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Chapter Text

There are plenty of skills one can pick up in the Endless Abyss if curious or just desperate enough. Considering how hard Luo Binghe is working to find any way to get out back to the mortal realm, he’s certainly desperate enough to follow any hint of something that might help him do that. The shape changing had been explained as being able to look like other people. This isn’t what happens when Luo Binghe tries it.

What happens is that he’s transformed into a tiny dog with masses of curly black fur. It’s not a useless form at all. Maybe his claws and teeth are small, but he’s faster and more maneuverable in this form. His lower profile means he zips past much larger beasts with ease, even between their legs just to be cheeky about it. His steps are muffled by fur, making him far more stealthy than most things down there with him. His big eyes handle low light areas better, his sense of smell is very enhanced (for better or worse). All in all, a useful form. Probably good for traveling in human spaces later.

When he catches his reflection while transformed, his first thought is, Shizun would definitely want to pet me.

His next thought is, oh shit fuck goddamnit, you stupid hot springs tentacle monster!

The first week or two once he gets out of this hellhole will need to be spent cleaning up his language again. Even if Ning Yingying and Ming Fan were the ones to teach him to swear, on purpose and by being overheard respectively. He’s been using their lessons profusely since being pushed falling into the abyss. It doesn’t make anything better, but he gets a little rebellious thrill every time. One has to take their small pleasures where they can.

The weeks and months pass by a little easier when he can retreat into the fluffy little package of his transformed state. He doesn’t even have to worry about carrying things since the spell throws everything other than his body into a temporary pocket realm until he transforms back, so it’s economical! So much less effort! Didn’t Shizun once tell him to work smarter, not harder? He definitely doesn’t prefer his dog body because it has a harder time staying sad.

By the time he finds Xin Mo, he barely ever shifts back human. There’s no relation.

Luo Binghe tells Xin Mo to take him home. What actually happens is he gets tossed in the middle of the demon realm, what Xin Mo considers home, he guesses. Whatever the reason, it’s not where Luo Binghe wants to be. He considers making the best of it anyway, maybe even conquering the place in his master’s honor, but… Would that make Shen Qingqiu welcome him back? He’s powerful now! He has control over his demon side! He can hide it all!

Maybe he should go show how good a human he can be. He could join another sect and rise in the ranks, become the most well respected cultivator of his time! If everyone said so, Shizun would have to acknowledge his humanity, right? And Luo Binghe will show him that he can live like a full blooded human, that he can be good.

But that would take a while. He’d be away from Qing Jing even longer.

The indecision halts him for days. There are so many things that can go wrong no matter what he chooses. He doesn’t even know what Shen Qingqiu might have told anyone. Would he out Luo Binghe’s heritage and set the whole cultivation world after him? He knows what a Heavenly Demon can do. Or… would Shen Qingqiu keep it secret to save his own reputation and that of Cang Qiong? Luo Binghe needs information, but that would take so very long.

Furry little feet take him towards the weakest barrier between worlds that he can sense. Just a peek, he tells himself. Just a little news about his shizun and then he’ll decide what to do next. When the air clears and the sky brightens, Luo Binghe starts running until he finds familiar terrain. The village is one he’d had a night hunt for years ago and the village girls feed him scraps as they gush over his soft fur. He even gets a bath. It would be better if Shen Qingqiu had given it to him-

Luo Binghe freezes as the girls continue toweling down his fur.

What if…

What if he became Shen Qingqiu’s dog?

Shen Qingqiu was- is always kind to animals and Luo Binghe’s dog form is small and cute and there’s no way Shen Qingqiu will be able to resist petting him. Surely, Luo Binghe can figure out how to make Shen Qingqiu let him stay!

A few hours napping near a fire is all the time Luo Binghe gives himself to rest before starting his trek towards Cang Qiong. He’s got a plan now! His tiny dog heart thuds excitedly in his chest as he races along dirt roads and through busy villages. Home, he’s almost home! And this time, Shizun will have no reason to reject him! Sure, being Shen Qingqiu’s dog means he can’t be his lover, but! It’s better than nothing! It will be enough, Luo Binghe will make it be enough!

He almost slams into the first stair up towards the sect, tripping over a rock and tumbling forward. As he rights himself, soft laughter greets him and he looks up to see a young woman. Ah, a Xian Shu disciple. Her name escapes him, but he lets her pet his head. As she starts heading up the stairs, Luo Binghe works his way up next to her. It’s difficult. The steps are steep and his legs are very short, but he perseveres. He just needs to get to Qing Jing and then he’ll charm his way to Shizun’s side!

The disciple pauses as he continues struggling, then sighs. “Do you belong to someone?”

Yes! Luo Binghe yells, which comes out as a very spirited bark, the nub of his tail wagging so hard it shakes most of his body. The disciple’s veil makes it hard to tell if she’s smiling, but he’s pretty sure that’s why the skin around her eyes is creasing.

“Very well,” she says, then scoops him up and carries him with her up the stairs. While he cares nothing for being touched by anyone who isn’t Shen Qingqiu, it gets him up the stairs far faster than he could manage without giving away the fact that he isn’t a completely normal, definitely not demonic ball of fluff.

“Did Shijie get a pet?” another disciple asks as they get to the Xian Shu outer gate.

“He seemed determined to get up the stairs,” the first says lightly. “It would be cruel to leave him to it.”

Luo Binghe agrees. He also thinks he can take it from here.

When he starts making a fuss in the disciple’s arms, she lowers him down to the ground and Luo Binghe doesn’t hesitate to bolt. He hears a few calls behind him, but he has places to go! Ground gives way to the rainbow bridge and Luo Binghe doesn’t slow at all. He dodges past every surprised cultivator he comes across, refusing to be deterred from his goal.

He’s so close! Shizun, Shizun, Shizun! Your Binghe is coming!!

Luo Binghe trips and rolls through the Qing Jing gate before he knows it, to the delight of the two disciples stationed at it. They immediately try to catch him, either to remove him from the peak or to just pet him, but Luo Binghe evades their hands. He races through bamboo and walkways alike with single minded determination. So close, so very close to seeing Shizun again, to hearing his voice, feeling his touch-

And then someone manages to catch him around the middle and hoist him up off the ground. “So you’re the one causing so much trouble!”

His heart clenches to recognize Ning Yingying and he can’t quite make himself struggle as much as before. She’s older, more settled into womanhood, and her smile still seems like a gentle hug. Her eyes size him up, but before he can figure out if she finds him worthy or not, there’s someone else nearby.

“What is that?” comes quiet but no less lovely. “Did Liu-shidi bring another beast by?”

For several heartbeats, Luo Binghe can’t breathe. Shizun! Even the softening effect of his dog brain can’t stop him from freezing up in Ning Yingying’s grip. His joy at hearing Shen Qingqiu’s voice is tempered by the words. Beast. He is, isn’t he? Nothing to do with Liu Qingge, but he… He’s here to trick them all, isn’t he? Does that make him beastly?

“This disciple doubts it. He’s too cute! Maybe he escaped from another peak?”

“Mm. Well, go check around.”

Ning Yingying is still holding him firmly enough that he isn’t able to turn his head far enough to see. He starts squirming, barely managing to keep from revealing himself when she refuses to turn him loose.

“He can stay if he doesn’t belong to anyone, right?” Ning Yingying asks, because she is the best shijie. “There’s plenty of room for a puppy so little.”

“Yingying may do as she likes.”

Then there are steps moving away and Luo Binghe redoubles his efforts to get free. Shizun is leaving! And Luo Binghe didn’t even get a chance to look at him first!!

“Be good so Shizun lets you stay,” Ning Yingying scolds. Luo Binghe doesn’t actually feel contrite, but he stops wiggling as Ning Yingying holds him more comfortably. “Now, let’s go make sure no one else can claim you, then get you primped up. We want to show Shizun your best self.”

This, he one hundred percent can get behind. It’ll be all for nothing if he can’t get Shen Qingqiu to like him.

Ning Yingying does carry him around other peaks to see if anyone knows him. Xian Shu finally lets her know that he’d been brought up from the bottom of the stairs but no one else knows anything more. Satisfied that she wasn’t stealing him from anyone, she takes Luo Binghe to clean off the dirt and debris his run here had picked up, then brushes out his fur until it shines. If Shizun brushes him later, Luo Binghe won’t mind in the least. It’s kind of meditative and he maybe dozes off a bit in the middle of it. He’s brought to full awareness when he hears a familiar and not necessarily fondly remembered voice.

“What is that?” Ming Fan asks, hands on his hips as he stares disdainfully down at the ball of black fluff Luo Binghe is right now.

“A puppy,” Ning Yingying says with another slide of the brush. “He was wandering the peak and doesn’t belong to anyone, so he’s ours now.”

Ming Fan’s face scrunches. “What use do we have with a dog that small? It probably can’t even hunt rats.”

Oh, Luo Binghe would show him hunting-

“Doesn’t his fur remind you of someone?”

What? But apparently, Ming Fan gets it. He peers at Luo Binghe with a look Luo Binghe can’t quite read. “...Are you sure about this?”

“Has anything else worked?” she replies with a particularly harsh brush stroke that Luo Binghe feels within his rights to object to. Her fingers pet over the spot to soothe him.

Lips pursed into a tight line, Ming Fan nods. “He won’t take it if I give it to him.”

“Don’t worry, I know how to get him to cooperate.”

Something about all this is making Luo Binghe’s insides twist up with unease. Ning Yingying finishes brushing him out and rubs him over with a few drops of jasmine perfume. The smell isn’t so strong that it overwhelms him thankfully, but any help he can get in making Shen Qingqiu like him is worth discomfort.

“Are you ready, Hei-er?” she asks, beaming. Or, she would seem to be beaming if anyone else were looking at her, but Luo Binghe can tell she’s at least half faking it. “Now be good and stay at my side. Let’s go meet Shizun.”

He yips in agreement and Ning Yingying sets him down. It takes everything in him not to run off ahead. Obedience is good in pets, right? He can be obedient! With a softer smile, Ning Yingying starts back toward the bamboo house with Luo Binghe at her heels. His excitement thrums through his entire body. Shizun! Your Binghe is here, Shizun!

When he makes a bee line for the door, however, Ning Yingying calls out to him. Luo Binghe pauses, confused. After so long away, she won’t let him go inside? But Ning Yingying waits until he reluctantly returns to her and then starts around to the back of the house. There’s still no Shizun, just the well kept garden and a path going towards a peaceful meditation spot they’d often used together. Ah, so Shizun must be meditating, of course. Maybe this has become part of his routine, and that’s why Ning Yingying knew not to check the house.

There’s an odd scent in the air. It smells a bit like the house, but stronger. Is that Shizun? The sour notes don’t seem like him at all, but it’s definitely not Ning Yingying and seems too human to be any of the birds and such that lived on the peak. Growing more uneasy, Luo Binghe follows along the thin trail until they get to the clearing at the end. There, knelt in the warm sunshine, is Shen Qingqiu. All at once, every bit of self control Luo Binghe has shatters and he runs straight to his master’s side, yipping eagerly to get his attention.

Shen Qingqiu startles and looks down at him. He’s still so beautiful it takes Luo Binghe’s breath away, the graceful lines of his face and the gentle curve of his mouth- But there’s something different about him. Has he lost weight? The usually softer planes have sharpened and his eyes seem a little sunken, the skin under them discolored. It takes a lot for an immortal to actually show signs of illness, how long has his shizun been suffering for Luo Binghe to see it? Did Without-A-Cure get worse in his absence?!

Wait, why is there a sword mound in the clearing now? Who has been lost that’s so important to Shizun?

“Hello,” Shen Qingqiu says politely before Luo Binghe can get close enough to read the marker, the same respect he’d give anyone not on four legs. He turns to look at Ning Yingying. “Did Yingying not find an owner?”

“No, Shizun. Hei-er seems to be a stray. But he’s so cute!”

“So he is.”

Despite his worry, Luo Binghe’s tail wags frantically as Shen Qingqiu sizes him up.

“It would be cruel to turn him out,” Ning Yingying says, shifting a little closer. “And he’s so small, he wouldn’t eat much!”

“If Yingying is asking for something, she’d better spit it out.”

Grasping Luo Binghe around the middle, Ning Yingying holds him up so she can rub her cheek against his fur as she says, “Please let this good boy stay!”

Luo Binghe does his best to be as adorable as possible. His master has always been weak against big eyes and helplessness, surely he’ll accept Luo Binghe in this form. He will be the best dog for him!

After a long pause, Shen Qingqiu just sighs and turns back to the sword mound. “Didn’t this master already say Yingying may do as she likes?”

Ning Yingying gives Luo Binghe a squeeze and then sets him down again. “Thanking Shizun, this disciple will make sure he’s well cared for!”

Shen Qingqiu idly gestures a dismissal with one hand, his attention focused elsewhere, and Ning Yingying corrals Luo Binghe back towards the house. He hates leaving his master’s side, but he has to be good and obedient if he wants to stay. Maybe if he’s good enough, Shen Qingqiu will let him stay in the bamboo house again.

As they round the house, Ning Yingying stops and then crouches down in front of him, her expression suddenly serious. “Hei-er, you haven’t been here long, but this peak will take good care of you. In return, I need a favor.”

Luo Binghe cocks his head and waits, sitting to listen. Her eyes soften.

“Hei-er must promise to listen and obey… and he must bother Shizun any time he’s at the sword mound. Okay?” The instruction is odd, why would Ning Yingying want to interrupt Shen Qingqiu showing respect for the dead? “He mustn’t be allowed to stay there so long.”

How long is she talking about? His belly squirms. Someone important enough to Shizun that he’d erect a sword mound for them here, at his own home? Did Shen Qingqiu take a lover? The very idea makes Luo Binghe want to bite, but he can’t. He has to behave (except when he’s misbehaving under Ning Yingying’s weird orders).

“Good boy,” she says, petting his head. “I hope this works.”

For the rest of the day, Luo Binghe follows Ning Yingying around. The other disciples seem enchanted with him, which is a good sign that Shizun will be, too.

A few of the hall masters greet Ning Yingying on her way, pausing to give Luo Binghe a curious look. One of them frowns at him and mutters out, “Be sure it doesn’t bother Shifu.”

“Of course,” Ning Yingying lies, and they continue on.

The sky is darkening by the time Ning Yingying heads back toward the bamboo house. Despite his fatigue, Luo Binghe perks up. Finally! He gets to see Shizun again! But there’s no light from the bamboo house, no lit candles. Had Shizun gone to sleep early? The scent of him seems… old, here. Maybe Shen Qingqiu hadn’t been back yet. Ning Yingying goes inside and sighs over an untouched tray of food before drawing herself up.

“Come, Hei-er,” she says, leaving the bamboo house and heading back towards the meditation clearing. Why? Surely Shizun isn’t still-

He is. In the same spot as before, as if he hadn’t moved a bit, is Shen Qingqiu. His hands rest on his thighs, eyes half lidded and staring at the grave marker. The sight doesn’t seem to surprise Ning Yingying at all. She just goes right to his side and calls to him. Like coming out of a daze, Shen Qignqiu blinks and seems to only now realize how dark it is.

