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“Did it work?”
Karlach’s voice was quiet as it filled the forge. Dusk had glanced away as she put Dammon’s contraption into her chest, both out of respect for her privacy and as to not give their urge any new ideas. Now they watched as Karlach stood there awkwardly, turning and flexing her hands in front of her, frowning as small flames rolled off her fingertips.
She didn’t look any different. She still looked like their fiery friend, their adorable partner, but Dusk trusted Dammon. They reached out to press their hand to hers. And… nothing bad happened. No burning sensation like they had experienced before. The tiefling’s skin felt feverish if anything. Extremely feverish. Karlach flinched slightly. Probably out of habit, from a decade spent fretting about setting things ablaze with a single touch.
A bright, brilliant smile broke out on her face as she interlaced their fingers loosely. They never realized before how small their own hands were compared to hers. Their twitching fingers were practically dwarfed by hers. Dusk relished the contact a little while longer before pulling away. Karlach opened her mouth to say something but Dusk was already in motion, encircling their arms around the tiefling’s waist to pull her into a hug.
At first she froze in surprise. But once she regained her wits she returned the embrace eagerly, bending down to wrap her own arms around the smaller tiefling, pulling them closer to her chest. Dusk was never one for physical contact. Not that they didn’t personally enjoy it, they actually craved it a lot, but it made their urges grow louder, crowding their mind and crawling under their skin. Right now was a pleasant exception. Dusk’s body practically melted into the hug, the dreadful buzz in their bones lulled by the walking campfire in their arms. It was nice, so much better than when Karlach would carefully hug Dusk after bundling them in that tarp she called a blanket.
They squeezed their girlfriend a bit tighter, snaking their tail around her calf. Karlach hummed happily before flinching as Dusk moved their hands to rest on the exposed skin of her back.
“Gods, Dusk, your hands are freezing,” the hellion gasped.
Oh, right. They had been told that a few times by some of their companions. Usually Shadowheart, who complained loudly about it every time she helped them up after an injury. ‘Corpse hands’ she called them. Dusk supposed that Karlach’s elevated body temperature probably didn’t help with the matter.
“Sorry,” they murmured. Dusk started to move away but Karlach gave them a reassuring squeeze.
“Woah, being a little chilly doesn’t mean I wanna let go,” she said softly. Her arms remained wrapped around them but they were loose enough that they could still leave if they wanted to. But they didn’t want to. Dusk put their arms around her midsection once more, mindful of where they rested their hands this time. Karlach gave them another gentle squeeze before tucking her face between their horns, her tail swaying happily behind her.
And they were happy too, ecstatic even, but they were also nervous. Suddenly there was no longer a physical barrier preventing Dusk from hurting her. Their curse had been relegated to the same rudimentary stabbing fantasies, and even then the promise of molten blood searing their skin had staved off most of their urge’s creativity. Now they could easily hold her hand in their own and maim her with the other.
Dusk grimaced inwardly at the thought. At least the darker parts of their mind hadn’t caught up yet. It was still giddily conjuring up fantasies of shoving Dammon into his own forge, or dragging the moon cleric out into the dark forest, leaving her to the shambling horrors that lurked beyond the safety she had provided the inn. They tried to blink away the imagery as Karlach began to step away from them. She caught both their hands, holding them between the two of them.
“You’re all right,” she marveled as she looked them over, “No burns.”
Dusk said nothing, giving her hands a slight squeeze instead. That earned them another bright smile for their girlfriend. Karlach turned to say something to Dammon but their conversation fluttered past their ears. Dusk was too focused on the feeling of holding Karlach’s hands for the first time. That, and focusing on not sending Karlach hurtling into the infernal mechanic, thus sending them both tumbling into his forge.
They pushed down the thought as they felt Karlach pull the two of them into motion, drifting forward to follow. Dusk turned their shoulders slightly to wave goodbye to Dammon as they departed. He returned it with a smile and casual salute before returning to his work. They felt a bit guilty, having said virtually nothing to him today. They’d have to find a quieter hour to swing by and give him their thanks.
Karlach had at this point picked up some speed as she went. The two of them were practically jogging hand in hand across the camp's courtyard.
“Where are we going?” asked Dusk a little breathlessly as Karlach dragged them along.
