Chapter Text
The Palace theatre, interior, night
Open on an old fashioned theatre decorated in red velvet, gilt carvings, and gold tassels. Layers of old theatre posters on the wall are covered with new, art nouveau style posters that advertise Tufnell’s Marvels and Tufnell’s Wonderous Circus with pictures of acrobats, trapeze artists, dancers and a magician. Brass candelabras shine with flickering light along the walls. The curtain is drawn across the stage.
Cut to blackness. The darkness is pierced by a torch beam clicking on, showing the stage area, with curtains, set pieces and stage equipment. Three more beams appear, swinging chaotically in different directions, illuminating ropes, catwalks and lighting trusses above. We hear footsteps, thumps and bumps as well as muttering voices, growing louder.
Holly (voice): Ouch! Jesus, George that was my foot.
George (voice): Sorry.
Lucy (voice): Who is that?
Lockwood (voice): Has anybody found the stage lights? Ah… that’ll do.
The curtains open, revealing the theatre beyond and allowing the house lights to illuminate the stage dimly. Kipps steps out from the backstage area with a torch in hand, which he flicks off and stows.
The others are standing about the stage. Holly is holding her foot. George is looking up at the lighting trusses and catwalk above, torch still on. Lockwood and Lucy are standing awkwardly back to back and step apart as soon as they realise, eyes moving shiftily. Lucy still has the white streak in her hair, though it's cut shorter.
Lucy (to Kipps): How did you know how to do that?
Kipps: Done a few jobs in theatres in my time. They tend to be full of history and hot tempers.
The five of them gather in a rough circle in the middle of the stage.
Holly: So, according to the theatre owner, they lost their magician’s apprentice, Sid Morrison, last week. They thought it was a suicide at first until one of the stage hands reported seeing Sid coming back here with one of their trapeze artists only a few minutes before he was found dead. Since the girl in question was at the time having a liaison with the strongman, they realised something odd was going on. The next day they brought in a Sensitive who confirmed the presence of a visitor.
Kipps: Sounds like a fetch.
Lucy’s face twitches uncomfortably, glancing at Lockwood. Holly nods at George.
George: Could be. The ghost is likely that of an escape artist from the 1920’s who died onstage during an act.
George produces a poster with the title “La Belle Dame Sans Merci in The Sultan’s Revenge” that shows a beautiful, scantily dressed woman, lying atop an ornate casket surrounded by swords. The poster is passed around the group.
George (cont’d): She was very popular at the time, beautiful but famously heartless and cruel. She left a string of jilted lovers and jealous wives wherever she went. Newspapers from the time intimated that someone sabotaged her escape act leading to her death, but there were so many suspects that no arrests were ever made.
Kipps (passing the poster to Lockwood): Not bad looking, is she Tony?
Lockwood: Don’t call me that, Kipps, or I’ll think twice about hiring you to consult with us in future.
Kipps chuckles. Lockwood barely glances at the poster before handing it to Lucy with a carefully neutral expression.
Lucy: La Belle Dame Sans Merci. That’s a mouthful.
George: That was just her stage name. Her real name was Doris Blower, from Eastbourne.
Kipps snorts.
Lockwood (to everyone): Alright, you all know what to do.
Quick cuts of the agents setting up a circle, taking temperature measurements, searching the theatre, looking in drawers and storage closets with their torches.
The team is spread throughout the theatre, Holly in the auditorium, Kipps backstage. Lucy stands in the middle of the dimly lit stage, looking around. She pulls her backpack off and uncovers the skull in his ghost jar. Behind her George is taking a temperature reading with Lockwood nearby.
George (to Lockwood in the background): Cold spot here where the apprebtice supposedly jumped from the catwalk up above.
Lockwood (looking up at the catwalk): Not surprising.
Lucy (to the skull): Sense anything?
Skull: Ooh, I’ve always wanted to go to the theatre. Stepping up our dates now, are we?
Lucy: This isn’t a date
Lockwood glances over, quirking an eyebrow. Lucy waves him off.
Lucy: Look, either be helpful or I’m going to drop you in a hole in the back garden when we get home.
Skull: See, this is why I never wanted to come back to Lockwood and Co. You just don’t value me anymore. You don’t even believe me about Marissa Fittes!
Lucy: This really isn’t the time for that. (Beat) God, you’re useless.
Lucy stands in the middle of the stage and tunes in. She hears a cacophony of laughter, applause, singing, shouting. She furrows her brows in concentration. The noise dies away and instead she gets a clearer set of sounds: seductive music, a woman’s voice, a door shutting, crescendoing music, the sound of swords being thrust into wood, wild applause, then a scream. She opens her eyes and sees a tall, painted box in a spotlight at the front of the stage. Swords are sticking out of it. Blood is beginning to pool around the base.