“So late already?” he says.

“Yes, Shizun. Are there any tasks Shizun would like this disciple to do for him before she retires for the night?”

Shen Qingqiu rises to his feet. Where he’d been kneeling is packed down, as if this were a regular occurrence.

“No. Thank you, Yingying. This master can see himself to bed.” He pauses then, looking down at Luo Binghe. “Oh. Good evening.”

The yip that escapes Luo Binghe is entirely involuntary, but Shen Qingqiu doesn’t seem to mind it.

“Be sure to find him a soft place to sleep,” is all he says before he heads off toward the house.

Though Luo Binghe wants nothing but to follow him, he needs to see it first. The person Shen Qingqiu is in mourning for. He dodges Ning Yingying’s hands and goes right up to the mound. His eyes don’t see things quite how they do when he’s not a dog, but they’re plenty good enough to make out carved characters upon the plain wooden marker, made by hands unused to such work.

Luo Binghe

The grave is for him?

His sword is buried beneath the marker?

Why would Shen Qingqiu mourn a demon he’d thrown away?

None of this makes sense. When Ning Yingying picks him up, he’s too preoccupied to stop her. Luo Binghe stares over her shoulder as the sword mound grows farther and farther away. None of this makes sense, but Luo Binghe is too stubborn to give up this chance. He’s going to figure out what’s going on and become Shen Qingqiu’s much beloved dog, no matter what.

Chapter Text

Luo Binghe’s first days as the peak pet are weird, sure, but he’s certain he’ll get his way in the end. Ning Yingying is about the only one he’d want to be good for, outside Shizun, so listening to anyone else is a pain. He still does it, mostly. Getting kicked out is not an option.

But that doesn’t mean he has to necessarily make it easy on them. When Ming Fan’s turn to keep an eye on him comes, Luo Binghe sticks with him for maybe a quarter shichen before deciding he will be better utilized elsewhere. It’s kind of laughable how easily he ducks out from Ming Fan’s attention. He doesn’t even have to use any actual tricks to make a quiet getaway.

The bamboo house appears before his bounding form soon and Luo Binghe eagerly rushes in the open door, but Shen Qingqiu’s scent is nearly a day old. That’s fine, it gives Luo Binghe time to investigate the house. Nothing seems to have been moved around, but his nose twitches with every speck of dust he comes across. It’s not dirty, but the other disciples just aren’t paying enough attention when they come to clean. It almost makes Luo Binghe want to pop back into human form so he can fix that. The urge comes and goes, chased away by the ugly truth that he’d probably just get run off the mountain if he did.

Shen Qingqiu’s room is in a similar state to the rest of the house. His habit of just leaving things where he drops them seems to be holding true, considering the robes thrown over the privacy screen. There are books piled high at his bedside, dust showing their ignored state. A few hair crowns lay at his vanity, not dusty but the metal in need of polishing. More and more signs of neglect keep jumping out at Luo Binghe the longer he looks. Just who is looking after Shizun?!

There’s no way Ming Fan or Ning Yingying would leave the house like this unless ordered to do so. Did Shizun turn them away? Is he trying to clean for himself? Absolutely not, Shen Qingqiu is so easily distracted from tasks that aren’t important to him, he cannot under any circumstances be left to his own devices.

Dreading the worst, Luo Binghe trots over to peek into the side room, but the door is shut tight. The knob is more dusty than anything else, like it hasn’t been touched in years. There’s dust under the door, undisturbed for some time. How long has it been shut? Is… Is Shen Qingqiu just so disgusted with him that he’s decided to pretend Luo Binghe’s room doesn’t even exist? The idea of it chills him to the core.

Luo Binghe leaves the house more uneasy than he’d been entering it and scouts for Shen Qingqiu’s scent. It’s old, but he’s able to pick up a slightly more recent trail of it on his way around to the back of the house. Luo Binghe follows along and finds himself on the path to the sword mound.

He mustn’t be allowed to stay there so long.

Surely, the other days had been flukes, just a particularly bad run of time, and Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t be at the gravesite today like a mourning wife or parent. He wouldn’t be-

He is. Shen Qingqiu kneels in the same place as before, staring dully at the makeshift grave marker that Luo Binghe is starting to think was carved by his own hand. The same way Luo Binghe has found him for the third day in a row now. He still doesn’t understand. If Shizun misses him, he shouldn’t have thrown him away in the first place.

Without permission, Luo Binghe’s feet take him to his shizun’s side. He sits down, staring at his own grave. Had Shen Qingqiu really carved the tablet? Had he buried the sword shards? Is he the one that sweeps the tiny clearing clean of fallen leaves? It’s a respect that takes Luo Binghe’s breath away and just makes him even more confused.

He doesn’t realize he’s let out a distressed whine until a cool hand comes to rest on his head, gently petting over black curls. Luo Binghe stares up in awe as Shen Qingqiu studies him with an exhausted sort of not-quite-curiosity.

“What are you doing here alone?” Shen Qingqiu asks, still petting. Luo Binghe’s entire body shakes as the nub of his tail wags as hard as it can. “I suppose I can’t just let you keep wandering on your own. One of Liu-shidi’s little beast presents might eat you and then Yingying will cry when she finds what’s left. It’d be an entire ordeal.”

Luo Binghe does not give a shit about Ning Yingying right now. Not when Shen Qingqiu is scratching a place behind his ear that makes his entire body feel like it’s made of liquid. He flops up against Shen Qingqiu’s hip in utter bliss and only gets a little sigh in response.

“Maybe I could find a flower or something to turn me into a dog,” Shen Qingqiu mumbles in a tone so close to his aimless grousing from years prior that it just makes Luo Binghe love him more. “Nobody puts in the effort to hunt down and torture a dog to death.”

What?! The shock of such an idea jolts Luo Binghe back to full alert and he stares up at Shen Qingqiu. Had someone threatened him?! Does someone have machinations against his shizun?! Luo Binghe will tear them apart and piss on the pieces!!!

“Oh, don’t look at me like that, Hei-er. No one’s coming after you.” It comes out bitter and Shen Qingqiu’s eyes start drifting back towards the tablet. No, no, no, Shizun was talking to him, Luo Binghe can’t let him get lost in his head again! It’s not really a conscious decision to jump into Shen Qingqiu’s lap, but there Luo Binghe finds himself, tiny paws leaving dirt on the silk for him to feel bad about later. Shen Qingqiu stares at him and Luo Binghe gives into the urge to jump up and lick across his master’s face.

“Wha- ugh, no, this is why I don’t have any pets,” Shen Qingqiu grumbles, pushing Luo Binghe down until he sits obediently on Shen Qingqiu’s thighs while he wipes his mouth. Luo Binghe makes sure to look up with his most innocent dog expression, tail wagging again. Shen Qingqiu’s lips twist but he gives in quickly and starts petting again.

It wasn’t a kiss but that had been Luo Binghe’s mouth! On!! Shizun’s!!! He isn’t sure he’s ever been happier in his life, so happy his tiny dog body can barely contain it. As Shen Qingqiu continues to watch him squirm, something softens in his face.

“Ridiculous,” he says, but it comes out as unbearably fond as sticky always did.

Luo Binghe has no idea how long he sits in Shen Qingqiu’s lap being spoiled, but he has to reign in the urge to bite Ming Fan when he arrives to bother them. There’s something calculating in Ming Fan’s eyes as he glances between Shizun and Luo Binghe.

“He likes Shizun better than me,” Ming Fan says, but he doesn’t seem upset about it. Yes! Yes Luo Binghe does!!

“Nonsense. This master was just around.” Noooo, Shizun! This Binghe doesn’t like anyone as much as you!

“Would Shizun be able to look after him this afternoon? This disciple apologizes but he forgot a pressing engagement that he cannot take Hei-er to.”

Oh? Is there some scheming happening here?

Shen Qingqiu gives him a suspicious look. “And you thought to leave him with this master rather than one of your many shidis and shimeis?”

“Things are very busy getting ready for the autumn festival since the seniors graduated!”

“...Hm. Very well. Have Yingying retrieve him when she’s free.”

“Yes, Shizun!”

Considerably brighter than when he’d arrived, Ming Fan struts down the trail back towards the bamboo house. Maybe Luo Binghe doesn’t entirely hate him anymore. At least for right now.

“What kind of trouble have you been causing my disciples, ah? For them to make up such obvious lies just to wash their hands of you.”

Not nearly as much as he’s going to make now, if that’s how he scores more time with Shizun!

Shaking his head, Shen Qingqiu eases Luo Binghe off his lap and starts getting up, only to pause at the whimpering Luo Binghe only half fakes. Brows twitching, Shen Qingqiu scoops Luo Binghe up under one arm as he rises.

“Already so spoiled,” he says, not at all noticing the utter nirvana Luo Binghe is currently experiencing. Shizun is holding him! Shizun’s heartbeat is so close!! Shizun smells like flowers and perfection!!!

Is it possible to die from happiness? Because if it is, Luo Binghe won’t make it to morning. His tongue lolls out of his mouth inelegantly as Shen Qingqiu props him up against his chest and leaves the clearing. A whole afternoon with Shizun and Luo Binghe barely had to do anything at all!

“Tiny thing like you, lots of small meals then?” Shen Qingqiu mutters to himself absently as the bamboo house comes closer. “Do I have anything to play fetch with? A stick, I guess. Do they even play fetch here?”

If they don’t, Luo Binghe will make it happen! Whatever fetch is, anyway.

But when they get to the door, Shen Qingqiu stops. He stares inside at the stillness, the little life that had returned to his face draining out again. Is… Is the house itself making him sad? Does he miss Luo Binghe that much?! Does he-

“Right,” Shen Qingqiu says, then turns on his heel and starts towards the classrooms.

The rest of the afternoon, Luo Binghe is either in Shen Qingqiu’s arms or begging to be. Occasionally he’ll squirm to be set down and run circles around Shizun’s feet as fast as he can without skidding and tripping over himself (except for when he does it on purpose just to get an indulgent sigh). That seems to amuse Shizun some and it’s a good way to burn off nervous energy so he can get cuddles again. As his master would say, win win!

At some point, a young disciple he doesn’t recognize runs up with something that smells amazing and tastes even better and Luo Binghe must have more. The disciple seems delighted by this and another joins her with another treat. He could get used to this.

He supposes it’s okay for people other than Shizun to pet him if they’ll bribe him first.

All things must come to an end and eventually, Ning Yingying comes to retrieve him. She smiles brightly at Shen Qingqiu as she takes Luo Binghe from his arms, then almost skips away.

“Hei-er is such a good boy,” she praises, petting him behind the ear. It’s not as good as when Shen Qingqiu did it, but it’s still nice. “I knew this would work. Shizun almost even smiled again!”

That catches Luo Binghe up. Oh. That’s right. Shen Qingqiu has been acting like he’s grieving for long enough that everyone is surprised if he acts like himself. He’d kind of forgotten within the bliss of being coddled for hours.

“Tomorrow, this Yingying may have to forget to close the dorm room door and let Hei-er escape.”

Wow, Shen Qingqiu’s disciples really have just gotten more sneaky in Luo Binghe’s absence. He wholeheartedly approves, especially since all of them are protective enough of Shizun to guard him from all the things he doesn’t notice or doesn’t perceive as any kind of threat.

Like Liu Qingge.

It’s not that Luo Binghe set out to antagonize Liu Qingge on purpose when he visits the next day. It’s just that his stupid tiny dog brain can’t understand that Liu Qingge isn’t a big awful monster here to threaten his poor sweet Shizun! Yeah, that’s the story Luo Binghe is going with.

“You got a pet,” Liu Qingge says, glaring down as Luo Binghe hops around and barks at him, gnashing his teeth like he has for the last several minutes to little effect.

“A stray. Yingying wanted to keep him. I’m just watching him for now.”

Then he scoops Luo Binghe up and no amount of animosity towards Liu Qingge can keep Luo Binghe from melting into his embrace. He rubs his head up into Shizun’s hand and then goes boneless as skilled fingers scratch behind his ear perfectly.

“....You should keep it.”

What? Luo Binghe blinks from the comfort of Shen Qingqiu’s arms. If it were any other person, he might think Liu Qingge looks a little relieved.

“That’s up to Yingying,” Shen Qingqiu says, which is wrong but Luo Binghe will forgive him.

“Does it have a name?”

“Hei-er.”

Liu Qingge nods. “You’re keeping it.”

“I will do no such thing,” Shen Qingqiu lies, but Luo Binghe will forgive him for that, too.

At least Liu Qingge doesn’t linger. He hands over a forgotten fan and leaves. In gratitude for Liu Qingge’s unintentional approval of his presence, Luo Binghe doesn’t chase him off the peak nipping at his heels. He really wants to, though.

Ning Yingying comes to get him that evening, apologizing profusely for making him look after her “dear sweet puppy” for so long. It’s kind of impressive how good she’s gotten at lying through her teeth. On the way back to the dorm, she stops in the kitchen and gives him an extra helping of dinner.

“This is working better than I thought!” she says, grinning from ear to ear. “Tomorrow, we’re going to go play in some mud puddles and then I’m going to have a very important appointment I simply can’t be late for, oh goodness, who might be able to give poor little Hei-er a bath? Why, we’re so busy, considering how few disciples Shizun has taken on!”

If he weren’t absolutely sure that the only person he will ever want is Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe might have married Ning Yingying over this stunt. She really is the best shijie!!

But that does bring something else to mind that Luo Binghe’s been wondering about. There are three disciples on the peak he doesn’t know. All three are barely old enough to have been chosen, orphans, and mostly illiterate. They can’t have been on Qing Jing for long, considering the way they still take a sparkling glee in every little thing presented to them. Luo Binghe (jealously) watched Shen Qingqiu guide the three through some beginner qi training exercises earlier and while none of them are going to be anything great, he only pushed them as far as they were comfortable. It wasn’t quite the same gentle, patient way he’d once taught Luo Binghe, though. There’s something missing.

As otherwise normal as Shen Qingqiu acted during the lesson, he didn’t pat their heads even once.

This sits with Luo Binghe long into the night. The next day, he watches for it. Anytime a disciple spots him and takes him elsewhere, he invariably escapes their custody to go back to watching Shen Qingqiu. Not once through the whole morning does his shizun ever make even the smallest twitch like he’s going to pat anyone. It’s bizarre.

When Ning Yingying fetches him for their mud puddle plan, Luo Binghe is frustrated with his confusion. Why, why, why did Shen Qingqiu throw him away if losing Luo Binghe has done this to him? It makes no sense!! And it’s not like his shizun is acting, the man is a terrible liar if you know how to read him. He’s good at keeping his mouth shut, not at keeping people from knowing he’s doing it.

Shen Qingqiu is never going to make sense.

