Archive of Our Own

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Love Me Two Times

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Anakin watched as the two people in front of him paced.

He didn’t know them, but he knew that he should. 

The way they looked at him. The way their worry radiated out of them. He should definitely know these two people. If he concentrated, the woman felt like an oasis in the driest of deserts while the man felt like a gentle meadow on a spring day. Abstract concepts didn’t tell him who they were, and he couldn’t remember anyone right now...

But there were no two people he’d rather have with him. 

Because he had just killed someone.

What he did remember was this: he woke up on the ground. Debris partially covered his head. He pulled himself up and staggered towards the sounds of fighting. There he found a man–a Jedi with a purple lightsaber standing over an old man.

“You are under arrest, my lord,” the Jedi said sternly, glaring down at the elder man before glancing to Anakin. 

The old man noticed him as well. 

“Anakin! I told you it would come to this! I was right! The Jedi are taking over!” The old man bleated.

He quickly glanced behind him. No one. So Anakin, that he must be him.

That was a good start.

He decided it probably wasn’t the best time to admit he had no idea who the older man was much less a conversation they may or may not have had. 

“The oppression of the Sith will never return!” the Jedi said valiantly. “You have lost.” 

Oppression? Sith? Okay that sounded bad. 

“No… no…no! YOU MUST DIE!!!” the ‘Sith’ croaked blasting lightning at the Jedi who handily held up his blade to stop it from hitting him. 

'Anakin staggered back in surprise at the feat. Okay, it didn't take a guy with all his memories to make judgements about THAT. 

“Traitor! Traitor!” the old man yelled. 

“He is the traitor!” The Jedi said through gritted teeth. He was barely holding off the attack anymore.

Wait... wait were they talking to him? Oh no. 

“I have the power to save the one you love!” the Sith said to Anakin even as he continued to blast the Jedi with lightning. “You must choose!” 

“Don’t listen to him, Anakin!” the Jedi yelled, getting to his limit. The Lightning had started to bounce off the lightsaber and melt the face of the Sith, but despite that he continued to shoot out the deadly electricity. 

“I can’t hold it any longer… I–I–I–I’m too weak—Anakin! Help me! Help me!” 

The lightning finally stopped. The Jedi took a breath. 

“I–I–I–can’t hold on any longer,” the Sith whispered pathetically. 

“I am going to end this, once and for all!” the Jedi declared. 

Anakin agreed. “He’s already used his lightning once!” he urged.

“Anakin!” the Sith groaned. “Anakin, I can save Padmé!”

Anakin had no idea who Padmé was, but it seemed like the Sith was trying to manipulate him.

There were still things he knew. He knew Jedi were the good guys, and if that was the case this 'Sith' was a bad guy. Maybe he was the reason he lost his memory and he was trying to use him. 

"What if he surrenders." 

"The Courts will never--" The Jedi began to explain. 

The Sith realised Anakin wasn’t going to help him. He roared in anger and surged forward while the Jedi was distracted. It had all been an act! He sent a blast of power, catching the unsuspecting Jedi with the lightning, but suddenly it was Anakin that was moving, surging forward and severing the Sith’s head from his body. 

He watched in horror as it rolled to the floor an expression of rage and disgust the last expression it would make. 

Oh gods, oh poodoo. 

The Jedi fell to the floor. He was injured, but alive, breathing heavily. He reached for his fallen saber which flew back to his hand like magic. He slowly pulled himself up to kneeling, looking up at Anakin. He gave him a tired smile.

“Thanks for having my back. Shouldn't have left you behind in the first place.” 

Anakin was still staring at the blue lightsaber that he held in his own hand. Wait, was he a Jedi too??

“Obi-Wan was right about you,” the Jedi continued. He shook his head in amusement. “ Qui-Gon was right about you.” 

Anakin was trying to turn the lightsaber off. 

He finally figured it out and awkwardly clipped it back onto his belt. He reached out and helped the Jedi to his feet. 

“Right,” Anakin said for want of something to say. He didn’t look at the corpse lying on the floor. “So… this seems like a bad time… but I don’t know who that is. Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan? You Uh… and that… that Sith… who is it I just killed?” 

To his credit the Jedi didn’t laugh in his face or rebuke him for telling a bad joke. His brown eyes just widened in surprise.

“Skywalker, you don’t remember anything?” 

Anakin (Skywalker?) shook his head.

“...Nope.”

✹✹✹

As it turned out, he had just murdered the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic, who was also a Sith Lord, the ancient enemy of the Jedi. 

So… 

That was ... something.

Mace Windu (even with everything happening he was good enough to reintroduce himself) had a lot to do. And Anakin totally understood. Mace was in the middle of a coup. He didn’t really have time to look after Anakin and explain everything. Apparently the other members of the Jedi Council were off world due to the war—

Oh right there was also a war.

