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It was a lovely day in the small town of Halfway Hollow, and Phil was bored out of his mind. The sunshine was nice, of course, and he couldn't help but be at least a little cheerful, but the monotony was tedious, nonetheless.
See, the thing was, he was a detective. Which would've been fine if he lived in a bigger city! Those had plenty of crimes that needed solving. But since he lived in a small town, the worst that really happened was the occasional pet going missing. Maybe, on occasion, there would be a missing persons case, but the town bordered a fae forest. Nine times out of ten, the missing person wandered in and hadn't come out, and Phil wasn't about to mess with the fae. The other time someone had gone missing, they'd just up and left, and Phil had found them a few towns over, perfectly safe and content.
A good ending, yes, but it didn't have the thrill of the chase. There was no bad guy to chase down. No excitement. No drama.
He did have a day job, of course, because his detective work was largely unpaid. Mostly due to how few cases there were for him to solve. Ensuring that the fae forest wasn't getting too much closer to the town was a somewhat dangerous job, but that, at least, paid well for the amount of effort, and Phil didn't mind it all that much. The only real danger was if he looked away from the path for too long, but he was pretty good at staying focused, generally speaking. That being said, his route tended to be over very quickly most days, which left him a lot of time to search out new cases (and to be once more disappointed).
But today was different.
His first clue as such was when he ran into the baker's apprentice just outside of town. The apprentice was well-known around town, always bright and cheerful and hard-working, so it was a strange sight to see them sitting, knees curled up to their chest with their back to a fence post, sobbing uncontrollably.
Phil hurried over and knelt down, carefully tapping their shoulder. "Hey, mate. You alright?"
The baker's apprentice looked up at him, face streaked with tears, and struggled to speak for a moment. "It's- my name," they said finally, sniffing and seeming about to burst into tears again. "It's gone. I don't know how- I've never been to the forest, I've been so careful-"
"Oh, mate," Phil said softly, the realization suddenly setting in that he had no idea what their name was, despite knowing for a fact that he'd heard it dozens of times. "I'm so sorry. Was there anyone new in town today? Anyone who might've stolen your name?"
They looked up as if in thought, sniffling faintly. "I... I don't think so. I don't remember anyone new coming to the shop today. That's really the only place I was today, I can't imagine it happening anywhere else."
Phil nodded, taking a mental note of that. "And do you happen to remember the last person you talked to before losing your name? If not, that's okay too; even just a list of anyone who came in today should narrow it down."
"It was really busy today. I didn't actually realize my name was gone until about an hour ago," they admitted, looking close to tears again. "And I think it was gone for a while by that point. I'm really sorry."
"It's not your fault," Phil told them, searching for any way he could possibly comfort them. "Do you think it would help to have a nickname you could use?"
"... maybe?" They glanced around as if to find inspiration from something nearby. "I can try and find one." As they said that, though, worry sparked in their eyes, and they looked back at him. "I can get my true name back, right? This isn't permanent?"
Phil hesitated, torn between crushing their hope and possibly lying to them. The truth was that fae could return names, if they really wanted to; the problem was that getting names back was far more difficult and time-consuming, not to mention straight-up dangerous, than most people dared bother with. The process was also entirely reliant on finding the particular fae that had stolen one's name, which was a feat on its own. "You know what, I'll see if I can find the fae who took your name," he said after a moment, standing up and brushing dust from his pants. "After that, it's up to you to convince them to give it back."
They nodded, returning to staring into the middle distance, and Phil continued on his way, this time with a new excitement. Finally, a case! It was sad that the baker's apprentice had to suffer as a part of the case, of course, but at least he had something to do now.
His first stop was his house, to get his detective stuff. Said stuff consisted of a cool hat - green and white striped, obviously very fashionable, and reserved only for special occasions and/or cases - as well as a small parchment notepad and charcoal pencil. All very important for detective work. He quickly scribbled a few notes on the notepad:
- baker's apprentice's name was stolen
- at least an hour ago
- not a stranger, undercover fae ?
It wasn't a bad start, and he nodded to himself before tucking the pencil into his pocket and starting out to his second stop: the bakery.
The bakery was almost empty when he arrived. Most people went to get bread and fun treats early in the morning, and given that it was about three hours past noon, the only people still hanging around were those who were holding conversations or had something else to do in the area. And, of course, the baker herself.
