Chapter Text
With a sigh, Johan puts the fluffy towel around his shoulders and leaves the bathroom. His feet carry him to the large bed, on the edge of which he sits down. He smiles softly as he sees his spirit partner sleeping peacefully on the pillow. Johan wishes he could sleep too. Despite the late hour and the long day, he is wide awake.
Emerald green eyes wander to the bedside table and linger on the light blue smartphone that rests there, silent and forgotten. He remembers very well how this device found its way into his hands:
The cruise ship anchors in the West Academy harbor after several days of sailing. Johan and Jim stand on deck with O'Brien and say goodbye to their African friend. Before he turns around and leaves the ship, he reaches into his backpack and pulls out two devices, which he holds out to them.
"This will keep us in touch," explains O'Brien.
"Are you crazy?" Jim objects, his visible eye wide open. "These things are expensive!"
Johan stares open-mouthed at O'Brien as he carefully presses the cell phone against his chest. Jim has a point. Johan knows only too well how expensive such a phone is. After all, he looked at several models before transferring to the Duel Academy.
"I have all your numbers stored in my own under speed dial." O'Brien raises his golden smartphone as he strides away.
"He's crazy," Jim laughs, giving his friend a long look.
Johan opens his mouth as he feels the phone vibrate in his hands. Confused, he looks at the display, which shows him a message under the name O'Brien. He opens the sub-window and snaps his eyes wide open: I've taken the liberty of saving Judai's number as well. You can find it under speed dial one.
"He's a good friend," Johan mumbles absently as he feels a smile spread across his lips. He hugs the phone tightly to his chest again, "Thanks O'Brien."
"How long are you going to stare at that phone? Call him already." Amethyst cat appears next to him on the bed and looks at him challengingly.
"Amethyst," Johan admonishes in a resigned tone. "Don't you think he'd call if he had the time?"
"Judai will never call first!" she snaps back. "And I'm tired of seeing you so dejected."
Johan sighs and lets himself fall back onto the bed. His green eyes are fixed on the ceiling, on which a wind chime is hanging, reflecting the sun. He really wishes that Amethyst and Ruby had a solid body. Then they could give him more warmth and comfort.
As the light in colors of the rainbow flit across his walls in waves, his mind wanders. It's not as if he hasn't heard from Judai since he left school two years ago. Every now and then he receives an email with pictures or a text message. Text messages are impersonal and cannot reflect the feelings that are meant to be conveyed. He would love to hear Judai's voice. The deep, smooth tenor that can sound both chilling and authoritarian and gives Johan goosebumps. The sad thing is that the memory of the exact sound of his voice is slowly fading.
Johan turns on his side and fixes his eyes once again on the smartphone, which is literally shouting at him accusingly. Slowly and reverently, he stretches out his arm. He holds it in the air for a few seconds before dropping it on the bed with a sigh.
Does Judai miss anyone at all? Or is Johan the only one he's avoiding? Even after the fight with Darkness, they haven't exchanged a word. Instead, they smiled at each other and exchanged glances. His heart tightens painfully at the memory, because Judai didn't look happy at all. His eyes were dull and his smile was a grimace at best. He was not feeling well at all. However, he wouldn't let anyone get close to him. Not even him! What if he was still in that state? Johan wished Judai knew that he could rely on him. Is that perhaps the reason why Judai never calls him?
Johan closes his eyes in agony and groans inwardly. He doesn't know what is more painful. That Judai doesn't trust him despite everything they've been through, or that he deliberately excludes him from his life.
"You're doing it again," grumbles an annoyed Amethyst.
Johan laughs humorlessly. How can he not think about Judai? He's been in love with him ever since their eyes first met. And his only mistake so far has been to keep quiet.
"What else do you think I should do?"
"Oh, I don't know? Maybe do what I've been telling you for weeks?"
" And what should I tell him?" Johan asks, not even considering that Judai won't take his call.