“I don't know!” She declared cheerfully, “But it’ll be somewhere nice and quiet. Promise.”
Dusk perked up at that. They had assumed she would rush straight to the inn to catch up on all the hugs she’d been missing out on. The idea that she wanted to spend some time alone together first made their heart flutter.
They ended up at a little spot behind the inn, a small slope leading down to the water's edge. All sorts of wildflowers and grasses have sprouted up despite the hostile world beyond the Moonmaiden's protection. It was a nice little corner of the Inn and, as promised, it was quiet. Just the two of them.
After they settled on the ground, their backs against a stone wall, Dusk looked over at their partner. Karlach was glancing over at them with equal parts bashfulness and giddiness, her smile so wide it pinched her eyes. They gave her a small smile in return. Dusk never could resist the pull of her happiness, it was infectious.
“Hi,” they murmured, giving her hand a squeeze.
“Hey, you,” Karlach giggled, squeezing their hand in reply.
She was practically buzzing, her tail flicking in excitement. Small flames danced across her skin making her literally radiate happiness. Everything about her just seemed brighter. It was a good look on her. Dusk looked down at where their hands rested, watching the fire dance along her skin and flickering harmlessly against theirs.
“You’re still on fire,” Dusk noted. Before they could continue their thought, Karlach gasped and immediately tried to pull her hand away but Dusk caught her wrist in a vice grip.
“You burn, but it doesn’t hurt,” they continued gently, holding out their palm to show perfectly uncharred skin, “See.”
Karlach let out a sigh of relief, “Oh, thank the Gods. I got scared I was burning you.”
“You wouldn’t hurt me,” Dusk simply replied. The rest of the words went unspoken, the trust implicit.
“Yes, but I still don’t want to acciden—“
“Karlach,” they interrupted. The hellion's mouth snapped shut as she met Dusk's gaze briefly. This was a conversation they had trekked before, going both ways for that matter.
They didn’t really have the words for all they wanted to say right now. Dusk was too busy resisting the temptation to pull apart every joint in their girlfriend’s hand. Instead they scooted closer to her so their sides were practically touching. The tiefling pulled Karlach’s forearm gently into their lap, running their fingertips over her skin. She relaxed slightly at the touch, watching as Dusk held her hand but remained unharmed.
“Can I touch your scars?” Dusk asked quietly.
“Sure, they’re kinda impossible to avoid really,” Karlach chuckled self consciously.
Dusk tilted their head slightly but said nothing else as they began to trace all the nicks and calluses on Karlach’s hands. She was a bit convinced that her vast array of scars and burns detracted from her good looks but Dusk believed it was quite the opposite. She was very beautiful, every piece of her. They couldn’t really imagine Karlach without her scars, they were as much a part of her as her smile or how she mumbled to herself while doing things around camp or how she sometimes smashed empty crates when she was frustrated in order to cool off. Dusk ran their fingertips over the repaired skin methodically, appreciatively, trying to commit them to their faulty memory.
Karlach had fallen silent next to them, having brought her free hand over to rest on Dusk’s forearm, snaking her tail behind them to wrap around their hips. She gazed out over the river as the fingers of her free hand idly tapped patterns onto their arm.
“You’re thinking,” Dusk whispered matter of factly as they continued what they were doing. The question was implied. Karlach nodded in response, taking a few moments to gather her thoughts before verbally replying.
“I was just thinking about how nice this is,” she said, wiggling her fingers ever so slightly, brushing them against Dusk’s own. “I imagined this day a lot, what I’d do once I could touch people again. Was startin’ to get worried it might not live up to all my excitement. But this is better than my daydreams and then some.”
“Really?” they inquired. Dusk couldn’t imagine sitting here was all that glamorous. Not when compared to all the things Karlach has previously admitted to fantasizing about.
“Really, really,” Karlach confirmed with a warm smile. She shifted slightly so she could look at them more fully, her eyes full of adoration, “Ever since I met you, all I wanted was to be close to you, to touch you. Now that I can, I never want to let you go.”
Dusk could feel the blush flooding their face. The tiefling imagined they looked a delightful shade of violet right about now. They glanced down at the hands in their lap, gently weaving their fingers with hers once more, ignoring the gnawing urge to twist them one by one.
