Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The audience’s energy was addictive, and the performance on stage was even more so. Hongjoong was vibing with it all but also in complete shock that he was actually attending an AURAGE concert. They were his favorite kpop group, and he had been following them since their pre debut eight years ago. He followed their successful career paths with a fever that came over him so unexpectedly that he didn’t know what to do with his newfound obsession. It helped that the eldest member was the same age as him, only a few months between them. It was fun aging up with Park Seonghwa each year. Which was even more interesting when Hongjoong’s admiration for the man turned into the biggest crush he had ever had on a celebrity. All of his friends and coworkers were aware of his obsession, and some even teased him about it. 

Being front row at the Radiance Tour concert was a dream come true for Hongjoong. He had missed the previous three due to them not coming anywhere near his tiny town, but this was their most extensive world tour to date, and he was thrilled to find that they had a stop only two hours from his hometown. He had gotten incredibly lucky to get front row and continually freaked out in the months leading up to the concert. Even more so when he realized what the vip part of his tickets meant, Hongjoong dragged his closest friend and the man’s boyfriend along with him. Yeosang was also a Halo like Hongjoong, meaning they were both fans of AURAGE. Jongho liked some of their music, but he wasn’t as big a fan as his boyfriend and nowhere near the level of Hongjoong and his obsession. 

An hour into the concert, the group was gearing up with excitement and energy. The fans fed them well, with constant cheers, fanchants, and dancing. Hongjoong’s eyes jumped from person to person, but he watched Seonghwa predominantly. The leader of AURAGE was even more beautiful in person, and the brown haired man felt for certain he was going to throw up when the meet and greet happened after the concert. What was he even supposed to say to Park Fucking Seonghwa?! He tried not to think about that and instead focused on the five man group on stage, singing along to their songs and moving his body with the music. 

And then it happened. 

Seonghwa noticed him in the crowd. 

Their eyes met, and Hongjoong froze, unable to look away or move or think. He was clearly a Seonghwa stan considering his shirt had the man’s face on it. Yeosang shoved him, trying to get him to snap out of it, but the poor man was stuck. Seonghwa walked over to the edge of the stage and knelt down. He grabbed Hongjoong’s phone and sang into it for a few seconds before returning it, giving a hand heart to Hongjoong before disappearing to the other side of the stage to interact with another fan. 

Yeosang jumped on the shorter man’s shoulders, yelling something that Hongjoong couldn’t make out. His heart raced so fast that he was surprised he could still breathe. When he finally got over the moment, he screamed at Yeosang like a fanboy, wearing the biggest smile that refused to leave. The rest of the concert flew by, and during the remaining two hours, he and Seonghwa shared several more moments of eye contact, but the man didn’t come and get his phone again. 

All in all, it was an incredibly fantastic experience for both Hongjoong and Yeosang, but soon it was time to line up for the meet and greet, and the brown haired man was once again feeling like he was going to throw up. He stood next to Yeosang and Jongho, heart pounding. He hadn’t yet looked at his concert photos and videos, knowing that if he saw the video where Seonghwa took his phone, he might pass out. The room they stood in with the other Halos was loud and rambunctious as everyone awaited the arrival of AURAGE. 

“I don’t think I can do this,” Hongjoong spoke to Yeosang, frowning. 

“Yes, you can, Hyung. You already had one interaction, and you survived it.” The man laughed.

Jongho looked around his boyfriend and grinned. “Just don’t stand there in a stupor. Actually talk to him.”

“Very helpful.” Hongjoong rolled his eyes. 

Time seemed to slow down, but then AURAGE was there, and they were making their rounds through their fans, signing autographs, taking selfies, laughing, and smiling. Wooyoung first made it to the trio, and Yeosang nearly lost his mind. 

“I am such a big fan! Oh my god! You’re so adorable!” It was Yeosang’s turn to be a fanboy, and the shorter of the three was surprised to hear that his deep voice could get so high. 

Jongho was laughing at his poor, befuddled boyfriend. 

Wooyoung was a great sport, though, and didn’t seem bothered at all. Light conversation took place as he signed all three lightsticks and took selfies with their phones before he moved on. Yunho and Mingi followed after, and then it was San. Hongjoong was intimidated by how ridiculously muscular the man was, but he melted a little bit when the younger man showed how utterly sweet and adorable he was. The moment that San moved away, Seonghwa was there, his voice sounding in Hongjoong’s ears before he turned and realized he was standing directly in front of him. 

“Oh my god.” He stopped breathing as he dove into his bag and pulled out the plush he had of Seonghwa’s AURAGE plush character. “Hi. Oh my god.” 

“Hi.” Seonghwa returned the greeting with a big, beautiful smile. “What’s your name?”

“Hon-Hongjoong, Seonghwa ssi.”

The man’s smile only grew brighter. “It is nice to meet you, Hongjoong.” He looked down as he signed the plushie and then his eyes were back up, staring into the brown haired man’s. “I saw you in the audience didn’t I?”

Hongjoong almost died right then and there as he nodded eagerly. “Y-yeah, you did. I’m a huge fan. Oh my god. I’ve been following you guys since pre debut. You’re like, my inspiration and my role model. Oh my god.”

“Just breathe, Hongjoong.” Seonghwa smiled and reached out to grasp the man’s hand as he returned the plushie. “Thank you so much for coming to the show.”

And then he was gone.

The shorter man stared where Seonghwa had just been, his hand still floating in the air where it had just been touched by Park Fucking Seonghwa. 

After that night, Hongjoong remained on cloud nine for a whole month after the concert. There wasn’t a single person who hadn’t heard about his meeting with Seonghwa. He watched his videos of the concert so many times that he had them memorized even when the concert blackout hit him and stole most of the moments he didn’t record. The moment that Seonghwa took his phone was one of his favorite videos, and he watched it every morning after waking up and every night before going to sleep. The leader of AURAGE was his shining star in an otherwise bleak existence. 

Hongjoong was not an idol. He was not a celebrity. He was really nothing special, in his opinion. He lived in a small town with only twenty thousand or so people and worked in a cell phone store as a salesman. It was a rather deadend job, but it paid the bills and allowed him to splurge on his hobbies. He had his best friend, he had his work bestie, and his family supported and loved him, but there was nothing overly special about the man. He worked hard to achieve what he had in life and was gunning for a promotion at work, but otherwise, he had a mediocre life. One where he spent eight hours a day at work five days a week, and the rest of the time he spent at home writing songs that would never see the light of day. Sometimes he would even work around in a studio app he had purchased, producing songs for fun, but he was the only one that ever listened to them. 

Sometimes, he would go out with Yeosang or Yeosang and Jongho. Occasionally, he would go see his family. He played video games on and off when the mood struck him, kept himself in shape, listened to music, watched TV, etc. 

He followed every single update he could with AURAGE, and yes, his office in his home was a homage to the group. He gobbled up most of their merchandise the second it was released, including all of their albums, a few select posters on the walls, plushies, and keychains. His brother made fun of him for his obsession, calling it an addiction. At one point, Bumjoong even held a mock intervention for the simp, which Yeosang, Jongho and the rest of his family attended. It was all in good fun, but Hongjoong had not been amused. At least not initially. 

The day the news came out about Seonghwa, which would inevitably change Hongjoong’s entire life, was a day he would never forget. 

It was an increasingly slow day at work, with only a few customers coming in. It was nearing the end of the day, with only an hour left of work, and Hongjoong was scrolling through his phone when he received a notification from Prism Entertainment’s app. Thinking that it might be something about a new album release (as it had been six months since the concert), he clicked on the notification faster than he thought was humanely possible. 

The notification was a notice of changes within AURAGE.

Seonghwa was leaving the group. 

Hongjoong’s heart fell into his stomach as he read over it all.

[PRISM ENTERTAINMENT OFFICIAL STATEMENT]

Dear Halos,

We want to take a moment to thank you for your unwavering support of AURAGE. For the past seven years, we have witnessed the growth of this incredible group, and it has been possible because of the dedication and love of every fan in the Halo community.

Today, we must share an important update regarding the future of AURAGE.

After much consideration, we have made the difficult decision that Park Seonghwa will no longer continue as a member of AURAGE. This decision was reached after thoughtful discussions with Seonghwa and the other members. We ask for your understanding and respect for his privacy during this time. Seonghwa has been an invaluable part of AURAGE, and we are grateful for the years of dedication and passion he has shown.

Moving forward, Jeong Yunho will take on the position of leader, and AURAGE will continue as a four-member group. The remaining members—Yunho, San, Wooyoung, and Mingi—are committed to continuing AURAGE’s legacy and bringing you more exciting music and performances.

Prism Entertainment is dedicated to ensuring AURAGE’s future projects are delivered with the same quality and innovation that you’ve come to love and expect. We ask for your continued support and love as the group embarks on this next chapter of their journey. We know that this news may come as a surprise, but we are confident that AURAGE will remain strong with your trust and encouragement.

Further details about upcoming releases and schedules will be provided soon. Thank you for your understanding and continued support of AURAGE during this transition.

With gratitude,
Prism Entertainment

He read and reread the information, needing help understanding what was happening or why. Why was Seonghwa leaving?! He was the leader! He was the Radiant! What was AURAGE going to do without their light? 

Seconds later, his phone rang, and he quickly answered when he saw it was Yeosang. 

“What the fuck is happening?” He barked into his phone, knowing Yeosang had seen the message too. 

“I don’t know, but I am panicking. Why is he leaving? There has to be a reason, and fucking Prism isn’t telling us.”

The two continued to freak out for the next thirty minutes, but a late customer pulled Hongjoong off the phone. He didn’t feel like dealing with the person in the slightest, having a complete breakdown over the loss of his bias. 

It was two days later before he and Yeosang figured out what had caused Seonghwa to leave the group. Or rather, what caused him to be removed. That was the conclusion the two Halos came to. They didn’t believe for a second that the man had left willingly. It was a PR scandal that had forced Prism’s hand. 

The news was everywhere. 

Park Seonghwa had come out as gay. It was an absolute scandal in the kpop world, and one that sent waves through Korea and the kpop industry. While AURAGE wasn’t the biggest kpop fourth gen group, they were highly successful, possibly the second or third most popular kpop fourth gen act. Hongjoong didn’t even have time to process the fact that the man he had been pining over for the last eight years was gay. Probably because it mattered little in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t as if it improved his chances of ever being in a relationship with the man. There was still a lot dividing them. 

Over the next few months, Halos became largely divided. On one side, there were those who supported Seonghwa and commended him for having the courage to come forward about his sexuality. Petitions were made to Prism Entertainment, asking Seonghwa to be allowed to return. On the other side were the fans who supported Seonghwa in whatever endeavors he wanted to take but were worried about the future of AURAGE. Then some rallied around Prism Entertainment and condemned the once leader for what he had done, citing that he had single handily ruined their lives by breaking the group up and flaunting his lifestyle in their faces. 

Hongjoong continued to follow updates on AURAGE and bought their album when it came out later that year, but it wasn’t the same. He supported his group regardless, as he was a Halo and a fan of everyone. Not just his bias, but his enthusiasm had been crushed. Seonghwa was nowhere to be found in the news. He had gone to ground, and no one saw or heard a peep from him. It left Hongjoong in a desert, wishing for an oasis, but not even mirages came to torment him with the promise of updates on the man he was so crazy about. All hope was lost. Clearly the idol had no wish to be involved in the media or entertainment scene anymore. Those who supported him begged on social media for him to partake in a solo career, but he was silent on all socials. 

Ten months had passed since Seonghwa had spoken out on any of his social media accounts. When he finally resurfaced, he posted a simple message to all of his fans: one of hope, thankfulness, and love. 

To my dearest Halos,

It has been a long time since I last reached out, and I can only imagine how difficult these past few months have been for many of you. I want to begin by sincerely thanking each and every one of you for your overwhelming support, kindness, and patience during this time. Your words, whether expressed through messages, letters, or simply silent thoughts, have been a source of comfort for me in ways I cannot fully describe.

I understand that my departure from AURAGE has left many questions, and while I cannot address every detail, I want to be honest with you. The last year has been a challenging journey, not only for me but for everyone involved. However, I have always believed in the power of truth and authenticity, and coming out as gay was a deeply personal decision that I stand by, even though it came with its own set of consequences.

I know that some of you may feel disappointed or let down, and for that, I am truly sorry. My hope was never to hurt anyone, but rather to live as the person I am, openly and honestly. If that has shaken your belief in me, I hope, in time, you can understand the weight of that decision and the reasons behind it.

Despite my departure, I ask that you continue to support the remaining members of AURAGE. They are some of the most talented and dedicated people I have ever had the privilege to work alongside, and I have no doubt that their future is as bright as ever. Yunho, San, Wooyoung, and Mingi still carry the spirit of AURAGE, and I am confident that they will continue to shine in ways that will make all of you proud.

While this chapter of my life with AURAGE has come to an end, it does not mean goodbye. I hope that whatever comes next, I can continue to earn your trust and support. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for standing by me, for believing in me, and for reminding me that love and acceptance are always stronger than fear.

I look forward to the day when our paths cross again.

With all my love,
Park Seonghwa

The message managed to get Hongjoong through the next mediocre month of his life. Fans were abuzz with what the words “does not mean goodbye” meant. Was Seonghwa going to embark on a solo career? What company in Korea would work with an openly gay idol? Was he going to go international to find his next set of fame? Perhaps he was looking to work in a different sect of the entertainment industry, or not at all. Everyone knew that Seonghwa had a lot of other talents and interests. Would he remain in the public eye, or would he really just move on with his life and be a normal everyday citizen? Hongjoong hoped the latter wouldn’t be the case. He couldn’t imagine not seeing Seonghwa ever again. 

It was another slow day at work, but he was working with his work wife/bestie, Kiandra, so it wasn’t so bad. The pair sat at a far table together while Kia told him about the latest idiot she was thinking about dating. 

“Okay, let’s call this one Salami.” She started out with a bland look on her face, even as Hongjoong raised an eyebrow at her. 

“Salami. Are you serious with this? Why are we calling him Salami?”

Kiandra always used code names for the men in her life. Over the two years the pair had been working together, she had come up with all sorts of nicknames. Dodge, Skillet, Blueberry, just to name a few. 

“Because we met at the grocery store, and he was buying salami.” She giggled while Hongjoong shook his head with a smile on his face. 

“Okay, Salami it is. Tell me all about Salami.” He put his phone down, where he had just been staring at his concert video of Seonghwa’s interaction for the millionth time. 

“So I really like Salami. He’s super nice and cute, and he gives really good hugs. But like, his job kind of has him all over the place, and I’m already feeling too clingy.”

“Sounds about right,” Hongjoong added. 

“Hey! I can’t help that I’m high maintenance.”

“I’ve told you this before: you just need to get yourself a mental boyfriend. My mental relationship with Seonghwa is the most healthy relationship I’ve ever been in.”

“That man doesn’t know you!” Kia said, using the same words she always used when Hongjoong spoke about his mental boyfriend, Seonghwa. 

“That’s not true! You know I met him and had that interaction at the concert.”

“So? He’s forgotten about your ass by now.” She laughed. “Oh, customer. You’re up. I got the last one.”

Hongjoong sighed as he looked out the front window, noting the car that had just pulled up.

He stood up from his spot, grabbed his work tablet, and walked over to one of the nearby workstations, waiting for the customer to get out of their car. He knew his manager preferred that they meet the customer at the door, but he wasn’t working, so Hongjoong felt he could be a little lazier. “Wish me luck on this being an activation. I’m gonna call it now with that fancy ass car. It’s a ten line business account with sim only activations, and they’re going to want to buy a few speakers, get insurance on their already owned devices, and they’ll want to add a tablet.”

“Yeah, right, keep dreaming there.” Kia rolled her eyes.

Hongjoong laughed, his eyes going down to the tablet in front of him as he unlocked it and pulled up the main app that was used for anything relating to customers. He heard the door open but was busy logging in, so he kept his head down when he greeted the customer. “Hey, welcome in.”

As he looked up, all of Hongjoong’s air was knocked out of his lungs. 

Walking inside without a care in the world was the one and only Park Fucking Seonghwa, pulling his sunglasses off his eyes. 

Chapter Text

Kim Hongjoong lived in a smallish town in Montrose Colorado. The population barely reached over twenty thousand. It wasn’t the smallest town, but it wasn’t a bustling metro either. Life in his city was slower, quieter, and calmer. Perhaps not as calm as some wanted it to be, but it was nice. Mountain views were aplenty; it never got too hot, but the winters could sometimes be harsher than anyone wished to deal with. He was born and raised there, his parents and older brother having relocated to the city while his mother was still pregnant with him. It was the only city and state he really knew. He had never traveled anywhere else except for his AURAGE concert. He knew that other places in the world were far different from his own city. So why was Park Fucking Songhwa in his?

“Hi, I was looking to start up service with you all?” Seonghwa spoke up, asking a question rather than stating a fact. His accent was noticeable, but his English was still impeccable. This was not a surprise for Hongjoong; he had spent long enough stanning the group to know the man had a great grasp of the English language. 

Hongjoong continued to stand there frozen, barely registering what had been said. He was at work, though, and he knew he needed to be professional. He snapped himself free and immediately thought that maybe this wasn’t Park Seonghwa but someone that looked uncannily like him. That was the only thing that his mind could make sense of. Why else would a fucking k pop idol, no matter how disgraced, be in his fucking store?! 

The brown haired man nodded his head. “Yeah? Well, you’re in-in the right pl-place.” Oh my god. He wanted to die. He couldn’t be stuttering and simping at work! Clearing his throat, he navigated to the proper program to start the process. It wasn't Seonghwa. It couldn't be. It didn't make any sense for Park Fucking Seonghwa to be in his store in fucking Montrose, Colorado. The man was an idol. He was a Korean citizen living in freaking South Korea! Clearly, Hongjoong had lost his mind and was now seeing things. Maybe he missed his idol so much that he was hallucinating. Yes, that was definitely it. 

Taking a few deep breaths, he met the man's eyes, and fuck, how was it not Seonghwa?

“Can I see your driver's license, please?” He tried to remain cool, professional, and calm. On the very high chance that this was not Park Fucking Seonghwa, he didn't need the man giving him a bad rating for being a fucking moron. 

“Sure.” The lookalike smiled and grabbed his wallet, pulling out his driver's license and handing it over to Hongjoong easily. 

This was the defining moment that would tell Hongjoong the imposter's name. Then, he could finally settle his nerves and not keep acting so unprofessional. He was surprised that Kia wasn't making fun of him already. He glanced in her direction, though he noticed she wasn't paying him any mind. Her head was in her phone and nothing else. He frowned and reached out to grab the man's offered license, putting it down on the workstation so he could snap a picture with his tablet to quickly input all the information. 

Lining his tablet camera up with it, he stared down at the picture and nearly fell over. Park Fucking Seonghwa. His name was right there on the license. He wasn't an imposter or a look alike! 

“What?” He put the tablet down, holding onto the edge of the workstation for dear life. “You're Park Fu- You're Park Seonghwa!? What?!” 

The idol smiled politely, but it was easy to see the tension in his shoulders, too, probably hoping that the employee wasn't about to lose his mind and act foolish. Or, well, more ridiculous than he already had acted anyway. 

“Yes. Hi.” He continued to smile.

Kia's attention was finally pulled from her phone, hearing the commotion. She looked between the two and sighed. “Oh, my lord. Hongjoong go. Just go.” She stood up and joined the pair, pushing the short man out of the way. 

Hongjoong nodded, feeling like he was in a stupor, as he wandered away to the breakroom. 

He took several more deep breaths. None of this made any sense. He had just looked at the man's American fucking driver's license. Not only that, but it was also a Colorado license with a Montrose address. What was happening?! How was this happening?! He needed to ask. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he just stood in the back and didn't talk to the man he had been simping over for so many years. A man that was now apparently living in America, in Colorado, in Montrose! Who did that?! Who left South Korea to move to fucking Montrose, Colorado? Okay, yes, Hongjoong’s parents did just that, but they weren't idols! They were nobodies just like him. 

After a few minutes of breathing and calming down, he left the room and returned to the sales floor. 

Kia and Seonghwa were chatting easily without any care in the world. Hongjoong was instantly envious. Why couldn't he be like that? To have an actual, real conversation with Seonghwa would be a dream. Maybe he could try it. 

“I want to keep the phone I have. It's still new, and there isn't anything wrong with it. But I don't know if it will work on your service…” Seonghwa paused and looked towards Hongjoong as he joined the pair at the counter. 

“Where did you get the phone?” The shorter man jumped into work mode, thinking it would help him ease into things. 

“Korea,” Seonghwa answered quickly enough. “I bought it from SK Telecom, and most of their phones are unlocked, but I've not checked to see if it will work here.”

“Oh, we can check for you,” Kia piped in, looking at Hongjoong as she passed by him to grab a SIM card from a demo phone. “What kind of phone is it?”

The black haired man turned to face Kiandra as she spoke to him, leaving Hongjoong to stare at the man's backside subtly. 

“It's an iPhone 13.” Hwa's smooth voice answered. 

“You're sure you don't want to upgrade? I mean, we are on the 16 now.” The shorter man pulled Seonghwa’s attention back to him and immediately froze under his gaze again. 

“I don't know. It doesn't seem to be much in the way of changes, and my phone works fine. I don't see the point in changing something that isn't broken.” The singer shrugged. “Are you okay now?”

Hongjoong nearly jumped when that question was asked. “No. Not in the slightest, but I'm at work and trying to remain professional.” Clearly, his mouth brain filter was malfunctioning for him to be so completely honest with the idol.

At least it made Seonghwa laugh, though. 

Kia turned around with a triumphant smile on her face, Seonghwa’s phone in one hand. “It's unlocked!” Staring between the two, she narrowed her eyes again. “Oh, he is most definitely losing it inside right now. He's obsessed with you. To the extreme.”

Hongjoong shot the girl an angry glare. “Let's not over exaggerate, please.” If someone wanted to walk in and kidnap him, he'd allow it. He would willingly go with them and never look back. 

The idol's smile grew wider, though. “I think it's cute. It's okay. I'm happy to see a fan, even here in Montrose.”

The brown haired man sputtered and straightened himself to stand taller. “I mean, I'm only like one of two in the whole city probably, but yeah, we exist. Um, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here?” He had to know! And he certainly had to tell Yeosang, too. 

Seonghwa’s smile faltered at the question, but he was practiced at faking smiles, so the lapse was only momentary. “I moved here. Just last week, actually.”

Hongjoong just stood there, staring at the beautiful creature as if he had gone insane. Who the fuck did that? Why Montrose? What was he doing in fucking America?! All of the questions he wanted to ask refused to come out. Kiandra came to the rescue once again as she shoved her way back in front of the workstation. 

“Go touch some grass, please. Mr. Park, let's get you set up. Your phone will work on our network. I'll just need to activate your new line and get you a SIM. Are you getting a new number or bringing one over?”

The brown haired man slowly moved away from the pair, letting Kia work while he sat at another workstation. Then, he immediately went to text Yeosang. 

Hongjoong:
u are never gonna believe who is in my fucking store rn

Yeosang:
Santa Claus?

Hongjoong:
He might as well be, he's just as mythical and legendary!

Yeosang:
Arebyou going delulu again?

Hongjoong:
No. Park Fucking Seonghwa is in my store!!!!!! 
He's moved to Montrose of all places and is in my store and I'm trying to fuckint die or lose my mind

Yeosang:
Liar
Real good joke bro
Bye

Hongjoong frowned at his phone, as if it were the one offending him. 

Hongjoong:
I'm literally so fr
He is in my store
Kia had to take over cause I was losing it

Yeosang:
Can you go away
I'm trying to get Jongie in the mood
Good day!
I said good day!

Hongjoong rolled his eyes at his phone before sending an eggplant to his friend and putting his phone down. Whatever, it was Yeosang's loss. The audacity of anyone preferring to have sex with their boyfriend instead of coming to Joong's store to find the truth and evidence of Park Fucking Seonghwa's existence in Montrose was wild! 

The brown haired man remained in his seat, watching his work bestie and his mental boyfriend like a wolf. Seonghwa was so fucking beautiful. There was no makeup on his face, hair so silky and beautiful as it framed his face, long slender legs, and that tiny fucking waist. His clothing fit his style so well and was obviously expensive. Why had Seonghwa moved to Montrose?! Of all the places he could have gone, what had made him choose a city in the middle of nowhere? Sure, it was a beautiful town, and the mountains were literally right there, but what? 

“Please keep staring at my customer like you want to eat him.” Kiandra's voice snapped the brown haired man out of his lull, not having realized how long he had sat there staring at the man. Kia had turned to glare at him, and Seonghwa was chuckling behind her. 

“What? I'm not! Oh my god.” The shorter male sat up straighter, feeling the heat coming from his face and knowing he looked like a tomato. In all actuality, yes, he would love to do a lot of things to Seonghwa, but those were all things he would never voice out loud IN FRONT of Park Fucking Seonghwa. 

A part of Hongjoong thought he was dreaming, and his brain simply couldn’t wrap around everything that was happening. None of it made sense. Was he in a self insert fanfic?! If that was the case, then he was pretty sure he would have already bent Seonghwa over one of the workstations and fucked him right there in the middle of his store. That’s what happened in fanfics, after all. At least the one shots that he had read. He read a lot of those. Oops. 

Kiandra rolled her eyes, and Hongjoong glared at her, but then Seonghwa was walking over to him and all of his air left his lungs again. The brown haired man gulped and tried to act cool, but was seriously failing. 

“I appreciate you, Hongjoong. You’ve not acted like many other fans I’ve met since coming to America, and I thank you for trying to remain professional. You’re doing a great job.” There was a smile on his face the whole time. 

Hongjoong thought about melting onto the floor, for his body certainly felt like liquid goo. “You’re welcome? I’m sorry, I’m really trying. I’m a super huge fan, but you’re a person just like everyone else, idol or not, and it isn’t right for anyone to treat you as anything else but human.”

Seonghwa reached out and placed a hand on Hongjoong’s own, making the man’s heart skip fifty beats. How he was still sitting there and conscious was a miracle. “It means a lot to me that you think that way.” He pulled his hand away, a blush of his own on his face, but one that Hongjoong didn’t even register. 

“I mean, I want to ask a million questions, but I won’t. But can I say something? Be-before you go.” He assumed that the singer was about to leave after the whole activation process had been completed. 

“Of course.” 

“I just want to commend you for what you did. You know, coming out and everything. It meant a lot to me when you did it. I’m also part of the community, and seeing an idol, and not just any idol, but the one I’ve looked up to the most? Yeah, it was a lot. It means a lot still. So no matter what happened, or could still happen, I want you to know that I support your decision and will always support you in whatever endeavors you partake in next.”

There were definitely tears shining in the idol’s eyes as he nodded his head and looked skyward for a second, clearly trying to get the tears under control. “Thank you.” The words were whispered, and again, his hand was on Hongjoong’s, this time squeezing it before he stepped away. “Thank you, Kiandra, for helping me out.” The black haired man turned away from the woman and bowed his head to her. “I hope you both have a good night. Maybe I’ll see you around.” He gave a little wave to both of them and then walked out of the door. 

Hongjoong had to fight against the desire to run after the man, afraid he would never see him again. Was this his life now? Living in the same city as Park Fucking Seonghwa?! How was he going to survive? Okay, sure, in reality, he’d probably never see Seonghwa again. Maybe if he came in to pay his bill or add a line of service, but otherwise, what were the chances that they’d see each other again? 

The brown haired man’s head dropped onto the counter in front of him, and he groaned. 

Kiandra was suddenly next to him, laughing before she shoved him. “I can’t believe how horribly awkward you just acted.”

Hongjoong turned his head so he could see her, his cheek plastered to the surface. “Screw you! You were absolutely no help!”

“At least I didn’t tell him that you were mentally dating him.”

Hongjoong groaned and looked away. “I would have fired you if you had.”

“You can’t fire me. You’re not a manager, and what would you do without me?” She laughed again and patted his back for a second. “Guess I can no longer say that that man doesn’t know you huh? A shame.”

The rest of the night passed by quickly, as they had a small rush of customers an hour later before it died down twenty minutes till close. Hongjoong drove to McDonald’s on his way home and grabbed dinner. He was planning to go directly home, but instead, he found himself driving to Yeosang’s and Jongho’s apartment. He grumbled to himself as he climbed their stairs, food bag in his hand. Was it rude that he was about to eat in front of them and didn’t bring them anything? Oh well, he didn’t care. Yeosang was going to listen to him, damn it. 

Knocking on the door, he waited, straining to hear anything inside. He would be so mad if they were still going at it like rabbits! Luckily for him, that was not the case, as Jongho answered the door, fully fucking clothed. 

“Oh, hey, Hongjoong. Come in.” He stepped back to let the shorter man inside before he closed the door. 

“Babe!” He yelled through the apartment. “Hongjoong’s here.” Jongho walked the short distance over to the couch and sat down, returning to whatever tv show he was watching. 

The brown haired man looked around, not spotting Yeosang in the adjoining kitchen. “Where is he?”

“Bedroom,” Jongho mumbled, barely taking his eyes off of the tv to answer. 

“Right.” Hongjoong narrowed his eyes at his other friend and went to find Yeosang. The bedroom door was open, so he let himself in. Yeosang was sitting on the bed with a book in his hands, clearly not giving a shit that his friend had come to visit. 

“Wow, can't even be bothered to get up and greet me.” Hongjoong rolled his eyes in exasperation. 

“No one can get it up today, so why should I get up for you?” Yeosang put his book down and sighed. 

“Well, that's TMI.” The brown haired man removed his shoes before he climbed onto the bed and sat next to Yeosang. 

“I'm sexually frustrated, Hongjoong. My boyfriend clearly thinks I'm ugly and won't break away from his stupid TV show to get in here. What do you want from me?”

“Not so much TMI is what I want. Ugh, please stop.” He quickly plugged his ears and started singing. 

The other man reached over and pulled the older's fingers from his ears. “Stop being dramatic. And don't eat that in my bed.” He reprimanded just as Hongjoong pulled a few fries from the bag. 

“Then get out of bed. I'm starving. I didn't have lunch today.”

“God! Fine, you're so needy today.”

The shorter man grinned and jumped off the bed, heading into the kitchen, where he sat down at the island on a barstool. He could hear whatever show Jongho was watching, all in Korean. Probably a K drama. 

Yeosang joined him at the island seconds later, but he didn't take a seat. Instead, he leaned over it, putting his head in his hand, which was perched on the counter by his elbow. He looked miserable. Poor Yeosang. “Did you go and touch grass?”

Hongjoong pulled his food out and took a few bites before he answered. “No, I did not. Seonghwa is living in Montrose. We had a whole discussion, and I'm sure I made a fool of myself. Kia didn't help. She made things so much worse. Fuck. I'm so embarrassed. I wanted to ask him so many questions but didn't want to make him uncomfortable. He appreciated that, though.” The brown haired man smiled at the memory of Hwa's words. “He even touched my hand. Twice.” 

Yeosang just stared at him with a sad frown. “I think we might need an intervention for you. Jongie?” His deep voice sounded too loudly next to Hongjoong's ear, making the man jump. 

“God, my ear!”

“Yeah?” Jongho looked into the kitchen from his seat on the couch, titling himself backward so he could see the pair. 

Yeosang smiled at him. “Hongjoong needs help. Get off your show and come here. Please?”

The youngest turned the TV off and stood up. The second he was next to the pair, he wrapped an arm around Yeosang's waist and pressed a kiss to his temple, making Hongjoong raise a brow at the statuesque man. So much for relationship problems. It sounded like Yeosang was just being dramatic. 

“What's wrong hyung?” The man looked down at Hongjoong with a clear expression of worry. 

“Literally nothing is wrong. Your boyfriend doesn't want to believe me. Park Fucking Seonghwa walked into my store today. He is living in Montrose now. He touched my hand twice! He thanked me for treating him like a human, not an idol without emotions. I made a fool of myself and really just wished I could disappear.” He sighed before grabbing his burger and diving into it. 

Jongho nodded his head several times. “Huh. Weird place for him to move to. But shit, that's really cool, man. Glad you didn't die from it all.” The young man laughed. 

Yeosang turned to glare at him. “What? Jongie, my love, please stop feeding his delusions. Seonghwa was not in his store. There is literally no way this is true.”

Jongho smiled at his boyfriend. “You're so cute when you're mad.” He reached a hand up to pinch the man's cheek, which only furthered to sour the man's mood further. 