Seemed like a good thing to know. 

Anyway, Anakin didn’t want to be a problem, and Mace looked like he was very busy. Anakin instead went back to the room had woken up in. There were dead Jedi lying on the ground. Killed by the Sith.

Anakin must have been fighting with them before he got hit in the head. These were his comrades, his friends. 

He didn’t recognise any of them, but he did his best to clear the debris off them and put their bodies in order. He laid them in a row putting cloaks over them. They looked peaceful despite the deep injuries that had killed them. He felt his eyes tear up. He wished he remembered. 

“We won,” he told the nautiloid who had a smile, even in death.

More Jedi showed up soon after, and a bunch of beings in armour. Some of them in white and red, some of them in white and brown, and then eventually some accented in blue. One of the men in blue came right up to him and saluted.

“Oh no,” Anakin muttered to himself. 

“Sir, the 501st stands ready and waiting for your orders.” 

“Uh…” Anakin said. Mace was nowhere to be found. “Do you know a Qui-Gon?”

The soldier(?) tilted his head. “No sir?”

“Obi-Wan?”

“General Kenobi, sir?”

“Sure. Yes. Him. Do you know where he is? Or a Padmé?”

The soldier was silent as he considered Anakin’s question. “General Kenobi was assigned to apprehend General Grievous. Word just reached us that the 212th mission was a success.” 

“That’s good,” Anakin assumed. He had a good feeling about those two names. Obi-Wan and Padmé. His gut had led him to participating in a deadly, coup, but it was also the only thing he had going for him, so he continued to trust it. 

“Very good, sir,” the soldier agreed. “As for Senator Amidala, I wouldn’t know of her whereabouts at the moment, sir. I can get a secure line to General Kenobi if you need,” the soldier offered, sensing that Anakin was looking for a lifeline right now. Obi-Wan was right about you. I can save Padmé. Obviously they were his friends. The one you love. 

“I don’t want to bother him with his… war stuff,” Anakin said. 

“At this point it’s all clean up, you know how the 212th operate, sir.”

“Sure do. Please contact him for me,” Anakin said before he could second guess himself. 

It was apparently two in the morning. The men in armour looked as busy as Mace did now. Lots of fingers to internal comms. A sensation of excitement and panic. 

Anakin parked himself in a chair until Appo (Anakin overhead one of the other men greet him in passing) returned and led him to a room where he could send a holo.

"Thank you, Appo."

"Of course, sir. With all the excitement no one has contacted them to update them on... the current events." 

Anakin went to stand at the chamber as the datastream was opened, light streaming up out of the floor. 

Standing in front of him cast in blue was the most handsome man Anakin had ever seen (and yes he didn’t remember any man in particular but he knew handsome when he saw it!). Despite the obvious signs of a vicious battle there was only a bit of hair out of place, which the Jedi General absentmindedly pushed back. He grinned when Anakin appeared. 

“You’re the first call I’ve been able to take!” Obi-Wan said cheerfully. “Mission accomplished. The 212th are cleaning up the last of the droids here, but they aren’t putting up much of a fight. We even have some intel on where the last of the Separatists are holed away. I've already diverted some troops to Mandalore to aid—Anakin are you alright?” the triumphant smile faded away to one of concern. “What’s wrong?” 

“The Chancellor is dead.”

“The Chan–Supreme Chancellor Palpatine is dead? What happened?” He asked, aghast. 

“I killed him,” Anakin answered simply.

Obi-Wan looked shocked at the news, he must not have known about the coup. “You did? Why would you—I’m so—Anakin, are you alright?” 

“Not… not really?” Anakin asked, letting his voice break. “The thing is I don’t remember. I was hoping when I saw you I would remember, but I still don’t remember. I think I need help. I need your help, and maybe Padmé’s help, but I don’t know who Padmé is.”

“You don’t know who…” Obi-Wan whispered. He looked terrified. He had just won a war, and Anakin’s words terrified him.

“I’m coming back,” he decided. “Before the hyperlanes are closed by the–the death of the Supreme Chancellor,” he sounded like he couldn’t believe the words he was saying. “You need to go to Master Windu, he’ll–”

“He’s a bit busy,” Anakin interrupted. "Apparently because he was a Sith there are a lot of traps in the Supreme Chancellor's offi—"

"He was the Sith?!" Obi-Wan cried in horrified suprise. "Stars, it was... Anakin it was all a set up. Everything—he— Force, did he—? I let him—! Anakin, are you alright?" 

Anakin shook his head gently in reply. He didn't know what to say to comfort him, but it seemed he didn't need to say anything. Obi-Wan immediately calmed down when he saw Anakin's own discomfort. He wrapped his arms in his cloak and around himself in a subtle protective gesture. 

