Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Thank you for coming today, Mochizuki-san.” Shindou bowed slightly to her as Honami stood up. Their meeting for today was finally over.

"Thank you as well, Shindou-san.” Honami bowed to Shindou as well and then turned to leave. Before she could though, Shindou spoke up.

“Before you leave, may I ask how well you’ve been adjusting to your role as leader?” Honami paused. Not much had changed after they decided to make her the official leader of the band; the work she did was basically the same. Honami felt like that wasn’t a good answer though, but she couldn’t come up with any other  answer.

“It doesn’t feel like much has changed, to be honest…” Honami felt a bit disappointed with her answer, but anything else would be a lie. Shindou nodded and gave her a small smile, comforting her a bit.

“That’s good.” She gave him a quizzical look, one that asked why ? So, he continued, 

“It means you were already more than capable by the time you became the leader.” Honami only seemed to grow more confused as he kept speaking, so Shindou stopped.

“Was I? I never really felt like a leader though…” She was never the one making decisions (They would always talk as a band before anything), and even though she was always in charge of scheduling, she never felt like a leader doing it. Leaders are supposed to be headstrong too, and Honami was the exact opposite of that.

“Well, what do you think it means to be a leader?” Shindou asked. Honami took a moment to process the question, but before she could answer, Shindou looked over at his watch and stood up.

“I’m sorry to cut the conversation short Mochizuki-san, but I have a meeting to attend in a few minutes. I’ll hear your answer the next time we meet.” He thanked her and left quickly, leaving Honami alone in the room. She left soon afterwards, still mulling over the question in her mind. What made her a leader?

Honami felt Saki tug at her arm again, pulling her into the small yet bustling cafe. Voices echoed from every direction while Saki eagerly looked around, admiring the decor and energetic atmosphere. A worker came by quickly, guiding them to a table off to the side and handing both of them a menu.

“Wow, Hona-chan! Look at that parfait!” Saki pointed over to another table, where a pink parfait dressed with strawberries and various other decorations sits as the customer takes photo after photo. Needless to say, the parfait looked absolutely delicious . Saki took another glance at the parfait before turning towards the menu.

“Honami, what are you gonna get?” Saki asked while Honami went over the cafe menu. The menu itself was decorated with a cutesy border, and each of the items had a picture to match.

“Hmmm, I’m not sure…” Honami responded.

“Everything here looks so good! I don’t think I can choose either!” Saki chirped.

“How about we share a few items then?” Honami suggested, to which Saki lit up in glee. Before Honami could say anything, Saki called over the waitress and started ordering. In the middle of her order, Saki glanced over at Honami. Seeing her staring back, she smirked playfully. Once Saki finished ordering, the waitress took their menus and the pair were left waiting.

“Hey, Hona-chan?” Honami looked up at Saki, who gave her a wide smile.

“If you were a dessert, what dessert would you be? Honami gave Saki a quizzical look and took a moment to think. What kind of dessert would she be? It was a weird question, but one that was surprisingly hard to answer.

“I think I’d be a japanese pudding! They’re sweet and cute!” Honami could see that. Something slightly childish, but still full of joy even as you grow older. A perfect dessert to cheer you up after a bad day, just like how Saki’s joy always seems to radiate outwards to everyone around her. 

“I’m not sure what I would be…” Honami mumbled, lost in thought as she debated the question in her head. Honestly, Honami had no reason why she was taking the question so seriously.

“Hmmmm, maybe a cake! They’re-” Before Saki could finish, a waiter came by and dropped off their order. A slew of desserts filled their table, almost covering the admittedly small table. Honami looked at Saki as they both realised they were not going to be able to finish everything.

“Woops.” Saki muttered, drawing a giggle from Honami. Saki soon burst into laughter too as they laughed together. Once they calmed down, they both picked a dessert.

“Why don’t we save some for Ichika-chan and Shiho-chan?” Homami suggested, which was met with a nod from Saki.

“Wow! This parfait is so yummy!” Saki exclaimed as she ate a spoonful of parfait, eyes lighting up with glee. She took no time in devouring the entire thing, but Honami did manage to get a taste of the parfait before it was gone. The tartness of the strawberries contrasted well with the sweet whipped cream and cake, making sure the entire dessert was not too sweet. 

The pie that Honami picked was also very well balanced, the crumbly crust providing a nice texture next to the sweet custard filling inside. As the two girls ate and chatted, Honami kept thinking back to Saki’s answer. Shindou’s question popped into her head all of a sudden.

“Hey, Saki-chan?” Saki momentarily stopped her speed eating to look at Honami, tilting her head, as if telling Honami to go ahead and ask her question.