"The truth?" With a frustrated sound, Johan buries his face in his comforter. Sometimes his family can be a pain. Even when they only have his best interests at heart. "Suffocation is not the way out. Now be a man and call him!"
"Easy for you to say," Johan mumbles into the blanket. He doesn't even bother to disagree, as he knows Amethyst is right. The longer he waits, the worse his nervousness gets. So he takes a deep breath before getting up and grabbing the smartphone. Sitting cross-legged, he makes himself comfortable in the middle of the bed. His shaky, damp hands rest in his lap and turn the phone back and forth.
"Watching you is worse than a toothache," grumbles Amethyst, putting a paw over her eyes.
"How do you know what a toothache feels like?" asks Johan in a mixture of amusement and concern.
"Oh, I give it up!"
With one leap, the pink big cat jumps off the bed and disappears into the hallway. Johan looks after her for a long time before pushing open the cell phone and hovering over the number one with his thumb. He takes a deep breath and tries to calm his wildly beating heart, which is literally jumping out of his chest.
"Come on Johan. You can do it!"
"Rubi bi!"
Ruby Carbuncle is technically a spirit. Therefore, he shouldn't be able to feel the pressure of her little paw and yet the extra weight ensures that his finger presses firmly on button 1. Before he can realize what has just happened, the ringtone sounds. Startled, he drops the device and stares at it as if it were Medusa's head itself.
" Ruby, what have you done?" he asks in a wheezing tone as his blood rushes through his veins and nausea creeps up his throat.
"Bi."
Ruby coaxes him to turn on the speaker. With bated breath, Johan listens to the ringtone. He wipes his hands on his thighs again and again. Come on, answer it, thinks Johan. But after the third ring, his hope slowly fades. With a long-drawn-out sigh, he reaches for his smartphone to cancel the call when...
"Ha... ahh... jaah?" Johan's cheeks turn bright red and his jaw drops. He is at a loss for words. "Ah... ha...llo?"
"Uh... I'll... call later," Johan manages to croak out. Before he can press the red receiver and end the call, Judai's voice rings out.
"Ha... J-Johan!"
"Uh-huh."
"Please... don't hang up."
Johan raises an eyebrow as he hears the missed voice. He buries his glowing face in his hands and bites his lower lip hard to keep from groaning again. Johan wasn't seriously thinking about it when he made the call, but this isn't how he imagined their conversation would go.
"Johan? Are you still there?"
The hesitant but hopeful voice of his best friend almost breaks his heart. Taking a deep breath, Johan lowers his hands again. His pulse is still beating far too fast, but a comforting warmth has spread from the soles of his feet to the top of his head as he hears the familiar, beloved voice.
"Ah, yes." Johan's tongue feels like it's stuck to the roof of his mouth. He lets himself fall back and stares at his ceiling as he listens to the rustling at the end of the line. It almost sounds like Judai is peeling himself out of bed. Hmm, I wonder if he's leaving a lover behind? It sounded very much like it. His heart tightens painfully at the thought. "You seem to be busy. I didn't mean to interrupt." Johan is surprised at himself. Despite his contradictory feelings, the words flow smoothly from his lips. Even his tone is neither dark nor particularly cheerful.
"W-what? NO!" A loud crash is heard, making Johan flinch. "Shimata! Shit! Johan, don't hang up!"
"But..."
"It's not what you're thinking," Judai replies so hastily that he doesn't even let Johan finish. His voice is so urgent that Johan can literally feel his panic. "I... It's... two o'clock... at night at my place, Johan. I was asleep..."
Johan has the feeling that his face will remain permanently red. He grabs his cell phone, which is still lying on his thighs, and places it carefully next to him on the pillow. Then he turns to the side. When he closes his eyes, he can imagine Judai lying next to him.
"I'm surprised I could wake you," Johan murmurs before he can stop himself. His words lead to a surprised laugh that is infectious. They both remember only too well how hard it was to get him awake in the morning.