"Phil! Hi!" Niki greeted as he walked inside, smiling at him. "It's been a while! I see you're doing detective work again?"
Phil almost asked how the heck she'd known that, only to remember that he was literally wearing his detective hat. "I am, yeah," he answered, looking over the pastries in the countertop display. He spent a moment trying to decide if it would be a good idea to get one now or wait until he'd solved the case - as a treat - before realizing he'd gotten sidetracked. "It's the fae again."
Niki frowned, worry crossing her face. "Is that why my apprentice is nowhere to be found? They're alright, aren't they?"
"Their name got stolen," Phil explained. "I'm trying to find out who did it. I was hoping to look through the receipts for today, if that's okay. To see who might've had the opportunity."
"I don't think it was anyone today," Niki said slowly. "As far as I saw, there weren't any new customers, and even knowing who was here wouldn't narrow it down very much. I swear, half the town came through this morning. It was crazy. I don't think the receipts will help, unfortunately."
Damn it. Niki was right; Halfway Hollow might be a small town, but even half the residents was still a lot of people to talk to. And there wasn't a guarantee the undercover fae would be in the list of receipts, anyway; they might've stopped by, only to leave without buying anything. Phil knew at least a few people who visited the bakery almost solely for the purpose of socialization.
"That's alright," he said, taking out his pen to scribble a note (receipts aren't helpful, definitely a citizen). Unfortunately, this did mean that his most important lead had been rendered pretty much useless. "Is there anything else you can think of that might help? Anyone acting suspicious, or... I don't know, anyone else who's had their name stolen lately?"
Niki shook her head apologetically, then paused. "I think I have something, actually. You know the butcher's son? Tubbo?" Phil nodded, and she continued, "I think he had some sort of encounter the other day. He was talking about that when he came in today. Something about feeling compelled to do something. I don't remember the details, we were really busy this morning and it was all kind of a blur, but that bit stood out to me."
"Great, thank you!" Phil wrote that on his notepad and started to leave, only to hesitate by the door, because being around all the baked goods had apparently made him hungry. "Can I get a cookie, actually?"
"Sure!" Niki took out the cookie with a napkin, wrapping it carefully and handing it over in exchange for a bronze coin. "Tell you what," she said, lowering her voice conspiratorially. "If you help my apprentice get their name back, you can have one free treat a day for life."
"Oh, there's no need. Helping people is its own reward."
Niki gave him a look. "So you don't want free cookies?"
"Well- I mean, that's not why I'm doing it. But free cookies would be great, yes."
After saying goodbye to Niki, Phil started off towards the butcher's shop, where he was promptly informed that Tubbo had already left for the day. Which was supremely unhelpful. The butcher didn't even bother saying where to, just continued with whatever he was working on, and Phil very quickly decided he didn't want to hang around for much longer.
That was his second lead down, he thought to himself, frowning absently at nothing as he started walking across town. Sure, he could find Tubbo later, but the longer he waited, the less chance he'd be able to catch the fae. Fae were notoriously tricky, of course; if the undercover one figured out they were being tracked down, they may as well just disappear. Which would mean the baker's apprentice would have no chance at all of getting their name back.
Just as he was about to try and find another lead, though, he spotted someone running towards him at full sprint. He recognized the person, thankfully; Tommy was the town messenger. His job usually consisted of posting news and various ads on the board in the town square, though, which wasn't something that required a lot of running. This was not a usual occurrence.
Phil waved to Tommy, hoping to catch his attention. He'd probably have some idea as to where Tubbo was. "Hey, mate! Have you seen-"
"No time can't talk," Tommy said breathlessly, not slowing for even a step as he darted past Phil. "Gotta go fast-"
Without thinking twice, Phil turned to run after him at a slightly more reasonable pace. Thankfully - for him, at least - the teen didn't go too much further before slowing in front of a house and knocking rapidly at the door. "DELIVERY," he shouted at the top of his lungs, before opening their mailbox and dropping in a folded piece of paper, one that had been crumpled in his hand during the sprint. He then proceeded to collapse dramatically, breathing heavily and getting somewhat close to hyperventilating.