Finishing off his fries, the eldest threw the packing away and continued on his burger. “Thank you, Jongho. I'm glad someone realizes the truth to my words.” Leveling a finger at Yeosang. “I hope you run into him at the store or something and are caught just as off guard as I was. Then I can come along and laugh in your face when you make a fool of yourself like I did. And I will tell you that I was right and that I tried to warn you but noooo you didn't want to listen.” 

The muscular man sighed, “Both of you are delusional.” He caught his boyfriend's eye, and suddenly, the pair were standing in front of one another, Jongho's hands on his boyfriend's waist and their foreheads resting against one another. 

Hongjoong ignored them and finished off his burger in peace, even as he barely heard whispers between the two, causing him to roll his eyes. Standing up, he went and threw away his bag. When he turned to go back to his seat, the two were kissing, and he groaned. “Gross. I'll let myself out. Don't have too much fun, please.”

He heard an affirmative sound from one of them but quickly made his exit. 

⧭

The next few days flew by. Work was increasingly busy, which helped Hongjoong not think about what Seonghwa was doing in Montrose. He was a day away from a day off and was more than ready for it. His little introverted heart needed a break from all the talking he had done with customers. He had a vacation planned, too, and while he had literally no plans for anything but staying at home, he was looking forward to it nonetheless. Maybe he would actually leave his house to go and find Seonghwa. No, no, he would not. That idea sounded so creepy to him. 

The day before his day off proved to be a very slow day. Kiandra was on a different shift from Hongjoong and had already complained about it multiple times. She didn't like closing, but college was back in session, and she had to close on days that she had classes. Hongjoong only really worked morning shifts on those days, and he wasn't the biggest fan of the change either. He wasn't a morning person, so having to be at work and talking to people so early was gross. It was twelve o'clock, and his manager told him to take lunch. He had coffee for lunch, thinking it would help him wake up. 

He sat in the back, sipping the warm liquid with a happy smile on his face. Kiandra suddenly opened the door and pointed at him. “Your boyfriend is here. And he just asked about you.”

Hongjoong nearly spit his coffee out from his shock. “What? Why's he asking for me?” He stood up in a hurry.

“I don't know. Do I look like a mind reader? He just came in and asked if you were here. I told him you were, and now here I am. How much longer do you have on lunch?”

“I mean, I've only been back here for like ten minutes. It doesn't matter. I'll clock back in right now. Oh my god. Oh my god. Why does he want to talk to me? Oh my god. I can't breathe.” Hongjoong held his hand to his chest, forcing his heart to slow its outrageous beating. 

Kia rolled her eyes. “What happened to he's just a human? Calm yourself, damn you fucking simp.” Despite her words, she had a smile on her face, clearly finding her work bestie's behavior to be amusing. 

The brown haired man clocked back in on his phone and collected himself before he walked out the door. His manager raised his brow, asking without asking why he was back from lunch so soon. 

Seonghwa stood near the door at one of the phone displays, looking up as Hongjoong walked out. He smiled, and it nearly swept the shorter man out of reality. He didn't even realize he was smiling back until his cheeks started hurting from just how hard his smile was. 

“Hi, welcome back. What-what can I help you with?” God, he wished his manager wasn't there. It was hard enough to keep himself sane and professional around the black haired beauty, but it was ten times worse knowing his manager was standing there watching the interaction. 

“I just wanted to give you something.” Seonghwa’s smile brightened further as he held out a piece of paper. 

Hongjoong reached out to take it and unfolded the small paper, seeing a local number on it. “Ummm…”

“Call me sometime. Or text. Either one.” 

Hongjoong hastily looked up, confusion and shock on his face. “Is this… This is your number?”

Seonghwa laughed. “Yes, silly. Please call me or text me, whatever works best for you. Whichever. Or don't. No pressure.” The black haired man looked worried, big boba eyes shining. “I just realized how incredibly pre-presumptuous this was of me. I'm so sorry. I'm not used to doing this kind of thing. I'll just take that back.” The idol reached out to try to take the paper back, but Hongjoong held it to his chest. 

“No, no, this is mine now. I will definitely call you. Wow. I, wow. Yes. I'll call. Tonight!” He quickly added without thinking. “Yeah, I'll call you tonight. Is that okay?” He was so bashful it was ridiculous. 

Though Seonghwa was also being incredibly bashful. “Yeah, tonight works. I don't have any plans.” He seemed to gain some confidence as he nodded and smiled again. “Okay, I'll talk to you tonight, Hongjoong.” He waved and walked out of the door. 

Hongjoong remained standing at the front display, holding the paper in his hands. The paper that had Park Fucking Seonghwa’s number on it, staring where the man had just been. The kpop idol that had just given a nobody like Hongjoong his phone number and asked him to call or text him sometime. 

“Earth to Hongjoong.” Kiandra waved her hand in front of his face, making him rapidly blink his eyes and pull himself from his stupor. 

“What just happened?” He questioned her and everything else, too. 

“I mean, it looked to me like your mental boyfriend is trying to become your real boyfriend.” She laughed. 

The brown haired man shook his head in disbelief. “No way, that’s not why he gave me his number. Probably not, anyway. He’s probably just trying to make friends?”

“I don’t think so, honey.” Kia walked away, shaking her own head this time. 

Hongjoong quickly followed behind her. “Why don’t you think so?”

“Umm, I have eyes? And ears, for that matter. He likes you. The way he was looking at you was undeniable. He had that same look in his eye when he was here last. He kept glancing your way when he didn’t think anyone was looking. Pft! You two are perfect for each other because you’re both simps.”

“Hey! I’m not a simp.” Joong glared. 

Kiandra turned to face him fully, hands on her hips. “Kim Hongjoong, you are a simp to the most extreme level of simpdom.”

Chapter Text

Work picked up significantly after Seonghwa left, which was a blessing for the salesman, as it meant he didn’t have time to struggle to breathe or worry about floating out of the building if he let his thoughts get the best of him. Instead, he was forced to focus on his customers, the transactions they brought, and the sales he got. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy when he finished with the final customer in the store and looked at his watch to see that it was past time for him to leave. He quickly gathered up his stuff, told Kiandra and his other coworker goodbye, and flew out the door. He was in his Jeep before they could register that he had left. 

Hongjoong drove straight home, but along the way, he called Yeosang, unable to keep the news to himself anymore. 

“You’ve got good timing. I just walked in the door.” Yeosang greeted with a chuckle. 

The brown haired man chuckled with him. “Great timing. I’m still driving home. Fuck I hate getting off work at five. The traffic is so stupid.” He groaned as he sat at the first stop light out of the shopping center where his store was situated. 

“How was work today anyway?”

The man grinned, losing his sour expression. Yeosang had asked, and it would be wrong of him not to answer, right?

“It was truly amazing.”

“Oh? That’s good, hyung!”

“Yes, because Seonghwa came by again and gave me his fucking phone number!” Hongjoong’s voice rose until he was yelling at the very end. 

“Oh god, not this again.” Yeosang started, and the brown haired man could hear the eye roll in his voice, which he didn’t think was even a physical possibility. “Listen carefully to me, Hongjoong. You did not get Park Seonghwa’s phone number today. You do, however, need a break. Clearly, you’ve begun to lose your mind due to working too much. When is vacation?”

“No, you listen carefully to me, you asshat.” Hongjoong retorted with a snark. “Park Fucking Seonghwa gave me his phone number today, and I’m calling him tonight. Actually, I’m gonna fucking call him when I get home. Oh, I should probably eat first, right? Nah that’d be a bad idea. What if I eat something, and it fucks my stomach up? No, I need to abstain from food so I can get through this phone call. Oh my god, what are we going to talk about? What should I talk to him about?”

“I think you should ask him if Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny have phone numbers. If they do, get them too.”

“I’m sick of you.” The brown haired man groaned. 

“Look, if you want to keep to your dululu over your boyfriend, that's fine, but I’m not ever going to believe it, so you might as well stop trying to get me to believe it.”

“Never.”

“Where the hell is Jongho?” Yeosang mulled, sounding miffed. 

“Is he not there?”

“No, and that-wait, what’s today?”

“Umm, Tuesday?”

“Oh, he’s at practice. Never mind.” Yeosang laughed. “Guess I should make dinner then. He’ll probably be home in the next hour or so.”

“Is that a hint to let you go?” Hongjoong chuckled. 

“Yes, I don’t want to hear more about your delulu. Besides, I’m sure you’re almost home yourself now.”

“You’d think so, but the traffic is ridiculous at this hour. At the rate I’m going, I’ll not be home until eight.” Hongjoong rolled his eyes as he came to yet another stoplight. 

“You’re so dramatic. You realize it only takes you like ten minutes to get home from work, right?”

“Eight minutes.” Hongjoong corrected. “But that is when I’m closing, and there aren’t all these idiots on the road acting like they’re the only person who matters. Oh my god, this traffic!”

Yeosang laughed at him. “Talk to you later, hyung. Please don’t get into a wreck because of your road rage, and tell your boyfriend that I said hi.” He laughed again before he hung up the phone.

The brown haired man sighed. The joke would entirely be on Yeosang if he ever realized that Hongjoong was telling the truth. 

⧭

Hongjoong managed to get home ten minutes later. Despite all of his complaining about the horrible traffic, his drive was only eight to ten minutes longer than usual. Once inside, he finally pulled out the piece of paper that had Park Fucking Seonghwa’s number on it. His fingers caressed the paper as if the idol’s own fingers still lingered on it. The brown haired man pulled his phone from his pocket and input the singer’s number. 

Park Fucking Seonghwa

A perfect name for his contact book. It felt insane. The more he stared at it, the more his stomach flipped uneasily. 

He quickly put his phone down on the kitchen counter and headed off to his bedroom so he could get out of his work clothes. He replaced his black jeans with a comfortable pair of grey sweats and his company t-shirt for a boring black tee without a single design on it. He toyed with the idea of going to take a shower before calling Seonghwa, but he desperately wanted to call the man. However, as he crept back into his kitchen to grab his phone, the butterflies only intensified to the point of nausea. “Fuck.” He whispered the words, taking his phone with him to his bedroom, where he paced for a few moments.

Maybe he should call Jongho. No, he was still at practice. Why didn’t Hongjoong know more people?! Oh, right, because he didn’t want to because he was an introvert. If it were up to him, he would live in the middle of nowhere, cut all contact with the outside world, and only have internet friends. Yeah, that was the dream. Especially when the one friend he had in real life didn’t even believe his dilemma was real and thus would offer no help other than to tell Hongjoong to go and touch grass. The man wanted to scream. He needed a pep talk. 

With that in mind, he headed into his bathroom and glared at himself in the mirror. 

“Stop being a bitch. Just call him.” He sighed at his own reflection. “You know you want to hear his voice again, so go and call him. He gave you his number. This means he likes you. Maybe. Or maybe he is just planning to prank you.” Leave it to Hongjoong to instill doubts in himself through his own self talk. 

“Fuck. I can’t do this. I absolutely can’t do this.” Another deep breath, another attempt at pulling himself together. It was all a failure. He glared at his phone but then got the bright idea of contacting Kiandra. She would tell him what to do. She was always straightforward. 

Hongjoong:
Please tell me you’re not with a customer. 

Kiandra:
I am not with a customer.

Hongjoong:
Okay good. Listen. I need help. I need to call Seonghwa. But I’m freaking the fuck out. 

Kiandra:
Hes ur bf just call him and say “hey baby whatchu wearing?” But put on a deep voice for it plz or don’t talk to me again

Hongjoong:
I can’t stand you.

Kiandra: 
Oop

No one could help him. He was well and truly doomed. 

Two hours later, Hongjoong sat in his living room staring at the wall, or rather glaring at it, his arms crossed over his chest. He should have given Seonghwa his number. That would have been better. Then, he could have forced the idol to call him. Put all the power in Seonghwa’s court. That sounded like a better idea to the brown haired man. He couldn’t believe how pathetic he was. It was just a phone call. It wasn’t supposed to be complicated. Maybe if he fooled himself into it, yeah, that was it!

Feeling giddy with excitement, he grabbed his phone and quickly changed Seonghwa’s name to something else. 

Touching Grass

Perfect. He was just going to call his reality check. Yep. He stared down at the name and number and miraculously felt better about the whole thing. Hongjoong wasn’t calling Seonghwa. No, he was just calling Yeosang or Kiandra or Bumjoong. He nodded to himself before he pressed the call button.

“Yeoboseyo - er, sorry, hello,” Seonghwa answered on the third ring, and his adorable greeting stole any lingering anxiety from Hongjoong, who chuckled. 

“Yeoboseyo, Seonghwa ssi. It’s Hongjoong.” He wore a giant smile on his face. 

“Oh! Hi Hongjoong, how are you?”

“I’m well. How are you?”

“Starving, actually.” The idol laughed. “But I’m steaming some kimchi dumplings, so that problem is solving itself soon enough. How was the rest of your shift at work?”

Hongjoong was so confused. They were talking like old friends just shooting the breeze. “Uh, it was good. We got busy, so it went by quickly.”

“Have you eaten?”

The brown haired man narrowed his eyes. He knew that Seonghwa was a motherly person from all the years of following AURAGE and wondered if his question was a trap. “Nah, not yet, but I’ll figure something out soon enough.”

He could nearly feel the air of disappointment through the phone. “I hope you do. Missing meals isn’t good for your health.”

Hongjoong laughed quietly and shook his head before diving into the real questions. “So, um, I’ve got to ask, why did you give me your number?”

Silence greeted him for several seconds before the man answered. “Oh. I um…” More silence, and the brown haired man frowned in confusion. “Truthfully, I’m really lonely out here. I don’t know anyone, and no one knows me… except you. And maybe it’s weird for me to try and get to know someone who’s a fan, but you treated me like a human and not an idol, and you were very kind. I just… I thought that we could get to know one another is all.” The singer’s voice was tiny and unsure of itself, making Hongjoong remember the early days of AURAGE when Seonghwa had still been finding his leader's voice. 

“I’m happy that you chose me for such a role.” He chuckled, trying to dispel any concerns Seonghwa had. “And I can also let you meet my other Halo friend if you want. He doesn’t believe me at all. I’ve told him how you came into my store that first time and he told me to go touch grass. His boyfriend believed me, at least, but he is still in denial. In fact, he told me to ask you if you had Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny’s phone numbers.”

Seonghwa laughed on the other end, a true and genuine laugh. “Oh my god. That is so funny. But I imagine it would be hard for him to believe I’m living here. You were shocked enough as it was. Make sure to tell him I don’t have those other numbers though.”

“I’m still shocked.” Hongjoong shot back. “Like, of all the places, why here?”

“Well, I knew I needed a change of pace and scenery. The longer I stayed in Korea, the more I realized that. I…” there was a small hitch in the man’s voice that made Hongjoong frown, thinking he shouldn’t have asked. “Montrose is quiet. I wanted quiet. It’s beautiful out here too. I felt it would be a good spot to figure… well, to figure me out.”

Hongjoong went quiet, his frown deepening. Seonghwa sounded so lost and so sad, but it was obvious he didn’t want to say too much. Whether that was because Hongjoong was a fan or because he was still practically a stranger was anyone’s guess. 

“Montrose is a good place for that, for sure. Are you adjusting alright? I imagine America alone is a huge adjustment from South Korea, and then Montrose is another adjustment.” He laughed, trying to get the mirth back into the conversation. 

“I am… mostly. It is very different, yes, but I’ve traveled in America enough to know most of the differences at this point. Though living here and just visiting for a month and staying in hotels in various cities is already proving to be quite different. I like the challenge. I find myself waking up every morning wondering what new challenge I will face and what new information I will find. It’s been fun.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it. And I’m happy to help in whatever capacity I can. I was born and raised here, so I can give you a tour of the city at any time.” Was this Hongjoong trying to be in Park Fucking Seonghwa’s presence again? Absolutely! 

“I thought you must have been born here.”

“Oh?”

“You have an American accent and not a single trace of a Korean accent.”

Hongjoong laughed again, shaking his head, relaxing as he lay down on his couch. “First time I’ve been told I have an accent.”

“What? How do you not know you have an accent? Everyone has an accent. There are so many different accents just in your country.” Seonghwa sounded shocked, but he was laughing at his words. 

“I don’t know. I just never thought about it, I guess. And, like I said, I was born and raised here. No one’s ever said I had an accent because we all sound alike. Well, to a degree.” He shook his head. “Is it a bad accent?”

“Not at all. I think it is very cute.”

Hongjoong slowly blinked at his ceiling, thinking that he hadn’t heard the man correctly. Had Seonghwa just flirted with him?! No, surely not. It was probably just the differences in culture. The idol always complimented the members of AURAGE, telling them how cute or beautiful or even hot they were. Yeah, that was all it was. 

“I think your accent is cute too.” Hongjoong managed to work up the courage to speak and then silently groaned at the words that came out of his mouth. 

“You said yeoboseyo and ssi when I answered. Does that mean you speak Korean?”

There was another laugh from Hongjoong. “Aniyo.”

“Hongjoong, you can’t tell me no in Korean when I ask if you speak it.” The idol laughed, and the brown haired man could almost swear that Seonghwa was shaking his head. 

“I don’t know much—some basics. I can read Hangul and know a few words, but that’s it. Like I can’t even speak a proper sentence. I know more words from hearing them than I can speak, and my accent is atrocious.”

“I already told you that your accent is adorable.”

“No, you said it was cute. Now you’re saying it’s adorable? Which one is it?” Hongjoong was finding it way too easy to relax and talk to Seonghwa like he was just another friend. He wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. “Besides, I’m talking about my Korean accent.”

Another laugh erupted on the other line. “Your accent is both. I can’t say if your Korean accent is bad or not, though, since you’ve only spoken three words to me.”

Hongjoong shook his own head. “That’s as much as you’re going to get. I don’t want to ruin my image on the first phone call.”

“I think it would take more than you speaking to me in the little bit of Korean, you know.” 

“Have you gotten your dumplings yet?” Hongjoong interjected. 

“Oh no!” 

“What?”

“I forgot I was steaming them.” 

The brown haired man chuckled, listening to what sounded like dishes being moved around on the other end before a sigh of relief was given. “Oh, thank goodness, they’re still okay. One second, Hongjoong, I’ve got to put my phone down to get these. I don’t know where my AirPods are right now.”

“Take your time.”

Hongjoong pulled his phone from his ear and put the call on speaker as he quickly began texting Yeosang. 

Hongjoong:
This phone call with Santa Claus is going so fucking well. He even told me that my accent is cute and adorable and I’m dying! I don’t know how I’m staying sane or how I’m even breathing rn. I keep worrying I’m gnna fuck up but omg YEOSANG i;m talking to mother fucking PARK SEONGHWA aka santa claus

Yeosang:
Uh huh. I’m starting to worry about you fr. Do we need to get you a therapist? Youve got good insurance right? 

Hongjoong ignored his best friend and waited for Seonghwa to return to the call. Occasionally, he heard the sounds of movement or cabinets closing, but otherwise, it was quiet. 

“Okay, sorry about that.” Seonghwa’s silken voice spoke through the phone, and Hongjoong thought he could just melt right there, and he’d be okay with that. 

“Welcome back.” Hongjoong internally groaned. Why had he said that?

“Thank you.” Okay, well, at least Seonghwa sounded like he was smiling. “So, what do you do for fun in Montrose?”

Oh no, the brown haired man was not the one to ask that question of. “Ummm… I mean, I don’t know.” He laughed. “I’m going, to be honest. I don’t really like to do anything special. I go to work. I go home. I go grocery shopping sometimes when I don’t just order them to be delivered to my house.” Oh my god, he felt like such a loser. “I’m a massive homebody.” Seonghwa was never going to talk to him again. He was clearly listening and realizing that the single person he had decided to try and befriend was actually the biggest loser in town. 

“Oh, there’s nothing wrong with that.” The younger man narrowed his eyes again, not believing the idol. “I was just curious if there was anything I was missing. I’m sure I can figure it out online, though.”

“I mean, if you like the outdoors, there’s a lot of stuff to do. Hiking, biking, rafting, kayaking - oh, I’m kind of rhyming.” He heard Seonghwa laugh and smile on the other end. “Picnics are pretty big, scenic drives, rock climbing too if that’s your kind of thing. In the winter, snowboarding and skiing have become pretty popular. My best friend loves to go snowboarding.”

“Do you do any of the outdoor stuff? I know you said you’re a homebody, but…”

“Sometimes, yeah. I like to go hiking when the weather is right. I haven’t been out on a raft in a while, but it’s pretty fun, too. And Yeosang forces me to go snowboarding with him every winter. I hate to say it, but I’m not very good despite him dragging me to the mountains once a week for the past five years.”

“Maybe I will have to drag you out to go kayaking then.”

Hongjoong gave his ceiling another slow blink. “I wouldn’t complain if you did.”

“Oh? Great. Then we should decide on a day for it. I’ve never been kayaking, but it sounds fun.”

Fuck. “Umm, well, I’m off work tomorrow. But like, it’s September, so it’s a bit too cold now.”

“But it’s not been that cold outside.”

Damn it, the singer saw right through Hongjoong.

“Yep, you’re right.” He laughed nervously. “So… tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow would be great! Oh, it will be a lot of fun. I hope. Hopefully, I don’t tip the kayak over.” Seonghwa sounded so excited and amused that Hongjoong couldn’t even care that he was going to have to actually leave his house. Besides, he’d be seeing Seonghwa in person again, and that was just not something his brain could compute. 

“We could just go rafting? It’s a little more serene and calm if we get the right spots. Then, you don’t have to worry about tipping over as much. Kayaking is something I’ve only done twice in my life, so I fear I wouldn’t be able to teach you very much. But rafting is nice; we’d basically just float the river, stay out of the choppier waters, and enjoy the scenery. One of the rivers goes into a canyon, and it’s breathtaking.” Was he trying to get out of something far more physical and more likely to embarrass him? Absolutely!

“Oh, rafting sounds nice too. I’m down for whichever. You’re the native Colorado person.”

Hongjoong chuckled. “I’m a Colorodan. That’s what a person from Colorado is called.”

“Colorod-en?”

“No, no, Colorado-an. An.”

“An. Colorado-an.”

“There you go!” Hongjoong beamed. 

“Thank you.” Seonghwa’s smile was heard again in his voice. “I like that. That’s cute.”

You’re cute. Fuck. Hongjoong kept that remark inside. He still couldn’t believe he was talking to Park Fucking Seonghwa. Checking his phone, he realized they’d been talking for thirty minutes already. Amazing! He quickly pinched himself just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. The pinch hurt, so he knew it was real. 

“Hongjoong?”

“Yes?”

“Have you eaten yet?”

Crap. “No?”

“You should eat. It is getting later.”

“Yeah, but I’m a night owl. I’ll be up for hours more, and I will eat before the night is over.”

“I hope so. I don’t want to see you get sick from not eating. Who would I go rafting with then? Your best friend, Yeosang?”

Hongjoong laughed so hard that tears sprang to his eyes. “You’d have to dress like Santa Claus if you went rafting with him, remember? Or maybe the Tooth Fairy.”

“I probably have some wings somewhere around here.”

The two spoke of various topics over the next twenty or so minutes before the idol spoke in a serious tone. “Can I ask a question?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you still a Halo?” He sounded tentative and worried. 

Hongjoong didn’t know how to answer the question. He wanted to be honest and always believed honesty was the best policy, but he also worried that it would be the wrong answer and that it would upset his idol. “Mostly. I, um, I listened to their latest comeback and everything, but… it just wasn’t the same. It’s hard, but I’m willing to try. You were always my bias, but I love the other guys, too. All of you are so talented and amazing, and I definitely want to continue supporting the rest of the guys. I just think I need some time to adjust, that is all.”

Silence fell between them for a few seconds once again before Seonghwa gave an affirmative hum. “That’s good to hear, that you’re trying to adjust. They’re amazing people, and I want to see them continue to do well. They deserve it. They’ve worked hard, and I don’t want my shadow stopping them from achieving the greatest heights.” The man’s voice sounded somber, and it saddened Hongjoong. He knew that the singer was most likely blaming himself for everything and would blame himself further if AURAGE failed in his absence. 

“I’m sure they’ll get there. Like I said, they’re super talented too. All of the Halo’s just have to adjust, you know? You shouldn’t beat yourself up though. You’re the bravest idol I know. What you did made waves, and I’m - well, I’m really proud of you. For all that is worth.”

“It’s worth more than you know, Hongjoong. Thank you.”

“Of course. And hey, if you need a confidence boost or ever to be told how amazing you are, I’m your guy!” He chuckled. “Not to be creepy or weird. Oh god, I hope that didn’t sound bad.” Fear flooded him, and he felt cold inside as worms dug into his stomach. 

Seonghwa’s laughter brought the warmth back. “No, you don’t sound creepy or weird. You sound like a fan, and you’ve already told me you are, so it’s not a shock. I might take you up on that offer because there have been some difficult days. I know all too well how much confidence I can gain just from a fan having confidence in me. So I appreciate your words, Hongjoong. They really do mean a lot to me.”

Relief! Hongjoong sighed in happiness. He was useful! Hooray! “Happy to help, but if I ever overstep, let me know. I don’t want to be fanboying out on you. Like I said, you’re a person and should be treated as such no matter how I feel about all of this.”

“Your feelings are also valid, Hongjoong. Which… how are you feeling? Are you okay? Is all of this too weird for you?”

A stupid derpy smile appeared on the brown haired man’s face. Ah, Seonghwa was so sweet and understanding. “I mean, I mostly feel like I’m dreaming, and we’re not really having this conversation.” The two laughed again. “But the more we talk, the more I realize it is happening, and I’m surprisingly fine with it. I think this is every fan’s dream. I mean, a casual conversation with an idol and plans to go float the river with them tomorrow? It’s really cool. I just hope I’m keeping my own cool here and not coming off weird.”

“I’d tell you if you were.” Seonghwa’s smile was once again heard in his voice. Hongjoong couldn’t wait to see that smile in person. Again. God, he was going to be seeing Park Fucking Seonghwa the next day!

The two laughed with one another, easily falling into jokes and friendly conversation. Seonghwa was so easy to talk to. There were many times over the next hour that they spoke, and Hongjoong questioned if it was real. At other times he was able to forget that he was talking to Park Fucking Seonghwa and not just another friend. They meshed well together and didn’t run out of topics once. By the time they hung up the phone, Hongjoong was hungry and had found his late dinner, which he had scarfed down. He had promised to eat after all, and it was bad form to lie to your bias in kpop. 

Chapter Text

The next day dawned bright and early, and Hongjoong woke with a great mix of anxiety and dancing butterflies in his stomach. He didn’t bother trying to eat breakfast, for he feared it might come back up and all over his idol if he did that. Not having anyone to talk to about his plans with Seonghwa only made things worse. Maybe he should get new friends if Yeosang wanted to remain a disbeliever. However, that was far easier said than done, considering Hongjoong’s introverted status and general dislike of too much socialization. Besides, Yeosang was his best friend and wasn’t replaceable, even if he didn’t want to believe Hongjoong. A small part of the brown haired man understood his friend's reservations. He probably wouldn’t believe the story himself if he wasn’t living it. 

Actually, the more he thought about it, the more he realized how unbelievable it all sounded. What if Yeosang tried to tell him that Jung Wooyoung had gone to his spa for a spa day? Hongjoong wouldn’t have believed that, not in Montrose. He certainly wouldn’t have believed his friend if he had told him that Wooyoung had moved to Montrose and given him his phone number. It really was unbelievable. Hongjoong felt he should cut Yeosang some slack, but he also really needed his friend because he was having a total freak out moment. Not in a million years did he think he would be where he was now, and it took all morning for him to calm down. 

By the time he reached the raft renting business, he was cool as a cucumber, at least on the outside. He wore sunglasses, which definitely helped in hiding just how anxious he was. His stomach was in absolute knots, and he felt he might throw up at any given moment, but no one was any wiser to this fact. As he went inside and got all of the paperwork signed and filled out, the woman behind the counter treated him to jovial smiles and jokes, clearly not seeing just how tightly wound the poor man was. As they stepped outside, another car pulled up, and Joong recognized it as belonging to Park Fucking Seonghwa. 

Sure enough, the man was stepping out of it as the woman continued droning on about safety. Hongjoong tuned her out as his eyes found his idol, and he couldn’t not stare. Seonghwa was so fucking beautiful, ethereal, handsome, sexy, and so much more. The shorter man was pretty sure his heart had stilled its beats. Seonghwa was dressed for a day on the water in light colored shorts and a black tank top (that he was already infamous for) that showed off his toned body in ways that Hongjoong didn’t think were safe for him to be around. A low cap sat on his head, but his soft, beautiful black hair still looked just as pristine as usual. The idol had sunglasses on just like Hongjoong did, so he wasn’t sure if the man was looking at him or not. 

Hongjoong didn’t imagine that Seonghwa was looking at him, and was appreciating the way Hongjoong looked too. Why the fuck would he? The younger man had some confidence, sure, but not so much that he thought he even had the right to breathe the same air as Park Fucking Seonghwa. While dressed in similar fashion, there were differences in their clothing. For one, Joong wore a pair of loose basketball shorts, dark in color, with an inverse of a white tank top to Seonghwa’s black. He also wore a loose fitting navy blue button up shirt but didn’t bother with the buttons themselves, leaving it hanging open. There was no cap on his head, and he trusted that the sun wouldn’t burn a halo onto his scalp. 

“Are you still with me?” The woman’s voice sounded far away, and Hongjoong turned away from seeing the beautiful musician and realized that the employee was a good five feet away. 

“Sorry, sorry, yeah, that’s just um-” what? What was Seonghwa to him? Other than his idol, of course. They weren’t friends. They were still very much strangers. Were they acquaintances then? It felt weird to tell the woman that, but what Seonghwa was was far too multifaceted to explain to another stranger. 

“I’m his friend and date for the day.” Seonghwa’s warm honey voice suddenly spoke up next to Hongjoong, and the man nearly fainted from the shock of his delicious tone and the words he used. He stared at Seonghwa as if he had grown fifty heads, and they were all trying to eat one another. 

Date?!

Were they on a date? No. Surely, he had heard wrong. It wasn’t a date. They were just two people hanging out on the water. Seonghwa also happened to be a fucking kpop idol that Hongjoong was obsessed with and simped over for years. They weren’t friends. It wasn’t a date. He felt his stomach roll and thought for sure it was going to be the end. He would lose the water he drank for breakfast all over the man he was so infatuated with. Then the singer would never look at him again. But he’d probably remember the brown haired idiot who threw up on him for the rest of his days. 

Internally, Hongjoong was having a massive meltdown. His brain was no longer functioning, and he was walking with the woman and Seonghwa towards the rafts but not computing anything anyone was saying. He was on autopilot. He had no thoughts, but there was definitely a pain in his stomach that refused to subside. His heart managed to continue beating despite his brain lacking any function. When his thoughts finally started to come back, they were a messed up jumble of disbelief and anxiety. Maybe he should run away. Just grab the raft and the oars and take to the river, see if he could find a way to a greater body of water and never return. 

Hongjoong could go and be a mountain man. Yes. It was a great idea. He would build a cabin for himself in the Rocky’s, and he would chase anyone off who dared to come onto his property. Especially Park Fucking Seonghwa. If he tried to go after the anxiety riddled creature, then Hongjoong would chase him away while screaming how sorry he was for his own fears and insecurities. 

God, he was really fucked. 

“Hongjoong?”

Was he even alive anymore? Maybe he had died, and this was his afterlife. Did that mean he was in hell? Heaven wouldn’t be all of this. Heaven would have been him easily accepting his life, friendship, and apparent date with his idol. Hell was what he was in. Which was strange as he had thought he was a good person. The shorter man had always tried to do what was right. He hadn’t been a bully in school. He never tried to make someone feel like they were less than him. He donated to the poor when he himself had the money to do so. He fed them sometimes, too, when he found homeless people pandering on the side of the road. 

“Earth to Hongjoong.”

Okay, well, he was rude to his customers sometimes. Especially the Karens, who liked to come in with their demands and threats of finding another wireless provider or saying they would call corporate. Or worse, the rowdy men who saw a shorter, pretty man and thought they could push him around and get away with it. Yeah, he was definitely not nice to them. He might have wished bodily harm on those customers a few times, too. Did that mean he deserved hell? Apparently, it did because that was where he was. Strange, though, as it wasn’t that hot or overbearing. His anxiety was hell enough, he supposed. No need to add him creating a puddle of sweat when he was sure that already existed internally… somehow. 