On the upside, Ning Yingying’s plan works. Her incredible guilt at leaving this duty with Shen Qingqiu would melt even the coldest of hearts. That’s how he now finds himself in a small wooden basin half full of talisman warmed water with Shen Qingqiu massaging soap into his fur.

“Never going to understand why dogs like getting dirty so much,” he grumbles as Luo Binghe gets one more step closer to heaven. “Mud is cold, and then it dries and weighs down your fur, and it smells.”

If Luo Binghe stinks, that’s just one more way to get Shen Qingqiu to bathe him. Noted!

“What if something had been living in that mud? Might have a secret colony of Blue Streak Piranha Sharks in there and you’d never know it. Then what would you do, ah?”

Eat them, Luo Binghe suspects. It’s not like Blue Streak Piranha Sharks are all that big and they target clothes before flesh.

“How sad would Ning Yingying be if she couldn’t even find your bones?”

Not as sad as Luo Binghe will be when Shen Qingqiu ever stops washing him. His fingers are magical.

The rinsing is not nearly as nice as the soaping up had been. Luo Binghe tolerates it because he is being a very good boy (except for when he isn’t) and it’s easy to mind for Shizun. Once the soap has been washed out of his fur, Shen Qingqiu wraps Luo Binghe up in a towel and then sits down with him on his lap. Luo Binghe gets a moment to shiver before Shen Qingqiu is vigorously rubbing his tiny body to work out the worst of the water. It is also not as nice as the soaping up had been, but it’s also not as bad as the rinsing. He feels like a static filled cotton ball by the time Shen Qingqiu is satisfied, and then the most wonderful thing happens.

Shen Qingqiu laughs. It’s quiet and not long lived, but it fills Luo Binghe up with light and he will treasure that sound for the rest of his days.

“Well, on to it then,” Shen Qingqiu says as he picks Luo Binghe up towel and all to carry into the bamboo house. He’s so content that he doesn’t even notice at first when Shen Qingqiu sets him down on-

Oh.

Oh wow.

This is Shizun’s bed.

Luo Binghe’s dog brain isn’t able to fully appreciate what a big deal this is, but he’s sure the next time he’s person shaped, it’s gonna be nuts. He’s already jittery like someone who’s drunk the strongest tea known to the world, it’s hard not to be excited.

“Hush,” Shen Qingqiu says, and Luo Binghe realizes he’s been making little blissful noises as he basks in being granted such an honor. No matter, Shen Qingqiu sits down and tugs Luo Binghe back into his lap before taking a comb to him even before Luo Binghe manages to quiet down.

It’s not the same as the few times he’d tricked Shen Qingqiu into brushing his hair as a teenager. His fur is much shorter, the texture is different, but the gentle press of the comb against his skin as it glides through the thick locks is familiar enough that Luo Binghe almost wants to cry. One more win for the dog shape, it just knows he’s sad but isn’t absolutely devastated the way he would be otherwise. That means he’s able to appreciate this experience more.

Shen Qingqiu’s hands are so gentle and he treats Luo Binghe’s tiny body with the greatest of care. Even after Luo Binghe is sure any knots or snarls in his fur have been brushed out, the brushing continues like Shen Qingqiu is getting just as much relaxation out of it as he is. That’s a nice thought. Shizun has been too sad for far longer than Luo Binghe likes.

It’s too soon when Ning Yingying comes to collect him, but Luo Binghe is pretty sure a hundred years wouldn’t be enough. Still, he minds and lets her take him to the dorms and curls up in the little bed she’d given him the second day he was on the peak.

Looking out at the stars through the window, Luo Binghe vows to them that tomorrow, he’ll sleep in the bamboo house. And then he will just refuse to stop doing that.

Chapter Text

Luo Binghe’s plan is simple: be just good enough not to get kicked off the mountain but annoying enough for anyone except Shen Qingqiu that the duties of caring for him keep getting shifted over.

So far, it’s working! At breakfast, Luo Binghe had scampered off while Ming Fan was putting down his meal and whined Shen Qingqiu out of bed. He got a soft pat and a gentle scolding, it was the best. At lunch, he escaped Ning Yingying to go bother Shen Qingqiu at the sword mound. Only a few minutes got Shen Qingqiu on his feet and then they even played fetch (which Luo Binghe now knows the rules of and is heartily in favor of running around and bringing things to Shizun like a good boy). And now at dinner, Luo Binghe flat out refuses to eat and looks as pathetic as possible. How could anyone resist wanting to pamper an unhappy puppy?! This idea is gold.

It’s maybe a quarter shichen of sitting miserably by his bowl and whining before someone thinks to bring Shen Qingqiu. The two younger disciples are beside themselves with worry, teary eyes that could almost compare to Luo Binghe’s. Each of them is tugging one of Shen Qingqiu’s sleeves as they drag him over.

“Yes, yes, I’m coming,” Shen Qingqiu grumbles without any heat. “Stop crying, everyone will think this master beats you.”

“But what if he starves?!”

“Ning-shijie would never forgive us!”

Shen Qingqiu sighs and then comes to stand before Luo Binghe. His face twists into something that is probably supposed to be stern, but all Luo Binghe can do is excitedly wag his tail.

“What’s all this, ah?” Shen Qingqiu asks as if a dog could answer him. “Making such a fuss.”

The wagging intensifies. Oh, his shizun’s scolding him again!! There is no purer joy. Just to show his appreciation, he starts eating. Shen Qingqiu lingers, shooting a look towards the disciples.

“He’s fine,” he says. “Now make sure to take him back to your Ning-shijie once he finishes.”

But the moment Shen Qingqiu turns away, Luo Binghe’s heart breaks and he can’t help but erupt into a loud series of whimpers. Freezing, Shen Qingqiu stares at him over his shoulder. He turns back to Luo Binghe, steps closer, and Luo Binghe obediently starts to eat. This routine happens twice more before Shen Qingqiu just covers his eyes with one hand, muttering something disparaging, but he stays as Luo Binghe finishes his meal because no matter what, Shizun is too kind to leave a poor, defenseless puppy to starve.

“All this trouble when he certainly won’t die from a single night without supper…”

Yes he will! He will surely die!! Shizun must stay and make sure he doesn’t become skin and bones!!!

The disciples take away the dish and as Shen Qingqiu starts to leave, Luo Binghe trots after him like he obviously should. To be honest, he didn’t think the disciples would notice as quickly as they do, but he’s barely out the door before one of them catches him.

“No, no, no, Hei-er is to go to Ning-shijie’s dorm!” she says, cruelly dismissing his distress. “He can visit Shizun tomorrow!”

Absolutely not, Luo Binghe will just die if he has to be separated that long, so he cries even worse. The other disciple comes up and tries to comfort him, but Luo Binghe isn’t having it. The moment the grip on him loosens, Luo Binghe squirms out and hits the ground running. He ignores the shouts after him, running with all his might towards the bamboo house. His stubby little legs can get a good turn of speed when he feels like it and he uses every bit of that now.

Something in his mad dash must make enough noise to matter because Shen Qingqiu pauses partway to the bamboo house and turns to stare at him with a look Luo Binghe can’t quite read. The tightness around his eyes could be annoyance, but the slight furrow in his brows seems sad instead.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Shen Qingqiu asks with just as much seriousness as he’d put to talking to a disciple. “Hei-er is Yingying’s dog. Go to her.”

Nooooo!!! Luo Binghe whines and runs circles around Shen Qingqiu’s feet to try and make it clear he is no such thing. This dog only belongs to Shen Qingqiu!

“Stop that, don’t you have any pride?”

None whatsoever if that means he can’t stay at Shizun’s side!

The disciples catch up, apologizing over their panting, and Luo Binghe isn’t about to let them catch him again. He dodges past one, trips the other into a face plant, and then evades until a set of cool, familiar hands catch him by the middle. Shen Qingqiu lifts him up to eye level, pinning the sternest look he can on Luo Binghe. It doesn’t have the intended effect, his tail just wags hard enough to shake his whole body.

“Ridiculous,” Shen Qingqiu says, then dodges back when Luo Binghe tries to lunge in and lick his face. “You over there, take him.”

But Luo Binghe starts crying the moment he feels the disciple’s hands. She jerks them back with alarm, looking up to Shen Qingqiu for guidance as Luo Binghe calms down and snuffles miserably (and cutely). Frowning, Shen Qingqiu tries to hand him over a second time only for Luo Binghe to go right back to loud, distressed whining.

“Of all the-” Shen Qingqiu shuts his eyes tight and then says, “Fine. Fine. Send Ning Yingying to me when you find her.”

Then Luo Binghe is settled against Shen Qingqiu’s chest and he thinks he might just burst. His plan is working so well! Shizun’s even walking towards the bamboo house again!! Genius! Luo Binghe is never going to leave Shen Qingqiu’s side again.

The leisurely walk is quiet. Having gotten his way, Luo Binghe is content to just snuggle up against Shen Qingqiu’s chest and feel the security of his master’s arms around him. Sure, he might have preferred it be when he’s human shaped, but this is good too! This is enough!! Shizun’s fingers idly petting through his fur, he’d give it up for nothing! Shen Qingqiu doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to put him down, either. It’s so warm like this, and Luo Binghe lightly naps to the rhythm of his master’s heartbeat. If the trip takes longer than usual, there’s no reason for either of them to mention it.

The bamboo house is dark when Shen Qingqiu steps inside. The air is stale and still. A far cry from when they’d once lived together, no warmth exists here anymore. Luo Binghe accidentally whimpers at the realization, but Shen Qingqiu just gives him another skitch behind his ear to calm him.

“What have I invited into my life,” he says to himself, finally moving to set Luo Binghe down.

How could Shen Qingqiu have become this quiet and distant and so very sad? His scent screams with it, now that Luo Binghe is getting better at catching the small hints of Shen Qingqiu’s muted feelings. Where are the soft smiles and quiet praise? Where is the bright eyed look when someone succeeds after hard work, where is the pride taken in the skills he’s been able to impart?

Where in this shell of a man is the master Luo Binghe longed so much to return to?

Shen Qingqiu lights a candle near the door but doesn’t bother with anything else. As Luo Binghe pads behind him, he goes to his room and sheds the top most layers of his robes. They get tossed over the privacy screen, no doubt gaining wrinkles from the thoughtless lack of care. Luo Binghe squirms with the need to fold them properly, but he has something else to concentrate on.

With half his usual layers gone, his elegant armor, Shen Qingqiu seems… small. He’s definitely lost weight. It’s easier to see now in the fragility of his wrists, shamelessly bared as Shen Qingqiu ties his sleeves back. Even this indulgent sight isn’t enough to distract Luo Binghe from the rest of his observation. Shen Qingqiu sits at his vanity and then catches sight of himself in the copper mirror. He’s quiet for several minutes, long enough that Luo Binghe can’t help but wiggle on the floor near his feet.

“Stupid motherfucker,” Shen Qingqiu says to his reflection in dull tones, and Luo Binghe just about dies. Shizun! Said! A vulgar! Word!!! Shizun cussed! This time, he can’t contain the need to run around the house to work off his sudden excitement at having witnessed such a break in decorum. If he doesn’t run, he’ll start barking up a storm and that is sure to strain Shizun’s indulgence.

As Luo Binghe rounds on his third circuit, Shen Qingqiu grabs him around the middle and lifts him up to give Luo Binghe a stern look.

“Settle down,” he says, like he thinks a dog will understand him. Luo Binghe loves him so much! “What- stop wagging your tail, I’m scolding you.”

Luo Binghe knows! He’s so happy he could explode!!!

Sighing, Shen Qingqiu sets Luo Binghe down in his lap and absently smooths a few longer curls away from Luo Binghe’s eyes. That just brings his fingers close enough to lick, but with only a twitch at the side of his mouth, Shen Qingqiu lets him do it.

“Why would you ever want to be around me and not those kids that just want to adore you?” he asks as his expression starts to fall, half lidded eyes going more far away. “If you had any idea how dangerous I am to things like you…”

Caught off guard, Luo Binghe just stares up at him, even the tail wagging slowing to a stop.

“Better you’re in Ning Yingying’s hands than mine,” Shen Qingqiu continues more quietly. “She knows how to treat precious things with care.”

…What?

But Shen Qingqiu says nothing more. He just sets Luo Binghe down on the floor again and starts taking down his hair. It’s only after Shen Qingqiu has brushed it out (using none of the care Luo Binghe always gave it) and twisted it into a braid for sleep that Ning Yingying arrives with a tray. The smell of it makes Luo Binghe’s nose twitch, but it’s not like he can cook meals for Shizun as a dog, not without someone noticing and ruining everything.

“Thank you, Yingying,” Shen Qingqiu says as he goes out to meet her, giving the food a disinterested glance.

Spotting Luo Binghe, she offers him a smile before she straightens up. “This Yingying apologizes, but she must ask Shizun for a favor.”

“Oh?” Shen Qingqiu doesn’t actually sound at all curious what the reason might be.

“Bo-shimei has an upset stomach. This disciple needs to sit with her to decide whether or not she should be taken to Qian Cao to be looked at or just sleep it off. Would Shizun be terribly inconvenienced if Hei-er remained at this bamboo house tonight?”

Best. Shijie. Ever.

“...I suppose it won’t pose any harm,” Shen Qingqiu says after a moment of thought, arms loosely folded. “He’s already eaten, even if he made a ruckus doing it.”

All for you, Shizun!!!

“This disciple will be extra sure to work on his training so that he doesn’t inconvenience Shizun!”

There’s no response except an absent wave, and Ning Yingying leaves with only a conspiratorial glance Luo Binghe’s way. Then she’s gone and Luo Binghe is left for a whole night with Shizun! The only way he could be happier is if he were human shaped and still getting smiled at by his shizun.

“Well. I suppose I’ll have to see to your sleeping arrangements,” Shen Qingqiu says, turning back to his bedroom and entirely ignoring the meal Ning Yingying had brought for him. He ends up taking one of the multitude of soft pillows off his bed and setting it down in the main room with a warm blanket on it. If Luo Binghe were actually just a dog, he’d find the arrangement to be almost kingly! But he doesn’t want to be in an entirely different room. He wants…

Shen Qingqiu pauses near his bed when Luo Binghe just follows him. He glances down, back through the door, and down again.

“No,” he says, heartlessly ignoring Luo Binghe’s mournful whine and pointing to the door. “Your bed is out there.”

But out there is so far away!

“Puppy eyes won’t work on me. I put down my best pillow, you could at least enjoy my sacrifice.”

His best?! Horrified, Luo Binghe races into the other room to grab a corner of the pillow and drag it out from under the blanket right back into Shen Qingqiu’s room.

“What are you doing now?”

Luo Binghe sits next to it, staring up and whimpering. The look on Shen Qingqiu’s face is more emotive than he’s seen since he got back, confusion and annoyance battling one another.

“Ugh, don’t tell me you’re one of those needy toy breeds,” he grumbles, but it’s empty and he just goes to fetch the blanket. Shen Qingqiu remakes the bed near the door but within his own room. “There, is that good enough?”