"You alright?" Phil asked when he'd caught up, somewhat out of breath himself. "What was that all about?"
Tommy shrugged, apparently unable to talk for the moment. "Delivery," he repeated between gasps.
"I can see that. Why the running, though?"
"I don't- didn't mean to- long story."
Phil nodded understanding. "It's alright, mate, I can wait." The door opened at that moment to reveal a confused townsperson, and he gestured at the mailbox. "You got mail. Sorry for the noise."
"'s from the blacksmith," Tommy added, his breathing settling down to something more normal, then stood up cautiously. "I'm gonna go back there, actually, Techno said he had more letters for me to give people. I'm not taking his deals again, though."
The mention of a deal caught Phil's ear instantly. That had "fae" written all over it. "What sort of deal?" He asked, starting to walk beside Tommy as they headed towards the blacksmith's shop.
Tommy waved off the question. "It's nothing, you can focus on your case or whatever it is you're up to."
"How- oh. The hat. I amworking on a case, but my leads aren't going anywhere."
"Fair. Alright, so basically, I was hanging out at Techno's shop, right? And Techno said I should go and do my job instead of bothering him, except I'd already done my work for today, and I told him that. And then he showed me a whole stack of letters." Tommy held up his hands as if to estimate the height; it was probably exaggerated, but sizeable nonetheless. "So obviously, I told him it would cost extra, since he didn't drop them off at the box. And then he said he'd pay me double, but only if I delivered them as fast as I could."
Phil nodded slowly. "And that's why you were sprinting around?"
Tommy shook his head. "Nope. I mean- yeah, but I didn't mean to. I was going to go at exactly the same pace as normal, because Techno already paid me, so he can't ask for the money back. I don't really know what happened, actually, but I just kinda decided to go fast? And the next thing I know, I'm just sprinting everywhere, and at that point it's too late to not keep doing that."
Strange, but ultimately, not the breakthrough Phil had hoped it would be. After all, Techno literally couldn't be a fae. He worked with iron, after all, and everyone knew fae were allergic to that. Tommy must have decided to run just for the hell of it. No magic involved.
He'd fallen a little ways behind while absorbed in his thoughts, and when he looked up again, Tommy was gone. He took the opportunity to put down some more notes.
- Tommy interaction with fae ??
- might be worth seeing if anyone else was at the smithy
He paused for a second, then added "not Techno" to the list. The process of elimination would be difficult, given the sheer number of people who might secretly be the fae, but Techno was one of the few he was confident wasn't a fae. The others being the baker's apprentice (obviously), and... maybe Niki. Phil was pretty sure she kept a small garden that included whichever plant fae were allergic to, purely for the purposes of warding them off. He didn't remember which plant; rosemary, maybe?
He wrote both Niki and her apprentice down anyway, because the point was, at least now he had a small list of people he could trust. Which... "small" was kind of an understatement. Still, it was a start.
"There you are. I've been looking for you," a voice said, breaking into his thoughts. Phil looked up from his notes to see Tubbo standing in front of him, hands in his pockets. "Niki said you wanted to talk to me, is it about a case?"
Phil almost asked how he knew, but stopped himself upon remembering the hat. "Right! Yes. How much did she tell you?"
"Not a lot. Something about trying to find a fae?"
"Yeah, something like that." Phil opened his notepad almost out of habit, as if new information would suddenly have appeared on the parchment. It hadn't, of course. "Her apprentice had their name stolen. I suspect someone in town is secretly a fae."
He'd lowered his voice on the last line, because rumors spreading was a sure way to alert the fae too soon. Thankfully, Tubbo copied him. "A fae? You're sure about that?"
Phil nodded. "Mhm. They never went near the forest, and from what I can tell, they lost their name while working at the bakery this morning. I was just talking to Tommy about a potentially magic deal, but that turned out to be a dead end."
Tubbo brightened up at that. "I might have something that can help, then! So for the past few days, right, I've been planning to stay up and work on inventions. There's never enough time during the day, you know. But every night, at almost exactly the same time- poof! I fall asleep. No warning, I'm just really, really tired all of a sudden, and if I don't get to my bed in time, I'll just fall asleep on the floor."
"And... that's related to the fae how?"
