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The short tale of N and his body pillow

Summary:

N loved his new body pillow, it was super comfy, fun to cuddle, and a great seat for when Uzi came over. But after she got her scent on it, he started to have new feelings for his body pillow.

After a machine that can make body prints is found by the colony, N finds a new way to express himself with the pillow. It's just a shame that the body prints tear so easily.

But when the machine goes missing, Uzi needs to find out just who stole it and why with Thad's help.

 

--
Prompt: "I like to think that n has a body pillow, but not for any sexual reasons, but purely bc he's just that much of a cuddler
and then it turns sexual once he gets an Uzi print case"

So, I read this in a Discord chat and my brain went, "I need to make these people suffer from the funny thought it brought up," then they convinced me to make others suffer as well. Enjoy this madness!

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Uzi was having a good day, she finally convinced the colony to let N live inside the doors!

 

Oh, and V was here too.

 

That was fine...she guessed.

 

“Hey, want to watch some-” she started to ask as she opened the door to the room the Disassembly Drones were in, far away from everyone else. Her question was cut off as she saw the Disassembler on the other side of the door.

 

“Oh.”

 

Her voice, excited moments earlier became a forced indifference as she saw V standing there with a smirk.

 

“So, what were you going to ask me?” She chuckled.

 

“Bite me!” Uzi retorted with a scowl. “Where's N?”

 

Looking around the room, she didn't see him.

 

V rolled her eyes, “He's in his room with his new best friend.”

 

Uzi scoffed, “yeah, yeah. Thanks.”

 

Without another word, and a bit of anxiety, she opened N's door, seeing him sleeping, tail holding his weight, and holding-

 

“The hell?” Uzi asked herself with a raised virtual eyebrow. N was clutching a body pillow to himself. She watched as his visor lit up.

 

“Uzi!” His voice, cheerful, exclaimed as he dropped down, still holding the body pillow close to his body.

 

“How're you?”

 

“Good,” she answered slowly, still confused at the body pillow.

“So, what's that for?”

 

“Oh this?” He held up his body pillow. “Just a pillow I found, really comfy for cuddling!”

 

Uzi didn't realize she was tense until she felt her body relax.

 

It was N, of course he wasn't using it for...she blushed a little at the thought.

 

“Also!” N's voice snapped her out of her thoughts as he dropped the pillow on the ground. “Super comfy to sit on!”

 

He plopped down on it and patted the empty spot next to him. “Oh, and what do you want to do today?”

 

Fighting down her blush, she sat down next to him and pulled out her laptop, “Want to watch some pirated anime with me?”

 

N grinned at her making her feel very special and happy and-

 


 

A few hours later, Uzi was on her way home to stop Khan from messing with her room after calling her to tell her to say he was going to do that.

 

That parenting guidebook was really confusing to N.

 

But if it was good for Mr. Uzi, then N guessed it was fine...

 

To distract himself, he decided to see what Thad was up to.

 

“M and N!” Thad grinned at him, waving him over. “Want to get a free poster? Just got a machine fixed here that can print them out.”

 

N's shoulders drooped, “Aw, I would love one. But I don't have anywhere to put it...V would take it down.”

 

Thad frowned in thought, “Hmm...well, it doesn't have to be a poster, per se. We can make a bunch of stuff like that if you want it. Stuff you wouldn't put up so V can't take it down.”

 

N's eyes widened as a thought came to him, “Oh! I have a big pillow! Can I have something to put that in?”

 

Thad gave him a strange look that N couldn't understand before it vanished, “Sure, sure. We can do that. What do you want?”

 

“Uzi.” The word popped out of his mouth before he thought about it.

 

Thad gave him another strange look for some reason, “...Sure, we can make that. But… why do you want that exactly?”

 

N smiled shyly, “Well, Uzi's not really...touchy-feely. So, she wouldn't want to cuddle with me, but I like cuddling things and people I like when I sleep.”

 

N watched as Thad relaxed, “Yeah, sure thing dude. Give me a minute.”

 


 

N stared at his pillow.