Lucy: Doris? Can you hear me?
Lucy reaches out toward the box, taking a step toward it. The music swells again then cuts out as the vision vanishes. Lucy blinks surprised and looks around disoriented. Lockwood steps up behind her. George is still in the background, absorbed im his temperature map.
Lockwood: You okay?
Lucy turns bringing her face to face with Lockwood. The two stand close, in their own little world. Lockwood reaches his hand out absentmindedly brushing his fingertips lightly against her hand. Her fingers twitch in response as she looks into his eyes.
Lucy (distractedly): Yeah, fine.
Kipps emerges from the auditorium with his ghost goggles on. When he speaks Lockwood and Lucy step apart hastily, Lucy looking flustered, Lockwood smiling and unconcerned.
Kipps (pushing the goggles up): Either these goggles have stopped working or this ghost is being coy.
Lucy: I got something just now.
Lockwood: Did you hear her death loop?
Lucy: It was more than that. She’s angry but… secretive, almost. I don’t think she was ever the type to confront things head on. She was manipulative. She liked having power over other people and bending them to her will.
George (from the back of the stage): Probably why she liked married men.
Lucy: But she’s not powerful now and she’s angry about it. I think she’ll be cautious about attacking a big group like ours.
Lockwood (to the group): Maybe we need to spread out a bit, give her an easier target. But don’t go off alone, stay where someone can see you at all times.
The Palace theatre, balcony, night
Lucy emerges from a set of stairs up onto the theatre balcony with the skull glowing in her backpack. She glances down and sees Holly below her in the stalls.
Lucy: Skull? Are you still sulking? (Beat) You know, it’s not that we don’t believe you about Penelope being Marissa. We just need proof.
Skull: Me! I’m the proof!
Lucy: Oh yeah, so you’re going to tell Barnes what you saw, are you?
Skull: No, you can translate for me.
Lucy: I would have to tell him what I can do.
Skull: So? You’ll have to tell the world sooner or later, won’t you?
Lucy considers this.
Lucy: I’m… not sure I ever want to, actually.
Skull: What? But how else will you cash in on your amazing Talent? You can’t think Lockwood will let you keep this a secret forever.
Lucy: He will if I ask him to. Besides, it’s not like Barnes would even believe me.
Skull: Sure he will. I’ll just make faces at him until he does.
Lucy: Sometimes it’s hard to believe you had a brain once.
Skull: Hmmph. I may not have a brain but at least I can sense when a ghost is trying to steal my boyfriend.
Lucy: He’s not my…
Lucy’s eyes widen. She looks around wildly for a second, searching the theatre for Lockwood. She only sees Holly below.
Lucy (calling down to Holly): Holly! Have you seen Lockwood?
Holly (looking up, surprised): Lucy? How did you get up there?
Lucy: What do you mean?
Holly: I just saw you and Lockwood go backstage a minute ago!
Lucy: Shit!
Lucy runs for the stairs.
The Palace theatre, stage, night
Lucy runs onto the stage, Holly right behind her. They see George emerging from backstage, whirling as they pass him.
George: Lucy, what…?
Lucy: Lockwood! Where is he?
George points behind him and stares open-mouthed at Lucy. He takes a breath to say something but just then Kipps emerges from the other side of the stage, goggles on. He’s looking up at the rafters over their heads.
Kipps: I see we found the ghost. What the hell is Lockwood doing?
Everyone looks up to see Lockwood on the catwalk above. He’s walking very slowly. A shining figure is leading him out over the stage.
Holly and Lucy (shouting): Lockwood!
He doesn’t seem to hear them, continuing to walk out over the stage. Lucy drops her backpack and runs for the ladder up to the catwalk.
Kipps pulls out a salt bomb but George puts out a hand.
George: Don’t. If the ghost feels threatened she might decide to just reach out and touch him.
Kipps: So what the hell do you want me to do? Get ready to catch him?
George looks at Kipps and quirks his head.
Cut to Lucy emerging onto the catwalk, shuffling her feet carefully but quickly. She sees Lockwood ahead of her, in the middle of the catwalk. He’s turned to the side where a trapeze platform opens out over the stage.
Lucy (shouting): Lockwood!
Lockwood doesn’t seem to hear her. He steps onto the platform and Lucy begins to run. She reaches the platform just in time to see his foot hovering over empty space. Before him, a shining ghostly figure that looks like Lucy but with flowing hair and piercing, golden eyes beckons to him. Lucy hears strains of the seductive music from her vision.
Lucy grabs Lockwood from behind pulling him back.
Lucy (sternly): You can’t have him, Doris. He’s mine!
