Chapter Text
"Please tell me you've actually made contact instead of just stalking her like a fucking weirdo." "It's not stalking, 's recon." Johnny lifted the binoculars again, focusing in on the fiery red head coming in and out of a rough looking bar, and Johnny had been in some that were fucking rough. "Uh-huh. There's also this revolutionary idea of just talking to her."
"What the fuck do I even say?" Johnny tossed the binoculars to the side, angrily digging out a smoke. "Hey V, I know it's been two years since I died again but by some fucking cosmic joke, I woke up in my old body? No clue if you had moved on or died, which would really fucking suck, because I could finally tell you I was falling in love with you? Didn't want to tell you so you wouldn't do something stupid? I should say something like that?" Irritated, he ran his hand through his hair, kicking the seat back in his Porsche to try and stretch out. ".....Yeah actually, something like that. Sounds romantic, like one of those chick movies, like star crossed lovers finally meeting after all this time."
"Fuck you." Kerry sighed, his tone turning from "eat shit mode" to serious. "Look Johnny, if you're going to have any chance you're going to have to be honest and communicate for once in your fucking life. The only reason I agreed to help you is because you said you've changed, changed because of her. So stop being a fucking coward and make a move. IF she wants nothing to do with you, at least you know you can close this chapter of your life and move on." A bottle opened, followed by liquid pouring, whiskey no doubt.
"You didn't cut me off for once, maybe you have changed." Johnny lit another cigarette, noncommittally fiddling with the car radio. “Or you could just do this in the usual Johnny Silverhand style. Bottle everything up and run away, fuck it up, who knows. Anyway I gotta go, but for fucks' sake, go talk to her.” “Bye Ker, and...thanks.” Patching things up through V was the best thing that could have ever happened, not a lot of people would take in a dead man. Even less would give them a roof over their head or offer sound advice from time to time.
It wasn’t like he didn’t want to talk to V, he wanted to do that and so much more with her. It felt so unnatural to not be in her thoughts, sensing what she was feeling, hearing her commentary on his dumb ass life decisions and vice versa. Fuck, he just missed being so close to her. Turns out when you hang around someone 24/7, you sort of get used to it. Fuck if one's own brain didn't like playing games, never ending feeling of doubt and uncertainty clawed at him, urging him to go back to bad habits of drugs, sex, and alcohol. He did a few times, but the hangovers and Kerry’s knowing but resigned expression after each outing ate at him in a way he wasn’t used to.
Did he really want to drag her into his bullshit? She seemed happy with her new, if not boring, life. What the fuck could he offer her, even if she did want anything to do with him? His biggest fear before was not being able to see her change, see the world change, fuck see her and now he was hiding like some nervous preteen asking his crush to the dance. “Fuck it.” Mind made up, he cranked the car and pulled his shades on. If he was going to do this he needed nicer clothes than the ones he was wearing, and a shower. Liquor, lots of it, for courage. He’d come back at closing when no one else was around to see his heart to get stomped on.
"Fuck off, we're closed!" V didn't bother looking up from her bar top while she scrubbed. Mitch was hanging around somewhere for her to finish closing up, so hearing the door open for some lost drunk didn't phase her. Not that they ever saw that much trouble in this dingy little bar on the outside of the Aldecaldos camp in the middle of nowhere, but she appreciated when one of the clan would volunteer to play bouncer on busier nights, in exchange for free beer of course. "Always a cunt to customers?" Time froze, and so did her wiping of the counter. That deep gruff voice that had once plagued her for weeks, then months, and even the two years after Mikoshi couldn't be talking to her right now. Because if it was, then that sharp stab near her heart was going to break her into pieces. Drag her down to her worst moments, moments she couldn't let go of.
The man in front of her couldn't be Johnny Silverhand, that man had stayed behind in literal cyber space hell so she could move on, have a second chance. Other theory, wannabe look alike? There was still the occasional gonk striving to be the next Johnny Silverhand. This one had to be another one, even had the gall to get the same chrome as her old choom. The more she looked at him though, arms crossed with a smirk on his face, the sharp part near her heart snapped like an elastic band. Two years, two fucking years, and he has the nerve to show up like everything was okay? Of course he would be an egotistical ass about right now, V thought, throwing the dish rag down. Part of her wanted to desperately rush around that counter in a fit of tears, to finally wrap her arms around him; feel him in the flesh like she did in her dreams, over and over again.
How many nights did she dream of him walking through that door, how many nights did she wake up to nothing but bitter loneliness? How many times had she pulled some guy with dark hair and tattoos into her bed, trying her hardest to pretend it was him? The fleeting joy that sprang at her dream coming true was quickly wiped out by her feelings of hurt and anger at him leaving her alone this whole time. She could have been dead for fucks sake, luckily though, the Aldecaldos pulled a miracle cure out of their ass for her. Pure rage, angry and thick like black tar, filled her lungs. Violent heat blossomed behind her eyes as V sidestepped around the bar, hands clenching into fists.
