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He would never get used to the layout of her room, no matter how many times he came to visit her there. Those vivid primary colors, that childish, almost clown-like décor. That was why, whenever they wound up sharing space for longer periods, somehow Jax would convince Pomni to stay with him instead.
Yes, for all her protesting over the fact that he was absolutely horrible at keeping his living area tidy, he would still find a way to coax her to give in. Eventually, they'd be curled up together on his bed, under or atop the blankets, tangled up limbs and random conversations gradually giving way to warm embraces, steady heartbeats, and soft breathing.
This night was meant to be more of the same.
It was late, though the hour was unknown. Yet again, the duo were settled in snugly, among the mess and destruction of his bedroom. Pomni was lying on her side, head nestled in his chest, hands pressed against him. Meanwhile, both of his arms were wrapped around her, tight but not oppressively so. He had his own head resting atop hers, prominent ears drooping just so. He had stirred, for whatever reason, but seeing as there was obviously nothing going on in the shadows of the bedroom, Jax was ready to drift back into slumber.
That was when, he heard that soft call. Under delicate breaths, a faint, sweet tone. Asking for him by name. “Jax...?” Now, he was a bit more alert, looking down groggily at the girl in his hold.
“Uh? Whuzzat? What's up, Pom-Pom?” As his vision adjusted, that was when the rabbitoid realized...her eyes were still closed, even as she was addressing him. Pomni was talking in her sleep. Now, this was interesting. Perking up just a little more, after a bit of adjusting, Jax was leaning on one arm, looking down at the sleeping female in his grasp. A slight, tired grin was on his lips, as he drew in closer. “What'cha need?”
It wasn't like he was messing with her too badly. Just a few words exchanged in the middle of the night, even as one participant was out cold. He wasn't fishing for anything to use against her. She gave him plenty ammunition during the waking hours as it was – how many things to tease her with! And the reactions never got old.
At this, he saw her lips pull up in a faint smile of relief. “Oh...thank goodness.” Huh? Well, that was unexpected. What, did she think he'd left her or something? Drawing in closer, Jax waited to hear more. “You're...still here.”
A soft chuckle. He was so tempted to ruffle her hair. “Yeah, I am. What, you really think I'm going anywhere, at this hour? Nah. Besides...” Now, he was by her ear, breath warm against her face as he whispered. “I kinda like the company too much to leave.”
If anybody had heard him talking like this, let alone had seen the position he and Pomni had wound up in, they'd possibly have had a good laugh at their expense. Which would have resulted in a good few deckings, because like h*ll Jax was about to let such a thing slide. What business was it of theirs what he and the jester got up to in their spare time? At least they were enjoying themselves. In a place like this, once the day's activities were over and done...true happiness and satisfaction were hard to come by. In these moments together, one-on-one...they were at peace.
Pomni was nodding slightly, resembling more of a twitch in her unconscious state. She was pressing up closer against him, hands curling against his chest as she let out a soft sigh. “That's good...” Jax was about to consider the conversation over and done with, when suddenly she went on. “I don't...ever want to lose you...”
At this, he stiffened. Why...was she thinking of such things? Almost instinctively, his arm tightened around her. He could just barely feel her heartbeat, trading its rhythm in exchange with his own, slightly perked. “Sometimes...it can be scary here.” Scary? What, did she have a nightmare right before this, or... “Anything...can happen here. Anybody...can get hurt, and lost. And I...don't ever want to lose you like that...”
Jax could feel an invisible weight settling into his shoulders now. Ah...that's what this was about. A particular sort of loss, present in their world, specifically. A fate that was either the equivalent of death, or worse than it. Abstraction. The very thing she'd been witness to, on her first day in the Digital Circus. Perhaps...she really had just somewhat come to from a bad dream?
A soft whimper greeted his hearing, as Pomni shifted in his hold. Her forehead was scrunched up just so, as if she were concentrating on something. “I saw...monsters. They were...chasing us. But I...I couldn't find you...and I didn't know...what happened. If you were...one of them...there were so many.”
Yes. There were quite a few faces that had gone before. Pomni had witnessed those sealed-off doors, how many times, whenever she had to make her way down the expanse of hall, either to or from her room. And, of course, the lingering memory of Kaufmo. But, did she really think...that he would ever allow the same thing to happen to him? To either of them?
Now, the rabbit was leaning down, to press a soft kiss to the top of her head. His eyes had narrowed, expression one of protective resolution. “Don't worry, Pomni. They're gone now. And I ain't going anywhere. Ever.” Saying her full name, just so she'd know, whatever her current state, that he was serious. He meant every word of this, no matter how seemingly sappy it may have been. For all his indifference, his cutting up and attitude, his tricks and gags...he was steadfast in one thing:
As long as they were together in this realm, they were one. He would do everything he could, to keep her happy and safe. They'd found each other, by some miracle, and he wasn't about to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him. Those abstracted b*stards would have to tear him apart, swallow him whole, just to get him to let go. And even then, he'd fight, with every last bit of strength he had, before allowing them to get anywhere near Pomni.
He could still recall, the day of her arrival. How he'd booked it as soon as he'd caught sight of Kaufmo's corrupted form. As it was now, Jax sometimes wished he could go back in time, and throttle himself. Beat the sh*t out of that smug face, for being such a godd*mn coward, nearly losing her in the process. Had he known what was waiting for him in the future, he'd have hauled a** with Pomni in tow, no questions asked. He'd have gotten them both out of there, before that monster had a chance to follow.
A furrow of his own brow then. Of course...it could quickly shift the other way, too. What with Pomni's desire for an escape, an exit; how intense she could get sometimes, so certain that there was a way out. Determined to rescue all of them from this world, no matter what it took.
There wasn't. The only way out, was down. And that was no sort of way to go. But it would be all too easy to lose her, just as much as anyone else. Aside from Caine, any of them could fall prey to the virus of insanity, should they let themselves go. The thought of ever walking into her room, and finding nothing but a gargantuan beast of fractured, corrupted coding, unable to be reasoned with or restored...
...now, Jax was suddenly seeing his own nightmare realized, in his mind's eye. And that...was a thought he refused to entertain.
With lips by her ear once more, he spoke yet again, in a low, affirmative tone. “I'll never let you go. I promise. They can't hurt you. So...don't go hurting me either, okay?” A chuckle, though this time, it was shakier and a bit strained. “Don't you go anywhere, too. Stay. With me. Here, there, wherever. Just...don't let go. Okay?”
He'd never have thought himself capable of such words in the past. But, here he was now, offering these reassurances to another as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Well, he supposed, in regards to being with someone like her...it was.
And he wouldn't ever change this fact.
Her expression had relaxed, as he felt her snuggle against him. He, in turn, was easing back down, pulling up the blanket and sheets as well, to throw over them. It was time to end this little chat. There was no need to worry. Things would never get that bad. He knew the girl was a fighter, and he too, had one eye open, for any sort of trouble on the horizon. Neither of them was losing the other.
“Hey...Jax?” A brief twitch, as he glanced down one last time at the brunette. He said nothing, unsure what could be coming next from here. She wasn't about to start a whole new dark topic of discussion, was she? Rest was beckoning, to both of them. But he couldn't sleep alone.
Then, those three little words, setting his tricky heart aflutter. “I love you...” Smiling in the shadows, he held her closer, offering one last kiss before closing his eyes.
“Love you too, Pomni.” Yeah. They were going to be okay.