The ghost screams in frustration. Lucy throws a salt bomb at the ghost and it dissipates. Lockwood turns and sees the real Lucy and we see his face in full for the first time. He looks like he’s dreaming, mesmerised, with a wide smile and a golden twinkle in his eyes.
Lockwood: Lucy?
His eyes slowly focus on her. He reaches out and takes her face between his hands, eyes roaming all over her face, as though drinking in her every detail. Lucy looks taken aback.
Lockwood: Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?
The ghost reappears on the catwalk behind Lockwood and now she looks like La Belle Dame from the poster, beautiful and seductive with a bloody sword sticking through her body. Lucy sees her over Lockwood’s shoulder as the ghost screams and swoops toward them. Lockwood is still starry eyed holding onto Lucy’s face. Lucy tries to untangle her arms to fight the ghost but Lockwood is in the way.
Lucy: Oh for heaven’s sake.
Lucy pulls Lockwood out of the path of the ghost and out onto the platform. They teeter over the edge for a moment and Lucy looks down, wild-eyed. The ghost turns and swoops at them again. Lockwood just smiles dreamily as Lucy grabs him and flings them both off the platform into space.
They fall onto an enormous crash pad cushion like the ones used by acrobats or trapeze artists. Kipps, Holly and George stand around it having just pulled it into position. Lucy rolls onto her back next to Lockwood and they both look up as the ghost swoops down at them, Lucy frightened, Lockwood with a goofy smile. Salt bombs hit the ghost from three sides and it vanishes right above them.
Lucy looks over at Lockwood, who seems to be back to normal, if a little dazed.
Lockwood: Oh hey, Luce. What… (looking up at Kipps, Holly and George all poised with rapiers and salt bombs ready) What’s going on?
Lucy stares at him breathing hard, eyes wide in disbelief.
Skull (voice): Bravo! Marvellous! I would applaud but, well, you know.
Lucy closes her eyes, sighs and lets her head fall back against the crash pad with a thunk.
– Opening Credits –
Portland Row, Kitchen, day
Lockwood, Lucy, and George are eating breakfast in the kitchen in their pyjamas. The tv is on with the sound off. Holly walks in from the basement wearing professional clothing, holding a folder of papers.
Holly: Here’s the paperwork for the case last night.
She opens the folder revealing a stack of filled out forms and puts it in front of Lockwood, handing him a pen.
Holly (cont’d): I’ve altered the dates ever so slightly, see? (She points to the paper) I’ll get it to DEPRAC today so they know what a good little agency we’re being.
Lockwood: Thank God for you, Hol.
Lockwood smiles up at Holly. Lucy watches them and her lips twitch into a rueful smile. She shakes her head. Lockwood catches her eye and winks as Holly turns around.
George: I suspect these new rules are more about forcing us to waste time on paperwork than actually keeping tabs on us. I doubt anybody even reads them.
Lockwood: They may not be reading Bunchurch’s reports on Shades and Stone Knockers but I would bet a crate full of relics that they’re reading ours, so they need to be unassailable.
Lockwood finishes signing forms and Holly takes them back, straightening them meticulously.
Lucy (looking at the tv) : Is that the Commissioner?
Lucy stands up and turns the volume on the television up. A banner says “Commissioner Whelk, DEPRAC.” A middle aged politician in a suit is holding a press conference, Penelope Fittes by their side.
Commissioner: …This move formalises the position of Ms. Fittes as the head of DEPRAC’s Agency Oversight arm. Starting Monday all agency activity will be managed through her office. I will now take questions.
Holly: It was only a matter of time.
Lucy switches the tv off in disgust.
Lockwood: This doesn’t change anything. George, how’s your research on our top secret project coming?
George: It would go faster if I didn’t have to prove I’m on a legitimate case every time I visit the archives, but I’m making progress. I can give an update at our next “game night” (George makes air quotes with his fingers).
Cut to Lucy at the sink washing dishes. The kitchen is empty save for Lockwood, who clears the last of the dirty breakfast dishes off the table and brings them over to the sinn. Then he grabs a towel and slings it over his shoulder, leaning back against the counter.
Lockwood: I never got a chance to thank you. For the other night at the theatre.
Lucy: It’s fine.
Lockwood: I know what you did for me.
Lucy: What, jumped off a scaffolding? Not like it’s the first time.
Lockwood: No.
Lucy: I hate heights.
Lockwood: I know.
Lucy: I would say that’s the last bloody time, but that seems unlikely.
Lockwood: I know you worry about me, Luce. I’m fine, really.
Lucy stops and sighs, her shoulders slumping.
Lucy: You never even hesitated.
Lockwood: What?
Lucy (turning to him ) : You were ready to leap from that platform if I hadn’t pulled you back.
