Archive of Our Own

It was the last day of spring break, and that meant one thing in the Nightingale household: movie night. The entire family was sat around the television watching an animated fairy tale they’d all seen a thousand times before, but still hadn’t grown tired of. Margaret had a bowl of popcorn on her lap, as did her daughter. Lucy would occasionally hand some to the Sylveon sitting next to her while batting his ribbons away from the bowl, knowing full well he would finish it by himself otherwise.

Jason was the odd one out of the three Humans, letting Hazel, his partner Umbreon, lay on his lap and keeping the bowl at his side. While one hand would stroke her head and back, the other would alternate between tossing pieces of popcorn in his mouth and holding them out for her.

Every time she took a piece, her lips would brush against his fingers. Although he felt like he should be at least slightly grossed out by this, he wasn’t. Instead, the feel of her velvety soft lips against his skin left them tingling in a way he didn’t understand every time she withdrew with her treat. The tingles began to spread, creeping up to his chest. His breath started to catch in his throat as he began to anticipate the next time it would happen.

At first, it was clearly accidental, but Hazel seemed to notice his reaction as her lips lingered longer against his fingers, causing the feelings to grow in intensity. It finally culminated with her retrieving a piece of popcorn and, instead of pulling back an inch, darting her tongue out and licking his hand. Jason yanked it back with a soft but surprised “eep”, earning a giggle from the Pokemon on his lap.

He could feel his heart skip a beat; he tried to dismiss it as simple adrenaline from the mild shock, but some deeply buried part of him questioned this. His heart was still racing long after what would be expected from a more significant startle, and the blush creeping across his face was completely out of place.

Embarrassment, that’s what it had to be. He was just embarrassed by his reaction. The fact it didn’t explain why he felt the intense, irresistible urge to cradle his hand afterwards, why the spot where her tongue touched his skin burned in such a pleasant way, wasn’t something he wanted to think about. Instead, he tried to focus all of his attention on the movie in front of him, a task made difficult by how often he’d seen it.

Hazel sat patiently waiting for her partner’s hands to go back to where they were before she licked him, but they never did. At first, she was a bit annoyed at having her free pampering and snacks taken away, but as she stealthily glanced behind her, she grew slightly concerned at how he was blushing and holding the hand she had licked. Worried her teasing had gone too far or revealed too much , she rubbed her snout against his hand, catching his attention with another jolt. As he locked eyes with her, she gave him a sheepish smile and lightly whined.

Although becoming fully fluent in Pokemon languages is a practical impossibility for nearly all Humans, Jason found it relatively easy to pick up on some common meanings. In this case, Jason knew she had just said “sorry” and couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“It’s ok,” he whispered as he stroked her head. “You just startled me, that's all.”

She knew there was more to it than that. She lightly yipped and carefully touched her front paw to his cheek to make the object of her question clear.

His blush only deepened at that. “I’m embarrassed at jumping so hard.” The awkwardness of having to admit that was enough to remove any lingering doubts about what he was feeling before. Not that he had any, of course. Hazel quietly laughed at his expense before turning back to the TV, content with his answer, and Jason reset himself to what he was doing before. Fortunately, it seemed like the Umbreon had decided to give him a break from any more teasing, simply taking the popcorn without lingering any longer than necessary; this, combined with the real embarrassment running through him, was enough to prevent the strange feelings from creeping up on him again.

Or, it was, until a scene came on that he had completely forgotten about, and once he recognized it, he felt his heart stop. The dashing rogue had cut his finger in an earlier action scene, and the beautiful but naive princess he was escorting used her healing magic to literally kiss it better. As her lips left his hand, the bloody gash vanished in a poof of magic particles that traveled up his arm and ended at his heart, exploding in a burst like a firework, signifying the hero falling for the girl in front of him. As if to rub salt in the wound quickly forming in Jason’s psyche, the character gazed at his finger in amazement before cradling his hand in the exact same way he just did.

Jason never liked the phrase “it hit me like a freight train,” but that was the best way he could express how he felt in the moment, as the truth he had hidden from himself for so long slammed into him, unrelenting and unstoppable:

I am in love with her. I am in love with Hazel, my best friend. And, with a mix of nearly every negative emotion he could think of, from guilt to shame to fear, I am in love with a Pokemon. His surroundings grew dim as he could only focus on the thoughts rushing through his head.

