Chapter Text
Rody Lamoree creates a group chat
Rody Lamoree added 12 people
Rody Lamoree named the group chat 'Gay traumatized people'
Gay traumatized people
Protag
12? aren't there only supposed to be 8?
Fake. Protag
I will find you.
Protag
wtf
Guardian angel
HEYY
Angelica
HOW DOES AN GUARDIAN ANGEL HAVE A FUCKING PHONE????
Guardian angel
Watch your fucking mouth, not holy language
Angelica
.
Then why are you using that language?
Protag
RODY PLEASE REMOVE @Fake. Protag AND @Fake. Coworker IM BEGGING YOU
Rody
Uh....
Lemme think about this...
no.
Augustine
Damn.
Winnie
Auggie!
Augustine
I told you to stop calling me that!
Coworker
Manon
IM CRYING
Protag
I don't wanna get up but I have to get my son food
Rody
YOU HAVE A SON???
WHEN??
WHAT WOMEN WOULD GET WITH YOU???
Protag
First of all, fuck you
Second of all, this is why Manon left you
Third of all,
My beautiful son
Rody
.
Fuck you for the Manon thing
This is why your a fat bitch
ALSO
YOU ALSO HAVE A RAT SON???
HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT OF BED LETS GO SHOPPING FOR OUR SONS!
Protag
kys.
ALSO
YOU HAVE A RAT SON TOO???
BITCH YOU NEVER TOLD ME
LETS GO MEET YOU AT 8:30 OUTSIDE YOUR APARTMENT
Coworker
Is this what happens when you go insane?
You just adopt a rat son?
Vincent
Right
Also Rody be at work by 10
Rody
Damn
Work
Protag
Loser
I have the day off
Winnie
@Augustine LETS ADOPT A RAT SON!!
Augustine
Your over 100 miles away from me
How the hell are we going to take care of it together?
Winnie
Damn :(
I'll just drop out of college and go back!
Augustine
DON'T
YOUR EDUCATION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN A PET RAT
Protag
Wrong.
Rody
Wrong.
Guardian angel
How the hell did you guys do that at the same time???
Angelica
I don't think a guardian angel should use that sorta language...
Guardian angel
Who cares
Fake. Coworker
Never in my life I thought I would see a guardian angel going against heavenly principle...
Fake. Protag
You are heavenly principle.
Fake. Coworker
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???
Normal guy
He sounds so panic right now just through that text lmao
Protag
right
wait
WTF
Normal guy
Has no one noticed the fucking chat name?
Winnie
Just noticed it
Thanks normal guy :)
Rody
Yes truly thank you cause this brings me to a question I have for all of you guys
How many times have each of you died?
Me personally 2 times
Vincent
Once because of you
Augustine
Weird question but once
Winnie
Twice
Rody
How the hell did Winnie die more than you @Augustine aren't you the main character??
Augustine
Yeah but I pushed him down the stairs and he died because of that so...
Rody
oh...
Manon
Once
Normal guy
I haven't died, Fuck all of you!
Fake. Protag
You aren't special
Fake. Coworker
Right
Guardian angel
Right
Angelica
Once
Coworker
Like 3 times
Protag
.
Rody
What?
Don't tell me...
YOU HAVEN'T DIED???
Protag
No I've died
Just
YOU GUYS HAVE SUCH LITTLE NUMBER
WHY DID I SUFFER SO MUCH
Winnie
Our numbers aren't that small
People usually have one death
Two is a big number in this case
Protag
SMALL ASS NUMBER TO ME THE FUCK
I DIED OVER LIKE TEN TIMES
HOLD ON
I died by
- hole
- darkness
- being eaten
- parents
- radiation
- being rejected by a job application
- butchered
- falling
- being 'hired' (fuck you normal guy)
- being set on fired
- having my head blown off
THATS IT
ELEVEN DEATH
AND YALL HAD 1-3?????
Normal guy
Whoops
Know you still respect me tho
Manon
WHY DID YOU PUT THAT AS A REACTION IMAGE OUT OF EVERYTHING
IM CRYING
Also I feel bad for you @Protag hope your doing better now!
Winnie
Yeah wow
I hope you're recovering well!
Protag
Thank you
also Rody i'm outside
Rody
WHAT
oh wait our sons I'm going
Vincent
Remember work at 10
Rody
Fuck
forgot about work
ill be there
at 10