Chapter Text
"Tzuyu?"
"Hi. Sorry for coming so early, were you busy?" Chaeyoung is there, as she always is. No-one answered at the front door, so she took the liberty of knocking at Chaeyoung's studio, and her face now peeks out curiously at a dishevelled Tzuyu.
"No, what's wrong?" Well.
"Can I come in?"
"Sure, not to the studio, though, I think it's fine if we stay in the club area." Chaeyoung is sensitive about her space, maybe because of her art in progress, which is what she claims, or maybe because it is extremely messy, which Tzuyu privately thinks more likely. Chaeyoung takes a key, and Tzuyu follows her petite figure in the fading winter light to where she opens the back door. The club is empty, but Tzuyu still smells the sweat and cigarettes she smelt on the first day. Only the flavour of the cigarettes changes a little. She looks about at the dimness of things, the half-shadows of flasks and bottles and chairs before the lights go on, bathing everything in their whitish glow. A space heater goes on, just for the bar area where they sit. Tzuyu flopping into a comfy chair, and Chaeyoung at the bar, at a high chair, looking down. Tzuyu is still in the clothes she left the house in, dark blue over dark blue, letting only her hands peek from the long sleeves.
"Thanks. Can I get a coffee, stewardess?"
"Coffee? That bad?"
"No, I lied, tea for me as usual."
"That's more like it. You look awful, though." Without missing a beat, Chaeyoung springs down from the chair, and goes to get the barley tea, which is still not Tzuyu's favourite, but she is used to it.
"Well, I slept in a capsule hotel last night, and my neighbour was a snorer."
"Yikes. Wait, what about, weren't you sort of rooming with the pretty used-to-be-an-idol girl?"
"Not anymore, probably won't be for a while." Her voice, unable to stand the strain, wavers, cracks.
"Oh shit. You sound awful, too. Tell me all about it." Chaeyoung places the tea in front on Tzuyu, and she sips at it, sets it down with a sigh.
"What is there to tell? She came, she saw, she judged. Now she thinks I'm some kind of, I don't even know what exactly she thinks. She can't even look at me without disgust in her eyes anymore. And also I just found out I like her." To keep herself sane she stares at one of the buttons on Chaeyoung's shirt, an office shirt which just like all her other clothes looks large and awkward and messy on her. Chaeyoung remains silent, so she continues.
"I don't know, I, she must have come last night, I mean the night before but didn't even come over to say hi, probably because she saw me dance, and then today, no, yesterday, I don't know, she, her voice, the hatred in her voice, the disdain, I can't, she tried to apologize, but even the way she, the way she did anything when I was near her, I don't know, I, how am I supposed to be around her when I know she just assumes I'm not much better than an escort or something, and we don't even do that sort of thing, she could have talked it out, I should have talked it out instead of just leaving, I don't know, she said I was slutty, Chaeyoung, she just said it, I didn't know I would care so much about what she thought until she said it, I'm"
"Okay, calm, chill." Chaeyoung paces a bit, biting her lip, as if she was a detective in a story, working on a case. "Did you tell her what the work was?"
"No, I guess I,"
"Dammit. You could have done that during the probation period, right?"
"I don't, I didn't think it would be a problem, it pays well, and she was skipping her meals just to get by, she thinks I can't tell,"
"Right, yes, you said you needed money, the first night I met you." So she did. It was impossible. Impossible to return to the flat, equally impossible to let Mina starve. Sending her part of her salary would be more like an insult, a provocation. Chaeyoung looks angry, glaring at nothing in particular, as if Mina were really there.
"If I were you," slowly, as if afraid of her reaction, "if I were you I would just let her starve."
"What? No!"
"What business is it of hers how you get the rent money? She should be fucking grateful you even cover her expenses-"
"No, it's, urgh, wait, later, I just realized, I need to call, call someone, I don't know if she's told anyone we fought, it'd be just like her to keep mum-" Chaeyoung shrugs, points her to the phone. She wonders what it is like, to care so deeply for someone who hates you.
"Hello? Momo?"
"Yes, speaking?"
"It's Tzuyu, I'm calling from the, uh, place I told you I was working, the new place."
"Don't your shifts start late at night?"
"So didn't Mina tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"We fought, and I've been out of the flat these two days. Don't worry about the airport shifts, I'll be there. Please check up on her, you or Sana or someone, I'm, I"
"Fuck. Mina didn't say a word about this to us. Is it okay if I come over to talk? I can't do this on the phone. I'll try to get Sana to check up on her, she should be free, and also better than me at this sort of thing." Tzuyu mouths and uses hand gestures to pose the question to Chaeyoung, and she nods.