“I won’t let go,” Dusk whispered, like they were sharing a secret, “I’m yours, for as long as you’ll have me.”
Their girlfriend’s smile widened and her golden eyes seemed to smolder even brighter. Karlach ducked her head briefly, looking more like a bashful young lady than a boisterous barbarian. She then moved their hand carefully, bringing it up to her lips to kiss their knuckles softly, and then their wrist, right next to their scar.
“And I’m yours, completely,” she promised, opening their hand to kiss their palm before bringing it down to hold over her mechanical heart. The adoration in her eyes was joined by a playful glint, “Which means you’re stuck with me, forever.”
An airy chuckle bubbled up in Dusk’s chest, “I believe it would be more accurate to say you are stuck with me.”
“Stuck with each other, then,” Karlach compromised.
Dusk hummed in agreement, “Like two runaways.”
She giggled, giving their hand a squeeze as she leaned down to bunt their horns together gently, “I like the sound of that.”
They offered a small smile in response, looking up into her sunlight eyes as they nuzzled their foreheads together. Dusk let their eyes flutter shut as they basked in their partner’s warmth and affection, opening them again as they felt her sit back up.
“This is truly the best day of my life,” Karlach beamed down at them, “I really thought we’d already found the single piece of infernal iron on the whole swords coast. I still can’t believe you had four whole chunks squirreled away.”
Dusk grimaced, the recollection of their earlier lapse in memory tumbling in their mind, “I’m sorry about that. I really did mean to tell you.”
Karlach waved her free hand dismissively as she replied, “Don’t sweat it, soldier. Besides, who doesn’t like a nice surprise?”
They simply hummed affirmatively in response. Even though Karlach might not mind, it still didn’t sit right with Dusk. If they could forget to tell her about that, then what if they forget to tell her something else important in the future? What if they’ve already forgotten to tell her something?
Obviously there wasn’t much more they could do about it. They already meticulously kept notes in a small journal Gale had given them. Lots of things, of wildly varying importance, that they didn’t wish to forget, but it was only useful if Dusk (or Karlach or Gale or even Astarion when he wasn’t busy being a little bastard) remembered to write it down in the first place. If Dusk didn’t remember, and no one else knew, then the information was liable to just disappear into whatever void existed in their skull.
“Darling,” Karlach’s voice interrupted their thoughts, “I know you’re frustrated, but you’re gonna give yourself a headache if you keep that up.”
Dusk scowled ever so slightly as they flicked their tail in mild irritation. She was right, and they were annoyed about it. They were also annoyed that Karlach was comforting them about their condition after literally being told she was dying. But she did request that it not be discussed for a few days and they had already acquiesced.
They would say nothing. For now.
In the end Dusk settled for huffing out an aggravated sigh as they leaned their head on Karlach’s broad shoulder, resting their cheek on her bicep. The warmth she radiated was quite nice. Dusk could certainly get used to it. Karlach had taken to pressing her thumb into the back of their hand, massaging it gently. They could practically feel the stress melt off their bones as the two of them sat there in comfortable silence.
Dusk was suddenly struck with an urge. Not their usual sort either, the ones that were currently obsessed with formulating creative ways to kill the cleric they literally just met. They couldn’t even remember her name but they could still imagine running their claws down her arm, cutting away the delicate flesh from her bones. They remembered she had a wonderful voice, the kind that sounded best when it was begging.
The tiefling scowled inwardly as they shoved their visceral fantasies to the back of their mind. Dusk didn’t want to be thinking about her, not while cuddled up to their girlfriend for the very first time. Though, perhaps it was preferable than imagining Karlach in her place at a time like this. They hadn’t decided yet.
Their mind slid back to their previous thought. A desire that was wholly of Dusk’s own making, no dark urge involved. They slowly went into action, gently removing their hand from Karlach’s grip as they moved to seat themself in their partner’s lap.
“Is this alright?” Dusk inquired, despite the fact that Karlach had made no move to stop them and was already adjusting her legs to accommodate how they were situated.
“Dusk, darling, always assume I want you sitting on my lap,” she answered with a grin.