“I'm sorry, you don't... you don't remember. It's alright, Anakin. I know this is confusing and upsetting. We'll get through this together. I know you to your core. You're strong. Go to Master Windu until I can get to you, alright?” Obi-Wan asked softly, trying to comfort him when only moments ago it seemed his entire galaxy was crashing around him.

"He's busy," Anakin repeated weakly. 

"Right, right," Obi-Wan hesitated, squeezed his eyes shut and then nodded to himself. “Then yes… yes, you should go to Padmé.”

“I don’t know who she is!”

“I know, I know, it’s alright, dear one.” —dear one… that was nice— "She … she’s very close to you. A friend…” A long pause. “She's someone you trust with all your heart… I’ll contact her immediately. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Until then… until then...”

"What about your war?"

"The war is over, Anakin... we won." But he looked more perturbed with the implications of it now, learning of the Supreme Chancellor and what he really was. "Keep safe, Anakin." 

“I’ll try?”

“There is no try. Keep safe,” Obi-Wan ordered sternly.

“I promise,” Anakin said for Obi-Wan’s sake. The promise seemed to ease some of the tension that had been building in the handsome man’s shoulders throughout the conversation. “I’ll see you soon.”

✹✹✹

He was picked up by a golden protocol droid and an R2 astromech, C3PO and R2-D2 respectively. The two droids bickered nervously—mostly Threepio did—as they took Anakin to an apartment in the sky. 

And there he met an Angel. 

“Anakin!” 

The beautiful woman ran to him, throwing her arms around him. His arms automatically wrapped around her. 

“When Obi-Wan contacted me I feared the worst.” 

“I’m alright,” Anakin lied. Everything he had in him didn't want to see her suffer on account of him. “I just… I don’t—”

“It’s alright,” she told him. She parted with him, but took his left hand in hers. She was so much shorter than him, and she looked up, her bright brown eyes meeting his. “He said you don’t remember who I am.”

“I don’t,” Anakin whispered. Just as with Obi-Wan he saw a terrible fear within her. He must be so important to them, and yet he didn’t even remember their names. He had just followed intuition when he had asked Appo. 

Padmé led him to a couch and sat him down. She didn’t let go of his hand. She adjusted herself, her hand going to her stomach.

She was–she was pregnant.

Oh. Oh no. 

She noticed him looking. Instead of saying anything she pulled his hand and gently pressed it to her stomach.

“I don’t remember,” he whispered. Pleaded. Tears rolled down his face. How much was he missing? 

Tears had started to roll down her face as well, but she was strong. Much stronger than him. 

“We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

“I killed someone.”

“You’re a soldier, Ani… a Jedi. That … sometimes you are forced to act.” 

Forced to act. He remembered the old man calling to him like he might be a saviour, but he also remembered the darkness. The vileness, the cunning. The promise to save Padmé, but with the implied threat that she would die without his assistance. 

“Are you in danger?” Anakin asked quickly. Obi-Wan was a General, a Jedi, he could take care of himself, but Padmé... she wasn't a warrior, was she? Palpatine threatened her. She was in danger. He needed to protect her.

“What?” Padmé asked, surprised at how quickly Anakin had turned the conversation. “No. No, Anakin, I’m alright.” As she said that she put her hand on her stomach again. “Me and the baby,” she assured him. “Steady heartbeat. Nothing is going to happen to me.”

She looked so sure and he wanted to believe her. 

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“What do you have to be sorry for, Anakin?” She asked. 

“For forgetting you… and Obi-Wan,” he added. “I… I shouldn’t have.”

“It wasn’t your choice,” Padmé said gently. She reached up now, running a hand through his curls. He winced a little when she hit the prominent bump. “Has anyone looked at this yet?” She frowned feeling over it again. Despite the pain he only dropped his head lower so she could better inspect it.

“One of the white and red guys did. He said it was probably a concussion.”

“Did you tell him you were having problems remembering things?” She asked incredulously. 

“I—no.”

“Anakin, you’re seriously injured! We need to get you to a doctor or healer!” She stood and he caught her hand.

“I don’t want to. I don’t want to right now. I just… Padmé, bad things are happening right now, alright?”

“Anakin—”

“I killed the Supreme Chancellor!” he blurted. He had meant to tell her sooner, but he had gotten so swept up in her care and he hadn’t wanted it to end. 

“You killed…” Her jaw dropped. "You?" 

“I think I took part in a coup?” 

“We need a lawyer,” she muttered. “Even if the Jedi have legal immunity this goes so far beyond anything—and a doctor, or at least a med droid,” she added. “And I need to call Bail—where's Obi-Wan? How long does it take to get from Utapau to here anyway?”

