except from Lucy. She freezes. Her chest tightens. Tim notices, of course he does. Lucy just turns around and runs. The tears won’t stop. Tim goes after her. This gathers everyone’s attention. Everyone’s confused.
Tim walks back, frazzled, after about ten minutes. They all look at him. “I’m sorry everyone.” He chokes out.
Angela looks worried. “What’s wrong Tim?”
“We’ve been trying Ange. There’s been so many negative tests and it’s been so hard on Lucy.” He whispers.
“I am so sorry Tim. I didn’t know.” Angela pulls him into a hug. He lets some tears fall.
“I’m so happy for you Ange. Jack and Emmy are the luckiest kids and so is this new baby.” Angela smiles. “I need to go home to my wife. She took the car and left.”
Grey walks up behind him. “I’ll drive you.” Tim hugs Angela and congratulates her once again.
They drive to Tim and Lucy’s house in silence. “It’ll happen son.” Wade tells him.
“She deserves this. She will be a wonderful mom.” Tim says. He thanks Wade and walks inside. He finds Lucy curled in their bed.
He slips his shoes off and slips into bed, pulling her in tight. “I’m so sorry Tim.” She cries.
“Shhh it’s okay baby.” He rubs her back.
“No it’s not. All I could think was how unfair it is. Angela has no issue getting pregnant. It’s not her fault, but it sucks. Why can’t we get pregnant?”
“Baby, it’s normal to feel this way. Your doctor said it could take time. We’ll give it a bit more time before worrying okay?” She just nods and curls into Tim.
“I need to talk to Angela. I feel so awful.” Lucy murmurs.
“I told her. She is worried more than anything.” They lay in silence when they hear the doorbell.
Tim slips out of bed and answers it. It’s Angela and Wes with the kids. “Where’s Lucy?” Angela says as Jack runs to Tim.
“Uncle Tim!” He screeches. Tim picks him and hugs him.
“In our room.” He whispers. Wes and Tim take the kids outside to play.
Angela quietly knocks and walks in. She sits on the bed and Lucy looks at her. She realizes it’s Angela and bursts into tears again. “I’m so sorry.” She manages to get out in between tears.
Angela pulls her into a hug and holds her. “Lucy it’s okay. I am so sorry this is happening.” She continues to soothe her.
Angela looks Lucy in the eyes. “You’ll have a baby. It is taking a little longer, but you’ll have one. There’s no one who deserves to be parents more than you and Tim. That baby will be so lucky. Well if it’s a girl, she won’t date until she’s 30.” Lucy chuckles.
“I’m so happy for you and Wes. This is one lucky baby.” Lucy says. “I am sorry for running off. It caught me by surprise and it’s been hard.”
Lucy stands up and hugs Angela again. “I get it Luce. You don’t need to apologize. I call dibs on godmother.” Lucy chuckles. “Now let’s go rescue my children and order pizza.”
They walk outside and enjoy a night with their friends and honorary niece and nephew. That night Tim pulls Lucy to her before they get into bed.
“I love you.” He kisses her softly. She looks at him and sees the love in his eyes. She was sure it would be disappointment, but it never was.
“I love you too.” She kisses him back. He makes love to her that night. All his love was put into it and it was perfect. They don’t lack in that area, but tonight felt different. It was truly incredible. Lucy wonders how she got so lucky.
The next two months go by quickly. Lucy decides to stop worrying about getting pregnant and taking tests. She feels more defeated each time, even with Tim’s reassurance. The result hurts every single time. She throws herself into work more and more.
She slowly comes back to herself as she thinks about it less and that puts a smile on Tim’s face. Lucy’s smile is one his favorite things and he hates seeing her sad. They’ve been trying for almost ten months to have a baby. Lucy stopped taking tests and was trying not to stress too much.
Last week Angela found out she was having another boy. Lucy sobbed and hugged her friend. She couldn’t contain her excitement. It was Saturday and Nolan was finally marrying Bailey. They wanted to enjoy their engagement and were not in a rush to get married.
