Work Text:
Future me hates me
by the Frank
for: some reason.
Catra picked her phone up from the far end of the coach where she had thrown it, only to look at it - again - and throw it away -again. She wanted to throw it away more forcefully so she really could hear some sort of crack or bump. But she only had one phone and the phone company weren’t as generous as they used to be. Just to do something, she reached for her coffee, only to find the mug empty. She closed her eyes and let her head sink back. She didn't want an invite, she was perfectly content on her own! A light tap on the floor and the softest of thuds told her that her cat had joined her on the couch and demanded cuddles. Without opening her eyes she reached out, her hand making contact with a soft cat belly. The soft purring made her relax, as it always did. Alright, perhaps the cat wasn’t exactly demanding cuddles, the darn furball had an annoyong tendency to know when she was stressed and try to comfort her. That was cute, but not when she wasn’t ready ro accept that she was stressed! She took a deep breath.
“I should just get this over with” she said to no one. “Just answer her, say no and spend the evening with DC Super Hero Girls.”
“Miao.”
“Be silent, feline. I can enjoy cartoons as much as any dryskinned teen.”
The cat was silent, it had probably not responded to her anyway.
“Yeah”, she said to no one again, “I don’t have time. I am not interested. It's for the best. I am…” She bit herself off. She should be rational, but that didn’t mean outright lying. The invite had piqued her interest and she was interested. And that was the worst part. She remembered exactly how it began. A lunch break five months ago, at a small coffee shop close to work. She and Adora had been talking shit about colleagues when suddenly…
“Oh! Catra, this is Glimmer! I don’t think you have met…?”
She remembered well the exact tone in Adoras voice. Carefree, relaxed, we’re-just-having-coffee-I-didn’t-expect-to-see-you-how-fun. But you never knew with Adora… she could be really sneaky. Perhaps this was her carefully planned revenge? High school sweethearts, moving in together, break up, don't talk for four years, start working at the same office, patch things up, wait 5 years and then - BAM!.
And this girl, Glimmers first words…? “Oh! A Magicat! Cool! No, you have NOT introduced us, Adora! Hi, I am Glimmer Moon. Nice to meet you!”
‘Oh a Magicat’. Wow. How did you know that, Sherlock? Catra remembered her tail stiffen, her ears perk up and she had to concentrate not to hiss. She should have, though! Without being asked, this Glimmer-girl had sat down at their table, ordered a salted caramel latte with her app, and more or less took over the conversation. Catra shook her head at the memory. Brat. And on the way over to the office (Adora, bless her heart, had forgotten her key card - AGAIN) Adora had said with that same damn voice “Glimmer is nice, isn’t she? She’s single, btw.”
Catra opened her eyes. Alright, that was definite proof that this was not revenge. That was Adora trying to be ‘smooth’. Pu-lease. She was a subtle as an exploding steam engine. To think that Catra once had found it cute…
Since then, she and Glimmer had met several times and she had learned to keep her tail and ears in check. No thanks to Glimmer! Already at the second meeting had she ticked off all the boxes in the qualification test for ‘Spoiled rich weekend-woke brat.’
Real doc Martins. Apple watch, latest edition. Bi-flag pin, Black Lives Matters-pin. Save Trans lives-pin. Insisting on paying for everyones food. A haircut that looked like a pink sponge cake. Fucking calvin klein jeans that drew everyones attention to her butt - not that Catra had looked! She noticed the logo and looked away! And casually making comments on her advances on the stock market.
(The pins wasn’t bad, but Catra had the feeling that this brat wasn’t genuine .)
Let me guess, english private school as well? I hope they bullied the shit out of you.
Catra should just have stayed away, let Adora keep her sugary sweet friends for herself. Sure, they had patched things up at last, and she and Adora were friends now. They were. But eff no she was friends with Adoras friends! Adoras wife was cool. Her brothers was… passable. The rest was so far from Catra that it would require a rocket for them to reach her. Flower girl with all her leftist agendas, Mermaid who should just go choke on her Boyfriends DICK and Look-at-us-we-were-lebisans-before-it-was-cool -middleagers-I-don’t-care-what-your-name-is. When she was desperate enough had some time in her schedule to hang with that whole gang, she always stuck close to Adora. The others could be idiots on their own. And Glimmer was no exception.
