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Uraraka was married; she wasn't ‘Uraraka’ anymore. The only remains of that name were her hero name ‘Uravity’ and the names of her parents. Her name was Ochako Midoriya. She and Izuku got married two years after graduating from UA. While Izuku was already a famous pro-hero, she was majoring in Psychology. Since their second year in UA, they became more than just friends. Ochako didn't know how that happened.
She was in a depression during the rest of her high school, a depression caused by the guilt, by the mourning that never stopped, that guilt that she survived, that Toga didn’t. Ochako knew that she had the heart of a hero. Sometimes, things are decided by the family you're born into, by the quirk you're born with.
That's why Ochako decided to quit the hero life for four years—to major in Psychology to be able to help other kids who were confused by their quirks, but also to heal, to get out of that depression that haunted her since that day. And it worked. She got out of it. She founded what she named ‘Quirk Counseling Program’. After just half a year of being open, the QCP (Quirk Counseling Program) opened clinics in over 5 countries. It was something that had been needed for a very long time.
Ochako became famous almost all over the world. Even if there weren’t physical clinics in every country, there were apps and online sessions to make sure all the kids could access them. After that, she returned to the hero industry, obviously still being the president of the QCP. She remembered that the first time she read the news of her returning to being a hero, she cried herself to sleep. It was a story that the public knew, but not entirely.
She told the media that she cried out of excitement and nostalgia, and she wished it was true, but it wasn't. She cried for the name she appeared with in the article ‘Ochako Midoriya’. She didn't know why. Some days after she married Deku, she started regretting it. She wished that instead the name would be ‘Ochako Himiko’. She realized with her therapist that she loved Toga.
She loved her in the year they knew each other more than she had loved Deku in all the years they’d been together—the 4 years of being partners and the 6 years they’d been married. And she still loved her. She might have gotten over her depression, but she didn't get over her, and she never would. She won't forget the person she proclaimed as the love of her life, Himiko Toga.
She was married to Izuku Midoriya, the number 5 hero. Even after the 10 years they’d been together, she hadn’t said a single ‘I love you’—at least not a genuine one. Even on her wedding day, on her marriage proposal, on her honeymoon, on her anniversaries, she hadn’t said a single honest ‘I love you’ to Deku. She knew that, and it hurt her. It hurt her that Deku had to be the one to initiate things all the time. He was the one that made everything in their relationship. He was the one that truly loved his partner.
It hurt her, but it would hurt her more to divorce him, to divorce someone who truly loved her, to divorce him and when he demanded an explanation, she would just tell him ‘I’ve never loved you’. She wouldn’t hurt him that way. She preferred to spend the rest of his life with him until his love wasn’t enough for both of them, just to avoid hurting him, even if it hurt her.
But why was she thinking about this now? Well, that was easy. Today was Toga’s death anniversary. In the morning, she went to visit her grave and left flowers on it—red spider lilies. Ochako traveled 3 hours by train to get them. She went to the city of Kitakami, in the prefecture of Iwate, to buy them. They flowered there, so every year, Ochako made sure to go and buy them. She didn’t know what Toga’s favorite flower was; she didn’t even know if she had one. But the red spider lilies reminded her of her. They were both beautiful and gorgeous, but they also had this eerie aura. Ochako discovered red spider lilies on a UA school trip. They went to Kitakami, and the moment the bus passed through a type of forest, Ochako saw them—a vibrant red flower standing out against the green and brown landscape. Later that day, Ochako searched about them, and in that instant, they became her favorite flowers because it was like seeing her again.
After visiting Toga’s grave and crying for almost two hours, Ochako went to eat at a local restaurant. Then she went to her house—the house she bought with Deku, the house Deku called ‘Home’. She entered. Deku was probably still sleeping; he had a night shift yesterday, so he was very tired. It was about 11 a.m. She hadn’t slept much last night either. The reminder of Toga’s anniversary being tomorrow kept her awake, but also the feeling of another person resting next to her, hugging her—another person who wasn’t Toga. That sensation made sleep difficult some nights. That sensation was there, like every year since she moved in with Deku.
Ochako hated Toga’s death anniversary. She hated knowing that she couldn’t save her. She hated that she died for her. But at the same time, she loved it. She loved knowing that at least many years ago, there was someone who loved her and that she loved—someone with corresponded feelings, someone that she could call the love of her life. She loved remembering Toga’s smile, her face, her beautiful blonde hair, her glamorous eyes. She loved remembering that she existed, that Toga wasn’t a product of her imagination. She just wished that she didn’t have to remember that on her death anniversary. She wished that she was alive and they could be a couple, be married, live together, have kids together or adopt; it didn’t matter. She knew that if Toga came back from the dead, she wouldn’t think twice about leaving Deku. She wouldn’t think twice about what the public or her friends might think. She just wanted to be with her.