"Sure. You have the address, right? The back door is open. I'm sorry, Momoring, it wasn't, it wasn't supposed to be like this-"
"I get it. We talked to her that night, too, but, okay, we'll talk there. Thanks for calling, Tzu."
"See you."
Tzuyu waits, fidgeting. Looking about the dance hall, the couches, the low tables which form the seating area. Would Momo judge her, too? The pale face with a small smile, the scrunched up face as she transcribes a passage to a score, and she cannot get Mina out of her mind, cannot stop thinking about her now that she has turned her back on her, and the tears are back again, softer this time, less of a heaving and rushing of waves and white water, but a twisting and tightening from within that will not let go.
Momo enters, and suddenly feels sad. A nightclub in the dingy white light is only forlorn, and smells faintly unwholesome. The dark and inviting space, filled with dim lights and moving bodies, suddenly empty, suddenly hollow. She treads gingerly, with the feeling she is not supposed to be here, that she is trespassing. She looks around, and her eyes light on Tzuyu, and a messy-looking midget comforting her. Faint sobbing. She enters stage left, and they look up at the sound of her boots.
"Hey."
"Momo." She has not seen or heard Tzuyu this distraught before, and it makes her heart clench.
"Who's the midget?" Both of them shoot her indignant looks.
"I'm Chaeyoung, and are you always this rude?"
"N-o, sorry, I-"
"Are all your friends like this? Can you just cut ties with them?"
"No! Sorry about that, Chaeng, that's just how she talks."
"Who is she anyway? Why are you on nickname terms already?" Momo was just being annoying now.
"What is this, a jealous scene? God, why do you make everything so difficult? "
Momo concedes and takes a seat opposite Tzuyu, and Tzuyu is the one who gets her a drink. Momo isn't staff, so she leaves the money for the canned coffee in the cashier. Chaeyoung is back at her bar stool, slightly miffed.
"You know, you could have told us." Momo crosses her arms, bristling a little.
"I-, well,"
"You didn't tell us about the sexy dancing, and you can't deny it. You were hiding it, weren't you, when Sana asked?" Momo's voice is sharp now, edged with displeasure. Momo doesn't like being kept in the dark, doesn't like being lied to, or obfuscated to.
"Yes, I, I didn't know how you guys would"
"And you guys shouldn't be judging!" Chaeyoung yells at them in exasperation.
"Where do you come into this? I don't give a damn if Tzuyu wants to be sexy for some rich men, but at least, at least you could have, I don't know, warned us, or we could have had a discussion. Something."
"I thought, I" and Momo hates that Tzuyu's pleading voice is working, the strained sound of her voice, the little hand gestures that get aborted halfway. An urge to protect her, to keep her from harm. And now she looks so lost, so defeated, that Momo wants to hold and comfort her. The look in her eyes, as if she will lose them forever.
"She shouldn't have to discuss it at all! What are you, her mom?" Chaeyoung cuts in in exasperation. "You didn't have a problem before, but now your bigot of a friend is acting up, you blame her? Are you kidding?"
"Chae, no,"
"No, she's right. What I think," Momo scrunches up her face, gathering her thoughts. "I think, if it was something, if there was something that made you hesitate about telling us the whole truth, all the more you should have, all the more you should have realized, we would find out eventually when we came over, right?" Well, now it was blindingly obvious when Momo said it out loud. "You know you can just, like, go back, right? Mina-"
"No, Momoring, I'm sorry, if her attitude in the morning was anything to go by, it will be worse than hell to be in the same house as her. I'm done with her eyeing me like I'm some kind of insect, and then pretending she's not doing it."
"That bad?"
"Yes, that bad. I, I don't know, I didn't think"
"Okay, well, I guess going back isn't exactly an option, then. I think, we should talk about the living arrangements and stuff. Did you bring your things?"
"No, they're still at Mina's." Momo sighs heavily.
"Room with me while you find a new place?"
"That's what Mina said, and look how that turned out."
"Well, Mina has a crush on you, that's different." Well, she didn't mean to say that. Shit, just roll with it.
"Come again?"
"She likes you, dumbass. How cliché can you get? You're telling me you didn't notice she looks at you differently from literally everyone else? Why do you think she conveniently never brought up that it was supposed to be a temporary arrangement?" That, well. That explains the times she caught Mina staring at her for apparently no reason. And also why Mina was always buying expensive ingredients to cook for her. And also why she made sure to memorize her favourite infusions, her favourite teas, her favourite dishes. And also, and also-
"She's not worth it, Tzu. You're going to lose sleep over some stupid overreacting bitch?" Momo opens her mouth in indignation, but Tzuyu beats her to it.