"I don't sleep deeply anymore."
This confession makes Johan's grin disappear. Sure, he can justify the Hero Deck Duelist's words by saying that he travels the world and can't always stay in a hotel. But he suspects that it has more to do with the events from the other dimension.
"It's all the more important that you sleep at all," Johan admonishes in a light tone of voice. "I can still call you in a few hours."
"Johan." Judai's sigh is hard to ignore. " Now I'm already awake. And... I want to hear your voice."
"You've never called or visited me since you graduated," Johan whispers, trying not to sound accusatory or reproachful. He doesn't seem to have done a good job of it, though, as Judai draws in a sharp breath and remains guiltily silent for several moments. "Sorry... that... ah, that..."
"Johan, I don't have any contact information from you or the others. The only exception is O'Brien."
The crystal monster deck duelist draws in a sharp breath. His heart becomes as heavy as stone.
"Oh Judai," Johan whispers.
"Don't. Please," it sounds just as quietly over the phone. "It was..." He hears Judai groan in frustration and then the squeak of a bed protesting. "I had to stand on my own two feet. If I had contact information... it would be so easy..."
Judai doesn't have to keep talking for Johan to understand him. It only makes the realization more painful that Judai is still punishing himself. He probably doesn't even realize it. With a mental state like that, it's a wonder Judai was able to save them from Darkness.
"Well, since I'm apparently the first caller... Well, tell me, what have you been up to? Any heroic actions?" Johan decides to change the subject. Now that the first step has been taken, he'll make sure he doesn't break off contact with Judai again. Therefore, they have enough time to talk about deep, traumatizing topics later.
Judai's surprised and relieved laughter is like music to his ears. And so Johan listens to Judai's stories with bated breath and a tingling sensation in his stomach.
"Heroic actions? Is that what they call it these days?" Judai asks, amused. He seems to be making himself comfortable, because there is another rustle. "My journey began in the desert of America. Pretty hot and barren place, if you ask me. The chances of survival out there are far from ideal. And a lot of ghost towns, I tell you. Even creepier than the other dimension. Anyway, we helped a couple of dueling spirits there. They were apparently left behind by their owners. I gave them to a boy who could see the duel spirits but didn't have his own deck. Both parties were happy with this solution. The boy's parents were not. I then explored the canyons and rescued a duelist from a cleft in the rocks he fell into after his cards fell in there. He was able to collect the cards before he got wedged in."
Johan puts one arm under his head and strokes Ruby behind the ears with his other hand, since she has moved closer to him in the meantime. When Johan closes his eyes, he can visualize the stories. And knowing Judai, he downplays the events so that he doesn't worry. That's so typical of Judai.
"Hmm, what else? Ah yes, then there was this guy, something like a loan shark, only he specialized in cards. Later it turned out to be a whole gang. They challenged duelists and then took their decks and sold them. In Miami, I was on the trail of a card thief who was stealing rare cards from museums and stores. I also had a reunion with Anacis there. Man, that guy never gives up. At least he didn't kidnap me this time!"
Johan grimaces when he hears the name. He wasn't at the duel, but Sho, Manjome and Asuka told him about it when he was in the infirmary after returning to the Duel Academy. And from the way Judai sounds, he still has a dislike for Anacis.
"Are you sure he's not secretly following you?" Johan bites his lower lip the next moment. Why is it that he tends to say what he's thinking when he's talking to Judai?
"Oh, I'm sure of it. I've got O'Brien on him."
Green eyes widen as his lower jaw drops. Shaking his head, he catches himself a few seconds later before grinning in amusement. Only the Hero Deck Duelist would think to put their mutual friend down for something like this.
