Chapter Text
Vivi stood by Karoo, her feet planted firmly on the worn, sea-soaked, wooden surface while her mind barely registered their presence on the small caravan titled The Going Merry. She had been pulled onboard hours ago—or maybe minutes, she couldn’t tell anymore. Time felt as if at a standstill. Nothing felt real. She clenched her hands, fingers pressing sharply into her palms, anything to feel anything other than the emptiness that had settled in after the instant shock.
Her eyes fixated on the dancing flames flickering along the empty, oh-so-silent sea where her friend once sailed. Distantly, she could feel the water from the waves rocking the ship splash up onto her face—or maybe those were tears, she didn't care much to check, she didn’t care much to do anything as a cold numbness swept its way through her body—while the hot flames surged their way out across the ocean’s surface, the two elements battling for the very right to exist that had been denied to one of her few friends out here, weeks away from any semblance of home and safety she once cherished. Igaram gave everything for her hopes and dreams of protecting her country, he knew the risks, he knew the danger, and yet he still chose to accompany her all the way. While she was ready to depart on her mission by herself, he insisted on joining her, no matter how reckless her plans may have seemed, a promise to do his best to defend his princess.
And now he was gone, blown to ashes because she let them get caught, because he insisted that he would be there alongside her, because she was too weak to protect her friend and now possibly too weak to protect her people as she watched the flames wreak their havoc brightly under the moonlit sky, dancing in celebration of the burnt up remains of Vivi’s greatest hopes.
Vivi felt a wave of devastation and hurt threaten to overwhelm her, a new emotion slowly seeping in through the dull numbness that had soaked its way through her body. Fury started bubbling under her skin, a choked-up feeling in her throat rising as she clenched her fists in red-hot anger, dangerous as the flames that danced in front of her. Anger at Crocodile for attacking her country, at Baroque Works for participating in this, at Miss All Sunday for blowing up one of her only friends out here in the middle of the sea, at the pirates that got in the way, at Igaram for letting himself be bait, and most of all, at herself for letting others get hurt because of her plan.
“Hey, you okay?” Vivi jumped as a voice snuck up behind her. She swung around quickly, forcing down her anger and schooling her expression into one of practiced calmness and politeness despite the lingering emotions squirming under her skin being anything but. She would not ruin this. She wouldn’t anger the pirates agreeing to help her. They already weren’t on great terms since that whale by Reverse Mountain, and she didn’t want to upset them further and remove her only chances of returning to Alabasta and saving her country. She wouldn’t let Igaram’s sacrifice be in vain. He had trusted them to take care of her. How could she let that final wish of his die without an attempt to see it through, especially not when it seemed to be her final chance at saving Alabasta?
Igaram’s words rang through her head, a reminder that she would have to do whatever was necessary for her people. A reminder of what she was here for, a promise made knowing the costs that may befall them on this risky but necessary journey.
Behind her was the redhead of the Strawhat Pirates. Vivi remembered her as the one attempting to bribe Igaram into paying for Vivi’s safety, especially the annoyance she expressed at her own captain when Vivi was freely let onboard.
Vivi felt confusion rise in her as she faced the welcoming and concerned expression of the girl. She expected more aggression and hostility from the girl who was denied the billion berries she had requested. But the concerned and patient auburn eyes that awaited her were anything but.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking,” Vivi tried to shrug off her confusion and lingering guilt of what happened to Igaram, but clearly she wasn’t doing too well as the other girl raised an eyebrow, doubt evident.
“Yeah, and I’m a law-abiding civilian,” the girl rolled her eyes, but after a moment’s hesitation, her face shifted into something more gentle, her eyes depicting the faintest hints of understanding, “I get it, you don’t have to tell me. Your friend was really brave.”
Vivi hesitated. She felt her chest twist as the emotions she tried so hard to bury during this conversation fought their way back to the surface. A wave of nausea overwhelmed her as she was reminded of Igaram’s sacrifice.
Karoo noticed and gently pressed his head up against Vivi’s hand, the soft cotton of his hat a comforting reminder that she wasn’t alone.
The redhead smiled softly, but Vivi could see hints of sadness pulling at the corners of her eyes. She looked like she was about to say something, but taking a closer glance at Vivi, she hesitated.
“I’m sure you must be tired. Follow me,” the redhead placed her palm in Vivi’s, a simple gesture as she led the blue-haired girl forward across the deck.
Her hand was rough, covered in callouses and scabbed over scars, yet it felt so soft. It was closed lightly around Vivi’s hand, gently as if scared to squeeze too hard, but tight enough that it provided the grounding Vivi needed to keep her from fully falling into the depths of her thoughts out in front of everyone. It was her guide through an intricate maze, a light in the middle of a dark forest, warmth in the middle of Drum Island’s cold winters. It was safety and security that Vivi hadn’t felt since Alabasta.
And Vivi didn’t know how to feel about that.
She didn’t register entering the room until there was a distinct absence in Vivi’s hand, the comfort being peeled away in a way that split Vivi apart, leaving her trapped between a longing for more and a reminder of the reality in which the two were simply strangers. Hell, she didn’t even know the redhead’s name yet—or maybe she had heard it and forgotten, her mind wasn’t working to its best in these moments. The redhead quietly and swiftly made her way across the neatly decorated and well-lived room. She pulled on one of two strings dangling from the ceiling, releasing a hammock stored from above.