How? He didn’t know; how did anyone know how these things work? Why? That was easy; she was beautiful, smart, funny, kind, and above all else, his best friend, one of the people he cared about most in this world, equalled only by his biological family. How long? He couldn't help but look through his memories, and didn't know how to feel at the answer that was provided: the first time he felt these Beautiflies in his chest was the night she first evolved.

Three years prior, they all went out to a carnival to welcome Azure, Lucy’s new partner, into the family. Most of it blended into the background of other trips to that same carnival made in the years since, but two moments in particular stood out. First, he’d won a Substitution doll in a game of hoops and immediately gifted it to his partner. The look of joy on her face upon receiving it lit up his entire world, but nothing about that was any different from what he had felt around her before. No; it was what happened afterwards that changed the form his love took.

Still riding high from the previous victory, the family decided to ride the ferris wheel as the last activity of the night. Hazel and Azure were running around the cart in excitement despite the aches Hazel had been feeling in the past few weeks, jumping on the edges and soaking in all of the sights and sounds of the carnival on one side and the city at night on the other, made even more incredible from the vantage point. Just as the cart reached the top of the wheel, it lurched to a stop to let more people on. A silence fell over the family at the view, which was made even more spectacular as an opening in the overcast sky allowed a moonbeam to hit the cart dead on.

They all looked up at the moon before their vision was drawn down to a much brighter light coming from right there on the ride. As her head was tilted up towards the sky and her front feet rested on the edge, it looked like the moonbeam was starting to gather around Hazel, wisps of white energy whirling around her. They slowly picked up in speed and drew closer until they had completely enveloped her tiny body. As Jason stared, mesmerized by the sight in front of him, her silhouette began to change, growing in size, lengthening out, and slimming down, before the light exploded off of her, momentarily blinding her seatmates. As he blinked the spots out of his eyes, Jason looked back at his partner, who was an Eevee no more.

The Umbreon in front of him slowly opened her eyes, which no longer matched her name, and he felt a warmth rising in his chest as he took in her beautiful new form. She looked around the cart and at herself, a troubled look on her face that he guessed was from the sudden change in her vision, both from her newfound height and nocturnal eyes. She gave a weak bark, flinching at her new, deeper voice.

“Hazel?” he remembered asking, causing her blood red eyes to snap towards him. At first, he felt scared, like he was in the line of sight of a hungry predator, but this fear soon evaporated as her gaze softened. She trilled out her version of his name, tilting her head in what could either be relief or more anxiety.

He didn't know why, but the way his name sounded in her new voice did something to him. He felt his heart skip a beat, and while he just dismissed it as coming from understandable worry at the time, looking back, that was the moment everything changed.

He reached out and touched her. Her fur was no longer fluffy, but instead long and silky. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, obviously overstimulated from all of the sudden changes to her body. To his chagrin, his mom and sister started to whoop and holler, congratulating both of them on her Evolution. He knew that was not what she needed at the moment, but couldn’t find the words to protest. Instead, he whispered to her, saying whatever he thought could help her at the moment, that she’s ok, that she’ll get used to her new body, that nothing about who she is has changed.

The rest of the ride was a blur in his memory until they got off. Despite her newfound weight, he picked her up and carried her, trying to shield her from the well-meaning but obnoxious congratulations of their fellow carnival-goers who saw the light show from the ground and been oh-so-helpfully informed of what happened by the ride attendant with a loudspeaker. As they walked, she nuzzled his face with her own; while it was something she had done a million times before, this time, it set off fireworks in his chest as she repeated his name, seemingly enjoying the way it sounded in her new voice just as much as he did.

Jason was jolted out of his memories at the cry of his partner and looked down, aghast to see his hand clenching her scruff, hard. He had apparently done so unconsciously while his mind was elsewhere. He gasped and yanked it away, a look of terror on his face as his mom paused the movie and looked over at them.

“Everything alright?”

Jason was frozen in place, anxieties flooding through him. Why did I do that? Did I hurt her? Everyone’s looking at me. Oh Arceus, what if they know?

Hazel carefully studied his face, disliking his lack of a response and liking what she saw even less. She thought back to what might have caused it, and her mind landed on the scene in the movie, causing her own anxiety to build. Maybe I did reveal too much. Still, she had a more immediate concern, and unlike her partner, she had enough of her wits left to address his mom, turning and nodding with a bark.

That seemed to jolt some situational awareness back into him, as he shook himself and stammered out “Y-yes.”