Lockwood (laughing it off): I don’t even remember. Lucy, I was mesmerised! These things happen to agents, you know that better than anyone. (Placing his hands on her upper arms, Lucy looks up at him) Remember the fetch under Aickmere’s? You were completely ensnared in its tentacles. But it’s fine, because I saved you then and you saved me now. We don’t keep score. We’re here to help each other. If we do that, we’ll get through.
Lucy nods. Lockwood smiles and leans down for a kiss but just then Holly walks in from the basement placing a file folder into her purse. Lockwood and Lucy break apart, quickly returning to the dishes.
Holly: Alright, I’m off. Lockwood, don’t forget you need to get to Satchel's today and we have a client appointment this afternoon.
Lockwood: Thanks, Hol.
Holly walks out the door just as George walks in, sliding past her.
George: Lockwood, I need another permission slip for the Archives.
Lockwood sighs and looks at Lucy who just smiles and then turns to finish dishes as Lockwood heads down to the basement with George.
George: You know I could just forge your signature.
Lockwood (fading as they exit): Absolutely not. We are being watched very closely. They’re looking for any excuse and I don’t intend to give them one…
Portland Row, Library, night
Lockwood, Lucy, George, Holly, and Kipps are gathering in the library. A board game box is on the coffee table and a white board with pictionary drawings stands on the side of the room, including depictions of the skull in the bath, Kipps with his foot in his mouth, Lockwood and Lucy jumping into the Thames, George taking two biscuits at once.
George opens the box to reveal a stack of papers, photos and a folded up blueprint. Lockwood and Holly flip the whiteboard around and they start pinning up plans for a heist: the blueprint, photos, schedules, a diagram of a coffin with a circle around it and five positions marked.
Kipps: So should we get started or do we really have to wait for…?
Flo (strolling in through the door): Is Quillion complaining already?
Kipps: I was just wondering if the mighty queen of the Thames was going to grace us with her presence… and her smell.
George: Someone has to combat that awful flowery perfume you wear, Kipps.
Kipps: It’s not perfume! It’s after—
Lockwood (taking a seat): George, you said you have an update on your research?
Kipps told his eyes but shuts up and leans back to listen.
George: Right. So first off, I’ve been trying to verify that Penelope Fittes is a real person.
Holly: Of course she’s a real person. We’ve all met her.
George: Yes, but, if that’s really Marissa Fittes, then either she’s impersonating her daughter or else she made Penelope up completely. Now, I found a copy of Penelope’s birth certificate and everything seems to be above board. But I only found a couple of newspaper announcements of the birth and a single family picture.
George passes a copy of a newspaper photograph around that shows Marissa Fittes with a man and a baby dated 1981.
Kipps: So you’re saying you think Marissa Fittes faked having a baby?
George: It’s possible.
Lucy: But this picture is dated almost 40 years ago.
Lockwood: So if she was fake then Marissa was planning this for a very long time.
George: I know, it sounds improbable. But Penelope’s father, who was quite a bit older than Marissa and very wealthy I might add, died of a heart attack shortly after this photo was taken. Penelope was rarely seen in public as a child and there’s actually very little record of her before she took over the family business.
Holly: Wait, but I thought Penelope went to America didn’t she? She came back to take over the Agency when her mother died?
George: Yes. The story goes that Penelope fled to America when she was 15 to escape the celebrity spotlight her mother lived in. Supposedly kept a very low profile over there. Then almost ten years later, Marissa fell ill and she wasn’t seen for months. Her physician told the public that she was wasting away from premature old age due to all the ghost hunting she’d done as a teen. Penelope returned just in time to say goodbye and agree to take over the business. During the press conference that followed Marissa’s supposed death, she said it was her mother’s dying wish.
Lucy: So she was real.
George: Unless Marissa wasn’t ill at all and was instead undergoing some kind of transformation. She emerges almost a year later as “Penelope,” a persona she had invented twenty six years earlier.
Nobody seems convinced, all wearing expressions of scepticism.
Holly: Transformation, you mean like plastic surgery?
George: Or something nastier. I’ll have to get back to you on that one. But it begs the question…
Lockwood: Who is buried in Marissa Fittes’ Tomb? Flo, how’s surveillance going?
Flo: I’ll get you the watch schedule. But they lock up an hour before sundown. If you’re going in at night, you’re going to need a key.
Lockwood: Kipps?
Kipps: I’ve been watching the sergeant for a couple of weeks and I think I have an idea there…
Heist montage
A series of shots in quick succession show the crew (Lockwood, Lucy, George, Holly and Kipps) getting ready to break into the Fittes Tomb.
Heist music plays, e.g., Bankrobber by the Clash
Fittes Tomb, interior, day
Lucy and Holly, dressed as tourists in cheesy T-shirts and novelty sunglasses, are taking photos of the inside of the tomb. They ask the sergeant to take a photo of them. As he goes to take a picture, Lockwood bumps into the sergeant, stealing the key from his belt and palming it.