✹✹✹

As it turned out, not too long at all. The sun was just breaking past the clouds when Obi-Wan Kenobi arrived on Padmé’s doorstep. He looked far more dishevelled than he had moments after winning a battle. Winning a battle that had won a war. 

Anakin felt another pang of guilt. 

“How is he?” Obi-Wan asked Padmé. He moved quickly to stand in front of Anakin. Anakin stood and expected a hug like he had received from Padmé. Instead, Obi-Wan stopped short and looked him over, his hands buried in his billowing cloak. Anakin, who had lost his memory, decided he could blame it on memory loss and bent down to hug the smaller man. Obi-Wan didn’t flinch away. He returned the hug firmly.  

“You don’t remember a thing, do you?” Obi-Wan said dryly, quiet fondness utterly suffused in his lovely voice.

“Nope,” Anakin confirmed, but felt safer already. Now that Obi-Wan and Padmé were physically with him he felt complete. He felt a lot calmer. Maybe his mind might not recognise them, but some part of him did, he was sure of it. 

“The doctor is on his way, the lawyer won’t be here until morning, I’ve contacted Bail, apparently we’re in the middle of a coup,” Padmé said to Obi-Wan accusingly. 

“I was in the middle of a battle!” Obi-Wan protested.

“But you knew it was a possibility. You must have! You’re a member of the Jedi Council!”

Wait, did Obi-Wan and Padmé get along? Had Anakin miscalculated something here? Anakin reluctantly released the Jedi Master and Obi-Wan turned to Padmé to argue.

“Palpatine’s power was growing more and more. The war was coming to an end and he was still clinging to emergency powers. It came up, but it wasn’t deeply explored.” 

“I have spent the last three days trying to claw those powers back—You didn’t tell me.”

“I didn’t tell you the Jedi Council briefly considered the necessity of a coup if the Supreme Chancellor didn’t legally forfeit his emergency powers?” Obi-Wan crossed his arms. “You’ll forgive me for believing it would never come to that. Especially since you were already working toward a legal solution.”

“And then a coup happened!”

“Uh,” Anakin said softly. He felt a bit guilty. Padmé was arguing with Obi-Wan, but it had been Anakin that had taken part in said coup.

The two continued.

“Padme, the Chancellor, was a Sith Lord. He was evil! It was the worst possible scenario. He would never have given up his powers willingly. He would have killed us all—”

“I know that! What I’m saying is that if you had told me we could have—”

“Guys?”

“I wasn’t here, Padmé! I didn’t know! You were here!” and the last part Obi-Wan said rather accusingly. 

“That’s right. You left the moment you got close to admitting your feelings–”

“Hey,” Anakin said, finally pulling their furious gazes back to him. “As far as I can see, things were tense. There was a war. A Sith Lord was controlling the senate. No matter what happened before, it's over now. It’s a mess. A bad mess. I made it. I don’t think I can clean it up by myself. I need you. Both of you.”

That shut them up. Both of them instantly softened their eyes. Then they turned to each other and made some awkward apologetic eye contact, and then Obi-Wan noticed the roundness of Padme’s belly. 

“It’s his?” he whispered. Uhoh, he hadn't known about that either. 

She nodded, confirming what Anaking knew in theory, but was also terrified of knowing for sure. 

Obi-Wan looked hurt and tired, but he didn’t look surprised.

His face pulled into a wry look. Like he was about to make a joke about it to show he wasn't as crushed as he looked a moment ago, but it wasn’t in him. 

“Congratulations,” he said instead, halfheartedly. He went and sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. 

Anakin had definitely fucked up somehow. Apparently, he had been keeping secrets. Lots of secrets. Were Obi-Wan and Padmé rivals? Was he a cheater? 

But Padmé didn’t look victorious to have beaten a love rival. Instead she looked incredibly sad on Obi-Wan’s behalf.

“I was only able to tell Anakin when you got back from the Invisible Hand,” she said carefully.

“Oh, so before he lost his memories? No wonder he had been so stressed.” 

None of us have slept, Anakin pointed out mentally. All of them were tired. He should do something. They both looked so tired and worried and hurt, and he was tired, and a rising frustration with himself was growing. These beautiful wonderful important people were giving all their time to him and he couldn’t even remember their names on his own. 

“Mistress Padmé, Prince Organa is here to see you. I told him you were indisposed but—”

“Let him in Threepio,” both Padmé and Obi-Wan said in unison.

Oh no, Anakin didn’t have another secret lover he didn’t remember, did he? A Prince?  

Bail, who was also good-looking, but didn’t feel like Anakin’s type, came in side by side with a doctor, who was immediately on Anakin’s ass while Bail, Obi-Wan, and Padme talked about the coup.