"God Ju-chan. I miss you," Johan admits, his ears and cheeks glowing so red you could fry eggs on them. He curls up and hugs himself. Ruby looks at him with sad red eyes before she snuggles up to him and gently licks his cheek. Unfortunately, she is only a spirit, so he doesn't feel her comforting gesture. Nevertheless, he is grateful to her. But it doesn't change the fact that he would give anything to be in Judai's arms.
A soft, restrained yet wet-sounding laugh reaches his ears. Johan can literally see Judai's face in front of him. While scattered tears make their way down his cheeks, his eyes shine brightly against the full moon. How Johan would love to sink into those eyes and forget everything around him.
"I-I miss you too."
"Are you just saying that so I don't feel bad?" Johan asks carefully, not having missed the brief hesitation.
"No, never." Judai lets out a frustrated sigh. He is probably ruffling the hair on the back of his neck, as he always does when he is nervous or in a situation that makes him uncomfortable. "Johan... I'm lousy when it comes to emotions. I'm either ignorant or have no idea what they're saying to me, even when they're literally biting me in the ass."
Johan bites his lower lip while the corners of his mouth twitch uncontrollably. Then he loses the fight and snorts indignantly. Judai is absolutely right in his assessment. Even if it is progress that he is aware of this weakness.
"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead and laugh," Judai grumbles. His words are feigned graveness, because Johan can hear the suppressed giggles. "I'm in Europe now. In Italy, to be precise. Pegasus asked me to take a look at one of his branches. They say the building is haunted. Cards and designers suddenly disappear..."
"Do you need help?" His heart is pounding in his throat. That sounds like a lot of trouble. Trouble that Judai might not be able to handle on his own. Just the idea that Judai could be seriously hurt makes his stomach rebel. Who would back him up in that case? Hadn't he sworn to support Judai so that he wouldn't buckle under the weight of the world? And now he sits here again and can do nothing more than hope from afar that everything goes well. Johan must have made a tortured sound as his mind wandered, because Judai's soft voice brings him back to the here and now.
"Jo-kun." Johan shudders at the pet name he hasn't heard in ages. "I promise you, it's not a dangerous assignment. So don't worry about it."
"That's so easy to say..." mumbles Johan in a shaky voice.
"Would you feel better if I called you when I get there?"
Johan would like to agree, but then he realizes that it's very childish. Judai has shown more than once that he can take care of himself and is strong enough to stand up to anything. Sure, it doesn't stop him from worrying. But he trusts Judai. So he takes a deep breath before answering.
"Yes, but I'll be fine if you write me a message when you've finished the investigation."
"Are you sure?" Judai asks, and to Johan's ears it almost sounds as if he's trying to persuade him to change his mind. "It would be no trouble at all."
"If you were to be challenged to a duel, I would only distract you with the call." Johan takes a deep breath before adding meekly: "I wouldn't want you to get hurt."
"Johan."
How can the sound of his name coming out of Judai's mouth feel like a hug? Johan's whole body shudders and his heart beats madly against his chest. As if it wants to fly to Judai. He can't help but think about how Judai would pronounce his name when they kissed. Would his voice sound dark and full of promise? Or occupied and longing? God, he hopes to get an answer to these questions.
"I'll give you another proposition," Judai begins, yawning. "As soon as I finish the assignment, I'll come visit you."
"Oh Ju-chan, I can't wait to see you again," Johan replies immediately and without giving his words much thought.
"It's a deal. As soon as I'm done, I'll come and see you. Until then, we'll write each other messages."
"All right. And now off to bed with you," orders Johan, who makes no move to reach for his cell phone. Since Judai doesn't object, Johan concludes that he is very exhausted. This assumption is confirmed shortly afterwards when he hears the brown-haired man making himself comfortable. When his breathing reaches his ear evenly and deeply, he is certain that the Hero Deck Duelist has plunged into the realm of dreams. "Sleep well, Ju-chan," Johan whispers softly, and shuts his own eyes to follow his best friend.
He is accompanied by Judai's breathing as he dreams of their reunion.