Lockwood exits the Tomb and quickly takes an impression of the key in wax. Kipps brushes past him wearing a baseball hat and Lockwood hands the key off to Kipps, who walks back inside and places it on the ground behind the sergeant. When the sergeant gives the camera back to Lucy, Holly points at the key on the ground and the sergeant swiftly recovers it. Lucy and Holly walk casually out of the Tomb, arm in arm.
Portland Row, library, night
The crew plus Flo are watching Lockwood at the whiteboard, writing on a diagram of the Fittes Inner Tomb. Holly is taking notes, Kipps is fiddling with his goggles, Lucy is watching Lockwood with her chin in her hand, George is reading a magazine, and Flo is eating jelly babies. Lockwood throws a marker at George who looks up, startled at an annoyed looking Lockwood and Flo laughs at him.
Fittes Tomb, exterior, night
Flo lurks in a dark alley, watching the changing of the guards. She makes a note in an old notebook.
An old house, interior, night
Lockwood attacks a ghost with his rapier. Lucy, and Holly throw salt bombs at it and it vanishes. Lucy and Lockwood exchange a smile.
Deprac offices, interior, day
Holly walks confidently into Deprac HQ. Barnes is talking to Wade. He gives Holly a suspicious look as she passes him.
Portland Row, library, night
The crew are gathered in the library. Flo waltzes in and hands Lockwood a copy of the key. Lockwood checks off “Key to the Tomb” on the whiteboard. Flo plonks herself on the couch next to George and helps herself to his bowl of popcorn, grinning.
Portland Row, kitchen, night
Lockwood, Lucy and George drink tea and eat donuts after a job. George is talking animatedly. Lockwood is scribbling on the thinking cloth. Lockwood and Lucy’s hands meet under the table and they exchange soft, secretive smiles. George says something and they both turn to him and laugh.
Portland Row, library, day
Kipps, George and Lucy are lounging about the library tiredly, in various states of napping. Lockwood walks in and rouses everyone, clapping his hands. He shakes his head, disgusted and walks out.
Portland Row, basement, night
The crew are standing around a couch. A chain encircles the couch and everyone is in full gear. Lockwood points at a taped X on the ground next to Lucy and takes her by the waist, shifting her to stand on it. She looks up and Lockwood flashes a smile at her.
The others are already standing on X’s. Kipps and George mime opening a lid on the couch, Lockwood, Lucy and Holly stand with their rapiers and salt bombs ready. All of a sudden they all throw their salt bombs at Kipps who yells. Everyone laughs as they bounce off harmlessly.
Deprac offices, interior, day
Holly drops off paperwork at Deprac HQ. Barnes watches her leave, arms folded, looking suspicious. Wade stands glowering next to him and they exchange a look. Barnes shrugs and turns away.
Deprac offices, exterior, day
Holly exits the DEPRAC building and walks away. Sir Rupert Gale is lounging in the shadows against the side of the building. Holly doesn’t see him, but his eyes track her as she walks across the square and down the street.
Portland Row, foyer, night
The crew are dressed for the heist, wearing all black. They are putting on coats and rapiers and gathering bags. Lucy has the skull’s backpack. Lockwood looks around at them then opens the front door and they file out.
Fittes Tomb, exterior, night
The crew lurk in the alley Flo occupied earlier, watching the tomb. They all are wearing black mesh masks pushed up on their heads and black gloves. Flo signals at them from the other side of the street. Lockwood nods, George waves. Flo swaggers off toward the guards.
George uses a stopwatch to time to two minutes then signals. Everyone pulls their mask down onto their face and they slip out of the alley one by one.
Montage music fades out.
Fittes Tomb, interior, night
The crew enter the tomb and remove their masks. Lockwood quietly closes the door behind them. They are in a white marble room with bronze plaques on the wall and a bust of Marissa Fittes in a large niche. There’s a block of marble in the centre of the room.
They place their bags on top of the marble block and George starts crawling around on the floor examining it closely with a torch. Lockwood crosses to the centre of the room, pulling his mask off.
Lockwood (sotto voice): Alright, we’ve got two hours until the guard changes again. George, need a hand?
George (from the floor): Just gimme a minute.
Kipps (stepping up next to Lockwood and seeing George’s upturned bottom): Well, that’s a sight I’ll never be able to unsee.
Lockwood: You’ve no idea.
George (loud enough to echo): I’ve got it!
Holly (quietly): Shhh! The guards will hear you.
George pries up a small square of stone revealing a brass ring inset into the floor. He grabs it and turns, making a loud click.
George: Oh good. I was worried there might be an alarm.
Everyone stares at him for a beat.
Kipps: You’re telling us this now?
