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It was around ten on a hot July night. She stared into Pav’s window, heart beating much faster than normal. Usually, Miles lets herself in, says hi, crashes there, wakes up, eats, leaves. She only did it when it was…too much in her world. Stresses from school, her parents, and other spider shit that someone her age shouldn’t have to deal with. It was like a routine for the both of them…something abnormal, but welcome.
This time was different.
The air was colder, her skin prickled, and her breath was way too shaky for her own good. She wasn’t here because of shitty teachers or a failed mission or anything like that. Miles wasn’t one to talk about personal stuff with anyone, but if she had to, it would be with Pav. He had a right to know, after all. They’ve been friends for so long and Miles prayed that this wouldn’t change anything. If it did…at least she’d have Gwen.
She stared into Pav’s window, heart beating. From the reflection, she was still Miles. The Miles they all knew and loved. The Miles who fought against an entire team of spider people. The Miles who never gave up.
The Miles who didn’t know who the hell she was.
She knocked on Pav’s window, hoping for him to answer soon. The cold was getting bothersome to her, even with all she was wearing. She bit her fingernails, a habit she had developed over her time as being Spiderman- wait…Spidergirl? Yeah. That sounds nice. A lot nicer. She’ll have to make a note to use more feminine terms too, but that probably comes with the general “trans girl package”.
It took him a second longer (which made Miles even more nervous) to open the window, and he greeted Miles with his usual bright-as-sunshine smile. Miles tried to return the smile but she couldn’t. The best she could do was a half smile, and even that felt ingenuine, which made the pit in Miles’ stomach sink further down.
”Pav! Dude! Sup…dude! Sorry, um…how’ve you been?” Miles never typically fumbled over her words like this. Scratch that. Yes, she did. Her first interaction with Gwen was a nightmare, and her speech reminded her of it.
Fuck.
”Ah, blessed and highly favored, as per usual. Come in, come in. I’ve prepared some chai for you~!”
”Heyyy! You remembered! I love chai te-“ She stopped herself and gulped before the boy could go on his usual “it’s chai, not chai tea” rant. She stepped inside softly, making her movements a bit more delicate. Being a girl was all about being graceful and stuff, right? Sucks that she didn’t know ballet or anything…but softer steps works too.
She sat down on Pav’s bed, taking the cup of hot tea in her hands. A quick whiff and she could tell it was just how she liked it, a drizzle of honey and a pinch of cardamom (yes, cardamom. Don’t yuck her yum). She took a sip and sighed, letting the warmth of the drink fill her body. It soothed her in a way nothing else could. She finished the cup quickly and set it down on the nightstand, before clearing her throat and turning to Pav.
”I-I…uh…shit,” She coughed, feeling her eyes get a little watery, ”You…You like me, right? Like as a friend, yeah?”
Pav tilted his head and stared right at the girl. ”Well duh! If I didn’t, then I wouldn’t be risking my butt for you to be here!”
Miles let out a soft chuckle and shook her head ”Yeah, my bad…” Hesitating, she continued, ”I…I got something to tell you…Pav.”
Her voice cracked when she said his name, sniffling a bit. ”You…I…fuck…”
Honestly, she didn’t know how to say it. She knew WHAT she wanted to say. ‘Pav, I’m a girl. I hope you can accept me.’ It’s just that…the words didn’t want to come out. She thought it would be easy. After all, she was Spiderma–girl. She fought baddies thrice a week while studying for AP exams. Telling your friend you’re a girl sounded like a cakewalk. Although she had no real doubt in her mind that Pav wouldn’t accept her wholeheartedly, there was that horrible nagging feeling in her mind that he would hate her. But there’s only one way to know…right?
”Pav…I’m…a…” She didn’t know if she could continue, if she could really tell him. Maybe she could back up and say it was all just a big April fool’s but she was too into it. She would have to tell him eventually.
I- fuck…I’m…a…girl.” She was already on the verge of crying, but by the third word, she completely broke down into sobs. Pavitr could barely make out the ‘girl’, but he understood. He had a lot of questions, and a lot of thoughts, but none of them are what Miles needed to hear right now. All she needed to hear was ‘I accept you’. And Pav would say just that.
”Oh Miles…dudette…I accept you! Why wouldn’t I?” He stumbled over the dudette, almost saying dude. He didn’t know if Miles still wanted to be called dude
Miles looked up at him with her doe-like eyes and smiled, except this time, it wasn’t soft and rehearsed, but real. Toothy, dimple-y, and absolutely real. Pav pulled her into a hug as Miles sobbed onto him. Whether it was tears of sadness, joy, or a mix of both, Pav hoped she knew she was safe with him. Completely and utterly safe.
Safe and sound. Forever.