“If you say so,” his mom said as she turned the movie back on. While most of the household simply returned to watching and talking, the same could not be said for the boy and his Umbreon. He folded his hands across his stomach, having lost his appetite and not wanting to touch his partner at the moment, afraid of hurting her again, or, worse yet, of her touch triggering something more in him. Even her weight on his legs, normally barely noticeable, felt crushing.

Jason keeping his hands to himself was very uncharacteristic, and Hazel did not like this break from normalcy one bit. After all, if she had made the connection between the actions of the character in the movie and herself, so could he. Was… was her secret out after all these years of hiding it? Did he figure it out and is acting cold towards her because of it? Did he know how she felt towards him?

After the movie ended and they had gone to bed, neither of them knew what to do. They had slept in the same bed for as long as they’d known each other, but the newfound tension between them made them both self-conscious at the idea. Her touch still triggered a flood of emotions in him, and she was afraid of making him uncomfortable. Still, Jason was unwilling to ask her to get off; it wouldn’t be fair of him to ask her to sacrifice her own comfort because he couldn’t keep his feelings under control. Similarly, Hazel didn’t want to do something to raise suspicions in case she was reading too much into things, so she compromised by sitting on the foot of the bed. The fact he didn’t reach out to her once throughout the night did nothing to ease her fears.

Nearly every waking thought Jason had for the next two weeks was dedicated to dealing with his self-realization. He felt like he was cursed: love, the same feeling that should've brought him joy, was doing nothing but heaping on untold misery, the likes of which he hadn't felt since the year following his dad's passing. All because of the person he fell in love with.

Well, that wasn’t fair; she did nothing wrong, other than be too damn perfect. No; it was all on him and his fucked up brain for seeing her that way.

That led him back to the question he couldn’t answer that first night: how? How had he allowed himself to develop feelings for a Pokemon? What was wrong with him? It had been thoroughly drilled into him from every aspect of society that it was evil and disgusting; however, despite all of the negative emotions hanging over him like a specter, disgust wasn’t one of them. He almost felt like it should be, but it just wasn’t; to him, feeling that way would imply he thought Hazel herself was disgusting, and even in the depths of self-loathing he had sunk to, he would never let himself think something like that. She was beautiful and amazing and perfect and—and that was the issue, thinking about her in that way, but he couldn’t stop. 

He was caught in an impossible dilemma: thinking about her so affectionately brought on intense shame, but thinking about her any other way made him feel guilty for disparaging her when she had done nothing wrong. That just left trying to avoid thinking about her at all, which, while heartbreaking, was the only moral option left to him. Unfortunately, doing so was easier said than done, and his mind kept wandering back to the topic over and over and over again, leaving him feeling worse and worse at his lack of self-control; he was caught in a death spiral of self-hatred.

Spending so much energy on one train of thought meant everything else started to get neglected. He would stay in his room at all hours he wasn’t in school, even regularly skipping dinner as he didn’t feel like eating. When he was in class, he was only half present. His grades started to slip and he avoided talking to any of his friends. Everyone around him noticed something was wrong, but whenever they reached out, he would shut them down, fearful of his secret being revealed. He could tell his mom was afraid he was having a relapse to the days following the loss of his father, and he decided to let her believe that, despite knowing how badly it might affect her.

Heh. His father. What would he think of his darling boy now?

The one most affected by his sudden withdrawal was Hazel herself. Not thinking about a person is much more difficult when they’re living with you, and as much as it pained Jason to do so, he tried to put some distance between them in hopes of his feelings fading with the space. Normally, they were practically inseparable, sitting and even walking around the house together, but he would deliberately try to avoid her whenever he could, even going so far as locking her out of his room during the day. He was a very touchy-feely person, when it came to her at least, always petting her when they were sitting and holding her when sleeping, but he forced himself to keep his hands off of her. Doing so hurt him, both because of the longing in his chest and that he had grown reliant on the comforting feel of her fur to calm his nerves.

The only interaction he allowed between them was patting her head as a greeting when he came home from school—something he did with Azure as well, so he figured it couldn't be that bad—and those beautiful, tortuous hours of the night when he had no choice but to let her in his room to sleep. Her presence, so close physically but so far emotionally, increased his longing and its associated shame to unbearable levels. He never did kick her off of the bed, but after three nights of no contact between them, she started sleeping on the floor on her own. He could tell his sudden absence was upsetting her, but even though every fiber of his being wanted nothing more than to comfort her, he couldn’t think of a way to do so without revealing the reason behind it. He tried to tell himself this was for her own good, but the hurt and longing in her eyes any time she looked at him wouldn’t let his subconscious accept that. He knew he was hurting her, but also believed it was the lesser of two evils.

