Chapter Text
From the Desk of Arkady Kolcheck
To My Very Large Friend:
I know you found mystery vodka bottle on your boat. I know you are curious about it. I know you think I left it because you made G call to ask.
I also know you lock boat. But you do not lock boat well.
Yes. I borrowed boat. It was life and death situation, you see. It was emergency, I promise. I am honorable man and would never borrow boat for fun.
I only had it for one hour. Possibly two. Six at the most. (My memory is not so good at this age.)
I did not drink vodka when driving. It was for nerves about emergency situation.
Boat is fine, but most importantly, I am fine. I know you worry.
Next time, I will ask. As a thank you, I am enclosing the copy of boat key I made and nice keychain I bought for it. To show you I am honorable. (Advice from friend: do not keep spare keys on boat. Even in safe.)
I am also sending captain’s cap I bought. It is nice for very sunny days. I hope you enjoy.
Otis is good secret keeper and bad security guard. I recently had 50 fish sent back to me. I have sent them with key and cap. Please share with him as thank you gift.
Thank you for being friend,
Arkady Kolcheck, Pal and Confidant