But for some reason it was more fun to hang out with the idiots and Adora when Glimmer came along. She had to admit, The girl had spunk, and a ruthless streak that had led to, along other things, a green Pepper eating-contest, a dance-off in the queue to McDonalds and a street race in nothing but shoes and feather boas at four a.m. That had slowly changed Catra's opinion of Glimmer, as a girl exactly in her taste. And once Bow had been added to the group she realized that those pins was not accesories but a deep part of Glimmers soul.
The fact that she was Bi didn’t hurt but… Catra was just looking. Just looking and enjoying the company. Nothing more, that was all she needed.
It took a further three weeks to realize that she had a crush. That was a bummer, but a crush was nothing she couldn’t handle.
But of course shit happened. Scorpia had joined them once, but that was apparently enough for her to fall head over heels for leftist flower girl. Which in turn led to Perfuma becoming a bigger part in her own Adora-free circle of friends. (Two people, Scorpia and Entrapta. But still. Annoying.) And to see them suck face the whole time made her realize…
That she was feeling a bit lonely. But only a bit! She was a happy single catmom and that was okay! She was tired of relationships! She needed a break!
But looking was not a crime, was it? She could ogle anyone as much as she wanted. Mermaid was kinda hot, as long as you didn’t listen to her. Which was hard, she couldn’t keep her mouth shut for long. Adora was objectively beautiful and she had seen her naked. But looking at your ex was not exactly approved by the UN so… Same with Scorpia. Perfuma was not Catras type even though she had cute freckles. Entrapta was… Entrapta. And middleagelesbiancouple was to much on each other. And the other two were guys.
That only left Glimmer. But that was okay. Besides, that stupid haircut was pretty cute in the right light. And again, things went to heck.
“I'm so glad to see that you and Glimmer have found each other,” Adora sad, one lunch in August. “She could use some positive things on her life.”
Catra had stared at Adora.
“What?”
“You guys? Aren’t you…interested in each other?”
“You can say ‘in love’ Adora and no, were not.”
“Oh. Sorry, Catra. I just thought… You always keep looking at each other and you bring her her coffee and… you always laugh when she laughs. Like you did with me. Which is totally cool, you have your life and I have mine and…”
Catra didn’t listen, she had other things on her mind. She did like the sound of Glimmer's laugh. She loved her passionate rants about politics and human rights. She liked the fact that Glimmer spit back Catras verbal jabs. She liked that even if she was rich, she was also a real person. (The day she told the gang of her lost father had almost caused Catra to shed a tear.) She did enjoy her ranting about music and reality shows, (and she did agree with her for the most part.) She did appreciate the moments when their eyes met and they exchanged a look of “these people, right?” “Right!”
And her big brown eyes were so beautiful, that Catra wished She could drown in them.
It was right there in that italian place next to the park with a blushing Adora next to her that she realized it. She was in love. with Glimmer Effing Moon. (Catra was raised a good catholic and she did not swear. She did other things but not that.)
Her first impulse was to run. And run she did, as soon as the opportunity came. A conference in Europe, and her boss needed someone to shout at. And Kyle had gotten sick at the last minute. That meant two weeks away and the perfect opportunity to forget Glimmer. She would be drowned in work! Yeah, no. Lonnie had already arranged everything and save for getting screamed at at lunch and again before dinner, Catra had almost the whole day off. She had tried to wander around the streets of Toulouse, only to find that the town was absolutely too sweet and cute for it’s own good and that Glimmer would love to visit and she would probably love showing Glimmer around and -NOPE. So she spent the next few days in her hotel room and the bar, laying on the very soft and white bed, perfectly made for two people cuddling and AAAAARGH!!!