George: Well, there wasn’t so we’re fine.
Lockwood: Kipps, get the ropes.
Cut to the crew holding onto ropes tied to the brass ring. They heave on the ropes and a large section of floor opens on hinges revealing a dark hole. Holly shines a torch in and points to a metal ladder.
Holly (quietly): There!
Lockwood: Luce, hear anything?
Lucy shakes her head.
Lockwood (grinning): Well then, shall we?
Fittes Tomb, stairs, night
Lockwood, an electric lantern dangling from his belt, climbs down a metal ladder which is bolted to a stone wall. He steps down onto a smooth stone platform, jutting out over a dark abyss. Stairs descend to one side along the wall. To the front metal tracks set into the floor descend over the edge of the platform. George comes down the ladder next, followed by Holly then Lucy. Kipps is last.
George (inspecting the tracks): They lowered Marissa’s coffin through this hole and then used a modern catafalque to lower it down to the Inner Tomb.
Holly (looking over one edge tentatively): They didn’t think to include a railing?
George: I don’t think they were anticipating a lot of visitors down here. Not that sort anyway.
Lockwood: Alright, we’ll take it slow. George, you said there might be traps on the stairs?
George (shrugging): It’s just a rumour.
Lockwood: Still, no sense taking unnecessary risks, is there?
Kipps ( whispers to Lucy): Who is this again?
Lucy smiles proudly. Lockwood looks over and catches her eye. He cocks his head questioningly. She gives the smallest shake of hers.
He turns and proceeds down the stairs cautiously, examining each step with his torch. To one side is a stone wall, the other the black abyss.
Lucy: Skull? Can you sense anything?
The skull begins to glow through the backpack.
Skull (voice): Oh, so you’ve remembered I’m here, have you?
Lucy: What’s got you so grumpy?
Skull: If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you. (Brief pause) Well, if you must know, I saved Lockwood’s life the other night.
Lucy: When?
Skull: From La Belle Dame Sans Merci!
Lucy: I saved Lockwood’s life.
Skull: You never even noticed he was missing. He’d be dead if I hadn’t warned you.
Lucy (considers this for a moment): You’re right. Thank you.
Skull: Of course I’m right. And I know just how you can repay me.
Lucy: Oh yeah?
Skull: It will help you too. Just imagine how much more useful I could be if I wasn’t stuck in this jar.
Lucy: We’ve talked about this.
Skull: Yes, but I’ve been so good! I saved Lockwood! I told you about Marissa!
Lucy: We’re still checking into that.
Skull: Yes, yes, but you’ll believe me soon enough.
Lucy (after a pause to consider): What would you do if I let you out?
Skull: Oh, nothing much. Just stretch my plasm. Swoop about the house. Maybe haunt that graveyard down the street, just for fun.
Lucy: Uh huh.
Skull: I would only ghost-touch people you told me to… and possibly Karim if he’s being annoying.
Lucy (sceptically): Uh huh.
Skull: So? What do you think?
Lucy: You’re not making the best case.
Skull: Oh come off it. If I wanted you all dead I could just keep my mouth shut.
Lockwood stops to examine a step and they all stop.
Lucy (turning her head to look back toward the skull): What’s that supposed to mean?
Skull (shouts): WATCH OUT!
Lucy cries out, covering her ears. Everyone jumps, banging into each other on the steps. George knocks into Lockwood who sprawls down onto the stairs. The skull cackles gleefully. Kipps also snickers.
Lucy (angrily): What the hell was that?
Skull: That was hilarious. See what happens when I get too bored in here all by my lonesome?
Lucy: Oh that’s it. I’m taking you to the furnaces first thing tomorrow. You could have got us all killed with that! What if there had been a trap?
Skull: I don’t know what you’re so excited about. I was just trying to have some fun. Besides, the trap is much farther down.
Lucy: …What? Where?
Cut to the crew standing on the stairs. Lockwood is in front, looking down at a tripwire. George points his torch up at the wall where a small metal door is fixed into the wall above. One by one, they step over the tripwire and continue downward.
Kipps: You know that skull is starting to grow on me.
Lucy gives him a withering look but Kipps just winks back.
Cut to Lockwood stepping onto a stone floor at the bottom of the stairs. The crew pass the bottom of the catafalque and walk through a stone arch to the Inner Tomb.
Fittes Inner Tomb, night
The crew step into the Inner Tomb. The room is large and square. In the centre, a silver coffin gleams. Large, unlit candles and bunches of dusty dried lavender surround it.
The crew stand just inside the entrance. They switch off their torches as Holly lights a lantern and holds it up. The crew tunes in except for Kipps who looks around through his goggles.
Lockwood: I don’t see anything.
Lucy: I don’t hear anything.
Kipps: No ghosts, except our tame one, of course.
