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On the first night, she smells of winter air and raspberries.
Nat’s nose picks up the fragrance before she can even give it a face. Her nostrils tingle when the door of the convenience store slides open.
A gust of wind rushes in and the first thing Nat notices is the jet black hair: long, perfectly styled, falling down in waves over her shoulders.
The girl looks no older than Nat herself, if she were to take a guess. Definitely not the average type of customer that normally drops by the store at this hour of the night. Nat's used to seeing tired students, too sleep deprived to care about appearances. She’s used to noisy drunkards and moody taxi drivers. She's had her fair share of odd customers since she started working here so this girl shouldn’t surprise her in the slightest. But there’s something about her. Nat can’t put her finger on it. Maybe it’s just that she doesn’t look like someone who belongs in a store like this in the middle of the night. She's dressed elegantly; expensive coat, expensive everything. Under the fluorescent lights of the store, she's practically glowing.
And she's staring. Nat frowns. The girl blinks like a deer in the headlights. The fuck is her problem? She’s saying nothing, she’s doing nothing, she’s just standing there awkwardly, staring at Nat for a long minute. Is she lost? Is she one of those people that stop by just to ask for directions?
Apparently not. Because the girl finally snaps out of her daze or whatever and starts walking in the direction of the refrigerators with sodas.
Nat brings her attention back to her crossword puzzle, tapping the pen over an empty square. Two more words. If only she could focus properly, instead of stealing glances. That girl moves between the aisles with the poise of someone who doesn’t really know what they're looking for and Nat would normally classify that as suspicious behavior in a customer, except...this girl strikes her as harmless. A little strange? For sure. But, overall, harmless.
She's tall though. Really fucking tall. That's another thing Nat can't help but notice when she tilts her chin up to meet the girl's eyes at the counter.
“Would that be all?” Nat asks flatly, the way she always does, voice tinged with exhaustion, as she passes the barcode on the small can of cat food.
She’s not one to make small talk with the customers. She likes to keep the interactions as brief as possible, while still remaining polite. She can’t bring herself to smile if she doesn’t feel like it either. And she doesn't usually pay much mind to what a customer puts on the counter. She prides herself in having mastered the art of not caring, but part of her is admittedly a little curious this time around. She can't help but wonder why this girl is buying nothing but cat food at this ungodly hour...
The girl doesn’t say a word. She has the audacity to smile at Nat though as she hands over a twenty dollar bill.
Nat can feel her staring while she struggles a little to open the cash register. Damn thing always getting stuck.
The girl’s eyes flit down to Nat’s name tag after Nat hands her the change. Then back up to Nat's face. She mumbles a barely audible, "Thank you."
And she’s out the door, into the cold night.
Nat watches her linger by the store's entrance. She crouches down next to a stray cat and pats it gently. Well, that explains it. The cat food at least.
Everything else about this girl is a mystery.
And so their strange little routine begins...
The girl shows up every other night, always after midnight.
Nat wonders what kind of schedule keeps her up so late, strolling into the shop at a time when most people are asleep. What's her deal? Insomnia?
Unlike the first time, the girl comes dressed more casually. Fuzzy sweaters under her black coat. Sweatpants, more often than not.
But she sticks to buying the exact same thing every time: cat food. For the stray outside.
Nat’s fed that cat a couple of times too, so it's no wonder she keeps showing up. It's a little weird, though, how clingy and friendly the cat is when the other girl is around. Nat's never seen a cat act like that. She's not an expert obviously but she's pretty sure that's unusual behavior for a feline.
Not that it matters, anyway. Nat's just thinking, wondering.
“Why don’t you just take her home with you?” She asks one night.
The girl seems surprised. Fair enough. The question came out of the blue. They haven't really talked up until now. About anything.
Nat doesn't even know how her voice sounds, not until she answers the question. “I’m not sure if I’m allowed.“
Nat raises an eyebrow. “She’s a stray. Nobody will care if you do.”
“Yeah, but...I mean, I'm not sure if pets are allowed in the dorm."
"You live in a dorm? I would've guessed you got like, a mansion or something."
“I don’t.”
Nat scoffs, finding that hard to believe. “Sure.”
She passes the barcode. Then pauses. It's basic intrigue; that's probably why she can't help but ask, “Do you have a name at least?"
The girl says nothing at first. She stares, as if caught off-guard.
Nat grows antsy. Self-conscious. She points at the name tag on her chest, trying to play it cool. "Just, you already know mine so...”
“Lottie.”
“Lottie...” Nat repeats out loud, trying see how it fits in her mouth, how it tastes on her tongue. It's sweet. Just like honey. "Lottie."
When she notices Lottie's smile, Nat realizes she is smiling, too.
“Do you work this shift alone?” Lottie asks one night, like she often does, like she’s trying to solve a puzzle and Nat has all the missing pieces.