 

Sure, he loved the fluffy thing before...but looking at it now?

 

That machine made a good print case for the pillow.

 

His fingers slowly and gingerly reached out and touched the pillow, before bringing it in closer to himself. He blushed as he took in the remnants of Uzi's scent on it.

 

Something new was happening to N, he was starting to feel something he hasn't felt outside of his dreams as he let out a growl and started thrusting his hips into the pillow.

 

V opened the door, “Hey, do we have any oil or do we-”

 

She stared at N with a shocked expression before it turned to disgust, “I knew you loved that pillow too much.”

 

Uzi was confused.

 

N's been acting strange for the past few weeks, insisting they watch anime in his room while she lies on his pillow.

 

Strangely enough, it was like he was watching her more than the anime...not that she was watching him!

 

But now was not the time to think about N, and she wasn't sure why she was thinking of him right now even when she was almost constantly thinking of him now.

 

But right now was really a bad time to think about him.

 

Someone had stolen a machine that prints out posters, blueprints, and print cases.

 

The question was, why? It was free for everyone to use. Why steal what you can get for free?

 

“Has anyone printed anything strange lately?” She asked Thad, who was unofficially in charge of the machine since he used it the most.

 

“Hmm...” he frowned, “Not really. The teach asked for dull motivational posters...his exact words, your dad wanted to print out his blueprints and make door-related posters,”

 

Uzi groaned a little bit even as he continued, “N wanted all that...uh, stuff of you, Lizzy wanted-”

 

“Wait, N wanted what?” She asked confused.

 

Thad blushed, “He said he wanted print cases to put his pillow in to cuddle. At first, it wasn't anything much, but then he asked for you in different poses.”

 

“Poses?” Uzi felt her blush cover a good percent of her visor. “What kind of poses?”

 

“Well, he wanted some of you smiling, one of you with your railgun, one with you in a ‘butt-kicking pose.’ Oh, that last one is a direct quote.”

 

Uzi felt her blush somehow increase, “Uh...wow. I...was not expecting that.”

 

She shook her head, “Whatever! I-I can deal with that later! I just need to find out who stole the device!”

 

She let out a near-hysterical laugh as she tried to clear her mind of this new info, “Besides, not like N stole it.”

 

She laughed some more, not wanting to think about what she just imagined anymore.

 


 

N's eyelights were shut as he thrust into the pillow again, thanks to their many anime nights, the pillow had a very good scent - a good mix of Uzi's and N's.

 

He panted a little bit, “Oh, yeah.”

 

Through his head-eyes, he still had a good view of the pillow, and the picture of Uzi plastered on it, as well as the other Uzi's he printed out - blushing Uzi's, Uzi's in various states of undressing, a blushing Uzi wearing only panties...actually he had a few of those.

 

The machine was really not the best at making durable body prints. Good thing he made so many and had the access to make as many more as he wanted.

 

He shivered at the thought of the next pose he would print out, but that thought was buried as he leaned down, trapping the picture of Uzi's lips in his own and moaned into them as he felt himself grow closer to release.

 

Yeah, he definitely had no regrets about this.

 


 

Uzi was getting annoyed, she just spoke to the fifth person who claimed to know nothing.

 

Nothing. At least now she had another reason to hate J, since Eldritch!J killed all the detectives and now she was stuck with the job.

 

She let out a groan, “Damn it! We're getting nowhere! No one saw anything, the cameras were all facing the wrong way long enough for the thief to steal it, and we've got nothing!” She kicked the wall.

 

Thad gave her a sympathetic glance, “How about you ask N? Y'know since he was made for hunting us, might be able to help us get to the bottom of this.”

 

Uzi blushed, still remembering what Thad told her earlier, “Nonono! We can solve this ourselves!”

 


 

N felt his member tense up even more as he let out a moan, releasing deactivated nanites out of him as a powerful spray that coated the body print's lower half.

 

N took a few vents as he let himself collapse onto the pillow, both relishing this and cursing this for not being the real Uzi.