Anakin, who had struck the decisive blow of the coup felt rather sidelined, but to be fair, didn’t know what he would do if he wasn’t being prodded by the doctor.

Sleeping. His mind supplied. Sleeping in a bed between Obi-Wan and Padmé. That sounded extremely good right now.

“What can you remember?” the doctor asked as he flashed a penlight in his eyes.

“Ow. I don’t know? I don’t remember people. I don’t remember where I am. I remember how to do things. Like driving and I–I instinctively remember some things… like… using a lightsaber but only from muscle memory and instinct. I know… stuff…”

“Hmm,” the Doctor replied, flashing the light in his other eye.

“I can’t speak on behalf of the Jedi council! This is informal,” Obi-Wan said in the background. 

“You, Skywalker, and Mace Windu are the Jedi Council right now until the others return from active duty!” the Prince said sternly. “And out of the three of you, you didn’t take part in a coup that resulted in the death of the Supreme Chancellor!”

“I’m on the Council?” Anakin asked, trying to struggle away from the doctor who continued to have a firm grasp on him. 

“Yes,” Padmé and Obi-Wan chorused and promptly left him to the torments of his healer again.

“Master Shaak Ti is on planet,” Obi-Wan said.

“And could very well be a co-conspirator. At least you can claim not to know what the rest were planning—” Bail held up his hand before Obi-Wan could protest. “And I suggest that’s the story you stick to until we sort everything out, my friend.”

Are they conspiring? Is Anakin part of a conspiracy? The doctor was pointedly not looking in the direction of the others and he had symbols on his clothes that mirrored some of the decorations in the living area. Obviously someone trusted by Padmé. 

Oh boy. 

He took a moment to reflect that the man he was before he had lost his memory had a far too complicated life to keep up with. 

“You’re not thinking of charging Master Windu and Anakin?” Obi-Wan baulked.

“Nothing’s going to happen to Anakin,” Padmé said firmly. There was a subtle threat in the Prince's direction if he tried to say otherwise. Maybe she was a warrior?

“He’s probably not medically fit to stand trial,” the doctor offered helpfully not as deaf as he was pretending to be to the conversation.  

Anakin glared at him.

“I haven’t even been able to contact Master Windu,” Obi-Wan rubbed his forehead. “I came straight here. I don’t actually know what’s happening right now.”

“Last night, Jedi Masters Windu, Fisto, Kolar, and, Tiin entered the offices of the Supreme Chancellor,” Bail said gravely. “Followed not long after by Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker.”

Anakin listened with rapt attention.

“There were no visual recording devices in the offices, but there was an audio recording found according to my sources. It sounds bad, Obi-Wan. The Supreme Chancellor was begging for his life.” 

“That’s not what happened,” Anakin objected. He pulled away from the doctor and joined their little circle. “He killed the other Jedi. Master Windu had him pinned. The Sith shot lightning at him. He threatened—he tried to blackmail me I think. He begged for his life, but was only acting pathetic. When he realised I wasn’t going to save him he shot out more lightning. He was faking being a weak old man and almost killed Master Windu. I—”

“Anakin,” Padme said firmly. “Stop talking.”

“It’s the truth.”

“You’ll find, my friend, law, justice, and truth don’t always align,” Obi-Wan sighed. He reached over and absently rubbed Anakin's shoulder in a comforting gesture. 

“Being a Sith isn’t illegal,” Bail said. 

All three of them gave Bail a dirty look.

“I’m with you. You know I am. I’m just telling you what we’re facing. The Jedi have legal immunities, but they’re also part of the GAR. They’re the leaders of the army. This is a military coup whether you like it or not. The Clones are loyal to the Jedi.”

“They’re loyal to the Republic,” Obi-Wan argued.

Clones?

“No, they’re loyal to you,” Bail shook his head. “They’re already guarding the Temple and Senate. They’re backing Windu’s play.”

Obi-Wan sighed. “Alright, perhaps that’s not so surprising.” 

“The Clones and the Jedi’s public opinion has never been strong. Half the public still think the clones are droids. A good ten percent of the core think the Jedi are an insular cult on the leash of the Senate, and that’s IN the core. There’s only two exceptions.”

“Anakin and I.”

“Yes. And right now Knight Skywalker is—”

“Not available for comment,” Anakin joked. No one laughed. 

“Alright,” Padmé said slowly. “The Jedi have taken over the Republic.”

“To keep it a Republic,” Obi-Wan crossed his arms defensively. 

“Yes,” Padmé agreed. She put her hand on the Jedi Master’s knee. Rather than jealousy Anakin felt relieved by the gesture.

He could read Obi-Wan Kenobi, even if he couldn’t remember what they had been through together. The man was a cool calm presence, but there was something underneath. Thrumming anxiety. 