“Why do you think I would be a cake?” Honami’s question made Saki pause. She closed her eyes and put her hand to her chin, making a humming noise. Saki was clearly thinking. 

“I guess it’s because they’re comforting… I mean, cake has to be there for a celebration, right? It’s consistent and always there for you.” Saki rambled out, pausing every few words to eat another spoonful of parfait. At some point, she had gotten some cream on the corner of her mouth.

“Saki-chan, could you pause for a moment?” Honami asked and Saki obliged, sitting patiently as Honami grabbed a napkin and wiped away the cream. Saki giggled as Honami folded and discarded the napkin.

“Thanks Hona-chan!” 

“It’s no problem Saki, but don’t eat so quickly.” Honami chided while Saki nodded with a pout. Honami only laughed, and Saki laughed with her. As the laughter died down, they started eating again, this time opting to share the desserts together.

Ichika groaned as she felt her head make contact with the table, landing with a solid thump . Still, the dark-haired girl just sighed. Why is lyric writing so hard?

“Ichika-chan, are you okay?” Honami’s worried voice made Ichika lift her head off the table, facing her.

“Yeah. I’m just struggling with these lyrics.” Ichika took a look back at the notebook sitting on the table. The page in front of her was littered with crossed out lyrics, to the point that it was hard to find something not crossed out. Honami gave Ichika a worried hum. Initially all four of the band were at Ichika’s house, but since both Saki and Shiho had to leave early, only Honami and Ichika remained.

“Here. I made some cookies yesterday.” Honami placed the plate on the table and sat down next to Ichika. She took one of the cookies from the plate and took a bite. Honami sat and watched as Ichika devoured the cookie, giving her a small smile.

“I’m glad you like them.” Ichika gave her a smile in return. While Ichika continued munching on the cookies, Honami turned her attention to the notebook. As Honami turned the pages, she realised that there were many more pages filled with deleted lyrics. It was uncommon for Ichika to struggle so much with lyric writing; while it wasn’t rare for moments like this to occur, they never lasted this long. 

“Ichika-chan? Is something troubling you?” Honami asked. Ichika tilted her head in confusion for a moment before she locked eyes with Honami. Ichika gave her a smile and responded.

“I’m doing well, I’m just not sure about the direction of the lyrics.” Honami tried to make out some of the scribbled out lyrics, managing to make out a few of the words before Ichika pulled the notebook back towards her. She looked over the notebook again and sighed.

“Saki told me she wanted this song to feel comforting and warm, so I came up with a few ideas, but none of them are speaking to me…” Ichika flipped through the pages, sighing and closing the notebook. She placed the notebook back down on the table and groaned, holding her head in her hands.

“Maybe you should take a break…” Honami suggested, gently rubbing Ichika’s back. The lyricist merely nodded wordlessly and flopped backwards onto the floor, her eyes closed. Honami sat quiet, waiting in the silence as Ichika sorted out her own thoughts. It was best not to bother her for now. She stood up to leave for the kitchen.

“I don’t know much about writing lyrics, so I can’t really help, but I think that you should just do what feels right. All of the lyrics you’ve written so far have been perfect for us.” With that, Honami opened the door and left her room, leaving Ichika alone with her thoughts.

When Honami returned from the kitchen, Ichika was still lying on the floor, her hand outstretched to the ceiling. Ichika sighed and let her hand fall to her side, staring silently into space. Honami set down a glass of water on the table, startling Ichika out of her thoughts. She looked over at Honami, who just gave her a smile.

“Here, some water.” Ichika sat up, grabbing the glass and taking a sip of the still cold water. She looked down at the notebook, opening it up and staring at the lyrics inside. Something about them just seemed off; compared to what she would normally write, these lyrics felt soulless , lacking something special. Ichika groaned again looking over the lyrics.

“Maybe you should stop for today.” Honami suggested. Ichika turned to Honami, about to refute her, only to be stopped by her stern yet soft gaze. 

“Ichika-chan, please don’t frustrate yourself. I’m sure the lyrics will come to you eventually, and we can wait.” Staring at Honami, Ichika sighed. Honami was right, stressing herself out would do nothing to help her write better lyrics. She closed her notebook and placed it back in her bag. The lyrics would flow out of her eventually, and they would be better than anything she could write now.

Honami and Shiho were in the Sekai, practicing while Saki and Ichika were working on their new song. Well, they were supposed to be.

Honami watched as Shiho’s right hand plucked the strings of her bass, her other hand sliding up and down the fretboard. Each movement was precise, landing exactly where they needed to be at the exact time they needed to. Watching Shiho play was always mesmerising; each movement felt so rehearsed yet so emotional. It was the same with Saki and Ichika, honestly. Ichika always seemed so emotional performing; each note and expression she made carried as far as you could hear. Saki’s joy and excitement was clear as day performing. All three of them seemed to shine whenever they performed. Compared to them, she was-

Shiho stopped playing and set down her bass before quickly facing Honami.

