Chapter Text
[ODIN, sung]
It’s…a…
Void-calling journey
An eldritch hole-wormy
A void-calling journey, come on
A train to find ’em
To bring them to Midgard
An enormous eldritch-type squid
With the gold and the bismuth, it reflects their hues
Spotlight on Mrs. Cthulhu
So punch your new ticket
Your mind’s broke, this’ll fix it
For you
[LOKI, spoken]
Odin, please, if they find us, they will kill us!
[ODIN, sung]
A void-calling journey
Is something you die for
A real spooky sung-by-gods tune
An arcana-based train
That runs on blood and your pain
An engine to meet those eldritch gods soon
It’ll empower Asgard with its ending of worlds
No escape from this horrific doom
So stab in that needle
Got a terrible evil
From you
[ODIN, spoken]
This train’s pretty cool, huh? I bet you didn’t know I was also an engineer. In fact, while I’ve been ruling Asgard, I’ve also been building my own railroad tracks.
…Do you mind if I show you the route?
[LOKI, spoken]
We don't have time—
[THOR, spoken]
Fuckin' go for it!
[ODIN, spoken]
It’s called the Ratatosk Express: a new train line. It’s a route between the Nine Worlds. Sure, they’re “independent” from “Asgardian colonialism”. Still, they’ll fall back in line, once I reduce travel time with this wormhole. But the Asgardian treasury will never approve such an expensive project.
…Or will they?
This here was my initial pitch!
[ODIN, sung]
The void calls, I’m stuck in this eldritch dream
What is this singing?
Colors are flashing and all I can see is their gleam
I’ll make a new scheme
I’ll take a bold new step
So I can meet with Azathoth
And Shub-Niggurath
And Nyarlathotep
And Suc’Naath
And Ialdagorth
And
Yog-Sothoth
[ODIN, spoken]
Twoodle-oo.
A flute pipes.
I listen to it.
“Oh, hey, Azathoth. I’m swamped…with meetings. Collateral, interest...loan deferment. Remember those days in the starry void, Azathoth? Last night feels like ages ago.
"What? I don’t need permission to get funds for the Ratatosk? I’m the All-Mother and can build any train I want? Quick access to the void, eh, Azathoth? It’ll just be you…and me…and Shub-Niggurath…and Nyarlathotep…and Suc’Naath…and Ialdagorth…and
Yog-Sothoth
.
“A three-day trip. I’ll see you then, Azathoth. I’ll see you then.”
[ODIN, sung]
I’ll take a bold new step
So I can meet with Shub' and—
The first launch can’t come soon enough
The first launch can’t come soon enough
The first launch can’t come soon enough
I can’t wait to meet these Outer Gods
A void-calling journey
An eldritch hole-wormy
An engine to control them all
We’ll bend them to our rule, with this locomotive
We’ll destroy any rebel-filled town
Resistance is futile
This train is our new tool, bow down
[AZATHOTH, spoken]
Hey, Odin.
[ODIN, spoken]
Azathoth! Is that really you?
[LOKI, spoken]
Odin, no! The Outer Gods will drive you mad!
[AZATHOTH, spoken]
Been a long time…
[YOG-SOTHOTH, spoken]
Hey there, wanna fight some Midgardian resistance?
[ODIN, spoken]
Yog-Sothoth! You haven’t aged a day!
Has it been three days already? It must be!
[AZATHOTH, spoken]
Come on, Odin. We’ve got some rebellions to topple.
[ODIN, AZATHOTH, and YOG-SOTHOTH]
The void calls, I’m stuck in this eldritch dream
What is this singing?
The first launch can’t come soon enough
The first launch can’t come soon enough
The first launch can’t come soon enough
I can’t wait to meet these
Outer Gods…