“Are you feeling okay?”

Hongjoong blinked out of his stupor and looked around. Oh fuck. The two men were alone, the employee having left them with their raft as they stood near the water’s edge. Seonghwa was holding onto the edge of the inflated contraption and looked incredibly worried. 

“What? I’m fine, yeah.” He raised a brow at the man as if that was a dumb question to ask. Of course, he was fine. He was Kim Mother Fucking Hongjoong, and that extra word meant he was somehow above all of this shit, including PFS, aka Park Fucking Seonghwa and his wiles. 

“If you’re sure. You really zoned it there for a minute. Did you eat today?”

Hongjoong frowned and walked to the other end of the raft to pick it up so they could carry it to the water. “Uh, does water count as eating?”

He noticed the frown echoed back at him from the musician. “You realize it is dangerous to skip meals, yes?”

“I will eat after this, I promise. I just wasn’t hungry.” Something about not wanting to lose his breakfast on Seonghwa. 

“Okay, but I’m going with you to ensure you eat.” 

Hongjoong smiled easily at that, even as the anxiety worked its way through his system. “Sure, we can grab a bite to eat.” Since apparently, this was a date. 

Once the raft was on the water, they carefully climbed on board and put on their life vests. Each man picked up an oar, and off they went onto the rather calm water. The pair were seated side by side in the middle of the raft to create the best balance. 

The further out they got, the quieter the world around them appeared to get. Seonghwa pulled his oar back onto the raft and looked around with a serene smile on his face. “It’s so beautiful out here.”

Noticing the man’s movements, Joong also pulled his oar up and nodded. “Yeah, you can find real peace on the water.” Now if only he could find his inner peace and stop freaking out. But Seonghwa's words continued to repeat in his head when he'd much prefer the man's lyrics in one of AURAGE's songs. 

Several minutes passed with the pair in silence. Hongjoong thought it was awkward and oppressive, but as he chanced a glance at the other man he noticed a tranquil smile on his face. The light came down just right and made his skin seemingly glow. It took Hongjoong’s breath away, and for just a moment, he could not feel the squirming of worms in his stomach. 

The idol pulled his phone out of the little waterproof bag he had with him and started taking pictures, his smile never leaving his face. “I've got to share these with the kids. I know they'll love seeing them.”

Hongjoong raised a brow. Was the idol talking about who Joong thought he was talking about?

“The kids?” He questioned. 

“Yeah, I'm still in contact with Woo, Mingi, Yunho, and San. They're my best friends, even with me being all the way over here now. I'm hoping during one of their breaks, they'll get to come and visit me.”

Hongjoong’s brain short circuited again as he thought of AURAGE being in Montrose. He didn't think that the city could handle that or would survive such a visit. Wooyoung would probably wreak havoc. But if Yeosang met him… 

The brown haired man nodded and chuckled quietly to himself at the thought. Of course, he was getting way too far ahead of himself. Nothing said that Seonghwa would have Hongjoong meet them or that they would even still be talking when that happened. The most likely outcome of the day was Hongjoong fucking everything up and never getting a chance to speak with the man again. Why had he agreed to go on a raft with Park Fucking Seonghwa?! Had his brain fallen out of his ass when he had agreed to this whole thing? Why couldn't he just be cool and not act so foolish? Seonghwa needed a friend, and he wanted to be friends with the brown haired loser for reasons that were apparently beyond Hongjoong’s grasp. 

“Are you okay, Hongjoong?” The musician's hand was suddenly on Hongjoong's arm, giving it a light squeeze. 

Seonghwa was staring at him, or at least had his head turned towards the younger man. The sunglasses still made it hard to see where he was looking. “Yeah?” He didn't mean to make it sound like a question. The man's touch made it hard to think. 

“You've spaced out a lot today, well, so far anyway. Is this too much?” The idol looked slightly abashed, but he quickly hid the look behind a painted smile. 

Hongjoong felt so bad when he saw it. “No, no, please don't think that. I just need to get out of my head.” The man chuckled. “It's just really wild, is all, and I'm clearly failing in trying not to be weird. I mean, you told that lady it was a date, and my brain sort of just stopped functioning.” Oh god, why had he admitted that? What kept making him say things so freely to the singer? It wasn't fair and was undoubtedly going to drive Hwa away. 

Seonghwa turned pink, his eyebrows shooting up, showing his eyes getting larger. “Oh my god, that's so embarrassing. I'm so sorry. I was just trying to be… funny? Casual? I'm not sure of the word.” The idol dropped his head into his hands.  

Right. That made so much more sense than Hongjoong thinking he had a single chance with someone like a fucking kpop idol. Now, he felt stupid and embarrassed. “Hey, no, don't be sorry. I'm the one that read it wrong.” He laughed, trying to get through the awkwardness. “Look, let's just enjoy the day. I'm going to get out of my head and stop acting dumb, and we are going to enjoy the river. I mean, it is a gorgeous day.” He bit his tongue to stop himself from commenting on how gorgeous the man looked. 

Seonghwa didn't appear convinced even as he nodded his head. They grabbed their oars and moved further along the river. The conversation remained light and easy, but they were still awkward. Hongjoong blamed himself entirely. He didn't know why he couldn't just play it cool and enjoy basking in the idol's presence. Park Fucking Seonghwa wanted to get to know him better and be friends, and he was blowing his chance. Seonghw was definitely not going to want to talk to the brown haired man again after the day was over. 

As they coasted along the waters into one of the canyons, Hongjoong pulled his oar back up and let the man enjoy the beauty all around them. In the canyon, it was even more spectacular. Surrounded by mountains on three sides, it was the best spot on the river. Seonghwa appeared to appreciate the majesty himself, mouth falling open in awe. “Oh wow. This has to be the best spot I've seen today.” 

Hongjoong smiled and nodded. “Yeah, this is my favorite spot on the river. Definitely wanted you to see it. I used to come out here with my brother when I was younger, and we’d just spend all day on the water. Bring some snacks and drinks, and just float.” Thinking about the past and his beautiful memories with his family made the wannabe producer smile and relax. Turning towards Seonghwa, he tried to catch the man’s attention without touching him. It felt improper to touch the idol without permission, even though the man had already touched Hongjoong several times. Sadly, the black haired man’s head was turned as he looked at the canyon’s rock formations. 

“Seonghwa?” Hongjoong finally spoke up, causing the idol to turn in his direction.

“Hmm?”

“I wanna apologize. I know I’ve made this day awkward and weird, and I’ve spazzed out a lot on you or rather spaced out on you. It hasn’t been my intention to make you feel weird or anything. I’m just… I’m trying to get used to this ya know? You’re, well, you’re you. I’ve been such a huge fan since before you guys even debuted, and following your career meant so much to me. You specifically meant the most to me, and… you helped me, inadvertently anyway, through a lot. Listening to your music, watching videos of you, and everything. I know you’re just another human being on this planet, and I intend to treat you like that. I guess I’m a little star struck after all.” The man chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

Seonghwa smiled at him. “A little?” He must have noticed the pink on Hongjoong’s cheeks cause he laughed again and grabbed the salesman’s hand, holding it in his own. The brown haired man felt like he was going to melt into the raft floor and turn into Hongjoong goo. “I’m not bothered, Hongjoong. I was worried, but I understand. If I met one of my role models, I know I’d act exactly the same way you have. God, I’d probably be worse.” Another smile broke his face. “ But I appreciate your kind words. I’m glad that I was able to make a good impact on your life. That’s all I ever wanted from performing. To make a difference, a positive one, and I’m glad to see I did.”

To say that the shorter man was relieved was an understatement. It felt good to know that Seonghwa wasn’t going to abandon him because of his star struck bullshit or his bad and wrong assumptions of what the day was supposed to be. 

“I know I said it once, but I’m sure you find me crazy for trying to befriend a fan, but I really like you so far. I know I don’t know much, but from what I’ve seen, I can tell you’re a fun and good person. Maybe I wanted to cheat a little bit too.” He covered his mouth with his hand as he laughed. 

“Cheat?” Hongjoong tilted his head in confusion. 

“Yeah, it feels like cheating to befriend a fan. You already know so much about me, and you like me already, so I don’t have to really do much work.” He laughed even harder as Hongjoong shook his head and laughed as well. 

“Wow! I see how it is! You want to make me spill my guts about myself and work to make you like me more? Now that’s cold blooded.”

“It is, isn’t it?”

The two laughed again before they fell into a comfortable silence, nature being the only sound around them. It was nice just watching the birds fly overhead. Hongjoong slowly relaxed and found the worms stopped burrowing in his stomach. He knew he needed to do better, but it was really difficult to wrap his head around everything. The fact that Seonghwa said he liked him, though, meant so much to the younger man. Out of all the people in Montrose, Park Fucking Seonghwa had chosen him to be his person. And Hongjoong desperately wanted to be that person for the idol. 

He couldn’t imagine living so far from his friends, and it really put Seonghwa in a new light for him. Joong already knew the man was incredibly brave and strong, but this was perhaps the second most courageous thing he had seen the singer do. First, was coming out as gay in Korea, of course, but moving to a small town in America away from everything he knew and everyone he loved was right next to that. Hongjoong decided then and there that he would be the pillar the idol needed. After all of the things that Seonghwa had done for him, it was the least the Halo could do for his bias. 

In AURAGE’s lore, the group told a constant story of the struggle between light and dark and explored themes of self discovery, inner strength, and battling personal demons. Each of their songs and MVs resonated with Hongjoong as he grew from the cusp of adulthood into an actual functioning adult. It was a tumultuous time, as it was for most people trying to figure out their place in the world. AURAGE’s members represented a different facet of energy, auras, and the struggle to maintain their “halos” despite their struggles. Seonghwa was the Radiant. The leader, the bright light that leads the rest of AURAGE out of the darkness and towards the brightest lights. Seonghwa had been Hongjoong’s guiding light, but perhaps it was time for him to be the Radiant and guide the lost star back into his place in the world. Whatever that place might be now. 

“Have you had much of a chance to explore Montrose?” 

Seonghwa shook his head. “Not as much as I’d like. I’m still unpacking, which is insane considering how long I’ve been here.” He laughed. “But a lot of my stuff didn’t arrive until a few days ago. Shipping from Korea is insane. I had no idea it would take so long.” 

Hongjoong laughed with him, shaking his head. “Oh, it’s ages. I know cause of all the stuff I’d buy for AURAGE, and man, it was WEEKS waiting on my merch.”

“I never realized just how patient international fans had to be until I got here.” 

“Oh,you have no idea. Just think about the things that only Korean and Japanese Halo’s get that we international Halo’s don’t get.”

“Other than fast merch?” Seongwha titled his head to the side, regarding Hongjoong with a glance as he pulled his glasses off. The sun had halfway dipped behind the massive mountain range around them. 

Hongjoong followed suit before he answered. “Two words: Meet and greets.” 

“Oh!” Seonghwa’s big boba eyes grew even more prominent. “Oh, I didn’t even think about that, but yeah, you’re right. I mean, management never even mentioned doing those events anywhere else. It was kind of an unspoken agreement that umm…” he averted his eyes, looking nervous… “that international fans would be too rowdy.”

“Oh, we would!” Hongjoong laughed again, finding Seonghwa’s nervousness to admit it to be so adorable. “It’s true, so they were wise not to. We don’t know how to act over here, and I’m sure the rest of the world doesn’t either. Korea and Japan are much more put together, and I’m speaking with no experience in either place myself, but my parents were always quick to tell me why I couldn’t do something my friends could do. “You’re Korean before you’re American, Kim Hongjoong.” Oh man, I can still hear my mother’s words so clearly to this day.” The memories had the brown haired man laughing even harder. 

Seonghwa joined in with him. “It’s nice to see that eomma’s don’t change even when they move to another country.”

“They definitely do not. My parents are insanely traditional and brought all their values and discipline with them. Most of it I shirked throughout my life, but I guess there was some wisdom in it, but it did make growing up difficult.”

Again, Seonghwa raised a brow at him as if in question.

“Well, Americans are raised differently. We do things differently, or “they,” as my parents refer to them. But, like, I mean, I’m American, was born and raised here, so they’ve definitely given me an identity crisis.” Hongjoong was all smiles. “Anyway, raised differently, parents are different, ideals are different. So, growing up among kids who were given so much less discipline and more freedom? Yeah, it was rough. I got made fun of a lot for being “weird” and for being a “mama’s boy.”

“A mama’s boy?” 

“Oh, it’s a nice way of saying that someone is a bitch, really. Specifically, a boy, of course. As if doing what your mom says and respecting her is somehow less masculine and is a threat to one’s identity as a man.” Hongjoong gave the most giant roll of his eyes. He still found that whole notion so ridiculous. 

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Seonghwa stared at him with exasperation on his face. “I have already seen some of… what do you call it.. American toxin masculinity?”

Hongjoong chuckled. “Toxic.”

“Oh, toxic, yes. I’ve seen some of it already, and I don’t understand. Of course, it exists everywhere, but somehow it feels different here. I don’t know.”

“Really? It exists in Korea, too?”

“Oh, absolutely! It is changing a lot, and society as a whole will probably look very different in twenty or so years, but for now, it is still evident. Mostly among the older generation, I’ll admit. But men in Korea are facing all sorts of problems, like the mental health stigma. No older man wants to talk about it or admit to it, and they certainly won’t get help. Then there is the pressure of being the man and taking that role responsibility, and some men take it too far, believing that they are above women and are superior. And don’t get me started on the older generation's belief that they must remain rigid and stoic, unable to show emotions in front of anyone.” It was Seonghwa’s turn to roll his eyes. 

“Wow, I never would have expected that, though I guess I should have cause my dad can definitely be rigid. He’s gotten better over the years, but the amount of times I’ve seen him cry can be counted on one hand, and there are still so many fingers untouched.”

Seonghwa frowned and nodded. “Yeah, it’s sad, but times are changing. I think our generation and the one before us are making the biggest impact, and I’m excited to see how it all goes. Maybe one day I’ll even feel comfortable returning home for good.”

Hongjoong frowned at that. The idol had hinted that there was a deeper reason behind leaving Korea. The brown haired man had been told that Seonghwa needed a chance of pace and scenery, but he could tell there was more to the story. He didn’t however want to pressure Seonghwa, so he waited to see if the man would say more. When he didn’t, the shorter of the two changed the subject to the colors of fall seen in the mountains. 

The pair stayed on the river for a couple of hours with random chit-chat, and jokes passed between them. Hongjoong opened up quite a bit, finding it easier to just sit and talk with Seonghwa as if he were a normal person and not the idol that the wannabe producer was infatuated with. 

Soon, it was time to return the raft, so the two men grabbed their oars and navigated the waters back to the rental location. The day was perfect for rafting, as the breeze was enough to stay cool without making the waters choppy and complex for two beginners to navigate. Admittedly, Hongjoong should have been a pro, but it had been so long since he went out on a raft that he felt like a beginner all over again. Still, no one fell in the river, and they had a good time amongst nature and in each other’s company. 

After they had finished returning the raft and life jackets, Seonghwa mentioned the need for lunch, reminding Hongjoong that he hadn’t eaten yet and that it was unacceptable. At Hongjoong's suggestion, the two agreed to convene at a burger shop in the mountains. It was a country kitchen with the mountains as the backdrop, another place he used to visit with Bumjoong when he was younger, and they'd go rafting. 

There was something exceptional about going to these places that were so wonderful to him when he was younger, but now with Park Fucking Seonghwa. It also made it easier for Hongjoong to relax and not be as anxious. That, plus the amount of time they had spent with one another, had helped to soothe the brown haired man's nerves a great deal. He felt so stupid for acting the way he had earlier in the day, even with Hwa telling him that it wasn't a big deal and that he would have acted the same. 

Lunch was delicious, and the atmosphere, while extremely white person country, was still really nice. They could look out the windows and see the Rocky's right there in the backyard. Conversation flowed between them easily, and Hongjoong lived for every moment that he was able to make the other man laugh or smile. It did a lot to his ego to know that he was the one making Seonghwa laugh. 

After eating, they made their way back outside and to their parked vehicles. 

“This was a fun day, Hongjoong. I hope we can do it again, though I think kayaking should be added to our agenda.”

“I think you'd need to take some classes first and learn the ropes, then I'd be willing.” Hongjoong chuckled as he leaned against his jeep, totally relaxed.

“Orrrrrr, we could take lessons together?” Seonghwa stood in front of him with a soft smile on his face, looking innocent and so radiant in the sunlight. 

“I mean, sure? I am extremely rusty. We could get some lessons pretty easily, too. Once we had the ropes down, we could see about getting on the river. Though it might be too cold by the time the lessons are over. Depends on how long it takes cause October is the cut off for kayaking and canoeing until May.”

“Well, we best get started on it quickly then.” The black haired man nodded his head vigorously. “Are you off tomorrow?”

“Nah, I work the next three days. All weekend.” The brown haired man rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his face. 

“No worries, I will do my own research, find a class, and get us booked.” The singer wore a bright smile on his face, but then it dropped as he looked at Hongjoong with wide eyes. “Is-is that okay? I shouldn't presume anything.”

Hongjoong couldn't help but laugh at the adorable expression and the constant concern that his idol had over being presumptuous. “You're fine, and yeah, please go ahead and sign us up. I'm typically off on Thursdays and Mondays, but I also close a lot, so I don't go to work till like twelve. Keep that in mind if you would. Retail is a different beast altogether.” He had to stop himself from rolling his eyes again, not wanting to seem ungrateful for the job he did have. 

“Okay!” Seonghwa nodded. “Alright, I should get back home so I can start researching. I'll let you know as soon as I have something planned. Can I,” he started slowly, eyeing the shorter man with an inquisitive look, “Can I call you tonight? To chat, of course.”

How was someone this adorable? Hongjoong thought it should be illegal. “Of course, you can call me. Call, text, FaceTime, whatever, whenever.” He really hoped that the man wouldn't take his response as overly eager, but damn if it didn't make the brown haired man extremely happy to know that the musician wanted to talk to him more. 

“Okay, sounds good.” Seonghwa nodded, a smile on his face. “I will talk to you later then, Hongjoong.” With one last smile, the man walked around his car, parked next to the salesman's jeep, and got inside. The brown haired man only took a moment to get inside his own vehicle so he could leave as well. 

The entire drive home, he was squirming with excitement and elation. 

Chapter Text

It was an insanely slow day at work, and Hongjoong was beginning to question his sanity. He had been at work for three hours already, and only one customer had come in. That customer was nothing exciting, as they were just paying a bill. He thought about taking a nap, but that would be frowned upon. So, instead, he sat by himself at one of the tables, trying to avoid his annoying and troublesome coworker, Ted. The man was a relatively new hire, and he talked too much and was combative on top of all of that. 

Two new people, Ted and Diamond, had been hired over the last three weeks. Ted was annoying. Diamond was pretty okay so far, but she was still stuck in training, so Hongjoong couldn't say much about her personality as they'd had very few interactions. Ted, though… Hongjoong did not like the man. 

The brown haired man had been working for the same company and at the same store for five years. He was the last of the original crew to open the store in Montrose five years prior. Everyone else had either been fired or moved away. He liked the company and didn't really mind his job. He wanted to move up into management, but the single time that the spot became available for an assistant manager, he was turned down for reasons outside of his understanding. It had given him a blow to his ego and almost made him quit. But he stuck it out. Two years later, he is still waiting for the current assistant manager to move on to greener pastures so he might move up into her spot. Assuming the company didn't jerk him around again. 

All of this is to say that Hongjoong had plenty of experience and was a senior in the store, a floor leader, and the most knowledgeable employee in the store. So Ted acted like he knew better, and he really grated on Hongjoong’s nerves. The man was older by probably a good twenty to thirty years. It made the salesman believe that Ted had problems taking direction from a younger person. But that was not Hongjoong's problem. It was Ted's, and the idiot needed to work on his attitude. 

Luckily for the Halo, though, he had Seonghwa to get him through his work days. The two had been talking nearly every day. Mainly through text messages, but sometimes Seonghwa would call him or FaceTime the simp. It had been three and a half weeks since they went out on the raft. Since then, they'd been meeting weekly for their kayaking lessons. They'd go to class together and then get dinner after. There were only a handful of classes left, and they both knew they'd not be getting on the river until May, but neither man appeared too upset by that knowledge. 

Hongjoong was just happy to spend more time with Seonghwa. It still felt like a dream, and sometimes, he still got anxious, but he was doing so much better. 

Yeosang still didn't believe him. 

Hongjoong:
Ted is staring at me. 
Do you think he's planning to dispose of me?

Touching Some Grass:
I hope not! 🫣
Hongjoong I'm going to need you to not be selfish and get yourself offed before we get to actually go kayaking. 

Hongjoong:
I knew that was the real reason you wanted to be my friend. You just wanted a kayaking partner! 😪

Touching Some Grass:
Oops. Figured me out

The brown haired man chuckled and shook his head. But then there was Ted. Walking over to the table where Hongjoong was perched. He pulled out a chair and sat down. The shorter man had to stop himself from groaning. 

“Sure are smiling at your phone a lot.” Ted started with obvious disdain in his voice. 

The wannabe producer grit his teeth and calmed his nerves before responding. “Yep. That's what happens when I'm entertained by it.”

Ted laughed as he leaned further on the table in front of him. “Is it a girl that's got you so worked up?”

The brown haired man knew where this was going. Ted was a burly man's man, and Hongjoong was the exact opposite. Slender, short, pretty, actually gave a shit about his appearance and his skin and hair care. He sometimes wore light makeup. He sometimes painted his nails. All things that showed his sexuality clearly without him having to say it. His sexuality wasn't anyone's business at work. It was his business. He and whoever he might decide to sleep with or enter into a relationship with. Otherwise, it was no one's business. Especially not Ted's. 

“I wouldn't say I'm worked up. Just enjoying a funny conversation.”

Ted frowned, not liking the answer he received. Again, not Hongjoong’s problem. 

His phone buzzed again, and he picked it up to see a message from Seonghwa. 

Touching Some Grass:
Do I need to come up there and defend your honor?

Hongjoong's face broke into a giant smile, and Ted took notice. 

“There you go again. Must really like this person you're talking to.”

God, what was this guy's problem? Why couldn't he just mind his own business?

Hongjoong:
Lmaoooooo and how would you do that exactly? 

Touching Some Grass:
Idk 🤷‍♂️ lol glare at him menacingly?

Hongjoong:
I've seen that glare it can be very scary. It might just work! 
I'm sold!

Touching Some Grass:
Okay, give me ten minutes and I’ll be there. 

Hongjoong:
Are you serious right now?

The brown haired man continually checked his phone over the next fifteen minutes, but Seonghwa did not message him again, which only mounted his anxiety. It was beginning to look like the idol was actually going to show up at Joong’s job. Not that he didn’t want to see the man again of course, but he didn’t want to have a scene at work either. Then again, it was Seonghwa. The younger of the two didn’t believe that he had a mean bone in his body and doubted very much that the singer would show up and cause issues. 

When the door opened again, it was Kiandra returning from her break. Thank god. Hongjoong was hoping she’d hurry up and get back to the table so he wasn’t left alone with Ted. 

Ted who continued trying to talk to Hongjoong about some video game he was playing. Joong had tried to tell him that he wasn’t that into video games and didn’t really have time to play them, but he kept on talking anyway. 

“I’ve gotta go knock out a training. Kendrick already texted me about it. I’ll be back out here in a minute.” Kiandra waved as she walked to the back, making the brown haired man groan internally even longer, as if he was stuck with only Ted. 

He wished a customer would come in, even a customer who just wanted to pay a bill—anything that would distract him from the man’s incessant rambling. 

Again, he checked his phone but was still waiting for a message from Seonghwa. Fuck. He should have texted Yeosang to see what he thought, but the fool still thought that Hongjoong was delusional or playing a prank on him. It was getting really bad, and Joong knew he needed just to plan a meeting for Yeosang and Seonghwa so the masseuse would know he was telling the truth. But he also liked having Seonghwa all to himself. There was an incredibly irrational part of his brain that feared Hwa and Sangie hitting it off and becoming better friends than Hongjoong and Seonghwa. He couldn’t have that. 

“Uh oh, did you upset her?” Ted’s grating voice spilled into Hongjoong’s ear like putrid wax. 

He put his phone down on the table and turned to look at the older man. “I’m not talking to a her, and I’ve not upset him.” He did his best to keep his voice even and level, but he was sure it still came out slightly miffed. Joong was about to tell the man to go and take the trash out, just to get him to go away when Ted suddenly stood up. 

“I got the customer.”

Which wasn’t right. He was still in training and wasn’t allowed to be involved in any transactions. He was meant to be watching and learning from those who could sell. Oh, Hongjoong nearly blew a gasket as he gripped his tablet and went to stand up, determined not to let Ted walk all over him. 

Instead, as he stood up and turned towards the door, he saw Seonghwa walking inside with a big smile on his face, and his boba eyes found Hongjoong’s. 

“What can we help you with?”

He heard Ted’s dumb voice greeting Seonghwa, who glanced in his direction before pointing to Hongjoong. “I’m here to see Hongjoong.” He didn’t wait for Ted to say anything else before he made a beeline for the brown haired man. “Hi!” His smile only grew more prominent as he stepped up next to Joong. 

“I can’t believe you right now.” Hongjoong chuckled and sat back down, offering the other chair to Seonghwa. 

Ted walked over and took a seat opposite Seonghwa, which caused the black haired man to raise a brow before looking back to Hongjoong. 

“Oh, this is a personal matter, not a work matter.” Hongjoong quickly told Ted, trying to get him to leave, but the man remained. 

“Is this who you were texting then?” He chuckled. 

The idol’s brows furrowed together. “I’m not trying to be rude, but could we have the table, please? I’d like to talk to Hongjoong about a personal matter.” The singer reached out and wrapped his hand around the other man’s wrist. 

Ted looked between the two before he nodded. “I can tell when I’m not wanted around.” The man stood up and walked away to sit at one of the workstations. Hongjoong had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. However, he wasn’t able to stop himself from meeting Seonghwa’s eye, and he smiled brightly. 

“Well, I never thought you’d actually manage to get Ted to leave me alone.” He whispered with a smirk.

The idol chuckled lightly and shrugged his shoulders. “You can still be polite while being firm.”

God, I love you! Hongjoong kept that thought to himself, though it nearly slipped out. What a way to ruin a young friendship. “I can’t believe you came all the way up here. I thought you were joking.” He shook his head, a smile on his face. 

“I’m not that far from your job, and I wasn’t doing anything. I feel like I’m constantly trying to figure out how to fill all my spare time. I’m not used to having so much freedom.”

“I imagine not. You must be bored as hell.” Hongjoong felt terrible for the idol. To go from such an insanely busy lifestyle to a laidback and quiet one.

“Mmm, I am. I’ve played so much Animal Crossing that I no longer know what to do with my island. I’ve thought about restarting it. And I’ve built every Lego set I have. I’ve watched the entire Star Wars series probably three times through now.” The man held his head in his hands, a pout on his beautiful lips. Hongjoong had to fight the desire to kiss him, so he looked away. “Going to the kayaking lessons every week is really the only thing I have to look forward to.” Apparently realizing how sad that made him sound, Seonghwa sat up straighter, eyes larger than usual. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t be making myself sound so miserable. I’m not miserable.” He chuckled. “I’m just having to adjust, is all.”

Hongjoong looked back at the idol with a sad smile. “I’m sorry. I’m not being a good friend, am I?” 

“What?! No, no, this was not a shot at you, Joong.” The man shook his head vigorously. “You have a full time job, and you’ve said it yourself, you’re a homebody and massively introverted.” He smiled fondly at Hongjoong as he spoke. “And it isn’t your responsibility to make sure I’m not bored, you know. I just feel that I need to be doing something all of the time. I don’t know. Maybe I should… no, that’s stupid. Never mind.”

“I doubt it’s stupid. Tell me.”

Seonghwa shook his head, firm in his desire to keep whatever his thought was to himself. Hongjoong didn’t push. 

“Can I use your bathroom? I know it says employees only.” Seonghwa pushed his chair back but hesitated to stand up. 

“Oh, yeah, you can use it. That sign is more to keep the crackheads next door out.”

The idol blinked, and a look that said he wasn’t sure if Hongjoong was joking appeared on his face. When the shorter man didn’t give him anything else, Hwa stood up and crossed the store to go to the bathroom.

Seconds after the door closed, Kiandra returned from the back, and Ted stood up and headed back over to Hongjoong, making the smaller man want to groan. 

“Is that who you were talking to and smiling at your phone like an idiot over?” He quickly jumped into being nosy. 

“Who?” Kiandra asked, glancing around the store. She came to stand in front of the table where Hongjoong was sitting, holding onto the chair in front of her. 

Ted stood on the other side but thankfully didn’t sit down either. 

Ignoring Ted’s question, Hongjoong looked to Kia instead. “Seonghwa is here.”

“Really? You two sure are spending a lot of time together.” She smiled down at her coworker with a knowing look that caused Hongjoong to roll his eyes. Kiandra looked at Ted when he asked who Seonghwa was. “Oh, it’s definitely who he was talking to and smiling at. Boy’s gaga and in delulu.” 

Hongjoong heard the bathroom door open and close but couldn’t see past his two coworkers to see if Seonghwa had actually exited the bathroom. 

“Oh, is he your… are you two…” Ted started, pointing his index fingers at one another as if he couldn’t possibly ask a man if he was dating another man. 

Kiandra laughed loudly. “Please! Hongjoong only wishes he was dating Seonghwa. Boys been crushing since before I even met his delulu ass.” 

Seonghwa was right there. Hongjoong saw his head behind Kiandra as he grew closer, and suddenly, all he could think of was running away. Had the idol just heard what his coworker said?! Oh god. He needed to go. Somewhere. Somehow. 

“Oh, hello, Kiandra. I didn’t know you were here.” The idol spoke as if nothing had happened, completely unfazed by the employee’s conversation. 

Kia jumped in surprise and turned around with a smile on her face. “Seonghwa, so nice to see you again. How’s my favorite customer?”

“It’s good to see you too. I’m well, just here to bother Joong.” He smiled sweetly before he retook a seat, staring between the two standing individuals and Hongjoong, who refused to meet his gaze. “Did I miss something?”

“Nope,” Ted mumbled his words and walked away. 

Kiandra decided to sit down with the pair, for which Joong was actually thankful. 

Did Seonghwa already know that Hongjoong had had a crush on him for forever? Just because he was a gay male fan didn’t mean he lusted after Seonghwa, even with the man being his confirmed bias. That was like saying that because two men were gay, they were definitely into one another, which was stereotypical and a harmful assumption. 

Fuck! What if Hwa decided he didn’t want to be friends with Hongjoong anymore because he realized the man had a crush on him? It was just a crush! It didn’t have to mean anything. The brown haired man thought that he had been perfectly normal, well, mostly. But he hadn’t flirted or made advances. He had just been a friend, which was all he assumed he was and ever would be. 

There was no way that the idol hadn’t heard those words, but he appeared to be unfazed by it. What did that mean?! Hongjoong’s head was spinning. 

Seonghwa stayed and chatted for another hour, though it was mostly Kiandra and Seonghwa doing the talking. Joong added in his thoughts a few times, but for the most part, he was quiet and in his head. Just when he thought he was finally in a good headspace and had accepted that he was becoming friends with his ult bias, Kiandra had to go and drop the news that Hongjoong wished he was dating Seonghwa. 

Which he still definitely wanted that, too. He had thought that his crush on the man would dissipate the longer he spent with his idol and started to learn the real him. Instead, his crush only got bigger, and Hongjoong hated it. If only because he wanted to be a good friend to the other man and not have his constant crush get in the way of that. He had had far too many wet dreams about Seonghwa over the various years of biasing him, but now they had also ramped up, and he felt like a teenage boy dealing with morning wood. How many people masturbated and had wet dreams of their friends?! He was scumbag, surely. 

⧭

Three days later, Seonghwa and Hongjoong left their kayaking class and chatted excitedly about their plans to actually kayak in May. It was months away, but Hongjoong enjoyed the simplicity of making plans that far in advance with his idol. It meant that Seonghwa intended to remain in contact and still be friends. The brown haired man didn’t think he could ask for anything more. He was just so happy to have the opportunity and chance to befriend someone he admired so much. Crush aside, he spent most of his time feeling like he was on cloud nine and living in a dream. Seeing the singer smile and laugh when he said or did something funny meant so much to the salesman. 