Lucy was getting ready. She was wearing an emerald green dress that made Tim’s mouth go dry. God she is so damn gorgeous. Tim thinks. He goes behind her and wraps his arms around her from behind.
“You are incredible and look absolutely gorgeous.” Tim growls in her ear. She turns around and kisses him.
“I promise you can take it off me later, but if you ruin my makeup I’ll hurt you.” She winks. He slaps her butt as she sashays away.
They arrive at the wedding and it’s beautiful. The reception is in full swing and Tim can’t keep his eyes off Lucy. Neither are drinking tonight as they want to enjoy each other. They arrive home that not and as promised, Lucy lets Tim undress her. They had a wonderful night.
Two months later, Lucy’s sitting in the kitchen at 2 in the morning. Tim walks out looking for her.
“Are you okay Luce?” His voice ladled with sleep.
“It’s been a year since we have started trying for a baby Tim and still nothing.”
“We can talk your doctor. Why don’t you make an appointment?” Lucy nods and they head to bed.
She makes the call in the morning and they can squeeze her in that day since they had a cancellation. Tim has training he can’t get out of so he can’t go with her. Lucy runs some errands after her appointment since she has the day off.
When Tim comes that night, the house is quiet. He walks into their room and sees a box on the bed, but no Lucy.
“Lucy, baby.” He calls out. He slowly opens the box and his eyes go wide as he pulls the items out. He has tears in his eyes.
Dodgers onesie
Rams baby jersey with Bradford on the back
Baby booties
Onesie that says “daddy’s favorite”
Frame with an ultrasound
He chokes out a sob and hears Lucy behind him,
“Lucy.” He whispers. “You’re pregnant baby?”
She nods, the tears falling. “They confirmed it today. They ran bloodwork to be safe. I had no idea, but it explains the exhaustion and my emotions. Also, this was definitely the night of Nolan’s wedding.” They both chuckle.
Tim walks over to her and hugs her before kneeling. He kisses her belly. “I love you so much already.” Lucy smiles and rubs her hands through Tim’s hair. He stands back up. “I’m going to be a daddy”. He says, kissing Lucy. “Thank you baby.”
“You’ll be the best dad. They’re so lucky.” They celebrate and enjoy each others company.
At twelve weeks they tell their friends who celebrate with them. Angela gives them both a big hug. At twenty weeks, they do a gender reveal. It’s a girl! The sign reads.
They’re both elated. They decorate the nursery and get it ready. Finding a name is so hard. They decide on Zoe, after their beloved captain. She was important to them both.
At 38 weeks, Lucy’s water breaks at work when Tim’s on a call. She has been feeling pains for about 8 hours but didn’t think it was labor. She just wants Tim. Nyla makes her go to the hospital and waits until Tim can get there.
Lucy’s only five centimeters dilated when Tim arrives. He runs in and Lucy reaches for him. She squeezed him as another contraction hits. Nyla quietly leaves, she knows this is something intimate between them. Tim is by her side for the next eighteen hours until their daughter is placed on Lucy’s chest.
Tim and Lucy are both sobbing. He whispers to her. “I’m so proud of you. Thank you baby. I love you.” He kisses her forehead and goes to be with Zoe while Lucy is cleaned up.
He brings their little girl for Lucy to hold and admires as she feeds Zoe.
Angela and Wes come visit first. Angela tears up holding her goddaughter.
“Meet Zoe Anne Bradford.” Tim says proudly.
He is so grateful for his family and is so proud of Lucy. He loves them both more than anything. Being a dad is the greatest gift.
When Zoe is eight months old, Lucy finds out she’s pregnant again. “I guess it wasn’t so hard this time.” Tim jokes and Lucy glares.
Seven months later, their son is born. Lucas Greyson Bradford. It was a tough journey, but they wouldn’t change anything about it.