Nat mumbles, “Yeah.” She doesn't look up from where she's counting the cash in the register. She’s aware Lottie is staring. She does that a lot.
Lottie also never says 'hi' or 'hello' or greetings at all, Nat's noticed.
Their conversations, if Nat can even call them that, always start abruptly, out of nowhere. "Is that your thing or something?"
Lottie has been absently tapping her long fingers on the counter. Nat’s question makes her pause and blink owlishly. "Um?"
Nat quirks a teasing brow. “I’m talking about how you never say ‘hi’ to me. Is that your thing? You never say ‘hi’ to people?”
"Oh. Uh." Lottie huffs an embarrassed laugh then she mutters, “Hi.”
Nat can’t help it. She laughs. The kind of laugh that starts in her belly and works its way up to her eyes. Impossible to stop.
Lottie is just kind of goofy that way sometimes. She’s not trying to be funny, it’s obvious, which only makes it even funnier.
"Weirdo." Nat shakes her head, smiling. What's with this girl really?
That's a question that's always at the back of her mind these days.
Hunched over the counter, Nat blows the stray hairs out of her eyes as she tries to finish a crossword puzzle.
She keeps an eye on the clock. Her and Lottie have a bet going on: who’s faster at solving crossword puzzles.
Lottie did it in nearly five minutes. Nat can do so much better. She is sure of it. She just needs to concentrate.
She's chewing insistently on her pen when Lottie leans over the counter and asks, “What are you listening to?”
Nat slides down her headphones and smirks. “Sleazy move, Lottie. Trying to distract me? Afraid I'll beat you?”
Lottie raises an eyebrow, smiling. “Just curious.”
Nat skips to the next song on her Walkman before taking her headphones off, placing them on Lottie's head.
Part of her wants to gauge Lottie’s reaction, to see if she recognizes the song, if she likes it or not. So she's slightly distracted. By the time she's done with her crossword puzzle, the clock on the wall shows it's been more than five minutes. Damn. Nat slumps back in her chair with a groan.
"I won.”
She hears Lottie say, clearly pleased with herself. Nat clicks her tongue, throwing her a glare. “You cheated.”
Lottie raises her eyebrows, innocently. “How?”
Nat rolls her eyes. She can't answer that. She just extends her arm for a handshake. "Whatever. Good game."
Lottie takes her hand. Her grip is gentle. Her smile is soft and a little smug. “Good game. You fucking loser.”
Nat huffs a laugh. Hard to stay a sore loser when her chest feels warm. “You’re talking shit? You little bitch.”
Nat’s munching on a bag of chips and watching Lottie feed their cat when Lottie asks, "You like girls, right?"
Nat nearly falls off the chair.
Lottie’s smile fades. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you—"
Nat clears her throat, trying to find a comfortable position to sit in. "Didn't say I was offended. Just...you know. Caught me by surprise." She shrugs, casually licking her fingers clean of chip grease. "You shouldn't go assuming things like that about people based on what exactly? Looks? Attitude?"
"So you don't like girls?"
Nat sighs, a little embarrassed. "I do like girls,” she admits, because there’s no point in denying it. Right? “But my point still stands. That's a strange thing to ask someone so randomly...know what I mean?”
Lottie nods, avoiding Nat’s eyes. She plays with one of her sleeves. "I wasn't sure how else to bring it up."
Nat balls the empty bag of chips in her hands aiming for the trash. "Why are you asking me that anyway?"
"There is a girl I like, and—"
"You like girls?!"
"You sound very surprised."
"No shit. I would've never guessed. You don't look like a—"
Lottie raises an eyebrow, suddenly amused. "What happened to not making assumptions about people?"
Nat rolls her eyes. "Fine. Point taken. So you like a girl. What's that got to do with me?"
Lottie hesitates, licks her lips. "Um. I was wondering if...maybe you could help me? I need some advice."
Nat blinks. "Huh? Like, dating advice?"
"More like...how can I get a girl to fall for me."
Nat crosses her arms over chest. "And what makes you think I can help you with that?"
Lottie scrunches her nose. "I just thought maybe you have more experience than I do."
Nat nods slowly. "Right. Okay. Tell me about it.”
Nat decides to humor her. Simply because she has nothing better to do at the moment. Also, she is maybe a little curious to hear more about this girl Lottie is talking about. What type of girl caught her eye? Does Lottie have a type...?
“Well. I’ve been dropping hints that I like her but I don’t know if I’m being too subtle or I’m just not very good at it.”
Nat scoffs. “Sounds like she’s an oblivious idiot.”
Lottie frowns. “Don’t say that. She’s actually very smart.”
“Christ, alright.” Nat rolls her eyes. “Sorry for insulting your beloved, I guess." She hits the button to open the cash register drawer with unnecessary force. Why did she even open this thing? She might as well start counting bills. "Have you tried giving her flowers or something? Girls like flowers."