The spiral continued.

Hazel didn’t know what was going on in her partner’s head, so her own ideas ran rampant. In her mind, there was only one reason he could possibly have for shutting her out so completely: he figured it out. She flew too close to the sun and he knew how she felt and was disgusted by her. She couldn’t blame him; despite all her fantasizing over the years, she knew there was only one way this was going to end. She had somehow deluded herself into thinking her relationship with Jason was different, but she should’ve remembered the bloody lesson she learned while still at the daycare: true, non-transactional, interspecies relationships of any sort didn’t work. There would always be too many differences. She should’ve stayed his loyal pet , not his friend or—or his partner.

It was too late to change the past, but she could still change the present. He obviously didn’t want her near him and was just too polite to tell her directly, so she would respect her master’s wishes, staying away during the day and on the floor at night. When he didn’t protest her absence, it just further confirmed her beliefs.

To make it even worse, no one around her noticed her own slide into depression, being too focused on Jason. No one, that was, except Azure, her darling baby brother (by two years). She didn’t know whether to be grateful or annoyed at his total disregard for her brooding, practically dragging her out of whatever hole she would crawl into to “play”, although they both knew it was to distract her. At least he had the sense to not ask her about what was wrong.

After one particularly rough day, Hazel really didn’t want to talk to anyone and hid in a corner of the house. Of course, Azure still found her, and despite her mild protests, literally dragged her out with his ribbons to go “explore” the small, already thoroughly surveyed yard. She dragged her feet, her brother obviously running out of ideas to cheer her up.

“{This is stupid. There’s nothing left for us to find and you know it,}” she said to him.

“{Aw c’mon, there could always be something new we’ve missed.}”

“{Well, you can have fun looking for it by yourself because I’m going back inside.}”

“{What, so you can go and sulk by yourself?}” he spat as something in him snapped. He was trying so hard to be his usual bubbly self and keep the family happy and together—because Arceus knows the Humans weren’t helping, letting Jason completely close himself off to the world and not even noticing whatever was happening with his sister—but no one seemed to appreciate his efforts. Hazel stopped in place, shocked at his tone, as he continued. “{I don’t know what’s going on with you and Jason, but you two need to stop wallowing in your misery and work it out. This isn’t healthy and you know it.}”

The hair on her back bristled at his words. “{He’s the one that’s shutting me out. I’m just respecting his wishes. Maybe you should learn a thing or two about that.}” She knew she was lashing out, but couldn’t help it, the pain bleeding out from the confrontation.

Fortunately, her brother had enough understanding to simply ignore the jab. “{Did he actually tell you what he wanted or are you just making assumptions?}”

“{Well tell me, how else am I supposed to take him avoiding me like this other than that he doesn’t want to be around me?}” Tears of grief and anger started to form in her eyes. “{That he’s upset with me? That… that he doesn’t like me anymore?}”

Azure's mood softened at seeing his sister so upset. He wrapped his ribbons around her, pulling her into a hug. “{Well, you’ve been avoiding me , but I know you still like me.}” He pulled back and looked into his sister’s eyes, keeping his ribbons on her shoulders. “{He’s hurting, Hazel; even I can see that. People do dumb things when they’re hurting, like avoid the people they care about most. You just need to figure out why.}”

“{I… I already know why. I did something… bad, and he’s mad at me.}”

“{What did you do?}” Her silence was enough to know she didn't want to talk about it. “{Look, the Jason I know isn't the type to hold grudges like that, so unless you did something to really betray his trust, I don't think that's it. Are you absolutely, completely positive? Did he tell you this himself, or is this just another assumption?}”

She was positive before this conversation, but now she had just the tiniest seed of doubt. “{But what else could it be?}”

“{You could always just ask him.}”

She sputtered a bit. “{How? You know he can’t understand us.}”

“{Not completely, no, but he’ll at least be able to know that you have questions.}”

“{But… but what if I'm right? What if he is mad at me and asking him about it just makes things worse?}”

“{Hazel, I don't think it can get much worse at this point. And what if you're wrong and things get better? Think about it: you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. That's a bet I'd be willing to take if I was in your shoes.}”

She thought about it for a moment and, try as she might, couldn't see any problems in his argument. Pretty much the only way it could be worse at this point is if he tried to kick her out, but even with her constant anxiety, she knew her Jason would never do that to her, no matter how upset he was. And even if he did, there's no way the rest of the family would let him. But, although she knew this was the right thing to do, logically speaking, she was still so, so scared.