“The Jedi don't want to keep the Republic,” Padmé continued. She looked at Obi-Wan. 

“No, not in the long term,” Obi-Wan agreed. “But Palpatine was our leader for a very long time. He passed laws. He had allies, and he’s a Sith. He must have had backup plans in place. We need to move very carefully—this coup whether I knew about it or not,” Obi-Wan said for Bail and the doctor’s benefit, “It was sudden. There was no plan behind it. I didn’t know the Supreme Chancellor was a Sith, if I had there would have been a plan that I would have been made aware of. So... it would have been uncovered today–yesterday. They found out he was a Sith, realized what that would mean, and went to stop him.”

“There’s no step two?” Bail groaned. “Just kill the Sith and hope for the best?”

“He–we tried arresting him,” Anakin said helpfully.

“I hate to interrupt, your majesty, but I really think we should get General Skywalker to a proper facility. I can find nothing wrong other than the bump, but memory loss like he describes is… I’ve never encountered anything like it. We need proper equipment.”

“I’m fine,” Anakin protested. “I don’t even have a headache.”

“Just severe memory loss?” Obi-Wan quirked a sarcastic eyebrow.

Anakin rolled his eyes instinctively.

“There needs to be an emergency session in the morning–in a few hours,” Padmé said. “The Jedi need to be clear on their motives and goals. Having a plan to cede control back to the Republic wouldn’t hurt either.” 

“Then as one of the rulers of the free galaxy, I should go,” Obi-Wan quipped, but he hesitated, looking at Anakin. 

And Padmé was holding Anakin’s hand again.

“Take Anakin with you," she said, "Maybe a Force Healer might be able to help him.” She was reluctant. “He’s in the middle of this and you’ll be able to protect him better than I can right now.”

Obi-Wan nodded, but Padme didn’t let it lie.

“You will, won’t you? Protect him?”

“You know I will.”

There was a very intense stare between them that Anakin didn’t know how to decipher. Then Obi-Wan stood and Anakin smoothly followed suit automatically. Padmé took his face in her hands, pulled him down, and gave him a kiss. She looked into him. He wished he knew her eyes as well as he must have once. The most beautiful intense shade of brown. 

“Look after Obi-Wan too, alright?” she smiled. “You don’t remember, but you’re always saving him.” 

Obi-Wan let out a huff that sounded more like a laugh. A broken pained laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.

“Of course. I love him. Just as I love you. I may not remember anything, but I know that at least,” Anakin smiled back.

“What?” Obi-Wan asked. Padme’s eyes widened, but her lips curved in a triumphant grin, excitement alighting around her. And joy. 

“Good,” she said, and squeezed his hands. “Very good. Hold on to that, my love.” 

“I promise,” he replied. 

✹✹✹

It seemed like Obi-Wan wanted the flight to the Temple to be silent and awkward. Anakin didn’t know the Anakin Skywalker he used to be, but he decided that the one he was now was straightforward.

Especially after waking up to such a tangled complicated life that he was still trying to unravel. 

“I had never told you that before. That I love you,” he said. 

Obi-Wan looked like he would rather jump out the window than have this conversation.

“No,” he said calmly. “You never did, not with that kind of sentiment. You were never supposed to—I wasn’t blind. I knew you and Padmé were in a relationship. We never spoke of it. I pretended to be ignorant because I knew she made you happy… and there wasn’t much left that did.”

“That must have been hard. Pretending not to see it,” Anakin said sympathetically. He wanted to kick his past self in the teeth for making the man in front of him suffer—and how much had Padmé suffered? What were the things that she pretended not to see for the sake of Anakin Skywalker? 

Obi-Wan shrugged a little. “It was a difficult time. The war. Your arm.” 

It wasn’t that Anakin didn’t know he had a cybernetic arm, but it only now occurred to him to wonder why.

Obi-Wan continued. “You have loved her since you were a boy. You weren’t subtle. I think you wanted me to say something. Maybe I should have.” 

“You were trying to protect me,” Anakin said. He didn’t know Obi-Wan Kenobi, and yet a part of him did. Instinctively he knew. 

“Yes, but Anakin, you’re confused. Your feelings for me are not the same that you share with Padmé. I was your teacher. I practically raised you. You’re like a brother to me.”

Anakin considered this.

“No,” he decided.

“No?”

“That’s not what it feels like. I look at you and I want you, just like how I want Padmé, and you want me too.”

“I don’t—that isn’t—”

“Appropriate?” Anakin guessed. “But it’s true.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “I don't feel that sort of desire for you, Anakin.”

Anakin frowned. That didn’t sound like a lie… but it wasn’t the complete truth. “But you have felt other things for me.”

