Chapter Text
Everyone always complained about long ass days but lately his were becoming shorter... and shorter.
“Dunce face! I swear to mother fucking god if you fried your brain again!” He growled into his headset, glaring at the screen like it was the one that personally insulted him. “Chargebolt!?” Katsuki shook his head furiously and slammed down on the switch board to a nearby hero. “Oi! Where the fuck is Chargebolt?!”
“Hey dispatch!” Great. Fucking fantastic! He got the gold retriever. “Uh... he fried himself again.” Red Riot whispered. “Deku’s taking care of it at the moment.”
Deku.
Hero Motherfucking Deku.
Katsuki ran his tongue over his front teeth. There’s been a lot of talk about Hero Deku lately. Not that he fucking cares or anything but after the massive building claspe a few weeks ago, he swore that—
“Bakugo! My office!”
“I didn’t fucking do it!” He shot back after muting his headset. “I ain’t even looked at the bitch!”
His boss sighed heavily. “Bakugo, just get in here.” Groaning, he got up from his chair and made his lovely way to the boss’s office. Sara was a fucking damn good boss. She put up with a lot of his shit that no one else would at his past jobs. “Close the door.”
Katsuki raised a blonde brow but closed the door and leaned against the wood with his arms folded over his chest. “Now I might actually be worried for once.” Sara rarely shut her door unless it was to fire someone. Write ups were even handled calmly and swiftly. No need to close the door.
Sara sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “The commissioner called this morning.” Well, that’s never fucking good. “He’s very concerned about our number one hero.” Sara lifted her blue eyes filled with concern. “I am too, to be honest. He’s nonstop working ever since the tragic accident.” Over a hundred people dead and the main picture on the news was Hero Deku carrying out a small child’s limp body with tears streaming down his freckled cheeks.
But what the hell did this have to do with him?
“And I’m here why?”
The sighed heavily. “I need you to be his dispatcher.”
“No.”
“Katsuki pl—”
“I’m not helping that selfless brat fucking kill himself!” Katsuki hissed. “I’m not going to bring down the number one hero because no one can tell him to go home and fucking take a nap.” Katsuki scuffed with a shake of his head. “Sorry, I ain’t fucking helping.”
Sara frowned a little. He knew that she knew he was right. “Look, I know you are all about healthy living. Good food, daily work outs, you go to bed by eight like a weirdo.” Katsuki rolled his crimson eyes. And? “The commission is looking for someone to get Deku back to himself... not the shell he is now. Japan is noticing. Like you said,” Sara’s icy blue eyes darkened to the color of the ocean floor. “We will lose our number one hero if someone doesn’t help him.”
The blonde rolled his neck until the deep crack echoed in his head. There was no point in arguing with the woman. It was a lose-lose battle. Either he helped or didn’t and the outcome could still be the same. “Fine but I want to leave early on Fridays and if he doesn’t fucking listen to me, I’m done.”
“Well... he is a little stubborn.” She cracked a small smile. “But a sweetheart so please don’t make him cry on patrol, Bakugo.”
“No promises.” Katsuki turned and quickly left the room. He glanced over his fellow coworkers as he walked back to his desk, plotting down in his chair. It’s going to be fucking fine. Not like he has some stupid crush on the idiot.
Nope.
No crush.
Nothing.
Katsuki put his headset in his ear and typed out his report on Chargebolt, sending it off to the commissioner. Next, he navigated through the list of comms and clicked on Deku’s name. Here goes fucking nothing. “Oi. The names Bakugo.”
“Um, what happened to—”
“That doesn’t really fucking matter.” Katsuki couldn’t help but smirk and the small hitch in the nerd’s breath. “I run this show now, Deku. What I say goes. If I fucking tell you to sit down and take a break, you do it. If I tell you to go and get lunch, you do it. If I tell you that you aren’t fit to work today, you go fucking home and take a shower then climb your nerdy ass into bed.
“I run your life now, Hero Deku. If I tell you to fucking jump...”
Deku let out a small groan of defeat, “I ask how high.”