He didn’t know if Hwa had made other friends yet in Montrose, but he secretly hoped he hadn’t. Hongjoong was a jealous man. Part of him wanted his idol to make other friends because he deserved to be happy and treated wonderfully by everyone. On the other hand, though, new and different friends might mean that the musician wised up and realized what a dork Hongjoong was or stopped spending as much time with him. The thought was devastating. 

“Hey, I’ve got a question for you.” Hongjoong started as they walked out to the parking lot together. 

“Hmm?” Seonghwa stopped on the spot and turned to face the shorter man. 

“Have you made any more friends yet?”

The idol shook his head as he chewed his bottom lip. “Not really, no. I mean, I have met some nice people, but no one worth mentioning. Hard to really make friends with people when I only see them once and not again.”

The sadness in his eyes made Hongjoong hurt. 

“But it’s okay. I have you.” Hwa perked up, smiling widely as he bumped his shoulder against the other man’s. 

“Damn right, you do!” Hongjoong smiled, but he still felt that sadness in his heart. Jealous or not, he didn’t like seeing that his bias was upset. “I hope I’m being a good friend. I know I’m not the most sociable person.” He chuckled. 

“You’ve been an amazing friend, Joong. You talk to me when I call you or text you; you’ve been sacrificing an entire day off to spend the day with me, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. You’ve made a very real difference for me. I would be…” he paused and looked away as if he were having trouble formulating the sentence or simply didn’t know how to say what needed to be said. He sighed. “I’d be really alone if it wasn’t for you, Hongjoong. So thank you.”

Again, Hongjoong felt his heart breaking, and before he knew it, he had lurched forward and wrapped his arms around the other man, holding him tightly. 

The black haired man relaxed into his hold and returned the hug with the same vigor. 

It took a moment for Hongjoong to realize what he had just done, but seeing as how Seonghwa had relaxed against him, he didn’t pull away or let his brain overthink everything. Friends hugged one another. He was just happy to be able to give some level of comfort to the man he cared so much about. “You don’t need to thank me for being your friend. I need to be thanking you.” He chuckled. “It’s been such an honor being the person you chose to get to know. You, Park Fucking Seonghwa.”

He felt the taller man’s body shake against his before he heard the man’s laughter. “You don’t have to use bad words with my name, Joong.”

Oh yes, he did!

The brown haired man became hyper aware of how close they were. He could feel so much of Seonghwa’s body, and fuck he felt so good, and he smelled good…his body… Hongjoong quickly pulled away and swallowed the ridiculous amount of spit that had collected in his mouth. 

The idol looked confused and a bit bewildered, even more so when Hongjoong turned away from him entirely, hands on his hips as he looked skyward. 

“Um, are you okay, Joong?” Seonghwa’s soft voice spoke with a great deal of concern in his tone. 

“Yep. Yep, I’m fine.” That was the biggest lie ever. The wannabe producer made a mental note never ever to hug Seonghwa again. Or touch him at all. Maybe he should not even be within five feet of the man because the cologne he was wearing was intoxicating. Hongjoong was pretty sure he had been on the verge of drooling, and his head, if possible, almost spun around on his neck like in the Exorcist. “Just thought I saw the Big Dipper.” He pointed out a grouping of stars that were definitely not the Big Dipper. 

Seonghwa looked where he was pointing and came to stand next to him. “Where?”

“Oh, I guess I was wrong.” Joong shook his head and sighed. “Well, I should probably get home now. It’s getting late.”

It was only four in the afternoon. 

“Dinner though? Are we not doing that tonight?” The singer spoke very slowly, his voice dripping in oversaturated confusion. 

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! Hongjoong’s brain was on fire, and he didn’t think it would be salvaged. He needed to go home. Far away from Park Fucking Seonghwa. He probably needed a cold shower or to go and visit Sir Thumb and his four sons. Except that would be wrong. He and Seonghwa had been getting dinner together every night since their classes started. It had become a tradition. They started the day off nice and early by getting brunch together around ten to eleven. Class began at two, ended at four, and then they usually had dinner by five to five thirty. After dinner, they would go their separate ways, though Seonghwa usually texted Joong a few more times before one or the other went to sleep for the night. 

Hongjoong brought his hand up to the back of his neck and slowly nodded. “Right, yeah, dinner. I-I forgot.”

Seonghwa narrowed his eyes, still looking confused. “Joong, what’s wrong? You’re acting very strange. Did I do something?”

The brown haired man sighed. He didn’t want his idol feeling guilty for being amazing and nearly giving the salesman a fucking hard on, but how was he supposed to confess to that?

“No, no, you didn’t do anything. I just, I just need a minute. Umm, I probably shouldn’t have hugged you. That was rude of me.”

“Rude?” The musician chuckled. “How was it rude?”

The shorter of the two still couldn’t make eye contact with his crush. “Because I didn’t ask permission, and-and we’re not supposed to touch you. That’s bad form.”

Silence spread between them like the first snow of winter, but then Hwa laughed loudly and uproariously. 

Hongjoong blinked as he finally looked at the man, his own confusion on his face. 

When the singer finally stopped laughing, he pulled Joong into another hug, giving the shorter man an “oof” of surprise. “You’re so hilarious. We’re friends, Hongjoong. You can hug me. You’re not just a fan anymore. You’re my friend. No permission is needed to hug me. I miss skinship, if I’m being honest, so you hugging me was probably the highlight of this whole day.”

Maybe Rudolf would come flying down and spear the brown haired man right in the chest. Then, he wouldn’t have to deal with the horrible words coming out of Seonghwa’s mouth. He didn’t want to hear that he could freely hug the gorgeous being and that Hwa missed skinship, which hinted that he wanted more of it. No, no, no! Joong wouldn’t survive skinship with Seonghwa. He would be dead in just a few days. The hug had already nearly killed him and short circuited his brain. More skinship was not needed. It wasn’t wanted. Okay, that last part was a lie. It was definitely wanted, but only for selfish, lustful reasons, which the younger could not give into. 

Pulling away from him, Seonghwa moved his hands to Hongjoong’s shoulders, wearing a bright smile on his face. “You’re adorable and precious? Is that the word? Sweet?”

Hongjoong blinked a few times before he managed to get out of his head. “Um, thanks? I… okay. Sorry. I know we’re friends now, and yeah, it’s just… you’re you, so touching you is another weird one I guess.” Fuck he so badly wanted to be able to touch the man without losing his mind. To grab his tiny waist, to hold his hand, rub his back… Joong had to get off that train of thought. 

“You’ll get there. You’ve come a long way, Hongjoong. I’m very proud of you and thankful you continue trying. Shall we go eat now? I’m starving.” 

The shorter man smiled and nodded. “Yeah, let’s go eat.” Before he combusted. 

⧭

The two couldn’t decide on dinner, so they went through a list of restaurants and did not find anything appealing, so Hongjoong suggested they just grab something quick. That led them to agree on Taco Bell. It was Seonghwa, though, who suggested they get the food to go, and stupid Joong who suggested they go back to his house to eat it. Why had he suggested something so fucking stupid? Was he insane? He was truly beginning to believe he was. His home, all alone, with PARK FUCKING SEONGHWA. He was indeed an idiot. 

After his great suggestion, the idol said he would go and pick up the food after Hongjoong ordered it in the app, and then he’d meet the brown haired man back at his house. This was the best suggestion of the night, as it gave the salesman time to run home and ensure it wasn’t a disaster. In which case, it was. He had dirty dishes in the sink, his plants were starving for some water, and a pile of laundry was waiting to be folded up and hung up instead of sitting in his recliner in the living room. The poor fool made quick work of cleaning, washing the dishes so fast he was sure he’d need to rewash them after Hwa left. He dumped all his laundry in his bedroom, but it was on his bed, so he wouldn’t need to rewash it. He watered all of his plants and wiped down the counters in the kitchen and the dining room table. The floor still needed to be vacuumed, and the kitchen needed to be mopped, but it was better than it had been. 

Seonghwa was ringing the doorbell before Hongjoong could give everything a once over. 

“Hey, come on in.” He opened the door and stood back, letting the taller man into his home. 

Of course, then another mini freak out happened as he saw his fucking idol standing in his home. He hated Yeosang. Hated him with a burning passion. He needed his friend! How was he supposed to survive everything that was happening if he didn’t have someone to lean on? 

Seonghwa was nice and respectful and didn’t even look around with a scrutinizing gaze. Instead, he asked where the kitchen was and followed Hongjoong as he led the way to the attached dining room. 

“We can eat here.” He offered. 

The idol began pulling food out of the bag, so Joong took a moment to text Yeosang. 

Hongjoong:
SOS! I fucking need you man! HELP! HELP! HELP!

He must have been typing insanely fast because Hwa speared him with a raised eyebrow. “You type so fast.” He laughed. 

“Oh, do I?” He chuckled. “I get told that a lot. Give me a second. I need to get my phone on the charger.” Which really was just an excuse to talk to Yeosang. 

As he entered his room, though, there was still no message from Yeosang, and he sat on “delivered.” 

“Goddamn it, Sangie.” He frowned down at his phone and stuck it on the charger regardless before returning to the singer. 

Seonghwa was still standing but had separated all of the food. “It’s not five star cuisine, but I like Taco Bell. It’s different.” 

Hongjoong smiled at that and took a seat in front of his food, watching as the other man sat down, too. “It’s something, that’s for sure. But hey, it works in a pinch.”

“American food is so different from what I’m used to. I miss Korean food.” He frowned.

“Maybe I should invite you over to my parent’s house sometime then.” Joong joked.

However, the idol didn’t take it as a joke and looked at him with large eyes. “Would you? Does your eomma still cook traditional food?”

Fuck. Hongjoong nodded his head. “She does, yeah. She much prefers Korean food over American drivel, as she calls it.” He took a bite of the burrito he had ordered to try and stuff his mouth to make him not say something else stupid. 

Seonghwa shot a hand over to Hongjoong’s free one and grasped it. “I would love to have dinner with your family sometime if they’d have me. It means so much to me for you to even suggest and offer it, Hongjoong. You’re so sweet.”

The brown haired man smiled, but inside, he was back to a mini heart attack. He swallowed his bite before he spoke again. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll call her tomorrow and see when we can do that.” God, it was going to be so weird explaining everything to his parents. What a shit show. 

The two ate without further incidents, and Hongjoong cleaned everything up when they were done, throwing away the food wrappers and wiping down the table. 

Seonghwa had taken a seat in the living room, and Hongjoong soon joined him. He was not sitting too close but still on the same couch. As he sat down, though, Seonghwa looked at him with that beautiful smile. “Do you like games? Or movies? Maybe we could do something else together before I go home?”

“I don’t really play games that much, but movies are good. I’ve got Hulu and Netflix too, so I’m sure we could find something.” He leaned forward to grab the tv remote off of the coffee table and turned the tv on that sat over his fireplace. 

Thirty minutes later, they were fully into their movie. Hongjoong was so invested that he barely noticed how close the idol had gotten to him throughout. It wasn’t until he shifted and his leg pressed against Seonghwa’s that he realized. He took his eyes off the tv and saw that the man had somehow gotten within a few inches of him. Joong didn’t know what to think of that, so he tried to relax and not lose his mind. However, he nearly jumped out of his skin when the doorbell rang, followed by relentless pounding of someone’s fist against the wood. 

“What the fuck?” Hongjoong paused the movie and stood up, confusion and alarm drawing his brows down together. 

Seonghwa glanced towards the front door, and Hongjoong could feel the man’s eyes on him as he moved to answer it. 

As he pulled the door open, he was greeted by a sideways fist, getting ready to hit the door again—Jongho’s fist, to be exact. Yeosang stood beside him, looking frightened. 

“Oh my god, you’re alive!” Yeosang shot forward and pulled Hongjoong into his third hug of the night, a death grip he couldn’t escape even as he squirmed. 

“Of course I’m alive. What the fuck is wrong with you?” He tried again to get free, looking to Jongho for help. “Dude, let me go. What the hell?”

Yeosang finally stepped back as Jongho grabbed his shoulder. “Babe, he can’t breathe.”

“Sorry, sorry. What the hell, Joong? I’ve been calling and calling and texting! You’ve been ignoring me!”

Hongjoong sighed as he remembered his text. Riiiight. 

“You literally sent SOS and then went silent. My god, I thought someone had broken in and killed you!” Yeosang continued to berate the poor man. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! My phone’s on the charger and we were eating and then watching a movie.” He gestured towards the darkness behind him, no lights on in the living room, only the light from the tv. 

“We?” Yeosang questioned as he stepped around Hongjoong and walked inside. He barely got another two steps in before Joong heard his voice. “Oh my god.”

Chapter Text

“Oh my god.”

Hongjoong knew what those three words had to mean. Yeosang had just found Park Fucking Seonghwa in Kim Mother Fucking Hongjoong’s house. The brown haired man smirked to himself before turning around and walking inside, followed closely by a concerned Jongho. 

“Babe, what’s wrong?” The poor man hadn’t a clue what had his boyfriend so shaken. 

“Oh my god!” Yeosang spoke again, apparently devolving into a broken record. 

Seonghwa stood up with a smile on his face, clearly not bothered by the intrusion or the inherent shock on the other man’s face. “You must be Yeosang.” He spoke quickly but politely, his smile radiating calm, beauty, and power. God, it nearly took Hongjoong out right there, but he looked away instead to his best friend, who stood looking like a fish out of water.

Jongho had turned towards the spoken voice and blinked rapidly. “Oh shit, he wasn’t lying!” 

The wannabe producer was tempted to pull his phone out of his pocket and start recording the whole thing. He felt so smug. 

“You-you-you’re what.. Yo-youre Seonghwa.” Yeosang pointed a finger at the idol, and his other hand covered his mouth, which continued to hang open. His face was pure gold! The shock was everywhere. From how his eyes had gotten so much larger, his eyebrows almost to his hairline, and his mouth stuck in a perpetual state of surprise. 

Jongho put his hand on Yeosang’s back, trying to be a calming presence. “Babe, it’s okay. You already knew this. Hongjoong hyung told you.”

“I sure as fuck did!” Hongjoong finally spoke, that smugness in his tone and on his face. 

Seonghwa stayed where he was, beginning to look a little concerned for the younger man. “Um, it’s nice to meet you finally, Yeosang. I’d introduce myself, but I see you already know who I am.” He chuckled lightly before glancing at Joong with a pleading look as if he were asking for help. However, the shorter man could not really help. 

For his part, Hongjoong crossed over to stand next to Seonghwa, smug smile growing even more arrogant as he watched Yeosang’s eyes get impossibly bigger at the close proximity of his friend to the Radiant of AURAGE. To make matters worse on Yeosang (and on himself), Joong threw an arm over Seonghwa’s shoulders, which the idol didn’t seem to mind. “You didn’t want to believe me, but the proof is in the pudding!” Hongjoong cackled. 

The musician looked confused and turned his head to the salesman with a raised brow. “That is an English idiom you’ll have to explain.”

The smugness was wiped from Joong’s face as he looked at Hwa and grimaced. “Oh, uh, you probably don’t want to know that one. But suffice it to say I’m basically telling Sangie that the proof is right before him.” He looked back to Yeosang, noting that the poor man still couldn’t speak and that both hands were now covering his mouth. “I tried to tell you. I told you so many times, man. Here he is in living color, Park Fucking Seonghwa in the flesh!” Hongjoong was feeling way too bold, so he squeezed Seonghwa closer to him, a triumphant smile on his face. It was easy not to focus on how amazing the idol’s shoulders felt under his arm and fingertips when he gloated. 

Jongho gave his boyfriend a final glance before he stepped forward and bowed in front of Seonghwa. “We’ve met at a fan signing event before, but it’s nice to meet you again, Seonghwa ssi.” The man stood up and offered a polite smile and finally, a hand for the singer to shake. “I’m Jongho. I apologize for my boyfriend. Sangie has been a stout disbeliever of your existence in Montrose for some time now.”

Seonghwa took the offered hand and shook it with both of his. “It’s nice to meet you too, Jongho. No need to apologize for Yeosang, though, I’m sure he will be okay. I hope anyway.” His eyes glanced behind the other man back to the shocked individual, who jumped under the scrutiny. 

Hongjoong released his hold on Seonghwa, not wanting it to become awkward. “Are you going to stand there like that the rest of the night? Hwa and I have a movie to finish soooo…” he gestured to the tv that had now blinked off to the screensaver and was no longer showing the paused film. 

Yeosang finally put his hands down but remained surprised. “I can’t believe this is real. Am I alive?” He blindly reached his hand out for Jongho, but of course, the man was too far away. “Jongho!” The stern tone he only ever seemed to use with Jongho sounded in Joong’s living room, and the poor soccer coach jumped and quickly moved over to his boyfriend.

“Hey, hey, are you okay now, babe?” Jongho put on his best sweet tone, hands on Yeosang’s waist, searching his boyfriend’s face, even as said boyfriend continued to stare at Seonghwa. 

“No, no, I don’t know when I’m going to be okay again.” Yeosang broke his eyes away from the idol and turned to stare at his boyfriend, falling forward into his hold to hide his face in Jongho’s neck. “I’m so sorry! Please forgive me.” Sangie’s muffled voice was directed towards the singer. 

“Forgive you for what?” Seonghwa questioned. 

“Because I’m acting so foolish in front of you. Oh god, I’m so embarrassed.” 

Jongho rubbed his boyfriend’s back. “You don’t need to be embarrassed. I’m sure Joong Hyung has been far more embarrassing than you’re being right now.”

“Hey!” Hongjoong barked out, trying to defend himself even as Jongho glared at him. 

“I mean, it is true,” Seonghwa said with a smirk. 

“What?!” Hongjoong rounded on the idol with a look of disbelief. 

“Hmm? I didn’t say anything.” The musician played it innocently, with a bright, happy smile on his face, even as Yeosang chuckled. 

“I can’t believe you’ve been telling me the truth, Joong!” Yeosang glared at the brown haired man as if he were responsible for the masseuse’s shock. 

“I think you need to eat some crow now, Sangie.”

Once again, Hwa raised a brow, not understanding all the weird English idioms passing out of Hongjoong’s lips. 

“Okay, okay, fine. I’m sorry for not believing you.” Yeosang dropped and tossed his hands out to the side, nearly hitting Jongho as he had turned to stare at the other two men and was no longer in his boyfriend’s grasp. 

“Nah, you can do better than that. I need some groveling.” Hongjoong crossed his arms over his chest, a hip cocked out and his damnable cocky attitude back in place. 

“That’s not going to happen.” Yeosang shook his head, much to Joong’s chagrin. “I mean, I’m blown away right now and amazed, but I’m never going to gravel. You’ve been living in the land of delusion for so long. How was I supposed to know this wasn’t just another time you were delusional, Hongjoong?”

The brown haired man frowned, losing the cockiness. “That’s rude.”

“What kind of delusions?” Seonghwa piped up with a curious expression. 

Hongjoong’s eyes grew as large as Yeosang’s had been previously. He silently pleaded with his best friend not to say anything! Of course, Yeosang being the kind of friend that liked fucking things up, ignored him. 

“Oh, there’s been lots. “Seonghwa wrote this song for me.” “Seonghwa is so aware of my existence after that concert. I bet he even remembers my name.” So so many.” Yeosang was smiling all too happily while Hongjoong shook his head. “Oh, and of course, my favorite one where he deluded himself into believing you not only knew of his existence but that you were in love with him and his mental boyfriend.”

Hongjoong wished the sky would open up and strike lightning down on him. Why was his supposed best friend trying to ruin his life?! Something about how Sangie was smiling said it was a form of punishment or payback, but Joong couldn’t figure out what he had done to deserve it either. Well… there was that one time… with Jongho… but that had actually helped and not hindered! If it weren’t for Joong, the two boyfriends would still be single or with other partners. No matter how embarrassing it had been for Yeosang, his intervention had helped create a power couple that had been going strong for years. 

The idol turned to stare at Hongjoong, a soft smile turning the corner of his lips up. “Is that all true, Joong?”

“Of course, it isn’t. Yeosang is simply trying to make me look foolish because he is embarrassed by his lack of faith in me and then his reaction here today.” Hongjoong was stubborn to a T and stood his ground, rolling his eyes. However, his words seemed to bring the smile off of his bias’s face momentarily, but only for a second. Maybe it was a trick of the light? Hongjoong stared at Seonghwa for several seconds, even as the man looked away with that fake smile on his face. Had he said something wrong? He was simply trying to save face and not make things awkward between them by admitting how in love he was with someone he idolized. 

Jongho rescued everyone by stepping forward and tugging on his boyfriend’s hand. “Come on, babe, Joong Hyung is fine; we should probably get back home. They have a movie to finish, after all.” 

Yeosang frowned. “But I have so many questions. Can’t we stay and watch the movie with them instead?” He turned to his boyfriend, giving a big pout and doe eyes. 

The soccer coach groaned and looked away. “I’m not looking at you. Stop being so cute. We need to go, babe. You know I have work in the morning, and that stupid staff meeting is at six. I need sleep.” He leaned in and whispered something imperceptible to Yeosang, but whatever he said did the trick. 

“Oh right, that meeting. Yep! Time to go! Seonghwa ssi, it was so nice to meet you again. I hope we can become friends too. And if you’re still in contact with Wooyoung Ssi, please tell him I’m his biggest fan!” As he spoke, he was already walking out the door, dragging Jongho along. The younger tried to bow again to Seonghwa, but it was made more difficult by being drug out of the house. 

As the door closed, Hongjoong sighed and glanced at Seonghwa. “Soooo yeah. That’s my friends. Umm, do you want to finish the movie?”

Seonghwa blinked out of a stupor and nodded his head. “I’d love to.”

The pair finished the movie without further incident, though Hongjoong noted that there was a massive ravine between them. His idol stuck to one end of the couch while Joong was on the other, and no one dared to move closer. He felt certain he had fucked something up, but he didn’t know what it was or how he had done it. Did Seonghwa believe Sangie’s words, and now, he felt awkward around his new friend? Had he realized the truth in Yeosang’s accusations?

The answer seemed pretty obvious to the brown haired man. After all, it was only a few days prior that Hwa most likely had overheard the same tale from Kiandra. Maybe Seonghwa was rethinking his friendship with Hongjoong. Though Joong wouldn't blame him if he was, and certainly wouldn't blame him if he decided to drop the notion of being friends with the younger male entirely. 

Once Hwa left, Hongjoong sunk into a land of anxiety, worried over the outcome of everything. Seonghwa had felt distant and colder. His smiles were forced and practiced, and while he said that he still expected dinner with Joong’s parents, the brown haired man felt he was just saying that to be polite. 

⧭

“I hope you realize how much you fucked everything up,” Hongjoong grumbled as he sat on Yeosang's couch two days later. He had to work in three hours and had decided to go and argue at Yeosang. 

“And how did I do that? And wait, what did I even fuck up?” Yeosang sat beside him, chewing on a cookie. 

“By fucking telling Seonghwa about my obsession,” Hongjoong grumbled. “Now he's being weird, and I don't think he wants to be friends with me anymore.”

Yeosang swallowed his cookie before he sat up and looked at Joong with a raised brow. “I'm sorry that he's being weird, but it wasn't my fault.” The man settled back against the couch. “I can assure you that he was already well aware of how you felt before I said anything. But for what it is worth, I am sorry if I upset you.” Yeosang was usually not the catty kind. He was a soft and caring individual who was always there for Hongjoong when he needed him. Sometimes, he could be a menace, but for the most part, he was the nicest person anyone could hope to meet. 

Hongjoong didn't like his answer, though, and glowered. “How would he know that? I never flirted with him or made anything obvious. And don't say it's because I'm a gay male fan. That's so stereotypical.”

The younger man shook his head. “I would never say that, and that isn't why I'm saying it now. You make it obvious without even realizing it. It shows in your eyes and the way you speak to him. Now, what's crazy is that he didn't seem to mind at all. I'd even go so far as to say he likes it. So his being weird now has nothing to do with what I said or your crush on him.”

That didn't make sense. What the fuck was Sangie talking about? Sure, he could agree that Hwa might be aware just based on the stupid ways that Hongjoong looked at him or spoke to him. He didn't think he was overt with his crush, but maybe he was. Yeosang had always been a good reader of people, especially of Hongjoong. The man could tell when the elder was in a bad mood before Joong even realized he was in one. So there was definitely a grain of salt, several of them, being held by his friend. However, the assumption that Seonghwa liked that fact?! Absolutely not! 

“I think you need some meds cause you're off your rocker.”

“No, I'm not.” Yeosang chuckled. “I have eyes and can see. All of this is so crazy, though, so why not add even more insanity to the mix? Park Fucking Seonghwa living in Montrose, befriending you, and possibly having a crush on you right back.” His eyes glittered with excitement. “Oh my god, I hope he does. You two would be so great together, and then all of your dreams would come true.”

Hongjoong shoved the other man, who only shifted because he wasn't expecting it. Otherwise, the older man knew that he wouldn't have been able to make the statuesque man budge at all. “He doesn't have a crush on me. Stop that! I can't afford to be delulu when he is actually in my life in such a major way now. Or he was. He's probably realized what a loser I am and isn't going to be friends with me anymore.” There was his frown again.

A hard punch landed on his arm, and the brown haired male jumped before he rubbed his now sore bicep. “Ow! What was that for?”

Yeosang looked surprised by his own strength, which was laughable, but he held back on the obvious concern and apology on his face. “Don't talk about yourself like that. You're not a loser. You're seriously the most amazing person. You're smart as fuck, witty, caring, hardworking, talented, conscientious, loyal, friendly, independent. I could really go on and on and extol your virtues, Joong.”

Hongjoong blushed deeply but rolled his eyes. “You have to say that stuff. You're my BFF. It is in the Bro’s Handbook.”

Sangie rolled his eyes, but he had an affectionate smile on his face. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

The two fell into their shared shock over everything with Park Fucking Seonghwa being in Montrose, and Yeosang daydreamed about meeting Wooyoung under the same circumstances. 

“I don’t think Jongho would like it if you met Wooyoung like this.” Hongjoong chuckled. 

Yeosang glared at him. “Excuse me? I’ve already told you this a million times: he is my son. I am not attracted to him like that. I mean, he is fucking beautiful, but I’ve adopted him so no.”

“How is he your son when you’re basically the same age?!” Hongjoong always teased his friend over this.

“Because I say so. Mind your business. Now… if San and I met like this? Well, Jongho might be mad then.” He giggled with a blush covering his cheeks. 

“I can’t stand you.” The brown haired man laughed and lightly pushed his friend. “Wait, isn’t he on your free list?”

“He is.” Yeosang waggled his eyebrows at Joong before he burst out laughing. 

“Well shit, Jongho might be upset before much longer than cause Hwa was talking about trying to see if AURAGE would come and visit him when they get a break.”

“Shut the front door! WHAT?” The man was on his feet, shock and awe decorating his features. “When did he say that? When are they getting a break? Oh my god, do you think he’ll let us hang with them?”

The conversation dipped into insanity as the two men fantasized about spending the day with their idols. For Hongjoong, it was something he had already done multiple times, but not with the whole group, of course. He didn’t know how he’d react if he got to meet and spend time with the others. Seonghwa had always been his bias, but all the members were special to him. Wooyoung with his chaotic energy. San with his loving personality. Yunho being a constant adorable biscuit.  Mingi with his doofus like self and those raps?! Hongjoong was a big fan of Mingi’s rap style. Maybe it was best that Joong never meet them. 

⧭

Hongjoong:
My mom has agreed to dinner. She has no idea who you are though sooooo…

Touching Some Grass:
DINNER! 
But why does she not know who I am?
Who did you tell her I was?

Hongjoong looked down at his phone as the message came through and sighed to himself. He didn’t know what to tell his mother, so he had simply told her he had met a nice Korean man who had just moved from South Korea and was missing home. She lamented over the mysterious man’s loss of home and invited Seonghwa to dinner before Joong could even suggest it himself, which meant that the younger of the two was incredibly worried that his family was going to make things insanely awkward as if they weren’t already. Six days had come and gone since the weirdness started with Hwa, and things hadn’t gotten better. Sure, they still talked to one another, and the idol joked, but the distance remained. It had Hongjoong worried. He intended to tell his mother that they should wait a few months, but she didn’t give him the option to get any other words in. 

“Oh, bless him. He needs a good home-cooked meal, Aegiya. He should come to dinner; it will help him not feel so homesick. Invite him. You’re off on Thursday, right? Dinner will be ready at five. Don’t be late.” 

And then she was gone, hanging up the phone on her poor befuddled son. He had waited two days to tell Seonghwa, mostly out of fear. 

Hongjoong:
I didn’t realy get to tell her much of anything. I simply told her that I had met a fellow Korean man and that you were missing home. She invited you before I could say anything else and dinner is now scheduled for tomorrow at 5. So I guess we can just head to my parents house right after our lesson?

Touching Some Grass:
Sure! That works for me. 
Though I think we should probably skip lunch and just meet the lesson. 

Fuck. Hongjoong had definitely messed up. Now they were skipping lunch?! Despite what Yeosang had said, the brown haired man felt the exact opposite. Hwa was being weird and distant because he had realized the new friend he made had a crush on him, and there was no fixing it. It wasn’t as if the wannabe producer could just forget his crush and move on, especially when he was talking to and seeing his crush weekly and was now inviting him to dinner with his family. Honestly, he was just waiting for the next shoe to drop, which would inevitably happen at dinner.

His parents probably wouldn’t recognize Seonghwa for who he was, but they were probably going to make assumptions about the connection between the two. Awkward and uncomfortable assumptions. Hongjoong could tell his parents that they weren’t dating, that he and Hwa were just friends and to please not be weird, but they wouldn’t listen. They never did. They were stubborn. If they actually did recognize the black haired man as Park Fucking Seonghwa, then the awkwardness and horribleness would be ten times worse. Hongjoong thought that he should cancel the whole thing and block Seonghwa’s number before the inevitable happened. 

But he didn’t want to be a coward. He just wanted it to all be over. Let the horrible dinner happen, let Seonghwa fall further away from him, and then move on with his life, knowing he had fucked up the chance that every Halo in the world wanted: to be a steady friend to a member of AURAGE. Most fans, Hongjoong included, wanted more, but he had been so happy to call his bias his friend. Now, it was all going to come crashing down, and he was stuck like a deer in headlights, waiting for the excruciating pain of the collision. 

Hongjoong:
Okay, yeah if you’re sure. 
I’ll see you at class then. Or did you want me to pick you up so we can drive together to my parents home?

Touching Some Grass:
Sure.

That one word reply hit Hongjoong right in the gut. He felt so miserable. His head fell onto the table in front of him, and he groaned out his sorrows. It was nice having Seonghwa as a friend as long as he did, but he could feel that it was coming to an end. 

⧭

The next day, Hongjoong was another bundle of nerves and anxiety. It felt like the beginning of the end, he feared. He had expressed his fears to Yeosang, but the man was really no help. He told Joong that he highly doubted Seonghwa would stop being friends with him because of his crush. He even teased that most of Hwa’s distance was because the man had realized he had a crush on the brown haired man and was trying to process it. That wild theory had nearly made the wannabe producer lose his lunch. Lunch he had all by himself. It sucked, really.

It had been so nice to get lunch with Seonghwa every Thursday for a whole month. He felt so alone as he ate a boring bologna sandwich in his house. 

Hongjoong:
Lunch isn’t the same without you 😪

He sent the message off and rolled his eyes at his own patheticness. Why had he sent that? God, now he just sounded ridiculous and whiny. He took another bite of his sandwich, grimacing at the blandness of it all. 

Touching Some Grass:
It is rather boring hahaha
Are you trying to say you miss me, Hongjoong?

Hongjoong:
Ofc you’re my friend and I guess I’ve gotten used to us having lunch together this last month. 
So yeah, I miss you. Why couldn’t we do lunch today?

He waited ten minutes before getting a message back from the idol. By then, he had finished eating and cleaned off his plate. He quickly dried his hands and grabbed his phone to read the message. 

Touching Some Grass:
What is ofc? Second, I have to prepare myself for dinner tonight with your parents. Mentally. It’s a big deal. I’m silly. I know. I’m sorry.

Hongjoong:
Ofc just means “of course”
Why do you need to prepare yourself?! What?1 they’re just normal freaking people

Touching Some Grass:
No, they’re not. They’re your parents and I want to make a good impression on them. 

The salesman smiled down at his phone, enjoying their conversation. It felt more like how it used to feel, not forced, not distant. It helped to ease some of his worries, which was good. He didn’t want to go to dinner and fuck everything up by his anxiety, making matters ten times worse than they had to be. 