“{How did you get so good at giving advice at your age?}” she said, both as some levity to distract from her racing heart and as a final, desperate attempt from her anxiety to discredit him.

“{Well, I had a great teacher,}” he said, pulling her into another hug. “{But advice is worthless if you don’t do anything with it.}”

That was finally enough to break through to her. He was just telling her the same thing she'd tell him if the situation was flipped and he had a falling out with Lucy.

“{I—thank you.}”

“{Don't mention it; what else are siblings for?}”

She cracked a dry smile. “{To go exploring with, of course. C’mon; maybe there's a new leaf or something somewhere in this yard.}”

When Margaret got home from work, she was pleasantly surprised to see Hazel sitting on the couch in the living room, watching TV with her brother. She felt a bit guilty for not noticing her absence until it ended, but she was too focused on her son. The Umbreon looked up upon her entry into the room and stood up in preparation to jump down, but she put her hand up to stop her.

“I’m not going to make you move, especially when your brother is more than capable,” she said, shooting a look at the Sylveon. He grumbled and slunk off, eliciting a laugh from his sister, who sat back down, soon joined by Mrs. Nightingale. “I’m glad to see you’re doing better, at least.” She started to idly pet her son’s Pokemon on the back.

Hazel practically melted at the touch. Weeks of no physical contact from a Human outside of pats on the head and the occasional scritch behind the ears from Lucy was weighing on her more than she realized. If she closed her eyes, she could almost pretend Jason was the one petting her instead of his mom. She did like the woman, but in the way one might like an aunt or a friend’s parents or a mother-in-law ; they weren’t all that close, connected largely by their shared love for Jason—and separated by it, as Hazel was obviously concerned at the idea of her ever finding out how she felt about her son.

Speaking of Jason, after just a few minutes, he and Lucy also came through the door. His sister was blabbering on and on about something, had been ever since they left school. He just tuned her out; a bit hypocritical of him, given he was usually the blabbermouth of the family, but he wasn’t in the mood to listen to what was clearly just another doomed attempt to cheer him up. He slipped his shoes off and immediately tried to slink off towards his room, but that meant passing by the living room.

“Hey, sweeties,” he heard as he walked past. “How was your day?” He groaned a little and turned back to face the room, heart skipping a beat and sinking simultaneously as he saw his partner.

“Good!” Lucy said. Her bubbly optimism, so much like her partner’s, would normally be endearing to him, but it was just aggravating now.

“...fine,” he practically whispered, looking at his feet, causing him to miss how everyone around him faltered at his tone. None of them knew whether or not it was more distressing that there was no edge to it, just pure exhaustion.

“That’s good,” his mom said with a half smile, a slight strain to her voice even Jason picked up on, which caused his heart to sink just a little bit more; at this point, it felt like it might break completely if any more weight was added. He took a step, intending to hide in his room—hopefully that way he wouldn’t cause anyone else any more hurt—but was cut off by his mom.

“Jason, sweetie…” she began before trailing off, wishing she knew what to say to take away his pain like she so desperately wanted. He looked at her, and she took a deep breath and smiled. “You can tell me if anything’s wrong, ok?”

He weakly smiled back. “I know,” he said, but no one believed him, not even himself. There's no way he could ever tell her what was really bothering him.

“That's all I ask.” The moment was so tense both of the Pokemon felt like they could cut it with their claws, and Jason fled from it, finally arriving at the safety of his room.

Margaret sighed. “What are we going to do with him?” she rhetorically asked, moving her hand up to stroke Hazel's head.

The Umbreon could practically feel her brother's gaze on her. Taking a series of deep breaths, she summoned all of the courage she could muster and followed him—only to find his door closed. She pawed at it and held her breath for a response that never came. Sighing, she laid down in front of it; he would have to come out eventually, and when he did, she would be ready for him.

