Chapter Text
“If we're done talking about me like I'm not even here,” Nico cut in. “Last time I was down here you asked about school?”
Will began to eat his lasagna. He was starving. All the terror of the evening had apparently worked up an appetite.
“Yes,” Hades said. “New Rome University does allow Children of the Underworld. But you do need at the very least a high school education. Chiron is an admirable teacher, a shame about that brat Dionysus, however you may be lacking certain more banal skills. Like math or English.”
Will paused between bits.
“He has a point,” Will admitted. “History too.”
“I'm catching up on modern stuff!” Nico said. “Current events and all that.”
“I am often behind there,” Hades recalled. “No one ever tells me anything. You'd think someone would have mentioned the Thirty Years War to me at some point.”
Will and Nico looked blankly at him.
“But no,” Hades continued. “Ares and Apollo have a scuffle and suddenly a bunch of smelly Germans show up at my gates with no warning. Ugh, it was a nightmare to work through them all.”
“...anyway,” Nico said. “I do see your point about school at stuff. I can't really do remote because of the whole electronics thing.”
“My offer of tutors is still open,” Hades replied. “All of history’s greatest minds.”
“I think some interaction will do me good,” Nico said. “But Chiron has some connections with a school in Riverhead. I can stay at Camp but still get an education.”
Hades nodded slowly, deep in thought. Nico slipped a meatball to Cerberus then passed the container to Will so that the other heads could get some. A wagging tail thumped beneath them rapidly.
“And what about you William?” Hades asked suddenly, startling Will out of giving head scritches to Cerberus.
“Me?” He asked, shifting uncomfortably. “Like about school?”
“Yes,” Hades said. “I do not particularly care for the quality of your education, but you have helped Nico. And if you were far away, that would be most unbeneficial to his well being.”
“Father,” Nico squealed. “You can't just ask him to uproot his life just for me!”
“Nico is right,” Will replied. “My mom still tours some, but I'm probably gonna be in Houston for school.”
“That is some ways away from New York,” Hades said, disapprovingly.
“Not as far as it could be,” Will replied. “We can still use landlines. And, if worst comes to worst, a three hour flight. Remember, I can fly by airplane, not like Nico. Less if my Dad is willing to give me a ride. Which if there's an emergency, I bet he will. He likes Nico.”
“He does?” Nico asked.
“Yeah,” Will said offhandedly. “He thinks we're cute or whatever. I try not to think about it too much.”
Nico blushed, while Hades nodded thoughtfully.
“Acceptable,” He said. As if Will needed his approval. Will turned and finished up his lasagna, Nico finishing up his pasta.
“Any desert?” Hades asked, and Will noticed he hadn't even touched his ambrosia yet. The demigods had clean plates, but nothing for the God. It was all for show.
But at Hades’ word, Will became conscious of just how tired he was, and just how full he was. It had been a long, stressful day and he had already eaten plenty of lasagna and had some wine. He shook his head.
“No thank you sir,” He said, stifling a yawn, his eyes suddenly heavy. Nico looked to be nodding off as well. He was so cute when he was asleep. None of the worry or anger. Will’s eyes fluttered, struggling to stay awake. Why was he struggling anyway?
Even Hades seemed a bit groggy, frowning.
“What is…HYPNOS!” The Lord of the Dead bellowed, snapping Nico and Will awake. Slightly. “There are Mortals Here! Exert some control!”
“Sorry boss,” A Voice, Hypnos said, sounding like a lullaby. Will's eyes shut again, and he heard only dimly. “Thanatos just wanted me to tell you that he's finished up the security report like he asked. He'll be here in a bit.”
“Yes yes thank yooouuuu,” even Hades himself could not resist a yawn. “But you need to get going before you put my son and his boyfriend to sleep.”
“Got it boss,” Hypnos replied. “I could go for a nap myself.”
It took a few moments for Will to blink himself back awake. Nico was rubbing his eyes. Below them two of Cerberus’ heads were fast asleep, with the one awake still lying on the floor.
“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” Hades grumbled. “Would either of you care for desert? I should have thought to order some already.”
“None for me,” Will repeated. He wasn’t exhausted anymore, but Hypnos had left him feeling contented in a way he couldn’t quite describe.
“I’m good as well,” Nico said.
“Very well,” Hades said, vanishing his untouched plate and the empty ones Nico and Will had left. A bag of garlic bread still remained.
“Take it with you,” The Lord of the Dead suggested. Will was fine with that. Nico loved to wake up late and subsist on leftovers so it was good to know he would have something tomorrow. Nico nodded, no doubt thinking the same thing.
“It has been an honor,” Will said.
“Yes I imagine it was for you,” Hades replied imperiously. “It was certainly…illuminating to meet you William Solace. Very few have met me and lived to tell the tale.”
“Thank you for that,” Will said earnestly.