“You’ve thought about this,” Dusk inferred. They rested their hands on her biceps, not wanting to tempt fate at the moment by putting them anywhere else.
“An embarrassing amount, yes,” Karlach admitted, her smile becoming a bit sheepish. Dusk could feel all embarrassment burn off her skin. It was hot (literally), but not scorching.
Dusk hummed in reply. They ran their hand over her skin, tracing the intricate network of scars and tattoos with their fingertips. The flames leapt up to meet their touch as the fingers glided across her skin.
They flicked their eyes over to Karlach’s face when she squeezed their hips gently. She was looking them over appreciatively. Her gaze lifted up to meet theirs, her golden eyes brighter than usual. Dusk returned her gaze with a questioning look.
“I want to kiss you,” Karlach confessed.
As her breath ghosted over their face, Dusk realized that the two of them had leaned into one another, drawn together like magnets. They closed the gap to rest their forehead against hers, gazing into her molten eyes.
They wanted that too. They also wanted to send their shortsword into her chest to bring her engine to an early, grinding halt. A nice, satisfying screech of metal. They wanted to wrap their hands around her pretty neck as she whimpered her dying breaths, bloody their claws in her stomach while her blood was still hot, enjoy her flesh before the rigor mortis set in.
Dusk closed their eyes as they sighed through their nose, shoving down the worst parts of them. They wanted to give Karlach everything she had missed for an entire decade. Ten years worth of kisses and embraces and touches and torn flesh and cracked bones and —
The tiefling swallowed the nausea squirming up their throat. They wanted to be a normal tiefling. For just a little while. Dusk peaked through their eyelashes to look at their girlfriend. She was leaning her head back against the wall, her eyes closed, her nose nuzzled up against theirs. She was simply enjoying the feeling of the two of them being so close to one another. The notion sent the butterflies inside their stomach aloft. Dusk liked it too, just being close to her. But they wanted more.
Dusk steeled themself as they tilted their head, trying to seal away their unwanted impulses as they moved to press their lips to Karlach’s . Her lips were so warm, and so soft. Even the raised skin of the small scar she had there was soft. It took a moment for Karlach to gather her wits and return the kiss, but when she did, she did so enthusiastically.
Karlach brought her hand up to cup their cheek, her claws brushing up against their ear as her thumb stroked their cheek. They hummed in response, letting her take the lead. Dusk could feel all their thoughts start to slip away as they kissed each other. They didn’t want to think, they just wanted to lose themself in this moment.
The hand that held their cheek eventually drifted into their hair, combing through it as her claws brushed across their scalp. Dusk leaned into the touch, relishing the sensation, following the gentle tug of their hair. It felt so nice, so soothing. Their sighs melted into a moan as Karlachs lips moved down to their jaw, and then their neck.
“May I?” she whispered as she brushed her teeth just below their ear.
“Please,” was all Dusk could manage in response.
Karlach swore quietly against their skin before tilting her head to mouth along their throat. She was gentle for the most part, planting wet kisses along their sensitive skin, but occasionally they felt the sharpness of her teeth, nipping them before soothing their skin with her soft lips.
She kissed her way back up to their jaw, her lips brushing up against the tip of their scar. Then Karlach brought their lips together again, kissing them with a much greater hunger. They gasped as the hand holding their hips slid into their lap, her fingers slipping between their thighs. Kalrach took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, swiping her tongue into their mouth. Dusk’s head was spinning, but it was a delightful kind of dizziness. The kind they wanted to just fall into. The hand in their hair moved once more, tugging slightly, Karlach’s claws scratching against their scalp pleasantly.
And then she brushed against the scar hidden under their hair.
Dusk yelped, pulling away from Karlach as white hot fire filled their mind. It was a piercing, borderline electric, splintering pain that cracked through their skull, shattering the euphoria that had filled their mind and replacing it with agony and overwhelming fear.
Everything was simultaneously too bright yet too dark. Too much. They squeezed their eyes shut to try to escape it. The roaring ache in their skull was joined by searing pain in their chest, in their stomach, in their bones. The feeling of a knife peeling them open again and again, fingers searching under their skin, rummaging through their skull. Pulling, prodding, cutting, tearing, taking. Stitching up their seams only to rip them open once more.