Obi-Wan looked so tired. Anakin felt wide awake now, but Obi-Wan’s energy was waning. Had he slept at all since his literal war battle? Did he sleep on the way here, or had he been awake and worried about Anakin? 

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and then finally nodded. “You were never supposed to know.”

Anakin wasn’t sure how he could have ever missed it, the kind of care this man showed him. The soft way he looked at him. The sweetness and firm protection. A teacher, yes, he could see it, looking up to this man as a student, but there was something else too. He had known him for only a few hours now and he was already in love with him. How must it have felt before? Being so close, but unable to reach forward and fill the distance.

“I wasn’t very honest, was I?” Anakin frowned. He felt a weight on his shoulders. How many secrets had he kept? Secrets that were forgotten now. 

Obi-Wan’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “You were very honest. You were always outspoken about your feelings, even at less than prudent times.”

Anakin shook his head. “I don’t think so. If I was, you would have known what I feel for you.”

"Anakin, these feelings you have... the feelings that I have for you... as soon as they developed I knew it wasn't possible. Even though I wasn't your Master anymore there were millions of other reasons it could never work. The most important one being that you have Padmé. You have never wanted anyone other than her. Right now I’m a stranger to you. You don’t have… context for us.” 

"I can love more than one person, Obi-Wan."

"You are a Jedi, you should not fall in love with anyone."

"Why's that?-oh." Anakin realised. "He thought I would help him because he knew. He threatened Padmé. Said she was in danger and he was the only one that could save her. He expected me to doom everyone else for it..."

It was a terrifying thought. 

Obi-Wan looked just as pained. 

"I let you meet with him for years and I didn't even suspect. And when there had been signs I only thought it was because he was a politician and I dislike most politicians. Not for a second did I think he could be a Sith. Even in the end I thought he was only a corrupt politician taking advantage of the war. I... he must have wanted you to join him."

Had Anakin become a Sith? Was that one of his secrets?

He remembered the icy void. The curdling darkness that cloaked the old man. No. No, that wasn't him. 

But it could have been, something inside him whispered. A hungry dragon hiding in the pit of him. 

But it wasn't. 

"I came to help the others stop him," Anakin said. He hoped it wasn't a lie. "Whatever he tried to make me, it didn't work... I think I did what I was supposed to." The Dragon felt a lot lighter when he realized that. 

"If killing the last Sith doesn't bring balance to the Force, nothing will," Obi-Wan agreed.

"Sorry?"

Obi-Wan snorted, "No, never mind. It's not important. Not anymore." 

"You're right. What's important is us." 

"It's not appropriate, Anakin." He was trying to be stern now, but Obi-Wan didn't realize that the tone only made Anakin heat up in the most pleasant way. 

He was sure. Padmé reacted too, she must have seen it, she indicated she was all for it, and there had been an intimacy between the two of them as well. Perhaps not what he had with the two of them, but there could be a beginning. It was only Obi-Wan's stubborness working against them now. Luckily he was discovering he was quite stubborn too.  

“I'm an adult. I know how I feel,” Anakin said. He reached forward and caught the Jedi’s hand in his. “My mind doesn’t remember, but I love you. I know.”

"I'm a Jedi, Anakin. Even if you revoke your vows, I'm not ready to let go of mine."

"Alright," Anakin agreed. At least they were past the doubt and guilt for now.  "Then we'll figure out how to do it as Jedi." 

Obi-Wan helplessly laughed. He let his head gently hit the back of the transport. “There are so many other things right now.” 

“I can be patient.”

Another laugh, this accompanied by knowing eyes.

Anakin tilted his head, “Well, at least until you get your coup straightened out.”

“Oh, it’s my coup? I believe you are the one that started it.”

“Fine, our coup.” 

“Oh Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighed, and not entirely about the banter. 

✹✹✹

The Jedi Healer had been helpful. Master Che also seemed to have known him since he was a boy. She did not look all that surprised when he had laid out the initial problem.

“The amount of times you get electrocuted I’m only surprised it isn’t physical,” she told him after her initial check up. Then she started diving in with the Force.

Now, that had jolted something in him. He had been aware it was there, he could feel it, it felt natural, but he didn’t have a name for it. 

“But I knew what Jedi were,” Anakin explained. “And a bunch of random facts about podracers.” 

Master Che hummed. “Do you remember your childhood?”

Anakin blinked. “... Yes,” he said slowly. “I was a slave.”

He had a mother. Was she okay? Did he free her? 

Something twisted in his gut. A knowledge he didn’t want to know. 

“I think it’s you,” Master Che said slowly, coming out of her light meditation. “I think you blocked out your own memories.”

“Wait—me? Why would I do that? Why now?” Anakin asked in shock. “Am I stupid.”

