Chapter Text
I was raised as an Atreides. Duke Leto and his wife Lady Jessica had been presented with a child, a girl with dark hair and green eyes, by Duncan Idaho with a plea to help him hide the child and raise her. Ducan had been unwilling to give any information about the child besides that she was his responsibility and he wanted the best for her. The best was being under the protection of House Atreides. Lady Jessica had sensed the power of the Bene Gesserit within the child and agreed to raise her as her own; it would be easier to pass off the babe as her own when the girl would show as much promise as Lady Jessica. Their son Paul had hazel eyes, it wouldn’t be hard to pass the girl off as his sister, green eyes were close to hazel and she had the same dark curls that Paul had when he was first born. They named the girl Haven.
When Paul and I were old enough they told us the truth, Duncan was my brother and Paul and I had to keep that a secret, that we were not truly siblings. Leto and Jessica spoiled me, I was allowed to train with Paul in all his studies as well as being able to roam the lands unimpeded. I was taught to fly by Duncan, Paul was never taught to fly the little planes but Duncan would sneak me out at night and show me. Duncan made a point to train me in any way that he could think of so that I was not helpless like most high born ladies. Paul and I were equally matched in strength with swords and knives but I was faster because I was shorter. I was mostly muscle but still maintained the womanly curves that I had caught Paul glancing at more than once when he thought my attention was elsewhere.
Once we hit our teen years things changed between Paul and I. Paul started flirting with me whenever he could, Leto and Jessica did not discourage him. Leto thought it was cute, I was raised as a lady and what better person for his son to fall for than their most trusted adopted daughter. Jessica taught me how to flirt back, to tease him without giving myself away. Smiling at him when he was passing me in the hall or blowing small kisses that no one else could see. A light touch to his arm or my fingers through his curls when I passed by him. She taught me how to use my body to sway a man and Paul was who I practiced all my new skills on. Paul and I danced around each other constantly trying to make the other blush without any real thought of future consequences. As we continued our teasing and flirting I could feel a crush forming. Paul and I would hold each other close when we practiced our dancing, Jessica watched with a soft smile as Paul would twirl me and I would giggle every time he dipped me.
Jessica taught me how to see the past and future. I had strong powers but she did everything within her power to make me stronger. She had told me about her suspicions about Paul being part of a prophecy and how the Reverend Mother would some day come to test Paul. She made Paul and I promise to only use the Voice on each other in training or in case of emergencies, to save each other's lives. While Paul always struggled with the Voice I had mastered it almost immediately. Where Paul had potentially prophetic dreams I saw all possible futures in my dreams. I had been hidden from the Bene Gesserit, they of course knew of the female child of Duke Leto and Lady Jessica but Jessica had never reached out to inform them I had the Voice.
Things took a dramatic turn when Leto was assigned as the new Duke of Arrakis.
This is where our story starts.
The morning started like any other. I laid in my bed staring at the changing colors of the sky after having been awoken from a dream of a possible future. The sands of Arrakis played in my mind, Paul stood among them and behind him the world was on fire. In front of him had been a beautiful woman close in age and part of the native population. As the sun began to rise a storm rolled in on Caladan, early morning storms were common and I could sense Paul in the wing across the long hallway stirring from a dream the way I had as the distant thunder reached my ears. I dressed moderately in cotton pants and a loose shirt and allowed the floating light to follow me as I set out into the foothills to breath the damp air that I would soon be missing. It was peaceful in the rain, quiet in a way that it only could be during a storm. I was home, I was safe, and for one of the last moments of my life I was safe.
When the rain began to leech the warmth from my skin I headed back towards my room, where I was greeted with a fresh dry set of clothes that Mother deemed appropriate day wear for a lady. I dried myself and braided my dark waves to hide their dampness before I pulled on the simple dress. It was gray, the same color that Mother was probably wearing and while hers would cover her shoulders and neck entirely mine dipped to my chest slightly and rested halfway down my shoulders. Most of my long sleeved dresses had bare shoulders, I ran hotter in temperature than anyone else and needed the cool air on my skin to keep me comfortable. I joined Mother and Paul for breakfast. Paul and I sat opposite each other in the middle of the table while mother sat at one end. Paul rubbed his foot against mine lightly. He had stopped being openly affectionate with me; his flirting was kept to a minimum when our parents were present.
“It’s good you’re up early. Father wants you in full dress before the Emperor’s Herald arrives.” Mother informed both of us but her eyes were on Paul. I had been trained for these moments.
“Full dress?” Paul asked, his eyes meeting mine before they turned to look at our mother. “Military?”
“Ceremonial.” Mother answered.
Paul sighed as he served himself more food. “Why do we have to go through all this when it’s already been decided?”
“Ceremony.” Mother and I said at the same time.
Paul’s mouth quivered slightly at the sound of my voice. He always told me it was like music even when I was shouting in anger. I spoke so rarely in the company of others that to hear me was a gift according to him.
Mother had poured three glasses of water, she handed me one as Paul thanked her.
“If you want it, make me give it to you.” She said as she sipped her own water. “Use the Voice.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Mom, I just woke up.” Paul complained.