Hongjoong:
They’re just parents. They’ll immediately be impressed by you just because you’re from South Korea. 😅
Besides, you’re you! You don’t even need to try. Just be yourself and they’re bound to fall in love with you.

Was that going too far? Fuck! Hongjoong was the King of Making Things Worse in the land of Foot in Mouth. 

Touching Some Grass:
Aww that is so sweet Hongjoong. Thank you for saying that. 🤗

Hongjoong:
Ofc. 
Of course. 
What time should I come and pick you up? And I need your address. Lol just realized I don’t have it. 

Touching Some Grass:
I know what ofc means now hahaha
I’ll send you my location. 1:30 work? Or does 1 sound better in case of traffic?

Hongjoong:
1 works! I’ll see you soon. 

Touching Some Grass:
See you soon! ⭐❤️

⧭

Hongjoong had no trouble finding Seonghwa’s home and was not surprised to see that it was in a nice area of town. It was about a fifteen minute drive from his own home, but that also wasn’t surprising considering most places in Montrose could be reached in under thirty minutes. Seonghwa’s home was in a newly built subdivision that had the mountains as a beautiful backdrop to the landscape. The home still looked so new, and Joong wouldn’t be surprised to find out that it had never had another occupant. He pulled up into the driveway and parked in front of the closed garage. The garage and driveway were on the house's side, so he got out and followed the path to the front.

The lawn was well manicured, with various plants and beautifully lush grass. It felt so strange to be at his idol's front door, but he swallowed all of his anxiety and raised his hand to knock on the wooden door. 

He stepped back off of the single step up before the door, hands in his back pockets as he glanced around. It was a cute house. He was curious about what the inside looked like but didn’t want to assume that he would even be invited inside. After all, the wannabe producer was just picking Seonghwa up so they could go to class and then to dinner. A dinner that had the younger man so incredibly anxious. He had tried again to tell his mother not to make assumptions and that they were just friends, but he had a bad, nagging feeling that she had ignored everything he said. 

When the door opened two minutes later, Seonghwa beamed a big smile at him and stepped out, locking the door behind him. “Hi!”

“Hey.” Joong returned the smile before he gestured around him with his arms out. “You have a really nice house.”

“Oh, thank you. I’m still getting used to it.” The singer laughed. “You should see the inside. It’s such a weird layout, but I think it gives it character.”

Was that a hint? Hongjoong mentally sighed. He had to stop looking into every tiny thing. Instead of responding, he led the way to his jeep, and the two headed off for their class. 

“I didn’t realize how close you were to my house and my job.” He laughed. “Are you stalking me Park Seonghwa?” He put on a cheeky smile as he leaned towards the other man for a second. They pulled up to the stop sign at the end of the idol’s road. 

“Yep, you’ve figured me out again. I keep you around so I have someone to go kayaking with, and I’m stalking you to make sure you fulfill your end of the bargain.” The man played right along, laughing with his eyes. 

“What bargain?” Hongjoong raised an eyebrow as he pulled out onto the main road. 

“Kayaking,” Seonghwa answered. 

“But what’s the bargain?”

Seonghwa looked confused for a second. “Am I not using the right word?” He pouted in his confusion and it took everything in Hongjoong to keep his eyes on the road and not just pull over and hug the poor man. Fuck he was so adorable, and it was so unfair. 

“Maybe not?” Joong chuckled. “A bargain would imply that you get something, and I get something. It’s like an agreement between parties.”

“Oh. Then no, I used the right word.” The man smiled again, appearing quite proud of himself. 

Hongjoong’s brows drew together to show his own confusion. “What am I getting out of this then?”

“Being stalked by me,” Seonghwa answered with such nonchalance that Hongjoong nearly drove off the road. 

⧭

After the kayaking lesson, the pair loaded back into Joong’s jeep and drove to his parent's home. But only after the idol insisted on stopping back by his home to change his clothes, saying he wanted to look his best. However, what his best was nearly took Hongjoong out of existence. It was a pure miracle that he managed to survive, but his brain broke for a good thirty minutes, which was subsequently how long it took to get to his parent's house. They lived further out on the outskirts of town, so the drive ended up being one of the longer ones possible in Montrose. Hongjoong had sent his mother a text to inform her that he was on the way, knowing she liked being made aware of his actual arrival. Why, though, was beyond him. She had his location on her phone, but he also knew she had trouble working her phone half the time and always asked for his assistance. Too many times, he had thought about getting her a flip phone and being done with it. However, he liked the flip side of being able to see his parents' locations at all times, just in case they ended up needing him. 

Hongjoong pulled his vehicle into the driveway and felt the very familiar squirm of worms in his stomach. He was so nervous. He thought of not eating at all, but he knew his mother would worry and reprimand him, and his father would insist that he eat everything so as not to worry his eomma. Horrible. Seonghwa had already gotten out and came to stand by the driver’s side door as Joong tried to pull himself together.

The idol was dressed in light and dark shades of brown, and Hongjoong was pretty sure that the top Seonghwa wore was actually a dress, but it wrapped around his body just right, and fuck if he didn’t look amazing, especially with the belt he used around his tiny waist that only showed off how small it was. A low slit in the “shirt” showed off some of his chest, and a gold necklace that fit around his throat drew the eye ever so well. Dark brown leather pants wrapped around the singer’s legs and near matching brown boots with fucking heels completed the look. 

The beautiful man put Hongjoong to absolute shame, as he had undoubtedly not dressed up for the occasion. He was still wearing a pair of khaki colored pants, rolled up just a bit at the ankle, with a black belt, black shoes, and a black turtleneck. It was the most he had “dressed up” for kayaking class ever, and it had been quite uncomfortable in class. Thankfully, they weren’t on any water for this particular lesson, so he felt safe wearing it. Little did he know that Seonghwa was going to go and outshine him times a million. He should have expected it, for Joong already felt that the other man outshined him in everyday clothing. 

Breathing deeply, he finally opened the door and got out. 

“Are you okay?” Seonghwa seemed to ask that a lot. 

“Yeah-yeah, I’m great. You look amazing, by the way. I don’t know if I told you that already.” Fuck was he blushing?! Joong was pretty sure he could feel the heat on his cheeks. Did his words come across as flirtatious?! 

Seonghwa giggled, a hand over his mouth. “Yes, it’s all you’ve said since we left my house.” 

Fuck. 

“Right.” Joong kicked a foot along the pavement and nodded. He was a goner. The night had just started, and he was already ruining it. Of course, he blamed Seonghwa 1000%. Like, excuse him! Who gave him the right to look so fucking amazing? It was truly astonishing that the salesman wasn’t drooling or that his head hadn’t exploded the second the idol walked over to his jeep after getting changed. It had, however, taken Hongjoong five whole minutes to remember he was the one driving and actually to reverse out of the driveway… and that was only after Seonghwa managed to break him out of his own head and remind him. It had been a long and silent drive, and apparently, Hongjoong had only told him how great he looked and nothing else.

Amazing. He was such a fuck up. 

Hearing the door open, Joong sighed inwardly again. “That’s probably my eomma. Let’s go.” He reached out to take Hwa’s hand, but realized what he was doing and stopped halfway there, picking up his pace as he hurriedly walked ahead of Seonghwa not to embarrass himself further. 

As he rounded the corner, he found his mother stepping out onto the small porch. “Oh, there’s my Joongie. I thought I heard doors closing.” She shined with happiness as she looked her son over, pulling him into a hug as he got close enough. But then she released him and looked over his shoulder, no doubt at Seonghwa. 

“Oh!” Her face once again shined with happiness and a bit of shock, too. “Oh my, Joongie, you didn’t tell me that you were bringing a supermodel to dinner.” She shot him a dirty look as she greeted Seonghwa, who was already bowing before her. 

“Annyeonghasimnikka, eomma nim.” 

Hongjoong watched his mother return the bow, politely greeting the idol before she turned to her son for introductions. 

“Let’s get inside with Dad first so I can give introductions only once.” Hongjoong chuckled, and everyone agreed as they walked inside, replacing their shoes with slippers the moment they were in the home. Hongjoong was thankful for this since his bias was already taller than him, and the heels only added more height difference between them. 

Hongjoong’s mother led the way through the house and into the living room where his father sat, though the older man stood up as the company arrived. He hugged Hongjoong before repeating Joong’s mother’s actions, though his greeting with Seonghwa also included a handshake. 

“Great, okay. Eomma, Appa, this is Seonghwa. Seonghwa, these are my parents, Chul,” he gestured to his father, “and Gyeong.” 

“I must say, you are not what I was expecting, Seonghwa.” Gyeong laughed. “You look like an idol.” Her laughter continued as she spoke. “If you weren’t living here in Montrose, I might believe you were one of those boys. Oh, but where are my manners? It is so nice to meet you. I didn't even know that Hongjoong was seeing anyone.”

“Eomma!” Hongjoong knew this was going to happen. “We're just friends. I've told you this.” He spoke with indignation and full on embarrassment in his voice. 

“Of course you are, dear.” She patted His cheek, not believing him for a second. “But if that is true, I suggest you change that fact quickly. As pretty as he is, he'll be off the market in no time.”

“Oh my god.” Hongjoong held his head in his hands. “I'm so sorry, Hwa.”

Gyeong walked away, heading towards the kitchen. Seonghwa was laughing, though, and patted Joong on the back. “What are you apologizing for? I feel like I'm back home already. I love it.”

Of course, the idol would enjoy Gyeong and her relentlessness. Hongjoong was not going to survive the night. 

⧭

An hour later, the family and Seonghwa finished off the last bits of their dinner, with the promise of dessert around the corner. The conversation was polite and somewhat inquisitive, but otherwise, it was okay. No one had said anything else embarrassing or made any more assumptions. Gyeong did most of the talking, grilling Seonghwa for information on why he had left South Korea, to which he gave Joong’s mother a similar answer to what he gave the brown haired man. Simply that he needed a change of scenery, and when she asked what he did for a living, though, the black haired man had acted far more shy and self conscious, admitting that he hadn’t found anything just yet. 

“Oh, Joongie, you should see about getting him hired on at your job.” His mother nodded to herself, sitting across the table from where Joong and Hwa sat. 

Hongjoong nearly busts out laughing at the thought of a fucking k-pop idol working in a cellphone store. Hilarious! “Nah, I don’t think he’d like working there.”

Seonghwa chuckled and shook his head as he wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Oh, I don’t know, it could be fun. It would mean I get to see you more often, Joong.” He smiled shyly at the brown haired man, and suddenly the wannabe producer couldn’t breathe. 

Gyeong smiled so brightly that it nearly caused Hongjoong to go blind, but then her smile slipped, and she narrowed her eyes at the singer. Holding her hand to her chin, she tilted her head to the side, scrutinizing the man in a way that Joong didn’t like. After a few seconds, she snapped her fingers in an ah-ha moment and pointed over to Seonghwa. “I got it! I’ve been trying to figure out who you look like all night, and I figured it out.”

Oh god. 

“Oh? Who?” Seonghwa was not fazed. 

Gyeong chuckled as her glimmering eyes turned to her son. “Are you aware of Joongie’s obsession with K-pop?”

“Eomma, it is not an obsession.” Joong sighed, already knowing exactly where this was all going. He should have run away while he still had the chance. 

The black haired man nodded, with a serene smile on his face. “Yes, I know quite a bit about his love of k-pop.” 

Hongjoong’s mother nodded eagerly. “It’s a bit much, but it doesn’t harm him, mostly anyway.” Another laugh and another part of Joong’s soul left his body. “There’s one group he’s more partial to than the others, though. And one person he is very, very obsessed with, and that man is who you remind me of, Seonghwa.”

The salesman glowered at his mother, embarrassed and wanting just to disappear forever. Why was this happening?

Seonghwa laughed. “Oh, you mean AURAGE?”

“That’s the one!” Gyeong nodded. “Oh, Joongie is obsessed with that group and one of the singers. Has he told you about his over infatuation? That man in that group is why Hongjoong is still single. I swear it is. He’s spent the last several years wishing he could be in a relationship with an idol who doesn’t even know he exists. Joongie, Seonghwa is so nice and so beautiful. Can’t you see what is right in front of you?” Gyeong turned to face her son again, pleading in her eyes. 

Hongjoong, though, was as white as a ghost. It took Hwa’s hand on his own for him to jump back into his body and realize what had been happening. He looked down at the hand on his own and then at his mother. “That-that isn’t true, Eomma. I-I ad-admire him, that-that’s all. And Seonghwa and I are just friends!” He didn’t realize he was speaking so loudly until his father gave him a reprimanding look. “Sorry.” The man frowned and looked down. He didn’t even register that the musician still had his hand on Joong’s. 

The next words spoken were entirely in Korean and from Seonghwa to Gyeong. The salesman shot his head up, eyes narrowed as he looked between the two. He heard his name, but that was about it. He wasn’t fluent in Korean. Which was hilarious, considering he knew the lyrics to all of AURAGE’s songs, but that didn’t mean he knew what they meant. 

His mother responded back in kind, shaking her head.

The two had a conversation in Korean, and Hongjoong wasn’t able to understand anything. Seonghwa said his own name and his free hand went to his chest as he bowed his head. Gyeong looked surprised, but only momentarily before she flashed that bright smile again, nodding her head and just being way too animated and excited. Hongjoong felt like he was getting whiplash from how his head swiveled between the two. 

“You know it is insulting to talk in another language in front of someone who doesn’t understand it.” He grumbled. 

“Then you should have paid more attention when I tried to teach you,” Chul argued. 

Great. His own parents were against him. 

Seonghwa chuckled and squeezed Joong’s hand again. “Sorry, Hongjoong, I just had to clear a few things up with Eomma-nim, and it was easier in my native language than in English.” 

“How about that dessert?” Gyeong stood up and scurried off to the kitchen. 

⧭

Hongjoong and Seonghwa insisted on cleaning the dishes after dinner, and by the time they were done, it was getting rather late, so they said their goodbyes. 

Gyeong hugged her son tight and squeezed him so hard that Joong thought he heard a rib crack. “You better treat him right, Joongie. He is crazy about you.” She whispered the words into his ear, meant only for him to hear it, before she moved away and hugged Seonghwa. “You can come by whenever you want, Seonghwa. You’re basically family now.”

Hongjoong stood flabbergasted and confused. Seonghwa wasn’t crazy about him! And if he was, it was entirely in a friendly fashion and nothing more. Perhaps his mother was going insane.

“Ready?” The performer’s voice suddenly reached Joong’s ear, and he startled as he looked to the man and nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Joong was in such a daze, and that daze continued all the way to Seonghwa’s house. 

Seonghwa tried to make conversation, talking about how much he appreciated Joong for the evening, how great his parents and the food were, and that he just adored Gyeong and hoped he could go and visit her again if the brown haired man didn’t mind. After the first few minutes of not getting much of a response from the salesman, though, he gave up. 

Hongjoong pulled up in front of Seonghwa’s house, but the black haired man raised a brow at him.

“What? What’s wrong?” Joong looked confused. “Um, it isn’t illegal to be on the wrong side of the road when I’m just dropping you off.” He chuckled, thinking that the black haired man had a problem with him facing the wrong way on the street. 

“I was hoping to invite you in, Joong.” Seonghwa gave a small smile. 

“Oh, um, okay, yeah, I can-I can go inside.” What was happening? He told himself not to freak out that friends went into their friend's houses and there was no need to freak out. He turned his jeep around, thankful for the wide road, before he manuvered into the driveway and up to the garage door again. 

Joong stopped the engine and waited for Seonghwa to step out before he followed the man. They went back around to the front door. “Did you have fun tonight?” 

“Hmm?” Hongjoong was too far into his head to realize what Hwa had asked. 

The other man laughed as he opened his front door and led Joong inside. “I asked if you had fun tonight.”

Hongjoong stepped inside and got his first glance at the idol’s home as he took his shoes off. The sun had already set, so the living room was cast in shadows and darkness save for the nearby fake tree lamp, giving off a soft yellow glow. What appeared to be a fireplace stood around the corner from it. The weird layout was evident the second they were inside, as the tree lamp stood in front of a wooden railing where stairs lead downstairs. Joong could see another set of stairs opposite the one in front of him, creating a bit of a V shape. That was different. 

“Yeah, yeah, I did. Other than my mother being the way she is.” He shook his head, waiting as Hwa walked further inside and turned on a light. 

The living room was relatively modest. An electric fireplace did indeed stand next to the tree lamp, wrapped in stone that flowed to the ceiling. An elliptical and various workout equipment stood to one side, which Joong thought was weird. A large window stood behind the couch, a white couch, with a brown chair accenting the room with a wooden coffee table between the pair. Scenic wall art was tastefully placed around the room, as well as side tables, a bookcase, and various bits and decorative bobs. The floors were wooden, but two large beige rugs helped bring in some color. 

“I don’t spend much time in here.” Seonghwa laughed, apparently noticing how Joong looked around the room. “Come on, I’ll take you into the.. Den? I think that’s what the woman called it.” His hand reached out and grabbed Hongjoong’s, walking him over to the stairs he had seen when they first walked inside. 

The stairs led down to the ground floor, where a wide open room sat amidst several other rooms. This room was carpeted in a plush, comfortable carpet that felt nice under Joong’s socks. A small sectional and two recliners dominated the middle space, while a large entertainment center and tv stood against the wall. All of the curtains and blinds were pulled over the various windows. Seonghwa didn’t inform him of what the other doors were or the hallway he saw in the back. Instead walking over to the couch, the black haired man sat down and patted the space next to him. 

Hongjoong wanted to go home. He still didn’t know what had been said between his mother and Hwa, and once again, another person admitted to his idol just how crazy obsessed the brown haired man was. He couldn’t deny it anymore, could he? Hongjoong’s nerves were on fire. It was insane being inside Seonghwa’s home, and he probably would have been freaking out even more if it weren’t for his fear that the older man was about to tell him they couldn’t be friends anymore. 

Instead of running away, though, he took a seat, trying to put space between himself and his bias. Seonghwa apparently didn’t want space, though, for he scooted closer, his hand tentatively hovering over Joong’s. “Can I take your hand?” He requested it this time instead of just doing it, which was even more weird. 

“Um, yes?” Joong was so fucking confused. 

“Is what Eomma nim said true?”

The brown haired man looked confused. “She said a lot, so you’re going to need to be more specific.” He tried to chuckle, but it sounded forced. 

“Okay.” Seonghwa nodded. “I’m not used to being this…” he paused, searching for the word. He gave up and shook his head. “I’ve heard many people tell me things about you, Joong, but you keep denying them, and I’m unsure what to believe. So, I will just do my best to ask it without sounding pushy. Yeosang, Kiandra, and now your eomma have all said that you have a massive crush on me. Is that true?”

Oh fuck. Joong’s heart raced as it jumped into his throat. He felt the need to move, unable to stay seated, so he jumped to his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. 

Seonghwa followed. “It’s not a bad thing. Please don’t think I’m upset.” He pleaded, putting his hands on Joong’s arms to keep him still. 

Hongjoong looked at the other man with a mixture of worry, anxiety, and hope. It wasn’t a bad thing? Joong sighed. “Yeah, whatever, I’m done with all of this anyway. Yes, I have a crush on you.” He frowned and then quickly added, “But that doesn’t have to mean we can’t be friends. I mean, I’ve not flirted with you or tried anything, and I never will. I’m happy just being friends. Please don’t stop being friends with me just because I think you’re amazing and I have this stupid crush. You know, crushes on idols are perfectly normal, and a lot of people have them. I never thought that I would actually meet you, so it didn’t matter, ya know?”

Seonghwa kept opening his mouth and closing it as he realized Joong wasn’t done. When the man finally paused to gather air, Seonghwa jumped in. “Can I confess something?”

The wannabe producer nodded but still looked weary. 

“Sit back down, please, Joong. I’m not going to stop being your friend, so calm down, okay?” He squeezed the brown haired man’s biceps for assurance, and Joong retook his seat, feeling immensely relieved from the man’s words. 

“I remember you.” Seonghwa sat down next to Hongjoong, eyes shining with some new emotion that the salesman couldn’t place. 

“Remember me? What are you talking about?” The whole night was so confusing. 

Seonghwa’s cheeks turned pink. What the fuck.

“You came to one of AURAGE’s concerts. When I walked into your store, I saw you, and I recognized you from the concert-”

“Stop, no, you didn’t.” Joong shook his head in both disbelief and discomfort. Was Hwa trying to let him down easy by making him feel special?

“No, I’m serious. This is part of my confession, but there is more.” The black haired man licked his bottom lip before continuing. “You were front row, and I took your phone and recorded a bit for you before I returned it. We met after, at send off. You were with Jongho and Yeosang, though I didn’t know that was who they were then or after.” He chuckled. 

Hongjoong was floored. How the hell did his idol remember him?! “How? What? Hwa, how the hell? Forty thousand people were at that concert, and no telling how many were at send off. How do you remember me from everyone else?” Could the night get any weirder?!

“Because when I saw you in the crowd, I thought you were the most beautiful man I had ever seen.” 

Apparently, it could get much weirder. 

Chapter Text

“Because when I saw you in the crowd, I thought you were the most beautiful man I had ever seen.” 

How many words was that? Hongjoong’s brain fixated on the only thing that made sense to him as he tried to count. Twenty. It was twenty. Twenty words. He felt his head moving, nodding to those twenty words that didn’t make sense and didn’t fit in his world. Though just a month ago, being friends with Park Fucking Seonghwa didn’t fit into his world either. Twenty words, and so plainly spoken from the tongue of the Radiant of AURAGE, or rather, the former Radiant. Seonghwa’s beautiful voice had said those twenty words. His voice, with his adorable accent and honey tones. It was something that any fan of AURAGE wanted to hear from their bias. At least a male fan, anyway. 

He realized he was still nodding his head and stopped, though no words of his own formed or tried to press out of his lips. Not a single one, nowhere near twenty. What was there to say? He was flabbergasted and felt he was perhaps on a prank show or dreaming. There was just no way that Park Seonghwa had seen him in the crowd and thought such things about Kim Hongjoong. His brain, once again, could not process what had been said. 

“Joong?” Seonghwa stared at him with some level of expectancy in his eyes, but Hongjoong’s words still lacked. The black haired man reached out and grasped the wannabe producer’s hand. “Joong?” He tried again. “Are you… are you still with me?” There was a light laugh in his voice. 

“I ummm…” Hongjoong shook his head. “Sorry, I’m having a lot of trouble processing this. You… you fucking thought... What?” He stammered all over his words, barely able to contain his shock. “You, Park Fucking Seonghwa, thought I-I was the-the most what?!” His head was surely spinning, but he just couldn’t see it.

However, from the light in his idol’s eyes to the smile on his face, his head was still where it belonged. 

“The most beautiful man I had ever seen, yes.” Hwa nodded his head, a bright smile on his face as he finished Hongjoong’s words for him. “There’s a lot more to confess to you, but… I don’t know if I should continue or not. You don’t look well.” His free hand moved, and the back of his hand pressed against Joong’s forehead. “No fever, though.”

“Is this-are you-what?” Hongjoong stood up, needing to put space between himself and the gravity well that was Seonghwa’s presence. He distanced himself further by walking away from the sectional they had been sitting on so that he could pace in front of the tv. “Okay, let me get this straight..”

Hwa leaned back on the sectional and gestured with his hand for the brown haired man to continue, but his smile spoke volumes. He was clearly very amused. 

“So you’re telling me that you saw me at the concert, and you-you somehow thought I was… those words you used.” He shook his head. This couldn’t be reality. This didn’t happen in the real world! Again he wondered if he was in a fanfic. He had read plenty of self insert stories during his time as a Halo, but this one definitely took the gold. Kudos to the author. Whoever that was, for it sure as hell wasn’t Hongjoong. 

He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes large with a sudden realization that should have come long before. “You have a crush on me?!”

The idol’s cheeks flushed, but he smiled so much brighter than before. “Can you come and sit down, please? Like I said, I have a lot more to say, and I think it would be best to just get everything out in the open rather than breaking your perceived outlook on the world multiple times tonight. I assure you that everything I am saying is the truth and is real, Hongjoong.”

The brown haired man nodded slowly, feeling like a lost lamb that needed his shepherd, so he took the steps necessary to find shelter and safety in the one man who had always given it to him. Park Fucking Seonghwa. Except now he was the one causing the fright and anxiety in Hongjoong’s little heart, and it left him with a mixture of emotions. 

As soon as he was seated, Hwa retook his hands and held them in his own. 

“I’m going to say many things that you’re apparently going to have trouble accepting, but again, they’re all true. I want you to have the full story, though I admit to being afraid to tell you. I’m scared that once you accept everything, you’ll not want to be friends with me anymore. I won’t blame you, though.” He looked so scared and anxious, too, and it made Hongjoong laugh, breaking the momentary silence between them and startling Seonghwa out of his reprieve as he smiled easily, even in his confusion. 

“I’m sorry.” Hongjoong's upper half fell forward onto his knees and laughed harder before finally sitting back up and chuckling again. “It’s just, here we both are, having total freak out moments and being afraid and breaking our brains, and for what? This is so funny! I want to comfort you, and you’re trying to comfort me while freaking out, and I’m freaking out.” Soon, Hwa was laughing with him.

Eventually, they calmed down, and Joong smiled at Seonghwa like he had never smiled before. “I’ll accept what you’ve said. Your confession blows me away, but I’ll take it. Who wouldn’t want Park Fucking Seonghwa to have a crush on them? God, I’m insanely flattered. My ego might be so big now that we have to take this conversation outside, or else it might not fit in this room much longer. God, I can’t wait to tell Sangie. Just rub it all in his face that the sexiest man alive thinks I’m beautiful. What is the world coming to?” He rambled, but he didn’t feel that nervous anymore. This time, he took the idol’s hands in his own hands. “But I assure you that nothing you say will make me not want to stay friends with you. Well, unless you confess that all of this is a joke and you’ve realized that I’m really just the biggest fucking loser in America - but even then, I’d agree with you and laugh it off and still want to be friends.”

Seonghwa glared at him, cutting his eyes like Gyeong did when Joong would admonish himself. It nearly sent the man’s soul out of his body purely from fear. Instead, he shivered. “Oh my god, you just gave me the Hwa Mother Stare, holy shit. Am I still alive?”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that, Joong. You’re not a loser. And if you are, then I will stand by you as the second biggest loser in America then.”

Holy fuck. Hongjoong’s breath caught in his throat, and he nodded as he tried to compose himself again. “Okay, sorry. Um, continue with your confession?”

The singer nodded, looking rather pleased with himself and his ability to get the salesman to behave. “Okay, I saw you at the concert, and yes, I was taken away by how beautiful you were… and still are. I mean, I’ve seen attractive people before and even had a passing crush here and there, but you?” His eyes fleeted up to meet the wannabe producer, but only for a second. “I was surprised, but the show must go on, so I focused on the concert and tried to push the thought away. I was pretty successful, but then I met you at send off.”

Joong remembered that day like it was yesterday, even still after having had so many more experiences with Seonghwa. 

“I saw you, and-and my heart stopped.” Hongjoong had been looking down at the hands he held in his own, but his head shot up at those words, finding Hwa’s eyes on his own. “You were so nervous, and I was too, but I did my best not to show anything. It was obvious that you were more than just another male fan.” He chuckled. “I asked for your name, something I never did with any other fan at that concert or really at all in America. I just-I wanted to know more about you. I um- no, I don’t think I’m ready to share that.”

Hongjoong opened his mouth to ask what his bias was talking about, but the singer continued on, steamrolling over the single syllable that the brown haired man managed to dribble out. 

"You became my inspiration, Hongjoong. I still remember the moment I saw you in the audience that night—how you stood out from the sea of faces. You were glowing, and I... I couldn't take my eyes off you. You were the most beautiful man I had ever seen. At first, I thought it was just admiration, but it became more than that. Even after the concert, I kept thinking about you, replaying the way you looked at me, so open, so fearless.

When we met at the send off, I was so nervous. I tried to hide it, but you... you were so real. So true to yourself. I remember feeling like I was looking at the kind of person I wanted to be—someone who wasn’t afraid to exist in the world as he was. Your courage, your authenticity—it stayed with me. It followed me for months after, like a quiet whisper, reminding me that I didn’t have to hide anymore.

I couldn’t keep living a lie. The ghost of you, of that night, of your truth, held my hand and helped me face mine. When I finally told Prism I was coming out, it was because of you. You gave me the strength to be honest, to be myself. Without even knowing it, you became my guiding light, Hongjoong."

Joong didn’t even realize he was crying until Seonghwa’s thumbs slid over his cheekbones, wiping away the few tears that he had dropped. “Oh Joong, please don’t cry.” The man was smiling, though. 

How could Hongjoong not cry? The man that had been the biggest inspiration to him for so many years had just admitted that he, Kim Mother Fucking Hongjoong, had inspired his bias to come out. To be his true self. Authentic. It was such a beautiful thing and so unreal. Never in his life did he think that he would be the inspiration for his own role model. 

“Sorry.” He sniffed and tried to stop any more tears from falling as his eyes went to the ceiling. “Oh my god, this is-wow. I- wow.” What was there to say?! He was shocked even more than when his bias admitted to having a crush on him. “I can’t believe I’m the one that inspired you. Holy shit.”

Seonghwa smiled at him when he looked back down. “Believe it, you really did, and I am so thankful to you for it.”

“Are you sure about that?” Now, the guilt was hitting. “I took you away from what you loved. Coming out ruined your ability to be with Prism and AURAGE. We all know it. We know you didn’t decide that on your own, Hwa.” We being all the Halo’s in the world. 

The black haired man shrugged, but he didn’t deny it. “It’s fine. I knew that was a risk when I told them my decision, and despite it happening, there is nothing I would change if I could return to my set of choices. I couldn’t keep living a lie. You made me see that. I knew I’d rather be out of the spotlight and true to myself than continue with fame while lying about who I was.”

Hongjoong chuckled, “Maybe never tell people I’m the reason. I can only imagine the hatred I’d get from a lot of Halo’s for this one.” He was amazed and grateful that he had helped Seonghwa, but he definitely felt it should be something kept between the two of them (and Sangie, of course) and not something the whole world needed to know. 

“Your secret is safe with me.” The idol smiled, but his voice was quiet, on a whisper, and he looked anxious again. 

“What?” Hongjoong questioned, worried there was even more. He supposed there was, considering the singer had stated he wasn’t ready to share another part of his apparent confession. 

“Getting to know you this last month has been so nice, Joong. You’ve treated me like a human, and with respect and care, you’ve made me laugh and feel like my old self when I needed it the most. I’ve really enjoyed it and you. You make me feel…” he paused to bite his bottom lip, clearly contemplating whether he should finish his words. “I feel comfortable with you, and I hope that I’ve made you feel comfortable with me.” Something told the wannabe producer that that wasn’t the exact wording Hwa was going to use. 

“Of course you have! You know, once I got over the initial shock.” He chuckled. “Which I feel I’m back in a land of shock and delulu right now. I can’t believe all of this is happening and I’m pretty sure you’re going to laugh at me in a second, and Kiandra, my family, and Sangie are all going to bust out of these doors.” He gestured around the room, where five other doors existed. One on the opposite end of the tv, one near the stairs, one behind them, and then an alcove on the other end of the tv that showed two closed doors inside of it. 

Seonghwa laughed, “Guess I need to give you a tour to ease your mind, but no, we’re the only ones here, and I’m not playing a prank on you, Joong.”

Hongjoong nodded. “I’d love a tour, but… what does this all mean?” Should he ask his idol out on a date? Was that even allowed?! He was pretty sure it wasn’t. Well, AURAGE didn’t have the dating ban that most K-pop groups had, and Seonghwa wasn’t part of the group anymore or was under the contact and legalese that had bound him to Prism Entertainment either. 

“What do you want it to mean, Hongjoong?” Seonghwa’s eyes implored him to take the next step if there was going to be one.

Fuck.

Hongjoong wasn’t strong enough for this. Asking his idol out on a date?! He took a steadying breath, slowly nodding his head as the full realization hit him and left him momentarily brain dead again. A date with Park Fucking Seonghwa. Once again, he was living every Halo’s dream, and his heart raced so fast that it jumped into his throat within seconds of taking off from the starting line. He was pretty sure that he was breaking out into a sweat. Shit, he needed to calm down. A date. It was just a date. Maybe it would be the best thing ever, or perhaps it would be horrible, and they’d realize they needed to stay as friends. Friends. Hongjoong didn’t want to lose that. 

