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‘So you got the part uh.’ Eddie raised his eyebrows at Buck with a small smirk on his face. ‘And here I thought we were casting talented people, our standards have gone down apparently.’
‘Hey, I’m only here because Bobby was telling me how dire the situation was. I mean, we’ve got Karen as the lead when you and I know this is supposed to be a firefighter charity show, and last I’ve heard Karen is a scientist, not a firefighter.” Buck smirked back. ‘So, who are you playing? Toulouse? Should match your puny height.’
‘I’m on the crew team thank you very much. I’ll be the one shining the lights on your ugly face. It’s a shame you had to be cast as Christian, I say the less I see of you the better.’ Eddie hip checked Buck slightly and cracked a smile when Buck gasped in an offended tone.
‘Ugly face? Really Eddie, you’re so bitter you can’t sing and dance you have to revert to physical insults? I thought you were better than that, I really did. Think of the example you’re setting for your son.’
‘Me? Can't dance? Oh Buck, you’ll regret those words.’
‘Wanna go for the title?’ Buck tilted his face and moved even closer in Eddie’s personal space. Their eyes locked and something passed in Eddie’s, a look he couldn’t quite decipher, a moment so fleeting he almost thought he’d imagined it. His best friend was about to say something back, Buck’s gaze drawn to his lips forming around words when a shout broke whatever moment and tension was happening between them.
‘Buck, Eddie, stop bickering. Buck move your ass on stage we need to rehearse Come What May .’ Hen threw a dark look to the both of them, hiding away in a corner of the room the LAFD had rented for the occasion.
The charity gala was something they did yearly, but every year the station in charge of organising the gala would change, and with that change so would the theme. Buck had no idea why Chief Alonzo thought it was a good idea to showcase a musical instead of the usual hand shaking and poorly hidden begging for money from the wealthy attendants. Buck also had no idea why the 118 had been chosen for that task because, as far as he knew, no one from their station had a background in musical theatre. Sure, Chim had worked in a karaoke bar and must have heard awful interpretations of Heathers or Defying Gravity , and there was Bobby’s weird past in ice skating but other than that no one really knew what they were doing. Thankfully they had been allowed to request help from their families, Karen, the only properly trained singer of their makeshift family, thus getting the role of Satine, or Maddie taking charge of the ‘costume department’. He still wasn’t sure how he landed the male lead role but Bobby, as the director, had been adamant, Buck would be Christian and Chimney would be the Duke. Buck had been glad that Maddie had decided to remain off stage, no matter how much she enjoyed singing, he had been repeatedly told that her and Chimney going to a karaoke bar was her favourite date night, the idea of singing a love song to his sister was sending chills in his back.
Buck shot a smile at Eddie and ran up the three small steps and took his place on stage. He looked around but couldn’t see Karen anywhere. Sensing his confusion, Buck assumed, Hen shot him a comforting but slightly tense smile.
‘Karen couldn’t make it today, we might be off shift but she needed to go to the lab.’
‘You’ll just have to rehearse your parts in the song alone and we’ll practise later on with her next time we have rehearsals.’ Bobby added.
‘You want me to sing a duet alone?’ Buck asked bewildered. ‘Shouldn’t I practise Your Song instead? It’s a solo, I can sing it without Karen. Plus, it’s way easier than Come What May .’
‘Yeah exactly.’ Bobby agreed too quickly, too easily. ‘You may not have any theatre background but we all know you can sing, we can actually hear you when you sing in the showers, no matter what you think. And I know I’ve heard you sing Elton John before, so you’ve got this for Your Song , for Come What May though? I’m sure you need all the practice you can get.’
‘Isn’t the point of the song beautiful harmonies? How am I supposed to practise my harmony if I can’t tell if I can do it while someone else is singing?’ Buck tilted his head in confusion. ‘Can’t you find a placeholder for Karen to sing Satine’s parts while she’s at work?’
‘Well…’ Hen seemed reluctant to say anything. ‘I can’t sing for shits, you can’t sing it with Maddie for obvious reasons, Bobby’s range won’t match the song, and he’s the director.’
‘What are you saying then?’
‘Well, Eddie can sing it one octave below Satine’s harmony and I’m sure it would still work for you to practise singing in harmonies.’ Her smile was apologetic and Buck knew exactly why, not two weeks earlier had he confessed to Hen that he was irrevocably in love with his best friend. That was his luck. Well, might as well act as if nothing was amiss.
‘Hey Eddie?’ Buck shouted. ‘Apparently we’re going to finally see who’s better? Wanna sing with me?’ He aimed for a relaxed tone of voice and hoped it didn’t convey his nerves and stress. Was he really about to sing a love song, a duet, with his best friend, whom he loved deeply? Apparently so.
Eddie shook his head with amusement but dragged himself on the stage next to Buck, grabbing a sheet of lyrics from Bobby.
‘Ready?’ Eddie murmured. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.’
Eddie had the nerve to wink at him but Buck couldn’t help but smile at him.
‘Yeah? And I’ve got yours.’ He murmured back.
The music started playing, on this shitty speaker Hen had brought with her until the professional material arrived at the venue. They didn’t have any mics yet anyway, so at least with the speaker they would actually be able to hear themselves sing.
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Buck started singing, his eyes barely opened, focused on actually sounding good, not wanting to disappoint anyone. And yes, wanting to impress Eddie at least a little.
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Buck knew he had to play the part of Christian, so he raised his head higher and looked straight into Eddie’s eyes.