“You are my guest,” Hades continued. “Nico seemed fearful that I might strike you down as I have other travelers to my realm, like that Ambrose Bierce brat. But you are not an intruder in the Underworld, you were invited. And there are few things more sacred than a Guest Right. Even my brothers, who so often break oaths, hold it as inviolable.”
Will had a hard time believing Zeus kept that.
“Even Zeus?” Nico, apparently more used to badmouthing the King of the Gods, asked.
Hades nodded.
“Indeed,” Hades said. “Now, if you are summoned to Olympus for judgment, he can be most wrothful. And if you violate his hospitality as a guest…well you are a fool. But if he truly invites you of his own will, Olympus is safer than anywhere else. And, while he has never deigned to visit me, his eldest brother, I have heard he is a truly magnificent houseguest. The last mortal who let him sleep off a hangover won the lottery the next day, and they didn’t even play.”
“Huh,” Will said.
“I tell you this because I to value the bond between guest and host,” Hades continued. “So long are you are invited, and avoid breaking my laws by violence or trying to raise the dead, you face no harm here.”
“Thank You,” Will.
“I do not deign to fight mortals personally,” Hades continued. “If I strike you down, it will be through the Furies and the Hellhounds and the other beasts at my beck and call. And it will be for a grave insult against me and my person, not Nico.”
“Oh,” Will said, shifting nervously.
“Father,” Nico hissed.
“I have said my piece to William,” Hades said. “Nico, you knew this was coming. I am not going to threaten him endlessly. He knows I am powerful. He is not a fool.”
As Will nodded and took the compliment, a dark shadow entered the room, torches flickering. A tall, dark man, with dark wings entered. Will should be terrified. He was terrified. But there was also something disturbingly peaceful about him. Also he was hot.
“Thanatos,” Hades said. “You have met Nico before, this is his companion William Solace.”
Oh so the hot buff Angel was Death. Lovely.
“My Lord,” Thanatos said. “I have conducted the review of security you requested. It is…most disturbing. The Doors of Death being chained affected other exits like ripples in a pool. There is work to be done. Much.”
“I see,” Hades said, without much joy, although Will supposed he shouldn’t expect much joy given what had just been said. “I believe we were just wrapping up here.”
“Yes Father,” Nico said, standing. “Should the Furies return us to the passage or…”
Will’s boyfriend looked over at Thanatos, clearly a bit worried that his direct line to the Underworld might be cut off.
“Hmmm,” Hades said. “I think we have enough leaks at the moment, if what Thanatos said is true.”
Nico’s face fell.
“The Young Master’s passage should not be impacted in the long term,” Thanatos said. “I expect Lord Hades and I should be able to do some basic patches tonight, and we can secure it directly to the palace, which remains secure I trust?”
Hades nodded.
“Yes,” He replied. “That would be wise. Thanatos would you be so kind as to escort these two back to Camp Half-Blood? Upon your return we can discuss your proposals in more depth.”
“If you want Hermes, get Hermes,” Thanatos grumbled. “I’m a taker of souls, not someone to deliver your packages.”
“No,” Hades said. “You are not. But Nico and William are not mere packages.”
It was faint praise, but heartening coming from a god.
“I apologize for the hastened departure,” Hades said. “But this was a thoroughly enjoyable evening. I think we shall have to repeat it sometime in the future.”
That was both exhilarating and terrifying to consider.
“Nico,” Hades said. “Remain in touch regarding your educational arrangements. And keep yourself safe.”
“I will father,” Nico said.
The Lord of the Dead had nothing but a solemn nod for Will, which was good enough for him. They rose, giving a whimpering Cerberus one last triple head pat for the road. As they followed Thanatos from the chamber, Nico scooped up the bag of garlic bread left over from the meal.
They followed Thanatos into the inky blackness, before emerging at what seemed to be the Palace’s stables. At least based on all the dark, spiky, chariots and the skeleton horses milling about. Thanatos’ ride was instead pulled by…butterflies?
Before Will could even ask, the God of Death snapped his fingers, and the chariot transformed into a slick, modern car. It hummed, apparently electric rather than gas powered, which didn't make much sense because it ran on magic either way.
“Back seat,” Thanatos ordered. “And do not mess anything up, or you will learn what it means to be mortals in the face of death.”
With that ominous warning, the doors popped open, and Will followed Nico into the backseat as Thanatos folded up his wings and sat behind the wheels. The seats were smooth and black, with white stitches. In front of Thanatos was an electric dashboard beside the wheel. It glowed, providing the only light in the car. There were no seatbelts, which a Will supposed made sense for the Car of Death.
“You'll be going to Camp Half-Blood,” The God said. “I am not a Chaperone, not a Chauffeur. I have no tolerance for funny business, understand?”
Will didn't know what he meant by funny business, but he nodded quickly, Nico joined.
Thanatos nodded and slammed his foot down.