Squeezing Hwa’s hands, he finally spoke, “I want to ensure that we stay friends no matter what happens. I don’t want ever to lose you from my life. You’ve been a constant presence for me for so long… I-I don’t think I know how not to have you there. Of course, you’re here now in a very different capacity, but I don’t want to lose that. So, with that in mind, Park Seonghwa, will you do me the honor of going out on a date with me? We can try to navigate all of this and see what happens, and if it doesn’t feel right, then we can just stay as friends. Please?”

The black haired man pulled his hands from Hongjoong’s and lurched forward, wrapping his arms around the other man before the salesman lost his balance and fell backward into the arm of the couch, causing him to chuckle as he returned the hug. “Is that a yes?”

“Of course, it’s a yes. I’m just so touched by you. I want to remain friends, too, Joong. You’re my only friend here, and I don’t want to imagine not having you around.” He squeezed the brown haired man before he let go and sat up straight, taking Joong’s hand once more to pull him into an upright position. “We will take things slow.”

Joong nodded his head. He needed slow. It was the only way that his brain wouldn’t implode. “Yeah, slow. I agree.” God, what if he got to kiss Park Fucking Seonghwa?! His eyes landed on the man’s beautiful plush lips; it was all he could think about. Oops, agreed to take things slow and then immediately got stuck in fantasy land over what those lips might feel like against his. 

If Seonghwa noticed, he didn’t say anything, but there was a light twitch of his lips in an upward fashion before he stood up, hand still holding Hongjoong’s. “Okay, let me give you a tour. A backwards one since we’re starting down here instead of in the living room.”

Seonghwa showed Hongjoong around his home, starting in the den they were sitting in. The other doors were opened to reveal three guest rooms (two right off the den and the third down a short hall in the back), a bathroom, a private office/studio, and the laundry room. Back upstairs, Hongjoong was shown a little reading nook near the entrance from the garage, a second office and bathroom, the kitchen, and the door to Seonghwa’s room, which he was not shown and did not ask to see it. A wooden deck stood off the kitchen, raised above the ground. It gave a beautiful view of the mountains and the large yard that Seonghwa had. An area on the side had been cleared of grass, instead covered with gravel. A fire pit and weatherproof furniture sat around it. 

Seonghwa walked back outside with Hongjoong to his jeep, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. “I really enjoyed meeting your parents, Joong. Though we might have done things backward, just like the tour.” 

They stood next to Joong's jeep underneath a beautiful sky filled with stars. However, most of those stars weren't seen due to light pollution. 

“Backwards can be fun.” Hongjoong mentally slapped himself for such a stupid response. “Hey, what did you say to my eomma?” A change of subject was sorely needed. 

Seonghwa wore a cocky knowing smile as he rocked on his heels. “I just told her who I really was and asked if you actually did have a crush on me.”

Goddamn it. Hongjoong really detested his inability to pick up a second language. A language that he should have been fluent in as often as his parents and brother spoke in it. He just didn't have an ear for languages. He had tried to learn French in high school and barely passed. Now, he only remembered a few words from all the lessons. 

“Oh my god. I doubt she believed you.” But she probably did tell Hwa that Joong’s crush was indeed the real thing, no matter how many times he said it wasn't. 

The idol shrugged, “It doesn't matter if she did or not because she told me what I needed to know. You have a crush on me.” He untucked a hand from his pocket and booped Joong's nose, laughing at the way the brown haired man crinkled it at the touch. “Why did you keep denying that, by the way?”

The wannabe producer frowned, shuffling from one foot to the other. “Because I didn't want to chase you away or make you not want to be friends with me. I never could have imagined that you felt the same way.”

“Why not?” Hwa was genuinely confused. 

“I told you already, I'm a-.” He paused, knowing he'd get in trouble if he called himself a loser. “I'm just a normal person, and you're you. You're so much bigger than me, and I don't mean by you being taller.” He laughed, albeit awkwardly. “I spent so many years dreaming of something like this happening, and now that it is happening, I don't really know how to handle it.” He hated to admit it, but it was true. 

Seonghwa grabbed his hand again, and honestly, the brown haired man was starting to get used to the way Hwa's soft fingers felt against his flesh. 

“Slowly. That's how you handle it. One day at a time. And if it's ever too much, you tell me.”

“I tell you, and then what?”

“You decide. I'll go along with whatever you need, Joong. I want you to be comfortable. I know this has been a lot for you.” 

Hongjoong was very lucky. Perhaps the luckiest person in the entire world. Park Seonghwa wanted to go on a date with him, wanted to be friends with him, and had a crush on him. Not to mention that the idol remembered him from a concert of over forty thousand faces and thought the brown haired man, of all people, was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. It was a wild ride, but he did not intend to get off it. Hwa sounded so understanding and patient. These were both things that the wannabe producer needed if they were to be successful. And he wanted nothing more than to be a success story with his bias. 

“I appreciate you for being patient with me, 'cause you're right, this is a lot. But I'm really excited for it all. Please don't think I'm not.” He laughed and slotted his fingers between the idol's. “So, first date next week then? Or Monday? That's my next day off. Feels weird to have our class during a date.” He realized how quickly he was moving, and his eyes grew large. “Oh god, is that too fast? Should we do the week after next?”

Seonghwa shook his head. “No, Monday is perfect.”

So it was decided. They would have their date in just three days' time. Hongjoong knew he needed to plan something special. He was determined not to fuck things up. This was a once in a lifetime experience for any Halo. 

⧭

“Shut the front fucking door, Hongjoong, no!” Yeosang stared at his friend as if he had gone crazy. 

“He’s full on delulu now.” Kiandra chimed in from beside Sangie, shaking her head. 

Hongjoong had just announced his impending date with Seonghwa. Of course, he had to work, so he called Yeosang to visit him once he was off work. Luckily, the masseuse only had three clients that day and was off work by two. 

He sat before the pair with a big grin on his face. 

“I’m not delulu. We really are going on a date. On freaking Monday at that, and I have no idea what we should do.”

Kiandra rolled her eyes as she looked at Yeosang. “He’s your best friend outside of here, so I’m going to need you to reign him in, please.”

Yeosang chuckled, “But I think he’s telling the truth. I thought Seonghwa might have a crush or something when I met him, and now this confirms it. Holy crap.”

Diamond, the new girl that Hongjoong hadn’t gotten much of a chance to speak with, suddenly popped her head up from a nearby table. “Seonghwa? You guys know a Seonghwa?”

Something about the question made Joong concerned. Was she a Halo? It wasn’t his place to give away private information on Seonghwa and his living in Montrose. If the man wanted to do that himself, he could, but the salesman refused—at least to a stranger, and not someone who was Kang Yeosang. 

“Um, yes?” He questioned cautiously, glancing at the other two with his unease, hoping they’d follow his lead. 

“That’s so wild!” Diamond laughed. “Ya’ll probably don’t follow K-pop, but there was a man in a really popular group named Seonghwa.” She chuckled, and Hongjoong nearly fell out of his chair. Another Halo?! In Montrose, at that! Well, maybe. All because she knew his name didn’t mean she was actually a fan.

“Oh no, baby, these two are avid K poppers or whatever.” Kiandra shook her head again but thankfully didn’t say anything about Seonghwa or his affiliation with all three of them. 

“What?!” Diamond stood up from her seat, hands on the table as she looked at the trio. “If you say you’ve been to any concerts…”

“We have,” Hongjoong answered. 

The woman’s face turned to one of shock and pretend rage. “If you say you went and saw AURAGE…”

“We did.” Yeosang nodded. 

Another pretend rageful look crossed her face. 

“Got interactions with members of the group, too. We were front row.” Hongjoong laughed as he dug his phone out of his pocket to navigate to his photo album. 

“If you say Mingi…”

“Oh yeah, he waved at us and pointed at us, " Yeosang said with a big smile. 

“I hate both of you,” Diamond announced. Grabbing her tablet, she moved to their table and took the last remaining chair. 

“We met them too.” Yeosang acted shy as he said the last part.

“What?!” Diamond exploded. “Oh my god. I don’t think I can work here anymore.” She held her hands in her head and sighed dramatically. 

Kiandra looked between the three with a face that said, “What have I gotten myself into?”, with a grimace on her features. “Lord, they multiplyin’!” 

Hongjoong pulled up the video of Mingi waving at them and showed it to Diamond, who nearly fainted on the spot. “Oh my god! Look at that fine hunk of man. I would have died. Oh my god! How are you still alive, sir?!” She looked at Hongjoong for the answer.

He laughed, finding her reactions and over the top personality to be quite charming and funny. “I mean, Seonghwa is my bias, and he took my phone during the concert and touched my arm during send off. So I probably actually ascended or died, and I’ve just not realized it.”

“Oh my god,” Diamond repeated herself. “I need them to come back to America. I need to see them in concert. Mingi is my man. I’m going to figure out how to get to South Korea and kidnap him. Do you want me to hunt down Seonghwa while I’m there and kidnap him too?”

Joong couldn’t help but laugh and for several reasons. Diamond was funny. Her plan, which he was sure was just a joke, was also amusing. Then, she still thought Seonghwa was in Korea in the first place. Since she hadn’t said anything bad about him, he assumed she wasn’t one of the Halo’s that was upset with the Radiant. “Sure, please do that. Get an overly large suitcase and throw some Lego Star Wars sets inside, and he’ll jump right in.”

Diamond pointed at him with her pen. “Bet!” Turning to Yeosang, she asked him, “Who do I need to kidnap for you?”

“Oh, kidnap Wooyoung and San, please. Wooyoungie is my son; I’ve adopted him, and San is my pretend boyfriend that my real boyfriend doesn’t know about.”

Hongjoong rolled his eyes with a smile on his face. 

“Bet and bet!” Diamond nodded, eyes going to Kiandra. “You didn’t mention anything, so are you not into K-pop?”

“Baby, no.” The woman sighed. “I leave all of the delulu to Hongjoong and somewhat to Yeosang, too. He doesn’t work here, so I don’t have to listen to his delulu until he comes in to visit my work bestie.”

Diamond frowned at her. “Hongjoong and I will turn you into a Halo. Yunho’s available, apparently. He’s pretty hot, and you can have him. You can’t have Mingi. Princess Mingi is mine, and this greedy mother fucker has claimed two of them.” She gestured to Sangie, who protested with an audible, “Hey.”

Thankfully, no one told her about Seonghwa’s existence in Hongjoong’s personal life. Diamond got so sidetracked with finding two Halo’s that she didn’t bring up the aforementioned Seonghwa that had sparked the whole conversation. The day flew by after that, even after Yeosang left. Hongjoong and Diamond continued talking about K-pop for the rest of her shift, much to Kiandra’s chagrin. 

Once he made it home, he texted Yeosang for date ideas. 

Yeosang: 
Idk ask Jongho
He’s the one that decides our dates 95% of the time
Ugh hes so romantic and i love it
Are u jelly

Hongjoong:
No. 
But I am happy for you, and you’re still welcome for making it happen.

Yeosang:
Gtfo

Hongjoong giggled, pulling his messages up with Jongho and explaining to him that he needed date ideas. Ten minutes later, the man reached out to him with a list of ideas. Hongjoong thanked him and spent a good hour trying to decide which ones would be the best for him and Seonghwa. Eventually, he decided on two activities and texted the idol. 

Hongjoong:
I’m gonna spoil the first part of our date for you because you need to be prepared for it and wearing the proper clothing.

Touching Some Grass:
Oh? What are we going to be doing?

The brown haired man really needed to change Seonghwa’s name in his phone, but he was too lazy. 

Hongjoong:
We’re gonna go hiking in the Black Canyon. It’s beautiful there year round, but right now with the fall foliage? Even freaking better! So you’ll want to wear comfortable clothing and proper shoes. Also if you have a backpack, I recommend bringing that with some snacks and water inside. We’re going to go to a picnic area on the trail, so I’ll bring the stuff for lunch. 

Touching Some Grass:
That sounds amazing, Hongjoong! I will dress accordingly. I’m really excited!

Hongjoong:
Me too!

Chapter Text

The air still held a chill as it whipped through the canyon, shaking the orange and yellow leaves overhead as Hongjoong and Seonghwa walked on their path. Both were dressed in jackets, jeans, and hiking boots. Hongjoong's backpack held a few snacks, a couple of water bottles, and the lunch he had promised his date. He also brought along a pair of gloves in case the chill got to him. A light blue beanie sat snuggly on his head, helping to keep him warm. In his hands was a thermos of coffee. He had brought warm tea for Seonghwa. 

The pair had been on the path for about thirty minutes. The start of the trail was on pretty even ground, a canopy of trees all around them and over their heads. The sounds of birds chirping and taking flight set their background music, as did the leaves they crunched underfoot. Joong knew that a good resting spot was just around the bend and was excited for the idol to see it. The view was breathtaking, and he was sure it would impress the other man. 

The conversation between them was mainly about the cold air and the beautiful colors of the leaves. Seonghwa had a scarf wrapped around his neck, and his gloves were on, not in his backpack. The man also wore a beanie with little cat ears on top. The idol was not a fan of the cold but didn't complain about it once. Hongjoong knew that the longer they were on the path the more they would heat up. Both with the rising temperatures and the inclines he knew existed on the trail. 

“We can stop and rest soon.” Joong smiled over at Hwa, seeing the bend getting closer. “Also, might wanna walk behind me or closer. A lot of sheer cliffs are coming up, and the trail gets slimmer.”

Seonghwa immediately stepped closer, wrapping an arm around the wannabe producer’s arm, which made Joong smile. His heart picked up pace, not from their walking. 

Another five minutes passed before they came around the bend. The trees disappeared on one side, opening up a canyon with the sheer cliff drops that the brown haired man had mentioned. The wide open vastness of the canyon spread before them, with the Gunnison River glinting far below them. The cliffs appeared black in the shadows they cast, giving the canyon its name. The two walked over to a small outcropping on the trail's edge, offering the best view and a bench to take a break on. 

Joong led them over to it, but Hwa didn't sit. He stood on the edge and looked at the view with his mouth agape. “Oh my god, this is so beautiful.” A sea of orange, yellows, and reds stared back at them far below. Hongjoong had been mesmerized by the view so many times, but this instance was far greater than any previous time he had climbed the trail. This time, he introduced Seonghwa, and seeing his idol standing in a spot that was so familiar to him was a thing of beauty. 

“My god, you really realize how small you are, don't you?” Hwa's face continued to shine with wonder. 

“Hey! I'm not that short. I'm the average height for a man in America. Well… minus an inch.” Joong argued. 

Seonghwa didn't appear to hear him, still staring out in awe. Joong let him have his moment, not saying anything else and not being able to move away due to the way Hwa clung to his arm. When he looked in the idol's direction next, his eyes were closed, and nothing but the sounds of nature could be heard around them. It brought a smile to Joong's face. He looked so happy and serene, and that was always an expression he wanted to see on the man. 

It was only another minute before Seonghwa opened his eyes again and looked away from the view before him, turning to face Joong instead. “Thank you for bringing me here.” He squeezed the salesman's arm and pulled him away to the bench. “I'm starving. I brought snacks.”

The singer pulled his backpack off and sat it in his lap, rummaging through it. “I got protein bars, and these little crackers that look like bears, and beef jerky, oh and turkey?” He made it sound like a question before he continued. “Turkey jerky, in case you don't like beef.” 

His kindness and concern over what the brown haired man may or may not have warmed Hongjoong’s heart. Which was good because he was cold. He took another sip of his coffee, letting the warmth from the liquid warm him further. “I'm fine with beef jerky. And a protein bar, too. Gotta keep our energy up.”

The black haired man pulled out a small package of beef jerky and a protein bar and handed them over to Joong. “How long is this trail?”

“It's a little over a mile. I think the more accurate is a mile and a half.”

Seonghwa blinked and pulled his phone out. “Oh, okay.” He took a few pictures of the canyon while Joong sat in confusion. 

“Umm…”

“Hmm?” Hwa turned to him with a raised brow. 

“What was that all about?” Hongjoong chuckled. 

“I don't know the imperial system. Or rather, I'm still learning it. I just had to do a conversion because it was like you were speaking French to me.”

The shorter man laughed and shook his head. “Sorry, I don't know the metric system at all. We've got about half an hour left till we reach the end of the trail. Figure we can eat at the next stop, and then it's a fifteen minute walk out from there.”

Seonghwa bit into his protein bar and nodded his head. His knee brushed against Hongjoong’s, and he left it there. “I want to come here again. Maybe I'll come and hike tomorrow. It's so beautiful.”

“It's one of my favorite trails. I can take you on another one sometime if you like. There is a second moderately easy hiking trail that has really great views. It's called Rim Rock.” Joong took a few pieces of beef jerky from the package and chewed on them. 

“I'd love to go.” The way he looked at Joong could have stopped the salesman's heart. There was so much adoration in his sparkling eyes that it nearly doubled the man over. He never thought Park Fucking Seonghwa would stare at him like that. The brown haired man wondered if he would ever get over the shock he continued to experience with his bias. Part of him hoped it would continue, while the other part hoped it would disappear. He could enjoy a perfectly normal and healthy relationship (in whatever capacity) with the idol.

After they finished their snacks and drinks, Hwa went back to the edge to take more pictures. Most of the pictures were of the landscape, but a few were selfies. Joong remained on the bench, watching with a stupid smile on his face. When Seonghwa turned to face Joong, his phone held before him, the brown haired man didn't initially realize that his picture was being taken. He had looked away, not wanting the man to see that he had been staring so intently. 

“Smile!” Joong looked back to Seonghwa with his brow raised. “Are you taking my picture?”

“Absolutely!”

The blush that appeared on his face brought warmth back into his system, but he did his best to smile and look natural even as his insides squirmed again. 

“You're so ha-” Hwa paused and lowered his phone after presumably taking the picture. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so forward.”

Hongjoong stood up and walked over to the black haired man. “How are you being forward?”

The idol looked nervous, and it made Joong want to laugh.  He was usually the nervous one, not Seonghwa. 

“We’re on a date, so things automatically feel different?” He questioned the use of the word, but the wannabe producer nodded his head to clarify it was the right one. “I don’t want to be too forward with you and give you a bad…” he paused, thinking again of the right word. “I don’t want to have you think badly of me.”

Joong offered up a soft smile and courageously moved his hand to run it down Seonghwa’s arm, from the elbow to his wrist, in what he hoped was a comforting move. “I’ve told you that isn’t possible. Besides, I think us being on a date means you have even more reason to be “forward,” as you put it.” Though he should have taken his advice and been forward, he was far too nervous. He wanted to be forward, wanted to say and do a lot of things, perhaps not on the first date, but down the line. Though he feared he would never be able to. He respected Seonghwa too much and knew that Korean cultural norms differed significantly from American norms. Hell, a lot of people anymore had sex on the first date, and that was the farthest thing from Joong’s mind. 

Seonghwa nodded slowly, staring down at his phone. He turned it around to show Hongjoong the picture he had taken of him. Honestly, it was a perfect picture. The sunlight had just come over the canyon's rim and cast Hongjoong in a vivid light that caught all the right angles. He was smiling at Seonghwa as the man had requested, and his eyes shined with happiness, reflecting the sun's light back at the person who had always brought him such joy. It was easy to see how smitten he was with the idol just from the one picture. “I was just saying that you are very handsome. This picture doesn’t fully show how handsome you are, but it comes close.”

Hongjoong was blushing again, but his stupid smile was back. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to you saying such things about me.” He looked down at his feet, unable to maintain eye contact. 

“I hope you don’t. Then I can always get this response from you.” Seonghwa chuckled and grasped his hand. 

They fell into easy silence that didn’t feel awkward or forced, and were soon back on the path. Fifteen minutes later they came to the picnic area. It was another overlook, but larger than the last. Various benches and tables marked the area. Two other hikers were near the edge talking and smiling, but otherwise it was quiet. 

The two men navigated to one of the tables, and Joong pulled out the food he had brought with him. “I hope you like turkey, 'cause that’s what I brought.” He chuckled. “Turkey and cheese wraps. I made them myself because they don’t require cooking.” Seonghwa laughed with him. “They’ve got spinach in them, even though I hate spinach and avocado. Supposed to be good for you, I don’t know. My mom used to make these for my brother and me when we would come out here.” He placed down the two wraps before diving back into the bag. Next, he pulled out a container of apple slices, grapes, and, finally, two brownies. “It’s nothing fancy, but you can’t do fancy when hiking.” 

“Oh no, whatever shall I do with wraps? I was expecting caviar and wine.” The idol shook his head, faking a snooty voice and attitude. 

Joong laughed. “Sorry, Your Highness, I’ll have to save that for date two.”

“Date two, hmm? So there will be another one?” Seonghwa perked up, grabbed his turkey and cheese wrap, and started pulling the plastic off it. 

Hongjoong sat down and did the same with his own. “I mean, this date isn’t over yet, but I’m hoping we will.” He looked at his idol, watching his expression for any sign that the man didn’t want a second one. 

Instead, he got a vigorous nod and a big smile. “Absolutely! I don’t care if this one isn’t over yet. I definitely want a second date with you, Joong.” 

The butterflies danced in the brown haired man’s stomach, making him smile. “Good.”

After they finished eating, they stuffed everything into Hongjoong’s backpack and continued down the path, completing the whole trail nearly twenty minutes later. Both were physically tired but invigorated. Seonghwa continued to talk about how beautiful it all was and how much he appreciated the time they spent on the trail. Hongjoong informed him that the date still wasn’t over, and that they both should change their clothes before the second portion of the date. 

“I’ll drop you off at your house. I recommend casual attire still. I can pick you up in an hour. Or maybe two hours?”

“I’d like to shower, so two hours works best for me.”

Joong agreed and proceeded to drive the singer back to his home, a good twenty-five minute drive. They talked about various light topics on the way, and Seonghwa looked at the pictures he had taken of the canyon and the foliage. 

⧭

The second part of the date took place at the annual Autumn Festival. Hongjoong hadn’t been in three years, having last attended with Yeosang and his brother. It had been a good time, but he hoped this time would be even better. It was set farther out from the bustle of town, so it was another drive to reach it, but only thirty minutes. Hongjoong warned Seonghwa that he intended their date to be an all-day event, and the idol didn’t appear to mind. He said he was happy to be out of the house and even more happy to be spending time with Hongjoong. Which, of course, led the man to blush again. 

There were two parts to the festival, and it was all dependent on the time of day. Hongjoong wanted them to participate in activities offered during the day and night, so they had to be there all day. Luckily, there was a lot to see, even more to do, and tons of food stalls available for them to eat at. Though it was possible they’d both be exhausted by the night's end, as long as Seonghwa had a good time, that was all that mattered. It was so important to the Halo to give his bias the best night possible. However, it made him question what they could possibly do on a second date that might top the first. Was it bad to include so much in just the first date?

It mattered little, for they were already at the festival, having parked just moments before. Seonghwa insisted on holding Hongjoong’s hand, though the younger of the two didn’t complain. It felt so nice to be walking hand in hand with the man he was so crazy about. It also told him that he was doing something right if Hwa wanted to be close to him. Of course, he questioned if it was just the black haired man’s need for skinship or if he genuinely wanted to be closer to Joong. His insecurities still flared up occasionally despite how far he managed to go with the whole situation. 

“I’ve never been to a festival like this.” Seonghwa was saying as they neared the entrance. 

“Oh, you’re in for a treat then.” Joong chuckled. “They’ve got so much to do here. I didn’t figure it was something you were all that familiar with, though, especially considering Halloween is more of an American thing. Or at least, it’s a lot bigger over here, from what I understand.”

“Yeah, it’s not a traditional holiday back home. It’s gained some traction just since I was a child, but it is still growing in popularity. I’ve seen some movies, so I sort of know what to expect here, but I’ve never participated in any of the things I’ve seen on tv.” The man chuckled. “Mostly, we just dressed up back home and went to costume parties. Retailers always put on good Halloween sales.”

Hongjoong grinned. It was so exciting knowing that everything they were going to do would be the man’s first time experiencing it. “I think you’re really going to like this, then. Question, though: Do you scare easily?”

Seonghwa stopped and stared at Joong’s back as the brown haired man continued walking, only to be stopped by the tug on his hand. He turned and looked back at the idol with a smile. “Is that a yes?”

“Why are you asking?”

Joong tried to subdue his smirk and his laughter, but it was difficult. “Because I want to take you through a haunted house.”

“Absolutely not.” Seonghwa paled considerably and shook his head. 

Hongjoong stepped in front of him, searching his face to see if the man was serious and giving a full stop or just needed encouragement. “Do you really not want to?”

Hwa looked towards the entrance, where a line of a few people were waiting to buy their tickets and get inside. “How scary are they?”

“The one here is pretty tame, honestly. It’s not that bad since it is meant to be family friendly. Maybe a few jump scares, but that’s it. They’re not allowed to touch you or invade your personal space.” Joong explained. 

The idol sighed. “I’ll think about it. Let’s see what else they have to offer first?”

“Of course, I didn’t want to do the haunted house until it’s dark anyway.” The man chuckled. “But you know, if you get scared in the haunted house, you can just get closer to me.” Where had that confidence come from?! Hongjoong didn’t know, but he smirked with his words anyway, trying to keep hidden how fucking anxious he had just made himself. 

“You want me closer, Joong?” The singer returned the smirk with one of his own as he closed the space between them to less than an inch, nearly chest to chest. 

Fuck! What had Hongjoong done?! His heart nearly beat out of his chest as he tried to play it cool and act like he wasn’t at all affected by the man. “I’m just saying I’ll protect you.”

“That’s good to know. My.. what is the saying? My night in shining armor?” He frowned. “That isn’t it. That doesn’t make sense.”

“It does, and that is the saying.” The salesman shook his head with a gentle smile.

“How does that make sense? Why would the night wear armor? Unless it is a-a metaphor? Are the stars the shining armor?”

Hongjoong laughed so hard that Seonghwa frowned at him. “I’m sorry. I swear to god I’m not laughing at you.” The man pulled Hwa into a hug. “You’re just so adorable, and I can hardly stand it.” 

“What did I do?” The idol returned the hug but quickly pulled himself out of to get his answer. 

“Okay, there are two ways of spelling night, and it all depends on what kind of night you’re talking about. Night, n-i-g-h-t as in nighttime. That one you already know. Then there is k-n-i-g-h-t, as in a knight in like medieval times or whatever. So a knight in shining armor, because they wore armor and were protectors.”

Seonghwa’s eyes grew exponentially. “Oh, that makes so much more sense.” He laughed. “I see why you found this funny.”

“No, I found it adorable. You’re incredibly cute when you get this stuff mixed up, and I totally get it. English is weird, but I’m happy to be your teacher.”

The idol beamed at him. “I appreciate your patience and helping me learn more.”

“Absolutely. I’ve gotta be more useful than just a kayaking buddy, or else you won’t keep me around.”

⧭

Over the next hour, the two meandered through the festival grounds, stopping at various booths and stalls. Cotton candy, fried turkey legs, and funnel cake were consumed in copious amounts. Seonghwa had gladly bought a few pieces from a local artist and wooden carvings another person was selling. The pair had to make multiple trips back to Hongjoong’s jeep to deposit things, but no one complained. 

Hwa’s favorite booth ended up being the face painting booth. He seemed very pleased with the three golden stars painted on his cheek. Joong had opted into a spiderweb on one cheek. They found a photo booth and crammed themselves into the small station to take a series of photos. One where they were just being goofy, one where they were pretending to be serious, and one where they smiled true and genuine smiles. More pictures were taken by a professional who had set up another booth with an autumn themed background. Just one picture, but the pair stood with their backs to one another with their hands up as if they were guns and looking all serious. They giggled over the picture they were shown afterward. 

Next on the agenda was hot apple cider. The two sat together at a little table in front of the booth, sipping their cider and enjoying the live music that played nearby. There was a chill to the air again, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been that morning. Children ran past, yelling and giggling, and festivalgoers moved with purpose toward various booths and stalls. 

“I wanna try our hand in the pumpkin carving contest,” Hongjoong announced with a triumphant smile. 

“Pumpkin carving contest? Okay, but you should know I’ve never carved a pumpkin. I don’t even know how someone does that.” Seonghwa laughed. 

“Oh, it’s pretty easy. You just gotta use a stencil. I’ve not carved one in years. God, I think I was twelve the last time I carved one.” Joong shook his head, sipping on his cider again. 

“What kind of stencils do they have?”

“Well, I don’t know about here specifically, but most places will have the option between cute, spooky, or silly.”

Seonghwa nodded. “I think we should do cute.”

“What? No way, we gotta do silly.” Hongjoong shot back. 

The idol narrowed his eyes playfully at the brown haired man. “But cute is more likely to win, right? Everyone loves cute things.”

“They also love silly things.” The wannabe producer countered. 

Hwa pouted, and goddamn it if it wasn’t the cutest thing ever. Hongjoong grabbed his phone from the table and snapped a picture. He turned it to the idol. “That’s what we should put on the pumpkin cause this is the cutest expression ever.”

The singer laughed again. “Oh my god, Joong, we are not putting me on a pumpkin. How would we even do that?”

“Relax, I’m just joking. But I see your point. Cute it is.” 

The two finished their cider and headed off for the pumpkin carving tent. They decided to share one pumpkin rather than do two on their own. Hongjoong was surprised when he was told they would need to gut the thing themselves. He had never done that before, but the woman at the tent assured him it was easy. 

“Just cut the top. A full circle all the way around.” Seonghwa read the instructions to the salesman as Hongjoong drove the serrated knife into the top, slowly moving it around the rim. It was a lot harder than he expected. 

Once he finally had the top off, he looked inside, and both men grimaced. “What are we supposed to do with all of this?” Hongjoong gestured to the pulp and seeds. 

The idol grabbed the instruction page again and frowned. “We have to pull it out.”

“What?” Hongjoong balked at the mere thought of sticking his hands into the disgusting mass. 

“Here, I’ll go first.” Hwa was braver than his counterpart as he boldly stuck both hands into the mess, the biggest frown possible on his face. “Oh my god, it’s so gross.” He whined as he pulled some of the pulp out and deposited it in a nearby bowl they had been provided with. He examined his hands and grimaced again. “I might be sick.”

“It can’t be that bad.” Joong frowned at his date’s hands before he stuck his own in and gagged. “Oh my god, it is that bad. Holy shit, why did I think this would be fun?”

An hour later, they finally had the pumpkin hallowed out, after taking turns and nearly losing their lunch multiple times. The texture was just so gross, and neither man was equipped to deal with it. 

“Okay, okay, now that the trauma is over, let’s carve.” Hongjoong smiled, so glad to be done with the nasty part. 

The stencil was used to draw the lines where they needed to cut, and once again, they took turns cutting different sections of the pumpkin to turn it into a Jack O’Lantern. It was also not easy and required a lot of sawing. The serrated knife they had been given was not that sharp, and agitation was on the rise. 

Seonghwa took his turn, seemingly less agitated than Joong, but as he was cutting, the blade got stuck, and his attempts at removing it cut the flimsy piece of pumpkin holding their design together, causing the whole “face” to collapse inside. 

He stood before the pumpkin, one hand on the rim, the other holding the knife up in the air, mouth gaping open in shock and horror. His eyes moved from the pumpkin to Hongjoong.

The brown haired man watched it all happen in slow motion, and he to stared at the pumpkin and their loss before he felt the black haired man’s eyes on him. The second their eyes met, they burst out laughing. All of the hard and nasty work, and it ended just like that. It shouldn’t have been funny, but crying over a ruined Jack O’Lantern was no use. 

“I’m still submitting this to the contest.” Hongjoong laughed as he picked up the pumpkin and returned it to the attendant. 

Sadly, it wasn’t allowed in the contest because it didn’t fit the judging parameters, but the two men didn’t care. After all their work, it was far more fun to destroy the pumpkin’s face. They washed their hands and arms thoroughly and left the tent. 

They once again maneuvered through the festival, taking in all of the sights and sounds. The air was getting colder still, but it wasn’t that bad yet. The sun had started to set, however, so Hongjoong suggested they go into the cornfield. 

“A cornfield? What is special about a cornfield?” Seonghwa was greatly confused. 

“Oh, normally nothing, but they’ve turned it into a maze.” Hongjoong grinned as he led the man to the field. 

Tall stalks of corn stood high and proud, with various paths cut between them. It was free to navigate, so the two walked in, still hand in hand. Hongjoong had never been good with mazes, but he was sure it wouldn’t be that difficult. It was just a corn maze at a town festival, after all. 