Obediently, Luo Binghe hops onto the pillow and snuggles himself into it. The bed would be a nicer place to sleep, but this is good too. He’s surrounded by the comfort of Shen Qingqiu’s scent in the blanket and the cloudlike softness of his preferred pillow type. Shaking his head, Shen Qingqiu goes to blow out the candle in the other room, then makes his way to his own bed. There, he inelegantly flops onto the mass of pillows and just lays face down for a while. Luo Binghe stares at him from his pillow.

What a new side of his shizun to see. The usual grace of his station has fallen away and Luo Binghe is in awe of being able to witness this less refined manner. If he has to be a dog for Shen Qingqiu to drop his guard around him, absolutely worth it! He lays his head down and stares at the bed until he succumbs to sleep.

In this shape, Luo Binghe’s dreams are mostly unformed. More ideas than images or scenes. The dog brain thinks more about chasing rabbits and chewing on things it shouldn’t than missing its dearest person. The dog brain understands how to love, just not the why of it. That doesn’t keep the dog brain from loving, though. Shen Qingqiu’s scent keeps his dreams gentle and mild.

And then he jerks awake as he hears Shen Qingqiu suddenly sit up with a cry of, “Binghe!”

The sound of his own name jolts Luo Binghe’s heart beating a million times a second. He stares up as Shen Qingqiu pants for breath, his eyes wide like a frightened animal and face so very pale. Moonlight glitters off wet trails down Shen Qingqiu’s cheeks. Slowly, he drags a shaking hand down his face, then back over his hair, several shorter locks having fallen free of the braid over his shoulders.

“Shit,” Shen Qingqiu whispers, but the vulgarity doesn’t please Luo Binghe to hear this time. It’s too hoarse, too quietly horrified. As Shen Qingqiu drags his legs up to hug against his chest, pressing his face against his knees just like a frightened child, Luo Binghe can’t stand just watching.

It takes a few whines before Shen Qingqiu turns his head enough to look down at Luo Binghe at the side of the bed, pawing at the sheets. “...Go back to bed.”

Luo Binghe whines, pawing more insistently. He makes a pathetic little hop to try and get up but doesn’t manage it with his tiny legs.

“Shit,” Shen Qingqiu mutters again with less feeling this time, then uncurls himself long enough to lean over the side of the bed and scoop Luo Binghe up. Any other time, Luo Binghe would be beside himself to share a bed with his shizun, but right now all he cares about is getting Shen Qingqiu to stop crying.

Swallowing audibly, Shen Qingqiu lets Luo Binghe clamber into his lap and pets him in a way that seems more reflexive than purposeful. His hands are still shaking as they card through Luo Binghe’s fur.

“Good dog,” he says, staring at Luo Binghe as if seeing something else. “Good boy.”

Luo Binghe leans into his hands even as he shifts close enough to jump up and stand against Shen Qingqiu’s chest. He doesn’t lick this time, just stares up the rest of the way to his shizun’s face with what he hopes comes across as supportive.

“How pathetic must I be that a dog is trying to comfort me?” But there isn’t any real vitriol to the words. He just sounds tired. He just sounds sad. “See, this is why you should just stick with Ning Yingying. She’s good, too. She’s a good student and she’s going to make a good wife for… for…”

Fresh tears spill over and Shen Qingqiu stubbornly rubs them away with his sleeves. “This old and still acting like this… Disgraceful.”

He pushes Luo Binghe off his lap and then turns to lay on his side as his body curls around itself. All Luo Binghe can do is stare at his back. No, this won’t do. He’s not just going to sit here while Shizun gets sad all over the place!

Luo Binghe whines and when that doesn’t change anything, he nudges Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder, whines some more, and then gets the idea to shove his cold, wet nose against the back of Shen Qingqiu’s neck.

“Hey!” But it has the desired effect. Shen Qingqiu turns a bit to glare at him and Luo Binghe hops over him to snuggle right up against his chest. There’s a moment when it seems like Shen Qingqiu might shove him away again, but it passes. Shen Qingqiu sighs, slumps back down, and then gives in to the call of Luo Binghe’s soft fur.

“Brat,” Shen Qingqiu says without heat. He lets Luo Binghe stay curled up and warm next to him the rest of the night, fingers sunk into black curls.

Chapter Text

Something is very wrong with Shizun.

Shen Qingqiu barely gives breakfast a second look and eats none of it. This doesn’t become a big concern until Luo Binghe, who has successfully evaded four different attempts at foisting him onto someone else today and annoyed Shen Qingqiu away from the sword mound twice, realizes he’d ignored lunch and dinner as well. Then he notices that none of the disciples seem surprised by this. Habitually abstaining? His Shizun?

Sure, most cultivators can survive on inedia indefinitely, but most cultivators don’t have Without-A-Cure disrupting their qi control on a semi-regular basis. They also don’t have Shen Qingqiu’s love for mortal comforts, which… seems to have evaporated, too. That night, after Luo Binghe has successfully warded off another attempt to remove him from Shen Qingqiu’s side, he watches as his Shizun sits in bed, staring out the window like he’s forgotten how to rest. It only takes an hour or so of this before Luo Binghe bullies his way back up on the bed again. Shen Qingqiu barely notices, just letting Luo Binghe cuddle up to his side and absently petting him. He’s in the same position when Luo Binghe wakes up.

All of this is wrong but fixing it will take understanding the problem. There are things Luo Binghe knows to be true.

One, his shizun had loved him before as a human.

Two, his shizun had rejected him for secretly being a demon.

Three, his shizun is utterly miserable now.

Four, he would do anything to make his shizun happy again.

The problem is that he doesn’t know how to do that. He barely understands just why his shizun is so sad in the first place. It can’t be Luo Binghe being absent from his life, despite the sword mound, right? There has to be more.

The next day of observation does nothing to fill in the blanks. At least Shen Qingqiu seems to have resigned himself to having Luo Binghe trot after him everywhere he goes, since he doesn’t try to pawn him off on anyone else again. Between a couple of the only classes Shen Qingqiu teaches himself, much reduced from before the conference, they play the fetch game and Shizun looks just a little less unhappy for a spattering of moments as he watches Luo Binghe race around and tumble over his own feet (mostly on purpose). After, Ning Yingying comes around to not so subtly slip Luo Binghe a treat while holding out a bag of something sweet smelling to Shen Qingqiu.

“That’s all right, Yingying. I’m-”

“Shizun must remember this Yingying is less than partial to tanghulu,” she lies, batting her eyes like an innocent babe. “It would be of great assistance to her, should Shizun take it instead.”

Shen Qingqiu’s brows twitch, and then he reluctantly takes the bag. “Very well.”

The bag gets set on his desk when they return to the bamboo house and then is promptly ignored. Luo Binghe hovers around Shen Qingqiu through the rest of the afternoon and evening, but Shen Qingqiu doesn’t glance at it even once. Everyone on the mountain knows of Shen Qingqiu’s sweet tooth, this behavior is so out of character that even the dog brain can’t help but whimper as he sits next to the desk.

“What is it?” Shen Qingqiu asks, a brow lifted just enough to notice. Luo Binghe makes a show of looking at the bag and then back at Shizun before whimpering again. The scowl that brings makes Luo Binghe’s tail want to thwack against the floor, but he restrains himself. He’s trying to look pathetic right now! “I doubt that would be safe for you to eat. Isn’t there a thing about dogs and certain fruits…?”

There could be and Luo Binghe wouldn’t care any more about it than he does now, which is not at all. Switching tactics, Luo Binghe runs a lap around Shen Qingqiu’s feet and then nudges him toward the desk until Shen Qingqiu reluctantly walks over to it.

“Stop pushing me,” he mutters, snatching up the bag of sugary treats. “Mm… Lychees are safe enough. I think. If you die, I’m blaming the Shanghai public school system.”

Whatever that means. Shen Qingqiu glares at the bag and then kneels down, pulling out one of the sticks to offer it. Luo Binghe looks at it and then back up at Shen Qingqiu, whimpering.

“What is it now?” Shen Qingqiu asks, brows knitting with confused annoyance. “Isn’t this what you want?”

After a moment of deliberation, punctuated by bouncing from one of his tiny paws to the other, Luo Binghe ducks under the stick and nudges Shen Qingqiu’s hand back towards him with his nose. This just causes more confusion.

“You don’t want it then?”

Mouth twisting, Shen Qingqiu starts to put it back in the bag. No, no, no! Wanting to cry, Luo Binghe’s tiny dog body just whines and barks piteously as Shen Qingqiu continues to stare at him.

“Make up your mind!” he says as he glances between the tanghulu and Luo Binghe. “You’re worse than a cat trying to decide if it wants in or out. First you want it, then you don’t, then you-”

Luo Binghe jumps and knocks bodily into Shen Qingqiu’s arm, which jerks back sharply enough that the topmost fruit on the stick hits him in the mouth. Not into his mouth though, Luo Binghe is unhappy to note.

“What was that even for?!” Shen Qingqiu shouts, but he sounds more startled than angry. Getting up, he gives the candied fruit a glare as he licks flakes of sugar off his lips, and Luo Binghe just about dies at the little flash of tongue. Unfortunately, it’s all for naught in the end when Shen Qingqiu sets the bag down and no amount of tantrums gets him back to it.

So that plan was a failure. Time for the next one.

Dinner arrives the same time as it had the night before and Shen Qingqiu shows the same amount of interest in it, which is none.

“Shizun…” Ming Fan says mournfully.

“What? Ming Fan should eat it himself if he’s so worried about the waste,” is the flat reply. “Don’t bring this master what he doesn’t ask for.”

The tray ends up on Shen Qingqiu’s table anyway. As Shen Qingqiu walks back to his desk, ignoring it, Luo Binghe puts his plan back into action for attempt number two. He sits down next to his master’s place at the table and then starts making as much of a fuss as he possibly can. He whines and barks, hops in place or just stomps his feet. He runs circles around the table before going back to the stomping.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Shen Qingqiu asks with a narrow eyed glare that just makes Luo Binghe try harder. “That’s people food! You have your own!”

Ming Fan had left a bowl on the floor for Luo Binghe, which Luo Binghe is ignoring because maybe a hunger strike will work! He keeps making a ruckus, even hopping around like he’s trying to get on the table itself. This is what finally brings Shen Qingqiu over and as soon as he’s standing in his spot, Luo Binghe stops it all immediately. He sits next to his bowl, wagging his tail merrily as Shen Qingqiu glares.

“Sometimes, I think you need to go on mood stabilizers,” Shen Qingqiu says. Luo Binghe has no idea what that means, but his tail thumps harder on the floor at Shen Qingqiu’s attention. Shaking his head, his shizun turns to go back to his desk but freezes when Luo Binghe goes back to whining. “Oh no, we are not doing this again. There’s no reason you can’t eat while I’m barely two meters away!”

Luo Binghe is undeterred. Muscles in Shen Qingqiu’s jaw twitch and tighten, but he steps back to the table. Again, Luo Binghe calms immediately and stares up with all the adoration he can muster.

“Don’t think I’m always going to do what you want just because you’re cute,” Shen Qingqiu grumbles, and Luo Binghe maybe loses his mind a little. Shizun thinks he’s cute! He runs a couple circuits around the table, then flops onto his back to give Shen Qingqiu access to his soft and fluffy underbelly, tail still wagging so hard it shakes his entire body. He could die happy in this moment!

And he’s successful. Shen Qingqiu rolls his eyes before sinking down to sit at the table, even reaching over to rub Luo Binghe’s belly. It’s pure ecstasy, he never wants it to end. Why would anyone not want to be Shen Qingqiu’s dog?! His tongue lulls out of his mouth as he melts under gentle, clever fingers that sadly draw away far too soon.

“Don’t complain,” Shen Qingqiu says primly. “Now, I’ve rewarded your awful behavior so you’d better eat.”

Luo Binghe turns back over and sits at his bowl. He looks at it and then back up at his shizun.

“What is it now?”

Very pointedly, Luo Binghe looks towards the foot tray and then to Shen Qingqiu. When that doesn’t get the preferred response, or any response other than the skin around Shen Qingqiu’s eyes scrunching up, Luo Binghe does it again.

“Are you serious,” Shen Qingqiu says in a way that makes it clear it isn’t an actual question. Luo Binghe yips excitedly anyway. “I don’t even need to eat! How the hell did those busybodies manage to turn a dog against me like some kind of nanny?!”

For the record, Luo Binghe is entirely on Shen Qingqiu’s side. He just also recognizes that sometimes Shen Qingqiu makes bad decisions, like pushing his cherished disciple-

“Why are you whining? I didn’t even do anything this time!” With a groan, Shen Qingqiu starts raking his hand back through his hair only to get caught on his hair crown. He jerks it free of his hair, taking several dark strands as well, and throws it across the room as a darker mood catches him. “Which I guess is an improvement, right? At least I’m not making it worse.”

Luo Binghe glances to where the crown settles and then back to his master. What is he talking about? Under Luo Binghe’s stare, Shen Qingqiu buries his face in his hands, then digs them back into his hair. He remains folded in on himself after, a graceless display he would have never shown any people.

“Will you please just eat already so I can get up?” Shen Qingqiu asks without bothering to straighten. Had… Had Luo Binghe gone too far? Even the dog brain is upset as he catches hints of anger and a deep, deep sorrow in Shen Qingqiu’s scent. The urge to whimper is just barely overcome as Luo Binghe obediently turns to his bowl.

Shen Qingqiu still hasn’t uncurled himself by the time it’s empty. Hesitantly, Luo Binghe scoots up to his side and tugs at his sleeve with his teeth. This at least gets a reaction. Shen Qingqiu shifts his arm and tilts his head to look at Luo Binghe through his loose hair.

“...It’s not your fault,” he says. “It’s nothing you did.”

His voice is quiet, deadened, but Luo Binghe doesn’t make the mistake of thinking he’s calm. The words catch Luo Binghe up, making a deep part of his heart throb. Isn’t that what he’d hoped his master would say to him when they meet while he’s not a dog? To forgive Luo Binghe for lying to him, for being nothing better than a beast? Maybe even for Shen Qingqiu to admit to regretting.

It’s obvious that day at the edge of the Abyss has affected Shen Qingqiu deeply. Whether that means he’ll accept Luo Binghe back or not is the better question.

Luo Binghe rubs his furry cheek against Shen Qingqiu’s arm and his master finally sits up again, only to tug Luo Binghe into his arms. The little dog heart thuds in Luo Binghe’s chest. Cuddling! Shizun is cuddling him again!! He’s barely able to keep still as Shen Qingqiu hugs Luo Binghe’s little body to his chest, but his tail cannot be stopped.

They sit like that for a while. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t say another word during it, just holds Luo Binghe and absently pets through his fur. The light of day has long faded by the time Shen Qingqiu gets up and carries Luo Binghe into the bedroom. There’s no discussion about the makeshift dog bed. Once Shen Qingqiu has shed his many layers of robes and changed into his sleeping clothes, he just crawls into bed and holds Luo Binghe close until he falls asleep.