 


 

Uzi growled, scaring away a few nearby workers, but just making Thad chuckle. “I really don't think we're going to solve this, ‘Zi. The thief either knew how to mess with the schedule to steal it without being caught or-”

 

“Or was too fast and waited for just the right moment,” Uzi finished.

 

Thad nodded, “Yeah, so maybe we should get N here. Cause if we get V, then I think we might have a few more problems to deal with.”

 

Uzi nodded slowly, making sure to keep her visor facing away from him to hide the blush, “Yeah...I'll go get him.”

 

“I can do that if you want,” Thad offered.

 

“No, I...I think I need to go...ask him a few things,” she said.

 

He nodded in understanding and watched as she walked off.

 


 

V was annoyed.

 

She knew what N was doing at least three times a day now and she was getting sick of it.

 

She actually wished he and Uzi just screwed for real, at least then they could do this in places where she wouldn't have to keep smelling N's nanites or hear him grunting into the pillow.

 

Urgh, so gross. Maybe she should ask for a new room?

 

Just then, Uzi opened the door, “I need to talk to N.”

 

V, with a deadpan expression pointed at his room, “In there. Just leave me out of whatever nonsense this is.”

 

Uzi blinked in surprise at the lack of insults, “Umm...ok.”

 

“And try to snap him out of this...or make him do this somewhere else.”

 

Uzi…was not sure how to respond to that and just nodded. Uzi opened the door, and her eyes went wide with shock. She wasn’t sure what shocked her the most, N mounting a pillow with her visage on it, or the body prints around the room with holes around the mouth or more intimate areas, and it looked like it was from overuse.

 

“U-Uzi!” N stopped what he was doing and stared at her in shock, “I-I was…uh…” his eyes darted back and forth as he tried to come up with something to say.

 

“N, what the hell is going on?” Uzi’s voice was a little more high-pitched than normal.

 

“Well…” they had equal blushes on their respective visors.

 

“Did you steal the machine to just keep making these?” She asked. “How…how many have you made?”

 

Somehow his blush grew, “I…stopped counting after sixty.”

 

“SIXTY?!” She shouted.

 

N flinched, “Well, they give out really quickly when you use them for…yeah.”

 

“But…why?” She didn’t understand, it couldn’t be for the reason she thought it was for.

 

“Well, I like you…a lot,” N said. “I know it’s too much, and I’m sorry, but I just like you too much and I don’t want to bother you with them and-”

 

Uzi interrupted him, “You…like me…like that?” Her blush increased.

 

“Yeah, and-”

 

“Do you…do you want to try it for real?” Somehow, they hadn’t reached maximum blush settings until this moment.

 


 

Almost two hours later, Uzi and N were still going at it when a message popped up on her visor from Thad. “Fuck!”

 

“Yeah, that’s what I’m doing,” N grunted as his pushed himself deeper inside of her. “I got a message from Thad,” she said.

 

The tentacle dick immediately stopped moving. “What does he want?” Uzi had never heard N sound so annoyed before.

 

Uzi opened the message. “Hey Z! Found the thief, it was your dad. Said he saw N making a bunch of weird pictures of you and wanted to put a stop to it.”

 

“Wha?” Uzi blinked. “You didn’t steal the machine?”

 

“The machine’s missing?” N sounded distraught. “What am I going to do without fresh body prints now?” He paused as he realized he said that out loud, “I mean-”

 

“You don’t need that anymore, not when you’ve got the real thing,” Uzi felt the tentacle dick twitch inside her. Uzi smirked, “Want to roleplay being a thief who caught the detective after him?”

 

They were not seen for a few more hours.

 


 

Later, Thad sighed as he walked up to Khan, “Congrats, N won't be making anymore bodyprints.”

 

Khan perked up, only to feel like his processor broke at Thad's next words. “Cause he's now actually screwing Uzi.”

 

Notes:

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed this nonsense! Aren't chaotic Discord thoughts the best?
Also, wrote this in about an hour with very little editing, so apologize for the low quality, but wanted to share it as it was.