Thirty minutes in, he walked the two in various circles and down dead ends so many times that no one could keep count. 

“Hongjoong?” Seonghwa finally spoke up.

“Yes?” He sounded so uncertain. 

“I’m beginning to think that you’re purposefully trying to get us lost.” There was mirth in the idol’s voice. 

“I am not! I just… really have no sense of direction, apparently.”

“Clearly.” 

The two laughed at the teasing and continued their path. 

It took them nearly another hour to finally reach the exit, and there they shared another laugh over how long it had taken. Night had fallen, and the air was far more crisp. Hongjoong noticed Seonghwa shivering and decided to take the opportunity he was presented with. He didn’t understand why the idol hadn’t worn a jacket. Luckily, he was wearing long sleeves under his own jacket, so he didn’t see the fault in shrugging his off and draping it around the man’s shoulders. 

Seonghwa looked momentarily surprised but smiled in thanks as he snuggled into the jacket and then snuggled closer to Hongjoong. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” 

Back at the festival grounds and away from the dreaded corn maze, Hongjoong spotted the apple bobbing tent. “Oh! We should bob for apples!”

“Bob for apples?” Hwa was clearly confused. “Who is Bob?

The brown haired man explained the game to the idol, but it was obvious that the singer had found the concept foul. “You stick your head in a bucket full of water that other people’s heads have been in? I’ll stand this one out but cheer you on.”

It was good enough for Hongjoong. He bought one ticket and was given one minute to grab as many apples as possible. He didn’t think about how his hair would be in his eyes or how cold the water would be, considering how much later it was in the night. In the end, he managed to grab only five apples, not enough to get a prize. 

The attendant offered him a towel, which Seonghwa took, and the idol gently and carefully attempted to dry his date’s hair. It was an adorable, tender moment that made Hongjoong’s heart skip too many beats, especially when the black haired man stared at him with such fondness in his eyes. It made the whole apple bobbing fiasco worth it. 

The pair were heading for the haunted house when Joong found the game booths instead. The thought of winning a giant teddy bear for Seonghwa was too much to pass up. “Ooo, come on. We should play some carnival games.”

“I’d love to!” It seemed the singer was more than ready. 

The first game they found was to see how many balloons one could pop with their darts before they ran out. Hongjoong played first. He failed. He played again. He failed. Hwa watched him, cheering him on and trying to comfort him when he continually failed. Hongjoong really wanted to win the giant bunny plush for his date, so he tried again and again and again. 

“Maybe you should play a different game,” Seonghwa suggested in his tender and sweet voice. 

“This one has the giant bunny.” Hongjoong pointed it out, knowing he didn’t have to because the musician’s eyes had lit up like a Jack O’Lantern’s when he saw it. 

“Could I try?” Seonghwa tried instead. 

“Yeah, I need a break.” Hongjoong sighed and stepped away. How would he win the damnable bunny if he couldn’t pop enough balloons? He was pretty sure the whole thing was rigged—they always were. He almost wanted to stare down the man working the booth, but that wouldn’t get him anywhere, and he didn’t want to act foolish in front of his bias. 

Seonghwa was apparently a natural, though, as he managed to pop a balloon on every throw of the dart. The lights overhead the booth lit up, announcing that he was the grand prize winner. Hongjoong stared with his mouth hanging open as his date secured the giant bunny all by himself. 

He turned to Joong and offered the bunny out. “Here you go.”

The brown haired man shook his head. “I only wanted to win it so I could give it to you.” He chuckled. “Can we pretend that I won that for you?”

“Absolutely!” The idol hugged the bunny close. “Thank you so much, Hongjoong, for winning me this overly massive bunny.”

The two decided to walk back to Joong’s jeep to deposit it before they finally reached the haunted house. 

 “Okay, time to make your decision. Haunted house, or no?” Hongjoong wouldn’t force the man to go through the haunted house if he didn’t really want to. 

The idol stared at the entrance and the short line outside of it, chewing on his bottom lip. “Yeah, I’ll try it out.”

The brown haired man broke into a giant smile. “Great! If you get too scared, you can squeeze my hand as hard as you need.”

Seonghwa took the chance to give the wannabe producer’s hand a test squeeze, and they shared a smile as they got in line. 

The line moved relatively slowly, and despite there only being a handful of people in front of them, they stood in the line for thirty minutes before they were finally permitted entrance with a few other people who had come up behind them. 

The haunted house, just as Hongjoong had promised, was pretty tame—dark corridors, creepy sounds, and music, and lights that flickered on and off. The first jump scare came as he and Seonghwa were passing through a narrow hallway, and a sudden hand shot out of the wall, grasping at the black haired man. Hwa jumped right into Joong and wrapped his arms around the salesman's left arm, clinging to it tightly. The more jumpscares they had, the more he clung to the shorter of the two, making it one of Hongjoong’s favorite events of the night. He was happy to be the one to help the poor, scared idol through the haunted house. 

All in all, there were only about five jump scares, but each one was a blessing for the brown haired man. Once they exited, Seonghwa remained close, one hand wrapped up in Joong’s and the other clinging to his arm. He breathed out a deep sigh as the chill air greeted them. 

“Are you good?” Hongjoong asked with a cocky smile on his face. 

The man took a moment to answer but finally nodded and chuckled. “Yes, that was a lot of fun. God, I can’t believe how many times they got me. Jump scares always get me if I’m being honest.”

“Oh, that’s good to know.” 

“Hongjoong, don’t you dare.” The musician glowered.

The salesman laughed. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” It was spoken like someone who was lying through their teeth. 

Checking his watch and seeing how much later it was getting, he suggested they grab something to eat. Festival food might not be the most nutritious, but it filled them up: more smoked turkey legs, pumpkin pie, and roasted corn on the cob. They remained sitting at the little table for ten minutes or so, letting their food settle, before Hongjoong ordered them both a cup of hot cocoa. 

“Alright, time for the final event of the night.”

“Oh? The final one, hmm?” Seonghwa’s eyes seemed to sparkle under the starlight. 

“Yeah, it’s getting pretty late, and they’ll be closing the festival down in the next hour and a half. I want us to take a hay ride.”

“Hay ride?” The idol looked confused again. 

“Yeah, it’s pretty traditional around here. You sit in the back of a truck filled with hay bales, and they drive you around nice and slow. When I was a kid, they had haunted hay rides, and some people would come out of the darkness and grab the kids off the ride. Scared the hell out of me.” Hongjoong laughed at the way that Hwa’s eyes grew larger. “It’s not like that here. It’s just a hayride. They’ll make a trip around the festival grounds, further out where the darkness is more likely to show the night sky, and then we’ll come back. Sound good?”

The black haired man nodded his head eagerly. “That sounds lovely. “

Luck was on their side, too, as they just managed to get a truck that was doing its last call. Only one other couple had climbed into the back, leaving the two men plenty of space. Hongjoong took the blanket the driver handed him and patted the spot next to him so that Seonghwa could join him before the bed of the truck was put up. Once the singer was settled, Hongjoong spread the blanket out over them. 

The truck started off, keeping its pace slow, albeit a bit bumpy, but nothing too crazy. As they moved away from the lights of the festival, the nightsky shined above them. The brown haired man watched Seonghwa’s mouth drop in wonder and awe as he looked skyward before he smiled at the sight of so many stars. “This is beautiful.” He whispered. 

“Nothing compares to you, though,” Hongjoong spoke without thinking, and when he realized what he had said, he blushed as profoundly as the falling leaves. Thank goodness it was dark. 

Seonghwa turned to look at the other man, his smile brightening. “You’re so sweet, Joong.” He sipped his cocoa before moving closer, lifting up the man’s arm so he could snuggle himself against Hongjoong’s chest. The poor Halo’s heart nearly combusted, but he kept himself together, letting his arm relax around his bias. He busied himself by drinking some of his hot cocoa to try to keep his head from spinning. 

The truck continued on its path, slowing occasionally to allow the passengers to take in the sights. Words were not really spoken, but who needed to talk when Park Fucking Seonghwa was cuddled up so closely to Hongjoong? He didn’t think he could speak even if he wanted to, so he was thankful for the silence. The only sounds around them were the crunching of gravel under the tires, an owl hooting somewhere in the distance, and the sound of liquid sloshing in their cups. The silence was a beautiful blessing. 

The ride lasted around thirty minutes in total, and then they were back at the festival, walking hand in hand back to the parking lot. They had finished off their hot coco and threw away their cups. Seonghwa appeared to be walking closer than when the night had started, but the wannabe producer didn’t complain. He was happy for the man’s presence. The constant holding of hands had left him feeling warm and content all night. It made him think that he was doing everything right. Both parties had already agreed upon a second date, just no concrete date or ideas yet. Hongjoong was happy to keep up with the theme of slowness. His brain had nearly fizzled out on him when the idol had snuggled against him. 

The drive back to Seonghwa’s home was comfortable, and both appreciated the warmth of Joong’s jeep once the heater had turned the inside of his vehicle into a toaster. They were both reluctant to leave it after the wannabe producer pulled his jeep into the idol’s driveway. 

Seonghwa looked behind him at all of the bags and the giant bunny. “Okay, do you mind giving me a second to get all of this inside?”

“I’ll help you.” 

The two left the jeep, opening the back to grab the various items. Hongjoong carried the giant bunny and a bag of goodies, while Seonghwa carried two other bags of merchandise, art, and wooden statues. The brown haired man kept his jeep running, not wanting to get back into a cold vehicle.

Seonghwa dropped his keys twice before he finally managed to get the front door open. “You can just put everything down on the couch. I’ll sort through it.”

The wannabe producer did as he was told, but only after he slipped his shoes off. He was used to such an action, but also not. He only ever took his shoes off when visiting his parents or brother. Not wanting to disrespect his idol, though, he took them off before he crossed the room. Seonghwa placed his bags on the couch next to everything else. He stepped back and smiled. “A great haul!” He laughed. 

Hongjoong smiled fondly at him before he returned to the front door and put his shoes back on. “A very great haul. The best!” He joked. 

Hwa noticed his movements and walked over to him with a shy expression on his face. “Thank you for all of this, Joong. I had a really amazing time today. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a great date in my whole life.”

Such praise from his bias nearly made Hongjoong sink through the floor. Luckily, he kept his composure, even as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away with flushed cheeks. “I’m glad, that-that means a lot. I had a great time, too.”

“I’m looking forward to our next date.” Seonghwa took both of his hands in his own, trying to catch the man’s gaze. “Was it too much?”

Hongjoong finally looked at him, lips twitching upwards as he shook his head. “No, it was wonderful.”

“Good.” Seonghwa paused but then leaned forward, paused again, and added, “If this is too much, tell me.” Then his soft lips pressed against Hongjoong’s cheek for one heartbeat, two heartbeats, three… four… the idol pulled away, pink on his own cheeks. 

The salesman didn’t have words; he just stood there in shock for several seconds before shaking his head. “No, no, no-not too much.” Maybe it was because his command center had certainly melted for a little bit. 

“Goodnight, Hongjoong.” Seonghwa smiled and let the man’s hands go. 

Hongjoong wasn’t sure how he got back in his jeep or how he got home. He slid down the front door once he was inside, acting too much like a teenage girl with a crush, but he needed a second to let everything reboot.

It wasn’t until the following day that he realized his jacket had still been around his idol when he left. 

Chapter Text

Seonghwa stared down at his phone with a frown on his face. It was Halloween, and Hongjoong’s five day mini vacation had just started. They were supposed to meet for a stay at home date at six, but the brown haired man had just called to inform the idol that they had to cancel due to him being sick. It was two o’clock, and the singer's plans were replaced with an overwhelming need to go and take care of the poor sick man he had now had three successful dates with. This was supposed to be date number four, and while it saddened him that they had to reschedule, he understood the reason entirely. Hongjoong needed to be well. What a horrible thing to befall the poor salesman when he had just started vacation. Hwa knew Joong had plans to go up in the mountains to his family’s cabin, but that was also clearly out. The black haired man knew he needed to do something to help. He couldn’t just let his date suffer alone. 

With his decision made for him, he went to the store to gather a few key ingredients and then headed over to Joong’s home. Their last two dates since the first had been perfect. Hongjoong was so sweet and respectful. Every date appeared to bring the man further out of his shell, making him less anxious and nervous, which was a good thing for Hwa, as he wanted Joong to be comfortable with him. To be honest, he really wanted more physical contact with the other. Seonghwa couldn’t tell if the shorter man was just being polite and respectful by only holding his hand or if he was too nervous to make the first move. Whatever it was, it had been on the idol’s mind a lot. Every time that a date ended without a kiss, the singer thought about it. If how Hongjoong felt about Seonghwa wasn’t obvious, he might have thought that Joong wasn’t interested and was simply placating him with their dates. However, he knew very well just how highly the brown haired man thought of him and of his physical attraction to Hwa. 

So why wasn’t he doing more?

Seonghwa sighed and shoved his complicated thoughts away as he arrived at Joong’s home, exiting his car and heading to the door. He knocked a couple of times before he tried the bell, but there was still no answer. He looked around, frowning, trying to think of how to get his phone out of his pocket without putting down the large brown grocery bags he carried. But then the door opened, and a very sleepy and exhausted Hongjoong stood at the door, blinking and clearly not in the right state of mind. 

“Huh? Seonghwa?” He blinked again and rubbed his eyes. 

“No, no, shoo, go lay down.” The singer moved inside, shutting the door with his foot. 

Hongjoong didn’t argue and meandered away to an open door on the other side of the living room. He didn’t close it as he disappeared, and Hwa assumed it was the man’s bedroom. 

Seonghwa disappeared into the kitchen and pulled everything out of the bags before he searched through the kitchen cabinets to find the needed pots and pans to cook with. Unsurprisingly, there wasn’t much in the way of pots and pans, but the essentials existed. The idol got a large pot of water onto the stove and placed the dangmyeon noodles in a bowl of water, walking away to go and check on the man he was there to take care of in the first place. 

He peeked into Hongjoong’s room, finding him snuggled up in blankets on his bed, lying on his back, and with a pained expression on his face. Seonghwa crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching a hand out to check the man’s temperature. He was burning up. “Oh, Joong, we’ve got to get this fever down.” The singer looked over to the bedside table, noting two prescription medications. He frowned. “Did you take these already?” There was no answer, of course. Hwa’s hand went back to the brown haired man’s forehead. He was so lost on what to do.

Almost as lost as he was when he decided to announce his desire to come out…

The mirror in the restroom reflected a version of Seonghwa that felt foreign to him. Perfectly styled hair, immaculate makeup, and the confident persona of AURAGE’s Radiant: all of it just a mask that had become heavier with each passing day. He stared at his own eyes, searching for the courage he knew was buried somewhere deep inside.

He took a deep breath and smoothed down the front of his shirt, his heart beating faster with each inhale. It had taken months of inner reflection, countless sleepless nights, and more phone calls with his bandmates than he could count to finally get to this moment. “I can’t keep lying,” he whispered to his reflection as if confessing for the first time. His voice trembled with the weight of those words, like releasing a secret he'd held onto for too long.

Turning away from the mirror, the idol picked up the crumpled piece of paper on the counter. It was a draft of what he’d planned to say to Prism’s management, though he already knew he’d abandon the script. Words spilled from his heart far better than any carefully rehearsed speech ever could. He folded the paper again and slipped it into his pocket, more for comfort than necessity.

He stood in the boardroom doorway, hesitating momentarily as he listened to the buzz of conversation inside. Through the narrow crack of the door, he could see the familiar faces of his management team, their expressions already set in stone, unaware of the earthquake that was about to shake their world.

When he stepped inside, the room fell silent, and a dozen pairs of eyes turned to him. It felt like being on stage, only this time, there was no applause, no cheering crowd to bolster his confidence. The silence was cold, unyielding.

“I... I have something I need to say,” The singer began, his voice cracking slightly as the nerves clawed their way up his throat. He drew another breath and continued. “I want to live authentically. We always tell our Halos to live authentically and be who they truly are, yet I’ve spent the last six years denying who I am.”

His hands shook, so he clenched them at his sides to still the tremors. “I’m gay,” he said, the words coming out stronger than he expected. “And I want to come out to my fans.”

There was a pause—so brief that it was almost imperceptible—before the room erupted in a flurry of reactions.

“Absolutely not,” one manager snapped, their face twisting in disbelief.
“Are you out of your mind?” another echoed.
“Do you want to ruin your entire career based on your sexuality?”

The voices piled on top of each other, a suffocating wall of rejection. It was as though each word sliced through the air and landed like a weight on Seonghwa’s chest. The world seemed to tilt, and for a second, he thought he might fall.

“We’ve tolerated this while it’s remained behind closed doors,” a senior executive said, voice low and threatening. “But you’re not doing this, Seonghwa. If you come out, then you’re done with AURAGE. You’re done with Prism Entertainment.”

The black haired man’s pulse thrummed in his ears, loud and unyielding. He could feel the sting of tears beginning to form but swallowed them back, his jaw tightening. “Then I’m done,” he said softly, his voice steady despite the turmoil. “I’m done with hiding who I am.”

As he turned and walked out, every step carried a mix of fear and freedom. It felt like stepping off a cliff's edge, uncertain whether he’d fall or fly.

Back to reality, Hwa fussed over the fever, but there wasn’t much he could do with an unconscious Hongjoong. He couldn’t give the man medicine without knowing what he had already taken or not taken. “You just sleep, and I’m going to make you some Dak Gomtang, and you’re going to feel so much better.” He leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to the man’s forehead before standing up and returning to the kitchen. 

Cooking and preparing the Dak Gomtang took about an hour, and Seonghwa continually checked in on Hongjoong during that time. The salesman was in and out of consciousness and not sleeping very soundly, but his fever had finally broken. Once the soup was ready, Hwa made up a small serving for Joong before returning to the man’s bedroom. 

“Hongjoongie, let’s sit up and eat, yeah?” He placed the soup down on the side table before he helped the man move into a seated position. “Do you think you could eat some? Just a few bites?”

The brown haired man’s eyes remained closed, but he nodded his head. 

Seonghwa took that as a win, dipping the spoon into the soup before he brought it to Hongjoong’s lips, a hand under the spoon to control any dripping. “Open your mouth, jagi.” Thankfully, the mostly asleep Joong did as he was told without much arguing, probably because he was too out of it to argue. 

Only a few spoonfuls were fed to the sick man before he fell asleep, but it was better than nothing. Hwa helped him lay back down and went to put the rest of the soup away. 

Over the next two hours, Seonghwa continued checking in on Hongjoong but mostly stayed in his living room to avoid bothering him while he slept. A sudden idea for tea sparked into existence, and the idol was back in the kitchen. He had brought some peppermint tea with him just to help Hongjoong feel better. 

Getting the kettle onto the stove, he was once again struck by a memory from the past. 

Seonghwa barely made it through the front door of the dorm before he broke down. His back pressed against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor, knees pulled to his chest. The weight of the boardroom meeting still hung on him like a heavy fog, suffocating and cold. The words of his management team echoed in his mind: “You’re done with AURAGE.” It was as though the last six years of his life had just... evaporated.

He hadn’t known what to expect when he walked out of that room, but the emptiness left in the aftermath was more suffocating than any rejection he could have prepared for. Everything felt out of focus, as though the world had tilted on its axis, leaving him clinging to the familiar just to keep from falling. He had texted the group chat just two words: I’m sorry. And then he had come here, to the dorm, seeking the only comfort he had left.

The front door swung open, startling him as the youngest, ever bright Wooyoung burst in, out of breath and still wearing the same clothes from the dance studio. His eyes landed on the man sitting there on the floor, and he immediately dropped his bag and knelt beside the eldest.

“Hwa hyung… What happened?” Wooyoung asked, his voice soft, as though afraid that speaking too loudly might shatter what was left of the leader's composure.

The singer’s breath hitched as he struggled to find the words. “They-They said I was done. They don’t want me to come out.” His voice cracked on the last word, and he buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think… I didn’t think it would end like this.”

“Stop it. You don’t need to be sorry,” Wooyoung said firmly, wrapping his arms around the Radiant and pulling him into a tight embrace. “You’re the strongest one among us, and I admire the hell out of you for making this decision.” He hugged him tighter as though willing his own strength into the trembling man in his arms.

The floodgates opened, and the leader sobbed, his whole body trembling as he leaned into Wooyoung’s embrace. The tears came hard and fast, years of pain and fear finally breaking free. It wasn’t just the loss of his career; it was the constant hiding, the quiet shame that had taken up residence in his heart.

“Hwa, look at me.” Wooyoung pulled back, cupping his leader’s face in his hands, forcing him to meet his eyes. There was a fierce determination there, a spark of defiance that Seonghwa had always admired in the younger man. “No regrets. Remember?”

The eldest managed a small nod, but the tears still fell. “Yeah… No regrets.”

At that moment, the dorm door opened again, and Yunho rushed in, followed closely by Mingi and San. They had dropped everything when they saw Seonghwa’s message. One look at the tear streaked face of their hyung and Wooyoung’s protective hold was all they needed to understand. They didn’t ask for details, simply dropped to the floor around their leader, encircling him with a warm, unyielding embrace.

“We’re here, hyung,” Yunho murmured, his tall frame wrapping around Seonghwa’s side, steady and reassuring. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Mingi settled beside them, his arms closing around the group with a gentle strength. “We’ve got you, hyung. Always.”

San, the last to join, slipped behind Seonghwa, resting his chin on the elder’s shoulder as he rubbed gentle circles on his back. “You’ll always be our Radiant, no matter what anyone else says,” he whispered. “We’re in this together.”

Surrounded by his brothers' warmth and love, the weight on Seonghwa’s chest began to ease. He let out a shuddering breath, his sobs gradually subsiding as their unwavering support steadied him. The tears finally ceased, though his eyes remained glassy with emotion. He could feel their hands—firm, gentle, and reassuring—anchoring him as they held on.

The group stayed like that for a long while, letting their leader soak in the comfort and quiet assurances of their bond.

As the silence settled, Yunho pulled back slightly, his hand lingering on Seonghwa’s shoulder. “Let’s get you some tea, hyung,” he suggested, his voice soft and encouraging. “It’ll help soothe your throat.”

Seonghwa nodded, a small, grateful smile breaking through the heaviness in his chest. “Thank you, all of you,” he whispered.

With that, the group slowly released their hold and guided their hyung toward the kitchenette. Mingi was the first to fill the kettle with water, while Wooyoung rummaged through the cupboard for cups, and San searched for Seonghwa’s favorite blend of tea.

“Chamomile, right?” San asked as he held up the box.

The singer managed a real smile this time, the warmth in his eyes returning. “Yeah,” he breathed, his voice still shaky but filled with appreciation. “That’d be perfect.”

Yunho set a gentle hand on his shoulder as the kettle began to whistle. “We’re here for you, hyung. We always will be.”

As the others prepared the tea, Seonghwa watched them move around the small space, his heart full of gratitude for their unconditional support. Once more, he was reminded that no matter what lay ahead, he wouldn’t face it alone.

San returned with a steaming mug, placing it carefully in his leader’s hands. “Drink up,” he said, his voice a steady reassurance. “It’s going to be alright.”

Seonghwa wrapped his fingers around the warm ceramic, feeling the heat seep into his chilled skin. As he took a sip, the delicate floral taste of chamomile bloomed on his tongue, grounding him in the present. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the warmth spread through him, a reminder that there was still peace to be found, even in the midst of chaos.

The five of them sat together, quiet and close, as Seonghwa drank his tea. The world outside still spun, uncertain and unkind, but he felt the first flicker of hope there, in his small dorm with his friends by his side.

No matter what came next, they would face it together.

With the tea finished steeping, Seonghwa brought the warm cup to Hongjoong, and the memory of his bandmate's support carried him every step of the way. Their support had ultimately led him to where he was now, and he smiled gently down at Hongjoong as the man blinked a few times. “Hwa?” He appeared so confused. 

“Hi, I have some tea for you. It’s very hot, but it will help you. I can hear the congestion in your chest.” As if on cue, Hongjoong took a rattling breath in, making the idol grimace. “I wanted to make you a cup of baesuk, but there is a disturbing lack of proper pears in Montrose. Asian pears, as they are apparently called here.” He clicked his tongue. “Though if this doesn’t help, I might have to go and get an… American pear?” He wasn’t sure if that was the right terminology or not. “They look very different from what I’m used to, so I wasn’t sure about them.” 

Hongjoong stared at him in a very much half awake state, and the confusion remained. 

“Here, let’s try some tea. I’ll cool it off for you.” He sat next to the sick man, cooling it with his own breath before bringing it to Joong’s lips. The man was a good patient and took a few warm sips before he refused any more, grimacing and laying back down. 

“Good, get more sleep, Hongjoongie. Sleep is the best remedy. I’ll be in the living room if you need me, okay?” He went to move, but the shorter male’s hand moved to his arm and stopped him. Hwa looked down at the hand on his arm with a raised brow. 

“Stay?” Hongjoong pleaded with a frown, eyes opening just enough to look at Seonghwa again. 

The singer nodded. “Okay, I’ll stay. Let me just move around to the other side, okay?”

The brown haired man nodded and released his hold. Seonghwa moved to climb onto the other side of the bed, getting himself comfortable next to Hongjoong. Once Seonghwa got comfortable, the salesman was already fast asleep. He pulled his phone out to check the time in Korea, smiling when he realized that Wooyoung was probably awake on the other side of the world.

Seonghwa:
Wooyoungie, I’m going to need you to figure out how to send me pears

Wooyoungie:
send you pears? what?

Seonghwa:
The pears here are weirdly shaped and not right

Wooyoungie:
HAHAHA what how are they shaped then?

Seonghwa:
I’ll send you a picture the next time I’m at the store

Wooyoungie:
why do you need pears?

Seonghwa:
Hongjoongie is sick and I wanted to make him baesuk

Wooyoungie:
Sick?! I thought you two had a date today? yesterday? timezones man

Seonghwa:
We did until this happened, now I’m here taking care of him instead. It’s a good date 🙂

Wooyoungie:
you have a weird idea of what a good date is, but okay
hope he feels better soon
which i’m sure he will if you’re his doctor

Seonghwa:
❤️He will be back to normal soon enough!

The two chatted a bit more before migrating to the group chat where they all laughed and joked. Seonghwa missed them so much, but plans had already been made for them to come and visit him in mid December when they got a couple of weeks off to themselves. He was so excited to see his best friends, his brothers, again. Moving to America had been a hard and big decision for him, and it was one he felt was right, but it didn’t stop the homesickness or how much he missed the members. 

Another rattling cough sounded from Hongjoong, who had turned onto his side, back facing the idol. It sounded terrible and painful. Two things that the singer was familiar with. 

Seonghwa sat on the edge of his bed, the flickering light of his phone illuminating the shadows that clung to the walls like his suffocating thoughts. He scrolled through social media, each post a dagger piercing deeper into his already fragile heart. Words like "disgrace" and "fake" filled his feed, coming from faces he had once seen as friends, fans, and supporters.

The pain of losing the love he thought he had cultivated over the years hung heavy in the air, a suffocating weight that made it hard to breathe. It felt as if the very essence of who he was had been ripped from him, leaving behind only a hollow shell. The screams of hatred echoed in his mind, drowning out the sweet melody of the songs he used to love singing. AURAGE was more than a group to him; it had been his family, and now that family seemed to be unraveling before his very eyes.

In the midst of this turmoil, one face kept breaking through the darkness: The man he had first met during the Radiance Tour, who had been nothing but genuine in their brief interaction. Hongjoong’s vibrant spirit had sparked something within him, a glimmer of hope that illuminated the despair surrounding him. The way Hongjoong had stood out in the crowd, his eyes shining with admiration and authenticity, reminded Seonghwa that it was possible to be true to oneself, no matter the cost.

He recalled the feeling of the plushie he had handed back to the Halo during the meet and greet, the way the idol had had to grasp the man's hand, grounding him in that fleeting moment. “Just breathe, Hongjoong,” he had whispered, sensing the overwhelmed energy radiating from the brown haired man. The sincerity in that moment was enough to carve a space in Seonghwa's heart for the genuine connection they shared.

Even as the world around him felt like it was crumbling, Hongjoong’s unwavering spirit had been a beacon of light. Through all the darkness and isolation that came with his decision to come out, he could still see the glow of the man who had inspired him to embrace his truth.

The singer let out a shaky breath, allowing himself to remember the vibrant energy of that concert, the thrill of being alive among people who loved him for who he was. It was this memory that fueled him to rise above the noise of backlash, reminding him that his identity was not a disgrace but a testament to his strength.

With each recollection, he felt the resolve in him start to strengthen. He wasn’t just Seonghwa of AURAGE; he was more than the band, more than the fame. He was a man who had fought hard for his place in the world, and if he could just hold onto the light that Hongjoong represented, he might just find his way back to himself amidst the shadows.

Another rough cough pulled Hwa from the memory, and despite the apparent discomfort Hongjoong was feeling, he couldn’t help but smile, knowing how far they had come. His hand reached out as he turned on his side and scooted closer, rubbing the man’s back. “You need more tea and soup.” He whispered. Yet Hongjoong’s back felt incredibly hot, too. The idol touched the salesman’s forehead again, frowning when he realized the fever was back. “Jagi, I think you need to take more medicine.”

Seonghwa climbed out of the bed and grabbed the bottles, checking to see when the next doses were due. One was supposed to be given twelve hours after the first, but the other was every four hours as needed for pain and fever. Popping open the bottle, he took one of the pills out. “Hongjoongie, I need you to take your medicine. Can you do that?” He got no response. Hwa frowned and tried again. 

After several minutes of trying, though, and not being able to wake up Sleeping Beauty, he decided on a different tactic. The poor man was burning up, and his fever needed to be brought down. Seonghwa left to find the bathroom, where he ran a washcloth under cold water and wrung it out. He returned to the man’s side, the previous memories resurfacing but blending into his big decision. The one that finalized everything and officially brought him to where he was. Standing inside of Hongjoong’s bedroom, wiping his forehead with a damp cloth. 

Seonghwa sat by the window, his black hair slightly disheveled, silhouetted against the faint glow of the city lights outside. The room was quiet, too quiet. The walls, once adorned with memories of AURAGE’s success, felt like a museum to a past that no longer felt like his. Every poster, every framed award seemed to mock him now, reminders of a world that had turned its back on him the moment he decided to live openly, truthfully.

The backlash had been relentless, harsher than he’d anticipated. He had prepared himself for some criticism, but nothing could have braced him for the flood of hatred that followed his announcement. Comments from fans, people who once claimed to love him, filled his social media feeds: "A disgrace." "How could he betray us?" "I can’t support him anymore." “He sickens me.” “Glad he left before he ruined the rest of the group.” Each word chipped away at his already fragile sense of self worth, leaving behind a hollow ache in its wake.

He rubbed his tired eyes, trying to push away the sting of those words. But no matter how hard he tried, they lingered like ghosts, haunting him in the silence of his apartment. South Korea had become suffocating. Its streets, once vibrant with opportunity, now felt like a cage. Every glance from strangers, every whispered conversation in passing reminded him of how quickly public opinion had turned.

And yet, in the midst of the noise, one memory kept resurfacing as if guiding him through the storm: Hongjoong.

The brown haired fan had stood out in the sea of faces at the Radiance Tour; his enthusiasm was undeniable, and his presence was unforgettable. Seonghwa could still see the awe in Hongjoong’s eyes when their gazes met across the stage, how the fan had frozen when Seonghwa knelt to sing into his phone. It was more than just admiration, there was a warmth in Hongjoong, an authenticity that had struck Seonghwa deeply.

He thought back to the meet and greet after the concert, how the Halo’s hands had trembled slightly as he handed him a plushie, his voice stammering nervously as he introduced himself. Seonghwa had been struck not only by the man’s beauty but by his openness, the way Hongjoong hadn’t shied away from being himself, even in front of the idol he so clearly admired.

Joong was different. He was confident in his identity, proudly gay, unafraid to show the world who he truly was. That courage—Hongjoong’s unapologetic authenticity—had planted a seed in the idol, a seed that eventually grew into a fully grown tree, blossoming the fruit of the decision to come out publicly. The brown haired man had been the first person who made him feel that being true to himself wasn’t just possible, it was necessary.

Now, in the stillness of his apartment, with the weight of the world pressing down on him, Hwa knew what he needed to do. South Korea had become too hostile, too unwelcoming for him to heal. But there was a place—a person—who had inspired him to make this leap in the first place.