The arms around Luo Binghe seem so fragile tonight. Luo Binghe wiggles out from Shen Qingqiu’s grip once he’s sure his shizun won’t wake up and sits to watch him for a while. There’s a deep pain in Shen Qingqiu that Luo Binghe has no idea how to soothe. And… There's a part of him that’s a little glad to know his shizun has been suffering in his absence. It’s the worst part of him, and Luo Binghe can’t even blame it on being a demon. He’d been this way long before his cradle seal broke.

It’s strange seeing his shizun like this. As easily as Shen Qingqiu has been able to show his more vulnerable side to a dog, has anyone else seen him like this? Is there anyone he can confide in? So far, all Luo Binghe’s seen is bumbling martial siblings that Shen Qingqiu doesn’t drop his guard for and disciples he won’t risk losing the esteem of. It’s lonely to watch. The urge to be person shaped again is almost unbearable, but Luo Binghe can’t risk losing this precious closeness. There’s no way Shen Qingqiu would show this side of himself willingly. Luo Binghe forces his way back into Shen Qingqiu’s embrace and rests.

The next morning, Shen Qingqiu’s mood hasn’t recovered. He barely deigns to dress, only pulling a single layer of outer robe on over his sleeping clothes and not even bothering to properly secure it. He does nothing with his hair, letting it hang in tangled clumps from the way he’d tossed and turned most of the night. His expression is no better. When he gets to his desk, he stares at the piles of paperwork as if they’ve personally insulted him.

The sound of boots on the path leading towards the bamboo house has Shen Qingqiu’s lip curling. He opens the door before Ming Fan can, causing Ming Fan to startle back, and then doesn’t let him in the house. Instead, Shen Qingqiu snatches the bowl of Luo Binghe’s breakfast and just closes the door in his face after declaring, “This master will be secluding himself for a few days. Do not interrupt me or let anyone else come to this house.”

While it’s kind of funny to imagine Ming Fan’s shocked face, Luo Binghe can’t help instead focusing on his worry. Shen Qingqiu sets down the bowl next to the one from last night and then looks around the front room. There’s a helpless quality to him, like he has no idea what he’s supposed to be doing with himself. With a huff, he ends up going back into the bedroom to flop face down on the bed and doesn’t get up no matter how much Luo Binghe whines and barks. In fact, his only reaction is to grab a pillow and hold it tight over his head.

Shen Qingqiu doesn’t get up after that. He mostly sleeps, but Luo Binghe also catches him just staring at the wall for nearly a full shichen. That evening, when Ning Yingying chances a peek in through the front door, Shen Qingqiu fakes being asleep to avoid talking to her. The look on her face as he ignores her call makes it clear to Luo Binghe that this isn’t the first time she’s seen this. She leaves Luo Binghe’s dinner, pets him while giving him a sad smile, and then goes out with the dirty and forgotten dishes.

Shen Qingqiu doesn’t go out the next day, either. He doesn’t even get out of bed. When Ming Fan arrives with the breakfast tray, he stares at the bedroom doorway with a pensive look on his face. Unlike Ning Yingying, Ming Fan seems to know he won’t get an answer if he tries to talk to their shizun. He sets down the bowl for Luo Binghe and leaves without setting down the tray.

The day passes much like the one before it. Luo Binghe zooms around the house both in an attempt to rouse Shen Qingqiu from bed and to run off the energy building in his little body. If he were human, he’d have already cooked his shizun a delicious assortment of finger foods he could enjoy while lying in. He’d have already brushed out Shen Qingqiu’s hair and lovingly soothed the hurt shards inside of him… Except he wouldn’t, actually. Because Shen Qingqiu would probably reject him all over again if he tried.

He knocks over a few things near the bed and uses them to climb onto it, bullying his way into Shen Qingqiu’s arms. There’s no resistance.

The sun is starting to dip again when Luo Binghe hears steps on the path. Shen Qingqiu is asleep, so Luo Binghe wiggles away to go see who it is this time. It’s no one he expects.

“Yo, Cucumber-bro!” Shang Qinghua calls as he walks in the door as if this is his own house. His loud voice rouses Shen Qingqiu, who turns to glare over his shoulder while Shang Qinghua gives him an unimpressed look through the doorway. “Rejoice, he lives! Your disciples are losing their tiny little minds worrying over you right now. Yue Qingyuan is about two steps from barging in the door himself.”

“Tell him to fuck off,” Shen Qingqiu says, then huffs out a breath and adds, “No, don’t do that. He’ll just look like a whipped dog again.”

“Nah, he might actually enjoy it,” Shang Qinghua says quietly enough for Shen Qingqiu to miss. He pulls off the bag hanging from his shoulder and carries it into the bedroom - as if he should be allowed in there - to drop right on Shen Qingqiu’s belly. Why are they being so familiar with each other?!

“That’s heavy, you asshole.”

Shang Qinghua gives him a lopsided smile that’s a little too bright to be real. “Amazon prime same day delivery.”

What the hell does that mean? Luo Binghe climbs onto the bed to shove his nose against the bag and get a good whiff of it. Sugar, flour, sweet fruit jelly. Some kind of confectionery. Is Shang Qinghua trying to court his master?! Luo Binghe will have his head!!!!

“Oh, hey there random tiny dog,” Shang Qinghua says, reaching to pet him before Luo Binghe gnashes his teeth threateningly. Shang Qinghua is quick to jerk back his hand. “Of course even your pet would be mean.”

“He’s not my pet,” Shen Qingqiu grumbles. “He’s Yingying’s and he’s lovely.”

Shizun!!!!!! Luo Binghe is both heartbroken and elated in strangely even amounts.

“Yeah, sure, that’s why he lives here with you, right?”

The look Shen Qingqiu gives him could curdle milk. And yet… Luo Binghe has the worst certainty that they’re friends. When did that happen?! Luo Binghe isn’t sure he’s ever seen them talk to one another before, much less hang out in Shizun’s bedroom while Shizun is barely clothed. It’s all so ridiculously casual and…

…Are they more than friends?

Luo Binghe dismisses that notion entirely. His shizun has better taste than that.

Still, his confidence is shaken when Shang Qinghua plops his ass down on the bed close enough that they’ll be touching if Shen Qingqiu rolls any further over. Why are they so close? Why is Shang Qinghua here? He digs in the bag without moving it from its place on Shen Qingqiu and comes out with a smaller bag of melon seeds and some kind of frosted custard bun that he promptly shoves into Shen Qingqiu’s mouth.

“Don’t glare at me, you know you like it.”

Shen Qingqiu glares at him harder as he takes the bun in hand, mulishly chewing up the part that got to his mouth. Once he’s swallowed, he asks, “Creep. What are you even doing here?”

“Ah, well…” Shang Qinghua scratches at his cheek a little nervously. “Ming Fan is totally losing his shit over your depression nap.”

“It’s not a depression nap.”

“What even happened, bro?”

Moodily, Shen Qingqiu glares off at the wall as he holds the mostly intact bun. “Nothing.”

“Yeah, that’s convincing.”

“Fuck off.”

“Unwarranted hostility, this is clearly an okay situation you’re in right now. I believe you one hundred percent.”

Luo Binghe growls at him, but that just serves to remind Shen Qingqiu that he’s there and… his face falls.

“...I can’t even control a dog properly, Airplane,” he says quietly.

Luo Binghe is struck true to the heart and can’t help the whine that comes out of him.

“Don’t think that’s really a reflection on you so much as proof that your dog’s an asshole.”

The barking that follows is entirely voluntary. Luo Binghe stops immediately when Shen Qingqiu reaches out to pat his head. Then it’s just as easy to lick his fingers. They’re covered with sugar, cleaning them is an important duty!

“You know, if you keep rewarding bad behavior-”

“Don’t.”

Shang Qinghua doesn’t.

Turns out, Shang Qinghua had brought over a thick stack of papers, but they aren’t anything peak or business related. It’s… a story? Or, the beginnings of a story. Shen Qingqiu proceeds to utterly eviscerate it in a stunning display of bluntness Luo Binghe can’t help but feel even more enchanted by.

It’s late when Shang Qinghua finally leaves. Shen Qingqiu spends most of the night awake, staring at a window. In the morning, he gets out of bed, bathes, dresses, and resumes his duties with Luo Binghe fretfully at his side.

Chapter Text

Things return mostly to normal. What passes for normal ever since Luo Binghe got back, anyway. Shen Qingqiu starts teaching again, continues ignoring meals, and is closed off from those around him. It’s still not good. It’s just better than him not leaving his bed.

With Shen Qingqiu up and about again, a disciple cleans the bamboo house one afternoon while he and Luo Binghe make their rounds. Every speck of dust left behind in every forgotten corner seems to have its own voice afterward, calling to Luo Binghe to tattle about the bad job done. While Shen Qingqiu doesn’t seem to notice, Luo Binghe certainly can’t leave this any longer! One’s surroundings can affect their mood. Maybe this will help a little!!

The next morning, Luo Binghe sadly gives up following Shen Qingqiu and stays home. That gets Luo Binghe a suspicious look, but his shizun has responsibilities to attend to and a level of guilt at having ignored them before. Once Luo Binghe can’t hear his footsteps anymore, he lets go of the dog form.

He immediately collapses to his knees.

It’s hard, getting back all the fully human thinking processes when the dog brain has been such a haven against Luo Binghe’s harsher feelings. The weight of it chokes the breath from his lungs, and he curls in on himself for a little while as he works on compartmentalizing it back again. This is so much worse than the times before. Being here, being home and with Shizun, seems so much more overwhelming than anything the dog brain experienced. Added to that, Shen Qingqiu’s current state…

Luo Binghe crawls to the side room and then loses what little control he’s gained over himself as soon as he opens the door, bursting into tears. It’s just how he left it. His bed is still made with his comforter, a gift from Shen Qingqiu. His books and manual are still carefully organized on his shelf, along with several trinkets he’d found or been given (by Shizun and Ning Yingying). The air smells stale and the level of dust makes him sneeze, but his place is still here like some kind of memorial alongside the sword mound. There seems to have been some attempt to clean, but it was a while ago and had been left unfinished when it happened. He’d have expected this room to be repurposed for storage the day he fell to the Abyss.

Luo Binghe sits on the floor and just cries into his hands. Shizun, Shizun, Shizun! This disciple is stupid and doesn’t understand! How could Shen Qingqiu be hurting so much when he’d thrown Luo Binghe away so easily? How does any of this make sense?! It’s like there is a hole in his shizun’s life that only Luo Binghe can fill. In the Abyss, he sometimes hoped Shen Qingqiu would regret. That Shen Qingqiu’s life would be worse without him. He hadn’t at any point thought he’d ever see that.

His precious shizun is miserable and no one seems to know how to help. If only Shen Qingqiu could accept his demon disciple back, Luo Binghe would take such good care of him. There’d never be dust in the house and his meals would always be appetizing. He wouldn’t be left alone to stew in his own thoughts with only a dog to soothe him.

How is a dog supposed to get him to eat or do more for himself than the bare minimum his body requires? How is a dog supposed to stop him from wasting hours or days at the grave of a lost disciple he himself cast aside? The best Luo Binghe has seen is Shang Qinghua cajoling some sort of life back into him,. Even that was terribly short lived. Shen Qingqiu may be functional, but he’s nowhere near happy.

Luo Binghe can understand the disciples being unable to do much considering their difference in status, but how have Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge let this go on so long?! As much as it pains him to think about it, he’d have expected one of them to swoop in and break through Shen Qingqiu’s obliviousness to their attention. It was obvious to Luo Binghe before how much they cared for him. How they coveted him.

How they would take him away if they had the chance.

Shutting his eyes tight, Luo Binghe fights off the sudden onslaught of Xin Mo’s relentless demands. He can’t risk messing anything up by giving into the sword’s want of violence and calls to kill the peak lords. The alternative he’s certainly not going to do either because if Luo Binghe sleeps with anyone, it’ll be his shizun-

The rush of lust Xin Mo shoves through him is enough to take Luo Binghe’s breath away for several seconds. Feeding off Luo Binghe’s own wants just makes it that much harder to fight off.

In his dog form, Xin Mo’s influence doesn’t reach him from whatever pocket dimension all his stuff goes when he transforms, and then it bowls over his defenses the moment he’s changed back. He’d kind of forgotten how bad it could feel, having spent so long without doing so.

But it’s fine. Whatever Luo Binghe has to do to keep his place here with Shizun, he’ll stop at nothing to accomplish it. He’ll defeat Xin Mo a hundred thousand times and still be ready for the hundred thousand and first time after that.

When he’s able to uncurl himself, Luo Binghe gets to work. He cleans Shen Qingiqu’s bedroom first, then the other areas. Every speck of dust is ruthlessly evicted, every item is placed back where it belongs. The documents on Shen Qingqiu’s desk get organized, his laundry is gathered for the wash if Luo Binghe has time.

One of the new disciples arrives near midday only to pause in confusion at the clean main room. She frowns, does a cursory glance around, then leaves with a shrug. If it were him, Luo Binghe would never have left before checking every inch of the place first. He goes back to work once she leaves.

Only when the rest of the house is sparkling does he turn to the side room. It’s surprisingly difficult to do. The weight of nostalgia chokes him at first, but he manages. Soon, it’s as clean as he’d always kept it before, like he’d never left. Luo Binghe does a last check and lets himself feel a bit of accomplishment.

That lasts only until Shen Qingqiu gets back and stops dead in the entry. He doesn’t even look when Luo Binghe in dog form scampers over to hop at his feet. Is he displeased? Did Luo Binghe forget something?! Shen Qingqiu’s fingers twitch, his face is pale, as he looks across to the open door to the side room. Shen Qingqiu stares at it as his breathing grows ragged, then walks over to stand in the doorway.

What is he seeing, Luo Binghe wonders. Even the dog brain can sense something’s wrong from the almost panicked notes of his scent, but no amount of bumping into Shen Qingqiu’s legs gets his attention. Shen Qingqiu steps slowly inside and goes to the desk. His hand hovers over one of the things he’d gifted Luo Binghe once upon a time, but he pulls back without touching it. His gaze drifts to the little desk, over the bed, all with a blank look Luo Binghe knows means he’s feeling something powerfully. Luo Binghe doesn’t even need the scent to tell him that.

Shen Qingqiu abruptly turns and storms out of the house. As Luo Binghe runs behind him with a plaintive yip, he tracks Ming Fan down and demands, “Who cleaned this master’s house today?”

“Cleaned-” Ming Fan blinks, alarmed and confused before his face hardens. “This disciple will be sure to reprimand them for whatever has been done wrong! He’ll go to the bamboo house immediately to redo it himself-”

“Not necessary,” Shen Qingqiu says in a curt tone. “Just… Be sure to impress upon them that the side room of this master’s home is off limits. No one may enter it.”