She was starting to reconsider that idea. He'd skipped dinner again that night, and by the time Jason’s mom and Lucy were getting ready for bed, he still hadn't emerged. The occasional noise from him moving around, which only her hyper-sensitive hearing could pick up on, was the only sign he was even still alive. She had long since given up her vigil, sitting in front of the TV with the rest of the household even though she wasn't paying any attention to it, her mind far too busy.

Mrs. Nightingale knocked on her son's door before going to bed. “Jason?” There was the sound of shuffling on the other side.

“...yeah?”

She noticeably paused, trying to find the words before giving up with a sigh. “Good night.”

“G’night.” She waited a moment to see if there would be anything else before walking away. Lucy and Azure paused by his door with conflicted looks of their own before heading to their room.

It wasn't until he had heard the doors to both other bedrooms close that he opened his own and looked around, making eye contact with his partner. He looked awful, a scowl scarring his lips and eyes red and puffy. He sighed and opened the door wider for her, and she ran in, paranoid he’d change his mind and shut her out. She stood next to the foot of the bed, not quite sure what to do as he walked past her and collapsed onto it with a grunt.

For the second time that day, she built up her courage. She took a deep breath, held it, and, before she could back out, jumped on the bed and placed her front feet on her partner.

Jason looked up at her. Her touch after so long felt like a stab to the chest. Go away, he almost snapped, but his voice caught in his throat. That would be too cruel, and, as much as he hated to admit it, he didn’t want her to. He wanted nothing more than to grab hold of her and never let her go again, but he knew he couldn’t.

“What do you want, Hazel,” he asked instead. The disgruntled, almost disappointed tone of his voice nearly made her call the whole thing off, but she had just enough hope built up from her conversation with Azure, and, as awful as it sounded, the sight of him being so broken, to continue.

She trilled at him and tilted her head, putting as much sympathy behind her voice as she could.

Great. Not only was everyone else constantly checking up on him, now so was she. “Nothing’s wr—”

She barked and shook her head. Everyone else might’ve been too scared to challenge that boldfaced lie, but not her. She trilled her earlier question again.

His heart started to race, fearful at being called out and where this conversation might lead. “Look, I just don’t want to talk about it.”

He turned away from her in what she could only imagine was disgust. His continuous dismissals were getting to her, perfectly matching her earlier ideas. That last spark of hope was starting to go out.

She put a paw to her chest with a series of barks and whines, head sinking, unable to keep the dread out of her voice.

He took a second to process what she was saying. He could recognize the questioning tone and a series of barks she used to refer to herself. He didn't recognize the rest of her noises but could definitely pick up on a negative connotation, which she was… using in reference to herself…

He turned back and saw her on the verge of tears and put two and two together. “No no no, Hazel, you did nothing wrong,” he said, his heart on the verge of exploding at the idea she was blaming herself for his current mental state. He reached out to touch her, but caught himself, pulling his hand back and holding it in much the same way he had that first night, his mind swirling as he tried to figure out how to handle this.

Hazel didn’t believe him. If he wasn’t mad at her, why was he still refusing to so much as touch her? He was probably just being, well, Jason: too kind to want to directly hurt her feelings by saying what he really felt. She trilled her question again, choking back a sob.

“I…” he started, not knowing what to say.

She loudly barked at him, grief giving way to anger. Quit playing these games and just fucking tell me how much you hate me already. When she didn’t get a response, she scoffed and jumped off the bed. This was a mistake; she knew the answer all along. All she was doing now was drawing out their suffering.

“Hazel, wait!” he called, reaching out to her, but she was already walking towards the door. She stopped and looked at him, gazing into his eyes, waiting, but he was still too scared to answer. She slowly turned back and started back on her path. The idea of her leaving him while still angry, maybe never to return, at least not to how things were before, was horrific enough to finally give the part of him that wanted her more power over the rest. “Don’t go!” he called, but she barely hesitated. Panicking, he blurted out the only thing his brain could think might make her stay: “I lo—” he cut himself off with a gulp, rationality taking back over.

Was he really doing this? With the way her ears twitched and she froze in place, the answer had to be yes. He couldn’t let her think this was her fault, and the only way he could see how to prevent that was to be honest, no matter the consequences.

“I love you.” She carefully turned around, eyes widened. “A-and I don’t mean a-as a friend o-or something. I… I’m in love with you.” Despite his fear and shame reaching an all time high, just getting that off his chest felt like a weight being lifted, and he let out a wheeze.

She lightly trilled, head tilting.