Skull (flaring): Tame? Tame?!
Lockwood: Well then, you all know what to do.
Lucy puts her backpack down as the others put down equipment bags and start setting up. Kipps puts his bag down next to the skull as Lucy uncovers it.
Skull (baring its teeth at Kipps): Let me out of here, I’ll show that idiot how tame I am.
Lucy (to Kipps): Best not to call the skull tame. It doesn’t like it.
Skull: Lucy, tell that boggle-eyed fool that if I was out of this prison I’d suck the flesh off his bones and dance a hornpipe with his empty skin!
Kipps: Is it offended?
Skull: Tell him!
Lucy: Erm, no, it’s cool.
Skull: What? No, I’m not! I swear, when I get free of this, I’m going to catch Kipps and pull off his—”
Lucy turns away with a half smile then starts to help Kipps pull chains out of the bag.
Quick cuts of the crew lighting the candles, setting up chains around the coffin, prepping their equipment.
They stand in the positions rehearsed in the basement earlier, standing outside the chains: Lockwood in front of the coffin, Lucy and Holly to the sides, Kipps and George ready to open it, all with rapiers in hand. The skull sits uncovered nearby.
Lockwood: Ready?
Lockwood looks at each of them and they each give him a nod. He smiles at Lucy and then signals Kipps and George.
Lockwood (cont’d): One, two, three.
Kipps and George haul open the lid of the coffin. Inside is the perfectly preserved body of Marissa Fittes lying face up in peaceful repose.
Holly: Oh shit, it’s her!
Kipps: What a bloody waste of time.
They all stare at the body for a moment. Lockwood frowns thoughtfully.
Lockwood: I’ve never seen a body that well preserved.
George peers at it closely, pushing his glasses up his nose.
George: Yes, it’s odd isn’t it. Maybe some kind of mummification?
Kipps (getting angry) : What does it matter? The skull lied and now we need to seal this up and get out of here.
Lucy: Skull?
Skull: I don’t know. Maybe she leapt out of her body into someone else?
Lucy: You’re really reaching.
Skull: But that can’t be her! It’s not possible!
Lucy (to the others ) : He says it’s not her.
Kipps: But it is!
Lockwood steps forward, inside the chains, looking down at the body. George leans forward over Marissa’s head. George reaches forward toward her face,
Lockwood: George what are you…?
George suddenly whips off Marissa’s face and hair. Holly and Kipps both scream. George holds up a rubbery mask and wig. The uncovered head beneath is pale yellow wax, moulded in the shape of a face.
George (grinning): Ah, see? Just a mask on a dummy.
Lockwood laughs, shoulders relaxing, sword lowering. Lucy sighs in relief, sword at her side. Kipps turns away putting his hands on his head. Holly sits on the floor, chuckling nervously. George reaches forward and taps on the forehead of the body.
George (tapping ) : Feels like some kind of wax mould.
Lockwood (blowing out a breath and shaking his head): I knew it.
Tap tap tap.
Skull (sarcastically): Oh did you? Well, there’s something else you don’t know.
Tap tap tap.
Lockwood: George, we get it, stop tapping that thing.
George: I’m not tapping.
They all look at the coffin where a twitching wax hand reaches slowly out of the coffin.
Skull: That may not be her, but it’s definitely someone.
George: Oh fu-
Lockwood: Positions!
The crew scramble madly as the body suddenly sits up in the coffin. George stumbles back over the chains, knocking the linked ends apart. On the other side Holly scrambles up pulling the chains further out of position. Lockwood attacks with his rapier but it bounces off the wax, leaving only a thin cut behind. Lucy throws a salt bomb which fizzles, leaving only tiny scorch marks on the body.
Lockwood: Flares!
Lockwood, Holly and Kipps throw flares. All have to duck to avoid the sparks and flames. Smoke envelopes the coffin. The crew cough, shielding their eyes.
Then out of the smoke the body emerges, moving jerkily. The sounds of cracking wax sound loudly as it moves. Half its face is melted off revealing a gleaming white skull underneath. The crew back up toward the door, swords out.
George: It’s a Revenant! A corpse animated by a ghost.
Lockwood: The wax is protecting the bones. Swords and flares are useless.
Kipps: As the most experienced agent present, might I suggest a strategic retreat?
The Revenant stands up straight and twists its neck to the side. There’s a loud succession of cracking noises. Then the Revenant looks toward them smoothly, menacingly.
Lockwood: Run!
They turn and run back through the archway. Lucy grabs the skull in the backpack and follows.
Skull: Well now, I wonder who that is? It sure as hell isn’t Marissa.
Lockwood waits for her at the arch, ushering her through before following.