…What?

Ming Fan blanches and bows deeply. “Yes, Shizun-”

“This can’t happen again, I can’t-” Shen Qingqiu’s face goes blank. “No one may enter the side room.”

This isn’t Shizun being possessive. It’s… Luo Binghe doesn’t know what this is. Is he angry? Sad? Even his scent seems confused between the two. Is he just disgusted by the idea of other disciples possibly being tainted by the things Luo BInghe has touched? His whimper is ignored by both of them.

“This one will assure that all others understand!” Ming Fan promises, looking half like he might faint. “No one will enter it again!”

“Good. That’s… good. You’re dismissed.”

As Ming Fan runs off, Shen Qingqiu returns to the house but doesn’t enter it. Luo Binghe can’t help whimpering again when Shen Qingqiu just stands in the doorway looking in. Like it isn’t his, like he doesn’t recognize it, like it’s hurting him. Shizun, make sense! No amount of human intelligence within the dog brain understands!

“Fuck,” Shen Qingqiu whispers to himself before turning on his heel and going to the sword mound. Once he’s knelt, no amount of barking or whining from Luo Binghe draws his attention from the grave marker. It’s like just seeing the cleanliness, just looking into the side room, has broken something that had already been fractured. No wonder that door was kept closed.

Is this going to send him into another days long refusal to leave his bed? Is the reminder of Luo Binghe’s existence, of his care, such an upset? Why?! Is being a demon really this bad? Such a taint on what should be good things? So much about Shen Qingqiu has never made sense, but this might be the worst!

Carefully, Luo Binghe squirms his way between Shen Qingqiu’s arms to sit on his lap. If all he can do right is be here for his beloved master, then that’s what he’ll do. He won’t clean the house again. He won’t remind Shen Qingqiu of his lack. He won’t leave Shen Qingqiu alone.

Time passes slowly as Shen Qingqiu sits and stares wordlessly ahead. Ning Yingying comes by when the sky is starting to darken, but she isn’t able to rouse his attention by sound and doesn’t make an attempt to touch him. Glancing at Luo Binghe, she tries to offer him a smile, weak as it may be. Then she leaves.

Maybe a ke later, Luo Binghe hears someone on the path again before Shang Qinghua appears. Him again?! Luo Binghe almost launches himself at Shang Qinghua when he notices the unease in his face. His mouth is pinched, brows furrowed tight with the upset Luo Binghe can recognize in his scent. That isn’t the only thing off about his scent though. There’s something strangely like brimstone and snow clinging to his outermost robe, light enough not to blot out his natural smell.

Something about it reminds Luo Binghe of the Abyss, but he’ll think about that later. Has something happened? Shang Qinghua’s face only loses the worry right before he kneels at Shen Qingqiu’s side and reaches over to snap his fingers rudely in Shen Qingqiu’s face.

Shen Qingqiu blinks once, coming out of his fugue state the way he hadn’t for anyone else, and Luo Binghe hates Shang Qinghua so very much at that moment. Why is Shang Qinghua able to rouse Shen Qingqiu when no other can? Just how close are they now?! How many suitors is Luo Binghe going to have to chase off?!?!??! Luo Binghe wants to bite and bite and bite until Shang Qinghua is nothing but so much meat on the ground. He’s kept from it as Shen Qingqiu notices Luo Binghe in his lap, drawing the little dog body up more firmly against his chest.

“Sup, bro,” Shang Qinghua says in a bright tone that doesn’t show his worry in the least. “Forgot our appointment?”

There is no appointment, at least none Shen Qingqiu had written down where Luo Binghe could see it or said where Luo Binghe could hear it, but Shen Qingqiu just sighs in a put upon manner and stands. “Maybe I was just hoping you would.”

“Maybe I should run away to the demon realm if you’re just gonna be mean to me.” The pouty tone just makes Luo Binghe want to bite him more!

“Like you need an excuse,” Shen Qingqiu mutters, getting to his feet (and still cuddling Luo Binghe to his chest like a stuffed toy! It’s the best!! He wishes he could growl and coo at the same time!!!).

Shang Qinghua follows Shen Qingqiu into the bamboo house. There’s a tiny flinch through Shen Qingqiu’s body in the doorway, only noticed by Luo Binghe due to their close contact, but he doesn’t slow his stride or show any other sign. They sit at his table, Luo Binghe back in his rightful place on Shen Qingqiu’s lap, and Shang Qinghua drops a bag by it.

“So, you gonna tell me what today was about?” he asks as he digs in the bag for something. “It takes a lot for one of your ADHD minions to come running my way these days. I thought maybe you’d broken something.”

“Don’t call them minions,” Shen Qingqiu says, fingers scritching deliciously behind Luo Binghe’s ear and turning him into a pile of happy goo. “My Qing Jing disciples are delightful.”

Shizun!!!!! Luo Binghe’s tail smacks a fast tattoo against Shen Qingqiu’s thigh.

“Delightfully devious.”

“Just because they outwit yours, there’s no reason to invent slights upon them.”

Shang Qinghua snorts and finally withdraws a little box from the bag. Another gift of sugary treats, Luo Binghe will gnaw off all his fingers and toes one by one!!!!! At least he doesn’t shove any in Shen Qingqiu’s mouth this time. The box sits open on the table, treats sweet and delicate, but not nearly as good as what Luo Binghe could make for Shen Qingqiu. He’d make snacks Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t just want to eat, but couldn’t stop himself from indulging in!

“What is it, then?” Shen Qingqiu asks after Shang Qinghua has stuffed two of the confectionaries into his mouth. “Something with the bodies?”

…Bodies? Despite the still wonderful fingers in his fur, Luo Binghe’s attention sharpens. What bodies? Had Shen Qingqiu been assisting in some kind of nighthunt the day Luo Binghe was cleaning, or from before he arrived back home?

“Oh, they’re fine, they’re fine,” Shang Qinghua says with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Everything’s on schedule.”

Even more confusing. What on earth is Shang Qinghua cooking up?

“So? If not the bodies, what is it?”

“The problem is that my king can’t locate you know who in the you know where.”

What king? Had Shang Qinghua sword fealty to someone outside the sect? What human kingdom under the current Son of Heaven’s rule could give him enough incentive? And what had they asked him to do? The urge to bite Shang Qinghua resolves in a burst of barking that makes him jump before Shen Qingqiu gives Luo Binghe a warning squeeze.

“Enough of that,” Shen Qingqiu scolds. “What are you doing, ah? You’re the size of a football, even he could punt you across the mountain.”

“Hey!”

Whatever a football is, Shang Qinghua can try to punt him across the mountain and find himself shredded before he’d even moved one foot. But only after Luo Binghe is done basking in Shen Qingqiu’s attention. He’s not sure his tail has wagged so fast.

“Have I told you yet that your dog’s an asshole? Because he is,” Shang Qinghua says as he rests his head against his raised fist. Doesn’t he know anything about proper table manners? Elbows off the table! How dare he be so graceless in front of Shizun?!

“He’s more useful to me than you are.”

Shizun, Shizun, Shizun!!!!!!!! The energy in Luo Bingher finally bursts and all he can do is wiggle out of Shen Qingqiu’s hold to zoom around the table several times.

“What are you feeding him, meth?”

“Be quiet. He’s a puppy, they get excited.”

Only for you, Shizun!!!

As Luo Binghe goes for another circuit, Shen Qingqiu says, “What did you mean he can’t be located?”

“I’m saying he’s not there anymore and my king can’t find him outside it, either.”

“He must have missed him. It’s a big place, there are plenty of blindspots.”

Who and where, Shizun! Luo Binghe needs details to understand what you’re unhappy about if he’s going to fix it!! In his inattention, he trips over one foot and goes tumbling into a bookshelf. It dazes him a moment, but he gets over it quickly and bounds back over to Shen Qingqiu. The fond exasperation on his shizun’s face is so painfully familiar. All Luo Binghe can do is let himself get gathered up in Shizun’s arms again.

“Do you think there’s some xianxia version of a step in harness somewhere around here?” Shen Qingqiu asks. What is xianxia? A place? A group? Shizun, please give your loyal disciple some hints so he can bring whatever you want! “Is there anything that might approximate soft mesh? He’s too small for leather.”

Oh, it’s for him? Luo Binghe would gladly wear leather for Shizun! As much or as little as he likes!!

“Might be able to whip something up if I had any time. Or if you were nicer to me.”

How dare he be so flippant to Shizun?! Luo Binghe is going to piss in his shoes!!!

“He’s small enough for one of those dog purses,” Shang Qinghua adds. Maybe Luo Binghe doesn’t understand what he’s talking about, but he knows that look on his master’s face well enough to be offended.

“Stop changing the subject,” Shen Qingqiu says despite having been the one to do so. Cute!! “He has to be there. We’ve still got three more years before he’ll come for me.”

Luo Binghe freezes in Shen Qingqiu’s lap. Someone’s coming for his shizun? From the tone, to bother him? Hurt him? Worse?! Who knows what enemies a talented and beautiful immortal like Shen Qingqiu might have made over the years!

“Two.”

“What? I- Oh.” The understanding doesn’t seem to make Shen Qingqiu any more or less afraid. He just sighs, pets Luo Binghe, and says, “Two. Right. That’s still enough time to finish the bodies and get ready.”

The more they talk, the more confused Luo Binghe is. What happens in two years? Who is coming after Shizun?! Just let them try! Luo Binghe will eat them before they can even think of taking the first shot! He’ll eat them alive so their pain can be a lesson to anyone else who might dare to harm Shizun!!!

“Seriously, there is something wrong with your dog,” Shang Qinghua says as he gives the fervently barking Luo Binghe a narrow look.

“Hei-er is perfectly normal.”

Whatever Shizun wants him to be, Luo Binghe will be! He is the most normal dog!! It’s not his fault that they keep mentioning things he wants to fight!!!

“Tell your king to look for him again,” Shen Qingqiu says after a while, looking down at Luo Binghe with troubled eyes even as he keeps his hands busy smoothing out his fur. “It’s not like something down there can take him down for good.”

Why? Not important. Who is it that dares threaten Shizun?!

“Look, there’s not much I can do to influence my king’s actions,” Shang Qinghua complains pathetically like the pathetic thing he is that can’t even pathetically do what Shen Qingqiu asks of pathetic him. Not the way Luo Binghe could. “We’re not in the demon realm conquest stage yet, he’s still about the most powerful one around right now.”

Demon realm? Abruptly, all of Luo Binghe’s attention is honed on Shang Qinghua. What about the demon realm? Conquest? Just what kind of king is this? If this king is planning to invade and take over the demon realm, couldn’t Luo Binghe find a way to do it first? Put the whole realm under his heel in the name of Shizun?

But then he’d have to leave Shen Qingqiu’s side right when they’re finally united again.

“How long have you known him?” Shen Qingqiu asks in a cross tone. “Surely there has to be something he wants.”

“Ha, fat chance. He’ll only be malleable after he gets his ass kicked by my son, and even then it’ll only be for him.”

Shang Qinghua has a son? Hm. That’s interesting information, especially if he has the power to challenge this king of his. Luo Binghe would surely ground him into the dirt if challenged, but maybe such a person would be useful in his ideas about ridding the world of the demons his shizun so despises.

“I hate when you call him that.”

Luo Binghe blinks out from his wonderings, having apparently missed something.

“Yeah, duh. That’s half of why I do it.”

Awful, terrible Shishu! Just wait until Shizun goes to sleep, every pair of Shang Qinghua’s shoes will be shredded and marked!!!

The banter does nothing to lift the dark pall crossing Shen Qingqiu’s face. He takes a slow, deep breath, shoulders sagging as the air leaves his lungs. The scent is different than just worry. It’s quieter, dimmer.

“Two more years before he metes out my punishment,” Shen Qingqiu says dully. “And then there’s no more Shen Qingqiu.”

For a moment, Luo Binghe can’t breathe. Then his little dog body loses its tiny mind, crying and whining and generally throwing a loud fit. There’s little Luo Binghe can do to stop it, even if he wanted to. Person or dog brain, they’re both just as upset as the other by the very idea of losing Shizun after they’d just found him again. This world isn’t allowed to not contain Shizun within it! Luo Binghe will rip a great shear through the whole thing if it dares to take Shizun away from him! No! Never! Never, never, never!

Shang Qinghua is gone by the time Luo Binghe calms enough to notice. He still wants to cry, but it’s different with the dog brain in control. The dog brain is letting itself be soothed by the way Shen Qingqiu holds and pets it, how Shen Qingqiu offers treats with a hysterical undertone to his scolding.

Luo Binghe lets himself slide under the dog brain’s instincts and starts planning exactly how he will keep Shen Qingqiu safe and alive. The first step will be finding out everything Shang Qinghua knows.

Chapter Text

It takes barely a day for Luo Binghe to decide he needs to talk to Shang Qinghua alone and find out exactly how dangerous his son is, even if that means revealing himself. With Xin Mo in his hand, Luo Binghe is sure he could take Shang Qinghua down if needed. The problem is keeping the little weasel from revealing him to Shen Qingqiu.

Well, obviously he can’t reveal himself as Hei-er, so the best course of action is clear. Luo Binghe shows up in his dreams.

Waiting until his shizun is safely asleep, he sneaks out of the bamboo house and moves far enough into the forest to keep from being disturbed while still being able to keep watch on Shen Qingqiu and switches human. The sudden rush of Xin Mo’s rage hits just as hard as before, but Luo Binghe knows how to win this fight and beats it back. Not right now, not until he has Shang Qinghua’s son in his grasp. He sits down with his back against a thick stalk of bamboo, then lets his consciousness sink.

Having honed his skills on demons in the Abyss, there’s not much that can surprise Luo Binghe when it comes to dreamscapes. This one doesn’t change that. Around him is an office with hilariously tall stacks of papers and folders and scrolls, tipping threateningly around a desk where Shang Qinghua’s dream avatar sits and frantically scribbles away. The room is lit ambiently, too evenly for candles outside a dreamscape like this. It feels fitting for someone who spends his time looking after logistics.

The papers contain only gibberish since the contents mean nothing, it’s all just context for the dream. There’s a crisp bite to the air, like they’re somewhere even higher in elevation than the mountain and twice as cold. Formless shadows skitter across the edges of the boundless room. More ambiance rather than substance.

Shang Qinghua appears smaller and shabbier here than in the real world. A reflection of his self image? Several stands of his hair have fallen free of his top knot to curl along his cheek and down his back like little snakes. Exaggerated bags under his eyes and sunken cheeks point to a profound exhaustion. This kind of spiritual malaise is often deeply rooted, something dear Shishu should be attending to because it can affect cultivation.

Walking around the desk, Luo Binghe lowers himself down to sit without Shang Qinghua lifting his head.

“No more,” he says fervently, waving the hand not writing at an unrealistic pace. “This master is already overworked as it is and now they want more-”

“This one cares little for Shishu’s hardships,” Luo Binghe says. Jerking his head up, Shang Qinghua stares at him wide eyed.