She went to the bathroom to take a shower. While she was finishing, she heard a sound from the other room—someone was walking to the kitchen. She wished it was Toga, but she knew it wasn’t. It was her husband. And she was nothing but his wife. For Ochako, wife was just a title—a title to prove that your love was stronger than any normal couple's. But it wasn’t like that for her. For her, wife was just a title, nothing more than that. She was the wife of someone she didn’t love. The water stopped. She went out of the shower and put on a towel. She opened the door and walked to the bedroom. She changed into a beige cardigan, a white shirt, and dark blue shorts. It was an outfit inspired by Toga’s. She used it on Toga’s death anniversary, birthday, and some other times. It wasn’t the exact same to avoid seeming so obvious. She tied her hair like Toga’s. She always tied it like that, except that instead of two buns, she made one because her hair wasn’t long enough. She walked out of the bedroom.
She entered the kitchen and went to the fridge to grab some water. On the fridge’s door was a calendar. Today was marked as ‘Tomiko’s death anniversary’. She told Deku that Tomiko was a friend from when she was in middle school. Tomiko was just a mix of Toga Himiko. She stared at the calendar for a while, remembering the story behind that name. She smiled and then opened the door to grab the water. She drank half of the cup and then turned on the TV in the living room. You could see the TV from the kitchen, so it was okay. The news were playing, and then she remembered. Today was also the anniversary of the Final War. The smile on her face faded. She hated remembering the days of war. She turned off the TV, went to the living room, and sat on the couch. She picked up a book from the table in front of her. It was her book—the book she wrote for the QCP. The book was one of the bestsellers in the world. It was translated into a lot of languages, some that Ochako didn’t even know. She was very proud of the book, but that wasn’t the reason she read it. It was for the last section of the book, a very short chapter titled ‘To My Dearest’. It was dedicated to Toga. It was a full section talking about how she inspired her to do everything she has done, of how she made a better world indirectly. But also, it was a letter.
To my dearest, almost six years had passed since your death. I still can’t believe that you’re gone. I wished that you were here by my side, but life is cruel, and it took you away from me. If I could go back in time just to spend more time with you, I would do it without a doubt. You were and are a very important part of my life. Everything I have achieved is thanks to you—the Quirk Counseling Program, my major in psychology, my life as a hero. It’s all thanks to you. You taught me that not everyone is okay with their quirks. You showed me that not everyone understands their quirks. You showed me everything I know about how hard it is to be confused about your quirk , how hard it is to have a quirk that people don’t accept, how hard it is to be born with a quirk that makes you do things as an instinct. And thanks to that, a lot of kids all around the world are being helped to learn how to deal with the problem you faced back then. The QCP changed the world; it's now a very important part of society. You changed the world too because you were the inspiration for all this. This book is filled with everything you taught me. Well, not all the book, but a big part. I will never forget you. I look forward to the day we can see each other again.
I love you, my dearest. Thank you for everything.
Atte,
Uraraka Ochako
A tear fell from Ochako’s cheek. She had told everyone—her family, Deku, the media, her friends, everyone—that the ‘I love you’ was in a friendly way and that the person she talked about was an old friend of hers who died by suicide the day of the war. Coincidentally, she wished she could talk about Toga without a code name and a fake story, but she knew she couldn’t.
She looked out the window. She could see the garden of the house—a garden full of red spider lilies. She didn’t take the red spider lilies from Toga there because they weren’t as beautiful and big as the ones they sold in Kitakami. But also because Kitakami was the first place she saw the flower. The place that truly reminded her of her. The place that appeared in her dreams. Every time she went to sleep (except when she had nightmares), she dreamed of the same place—a large field of red spider lilies. It was almost as if that place extended to infinity. She always appeared there in her dreams and then looked around looking for Toga because she was always there. She walked to where she was and jumped into her arms. And she was always there, ready to hug her and kiss her until she woke up. Her dreams were her favorite part of the day because Toga was there. All these years, she had been dreaming of her—her being with her in the field of red spider lilies, her marrying her, her buying a home with her—just doing everything she wanted to do with her. It all felt like she was really there, and Ochako loved to believe that it was true.
She left the book on the table and wiped her tears. She started crying without noticing. She heard steps and then two arms hugging her from behind the couch.
“Good morning, Ochako,” the person spoke.
“Good morning, Himiko,” she replied. She felt the arms leave her instantly and Toga taking some steps back. “Is everything okay, Toga?” she said, looking around expecting to see Toga, but she wasn’t there, oh.
“Did you call me… Himiko? And Toga?” Izuku spoke. Izuku, not Toga. How could she forget that she lived with him—with her ‘husband,’ with Izuku Midoriya, not with Toga Himiko, not with the girl of her dreams, not with the girl she called ‘The Love of Her Life’
she see tears falling from her husband’s eyes. All these ten years that she tried to hide her fake love where ruined, just two sentences were enough.