Listen to my heart
Can't you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change
Winter to spring
But I love you
Until the end of time
That was his first mistake.
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day
He simply couldn’t look away. And then, Eddie started singing and he was gone.
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
They had joked about competing to see who the best singer, who the best dancer was, but all Buck could think right now was, HOW? How had he been the one casted to play Christian when this man in front of him, not only could sing but could convey such emotions in his voice. He was in such awe he almost forgot to join in.
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you
I love you
Until the end of time
His second mistake was thinking he would be unaffected by Eddie singing the words ‘I love you’ to his face. He was sure his face was on fire and he was stuttering his words, or singing them completely off key.
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
I will love you
I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Buck just couldn’t take it anymore, he had to get out of here, he had to leave this place, this moment that seemed stuck outside the earthly plane, this moment that seemed to defy time and space, that seemed to destroy everything he knew. He looked into Eddie’s eyes and he could see so much love, so much fondness, so much adoration. And it destroyed him, because Eddie was acting, he was playing a part and all he wanted was to see those eyes every single day for the rest of his life.
Come what may
(Come what may)
Come what may
(Come what may)
I will love you
Until my dying day
Buck ran off the stage, pretexting needing a break and fresh air, not bothering to wait for Hen’s and Bobby’s approval or feedback on the song. He just needed to escape Eddie’s brown eyes like yesterday.
But of course, the plague of them being best friends meant Eddie followed him outside not a minute later, sitting down on the curb next to him, bumping him slightly with his elbow.
‘What are you thinking about? And don’t tell me nothing, I know you.’ Eddie asked softly, as if to not disturb the peace. For a while the only sounds they could hear were the faint noises of LA’s traffic, with its rumbling motors and piercing honks.
‘You don’t want to know.’ Buck answered, barely hearing the words over the sound of his beating heart.
‘Of course I want to know, I always want to know what you’re thinking about.’ Eddie answered, still as softly, taking Buck’s hand in his own, gripping it slightly as if to emphasise his words.
Buck huffed and shook his head. ‘You don’t want to know.’ He repeated, letting some of his desperation creep in his voice, turning his face towards Eddie’s, hoping to convey something with his eyes, something that would make Eddie finally back away.
‘Please.’ Buck couldn’t take it, he couldn’t listen to Eddie’s voice matching his own torment, he couldn’t look into his best friend’s eyes and see this swirl of confusion and hurt, yet he couldn’t move, couldn’t stand up and flee, couldn’t look away, and he couldn’t resist his plea.
‘I wish…’ He started before his voice was caught in a sob.
‘Hey, it’s just me. You can tell me anything, Buck.’ Eddie squeezed his hand once more.
‘That’s just it Eddie, it’s you. It’s always been you. And I wish, I’ve wished for years at this point but it doesn’t matter what I wish.’ Buck knew he was being cryptic but he couldn’t bring himself to fully confess, he couldn’t bring himself to say the words he was singing minutes earlier.
‘Of course your wishes matter, Buck.’ Eddie’s face was tilted in confusion and Buck couldn’t be more in love.
‘Not if they ruin this, not if they ruin us.’
‘Nothing couldn’t ever ruin us, not after everything we’ve been through.’
‘You don’t understand.’ Buck shook his head, confessing was proving to be an even more difficult task if Eddie was hell-bent on not understanding what he was trying to say.
‘Then tell me. Please Buck tell me.’
‘ I will love you until my dying day , that’s what we sang to each other. Except you were just singing a random duet with your best friend to help him rehearse, whereas I meant it. I’ve been meaning it and I’ll probably mean it for the rest of my life. I love you, and not like a brother or a work pattern on whom I have to rely, I am in love with you.’ Buck took a deep breath, now that the words were coming out nothing seemed to be able to stop them. He looked at the floor to give himself the strength to continue. ‘I look at you and I see my future, I see breakfasts in your home, our home, after lazing in bed, I see picking up Christopher from school together, I see helping him do his homework until the day he decides he’s too old for the help from his dads, I see being a dad to him, being more than a backup plan if you die, I see PTA meetings, I see date nights, restaurants and bars, I see movie nights at home cuddling with Chris, I see recuperating from a 24 or a 48 with you. I see my future, and I can only ever dream of you looking at me and seeing your future too.’
‘ It’s in my will if I die, you become Christopher’s guardian. There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you. I said that to you, after the shooting and the tsunami and after everything you think I don’t look at you and see my future, you think I don’t look at you and see my present?’ Eddie grabbed Buck’s chin and forced him to look into his eyes. ‘You think I don’t look at you everyday and think ‘I love this man’? You think I don’t look at you everyday and see my son’s second father?’
Eddie leaned in, stopping inches away from Buck’s lips. ‘Can I?’ He murmured, so close that Buck could feel his breaths meeting his own.
Buck nodded so fast that their noses bumped into each other, making them both huff softly.
Eddie finally crossed the distance and Buck wished he could describe it as magical, as stars imploding and coming back to life, as fireworks, as butterflies, but no, it was simply like coming home. Even Eddie’s taste seemed familiar.
‘I love you.’ Buck gasped at the exact same moment Eddie sighed ‘I love you.’ in the most adoring tone Buck had ever heard, a tone usually reserved to Christopher.
Everything else didn’t matter, the intricacies of moving in with one another, the details of the HR paperwork, the way they would tell Christopher first, then the rest of the team, nothing mattered at this moment but the love they had for each other, until their dying days. Come What May .