They tried to pull away but something was holding them in place. They thrashed uselessly against their bindings, their panic overwhelming their mind. A voice drifted into their ears, too soft, too sweet. Always such nice words, followed by unimaginable suffering.
Finally in their desperation they were able to push through and reach out to their own magic. The plunged themself into the darkness immediately, frantically stepping through it to get away. Away from the torture, the pain. Away from the knife and the hands and the soft voice. They were not even looking where they were going, they just needed to leave.
They simply ran, their feet stumbling occasionally but never stopping. They needed to get away from here. Away from her. As far as they were able. Far enough that they wouldn’t be caught, not again.
They stumbled once more, but this time they didn’t catch themself in time. They fell onto their hands and knees in a pool of liquid. All they saw was red. A pool of blood. Blood and flesh and bone. They tried to stand, but their foot slipped once more, sending them back into the river of gore.
A sob ripped through their chest. They felt like they couldn’t breathe, like all their insides were put back wrong and now there was no room for the air in their lungs. The pain in their skull became white hot once more before vanishing abruptly. It was disorienting. The sudden absence sent their mind reeling as their hands sunk deeper into the pool of blood and gore.
But it was too cool to be blood, too loose. The ground below it too solid and smooth to be flesh. They realized slowly that they were kneeling in water, on a pebbled beach somewhere. They tried to focus but their mind was racing.
How far did they run? They don’t remember how they got here, but something about it seemed familiar. But it was nothing like where they were. The winding halls, the blood, the flesh, old stonework, the skeletons of abandoned buildings—
“Dusk?”
The voice was gentle, familiar, but they flinched away, fear flaring up once more. Part of them wanted to flee, to run until their feet were raw, but the other part wanted to go towards the voice. In the end, they couldn’t move, their joints were looked in place as the knelt in the water. Their gaze focused ever so slightly at their reflection.
They looked… different. Their hair was too short, or was it too long? It wasn’t right, but they couldn’t remember doing anything to it. And where were their piercings? Why was there a notch in their ear?
As they knelt there in befuddlement the familiar voice brushed past their ears once more, but the words didn’t quite reach them. The realization crept into their mind slowly. They knew who the voice belonged to.
“Karlach?” they whispered, their voice breaking ever so slightly.
“I’m right here, next to you,” she murmured, her voice laced with something Dusk couldn’t quite place. “Is it alright if I touch you?”
They were slow to respond, slower than usual even. Their thoughts moved like mud now and their mouth felt like it was full of cotton. Instead of answering, Dusk simply reached towards her, letting Karlach pull them up and into her arms. They melted into her chest. She was practically holding them up on their feet, their own legs were too unsteady to hold them upright.
They heard Karlach’s voice but her words didn’t reach them. They were lost in the overwhelming storm of emotions that brewed in their chest. Sadness, bitterness, resentment, fear. Dusk didn’t know why they felt this way. The memory was gone, melting away into the abyss of their mind, and they were too afraid to try searching for it. They instead focused on the warmth of their partner's touch, her arms circling around them.
It was nice, comforting.
Dusk stayed like this for a while, just focused on the feeling entirely. But then the warmth receded. They frowned as their eyes fluttered open. They were seated on the hill once more, in the middle of the carpet of grass and wildflowers. Karlach knelt in front of them, her hand resting on their bent knees.
“Are you with me, soldier?” she asked quietly, giving their knee a gentle squeeze.
“Yes,” replied Dusk after a beat or two. Their voice was hoarse and their throat felt raw. There was a pounding ache behind their eyes, a squirming discomfort on the side of their head. They brought their hand up to rub their face, only to realize it was covered in some kind of sandy grit. Puzzled, they rolled it between their fingers as they spoke, “What happened?”
“Well, uh, we were making out,” Karlach spoke with a mixture of awkwardness and concern, “and then suddenly you panicked. You wouldn’t respond to anything I was saying, you were just desperate to get away and—“
Karlach hesitated. She must have seen the fear flash in Dusk’s eyes as she spoke.
“Nonono, not like that,” the tiefling said hastily, waving her hand in front of her. “You were still you, you were just… somewhere else. Like you were reliving something unpleasant.”