One would think for someone that shared a brain 24/7, Johnny would know better than to assume his comeback would be met back with tears of joy, maybe a hug. There were tears alright, but out of anger as V slugged him right in the gut. Letting out a pained grunt, Johnny fell to his knees, hard. ”Anyone tell you how fucking hot you are when you’re mad?” "Fuck you, Johnny. Mitch, can you finish closing up for me? Something just came up, gotta delta." Mitch appeared from the back, unimpressed with the rocker given by the quick up and down glance then shrug. "Have a good night V, I'll take care of things." Refusing to look at Johnny, she stormed out while nursing her sore hand.
The late night was a cold night; a sob threatened to break out of her while she sped walked her way home.She wanted to turn around so badly, the feeling of actually touching his warm skin, of hearing his voice, seeing that shit eating grin, had her insides twisting. Sighing, she checked the time. 2:41 AM? Panam was probably asleep but right now V knew for damn sure she didn't want to be alone. Calling her up on the holo she crossed her fingers then wiped a hand across her face, tears already slipping out.
"V? You know what time it is?" Came the groggy nomad's voice. "Hey Panam, sorry to wake you. Something came up and I can't....can't really handle it alone right now." "V are you fucking crying? What happened, who's ass am I about to kick?" V heard sheets rustle as Panam suddenly kicked into best friend mode. "Nothing’s end of the world, just ... .Johnny came back. Tonight. After two fucking years." Her control on her emotions was rapidly slipping, more tears coming down. "Yeah, I'm definitely going to kick his ass. Where you at girl, I'll come get you and we'll go for a ride."
V rambled off her coordinates with the promise to stay put and wait, leaving her alone with her thoughts. It still felt surreal, like a dream all over again, but this time that sharp thing wouldn't leave her heart. She just needed time to think and a distraction, Panam would be great for both. She selfishly hoped Johnny wouldn’t give up only after one shot, but something deep down told her he wasn’t quite done with her.
“Didn't go like I planned." V might be a bartender in the middle of nowhere now, but damned if she didn’t keep that mean left hook. A beer appeared before his face, Mitch motioning to a seat. "Can ya blame her? It's been two years and she thought you were dead. By the way you probably don't have anywhere planned out for the night?" A shake of the head and Mitch sighed, handing him a key. "I never did this for you but there's a cot in the backroom, you can stay there tonight, just lock up before ya tank. You'll have to find your own place to stay after that though and leave the key under the matt." "How the fuck do you know it's been two years? And mighty nice for a guy you just met," Johnny quipped, taking a long pull of his beer and a suspicious glance over at the other.
Mitch shrugged, wandering over to pull the cash from the bar. "V's family, and family don't keep secrets." What he did leave out was the context being an overly drunk V pouring her heart out to Panam loud enough for the whole camp to hear.``Obviously you two have things to hash out, can't do that if you freeze to death. Word of advice though, I'd give that one some space. Not too keen on dealing with you right now." Johnny winced, downing his beer and accepting another. He really didn't know what he expected, but getting punched and then cold shouldered was not how he saw this planning out. Honestly he wished they could have just gotten into it like the old days, just rip the band aid off and start a screaming match. Kerry was going to have a fucking conniption fit when he told him how things went down.
"Well as fun as it is sitting around with some random stranger at 3 in the morning, I'm headed out. Feel free for another beer, don't touch the hard liquor less' you wanna pay out the ass, and lock things up." With that, Mitch shouldered the cash and headed out to leave Johnny on his lonesome. "Fuck. Really fucked things up." What else was new though? Sighing, he grabbed a few beers and locked the doors before wandering to the cot. It was way too late to call Kerry now, and he really should think of a plan for what to do now. It’s not like he was expecting her to just let him into her life, but he thought he could at least crash on her couch before getting the boot. His stash of eddies was dwindling too, besides cashing in a few favors and pawning a few things, he didn’t have a real source of income.
He didn’t even know why he was brought back or what he should do with his life besides finding V and just making sure she was doing alright. Rogue still reigned as queen of all things nightlife and Johnny was pretty fucking sure at this point she somehow found out the secret to being immortal. As usual she had intel no one else did, for a price. Two years was a hell of an amount of time, but he was so very fucking glad to know V hadn’t flat lined. Wandering around to make sure all the doors were good and locked, something near the front door fell from where it was tacked to the wall. Mechanic shop round the corner hiring now huh? Interesting. With flyer in hand he headed to bed, making a note to give the number a call in the morning. Could be a sign after all, and he wasn’t bad with cars.
Bright light and camp sounds woke V, with a groan she managed to pull herself out of her cot. A quick night ride turned into an all night conversation of whether or not she should give Johnny a chance, Panam taking the stance that if he cared he would have found her sooner. Thinking it over now, there could be an endless amount of reasons he didn’t show up sooner. How long had he been back, what if he had been held by Arasaka for some fucked up reason? The Aldecaldos didn’t make their tracks easy to follow either, this was the longest they had stayed in one place. They still went on raids and every few months would wander farther, but it seemed they really liked this area as a home base of sorts. V bet Panam had some factor into that decision, but Saul surprisingly didn’t mind as well, so here they were. Speaking of Panam, said brunette was coming her way with food and coffee, for which V could kiss her.