“I hope this is okay,” the redhead spoke, her voice sincere and gentle. Vivi opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. “It would’ve been nice if the shitty captain gave us some prior warning, but I guess that’s not how he works,” she shook her head with a sign, though Vivi could’ve sworn there were hints of fondness leaking onto her expression. “I’m going back out there. If you need me, I’ll be up there,” a finger pointed up toward the staircase Vivi couldn’t remember walking down.
Vivi nodded, words still failing to escape her, and the redhead took that as a sign to leave, giving a gentle smile that filled Vivi with that warmth and safety from moments prior before heading up and giving Vivi the space she so desperately needed.
Vivi froze, her mind swirling in a mess of emotions, but she couldn’t help the confusion that lingered their way to the front of her mind. Karoo pressed against her side, a quiet and concerned squawk at Vivi’s stillness.
She placed a hand on his head, a silent assurance that she was alright as she pondered the past few minutes. While barely any words had been spoken, since the moment Vivi had stepped foot on this ship, it was like the redhead understood exactly what she needed. To the point where Vivi even felt secure in her presence in a way that even Igaram hadn’t been able to make her feel on Whiskey Peak.
It was strange. The redhead should’ve been hostile. She was a past enemy after all, and moments prior, she had been trying so hard to blackmail Vivi with money to bring her to safety, yet it was nothing like that.
The redhead was a stranger, a pirate just like the people attacking her country, and yet, she felt safe, warm, kind. It didn’t make sense.
She slowly made her way to the hammock laid out by the redhead and attempted to rest, her mind still clouded by her grief, yet these kind gestures helped to shine a little light through the darkness.
As Vivi had allowed herself moments to grieve her fallen friend, she began to notice the silence. Despite the disaster on the waves earlier that had ripped Vivi’s heart into shreds, the night was fairly calm. The wind was gentle, and the waves were small. There was no rain patter to fill the background of her thoughts. No comfort in distractions from the empty void of her thoughts and the dangers of her future.
But… it was weirdly comfortable in a way where she felt safe. Despite everything that had gone wrong in the night, Vivi’s hope for her country. As much as Igaram’s death hurt, she wouldn’t lose hope. His sacrifice wouldn’t be in vain, and maybe, she had the right people with her to see this through.
Nami had watched as Vivi stood by the railings of the Going Merry, her body stiff and tense yet also so absent. It was like she both knew what was going on yet so far from the present as she stared off toward the flames dancing along the waves, clumping around the remains of the small ship her friend—Igaram, if she recalled correctly—had traveled off with.
At first, Nami had been hesitant about accepting this role. Sure, she wanted the money, but that didn’t mean she wanted to get involved with one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea the moment she entered the Grand Line, but with Luffy, she should have probably seen this coming. Nothing her captain ever got involved with ever went normally. No path under her captain would ever be the “safe route.” At this point, she should’ve just accepted that her hair would be grey by the time she reached her twenties.
But as her eyes drifted onto the princess with clenched fists by the railing, the tears on her cheeks reflecting the flames in front of her, and Nami’s heart ached.
Before Nami realized what she was doing, she reached out to the princess.
And she watched as the princess did what Nami had done for so many years and hid it all in an act to show everything was alright.
Oh.
With such a quick gesture, Nami felt a kinship with the blue-haired princess. Nami remembered the grief and the guilt she felt when it came to Bell-mère’s death, her sacrifice. She remembered in those moments, it didn’t feel real, that maybe it’d be just a nightmare that she could wake up from, that Noijiko would tease her for but ultimately be there for her with Bell-mère, and everything would be okay because they’d be safe and alive.
But it wasn’t a dream, and Bell-mère wasn’t coming back.
She remembered the feelings of anger, resentment, bitterness, and guilt as she made her deal with Arlong, the feeling of dread every time she entered that awful room where she was more of a prisoner than a navigator. The feeling that there was nothing she wanted to do more than kill the man who had murdered her mother in front of her, who held her village—everyone she loved—hostage in his grasp, while all she could do was sign her life away. The feeling of wanting nothing more than to tear him apart like he did her.
But most of all, the feeling of wanting to be able to break down over Bell-mère yet being so unable to because she knew people were relying on her, because this responsibility was now hers and hers alone.
And now, on the Going Merry, as they left the remains of what had been a noble sacrifice from Vivi’s friend, Nami could understand the princess. More than Vivi would ever know, Nami could truly see the princess because she could see it in herself before Luffy and her crew saved her.
Nami could see past that oh-so-familiar mask, that loneliness and grief, but despite wanting so desperately to give her the comfort that Luffy had given her, she knew that wasn’t what the princess needed at that moment.
Her friend had died, someone who Vivi obviously felt great guilt and remorse over. Anything Nami could try to say would simply fly over the poor girl’s obviously overwhelmed head.
So she was slow, she was gentle. She would wait for Vivi to be ready just like Luffy waited for her back at Cocoyashi.
As she led Vivi down to the women’s quarters, assuring her of the privacy down below the deck, she gave the princess room to mourn in peace all while wishing there were more she could offer.
And if she showed up later and found Vivi curled up on the hammock she had set up for her with red eyes and a flushed face covered in tears, she would never say anything, only bringing out a handkerchief and blankets as an attempt to make the princess more comfortable.