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I've Got a Feeling Inside That I Can't Domesticate

Summary:

Camila wants to know exactly how Luz transitioned while in The Demon Realm. Luz Explains.

Follow up to "Will She Still Love Me?"

Notes:

Hey chat. Decided I wanted to write some more Trans Luz stuff so here we are. Hope you enjoy.

Special thanks to Terra , Buff , and Tuxedo for help with some ideas and Feather and Turtle for the beta reads

Title is from the Song Bishops Knife Trick by Fall Out Boy

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Camila had questions. Not about the witches now living with her (Okay she had questions about that but they had mostly been answered by now) but about her daughter. Needless to say, when your child is sent away to camp as one gender but comes home from some fantasy as a different gender, you’re going to have questions. 

 

Which had led Camila to this moment in the kitchen, sitting across from her was Luz, along with her girlfriend, Amity, that Luz wanted just in case she needed the extra support. Camila of course obliged the request if for no other reason than it warmed her heart to see her daughter in a loving relationship.

 

“So, Mija,” Camila began, all three members at the table avoiding eye contact, “as we have talked about I am fully supportive of your decision to transition, I think it is great you’re now happy with your gender. However, I do have some questions I’d like to ask you.”

 

“Like what?” Luz moved her gaze from where it was on the table over to her mother.

 

“Do I need to start you on estrogen?” Camila asked.

 

“No, this is kind of permanent,” Luz answered casually, “I mean there is a potion that could reverse it but I’m not interested in taking it.”

 

“So this is a result of a potion?” Camila should have figured that was somehow the answer to her question of ‘How did you transition in the other world’.

 

“Yeah, Eda made it for me.”

 

Eda. The person who was apparently taking care of her daughter was also apparently qualified to make gender changing juice.

 

“Okay,” Camila replied. She could question the whole process more but she’d probably just be left with more questions than answers, “Now my next question: When did you realize you were trans? Was it before or after you went to the other world?”

 

“After,” Luz replied, “It’s kind of a funny story in all honesty.”

 

“I would like to hear it if you’re okay with sharing,” Camila said in a reassuring tone before reaching her arm across the table to grab ahold of Luz’s hand (The one not currently being held by Amity).

 

“Well alright,” Luz began, “So it all started when I swapped bodies with Eda-”

 

“You what!?” Both Amity and Camila exclaimed in unionsin.

 

“You didn’t know?” Camila said, now speaking to Amity.

 

“She never told me the story,” Amity replied as she moved from Luz’s side to sit next to Camila, somehow having the exact same expression as the older woman.

 

“Anyway,” Luz said, very annoyed, “As I was saying, it all started when I swapped bodies with Eda…”


The girl knocked on Eda's door a few times. It was rather late but she just needed to talk with The Owl Lady at that moment.

 

“Come in,” Eda called out from the room. The girl opened the door and looked inside to see Eda sitting in her nest, reading some book, “What did you need Kiddo?”

 

“I needed to talk with you about something,” the girl said, nervously twiddling her fingers around.

 

“You sound rather serious, is everything okay?” Eda asked, looking up from her book rather concerned.

 

“I don't think it is,” the girl admitted.

 

“Sit,” Eda commanded as she patted a space in front of her in her nest. The girl followed The Owl Lady's orders and sat down in front of her, avoiding eye contact. Now was definitely not a time she had the energy to do that, “What's the problem.”

 

“So when we swapped bodies earlier today-”

 

“We're not doing that again,” Eda stated flatly.

 

“I'm not asking that,” the girl clarified, “But I brought it up because when I was you it felt…really good.”

 

“Well I'm sure it did,” Eda began to boast, “Being the most powerful witch on the boiling isle must have been incredible.”

 

“No, not like that,” the girl corrected, “As great as being able to naturally do magic was, I wasn't really about being in your body specifically

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean,” the girl searched her thoughts for the right words, “I liked being in a woman's body. I liked the feeling I had knowing others saw me as a girl. And when I was put back in my body I just felt disappointed in it." The girl looked back at her mentor who was now listening very intently to what her apprentice was saying.