“I—I know that it’s wrong,” he started to ramble, “but I c-can’t help it. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you. I thought that i-if I stopped interacting with you, these f-feelings would go away, but they didn’t, and it just ended up h-hurting you, and I’m so, so, so sorry.” He started to cry. “You can go ahead and hate me. I-if you never want to see me again, I… I understand. Why would you want to be around some freak who fell in love with a Pokemon? What sort of horrible person treats the person they love like this? I—I—I…” his words trailed off as his emotions became too much and he buried his head in his hands, wordlessly crying. He flinched as he heard the sound of paws patting on the floor, totally convinced she was leaving him. As such, he was surprised to feel his bed sink from her weight and her nose nudge against his forehead. He looked up at her and saw a nervous expression on her face, her eyes darting around and lips trembling. Before he could ask what she was doing….

….Hazel reached down and kissed him.

A sudden wave of shock and confusion swept over him, freezing him in place and erasing any and all thoughts in his head as the sheer dissonance between what he was expecting and what’d actually happened overwhelmed him. As his brain slowly pieced itself back together, it focused on the simple facts of what was happening:

I am being kissed.

By Hazel.

Who is a Pokemon.

Oh Arceus, I'm being kissed by a Pokemon—and it's one of the best things I've ever felt.

As soon as he returned to coherent thought, however, the kiss ended. Hazel pulled away, tears streaming down her face as she looked down, which just made him even more confused. What was happening? First she was upset with him, then when he confessed to her, she… kissed him.

Wait.

Did… did she feel the same way towards him? The thought set his heart racing, but unlike every time before, the only emotions that accompanied it were positive.

But if that was the case, why was she crying? His mind raced as he tried to figure it out, replaying the last few minutes in his mind. “Why would you want to be around some freak who fell in love with a Pokemon?” If she was… in love with him ( Arceus that's an exciting thought ), that question could imply there was something wrong with her, especially with how he had frozen in place like an idiot when she made her own feelings clear. The thought he had inflicted her with the same misery he was dealing with was one of the most painful he’d ever had; fortunately, however, there was a way to instantly banish it.

He reached out and cupped her face in his hands, drawing it towards him. Arceus, he missed the feel of her fur. She looked up at him, expression marred by anxiety, and without hesitating, he kissed her. He could clearly feel the surprise in his partner and just as clearly feel it melt away as she returned it. Her lips—those same damnable, perfect lips that started all this in the first place—felt silky soft against his as they pushed against each other with all their might. All of the fear, the adrenaline, the longing they felt were channeled into the kiss. They fell back onto the bed, Hazel on top, and didn't stop for a second. It felt like they were melting together, becoming one. They never wanted to be apart ever again.

Hazel eventually broke from the kiss, and before Jason had a chance to react, she dragged her tongue across his lips. She moved down, trailing along his chin and neck, causing a small moan to escape his mouth. When she arrived at his shirt, she grabbed it with her teeth and began tugging at it.

“S-stop,” Jason gasped, lightly pushing his partner back. Hazel let go and stared at him, a look of anxious disappointment in her eyes. It hurt him to see it—the last thing he wanted was to cause her more distress—but he had read enough ‘romance’ stories to know where this was going, and felt like he had to stop it.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t do this right now,” he said, trying to let her down gently.

She whimpered, looking down at her feet. She felt ashamed at herself for pushing so hard so fast and afraid of what her best friend would think of her for it. Or, she did, until the implication of those last two words hit her. She jolted her head back back up and was met with a worried smile on Jason’s face.

He was conflicted. On the one hand, it had been drilled into him that this was wrong, so very, very wrong; on the other, they had already broken so many boundaries that night, and Hazel had made it very clear she wanted this. Who was he to tell her she was wrong for that? He wasn't sure how he felt about it himself, having never so much as thought about it before that moment.

“I’m not saying never,” he started, “but I don’t think I’m ready for something like that yet. Also, I’m pretty sure mom would just straight up kill us if she found out,” he darkly chuckled.

Hazel just sighed in response, but even the vague hope of “not never” sent a small shiver up her spine. She laid down on top of him, enjoying his warmth she had so dearly missed, and he wrapped his arms around her once again. They sat there in a comfortable silence, basking in each other’s embrace in the wake of the roller coaster of emotions they had both just experienced, and soon drifted off to sleep.

They didn't care what tomorrow might bring, so long as they had each other.