“So, I heard from a certain hero that you are babysitting our sweetheart.” Camie wagged her eyebrow at him. “Tell me more.”
Katsuki scuffed, propping his feet up on the corner of her desk. “He’s a pain in my ass, Cam. That stupid nerd doesn’t know how to fucking take care of himself! Ask me what the idiot had for lunch today! Ask me!”
Camie rolled her brown eyes, “What did Hero Deku have—”
“Peanut butter and fucking jelly on damn white bread!” He spat angrily. God! He wanted to fucking throat punch the idiot. “That guy needs to eat like three thousand plus calories and who the fuck knows how much protein!”
And which is why he was sitting with Camie on the seventh floor of the building. Deku turned off his comms completely when Katsuki started to lay into him. Not the damn brightest move on his part but still! He’s the number one hero and doesn’t know jack shit how to take care of himself.
The woman poked his thigh with her French tip nail. “Kats, he carries a lot on his shoulders and that building... the girl, even I felt heartbroken.” She frowned a little. “Deku doesn’t even smile anymore—unless it’s fake af—he’s not himself, he has no one and he’s shutting everyone out.”
“That sounds like a him problem.”
Camie rolled her eyes again. She was damn good at that. “Yes but Katsuki... he’s alone. Mom died a few years ago. All Might in the war. He’s alone and pushing away the only few close friends he’s got.”
Katsuki grunted, shifting in the chair. “What your boyfriend can’t help him?”
“You know jack well Ei can’t push him. He won’t.” It was Katsuki’s turn to roll his eyes. “He saw Deku through some dark ass shit and Deku asked him not to push him.”
“Pussy.”
“He’s a sweetie! Stop it!”
“I’m sorry.” Katsuki smirked. “Pussy bitch.”
The blonde woman shoved his feet off her desk. “All I’m saying is, be his rock! You already have to babysit him. Be his friend.”
Katsuki gave her a dry look. “Bitch, I don’t have any friends.”
“Then what the hell am I?!”
“A pain in my ass.” He snickered.
Camie flipped him the finger before turning back to her desk. “Go play nice with Japan’s Sweetheart, blondie.”
Katsuki wanted to protest, fight and go back kicking and screaming like a toddler who didn’t get the toy they wanted. He wasn’t cut out for making friends or... being nice. That wasn’t who he was or how his mama raised him.
His mama slapped him around as a kid and screaming at each other was the way they showed love. Not whatever the fuck other moms did.
Getting up from the chair, he patted her on the head lightly. “Drinks on Friday?” he asked softly. Camie was probably his only friend—maybe even sister material—and she accepted him for who he was.
“Of course! Ei has boys' night with the A-1 idiots.” She smiled happily. “Denki and Sero are so annoying! Sero is also dating Mina! She’s chill but bubbly! Then you have Denki who needs to just confess to Todoroki that he wants in his pants and on top of all that Uraraka won’t get off Deku’s dick no matter how many times he’s politely turned her down. Iida just gets pissed because he’s been trying to weirdly flirt with her. Iida and flirting is kinda gross.” she laughed.
Katsuki tilted his head, his finger twirling a piece of blonde hair. Camie’s hair was the best to play with. He loved to spend time braiding it or curling it. It was soothing, oddly enough. She never complained and her boyfriend didn’t give a fuck. “Why is Deku turning her down?”
Camie shrugged, “Ei says he’s bi and leans towards men, but that man can’t get a good date if someone paid the guy. Deku gets a lot of the creepy fans, stalkers or ugh the weirdos.” Damn. Katsuki even felt sorry for the guy. “Maybe...”
“No.” he said sternly. “Don’t even fucking go there.”
“But Kats—”
“Cam, I love you but fuck no. Do not even try to suggest something like that! His label is sweetheart and mine is asshole! It would never fucking work.”
Camie huffed but the smirk stayed in place on her pink lips. “So, you don’t want me to ask Ei for Deku’s new limited edition merch to get you for Christmas?”
This fucking bitch.