“Morning. Got us eats and some brew. You planning on hanging out here today?” She could stay and hide, doubtful even Johnny would be stupid enough to try and find the camp on his own, they didn’t treat unwelcome guests kindly. Sighing, V shook her head, finger combing her hair, “No dice. I gotta work tonight, and if he wants to show his ass he can, I’ll just kick him out.” She really hoped it didn’t come down to that, the furniture was already well worn and rickety, a small brawl would end what few chairs and tables she had. The owner took a liking to her way back as they were passing through, and V quickly took to the place, as ran shack as it was.
“Alright you do you then. Want a lift though? I do need some supplies from the shop, and run some other errands.” V smiled, sipping her coffee. “Errands huh? Nothing to do with that cute guy working the shop? Vik? Vincent?” “Pttb he fucking wishes. I am happily single, men are nothing but a pain in my ass.” “Uh-huh.” V had caught the mountain of muscle making eyes at her friend more than once, and said friend gave them right back. “Hey at least mine’s not as bad as yours. That man is a fucking burning dumpster fire.” “You’re fucking not wrong there. Also he is not my man, not by any jump.”
V ignored the twang in her chest, settling for scooping up dishes. “Ready to get this show on the road?” The ride was a good one, with the weather being nice for once and the radio station blared tunes loud for the girls to badly sing along. All too soon the edges of town appeared, and V’s gut tightend. Big words spoken earlier, but she really didn’t know what to expect with Johnny. She did feel slightly bad about the punch as well, usually she didn’t let her temper get out of hand, but he just pushed all her buttons in the worst ways sometimes. To her disappointment they didn’t catch any glimpse of the man, no cheap cigarettes and cologne smell to the air, no loud crunching of combat boots as the two made their rounds. Maybe he did just fuck off. Fuck I am so jacked up.
“Hey, the shop’s open early. Let’s see what they got going on, I need to tune up my bike.” “Uh-huh.” Ignoring V’s shit eating grin, Panam tugged her along, pulling to a stop at the sight of unknown boots from underneath one of the cars being worked on. V peeked around her and paled, she knew those boots, and those tattoos, but the universe couldn’t be this cruel could it? “Panam! V! Come say hey to my newest addition to the shop, Johnny. Old man Martin finally retired, figured I could use the help.”
Vik was one of the most trusting guys on the planet who absolutely would hire a random drifter on a whim. V’s stomach sank even further watching Johnny come out from underneath the car, nerves rebooted with anxious energy. First of all how dare grease make a man actually more attractive and second of all of course this would happen to me. Johnny cleaned a hand with a rag and offered it to V, daring her to start trouble. She could either make a scene now, or she could play along and then flee with some bullshit excuse. It’s a fucking handshake not like he can pull anything anyway, V thought while grabbing his hand.
She realized the trap way too late, his hand was too human, warm and strong, offering her a weird sense of familiarity from the smallest of touches possible. His thumb scraped one of her knuckles, leading to her second mistake: looking up into his face. Crooked smile coupled with intense dark eyes equaled nothing but trouble. Eyes that seemed to look through her and all of her walls, reminding her of the deep discussions they would have late at night. Nights when she couldn't sleep, nights of him glitching into her bed so she could hold on to something, anything, to stop the voices of self doubt and loathing in her head from driving her crazy.
V’s body shuddered with the amount of butterflies in her stomach, but she’d be damned if she caved right now. If he was serious about caring for her, he would have to prove it. His eyes crinkled at the corners, no doubt catching the rebellion sparking inside of her. He held her hand for a second too long, before letting go and shaking Panam's hand.“ ‘M hoping to stick around for a while. Vik here was kind enough to front me, already got a room at the hotel till I find something permanent.” Intense eyes didn’t leave V’s, Johnny’s smile once again crooked up on one side. V hated how endearing and charming she found it, like it was a smile just for her. She also hated how something deep twisted inside of her, and she definitely didn’t lean into his touch or notice him watching her lick her lips. “Okayyyy, well this was fun and awkward but this one needs to go to work. Nice meeting you whatever your name was, and Vik thank you for the parts!”
When safely out of earshot, Panam did not hesitate to start interrogating V, rapid fire questions spitting out a hundred miles a minute, followed by “Why didn’t you say it was him, I would have definitely kicked his ass”. “Right in front of Vik? Come on now that’d be like ten times more awkward than it already was.” Fishing the spare key she gave to Mitch from under the matt, she pointedly sidestepped more rapid fire questions about Johnny.
“Yeah, well one of these days you better start spilling the beans, and what the fuck, why is it so clean in here?” The floors were swept and mopped, trash taken out, dishes cleaned….all of her usual other prep work done as well. V frowned, she was pretty sure Mitch was never that grateful for the free beer to go out of his way to do this. But it’s not like someone would break in to clean the place spotless. Couldn’t be…. V shook her head, readying her station for the night. If it was him, things definitely took a turn for the interesting.