That night she went out to a bar and ended up almost vomiting in the Garonne, barely escaping being arrested by the french police by running as fast as her paws allowed (another thing Glimmer would have loved.being involved in). She spent the rest of night screaming
“WHY! WHY! i DON’T WANT THIS! I DON’T NEED THIS! I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE AND IT’S NOT WORTH IT! WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SO BEAUTIFUL!? WHY!? WHY!?” alone at a vandalized bus stop
And she didn’t shut up until a dirty looking clochard told her in stereotypically broken english that “if she didn’t shut up and baised ca salope, he would go to america and drag her there himself”
The next day she could barely function, got all the papers wrong and got three shoutings from her boss but overall things was looking more and more okay.
She started to stroll around the city again, but now she tried to be more constructive. She did not want a relationship. She didn’t need one either.
And she had been through it all, she didn’t need it again. She didn’t want anymore headaches from endless arguments that usually ended with “Have it your way then!”. She was tired of heartbreaks, Adora had been the worst, but there had been others… Scorpia, Sunny, Sasha… At least Glimmer would continue to break the streak of S-exes… NOPE.
She didn’t want anymore nights lying awake with eyes wide open, looking at the ceiling and wondering what the H she had done wrong and why couldn’t anyone just tell her but eff that she had done nothing wrong it was they who were the idiots why can’t I sleep?
And she had one tattoo that bore the name of an old ex, she didn’t need another. She didn’t want another. She had been that stupid once, not again.
Yup. It was all clear and she returned to the states safe in the knowledge that she had rationalized away any future dangers.
And then Glimmer found out. And what do you know, she felt the same!
It was probably Mermaid that squealed. She probably wanted to get even for that epic takedown in pool that Catra had administered before she want abroad.
And she knew Glimmer. When she wanted something she went straight for it… And then it begun. Calls. Coffee dates. Sitting way too close. Trying to hold hands. And at least one slightly slushed make-out session. The only way that Catra survived was the fact that they still hadn’t used the L-words. They were just really good friends having fun, right? (Yeah, not even Scorpia bought that.)
That make-out session had been yesterday, at the end of an evening out with the gang. Glimmer had offered to get Catra a cab, and when she said no, she had accompanied her to the tram stop (with the others raisng eyebrows and giving them thumbs-up. Idiots.) They spent the eleven minutes waiting at the tram-stop kissing. Catra had wished she had dated to ask Glimmer to follow her home, but when she woke up alone she had been grateful for not doing so. She didn’t need that in her life. They had fun, that was all. And here she was now. She had barely finished her breakfast when she got the text from Glimmer, with a rather simple message. “I had a great time last night, and I really like you. Wanna go on a proper date? Dinner and a movie? And my place after? My treat.”
She had read it, and then she threw the phone away. Not once, not twice, four times now.
There was no reason, no good reason at all! The cons were way too many! She had made a list!
Besides, did she really like Glimmer?
…Okay. Yeah. She did. But why? She wasn’t going to say “It’s just something about her, I can’t say what!” because that was so cliche, so cheap romance, so Hallmark and so teen fan fiction.
But unfortunately for Catra, that was true. There was something about Glimmer that she found immensely attractive that she couldn’t pinpoint. It wasn’t the sparkle in her eyes. It wasn’t the way she laughed when she was really happy. It wasn’t her going all law school on some jerk who tried to go all white conservative christian dude on her because she wore a pride badge (but it HAD been HOT.) It wasn’t the fact that every time Catra came up with some shit, Glimmer was the first to join in (and vice versa.) It wasn’t the way she looked in a swimsuit (but it didn’t make things worse). It wasn’t the way she always called Catra out on her bullshit. It definitely wasn’t that she was rich, even if Catra was a bit worried about people saying she dated a sugar-mommy. Eh. It was their butts that would be kicked. And it wasn’t the fact that she was the first to offer a hug on a shitty day.
It was everything all at once.
With a groan she sent the cat away from the couch as she reached for her phone.
“Future me will hate me for this.” she muttered as she wrote
Sure. What time?
and then pressed “send.”