Will had shadow traveled before. It had been…unpleasant. He preferred other modes of transit. Up to and including his dad’s chariot. But now, Will would never complain about shadow travel for the rest of his life.
They drove straight into a dark wall, which would have been normal for shadow travel. But instead of lurching through the darkness they passed over some sort of horizon that was life and dark. Light and death. Will glanced out the window and saw worlds being ended, worlds being made, and worlds being lived. They passed through the totality of the universal individual and through the penumbra of the insignificant galaxy. He saw a cat. He saw a koala. The event horizon of death passed by and inverted again. The souls of the never saved and never damned ran through him as he felt perpetual nothingness come into being.
The car then stopped in front of the Hades cabin, the door popping open beside Will.
“Out,” Thanatos said sharply, but Will didn't need to be told twice. Nico followed, nearly falling flat on his face as he did so, white garlic bread bag slipping in his hand.
The car folded out of existence in front of their eyes.
“What sort of 2001 Space Odyssey bullshit was that?” Will asked, feeling more than a little queasy.
“Probably best not to think about it,” Nico advised shakily. “Or talk about it.”
“Yeah,” Will conceded before they fell into an awkward silence, staring at the space where the car had been. It was dark, past curfew, but somehow Will doubted the Harpies would be troubling either of them any time soon
“Well,” Will said finally. “I'm not dead. Which beats the prophecy I guess.”
“No it doesn't,” Nico said, realization dawning on his face in the moonlight. “Death will take you away. Death did take you away from dinner, literally!”
“And your Dad,” Will said, remembering something. “He told me not to pray to the gods of the living at dinner.”
Nico smiled slightly.
“Well that’s good,” He said. “Now we just need to figure out why I need to beware for the bread.”
Will looked down at Nico’s feet and groaned. Nico quickly joined him. When Nico had tumbled out of Thanatos’s car, he had dropped the bag with the garlic bread. The bread had spilled out onto the dirt, and Nico was now standing on it. Will looked away, it was pretty gross.
“That was going to be my breakfast!” Nico complained. “Come on!”
“You can’t fight fate,” Will reminded him. “Destiny comes for us all. Now do you have any idea what the doom of Orestes is?”
“Nope,” Nico said. “I should have asked who that was at some point probably.”
“I think I remember,” Will said, trying to recall Annabeth Chase’s lessons on mythology. “Wasn’t he the son of Agamemnon who murdered his mom who murdered his dad who murdered his sister?”
“I think so.”
“And something about juries? And forgiveness?” Will said.
“Wait,” Nico said. “I remember this. The Furies told me about this, they just didn’t remember his name. The hounded him until Athena convinced a jury to acquit him in Athens. Apollo helped as well.”
“Well that makes sense,” Will noted. “They hung over your head. When we first got there, remember?”
“Right,” Nico said. “And we both descended to feast, and hey my we started with larger portions but my father didn’t eat any of his.”
“So we ended with the least,” Will said. “That just leaves what, what pursuit has taught to the beast.”
Nico nodded sagely.
“I’m pretty sure the only beast we really met was Cerberus,” Nico noted. “But did he really pursue us? We didn’t run.”
“I mean he had to run to get us,” Will reasoned. “But you’re right thaat didn’t really teach him anything did it? There was no chase.”
Nico groaned, putting his head in his hands and shaking it. He said a string of phrases in Italian Will didn’t recognize but he could guess they were not polite.
“What?” Will asked his boyfriend. “What is it? Did you figure it out?”
“You’re going to hate this,” Nico muttered. “It’s not life threatening, but Holy Hades you are going to hate this so much.”
“Lay it on me,” Will said grimly.
“Remember how we did like obedience training for Cerberus?” Nico asked, and Will nodded because it had been less than 12 hours ago and had been terrifying. “And remember how I said Annabeth had done something similar?”
“Yeah?” Will asked, cocking his head and not quite getting the point. Nico sighed.
“Annabeth Chase,” Nico repeated. “Chase. Chase? Pursuit? Get it?”
Will let out a loud groan that bordered on an anguished scream. As a son of the god of poetry, that sort of cheap trick was a personal affront. Worse still, it had come from his father’s very own oracle.
“WHAT?” Will bellowed. “That’s it?”
“I said you’d hate it.”
“I’m going to have words with Rachel,” Will muttered. “And my dad. Prophecies are supposed to have tricky double meanings, but in a riddle kind of way. Not stupid wordplay based on two words that are not synonymous! Chase the surname is not the same thing as chase the verb!”
Nico patted his boyfriend on the shoulder.
“Why don’t we go debrief with Chiron?” He asked. “Reassure him we aren’t dead. Maybe grab some hot chocolate before we hit bread.”
“He’s not going to like we drank wine,” Will sighed.
“I think that is one area where Mr. D would be more lenient.”
“Unless he gets jealous.”
“Yeah,” Nico said, threading his hand into Will’s. “Shall we?”
“We shall,” Will replied, and they walked into the future together.