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“I love when your hair curls” Padmè said with a lovesick smile as her and Anakin lay in bed together on a dark Thursday night.
“You do?” Anakin replied, shifting on his side so he could see her better. He watched contentedly as her chest rose and fell with every breath she took, as her eyelids went up and down slowly, revealing her exhaustion.
Padmè hummed a ‘yes’, eyes clearly scanning Anakin’s head and taking note of every curl.
“This one is cute,” She said with a small smile as she reached out to touch a curl that had landed on Anakin’s temple.
Anakin lowered his head by a millimetre, ducking away so slightly that it wouldn’t have been noticeable if they weren’t lying so close together.
Padmè’s hand stilled, remaining in the air for a moment before lowering back to her side. There was a silent question in her eyes, one that Anakin wasn’t sure how to answer.
She must know it wasn’t about the touch itself, after all, they slept with their limbs an intwined mess almost every night. Mostly gone were the days when Padmè might have to ask before giving Anakin a kiss on the cheek after a nightmare, even his panicked subconscious had grown to recognise that Padmè wasn’t a threat.
While they had done many things together, there had never really been a moment like this, when Padmè felt the desire to touch his hair. They had only been together a few months, after all.
“I…” Anakin said slowly, trying to work through how to phrase what he wanted so desperately to say.
Padmè took his hand and squeezed it encouragingly “It’s alright,” She said softly with a gentle smile. Padmè was always gentle. She wasn’t a danger, not to Anakin. “I won’t do that if you don’t want me to”
“I do want you to” Anakin blurted out before he could process the words. He hadn’t even known he had wanted it until he said it.
“Are you sure?” Padmè asked, a small frown on her delicate face. She wanted him to be sure. She didn’t want to hurt him.
Anakin felt an ache in his heart.
“No,” He said truthfully, guiding Padmè’s hand to the curl she had wanted to touch “But I trust you”
Padmè’s fingers closed lightly around the curl, twisting it around her index finger and letting it fall back onto Anakin’s forehead.
After a reassuring smile from Anakin, she reached up to touch the curls that settled at the base of his neck, gently combing her fingers through them.
Anakin closed his eyes, drawing his minds focus to the feeling of Padmè. He focused on the warmth of her body inches away from him and the small bit of cold pressing against his ankle that was her foot. He focused on the occasional plastic against his neck that was her nails, her slow breathing against his face, the occasional moment when she let her fingers brush against Anakin’s jaw
When his eyes fluttered open, Padmè was watching him, a look on her face that radiated both love and reassurance. I won’t hurt you.
Anakin reached up and took her hand away from his hair, holding it in his own and bringing it to his mouth so he could press a gentle kiss to the back of it.
“Thank you, my love” He said softly, not wanting to speak at a normal tone and break the moment they had created.
Padmè moved closer so her body was pressed against Anakin’s and rested her head in the crook of his neck, sighing contentedly.
Anakin wrapped his arms around Padmè’s small form, placing one arm around her waist and the other around her chest, letting a hand reach up and comb through her hair.
“You know I was a slave,” He said in a quiet, gentle tone as he pressed his face into Padmè’s hair. He knew that she knew, she had seen it, but it was his own way of letting her know that she was about to gain another piece of information about his past.
Padmè moved as close as she could to Anakin, wrapping both her arms around his middle as she nodded “Yeah?”
“Trying to control children is hard, even when those children are your slaves,” He said quietly, telling the tale as if it was a well rehearsed story that one would tell to younglings, not a recount of a trauma.
“I didn’t always pay attention, especially when I was younger. They tried to beat it into me, my mother tried to persuade me to be more alert, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t. Not for a while, anyway”
He took a deep breath in, inhaling the scent of Padmè’s shampoo as he did so. It calmed him, having an almost hypnotic effect and slowing his racing heart.
“So they’d grab me by the neck, or the shoulder, or the hair, and pull me wherever they had ordered me to be. The hair was their favourite, it hurt the most, and they learned quickly that if they beat me when I yelped then it would be the best way to cause pain without having to listen to my whining”
Anakin’s voice grew softer as he spoke about being beaten. It was never a comfortable topic to talk or even think about, but he focused on Padmè’s arms around his middle and the fact that two of her fingers were touching skin where his shirt had ridden up.
Anakin made his voice take up a lighter tone “Obi-Wan never touched my hair, he’s not very physically affectionate. He’s more of a…’I’ll show you my love by not reporting you to the council when you do something stupid’ kind of guy”
Padmè giggled at that, causing Anakin to feel the breath she let out on his neck.
She lifted her head from Anakin’s shoulder and kissed him, hand holding his jaw.
Anakin inhaled deeply and kissed her back, closing his eyes and leaning towards her. He felt a warmth rise from deep within him, filling his every nerve and bone and causing a joy to erupt within his heart.
“I love you” Padmè whispered as they parted, foreheads pressed against each other. “I’m sorry that happened to you”
Anakin kissed her again, letting it last for a second then pulling away. “I love you too, always”
Padmè’s hand reached up and touched the curls at the back of his neck again, gently stroking them. Anakin let her, keeping his eyes open and watching his love’s face soften and a small smile grace her lips.
“Thank you for trusting me,” She whispered, “Especially with this”
“I’d trust you with the world” Anakin whispered back truthfully “Anything I ever have or ever am, I’d place in your hands without hesitation”
Padmè blinked again slowly, biting her lip a little to subdue her lovestruck smile. Anakin didn’t, letting his smile grow wide and overflow his features. He took her cheek in his hands, stroking her cheekbone with his thumb.
“Tired?” He asked softly as Padmè blinked again, eyes remaining closed for a split second too long.
Anakin’s smile grew fonder when Padmè let her head fall forward onto his shoulder, humming in affirmation.
He kissed the top of her head, adjusting the blankets so they covered her completely and tucking her hair behind her ear.
“Then sleep, I’m here” A long buried part of Anakin told him to keep watch, to stay awake and alert and protect Padmè from a non-existent slaver that may come in and disrupt her slumber.
He rested his cheek atop of her head and closed his eyes, holding in a yawn and feeling the joy in his heart spread to his very soul, wrapping around him and eliminating any cold that threatened to linger.
Anakin held Padmè a small bit tighter, as if he could spread the warmth to her and protect her even when they were apart.
In his mind, the warmth enveloped the two like a protective bubble, preventing dangers that loomed above their heads from striking, and rough hands from reaching out and grabbing them.