 

“Then I got to thinking,” tne girl continued, “about everything. About how I've always hated my reflection. How I've always related to girl characters in media more than boy characters. How I've always wanted to wear my hair slightly longer than other boys. And how I've never really liked my name. And I think I have an answer to all those questions. I think-” the girl paused for a moment, unsure if she was ready to say what she wanted to say.

 

“It's okay,” Eda said in an unusually soft tone, “You can tell me.”

 

And that was all the reassurance the girl needed. The girl took a deep breath.

 

“I think I'm trans.”

 

The girl closed her eyes as she waited for a response. The next thing she knew, Eda had wrapped her arms around her and brought her in for a hug, perhaps the first one she initiated herself, “I'm really proud of you kiddo.”

 

Tears were beginning to run down the girl’s face, “Eda, I'm scared.”

 

“I know,” Eda replied as she rubbed up and down the girl's back, “I'm aware how bad it can get back in the human realm, but I want you to know that here not a single person will ever think of you as lesser because you're trans.”

 

The girl sniffled, “Really?”

 

“Really,” Eda confirmed, “Being trans here isn't that big of a deal. But I get that it's A big deal for you and I want you to know your feelings are valid.”

 

The girl just continued to sob into her mentors chest, “What if my mami-”

 

“Don't think like that,” Eda quickly shot down the question, “I don't know anything about her but if she's even remotely a good parent she'll still love you.”

 

“You're probably right,” Luz sniffled as her sobs began to quiet down, “I'm still scared.”

 

“I know,” Eda replied, “But it'll all work out I guarantee you.”

 

“I know,” the girl murmured. The two just stayed there, Eda holding the girl tightly in her arms as she sniffled. Eventually the girl went quiet. Eda looked down to see the girl had fallen asleep in her arms. Eda let out a sigh as she gently placed the girl down in her nest before she stood up and got to work. 


The girl let out a yawn as she opened her eyes. Scanning around, she realized she was still in Eda's nest after the previous nights, though Eda was absent from the room. The girl stretched her arms before standing up from the nest and making the journey down the stairs of The Owl House. 

 

“Good morning kiddo,” Eda called out from the kitchen when the girl arrived at the bottom of the stairs. 

 

“Good morning huh,” King began, currently in a high chair with whatever Eda had made for breakfast in front of him, “Friend.” Looks like Eda had caught King up on the details.

 

“Good morning,” the girl yawned, “That nest is surprisingly comfy.”

 

“I know,” Eda smiled, “Now before you sit down I have two things for you,” Eda reached into her huge head of hair with both her hands. She pulled two things out at the same time. One was a necklace with a blue stone at the end and the other was a potion filled with a bright blue substance in it. She placed both things on the counter.

 

“What is this?” The girl questioned.

 

“FIrst,” Eda pointed towards the necklace, “This here is a concealment stone. Took some testing on King but putting this on should change your outward appearance so will be feminine presenting.”

 

“You forced King to test the gender changing stone?” 

 

“I volunteered!” King replied with a thumbs up and a wink, garnering a grateful smile out of the girl.

 

“And this,” Eda pointed towards the potion, “This is the good stuff. Drink this whole thing and it’ll permanently alter your body to be the other sex. Us potion makers like to call it "regendering juice.”

 

“So if I take that potion I’ll become a girl?”

 

“You are a girl, potion or not” Eda pointed out, “But I get what you mean and yes, you would.”

 

“Is there any way to reverse it?” the girl stared intensely at the bottle.

 

“I mean yeah, just take the opposite potion and BAM! Reversed,” The Owl Lady clarified, “I get this is a big decision for you and if you want to wait on the potion you can, it's why I made you the necklace.”

 

“I think I’d like to wait on the potion,”  the girl admitted, “I am not really sure if it’s best to take it and show back up to the human realm.”

 

“Hey, your choice,” Eda said as she grabbed the bottle and put it back in her hair, “The potion isn’t going anyway so if you ever change your mind it’ll be here.”