"I dunno, but it's definitely magic. And there's a few people who've been trying to convince me not to do it." Tubbo dug in his pockets, pulling out a decent handful of copper coins. "I've been cashing in, though! Some of them offered me money to actually sleep, so... you know, maybe one of them is a fae? That might count as a deal."
Phil pulled out his notebook, hesitating over what to write. As far as evidence went, Tubbo's story didn't have a lot, and there was always a chance it had nothing to do with the fae whatsoever. Still, Tubbo seemed convinced, so he put down "probably not intent on causing evil" and closed the notebook again. There went another lead. "Thanks, mate. Let me know if anything else happens, yeah?"
"Will do!"
With that, Tubbo wandered off, leaving Phil to once more puzzle over his notes, this time without any other leads to follow. All the trails had gone cold, and it seemed he was no closer to solving the mystery now than he'd been when he started.
Maybe... maybe it was time to get someone else in on the case. Having a new set of eyes was helpful, and there was always the chance someone else could give a perspective he hadn't thought of. And he already knew exactly who to ask.
"Why are you askin' me about this? I'm not really an expert on the fae."
"You don't have to! I can explain anything you don't know," Phil said, watching as Techno plunged the blade of his current project into a bucket of water. There was a hiss, and the water turned to steam around it. "I just want someone to act as like... a sounding board or something. If that's alright."
Techno shrugged, lifting the blade from the water and examining it before using an arm to wipe sweat from his brow. His hands were covered in thick leather gloves and he was wearing long sleeves besides, which was apparently necessary to prevent getting burned by stray sparks. It was also just pretty impressive, honestly. Phil could feel himself breaking a sweat just existing in the smithy. Techno seemed perfectly content with the heat, though. "Alright. I'm gonna keep workin' on this, so you might have to talk louder."
Phil nodded. He'd already anticipated that; Techno had his own job, of course, and Phil didn't want to interrupt with his detective work. "Basically, I'm trying to find the fae who stole the baker's apprentice's name. They don't know when they lost it, or who was around at the time, which leaves pretty much everyone in the town as suspects."
"And you can't just ask them? Isn't there, like... some sort of rule that they can't lie?"
"There is," Phil confirmed. "The only problem is that they can and will use loopholes so they're technically telling the truth. Meaning that if I don't phrase the question right, they could deny it. I also don't want them to suspect I'm looking for them, because at that point, they might just disappear, and we don't want that."
Techno hummed, carefully tapping at the edge of the blade. "And why not?"
"Because Niki's apprentice can't get their name back if the fae's gone."
"I see."
"Anyway, back to the clues. Tommy and Tubbo both seemed to have had some sort of event involving deals or magic lately, but both stories could be pretty easily explained." Phil frowned at his notepad. Surely there was something he'd missed here. He was positive there had been something else- no, there! "I was meaning to ask, actually- when Tommy was here earlier, did you see anyone else hanging around?"
Techno paused, considering. "I don't remember seein' anyone, no."
"Damn it."
There was a knock at the entrance of the smithy, and one of the townspeople poked his head around the doorway. "Hello! I'm just here to pick up an order, if that's alright. I do hope I'm not interrupting anything," he added, glancing over at Phil and waving.
Techno shook his head, lifting the blade up to examine it again. "You're not interruptin', don't worry. I'll just be a moment." He dunked the red-hot metal in the bucket again, waiting for a second to be sure it was safe for him to leave before going over to the counter to pick up a board. "Can I have your name?"
"Oh, right- Paul Mayor," the townsperson answered. "It's a pair of gardening shears, I think."
"Yep, there it is," Techno said, crossing off something on the board and selecting a pair of shears from the pile of finished pieces on the counter.
The townsperson smiled upon accepting the gift, though something like concern flickered across his face for a second, as if there was something he'd forgotten. "That's... that's everything, I think. Thanks!"
"No problem."
Once the townsperson was gone, Phil tried to remember where he'd been interrupted, only to come to the mildly frustrating conclusion that he'd pretty much exhausted all the leads. He didn't have anything else to share. "That's all I have," he said, lowering the notepad and putting the pencil back in his pocket. "Any thoughts? Anyone you can think of who might even possibly be a fae?"