Fittes Tomb, stairs, night
The crew run from the Inner Tomb toward the stairs. The Revenant lurches after them moving more quickly and smoothly than before. Lockwood halts in the middle of the room and throws another salt bomb at its head. It sparks off the skull, revealing a thin sheen of plasm on the exposed bone. The Revenant speeds up. Lockwood stands ready with his rapier.
Holly is first up the stairs, followed by George, then Kipps. At the base of the stairs, Lucy turns and looks back at Lockwood facing the Revenant alone.
Lucy: What’s your plan?
Lockwood: The usual. Why? What’s yours?
Lucy closes her eyes and tunes in.
Lucy (voice ringing out): Who are you? What do you want?
The Revenant stops and slowly turns its head toward Lucy.
Lockwood (warningly): Lucy…
Revenant (voice rasping): Marissa…
Lucy (flinching, eyes still closed): Did Marissa Fittes do this to you?
Revenant (voice rasping): Marissa…
The Revenant moves toward Lucy and Lockwood steps between them, sword raised. The Revenant attacks, swinging its arm like a club as Lockwood parries.
Cut to Holly, George and Kipps running up the stairs. Holly just barely sees the tripwire in time and jumps over it, losing her balance slightly. George comes to an abrupt halt in front of it but Kipps barges into him from behind and George steps directly on the wire. All three freeze and look up as the metal door swings open. For a moment nothing happens but then a ghostly scream sounds and a blast of air buffets them, threatening to blow them off the edge of the stairs into the dark abyss.
Holly: It’s a poltergeist!
Cut to Lockwood dancing out of the way of an attack from the Revenant.
Lockwood: Lucy, go! Get out of here!
Lucy (opening her eyes and looking at Lockwood): Not without you!
The Revenant lurches toward Lucy.
Revenant (voice rasping): Marissa…
Lockwood: Dammit!
Lucy backs up the stairs, out of reach, and Lockwood attacks it from behind. Lucy kicks the Revenant in the chest, knocking it off its feet. Lockwood leaps over the fallen body and they race up the stairs together, Lucy in front, Lockwood behind with a hand on her back.
Lockwood: Why didn’t you run? I was buying you time!
Lucy : Yeah, and what was your plan after that? Lockwood, you promised.
Lockwood (scoffing ) : That hardly counts as suicidal.
Lucy: You save me, I save you. Remember?
They turn a corner and keep climbing, panting at the exertion.
Lockwood: Well, what did it say?
Lucy: I think it wants Marissa.
Lockwood: Wants her to what?
They hear a scratching sound behind them. Looking back they see the Revenant climbing the stairs on all fours.
Lucy: …To die.
Lucy and Lockwood look at each other then start running up the stairs. They come around a corner and find George, Kipps and Holly clinging to the stairs as the wind buffets them toward the edge.
Skull: Up! Look up!
Lucy looks up and sees the metal door hanging open. She stumbles up the stairs, fighting the wind and reaches on tiptoe to put her hand into the opening. She pulls out a pair of dentures and lobs it off the stairs. The wind rushes downwards, then suddenly stops.
Lockwood helps the others stand and starts shepherding them up the stairs. Lucy looks back and sees the Revenant loping up the stairs on all fours behind him. She pulls a flare from her belt and throws it.
Lucy: Lockwood, duck!
The flare goes off and they all duck. The Revenant emerges from the smoke, the wax melted off its head, holes in its chest, one arm broken.
Lucy: God, this thing just won’t quit!
Lockwood (grinning): A bit like us, really.
They race up the stairs, the Revenant on their heels. A ghostly face starts to emerge from the skull, a middle aged man with a moustache.
Revenant (voice rasping): Marissa…
Fittes Tomb, interior, night
Holly, Kipps and George emerge from the trapdoor at the top of the ladder. They begin to push the stone block back into place as Lockwood and Lucy climb the ladder. Lucy climbs out, then drops the backpack, turning to pull Lockwood up next to her.
Lockwood: Well that was…
Just as the stone is about to close the Revenant's wax hand strikes through the gap and grabs Lucy’s ankle. She gasps, falling down. Lockwood grabs for her.
Lockwood : Lucy!
Lucy turns to see the face of the ghostly Revenant floating free of its body, it looks right at her.
Revenant (voice deeply resonant, no longer rasping) : Bring me Marissa!
Holly stomps on the hand which lets go of Lucy. George and Kipps close the stone lid with an echoing thud. Lockwood pulls Lucy back from the trapdoor. Lucy continues to stare wide-eyed at where the Revenant has disappeared, breathing hard.
Skull (conversationally ) : Do you know, I think he wants you to bring him Marissa Fittes. Does that make him your client? I bet you’ve never had a ghost client.
Lucy turns her wide-eyed stare on the skull, sitting on the ground next to her as it cackles.
End Credits