 

“Thank you,” the girl pointed towards the other object, “Now about the necklace-”

 

“Say no more!” Eda picked up the necklace and tossed it over to the girl who caught it, “Just hang it around your neck and it’ll work.”

 

“Alright,” the girl said as she slowly collapsed the necklace over her neck. In an instant a puff of smoke appeared around the girl before quickly dissipating, “Did it work?”

 

“You tell me,” Eda said with a knowing smile as she drew a spell circle, causing a mirror to form in front of the girl. As the girl looked back at her reflection, she saw someone. Someone she knew very well. It was her. The girl that she’d always felt like. The boiling isle allowed her to be without judgment.

 

“I’m a girl,” the girl mumbled as she began to shake in joy, “I’m a girl,” she said louder as the energy begane to build and build within her, “I’M A GIRL!” She shouted, giving in to the energy as she dash around The Owl House in excitement. 

 

Before long the girl had run up to King and picked him up a big hug. “Weh,” was his only response to the display of affection.

 

Afterwards, the girl had practically tackled Eda as she wrapped her arms around the witch, “Thank you thank you thank you!” happy tears were forming in the girl's eyes.

 

“You’re welcome kiddo,” The Owl Lady chuckled as she ruffled the girl's hair, “Now do you have a new name in mind?”

 

The girl pulled back for a moment as she searched her thoughts when she got an idea, “There was this thing my papa used to call me that I always liked.”

 

“What did he call you?” Eda inquired.

 

“Mi Luz.”


Luz knocked on Eda’s door before the voice of her mentor called from the other side, “Come in.”

 

Luz stepped in to find Eda once again reading some book, “Eda I think I’d like the regendering potion now.”

 

Eda stared back stunned at her apprentice's words before shrugging and pulling the bottle out of her hair and handing it to Luz, “Here you go, but what made you change your mind? Did you talk to your mother about it when you went through the door?

 

“Uh yeah,” Luz lied. In reality Luz was freaking out about the promise she had made to her mama and figured if she didn’t take the potion now she might never get the chance to, and figured that any sort of grief it caused wasn’t worth the risk of never getting to take it, “She said it was fine if I took it.”

 

Eda eyed the shorter girl, clearly not believing her before sighing, “Whatever you say kiddo, it’s all your choice.”

 

“Thank you,” Luz replied as she uncorked the bottle, plugged her nose, and swallowed the potion in one swig.


“And that's about it until we arrived here,” Luz said, “Oh and for the record, I didn't wear my concealment stone when I went to that weird dimension. I just wanted to make sure you recognized me. I hope you're not mad I took the potion without talking with you about it.”

 

“Oh mija,” Camila said as she walked over to her daughter and wrapped her arms around her, “I’m not mad. I’m just glad you’re happy with your gender.”

 

“I’m really proud of you,” Amity retook the chair to Luz’s side as she wrapped her hand in her girlfriend’s.

 

“Thank you both,” Luz smiled as she whipped away a tear.

 

 Camila sat back down across from the two lovebirds, “Needless to say I’m proud of you too, and if you ever need to talk about anything relating to this I will be ready to listen.”

 

“Gracias y te amo, mama,” Luz smiled beamed over to her mother.



“Yo también te amo,” Camila smiled back, “And when you figure out how to get back to this other world I'm going to have to thank Eda for taking such good care of you.”

 

“You’ll love her.”

 

“I'm sure I will,” Camila chuckled. Internally, Camila mulled over why Luz felt more comfortable coming out to this Eda lady and not her own mother but decided that talk was best saved for later. For now, Camila just wanted to be happy for her daughter. A silence overtook the three before Camila decided to get something off her chest, “I’m bisexual.”

 

“I’m a trans girl, too,” Amity blurted out at the same time as Camila.

 

Luz recoiled at the two very sudden revelations, “Okay, one at a time please.” 




Notes:

Hey chat, hope I did a good job, have a great day

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