“Oh, fuck me,” he says bafflingly, dropping his brush. “Why the- Did my dream just go into hard mode? What kind of shit is this?”

Hm. Vulgar when he doesn’t think anyone’s actually around, isn’t he?

“Begging Shishu’s pardon,” Luo Binghe says sweetly, “but I came here for information and you will provide it.”

Shang Qinghua blinks hard several times. “What.”

“This filial disciple wants to know about dangers to Shizun.”

Shang Qinghua stares at him, then squints. “What?”

“Tell me about your son, Shishu,” Luo Binghe says as he leans over the desk. “I’m waiting.”

“You- my what?!” Shang Qinghua shrieks as he scrambles back from the desk like the coward he is.

“Don’t be coy, Shishu. This one knows your son has intentions against my shizun.” Rising to his feet, Luo Binghe steps around the desk and slowly approaches Shang Qinghua. “I want to know who he is. Where he is. What his weaknesses are.”

“You-” And then Shang Qinghua freezes as all the blood in his face drains away. “Oh fuck, you’re real.”

Luo Binghe smiles. “Hello, Shishu. So nice to see you after all this time apart.”

It’s not clear if Shang Qinghua is still breathing. He looks at Luo Binghe as if staring down his own death, which might very well be true depending on his answers.

Striking him down to keep him away from Shen Qingqiu would be easy, Xin Mo whispers, and Luo Binghe gives himself a moment to savor the thought before pushing it aside. Shang Qinghua has his uses at the moment.

“Now, if Shishu wouldn’t mind not wasting any more of my time…” Luo Binghe comes to a stop above him, staring down his nose at the trembling peak lord before him. “Your son, Shishu. Where is he?”

“M-my son?” The answer comes out a little hysterical.

Obviously, Luo Binghe isn’t making his intentions clear enough to elicit worse. The scene around them morphs and flows until it resembles a jail cell, complete with shackles to hold Shang Qinghua in place. That gets a more entertaining level of fear into Shang Qinghua’s face.

“This is a dreamscape,” Luo Binghe says as he kneels down in front of Shang Qinghua, reaching out to seize his face in one hand. “That means I can tear you apart over and over until you give me the information I want.”

There’s a squeak, but it isn’t what Luo Binghe’s looking for so he viciously shakes Shang Qinghua a bit before letting go and resting his hand upon the man’s shoulder instead. “Should I start here?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Shang Qinghua wails with tears in his eyes. “What do you mean ‘son’? I don’t have any children! I’ve never even been with a woman before!”

…What? How much of that panicked spiel is Luo Binghe supposed to believe? The man is in his forties, isn’t he? Surely, this is just a ploy to lower Luo Binghe’s defenses. Well, it won’t work!

“While it’s admirable that Shishu would want to protect his son-” Luo Binghe begins, allowing for that much grace, but he’s cut off with another wail.

“I’m telling you, I don’t have any children! This master- this master practices cultivation purity!!”

It’s not unusual for high level cultivators to do so, considering the risks to their cultivation were they to indulge too much, but a peak like An Ding has little reason to worry.

“He needn’t always have done so,” Luo Binghe points out.

“Well! I did!!”

Hm. This isn’t coming across like a lie. Luo Binghe considers his options as Shang Qinghua cringes before him.

“You’ve never lain with a woman?” he asks. Shang Qinghua shakes his head. “He could be an adopted son.”

The shaking is more vigorous. “No children! None at all, this servant swears on his life!!”

“Then who is this enemy of my Shizun who will be coming for him in two years?”

That just gets him a blink. Shang Qinghua stares at him, expression slowly growing more incredulous by the second, before he explodes out with “What?!”

“I tire of this fruitless back and forth, Shishu,” Luo Binghe says as he looms over Shang Qinghua’s increasingly shrunken form. “Tell me the name of my shizun’s enemy so that I may tear the still beating heart from his chest.”

The tears run over the edge of Shang Qinghua’s eyes. “I swear, this servant swears, he doesn’t know what my lord is talking about!”

Luo Binghe lifts his hand and snaps. A section of the dreamscape forms itself into a familiar table with two familiar figures sitting across from one another with a box of confectionaries between them.

“Two more years before he metes out my punishment,” Shen Qingqiu says dully. “And then there’s no more Shen Qingqiu.”

“Holy shit,” Shang Qinghua whispers.

“Maybe Shishu would like to-”

And then from outside the dream, a sudden cry of “BINGHE!” snaps Luo Binghe back into the real world. He blinks, disoriented, before scrambling to his feet to run back to the bamboo house. His dog form is faster and he shifts midstep, racing through bamboo thicker than his own body. The door is still open and Luo Binghe zips inside, claws skittering across the floor as he skids around the corner to Shen Qingqiu’s room. Has Shang Qinghua’s son come for Shizun!? Luo Binghe’s time has come!

There’s no enemy to find or fight. There’s only Shen Qingqiu with his face buried in his hands as his shoulders shake. One breath catches and then the next, and Luo Binghe doesn’t even think before climbing up onto the bed.

It’s easy to wriggle his way into Shen Qingqiu’s lap and push between his arms, forcing his way into an embrace that quickly falls around him. Shen Qingqiu presses his face to Luo Binghe’s fur and just holds on as he shakes.

“Good boy,” he murmurs, voice cracking. “Good boy, good boy…”

It’s been several nights since he woke this way. Is it because Luo Binghe wasn’t here to be cuddled? Guilt wracks him in the worst ways for straying away from Shen Qingqiu’s side. It had to be done if Luo Binghe is going to keep his shizun safe, but still… Maybe there’s a way to dream delve in this form. He’ll work hard to find it so he never has to leave!!

Shen Qingqiu has only just stopped shaking when someone lands outside the house and comes racing in the door, a heavy pack slung over one shoulder and some kind of detection talisman in his hand.

“Cucumber-bro!” he says, panting like he’d run the whole way instead of flown. “We have to go!”

Blinking in the dark, Shen Qingqiu straightens up to give Shang Qinghua an incredulous look. “What?”

“We have to go now,” Shang Qinghua repeats. “He’s out. He’s in the human realm again, we can’t stay here bro!”

Shen Qingqiu flinches and draws his fingers free of Luo Binghe’s fur. “But it’s- There’s still two years-”

“I know! It’s changed, but the System woke up and he’s eavesdropped on us somehow.”

The what? System? Luo Binghe volleys his gaze between the two, trying to make sense of the panic. Wait, had something tipped Shang Qinghua off after Luo Binghe left his dream, something about the mysterious ‘son’ that isn’t actually his son?

“Pack a bag, we have to leave before-” Pausing, Shang Qinghua gives Shen Qingqiu a closer look. “You okay, bro?”

“Fine,” Shen Qingqiu says, predictably refusing to show his vulnerability. Only Luo Binghe gets to see that!! Swinging off the sheets, Shen Qingqiu gets up and grabs for his robes. “Get out, I’ll be done in a minute.”

“Just hurry. I don’t know how close he is right now. You remember how crazy wide his range can be.”

Shang Qinghua goes into the other room, leaving Luo Binghe to watch the way Shen Qingqiu’s expression falls to nothing. He looks around the room and at his robes, helpless in a way. With a quiet whine, Luo Binghe bumps up against his leg to snap him out of it. Shen Qingqiu shakes his head, then gets himself dressed before stuffing a qiankun bag full of random things, not even bothering to fold any of the robes first. Luo Binghe winces internally at the wrinkles that will inevitably be set into the rich silks. The handful of hair crowns and other headpieces get the same lack of care, along with a handful of books. When he’s satisfied, Shen Qingqiu leaves his room only to go straight for his desk to pick up a brush.

“We don’t have time for-” Shang Qinghua starts, but Shen Qingqiu shoots him a glare.

“I’m not leaving them without something.”

Whatever he writes is quick and short, all the while Shang Qinghua keeps looking at his talisman with growing nervousness. Then Shen Qingqiu strides out the door while smoothly drawing Xiu Ya.

Panic hits Luo Binghe immediately and he starts whining up a storm as he scampers after Shen Qingqiu.

“Hei-er,” Shen Qingqiu scolds with a sigh. “Go to Yingying. She’ll look after you now.”

She will not! Because Luo Binghe is never leaving Shizun’s side ever again!! Ning Yingying is dead to him, only Shizun!!!

“Shit, he’s going to wake up the disciples,” Shang Qinghua hisses as Luo Binghe’s distress grows louder, bordering on barking.

“He’s a dog, how am I supposed to- This just-” Shen Qingqiu stares hard down at Luo Binghe before stooping down to scoop him up. “Fine! Let’s go!”

“You’re bringing him?!”

“What am I supposed to do, leave him to call death on us both? What if he finds out a dog likes me and adds Hei-er to his revenge?!”

He can try to come for them! Luo Binghe will bite, bite, bite!

Shen Qingqiu ignores Shang Qinghua’s flabbergasted mutters and mounts his sword. Luo Binghe huddles in close to his chest as they lift into the sky with Shang Qinghua coming up swiftly behind them. They’re high above the mountain before Shang Qinghua starts off in what seems like a random direction. Maybe he has a safehouse somewhere? He seems like the kind of rat that would need one.

Cuddled against Shen Qingqiu’s chest, Luo Binghe stares down at the world that seems so very much farther down in this body. He can’t help the way his legs twitch with the need to jump down for solid ground, despite knowing it would mean his death. Barely, by the skin of his teeth, does he manage to keep from truly wiggling his way out of Shen Qingqiu’s arms.

It helps that he’s in Shizun’s arms! Cradled against Shizun, brought along to save him from harm because he’s precious to Shizun! Oh, if their enemy tracks them down, he’s going to save them all and show Shizun just how good a boy he can be!

They fly through the night and only stop for more than a few minutes once dawn has rolled in. Shen Qingqiu sets Luo Binghe on the ground and starts rubbing his arms, likely sore from carrying him all night, and Luo Binghe quickly takes the opportunity to go empty his aching bladder behind a tree. There are plenty of beast scents around, weak territory markers from those that have passed by that he gleefully covers with his own. Shang Qinghua’s brought them to a run down hunting lodge that is not good enough for his master (just one more show of why Shang Qinghua is a bad suitor!), but will have to do for a stopoff now.

They set down their bags and then Shen Qingqiu looks suddenly distressed. “I didn’t bring any dog food.”

Shizun! Shizun! Shizun! This dog is happy to starve as long as Shizun is safe and keeps him around!!!

“What- Well, shit.” Shang Qinghua looks down at Luo Binghe and then back up to Shen Qingqiu. “You didn’t bring food at all, did you?”

“Inedia still works fine.”

Shang Qinghua makes a disrespectful face like the disrespectful (terrible suitor) he is. “You should have just left him there. He’s going to slow us down.”

Luo Binghe really cannot be held accountable for the barking this elicits, but at least it gets him back in Shizun’s arms again with his tail thumping happily against him.

“Bipolar,” Shang Qinghua says.

“Don’t psychoanalyze him. That’s some kind of -ist I can’t remember right now, but it’s shitty.”

With a snort, Shang Qinghua digs into his pack and pulls out a bag of something before tossing it towards Shen Qingqiu. It nearly hits the ground, but Shen Qingqiu manages to shift Luo Binghe over to one arm and free up the other to grab it from the air just in time.

“What the hell-”

“Jerky. It should be safe for a dog and we’ve still got a while to go.”

Shen Qingqiu sets about feeding Luo Binghe a few strips from the bag, which he gratefully (in a begrudging way) gobbles down because he had been getting really hungry now that they’re stationary. The spice mix tastes weird with his dog tongue, but it’s unfortunately still a lot better than the bland fare he’s been given on Qing Jing. Bastard, stop providing for Shizun like this! You’re not supposed to be better at it than his disciples that aren’t Luo Binghe!!

Once Luo Binghe has had his fill and gotten to run around sniffing at things for a while, Shen Qingqiu calls him back over and they take to the air again. Another day passes as the three of them fly over the countryside. It gets more boring than frightening to the dog brain, enough that he’s able to nap along the way. He comes out of sleep to Shen Qingqiu setting him down again on a dusty bed.

“How long do you think it’ll take for him to find us?” Shen Qingqiu asks as he straightens, looking back to Shang Qinghua. They’re in a one room house, simple and poor in a way that makes Luo Binghe’s belly squirm in remembrance.

“Depends on how he bugged us before,” Shang Qinghua says. He glances out a window, surveying what smells like a bamboo grove. “He’s gotta know we’re gone now.”

Shen Qingqiu nods and sits at the edge of the bed. He obligingly pets Luo Binghe when he presses his tiny body against Shen Qingqiu’s arm, deep in thought.

“If I’m not there, he won’t take it out on the sect, will he?”

Blinking, Shang Qinghua pins an incredulous stare his way. “Worry less about them and more about us.”

“There’s no reason for him to raze Cang Qiong to the ground,” Shen Qingqiu continues as if he hadn’t spoken. “I stopped the abuse. He had friends!”

Wait, what? Luo Binghe peers up as Shen Qingqiu taps on his chin. “Without that motivation and not having to go through them to get to me, surely he’ll let them go.”

“Bro, we both know how my son gets,” Shang Qinghua says, looking very uncomfortable. They share a look Luo Binghe can’t fully read. Stop relating to Shizun so much, you pathetic suitor!! “But maybe? I mean, with how the whole Abyss thing happened…”

Luo Binghe freezes. Abyss?

“I had to stay in character and the System was breathing down my neck with that stupid countdown! I panicked!”

Why are they mentioning the Abyss and something Shizun did?

His insides squirm and go cold.

The one they’re talking about…

“I mean, it might have centered his revenge more on you,” Shang Qinghua says. His voice seems distant. “More personal betrayal.”

“Binghe deserves to tear this master apart,” Shen Qingqiu murmurs so softly, it’s almost inaudible, “and I mean to give him that chance once the bodies are done. We just have to run until then.”

The one they’re talking about… is him.

The little dog brain, predictably, goes berserk.

Chapter Text

Shizun thinks Luo Binghe is going to hurt him.

“What the hell?”

Shizun thinks Luo Binghe is going to torture him.

“Holy shit, will you shut him up?!”

Shizun thinks Luo Binghe is going to kill him.

“I’m trying!”

Those three facts swirl in Luo Binghe’s mind as his little dog body cries and whines. There are hands on him, familiar and cool, as someone tries to soothe him, but Luo Binghe can’t think of much worse than this. Even Shen Qingqiu just hating him is preferable to this.

Shizun, this disciple is stupid and doesn’t understand!

Had those years of Luo Binghe’s filial loyalty meant nothing? Did Shen Qingqiu truly think him a beast just for the trick of his dirty blood? Luo Binghe is the same person he’s always been, and that person is not someone who could ever hurt his master! All Luo Binghe wants is to stay at Shizun’s side for the rest of his life.