When Mother did not move or say anything else he focused his gaze on the cup.
“Give me the water.”
“The glass can’t hear you. Command me.” she paused. “Or your sister.”
“There would be no challenge there Mother. We both know Paul need only ask and I would hand him my water without a second thought. I would not struggle to command you to give me another.” I sighed.
I hated when she acted this way. I could put force behind his command if I wanted to but Mother would know I had helped. Paul tired again. Mother’s hand raised but fell as she snapped out of the command. She waited a moment before she pushed the glass towards Paul.
“Almost.”
“Almost?” He asked in disbelief.
“Bene Gesserit skills take years to learn Paul.”
“And yet Haven has more power than you.” He pointed out.
I shot Paul a dirty look but his eyes had focused elsewhere.
“You look tired.” Mother ignored the comment. “More dreams?”
We both knew the answer to that. Mother could sometimes sense them but I almost always knew. I was sometimes even brought into the worst of them.
“No.” He lied.
We finished breakfast in silence. Mother knew when to stop pushing and I kept my mouth shut about his dishonesty. Something Paul knew I would call him on once we were alone. Paul got a reprieve from our mother as she and I had our morning training after breakfast. We had a routine of this once a month but with the ceremony upon us she wanted to ensure that I was strong enough to watch my surroundings and to keep my mind blocked.
I found my brother in his room, a book in his hand and a projection of Arrakis playing all the information we had learned after the exchange of power had been decided.
“Why did you lie to your mother?” I asked as I stepped further into the room.
“I didn’t.”
“Yes you did Paul. I felt you this morning. I know you had another dream. Was it the girl?”
Paul turned to look at me, standing as he did. He approached me with gentle steps, like he was approaching a wild animal.
“Oh Haven, my sweet sweet Haven. You know you’re the only girl I need in my life.” He said with a soft smirk as I backed away from him.
I knew this game he was playing. He wanted to fluster me so that I stopped asking him questions he did not want to answer. He loved to be in my personal space, affection from him was something I only accepted occasionally. Fear that I would grow too attached to him when either one of us could be married off for political gain.
“Do not lie to me Paul. I know your heart better than you do.” My back hit the wall.
“Feel my heart and tell me I was lying.” He grabbed my hand.
He forced me to place it over his heart while he placed his other hand on the wall next to my head, pinning me in place. His head dipped so his nose grazed my neck. Paul had never kissed me, both of us constantly fighting the desire when we were alone. When I continued my silence he turned so that his mouth was against my ear. I shivered as his breath ghosted down my neck.
“You were made for me, Haven. You will be the woman I marry, who will grow round with my children. You will be a true Atreides when it is time for me to take a wife. You are my other half. The missing part of my soul. You are my everything.”
He placed his lips below my ear softly before a knock on his door had him shifting away from me with a look of annoyance on his face.
“Come in.” He shouted as his eyes followed me to the door.
A few attendants ready to help Paul with his ceremonial garbs.
This conversation is not over. I warned him.
His hungry gaze fell on me as my words whispered through his mind. Paul loved feeling my powers when he least expected it. He was not power hungry but he loved the idea of having a powerful wife.
I found my own attendants waiting in my room with a silvery blue dress. Mother stood in her own dress of the same color. Once again her dress covered every part of her with sheer fabric covering her arms and collar. Her hair was braided and up in a bun with more of the same sheer fabric wrapped around her hair. My dress had thin straps that gathered in the middle of my chest. Layers of the same sheer fabric fell to my feet and in a train behind me, the dress itself clung to my curves as the sheer sleeves billowed down from the middle of my arms giving the effect of wings. My hair was parted and styled so that half of my waves fell down my back with pearls and gems pinned into the braided bun that mimicked my mothers. I had a makeshift crown of chains and pearls that rested in my hair with one larger pearl resting in the middle of my forehead.
I followed behind my mother as we began our procession to line up on display for the Emperor's Herald. Paul and Father looked incredible in their black dress clothes. Paul’s hair was parted and slicked down. If I hadn’t been on full display I would have blushed at the thought of his words to me only an hour ago. I could feel his gaze on me as I passed him to stand at his side furthest from Father. I followed Paul’s gaze towards the sky as a round silver ship grew larger as it approached us. I steeled my mind as Mother had taught me as the ship landed and the Imperial entourage began to disembark. I could feel the probing in my mind as I saw the black robed woman step off the ship. I could hear Father telling Gurney to smile and then asking about the cost of this trip but I could not hear the answer. The Herald bowed to Father and Father nodded to him in turn.
“By the grace of Shaddam IV of House Corrino, ascendant to the Golden Lion Throne of Padish Emperor of the Known Universe, I stand before you as Herald of the Change. We are witnessed by members of the Imperial Court, representatives of the Spacing Guild, and a sister of the Bene Gesserit. The Emperor had spoken.”
He opened the scroll that he held.
“House Atreides shall immediately take control of Arrakis and serve as its steward.”
He looked at father again.
“Do you accept?”
Father stepped forward. “We are House Atreides. There is no call we do not answer, there is no faith that we betray, The Emperor asks us to bring peace to Arrakis. House Atreides accepts.”
