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Language:
English
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Check Please Song Parodies
Stats:
Published:
2015-11-08
Words:
266
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
7
Hits:
134

Georgia Boy

Summary:

Sung to the tune of "Mountain Gal" by Dorothy Shay

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

My boyfriend Jack is awful pretty
He wants me to join him in the city
I called right back, "Save ya pity--
I don't need your money to pay my bills,
Cuz I'm doin' alright.
Yes, I'm doin' alright
Right here in this Haus.

Well, a hockey bro from Chicago
Signed my jersey, and don't you know,
A hockey boy from Dallas
Signed me a hat.

And a post-game selfie
That was kind of silly,
I got with a man from Philly,
And I didn't even have to go to town.

All the hockey boys
From far and near
Bring me presents
When they go through here.

They come come to my kitchen,
They don't mind the drive.
When they're in town for a game,
They arrive.

Well an Islander
Came from New York,
All I got from him was a line of talk,
But I'm doin' alright,
I'm doin' alright
For a Georgia boy.

I've got hockey swag
With brand new tags,
Right from my hats
Down to my bags,
And you don't get those
Unless you know the right guys.

A bright red jersey
With Oshie's initials
From the Washington Capitals,
And their coach is wondrin'
Where he got those pies.

All the hockey bros
From far and near
Bring me presents
When they go through here.

They come to my kitchen,
Win or lose a game,
Cuz they know I'll feed 'em up
Just the same.

Now my education
Ain't so hot,
But I know what to do
With what I've got,
And I'm doin' alright,
I'm doin' alright
For a Georgia boy."

Notes:

Idk, I'm a huge nerd for old/novelty songs like this (my cat is even named after the original artist), and the idea of professional hockey players trading official team swag for Bitty's amazing baked goods hit my funny bone in just that way. So here we are!

I feel like between the Bruins and the Falconers (and any other teams in the general area, I'm not super familiar with the geography of the northeast, and I'm from Arizona so my sense of scale is kind of...skewed), Bitty would be kept pretty busy in the kitchen. Probably have to start an ingredients fund. And maybe Jack would have to intervene on Bitty's behalf so he'd have time to do school stuff and play his own hockey and actually sleep instead of feeding the entire NHL. Ok, this is getting away from me, lol...

(Note: the character in the original tune is HEAVILY IMPLIED to be a sex-worker, which is not at all what I'M implying about Bitty with this parody.)