Master Che snorted, perhaps agreeing with that assesment, but shook her head. “You aren't stupid, Anakin. You’ve been fighting a war, and you were about to fight a man that you thought of as your friend," she told him gently. “You were stressed, Anakin. The physical shock of the ceiling falling on your head jolted your system. You locked your memories behind a wall instead of letting yourself deal with them.” 

He had thought a Sith was his friend. 

“I’m an idiot.”

She tutted. “Your blood pressure alone is worrisome for a human of your age. “Whatever was happening you weren’t dealing with it properly, but,” she added before he could start berating himself, “You are a twenty-two-year-old General, and a member of the High Council, and you were only Knighted three years ago. You’re not the only Knight, or even Master that have let their own wellbeing fall to the wayside for the greater good,” she sighed. “If I could only get my hands on Kenobi and Windu. Not to mention Master Tiin—” She stopped abruptly, remembering. Her eyes dimmed. 

He was one of the people that had died fighting the Sith. Anakin bowed his head as well.

“My point is,” she said quietly after taking a moment to gather herself, “There has been a lot on your shoulders. You reached a moment of crisis and your body shut down. Now, with the raw power you have it won’t be simple to unlock, especially if you don’t remember your training.” 

“I’ve been acting on instinct,” Anakin nodded. 

“I think with Obi-Wan’s help we’ll be able to unlock them.” 

“Not yet though,” Anakin said quickly.

“Anakin Skywalker, you—”

“At least not until he gets some sleep—and I get some sleep?” 

She softened again. “See Skywalker? You're not stupid at all. Tell him I’ll make it a medical order if he struggles.” 

Anakin grinned. 

✹✹✹

They were finally in bed. The three of them. Together. 

Fully in sleep clothes because Obi-Wan wasn’t ready to experiment physically just yet, still coming to terms with the emotional aspects to all this. 

But Anakin was in the best sandwich ever.

Too bad there was a heavy feeling hanging over him. 

The coup was over, the investigations done. The Senate was carefully given back to the senators, making sure there would be no retaliation toward the Jedi (and giving the Clones full rights as citizens. Obi-Wan said a lot of words that made it seem like not an abuse of his temporary power, but even if it was, Anakin certainly didn’t mind. Master Windu said something about Qui-Gon being proud). 

Anyway, everything was stable. There would be a vote for a new Supreme Commander who wouldn’t have a bunch of emergency powers to use against the Republic. Some had been disappointed they wouldn't get the chance to play in the political sandbox Palpatine had left for them. 

In the end, Democracy would live, with some some quiet grumbles.

Well, quiet for now at least. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t run,” Obi-Wan had teased.

“I am heavily pregnant, and the scandal of my secret Jedi husband will hurt my chances. I’ll wait until the baby is older before I go back. I need a break.”

“We all need a break,” Anakin had said and meant it.

Hence the bed, but also.

“Are you ready?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Not yet,” Anakin answered. “It’s silly. They’re my memories. I want them back, it’s just… I don’t want to lose anything.”

“You’re not going to lose anything,” Padmé said gently.

“Letting go is difficult… I’ve had trouble with it,” Obi-Wan said. It was the tone he used when he was telling Anakin something he probably had trouble telling him before the memory loss. “But clinging to the things you fear to lose means that you can never live without suffering.”

“What if I never unlocked them?” Anakin challenged. “Would you hate me?” 

Padmé shifted closer, cuddling against him. “Are you asking if we would love you less?”

Was he?

Obi-Wan sighed, there was the scratch of beard against Anakin’s shoulder. 

“I would miss those aspects of you,” Obi-Wan said. “But it’s your decision. Letting go doesn’t have to be an ending. We could come to know each other differently, perhaps that would be easier. You’re convinced that you feel this way for me, but—”

“He does,” Padmé said, pushing up on Anakin’s chest to glare at Obi-Wan. “Please don’t start that again."

Anakin sighed. “I’m scared.”

The other two were momentarly suprised.

The old Anakin Skywalker was known as the Hero with No Fear. 

This Anakin Skywalker knew the old one was a liar. 

“We’re here,” Padme said.

“We’ll get through this together,” Obi-Wan said. “But you need to want it, Anakin, or we’ll be smashing against a wall of duracrete. Don't let your fear influence you. If you don't want to do this, we won't think less of you.”

“I do want it,” Anakin said. “I want the memories I made with you.”

“Then close your eyes, and focus on us.”

“The keys to my heart,” Anakin grinned sappily. He let himself fall into the Force, but the two bright lights beside him kept him grounded, anchored in the moment. Before him was a door. A door he didn’t want to open. A door with answers.

It would hurt when he knew.

But it would also bring joy. 

He opened the door.