“You’re distracted.” Shiho crossed her arms, her cold demeanour betrayed by the worry present in her eyes. 

“S-sorry. I was just thinking about something.” Honami dismissed her, turning her attention back to her drums. They were supposed to be practicing, after all. However, Honami could feel Shiho’s gaze still locked onto her. 

“Honami.” Her tone made Honami snap to face her, “Why are you distracted?” Honami looked down at her lap.

“It’s nothing, let’s start practicing again.” Shiho sighed in response.

“Don’t make me force it out of you.” Shiho stared at Honami, watching as the girl first met her gaze and took a deep breath before averting her eyes and starting to speak.

“The last time I met with Shindou-san, he asked me what I think makes me a leader-”

“And you have no idea, right?” Shiho finished Honami, startling the drummer. She looked over at Shiho, who simply gave her a knowing glare. 

“Seriously, why else would you be telling me that right now?” Shiho crossed her arms. 

“Then, what makes me a good leader?” Honami asked. Shiho paused for a second before she started talking.

“You’re the one always taking care of us. You balance all of us out and make sure we stay unified as a group. Is that enough?” She finished, glancing at Honami while trying to hide her flushed cheeks. Honami couldn’t help but stifle a giggle looking at Shiho. Despite her honest nature, Shiho was never good at praising others. 

“Thank you Shiho-chan, but I’m not quite sure how that connects to me being a leader… After all, I don’t stand out that much compared to you three.” Hearing that, Shiho walked over to Honami and placed her hands on her shoulder, startling the girl and forcing the drummer to face her.

“Being a leader is different from being the frontwoman. You don’t have to be the face of our band to be the leader. The only one suitable to be our leader is you, Honami. So don’t say that again.” Honami nodded wordlessly, so Shiho released her and turned back to grab her bass. 

“Thank you again, Shiho-chan.”

“It’s nothing.” Even though Shiho was looking away, Honami could imagine the way her cheeks flushed with embarrassment easily. A characteristic of Shiho that the drummer always found cute, even if Shiho hated being called that.

“It isn’t nothing. Whenever I’m conflicted or unsure of myself, you’re always there to push me forwards. Thank you for that.” She watched as the bassist flushed an even deeper red, the blush tinting her ears while she tried to calm herself down. Shiho took a few deep breaths in before she turned back to Honami.

“Let’s get back to practice then, alright? I want to redo the second verse one more time.” Shiho slid the strap of her bass back onto her shoulder and turned to face Honami. 

“Okay. Five, six, seven, eight!” 

“Thank you all for coming today.” Shindou said as he sat down on the couch opposite of Leo/need. The group bowed to him in exchange.

“Before we get started with our meeting for today,” Shindou coughed once to clear his throat before turning to Honami, “Mochizuki-san, have you come up with an answer to my question?”

Ichika and Saki looked over at Honami curiously. The drummer took a few breaths in before facing Shindou. 

“Honestly, I’m still not entirely sure what makes me a leader… But I know that the rest of Leo/need believes in me. They trust in my abilities to guide the band down the best path, and I trust their judgement.” Her tone was resolute as she stared at Shindou, watching as he closed his eyes in thought. The rest of the band watched expectantly as he processed her answer.

“I see…” Shindou mumbled. The tense silence that followed was palpable, each member of Leo/need growing more anxious as Shindou debated with himself.

“It’s an unconventional answer, but I can see that you’ve put thought into it. It’s a fine answer.” Honami let out a sigh of relief at his words. Shindou turned his attention towards the rest of the group.

“I assume you all feel the same then?” His words were met with nods from all three of the girls.

“Yep! There’s no one else better for the job than Hona-chan! After all, she’s the only one who can actually say no to me!” Saki spoke up, sending a cheeky smile over at the others. Ichika spoke next.

“I agree. Honami is the best suited of us all to be our leader. It would be weird if it was anyone else.” Saki nodded at her words, placing her hand on her chin in a rather theatrical way. Shiho nodded as well before she voiced her agreement.

“Honami is the best at taking in our ideas and goals and turning that into an actual plan to follow. I think that makes her the most suitable leader between us.” Listening to her friends praise her, as embarrassing as it was, also felt reassuring. For all the doubts she may have had, they were certainly not an echoed sentiment. At the same time, it was more than enough to turn Honami’s entire face red.

Unsurprisingly, everyone noticed. Even more unsurprising was the chuckles that came from her bandmates and Shindou.

“Now that that’s all settled, shall we start our meeting now?” Shindou asked. The girls nodded as their meeting finally started.