The crowd began chanting our last name as Father walked down the steps and signed the scroll that would forever change our lives. If I had known what it would cost us I never would have let him place his seal on the paper.
It was later that night that Duncan knocked on my door. I had known that he was leaving in the morning with the advanced team for Arrakis but we so rarely saw each other outside of training that I wasn’t sure I would get to say goodbye to my brother.
“Paul tells me that he’s been having dreams. Dreams where I find the Fremen and where I end up dead. Is there a reason to be worried?” He asked once he was sure that we were alone.
“Paul has been having many dreams.” I answered.
“Do I die in all of yours too? Is that why you won’t look at me sister?” I turned to face him.
“I have seen the end of many people on Arrakis. I have seen the nightmares where Paul finds you dead. I have seen his dreams where you find the Fremen as well. I am worried about you Duncan. I do not want to lose the only blood I have.”
“You won’t lose me Haven, you know I am too stubborn to die.” Duncan ruffled my hair. “I would never leave my precious sister alone in the world.”
“You might not have a choice.” I whispered into his shoulder as I pulled him into a hug.
“What would people say if they found out the damn near mute daughter of House Atreides was such a sentimental soft hearted girl?” He teased me.
“They would all die of shock and there would be no one to rule.” I smiled at him. “He means to marry me, you know.” I said as I moved away from my brother.
“Who? Paul?”
“He says I am the missing part of his soul. We are a matching set.” I rolled my eyes.
“And would you marry him?”
“I wouldn’t have a choice, not really.”
“If that is not what you want I will do anything and everything to help you escape that fate.”
“We are nothing without the Atreides, Dunc.”
“We could be Fremen.”
“They would not be so willing to accept us, not as we are.”
“What if I could make them accept you?”
“Don’t do anything stupid Dunc. There is time before Paul can even make a real claim.”
There was a pregnant pause before Duncan cleared his throat.
“Keep yourself safe until you’re back where I can keep an eye on you.”
“Yes sir.” I smiled as I closed my door behind him.
My dreams were once again of the sands of Arrakis. The dunes glittered with spice, Paul stood in front of me half turned towards me and half towards the Fremen girl. I felt flames behind me and war, past the Fremen girl. I sensed Mother in the war, she played a role in it.
I woke up with a start, far earlier than I should be. My dressing gown was almost sheer and far shorter than Mother would ever want me to be seen in, stopping mid thigh. When I stepped out of my room I allowed my senses to open to the rest of the house so that I could avoid being seen. I followed the tug of Paul’s dream to his room. He was fast asleep as I curled up against his back between him and the wall. His presence helped to calm my nerves. He rolled over to face me. He pulled me into his chest and pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead. His unconscious mind overly aware of my presence.
He never asked why I climbed into his bed, he knew that I sought him out at night when I had had nightmares. His breathing evened out again and I allowed myself to drift off to sleep. Paul was safe in a way that Duncan couldn’t be. Paul was the acceptable protector in the eyes of everyone who knew us. I could never be caught in Duncan’s room, people would assume the worst. So Paul, the boy I had been harboring feelings for most of my life, was the only real comfort I could allow myself when I needed to feel safe.
I knew I was in Paul’s dream when I saw myself standing next to the Fremen girl through his eyes. I was smiling and laughing with her, we were friends in his dreams, not on opposite ends of Paul’s life. The sun kissed my hair, copper undertones shining. My eyes tinted blue the same way the Fremen girl’s eyes were blue. In his dream we had been there for some time.
My dream ended as I sensed the Reverend Mother land in the woods outside our home. I felt Mother as she walked silently into Paul’s room, her fear as she saw us curled up together like we had as children. Her fear for Paul. I lifted my head ready to open my mouth but she shook her head, she did not want me to be a part of whatever was about to happen.
“Paul.” she said softly. “Paul wake up.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked groggily.
“Get dressed and come with me.” Mother said before she exited the room.
Paul looked to me for answers but I had none. I sat in his bed with my back to the wall and knees to my chest as Paul got dressed. I waited until I was sure that they were far enough away before I slipped out and followed behind them. I stayed hidden behind a wall as I watched Mother talk to Paul in hushed tones, Dr. Yueh stood faced away from them. I waited as Yueh checked Paul’s vitals.
Mother sighed, tell no one of this.
She only signed when she wanted no one to know she was speaking. She had taught Paul and I how to understand and sign back when we were learning to speak. We had learned several languages. Paul and Mother walked out of view, I knew it was useless to try and follow them now. I sat in the dark and reached out to Paul to try and see through his eyes. All I sensed was pain. I pulled away from him and back into my own mind. But not before I pushed some of the pain away from his mind and bid him to find me when he was done. I made it to my room before Paul forced his thoughts into my head, on purpose or not. I saw the fire, the sand on Arrakis, a hand with a blade in it.
Then it was gone. My mind was silent.
Paul sought me out later, anger coursed through his veins. Anger towards Mother. He said nothing, just rested his head in my lap and dragged my hand to his curls. I rubbed his head until he fell asleep. He had no dreams this time but I was unable to sleep with the memory of the pain he had experienced. Pain I had pulled into myself to save him.