Techno returned to his project, appearing to think that over. "I don't know anyone I'd say is a fae," he started slowly. "As for thoughts... I'm not sure what you could do without alertin' the fae that you're onto them. And- okay, honestly..." he paused to examine the blade again, seeming vaguely pleased with how it was turning out. "I feel like whoever the fae is, they didn't mean to steal anyone's name. You know? Because it seems really dumb to risk blowin' their cover over one name. There's so many bigger things they could've done."
"Like what?"
Techno turned to give Phil a deadpan look. "They've got magic, don't they? I'm sure they could think of something."
He did have a point. "That doesn't solve the problem, though," Phil countered. "Even if they didn't mean to, they still did, which means we have to find them and get the name back."
"That's... true, yeah."
There was another knock at the door then. It was the baker's apprentice this time. They were holding a napkin-wrapped cookie. "Sorry to interrupt, Niki just told me to bring this," they said hesitantly, offering it to Techno before realizing he was actively working with metal. "Um. Where do you want me to put this?"
"It's alright, I can take it." The blade went back in the bucket, and Techno hurried back to the counter. "I have something for Niki, actually, if you wouldn't mind takin' it with you?"
"Oh! Yeah, I can do that." The apprentice turned to Phil while Techno was shuffling through papers, waving a hello. "Are you working on a case?"
Phil blinked, confused for a second before once more remembering the hat. Maybe he should wear it more often; it was a little disconcerting to have everyone just know. "I am, yeah! Trying to figure out who the undercover fae is. It's..." he hesitated, because to say it wasn't going great was true, but definitely would not be welcome news. "It's going alright so far. I've gotten a few leads, just following up on those."
"I'm bein' very helpful," Techno joked, handing a folded paper to the apprentice. "He's just been tellin' me stuff. Good luck gettin' your name back, kid."
"Thanks!"
As soon as Phil was pretty sure the apprentice was out of earshot, he hissed out a long breath. "I really hope I didn't just lie to them."
Techno shrugged. "I mean, you kinda did. It doesn't seem like you're even close to solvin' this thing."
"... thanks for the encouragement." Phil buried his head in his hands, briefly considering the benefits of just running into the woods and hoping to find the right fae. That was honestly probably better than any of his chances with the process of elimination. It was also a much more stupid idea, but that was besides the point.
"What I meant to say was, don't worry about it. I'm sure they'll get their name back anyway."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah. It's just a matter of time."
Phil snorted softly. "If you're trying to make me feel better, mate, it's not going to work. The fae are..." he struggled to find the right word for a moment. "They don't give up easily, and names hold power for them. I'm just going to have to find the fae before they disappear and figure out how to trick it out of the name once I get that far."
Techno hummed acknowledgement, turning once more to his project. "Good luck, then."
"Thanks. I'll need it."
It was only about an hour later, when the sun was just starting to go down and Phil was about ready to throw down his notepad and give up detective work forever, that the baker's apprentice ran up to him, beaming happily.
"Phil! Phil, I got it back!"
Phil blinked, entirely thrown off. "You- you got your name back?" Even as he said the words, he realized he could remember their name again. Ranboo.
Ranboo nodded happily. "I don't know how- I didn't find the fae or anything, I was just cleaning up the bakery with Niki and it was back! Whatever it was you did, thank you so much."
"Yeah, it's- it's nothing. No problem at all, mate. I'm just glad I could help." Phil had no clue at all as to what he'd apparently done, but it seemed that Techno had been correct when he'd said it was only a matter of time. Thank goodness, honestly. If it hadn't been for whatever act of chance had allowed Ranboo to reclaim their name, he wasn't sure what he'd have done.
That was a lie. He'd have given up detective work. Which would've led to even more boredom in the future, so this was just the best outcome all the way around.
He did have to wonder, though, how Techno had been so sure Ranboo would get their name back. Maybe... maybe Techno secretly knew more about the fae than he let on. Maybe he even knew them enough to be able to predict their actions. That would be a really helpful skill, actually.
Either way, Phil made a mental note to ask Techno about joining him on cases more often. They could be like- like some great detective duo. Surely there was such a historical reference one could make to a famous detective and sidekick duo.
You know what? It didn't matter whether or not there was. Phil was certain that in times to come, he and Techno would be known as the best detectives in the whole world.