"Do you like flowers?"
"Not a big fan. But that's just me. A lot of girls do. I don’t know. How about chocolate? Can’t go wrong with chocolate. Everybody likes chocolate.”
Lottie smiles. "I'll keep that in mind.”
"So.” Nat flicks ash from her cigarette, glancing down at Lottie, who's crouched down beside her outside, looking up at the night sky. “You gave her chocolate. She didn't like it or what?"
Lottie sighs, shaking her head, her breath curling in the crispy air. "She liked it. She even ate it. It just didn't really make a difference."
Nat shakes her head in disbelief. Is that girl completely oblivious or a fucking dumbass? What does Lottie even see in her? Seriously.
She takes a slow drag and exhales, looking up at the moon. “Hm...I don't know. Maybe you didn't make your intentions clear enough."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you gave me chocolate the other day, too. Remember? You gotta make it obvious you're not just being friendly, you know?”
"I just...I don't want to freak her out."
So forget about her. That’s what Nat wants to say. Just forget about her. She shakes her head free of those thoughts and sighs. "See, this is why I never get serious with a girl. Guys are easier. But with girls? An emotional minefield."
Lottie nods like she’s trying to understand something, maybe what Nat means, maybe something else entirely. Nat has zero clue.
It's snowing.
Nat plays with a bobby pin in her hand, mind absent, as she listens to music, watching the snowflakes swirl outside the windows.
The cat jumps on the counter and meows at her. Nat rolls her eyes tiredly, taking her headphones off.
"How should I know?" She grumbles, pretending the cat asked the same question that's been on her mind all week: where is she?
Of course the cat is probably just begging for a snack.
Nat stands up from behind the counter with a sigh. That's when she spots Lottie outside. She seems to mutter something under her breath then she makes eye contact with Nat through the window and she freezes. It's kind of goofy, the face she makes, looking around. She seems lost, unsure.
Nat rushes over to the door and knocks on the glass to get Lottie's attention. "The cat's here," she mouths, motioning for her to come inside.
“Where were you?” Nat blurts out as soon as Lottie steps inside, wincing a little at how she phrased that question. She didn't mean to ask that at all actually. Sometimes her mouth runs away with itself, and it’s too late to take it back now.
So she focuses on helping Lottie dust snow from her shoulders before it can soak through her coat. Well. More like she's doing all the work. Lottie just stands there. Staring at Nat, with a cute smile on her face. “Were you waiting for me?”
Nat feels blood rushing up to her cheeks.
Maybe it’s the proximity, standing so near to each other, with barely any space between them. Or the way Lottie looks at her so expectantly.
Nat clears her throat and squares her shoulders, trying to bury her awkwardness behind a fierce facade. "The cat was waiting for you,” she says. Not exactly a lie. Just not the whole truth. “She’s hungry, you know. Won't shut up about it."
Never mind that Nat already fed her. Twice.
Nat decides to find something to do before she makes a fool of herself so she walks over to where she left the stool earlier and busies herself with checking the expiration dates on a high shelf. She sees a shadow out of the corner of her eye and knows Lottie's behind her. “So. Where were you?”
“I’ve been thinking," Lottie tells her, "I've been trying to decide if I should kiss her or not.”
Nat almost loses her balance.
Lottie grips Nat's hips to steady her. "Do you need help with that?”
“No, I got it.” Nat swallows hard. “You want to kiss her?”
“I’ve wanted to kiss her since the moment I met her."
Nat curses herself for starting this stupid conversation.
“I think a kiss will make my intentions clear but at the same time it could ruin what we already have. So…I’m not sure. What do you think? Should I go for it?”
Don’t. That’s the first thought that strikes Nat’s mind. Don’t do it. Don’t kiss her. Because I want you to kiss me.
What the fuck is she thinking about? “Doesn’t matter what I think, Lottie. Just do it if you want to do it so badly.”
“Okay.”
“Fine.” Nat sighs and steps down from the stool.
The next thing she knows, Lottie is kissing her. Lottie is pressing her against the shelves and she's kissing her, and Nat's brain short circuits.
It takes her a full minute to recover. “Wait...I’m the oblivious idiot?!”
Lottie scrunches her nose. “I told you not to say that. You’re smart.”
Nat runs a hand through her hair. She wants to laugh. “Clearly not smart enough to know I’ve been insulting myself this whole time. Christ.”
Lottie chuckles. “Come on, it wasn't that bad. You only did it once.”
Nat scoffs. “Uh, yeah. Out loud? Only once. But in my head? Definitely more than once, I can tell you that much.”
Lottie shakes her head fondly, closing the short distance between them once more. She cups Nat's cheeks and smiles. "Can I kiss you again?”
Nat just shrugs, and grins. “Just do it if you want to do it so badly.“
They both do.