"Don't call her that!" Tzuyu fairly growls, or what would be a growl if it were pitched in Tzuyu's mellow voice. "She's my friend, alright?"
"She's your friend? Whatever the hell she's doing doesn't sound friendly in the least, I'll just say."
"Look, it's not that simple, okay? My feelings for her won't just disappear overnight for something like this! And now I find out she had a crush on me the whole time?"
"You have feelings for her?" Momo has missed that part.
"I just realized. Yesterday. In Atami. Long story. Or I think I do?"
"You think?"
"Like, I, I can't imagine not having her around, and, I don't know, she's comfortable to be around? And when I think of her doing stupid mundane shit I get, uh, happy? I don't know!" Tzuyu clutches at the armrests too tight, trying to place her feelings, pinpoint them and make them definite, wraps her arms around herself, huddling up, trying to understand, trying to make sense of it all.
"Yeah, okay, that's, uh, not a good sign." Silence, except for the whirring of the heater, the hum of the lights.
"Mina won't, uh, have a big problem getting through this month, right?"
"Probably. I mean, she doesn't have much of her idol money left, but, this month."
"Okay, we have a month or two to reconcile you two. And"
"And get her off her fucking high horse. She likes you, but the minute you act a bit raunchy she looks at you like scum? What's that about?" Momo glares at Chaeyoung, and continues.
"I was about to say, get you two together, since you guys-"
"This isn't a romantic comedy!" Chaeyoung slips down the chair and turns on Momo, furiously, looking up to glare at her with all of her short frame. "What, were you going to trust in time, the great healer? That doesn't, she won't just magically stop thinking you're a glorified sex worker. Even if you quit, even if you explain, her first impression is set, trust me." Ah, a sore point. Momo brings up her hands, and picks her words carefully.
"We, we should at least try to, to do something about it. From, from what I know, Mina still cares very much for Tzuyu, and vice versa. I really don't want to ruin this, alright?"
"Sorry," mutters Chaeyoung, and she might even mean it.
"Go and get your things soon, Tzu, and then you can stay at mine for a bit, now the heating's back on. Give me a call, I'll come for you after your work. And before you say anything, you won't be a burden, I promise. Sana's going to be over often, it'll be fun." Tzuyu smiles at Momo's hopefulness. Her heart is lighter now, just a little, and she doesn't keep circling back to Mina in her head.
Chaeyoung looks skeptical, but doesn't say anything when Tzuyu assents to Momo's proposal. Momo gives her a reassuring smile, and a thumbs up as she leaves. Chaeyoung rolls her eyes as the bob-haired figure exits.
"Sorry about that, I, uh,"
"It's alright, really. Thanks for, I don't know, thanks for sticking around. I guess we're friends?"
"Weren't we?"
"I don't know, I came here, well, because I didn't know where else to go. I mean, we were on nickname terms, but- say, does this thing work?" She goes over to the record player, runs an inquisitive finger over the wood finish.
"Sure." Chaeyoung goes to a shelf Tzuyu didn't know was a shelf, opening the door to reveal a modest array of discs, grouped vaguely by language and genre.
"I don't suppose those are Jihyo's?"
"No, she keeps her favourites in her office. These are gifts."
"Figures." Chaeyoung takes a disc from the Japanese section, and it turns out to be The Candies. She slides it out of the sleeve, fits in onto player. A click and whirr, and Sue's voice soars into the dingy club. Chaeyoung is at the comfy chairs now, taking Momo's vacant spot, watching as Tzuyu stares into the lights. Tzuyu is nodding off during the second song, and by the third song she is fast asleep, mouth ajar. Chaeyoung goes to wash up her glass of barley tea, goes to take her sketchbook. Tzuyu asleep, as a record plays in a background, perhaps with Chaeyoung herself at a bar stool, watching her slumbering figure. She is still working on something else, a scene she passed by just some weeks ago, a painting of boots and an old camera placed by a blind wall, where someone left an offering of food, for some reason. All the studies are done, and the composition pretty much in place, but she really wants to do one of Tzuyu, work on it for a bit first, while the raw material is still accessible. The disc plays out, and Chaeyoung puts on another, switching the angle of her sketch, with Tzuyu against the bar instead of the dance floor. Or facing the window, almost totally blocked by the chair, with only her lolling head and mussed hair visible against the light. The record plays out, and she puts on another.