Katsuki let the hair slip from his finger. “I’m not going on a date with him.” No matter how huge my crush is. “Let me figure out how to get him eating right then maybe we’ll go to your boyfriend’s stupid boys’ night.”
The woman fucking squealed and reached for a sticky note. She quickly wrote down something, handing it to him. “Agency address. Maybe... you can meal prep for him and make it a cute little secret. I bet it would make his day.”
Katsuki took the paper, leaving without a word. Make him food? Taking a deep breath, he exhaled through his nose and stepped off the elevator.
“Bakugo! My office now!” Oh, fuck him. Katsuki picked up the pace, hauling ass into his boss’s office and closing the door. Sara looked pissed. It didn’t take much some days but this had to be the first time she was pissed at him. “I asked you to help him! Not make him cry!”
The blonde fell back against the door, eyes growing wide. “What—”
“Shut it.” Sara snapped. “I don’t like getting calls from any hero—especially not the number one hero—that they want to request a different dispatcher as they cry!”
“I ain’t rainbows and sunshine, Sara!” He defended. “I ain’t gonna hold his fucking hand and put a damn binky in his mouth!”
Sara sighed, leaning back in the chair. “I know... I just... why did you make him so upset?”
Katsuki ran a sweaty hand through his hair. He didn’t mean to make the stupid nerd cry but it’s frustrating that he was so fucking selfless! The idiot can’t even eat right and he’s out there just going to get himself killed. “Sara, you already know how I am. I hate when someone eats a fucking cupcake for lunch or comes in with the nasty sugar crap and a damn donut.
“Deku,” His name fell from his tongue with such ease. Normally, it was dumb nicknames but never with Deku. “he can’t even eat properly. That dumbass ate a pb&j for lunch. That’s what? Three hundred and fifty calories—maybe! He needs protein, healthy fats, carbs to keep him moving and a lot of them to keep his body strong for that damn quirk! So, yeah, I fucking laid into him.”
“Okay.” Sara nodded, over and over again. “Be nice to him. I told him that you were the only dispatcher at the moment. Please, Katsuki... be nice.”
Katsuki jerked his chin down in a nod. “No promises, Sara but I’ll do my best.” Cause like fuck he was going to fail now. Opening the door—a little too hard—he stomped back to his desk and sat down. He inhaled sharply through his nose, putting his headset in his ear. “Just fucking tone it down, Katsuki. Nice. Like with Camie.” He wiped his hands on his jeans and ran his fingers over the black keyboard. There were a few emails to get through, but he had to see if Deku was signed on, unmuted.
And there was the stupid green bubble.
Switching to the hero’s comms, he unmuted himself and cleared his throat. Should he pretend that he didn’t yell at the guy this morning or should he... apologize? Ew. Gross.
“If you're going to yell at me... don’t.” Deku whispered softly. Damn, the nerd sounded so sad. “I’m sorry your stuck with me.”
Katsuki stared at the screen, “I feel like the word burden is on the tip of your tongue.”
Deku let out a small wet laugh. “H-Have been all of m-my life.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve been an asshole all of mine, so we have shit in common.” Katsuki smirked a tiny bit. Just the corner of his lips. “I think you should go find a sweet fucking old lady, help her cross the damn street then go the fuck home.”
“Y-You cuss a lot...”
“My mama didn’t raise no bitch. I speak the truth with added flare.” Katsuki smirked turned into a wicked grin. “I like to be blunt and honest.”
Deku hummed. “Bet your teachers loved you.”
“Top of my class, bitch.” Katsuki snorted. “They tried to mess with me until the old hag got involved. Now, get out there and find a sweet old lady who may give you a fucking cookie.”
“Alright... I’m going.”
“Fucking good! One cookie not two!” Deku whined in his ear but didn’t say a damn word. Maybe a little fucking reminder would be good for him. “When I tell you to fucking jump...”
“I ask how high... Kachan.”
Katsuki’s brain halted. What the flying fuck was a Kachan?! “Oi! What the fuck you just call me?! HAH!? Deku! You fucking stupid nerd! Answer me!”