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Things can’t go on like this.
He still needs to fight on. He has already awakened himself, he can’t just stop here. He’s boiling with passion, with the desire to play more, defeat more, chase more of that heady feeling of victory.
Even if Reo isn’t here, even if Isagi has been the one chosen, even if he’s alone, he’s the protagonist of his world. He doesn’t need them. He doesn’t need anyone. He’s going to be the best in the world, and he’s going to defeat geniuses and monsters on his way to the top.
He can’t stop here.
He can’t stop at this point.
Someone like Bachira can be in the winning team, even though he has intertwined his wishes and dreams with others. If someone like him can be in this stage, then why can’t Reo do the same?
Why did he have to lose, why did he have to incite him to leave him behind, why did he have to make that face?
If he’s not going to be here, if he’s not going to believe that he remembers their promise, if he’s going to push him to abandon him, then why did he even ask him to play soccer together in the first place?
He should have stayed in that ivory tower of his. He should have stayed in his bubble, surrounded by those people who act like adoring peasants simpering over a king. He should have stayed far away from someone like him.
He shouldn’t have insisted that they play together. He shouldn’t have treated him like his presence is the only source of his happiness. He shouldn’t have spent that much together with him, making him feel like they’re actually on the same level.
Reo is such a hateful person. Reo is weak. Reo is manipulative. Reo is someone who needs others. Reo does not want to reach his dreams alone. Reo, Reo, Reo—Reo is someone to hate.
And he hates him so.
Hates him for not being here. Hates him for showing him those tears. Hates him for not insisting that he’s chosen. Hates him for not believing in him. Hates him for losing and not picking him instead. Hates him for accusing him that he’s forgotten their promise. Hates him for giving in, in the end, and asking him to drive the knife in.
He hates Reo so much.
He hates how he still remembers the way Reo likes to drape an arm over his shoulders. He hates how he still recalls the way Reo’s voice sounds when he’s calling his name and asking him to finish training. He hates how he still couldn’t forget how it feels to enjoy the Reo-limousine piggyback service. He hates how he still couldn’t erase the memories that are seemingly branded into the inside of his skull.
He hates Reo so, so much.
Rage and frustrations bubbles in his gut, burning a line all the way to his throat.
He doesn’t want to move. He wants to play again. He doesn’t want to get up. He wants to defeat the next opponent quickly. He doesn’t want to open his eyes to a room that doesn’t have Reo. He wants to get into the next stage so he can extract his vengeance already. He doesn’t want to stay here, surrounded by Reo’s memories. He wants to see Reo again.
One more thing to hate Reo for.
Life used to be so easy and simple.
He used to never notice anything. He used to be contented to drift in the background. He used to avoid the spotlight. He used to be satisfied with sleeping and playing games. He used to live like driftwood that went with the flow. He used to not pay attention to anyone or anything. He used to be alright with not having anything to be passionate about. He used to be like his namesake, calm and serene in the face of a bustling world.
But he couldn’t be that kind of Nagi Seishirou anymore, he couldn’t return to that past anymore.
In the same way that he couldn’t return to the past where he was still by Reo’s side, content to simply following his orders and dreams.
No, he still wants to reach Reo’s dream. Winning the World Cup together is the reason he’s here in the first place. No, Reo has already said that they’re over, has already gotten him to abandon him completely. Winning Blue Lock together is their answer to Ego’s challenge at the beginning. No, there could only be one winner, he knows that now.
His head hurts.
This is all Reo’s fault. He’s truly so hateful, causing him this much pain.
If only he didn’t sparkle at him so brilliantly that day, if only he didn’t introduce this world to him, if only he didn’t misunderstand him, if only—
—Ah, how troublesome.
Reo is such a pain in the ass.
He’s going to forget him. He’s going to forget caring about him. He’s going to forget all the happiness he has felt while they’re together. He’s going to hate him so thoroughly, and he’s going to use that to fuel himself forward.
That monster, after all, is powered by hatred, right?
Would Nagi be that strong too, if he could channel his hatred into a more powerful playstyle?
He hates, he hates, he hates.
He’s going to get vengeance against every one of them.
He hates that guy for being such a strong monster that he could defeat him easily. He hates Isagi for being such a core part of the team that he could manipulate everyone on the field. He hates Bachira for rising that high despite being so similar to Reo. He hates that other muscle gorilla for dragging Reo away just like that. He hates Barou for knocking Reo down.
He hates, he hates, he hates.
Most of all, he hates Reo.
He hates Reo so much, because of all of these feelings are because of him.
He should have known. He has already known that Reo is good at using his words and actions to get his desired results. He hates Reo for repulsing him and making him be the one to sever their tie.
He hates, he hates, he hates.
Most of all, he hates that he’s now left alone with all these feelings that have nowhere to go.
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