“Oh,” Dusk mumbled, staring down at their hand with furrowed brows. They barely remembered any of that. It was disorienting. One moment they were kissing their girlfriend and the next they were sitting here talking to her. Anxiety gnawed at them, like a dog with a bone, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“I’m fine, soldier. All you did was push me a little. You might be strong, but you’re no brawler,” Karlach reassured them as she poked their arm with a claw.
Dusk said nothing in response as they ran their fingertips over the grit once more. Their aching head felt like it was filled with water. All their thoughts were just sloshing around. After a moment Karlach shifted herself slowly, moving to take a seat next to them. She gently took their hands into her own, dusting away the sand and silt as she spoke,
“We can talk about it later, alright? I’ll remember. And I’ll keep my hands out of your hair for now.”
Dusk frowned. That would explain the very bizarre headache they were experiencing. They should’ve guessed it already, their own hands always seemed to subconsciously avoid the small gash hidden just below their horn. They had touched it once, right after the nautiloid, and then… never again.
Dusk simply nodded in response.
When she was finished brushing away most of the grit Karlach kept the hand closest to her, rubbing circles into the back of it with her thumb. Dusk went to lean against her once more. As they did Karlach lifted her arm to bring it around their torso, pulling Dusk close to her side. She leaned over to kiss the curve of their horn before settling into a comfortable silence with them.
They stayed like this for a while, gazing out at the strange, moonlit veil that hung out over the water. Dusk wondered idly what it would be like to actually touch it, if it would feel like running their fingers over silk, like running their claws through soft tissue. In reality the veil just felt cold, like opening a door right after a snowfall.
“We should probably head back before our friends start looking for us,” Karlach said somewhat reluctantly, breaking the quiet they had nestled into.
They flicked their tail in dissatisfaction. Dusk didn't particularly want to return to the bustle of the camp. Too many voices. Too many strangers to hurt. To strangle, to stab, to mangle, to cut ribbons from their flesh.
Dusk sighed. They missed the safety and solitude of the wilderness.
“One more?” the tiefling asked.
It took a second for her to understand the request, but when she did Karlach flashed them a grin, “Hells, how could I possibly say no?”
She leaned down to plant a kiss on their lips, nice and soft. Before she could pull away, Dusk brought their arms around her broad shoulders, holding her in place. One kiss became two, then three, then four. Dusk leaned back, pulling Karlach with them until they were both lying in the grass. The hellion settled to be half on top of them, the weight and warmth of her chest against theirs was pleasant. Dusk could faintly feel the rumble of her infernal engine reverberate through their ribcage. Four kisses became five, then six, then seven, then Dusk lost count.
Karlach moved away ever so slightly, her lips ghosting over Dusk’s as she whispered, “I believe we agreed just one more.”
Dusk hummed noncommittally in response. They had no plans of stopping. Instead they reached up to press kisses along their partner’s jaw and cheek, following the faded scars that scored her skin.
Not that Karlach seemed to mind. She chuckled as they continued to trace the scars on her face with their lips. Her hand caught Dusk's chin and tilted their head so she could catch their lips once more. They sighed into the kiss, parting their lips slightly to let Karlach deepen it. Which she did, eagerly, completely forgoing her previous statement.
They let themself be pressed into the hill as their partner leaned into them. Dusk pulled her closer in their arms. They loved this, loved her. Enough to push her away gently as the temptation to bite off her tongue with the snap of their teeth entered their mind.
“Ready to go, darling?” Karlach asked, pressing a soft kiss on their bare cheek as she retreated. She looked down at them with bright eyes, burning a cool white instead of their usual liquid gold. Dusk didn’t want to go. They wanted to get lost in the starlight of her eyes.
They wanted to be the one that snuffed them out.
Dusk swatted the thought away, bringing their hand up to push the hair out of her face as they nodded. Karlach beamed at Dusk as she pulled them both to their feet.
“One more?” She asked, somewhat cheekily as she opened her arms towards them. Dusk huffed out a laugh before stepping into her arms, wrapping their own around her waist. Karlach held them tight as she swayed the two of them side to side before pulling away.
Their hands found each other as they left the embrace, interlocking as Karlach led the two of them back down the path, away from their quiet little corner and into the bustle of the Last Light Inn.