Eventually, he exhausts himself enough to just lay pathetically in Shen Qingqiu’s arms, too miserable to bear parting from him for even a second. The dog brain isn’t as hopeless as his human one might be, but it’s still devastated to think that Shen Qingqiu might not like it for any reason.

The looks he gets from Shen Qingqiu aren’t at all subtle. So much worry for this fluffy form when his shizun thought such terrible things about the real him. It’s enough that he nearly turns back human shaped so he can tear out his own heart and present it as an apology for his very existence.

“Your dog is psycho,” Shang Qinghua says a little breathlessly.

“My dog is perfect, you asshole. Everyone gets upset sometimes, there was probably some scary sound he heard or something,” Shen Qingqiu shoots back, then he pauses and adds, “Yingying’s dog, I mean.”

Shizun won’t even claim him like this! Is Luo Binghe’s existence to be nothing but pain and rejection?!

“Bro, the denial was cute at first, but you need to face facts.”

“Shut up, Airplane.”

Shen Qingqiu then proceeds to ignore Shang Qinghua entirely, which would normally thrill Luo Binghe, but he’s a little too busy being miserable even with the gentle fingers carding through his fur. Everything inside him is rolling with pain. He’s never been so hopeless. Why does he even keep breathing if this is how his most precious person sees him? What terrible things had he done in previous lives to deserve such a blow?

At least Shizun can love him in this form. Maybe he just won’t be person shaped ever again.

The day passes. Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua talk nonsensically, but Luo Binghe barely pays attention to it. He lies listlessly in Shen Qingqiu’s arms within the comfort of his scent. At some point, they pick up and get flying again, but this interests him even less. Vaguely, he wonders if Cang Qiong Mountain Sect have noticed their missing brothers, but this is as unimportant as everything else.

Shizun thinks he’s a monster that wants to hurt him. What Luo Binghe wouldn’t give to just fall from this sword and spatter to pieces on the ground. It’s only what he deserves! There must be something utterly awful within him if even Shizun’s opinion can turn on him like this.

Evil like his dirty, terrible demon blood.

When Luo Binghe starts whining uncontrollably, Shen Qingqiu just brings them down to the ground to offer to let him run around a bit, but then Luo Binghe just cries until he’s picked up again and presses his little face against his master’s neck. It’s better this way, easier to ignore the roil of pain and devastation in his heart when Shen Qingqiu holds him so tenderly.

“Think the Prozac plant will work on a dog or just poison him?” Shang Qinghua asks.

“I still fucking hate you for making that thing,” Shen Qingqiu grumbles back.

“Don’t you hate me for, like, everything?”

“That one in particular is just a show of what a hack you are! You didn’t even give it a proper name, just Prozac Plant!”

“Bro, I was at like four days without sleep. I literally did not have the energy for better.”

“Hack!!”

Back to nonsense. Luo Binghe continues to lounge in Shen Qingqiu’s arms for the rest of the day’s travel. Where were they going? Not that it really matters because he’ll still be a dirty demon mutt when they get there, but Shang Qinghua seems to have a specific destination in mind. As long as Luo Binghe gets to be with Shizun, anywhere is fine. Even if Shen Qingqiu thinks…

“I think he misses Yingying,” Shen Qingqiu says with a worried pet to Luo Binghe’s head to soothe some miserable whining. “He’s pining.”

“Told you we should have left him.”

“Fuck off, Airplane.”

It’s into the night and they’ve just stopped off to nibble rations and handle other bodily needs when a portal opens right behind Shang Qinghua to buffet the little clearing with ice cold air. Shang Qinghua has time to twist around with a shout before a large, obviously demonic arm jolts through to grab the front of his robes and drag him into it. Then the portal closes, leaving behind only a few tiny flurries of snow that melt before they even get to the ground. Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe stare at where the portal was for several silent seconds.

“Well, that was rude,” Shen Qingqiu says eventually.

Luo Binghe huffs his agreement, then wonders why Shen Qingqiu doesn’t seem either surprised by a demon kidnapping Shang Qinghua right in front of him, nor all that concerned for his friend’s life. It’s only a vague wondering, though. Luo Binghe doesn’t care about Shang Qinghua and prefers if Shen Qingqiu doesn’t care about him either.

Without their guide to wherever Shang Qinghua was taking them, Shen Qingqiu elects to just hang around for the night. They hadn’t gotten to a rest stop of any kind so he’s not able to lay down for actual sleep, but he settles into meditation and lets Luo Binghe curl up in his lap. The night passes by peacefully that way.

“You know,” Shen Qingqiu says after a long while, eyes slitting open to regard Luo Binghe thoughtfully. “Maybe he would like you. He likes Yingying, he’d probably like her dog.”

Luo Binghe huffs out a sigh and tucks his nose into Shen Qingqiu’s knee.

In the morning when there’s no sign of Shang Qinghua, Shen Qingqiu paces for a bit. He sets Luo Binghe down so he can tap at his chin with every step, eyes far away as thoughts flit in and out of his head.

“Okay, facts,” he mutters to himself after coming to a stop. “Shang Qinghua neglected to tell me where we were going, that asshole.”

Such an asshole!

“Binghe’s going to check any of my known haunts and contacts,” Shen Qingqiu continues, tapping things out on his fingers. “He’s too smart to have forgotten my habits, so he’ll have plenty of ideas.”

While Luo Binghe would love to take that compliment, it inspires a tiny little whimper of utter despair paired with the reminder of just what Shen Qingqiu thinks are his intentions.

“The escape body won’t be ready for a couple more years, so I can’t just kill this body to jump into it.”

WHY WAS THAT EVER AN OPTION IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?! SHIZUN!!!!!!!

“Hush, Hei-er, I’m thinking.”

Luo Binghe does his best not to bark, even though he really wants to. He settles for whining.

“Seeking haven with another sect would just put them in danger,” Shen Qingqiu mutters, turning on his heel to start pacing again. “Collateral damage is not the goal here.”

Because of course a demon would hurt innocent people to get to their goal, of course Shizun thinks the worst of him. Luo Binghe feels like his whole body is made for nothing but tears at this point.

“Maybe I could hide in a hidden realm for a few years?” Pausing, Shen Qingqiu considers the whimpering Luo Binghe that’s starting to tug at his trouser leg. He scoops Luo Binghe up to hug to his chest and gets moving again. “It should be about as safe as the open road, but where to find one that isn’t teaming with enemies or future harem members…”

Luo Binghe snuggles up against his chest, tucking his nose right up against his shizun’s throat. His scent, despite everything, is still pretty calming to his overwrought emotions.

“Maybe I could just become a rogue cultivator,” Shen Qingqiu says. After a few moments, he comes to a stop again. “Actually, that could work. I just need to do something about a disguise. This pretty boy face is too well known!”

Of course Shen Qingqiu’s face is well known, he’s a great and powerful immortal! Who wouldn’t want to gaze upon his greatness?!

“Cutting my hair is out,” Luo Binghe whimpers hard at the very thought, “but I could sell all my clothes and start dressing like a commoner. Maybe wear a hat? Can I hide this much hair in a turban? Or would people think I’m part of some religious order…”

The muttering gets less purposeful at that point. Shen Qingqiu considers and discards several ideas for hiding his identity, but the basic concept seems to have stuck. Which is a lot better than KILLING HIMSELF TO HOPEFULLY TAKE OVER A FAKE BODY!!!!!!! (Who put that terrible idea into his head?!?!?!?!? They deserve so much shit in their wardrobes!!!!!!!)

(Luo Binghe bets it was Shang Qinghua. Asshole. He’s going to tear holes in the seat of every pair of pants the man owns!)

When the day passes without sign of Shang Qinghua’s return, Shen Qingqiu decides they’ve waited enough. He mounts his sword and sets off with Luo Binghe in his arms again, right where Luo Binghe should always be. Traveling without the annoyance of Shang Qinghua is infinitely better than with him. Shen Qingqiu chats at him off and on through the hours as they head for a city big enough not to be of much notice.

“Do you think Yingying and Ming Fan are okay?” he asks. Luo Binghe doesn’t particularly care about Ming Fan, but Yingying has always been his kindest ally. Hopefully, she’s not taking their flight too badly.

“They should have found my letter by now,” Shen Qingqiu says a while later. “Surely, that will buy us at least another few days before anyone gets sent out. Do you think it’ll be Liu-shidi?”

Probably. Maybe it’ll give Luo Binghe an opportunity to bite his ankles if he manages to track them down.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate all they’ve done for me,” Shen Qingqiu says as they finally spot a big city, quieter and less confident. “This is for them as much as it is for me! They’ll understand- Well. They won’t because I can’t explain it to them, but they would, if they knew anything. They… probably would. At least enough to forgive me.”

Luo Binghe nuzzles his neck and gives the tiniest little whimper, which just gets Shen Qingqiu to pet him again. Petting him seems to calm his master.

“Right. Nothing to be done for it now. Let’s just concentrate on our next steps.”

Selling his things to replace with far more humble ones nearly sends Luo Binghe into hysterics. Shen Qingqiu gets undercut to utterly criminal levels, enough that Luo Binghe has to be held back to keep from tearing into some of the unscrupulous merchants. Then Shen Qingqiu turns around and pays full price for the replacements! FULL PRICE! It’s enough to make Luo Binghe scream, and it definitely sets off several rounds of barking. At least that’s enough for a couple of the merchants to nervously offer a few freebies, even if they’re not all that valuable in the end.

Luo Binghe swears to somehow figure out how to alter his animal transformation so that he can speak because if he has to witness Shen Qingqiu’s shopping habits any more, he might just go insane.

“So much excitement for such a little thing,” Shen Qingqiu scolds in that gentle, indulgent tone that makes Luo Binghe’s tiny dog heart sing. They’ve settled in an inn for the night so Shen Qingqiu can change into the pieces of his disguise. His silky hair is braided and wrapped into a thick bun, just barely hiding within the hat he had purchased. Drab grays and browns do little to hide the inherent grace of his body. It all fits him well enough not to need a tailor, the kind of working clothes a laborer might prefer that suits a sectless cultivator just fine. Luo Binghe’s heart breaks a little at the thought of the rough fabrics against his master’s soft skin, but Shen Qingqiu barely seems to notice. He contemplates a few face masks but decides against them for now.

Xiu Ya gets tucked into his qiankun bag, though Shen Qingqiu does at least seem a little sad about parting with her. He buys a more generic sword, still serviceable but lacking the spiritual connection that really brings out a cultivator’s strength.

“As long as I can still kill monsters and keep people safe, it should be fine,” Shen Qingqiu mutters to himself as he practices with it. The sword isn’t as responsive as Xiu Ya, but he adapts to it well enough. Luo Binghe still worries. Anything can happen on a night hunt and Shen Qingqiu seems determined to go about doing some. Maybe Luo Binghe will just follow him and turn person shaped again if things get too hairy

The only real bright side to all this, other than Luo Binghe getting to stay at his side, is that Shen Qingqiu seems too distracted to be properly sad. It soothes the hurt little core inside Luo Binghe some.

In the morning, Shen Qingqiu sets out to find his first job as a rogue cultivator. It’s a simple haunting and goes smoothly, though watching from the sidelines does give Luo Binghe a miniature heart attack. He gets plenty of cuddles while Shen Qingqiu talks to the homeowners after, accepting his meagre pay, and they head off out of town when there aren’t any more jobs available.

“I can totally do this,” Shen Qingqiu mutters to himself with his fingers dug into Luo Binghe’s fur, sitting at the fire he’d stoked for their camp that night. “Who needs a sect? As long as I make enough to feed you, it’s fine. I’ll just travel everywhere. See the world. Visit all those places I couldn’t justify before.”

Luo Binghe nuzzles his neck.

“It’s not like they ever really needed me in the first place on the peak,” he continues. “The hallmasters and senior disciples did most of the work anyway.”

Now that Luo Binghe can’t agree with. He huffs disparagingly.

“What do you know? You’re a dog! Dogs have it easy.”

Pulling his head back, Luo Binghe gives Shen Qingqiu a look that gets Shen Qingqiu’s lips twisting on one side.

“Just let me have this. It won’t be long before someone tracks me down, work with me here.” Luo Binghe’s stare stays steady as Shen Qingqiu slows to a stop, his shoulders slumping. He looks away, brows furrowing visibly, then adds, “I just need to put off meeting him as long as possible. Is that really so much to ask?”

Guilt and pain stab into Luo Binghe’s chest. He whimpers, tucking his face against Shen Qingqiu’s neck again, but this time Shen Qingqiu shoves his own into Luo Binghe’s fur. His breath is hot and a little wet as it sinks through dark, curly strands, uneven and too quick.

“I miss him so much,” Shen Qingqiu whispers, like it’s a terrible secret and not the answering ache of Luo Binghe’s own heart. “It’s just a story, I’m not supposed to miss him like this. I’m not supposed to care.”

A story? Luo Binghe nuzzles a little against Shen Qingqiu’s hair, throat tight as Shen Qingqiu shudders and holds onto him tighter.

“None of this is supposed to be real, and then that stupid, fucking System just…” Shen Qingqiu sniffles and then coughs as it no doubt sends tiny bits of fur into his nose, but he doesn’t unearth himself. “Did I make it worse, being here? What am I even running from? I threw him into the fucking Endless Abyss! Shen Qingqiu deserves- I deserve his wrath!”

Luo Binghe whimpers, wiggling in Shen Qingqiu’s arms with indecision on what to even do about this. The kind of tears he can feel soaking into his fur aren’t healing. They aren’t helpful at all, his shizun is just making himself more miserable.

“The least I could have done was leave you at Qing Jing, because then you’d at least be safe when he comes after me,” Shen Qingqiu sobs. His entire body is trembling now. “But I didn’t want to be alone, and Shang Qinghua doesn’t count, that motherfucking hack, he’s just- I’ll get him killed, too.”

At last, Shen Qingqiu lifts his head, but Luo Binghe almost wishes he hadn’t. Tears roll quietly down Shen Qingqiu’s cheeks as he stares listlessly at the fire.

“I should just turn myself in to him. The replacement body won’t be ready for years, but maybe that’s okay,” he says softly as Luo Binghe starts licking at his cheeks to clean them. Yes! Yes, Shizun, let Luo Binghe come to you and explain that everything is okay and- “Maybe the world doesn’t need Shen Qingqiu in it anymore. Maybe I can protect everyone if I just take myself out for him.”

Luo Binghe’s heart stops. He freezes, the terrible notion of his shizun no longer being in the world seizing him up inside, and no. No, that’s not allowed. As terrible as Luo Binghe knows himself to be, he refuses to be the reason Shen Qingqiu might… That Shen Qingqiu…

Too much. It’s too much and his little dog brain can’t think, can’t make any of the pieces fit into something that won’t end horribly. Can’t think, can’t think, can’t think. He’s… Why can’t he come up with anything to do except whimper and whine and rub himself up against Shizun-

Because he’s a fucking dog.

So, he stops being a dog. Right there on Shizun’s lap.