Montrose, Colorado.

He didn’t know much about the small town, but he remembered the conversation between Hongjoong and his friends as they left the send off event. “Let’s get back to Montrose,” one of the friends had said, and that single phrase had echoed in Seonghwa’s mind ever since. It had taken some research, but he had found it: A small town nestled in the mountains, thousands of miles away from the chaos of Seoul.

A part of him knew it was a long shot, going there with nothing more than a name and a memory. But Hongjoong had left an indelible mark on his heart, and Seonghwa couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed to find him.

“I’ll give it a year,” he whispered to himself, the decision solidifying in his mind. One year to find Hongjoong. One year to see if the connection he felt was real, if the man who had inspired him to be himself could help him heal. And if he didn’t find him? Then Seonghwa would return home, but at least he would know he had tried.

With newfound determination, Seonghwa rose from his seat and walked to his dresser, his fingers brushing over the tickets and keepsakes from years of performing. His career and life in South Korea would all still be there. But what he needed now was something real. Something honest.

Montrose was waiting. And so was Hongjoong.

No regrets. That had always been Hwa and Wooyoung’s motto, and while it was difficult to live by such a mantra at times, Seonghwa was doing his best. He couldn’t say that he regretted anything, not even with the way his life had tumbled out of control and taken him to the deepest and darkest places in his mind. The hatred he received had led him down some very rocky and scary points, but it was the spirit of Hongjoong that always pulled him back to the light. At times, Hwa thought he was crazy for depending so heavily on a relatively short interaction with a Halo, but he felt there was no harm in it. The man had no idea just how much he had helped his idol, how much he had helped without actually being there, without saying anything. Just the memory alone was enough to keep Seonghwa going. To know that he, too, could live the way Hongjoong from Montrose did. 

He sat on the edge of the bed and pressed the cloth to the man’s forehead for another few swipes before he pulled it away. A fond smile on his lips that he knew would never disappear. The past few months had been some of the most amazing months of his life, and that said a lot for Seonghwa, who had performed in stadiums in front of thousands upon thousands of screaming fans, who had traveled the world and seen the sights and beauty that it offered. But he had found a home with Hongjoong. Something he had feared would never happen. 

As it was a day filled with introspection, Hwa’s thoughts shifted off to when he left Korea. 

Seonghwa stood at the airport gate, his carry on slung over his shoulder and his heart heavy with a mix of emotions. It was surreal, leaving everything he knew behind. The house he’d purchased in Montrose was waiting for him, already furnished and ready to be called home. Most of his belongings were en route, being shipped halfway across the world. All that was left was for him to board the plane.

He glanced around at the bustling terminal, the chatter of travelers blending into a dull hum. But none of it registered. His mind was back at the dorm, where just hours before, he had said goodbye to his brothers.

The image of Yunho’s firm grip on his shoulder flashed through his mind. “This isn’t goodbye,” The tall man had said, his voice steady but filled with the weight of their shared history. “We’ll come visit. You’ll see us sooner than you think.”

San had been his usual self, trying to lighten the mood despite the tension. “We better find you in some fancy American cafe, sipping lattes like a local,” he had joked, though his red rimmed eyes betrayed the emotion he was holding back.

Mingi and Wooyoung had been quieter but no less supportive. They had hugged him fiercely, the kind of embrace that said all the words they didn’t have to speak aloud: We’ll always be your family.

Seonghwa could still feel their warmth as he stood alone at the gate, the echo of their love lingering in his chest. It wasn’t just the physical distance that weighed on him. It was the uncertainty. He was leaving behind a life he had built, a career that had defined him. AURAGE was his family, but it was time for him to find his own path now, one that led away from the lights and noise of Seoul.

His thoughts drifted, as they so often did, to the brown haired fan who had changed everything. Hongjoong.

Seonghwa hadn’t been able to get him out of his mind since that fateful night at the Radiance Tour. The connection they’d shared had been brief but electric, and it was that moment, Hongjoong’s unapologetic self, that had ignited the courage in Seonghwa to come out. The months and months that followed had been hard, harder than he had expected, but through all the backlash and the heartbreak, it was Hongjoong’s face that kept resurfacing in his mind.

Montrose, Colorado.

The idol smiled to himself at the thought. It seemed almost absurd, heading to a small mountain town in search of someone he barely knew, someone who had no idea what they meant to him. But it felt right. After everything that had happened, after all the chaos and the noise, Seonghwa craved something real, something that went beyond the fame, beyond the expectations.

“I’ll find him,” he whispered to himself, not out of desperation but out of quiet determination. He had bought the house, furnished it, and prepared everything. Montrose was no longer just a dream; it was his new reality. And somewhere in that town, he hoped, was Hongjoong. The man who had inspired him when everything else seemed too heavy to bear.

Hwa glanced at the boarding sign one last time, the final call for passengers echoing through the terminal. With a steadying breath, he picked up his carry on and made his way toward the gate. He had everything he needed: the essentials, and whatever else he required, he’d buy once he got to town. The thought of that new life waiting for him on the other side of the ocean gave him the strength to take the next step.

As he walked through the tunnel toward the plane, he thought about what might happen when he arrived. Would he find Hongjoong? Would that brief spark they shared all that time ago be enough to reconnect them?

The answers were unknown, but he didn’t need to know them yet. All he needed to know was that he was finally doing something for himself. Montrose was waiting. And maybe, just maybe, so was Hongjoong.

In the soft quiet of the room, Seonghwa gently brushed a strand of brown hair from Hongjoong’s forehead. His heart felt lighter than it had in months. “I found you,” he whispered softly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I finally found what I was looking for.” Something he still toyed with telling Hongjoong, but he feared how it would sound to the other man. Maybe he would think that Seonghwa was insane or, worse, a stalker. It could set back everything they had built up, which was not something the singer wanted to see happen. The two had grown so close since Seonghwa entered the cell phone store and found Hongjoong there. The thought of losing what they now had, sent too many chills down the black haired man’s spine. He couldn’t have them regressing. Maybe one day he could tell the other exactly the lengths he had gone to on the whims of a connection, he felt months and months before he began planning his next steps, but he didn’t figure it would be anytime soon. 

Seonghwa sat on the edge of the bed, watching Hongjoong as he stirred, his body shifting slightly beneath the blankets. The room was quiet, save for the faint sound of the brown haired man’s breathing, still labored from the sickness. Hwa’s hand rested gently on the blanket, close enough to offer comfort but not wanting to disturb him.

After a few moments, Hongjoong’s eyes fluttered open, squinting as he tried to focus. His brow furrowed in confusion, his gaze shifting to the idol, who sat calmly beside him.

“Seonghwa?” Joong’s voice was scratchy and weak. He blinked a few times, struggling to sit up, clearly still dazed from his sleep. “What... why are you here?”

The singer couldn’t help but smile, the corners of his mouth lifting as he leaned in slightly, his hand gently pressing Hongjoong’s shoulder to ease him back down. “You canceled our date, remember?” he said softly, his tone warm and teasing. “I wasn’t going to just leave you here to suffer through this alone.”

Hongjoong’s eyes were still clouded with confusion, but Seonghwa could see the moment the younger man realized what was happening. He tried to say something, probably an excuse or an attempt to brush off his condition, but his voice was too weak. Instead, he gave a half hearted mumble and turned his head slightly as if trying to hide his discomfort.

Seonghwa let out a quiet chuckle, his thumb gently brushing over the salesman’s arm. “You don’t need to pretend,” he said softly, his voice full of gentle amusement. “I’m here because I want to be. You don’t have to face this alone.”

He watched as Hongjoong settled back into the pillows, his body relaxing under the weight of his exhaustion. Seonghwa stayed there, sitting on the edge of the bed, watching as his friend—his crush—drifted in and out of sleep, the fever still holding on but weakening with every passing moment.

Seonghwa’s thoughts drifted to the day he had first walked into the cell phone store. He remembered the nerves he had fought to hide, entering the shop with sunglasses on, acting as though it were just another ordinary errand, but knowing that he might find Hongjoong inside. He had found the man’s name on a business card at a locally run deli a block away.

As he stepped inside, he spotted the brown haired man behind a work station, his attention focused on a tablet, completely unaware of the surprise waiting for him. The idol had watched as the younger man lifted his head, and the shock that crossed his face had been priceless. Hongjoong had tried, and failed, to remain professional, stumbling over his words and staring wide eyed at the idol standing before him.

Seonghwa had pretended not to notice the trembling hands or the way Joong stammered through the interaction. But inside, his heart had pounded. This was it. His search had brought him here, to the man who had inspired him in ways Hongjoong couldn’t even imagine.

He remembered how the salesman’s eyes had widened when he saw the name on Seonghwa’s ID, the realization hitting him like a wave. The singer had kept his cool, smiling politely even though he could feel the relief coursing through him. He had found him.

Seonghwa blinked, returning to the present, where Hongjoong lay beside him, now resting more peacefully after taking his medicine. The idol reached out, his hand brushing lightly against Hongjoong’s before clasping it gently. The warmth of the younger man’s hand was reassuring, a quiet reminder of the connection they had shared from that first meeting to this very moment.

“Get some rest,” Seonghwa whispered, his voice barely audible in the quiet room. “I’m not going anywhere.”

As Hongjoong’s breathing evened out, Seonghwa stayed by his side, a sense of calm settling over him. Their journey had only just begun, but for now, this moment was enough.

Chapter Text

Hongjoong blinked a few times, trying to remove the sleep from his eyes. He wasn’t sure what time it was or even what day. His memories were fuzzy and strange, and he was pretty sure he mostly was dreaming. He was sure that only a few hours had passed since he picked up his medication from the pharmacy and went home to have fever dreams. A sudden cough split his head and rattled his lungs as he lurched onto his side, feeling the room spin. Once the room stopped spinning he found that he felt quite a bit better than he had when he fell asleep. Other than that rough cough and the pain it had brought to his head, he no longer felt feverish and like he was on death’s door. He grabbed his phone from the side table, noting that it was on the charger. Strange, he certainly didn’t remember putting it on the charger. He blinked more sleep from his eyes as he stared down at it. The numbers 8:09 AM stared back at him, which caused him to grow more confused. Had he slept all night?

He slowly sat up in bed and pulled his phone from the charger. He had a ton of notifications. Two missed calls, and several messages from Yeosang, and Kiandra, one from Jongho, two from his mother, and a random spam text. He went to open his phone, slinging his legs over the side as he groaned over how heavy his head felt, but movement at his bedroom door caused him to look up in confusion. He lived alone. He shouldn’t see movement. He looked up so quickly and suddenly that the room started spinning again, and his head started to throb. His phone was dropped onto the bed in favor of holding his poor head. 

“Hongjoongie, you’re awake. Don’t sit up, lay back down.”

The man dropped his hands and looked towards the voice. Seonghwa. What the fuck? His fever dreams had included visions of the idol taking care of him. Feeding him soup, giving him tea and water, ensuring he took his meds. But those were just fever dreams… right?

“What?” He questioned, his brain too fogged over to make sense of anything. 

Seonghwa stood in front of him with a disapproving frown on his face. “I’m glad you’re awake, but you shouldn’t be moving around. You’ve still got about twenty minutes until you can take your next antibiotic. Are you in pain? Do you need more pain medicine?”

Hongjoong allowed his bias to push him back onto the bed, but he didn’t lay down, instead sitting up with his back against the wall as he continued to be confused. “Wha-what are you doing here?” Who let him in?! The salesman was so lost. 

The singer chuckled. “I’ve told you this so many times, but you look a little more clear eyed today, so maybe it will stick this time.” He didn’t sound admonishing but instead sounded amused. The black haired man reached his hand out and pressed his palm to Joong’s forehead. “Oh good, no fever. You’re making good progress.”

Joong didn’t receive his answer, so he waited patiently and with an expectant look. 

“Oh, right, sorry.” Seonghwa sat on the edge of the bed next to Joong, taking one of his hands in his own. “You canceled our date because you were sick. Do you remember that?”

Hongjoong took a moment to try to remember, getting small bits and pieces of memories. He nodded slowly. “Yeah, vaguely.” 

“Well, I came to take care of you. Besides, I wasn’t going to let you cancel a date, so I turned taking care of you into our date.” The man beamed, seemingly proud of himself for such an insane date idea. 

“You can’t have a date with an unconscious person,” Hongjoong argued back, feeling very out of his element. How could he salvage such a horrible date when he couldn’t even say what had happened during it?

“You weren’t unconscious the whole time.” Seonghwa chuckled. “I fed you soup, brought your fever down, made you tea, helped you take your medicine, and at one point, you asked me to snuggle you.”

The brown haired man’s eyes grew large. “I did what?!”

Seonghwa giggled. “Okay, you didn’t ask for snuggles, but you asked me to stay with you, and I did.”

It was all insane. Maybe Hongjoong was still having a fever dream. Suddenly he thought of how he must look and grabbed his phone in a hurry, pulling up his camera, flipping it into selfie mode. 

He looked like shit. Hair all over the place, face as pale as a ghost, lips chapped, and eyes looking rather dull and hollow. Seonghwa was not supposed to see him looking so horrible! “Oh my god.” He dropped the phone and ducked under the covers. “Thank you Seonghwa ssi, please go back home now and I’ll take it from here.” All of his chances of being with Seonghwa were clearly null and void now. The man had just seen the salesman at his very worst. There was no fixing this. 

“Why would I go home? You still need to be taken care of. Besides, I must confess, I did leave last night so I could get a change of clothes from my house. I hope you don’t mind, but I did take a shower here.” The man sounded as confused as Hongjoong felt, and it certainly did not help matters. 

“I can take it from here.” Hongjoong repeated. “I appreciate your help, but… what if you get sick?” Yes, that was a good one! It was not at all the reason the brown haired man wanted his idol to leave, but he was happy to use it to his advantage. 

A hand came to rest on his knee, nearly making Hongjoong jump out of his skin. “I take vitamin C everyday, and if I do get sick, then you can just return the favor.” The man chuckled. “Joong?” He pulled the blanket down, leaving Hongjoong feeling vulnerable and unhappy. “Why are you hiding under your blanket?”

“I wasn’t. I was using the blanket as a shield to keep you from getting sick.”

“Mhm.” Seonghwa didn’t sound convinced. “Are you hungry? I can get you some more soup. There isn’t too much left, but it probably has enough to feed you another two to three times.”

“What soup?” Hongjoong felt defeated. Seonghwa was determined to stay. 

“I made you some dak gomtang. I’ve been feeding it to you slowly the last two days.”

“Two days?! What?” How had two days of his vacation already passed? He barely remembered the last two days and that was so unfair. 

Seonghwa smiled gently at him. “Let me get you a serving. You definitely appear to be feeling better since you’re so surprised by this. This is really the most conversation we’ve had in the last two days.” The idol chuckled before he stood up and headed out of the room. 

The brown haired man stood up on weak legs, frowning. He felt like he had been run over by a truck, the throbbing in his head so very intense and added to how weak he felt. It took him a minute to get to his bathroom, but once he was in there, he shut the door and looked at himself in the mirror, frowning again. He grabbed his hairbrush and tried to tame some of his hair. He needed a shower. He needed to brush his teeth. Fuck, how had Seonghwa stayed with him looking the way he looked? Not to mention the lack of proper hygiene. He was miserable. 

With his hair brushed, he moved to brush his teeth next and apply an ample amount of deodorant. A knock on the door sounded as he put the lid back on his deodorant. “Yeah?”

“I’ve got your soup, Hongjoongie.” 

The salesman looked back in the mirror but his mind was fully on Seonghwa and how incredibly sweet it was that he had stuck around to take care of Hongjoong. Maybe the singer really didn’t care that Hongjoong looked horrible. With a heavy sigh and one last look in the mirror he opened the door and gave a weak smile to his bias. “Thank you, Seonghwa. Can I eat at my table? I assume I’ve been in bed the past two days?”

“You have. You’ve barely moved from it. Short trips to the bathroom that left me worried you were going to collapse while the door was closed, but otherwise, this is where you’ve been.”

Thank god he had been granted permission to go to the bathroom on his own. Hongjoong didn’t think he would survive such humiliation if Seonghwa had gone with him. There were certain boundaries that needed to be followed at all times. 

“I’m feeling a lot more like myself right now. I mean, I feel kinda weak and I’ve got a headache, but a lot better than I remember feeling when I have been awake the past couple of days.” Hongjoong stepped out of the bathroom, and Seonghwa offered out his arm for Joong to be guided into the dining room. 

“That’s very good. You must be getting better, but you should still take it easy today. You don’t want to relapse.”

Hongjoong agreed with that. He wanted to get better as quickly as he could so he might salvage some of his vacation. 

“Hey, thank you by the way, for being here and taking care of me.” He took a seat at the table and smiled. 

“Of course. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Seonghwa gripped his arm lightly, returning the smile. 

⧭

The rest of the day was spent with Hongjoong alternating between his bed when he was too tired to stay awake and watching tv in the living room when he was conscious enough to do so. As the day went by, he felt better and better. When he woke on the fourth day of his vacation, his cough was gone entirely, and he felt back to normal past some lingering weakness. Seonghwa remained with him despite Hongjoong telling him he could go back home. The idol disappeared to return to his own house only to change clothes, water his plants, or collect things to help take care of Hongjoong. It was really sweet, but Joong continued to feel highly self-conscious about the man’s presence. Seonghwa never made him feel like he was a burden or that he was in any way less attractive than he had been before. If anything, he made Hongjoong feel like he was the most important person in the world, and it did wonders for his ego and his crush. 

On the very last day of his vacation, feeling 100% back to normal, he told Hwa that he wanted to drive into the mountains and spend the day at the cabin like he had planned before he got sick. He knew he couldn’t spend the night, but it would still be a nice way to end an otherwise ruined vacation. Seonghwa appeared excited for him, even more so when Joong asked if the singer would accompany him. It was a resounding yes from Seonghwa and made Hongjoong’s heart soar. He felt it was an excellent chance to make up for the shitty date the idol had clearly gone through with the down and out salesman being unconscious for most of their fourth “date.” He didn’t want to call it a date, but Seonghwa insisted that it was. 

When the pair arrived at the cabin nestled far in the mountains, they were more than ready to get out and stretch their limbs. It was an hour and a half long drive to the cabin, and at many points Seonghwa asked if he should drive, worried over the brown haired man’s state. Though Hongjoong was feeling much better and told Hwa as much every time that he fussed over the wannabe producer. 

Hongjoong watched as Hwa looked around them with a big smile on his face. The cabin was on a secluded dirt road, the closest neighbors a good three miles away. All around the cabin were spruce and pine trees, a large mountain range dominating the view behind the cabin. The cabin itself was wooden and homey, inviting anyone inside despite its rustic appearance. 

“Wow it's beautiful out here.” Hwa walked around the man's jeep to step up next to him. 

The air was cold, incredibly so, and it nipped at their noses. Despite the chill, both men appeared excited to be at the cabin. 

“Come on, I'll get us a fire going inside.” Joong grabbed Hwa's hand and led him to the front door before he unlocked it, and the two disappeared inside. 

The inside was just as homey as the outside and warm, too! The home had been upgraded with smart lights and a smart thermostat, which allowed Hongjoong to have the house warm up while they made the hour and a half drive to their location. The cabin was two stories, with all modern appliances, a brick fireplace, and large open windows staring out over the valley and mountain range behind the cabin. Hongjoong had driven up to the cabin the day before his vacation and began to stock the fridge and cabinets with food and ensure he had firewood. Now, there was too much food and firewood for how little time he planned to spend in the cabin, but it was okay. He had brought an ice chest with him to transfer food back home. He planned to stay in the cabin for only a few hours with Hwa before returning home. 

“So here is the living room, obviously.” He chuckled as he gestured around them. “The kitchen,” he gestured to the open kitchen next to him, “and through that door is a bathroom. That one leads outside onto the deck…” where a hot tub existed, but he decided to omit that information. “Upstairs is my room, my brother’s room, and a game room, also a balcony with a really amazing view.”

“Did you come here a lot when you were growing up?” Seonghwa walked over to the couch, picking at the flannel blanket draped across the back. 

“I did, yeah. My parents bought this cabin when I was twelve, and we used to come up here twice a year when I was growing up. I guess I was nineteen or so when we stopped coming as much, and now, over the last three years, it is just available to whoever wants to come and spend time here. This was supposed to be my third trip by myself.” Joong frowned, still unhappy about how his vacation had gone. He longed for a job that offered more freedom. Retail was soul sucking. He knew he wouldn’t get another vacation until early next year, and by then, it would be too late to come back to the cabin unless he wanted to deal with driving through multiple feet of snow, in which case he did not. 

“It sounds like you really like it here, and I can see why.” The idol approached Hongjoong and brushed his knuckles against Joong’s hand. 

“Yeah, it’s a pretty special place, and while it sucks I didn’t get to come up here these last few days, I’m glad I’m getting to share it with you right now.” He noted the blush that crept up Hwa’s neck and onto his cheeks, glad that his corny line had been taken the way he wanted it to be. “Let me go and get some firewood, and I’ll get a fire started for us.”

“Of course.” The singer moved to sit down on the couch, taking off his coat and scarf. 

Fifteen minutes later, Hongjoong gathered all the needed firewood and started the fire. It roared to life with ease and gave perfect ambiance to the room. “Okay, let me see what I brought up here to eat. I know I have some… well, some tv dinners and ramen.” Hongjoong chuckled, feeling incredibly inadequate with his choice of food. 

“Hongjoong.” Seonghwa leveled him with a serious expression. “You brought tv dinners and ramen to the cabin?”

“Yes?” The brown haired man looked abashed and spoke in a small tone. 

“You should have told me what you had brought here. I would have insisted we get something together before we drove up here.” The man shook his head but laughed at the same time. “Ramen will be fine. I’m not that hungry. I can make my own.”

“Nonsense. You’ve been taking care of my sick ass for days now, it’s my turn to do something for you. I’m a Grade A Instant Ramen Chef.” The man disappeared into the kitchen as the singer’s laughter followed him. 

The instant ramen was at least supplied with boiled eggs and green onion to spruce things up a little bit. But then the presentation was lost when Hongjoong heated up dino nuggets to pair with them. Something that Seonghwa laughed so hard over he nearly fell out of his seat at the bar when the food was presented to him. 

“You know, it’s actually pretty good.” The idol laughed as he took another few bites. 

“And you thought to tease me.” The salesman chuckled. “It might not be a gourmet meal, but hey, we gotta make do with what we’ve got.” 

⧭

Their meal was shared between laughs and easy conversation. Hongjoong felt much better and found it easier to relax in his date’s presence. He still continued to find it so surreal to have Park Fucking Seonghwa in his space, specifically a space that was so special to him. The man was invading every space of Hongjoong’s life, but it was a more than welcome invasion. The only defenses he had bothered with before his castle was stormed were ones that kept himself in line. His utter fear of being disrespectful or moving too fast kept him back a lot. He had thought plenty of times to ask the idol about being exclusive or asking him to be his boyfriend, but he was too afraid to do so. Were four dates enough to warrant entering into an exclusive relationship? He didn’t have those answers, even though he really wished that he did. Of course, if he would just talk to Seonghwa, he might get the answers he needed. However, he was way too much of a chicken. Hongjoong didn’t know what he would do with himself if he made the black haired man leave or regret ever going on dates with him in the first place. Seonghwa had been such a massive part of his life for so many years he didn’t know how to handle not having him in it anymore. 

After their meal was finished, Seonghwa insisted on cleaning the dishes, so Hongjoong went and stoked the fire back to life. The sun had set and darkness had turned the trees outside into menacing statues of clawed terror. He turned the lights down in the cabin to give better ambiance, allowing the firelight to take front and center. He knew they’d have to return home before much longer, especially since he had to work the next day, but he assumed they still had an hour or two before they needed to leave. Feeling emboldened by his surroundings, Hongjoong set off upstairs and grabbed a few pillows, cushions and blankets before returning. 

Glancing toward the kitchen he noted Seonghwa was almost done with the dishes. He moved the large cushions onto the floor, and placed a pillow in front of each for added comfort. Two blankets were placed on the floor for comfort, and the final was left folded up at the end, in case they got cold. Which yeah right, the fire was keeping everything extremely warm. Finished with his work, Hongjoong sat up with the cushion and pillow behind his back, and let his mind drift as he watched the flames. The only sound was that of the crackling fire, and it allowed Hongjoong to think through everything that had happened over the last couple of months. The insanity of it all. He still had a hard time wrapping his head around his new reality. It was a beautiful reality of course, but sometimes he still had to pinch himself to realize it was real and true. He was living the life that any Halo would want, hell, any k-pop fan would want. The chance to date their bias?! It was insane. There was no better word for it. Yeosang still barely believed it himself, and he had seen the pair together. Jongho appeared to be the only one that was hardly fazed by it all. Must be nice.

“Hongjoong?”

The brown haired man blinked and looked up, spotting Seonghwa standing next to him. He smiled and patted the spot next to him, taking Hwa’s hand in his own as if the man needed a guide.

“You looked like you were deep in thought.” The idol smiled as he moved to sit down beside the salesman, their hands separating the moment the singer was sitting.

“I guess I was.” He chuckled, shifting so that he could see Seonghwa better. He took Hwa’s hand again and interlocked their fingers. 

“What were you thinking about?” The idol’s voice dropped to a whisper, apparently finding their voices too jarring for the peaceful silence that had stood before them. 

“You,” Hongjoong whispered in turn, turning to face the other man fully. 

“Oh?”

“How all of this has happened, how much it still feels unbelievable to me.” Hongjoong offered a shy smile as he looked down at their hands. “You… this means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me. I just-thank you for everything.”

Silence stood once more before them for several ticks of a minute before Seonghwa spoke. “I should be thanking you, not the other way around, but you’re welcome.” The man’s thumb moved over Hongjoong’s hand, and when the brown haired man looked up, he noticed that the singer was staring down at their hands. “It feels unbelievable to me too.”

“How come?” Hongjoong didn’t understand that. He wasn’t an idol, and Seonghwa had not been following his career for nearly a decade. 

The singer looked up, a blush on his cheeks as he shook his head. “Back home I never thought I’d be where I am right now. You mean a lot to me, and so does all of this.”

His breath caught in his throat, and Hongjoong feared he may forget how to breathe all together. The moment was so perfect, so beautiful. Seonghwa wrapped up by the fire’s glow, the two barring their hearts to one another…

Hongjoong leaned forward, his heart squeezing in his chest. A hand came to rest on Seonghwa’s jaw as he pulled the other closer until their lips finally met in the middle. They were just as soft as Hongjoong knew they would be. A part of him screamed that he shouldn’t be kissing Seonghwa so early, that he needed to pull away, but the other part encouraged him forward, especially as the singer seemed to melt into the kiss himself and neither one pulled away. It was soft, somewhat tentative as they moved their lips against the other in perfect harmony. Hongjoong was pretty sure he heard a contented sigh from Seonghwa, and the man’s hand definitely squeezed his tighter. The world ceased spinning, the air stood still, and Hongjoong felt himself floating. It was such a simple kiss, but it meant everything to him. His desire to deepen the kiss was the only thing that finally pulled him back, but only so he could rest his forehead against Seonghwa’s, eyes still closed. 

“Can we be…” Seonghwa started speaking but paused, “What is the word… can we be…”

Hongjoong wasn’t sure what word he was looking for, so he couldn’t help. 

“Can we be… excluded?”

The brown haired man pulled away to stare at the idol with a highly confused expression. “Excluded? From what?” 

Seonghwa opened his eyes and frowned. “I ruined the mood.” 

Hongjoong couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, though he quickly softened it with a squeeze of Seonghwa’s hand. “No, no, you didn’t ruin anything,” he reassured, still chuckling. “But… excluded?”

Seonghwa groaned, pressing a hand to his forehead as his cheeks flushed even deeper. “That’s not it… I mean, what’s the word for… just us. You and me. No one else.” He hesitated, clearly struggling to grasp the right word, his frustration softened by the vulnerable expression in his eyes.

Hongjoong’s smile turned gentle as the meaning dawned on him. “Do you mean… exclusive?”

Seonghwa’s eyes brightened as he let out a small sigh of relief. “Yes! Exclusive.” He cleared his throat, glancing back down at their hands and tracing Hongjoong’s fingers with his thumb. “Can we… be exclusive?”

The warmth from the fire was nothing compared to the heat spreading through Hongjoong’s chest. He felt a surge of affection and a flicker of nervousness, knowing that this wasn’t just a simple question. It was Seonghwa, the man he had admired from afar, wanting to take this leap with him. Hongjoong’s hand tightened around Seonghwa’s as he nodded, his voice soft but filled with conviction.

“Yes. I’d like that a lot.”

Relief and joy shone in Seonghwa’s eyes as he leaned in, resting his forehead against Hongjoong’s again. They stayed close, basking in the fire's quiet warmth and the moment's soft glow between them. Hongjoong couldn’t resist leaning in for another gentle kiss, just to feel the closeness again, his heart skipping as Seonghwa responded with that same sweet, unhurried tenderness.

After a few more heartbeats, Hongjoong pulled back, letting their hands rest between them. “For the record,” he murmured, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips, “I’d be happy to be ‘excluded’ with you any time.”

Seonghwa laughed, the sound low and comforting, melting any last bit of nervousness left in the air. “I’m glad. But… next time, maybe I’ll let you handle the English part.”

Hongjoong grinned, resting his head against Seonghwa’s shoulder, feeling more at home in that moment than he ever had before. “Deal.”

“You’re my namja chingu .” Seonghwa’s words pierced Hongjoong’s heart with a pleasant glow. 

“I know what that means.” He chuckled.

“I wasn’t sure if you would or not, since you told me you don’t know much Korean.”

“I’m your namja chingu, and you’re my boyfriend too.”

And as they watched the fire crackle softly before them, hand in hand, they let the world fade away, knowing that for tonight, they had all they needed in each other.

⧭

Hongjoong was not ready to return to work the next day, but he did so anyway, and with a skip to his step. Exclusive. He and Seonghwa were an item. Park Fucking Seonghwa was his boyfriend, his namja chingu! Maybe he had slipped through a crack and was living in a parallel universe now, because his universe dictated that such things were not possible. He was living the impossible, and he was okay with it. He still felt like he needed to take things slow with Seonghwa, despite them being an official couple. They had kissed again once he dropped Seonghwa off at home, but he continued to keep it PG no matter how much he longed for something more. Knowing he was in a relationship with the idol was enough for now, he didn’t want to add make out sessions. Well, he did, his brain just wouldn’t be able to keep up with all of that at once. Maybe in a few days he’d feel different, but he was determined to not move too quickly. Not just for his own sake, but for Seonghwa’s too. Hongjoong had honestly never moved so slowly with anyone before, but it was Seonghwa! He almost wanted the other man to set the pace at which they moved, but Hongjoong was someone that liked being in control. He didn’t like taking orders and doing what others told him to do… but… Seonghwa. 

Clearly he was doomed. 

Kiandra was overjoyed when she was told the news, drawing attention to herself from Ted, who looked at the pair from across the store. She noticed him staring and rolled her eyes. “Why he always gotta be in our business?” She huffed as she noticed him walking towards them. 

“Because the world hates us.” Hongjoong sighed.

“It doesn’t hate you! God what I wouldn’t give to be in your shoes. Not with Seonghwa, but like if my favorite singer came and asked me to be his girlfriend? I’d pass out. How did you not pass out?”

“Pure luck.” Hongjoong chuckled. 

“What’s going on?” Ted stood by their table, looking down at the pair.

“Nothing.” Kia rolled her eyes, not caring that the man could see her reaction. 

“We’re just talking about my vacation.” Hongjoong smiled kindly, trying to ease the tension. Nothing could really bring him down today. 

“Oh right, yeah, how was it?” Ted pulled a chair out and sat down. 

Kia pulled her phone out, ignoring the man. 

“It was alright. I was sick for most of it but managed to spend at least one day at my parents' cabin.” Hongjoong omitted details the man didn’t need. 

“Ah, man, that sucks. But hey, glad you’re feeling better now, though.”

“Thanks.” Hongjoong heard his phone notify him of a text and picked it up. 

Kiandra:
Why is he here?

Hongjoong chuckled and glanced her way, seeing her roll her eyes again. 

Hongjoong:
Because he is nosy

Kiandra:
He needs to go or im gonna go

Hongjoong:
Don’t you dare abandon me!

“Hey Hongjoong, what does BAN stand for?” Ted spoke up again and Hongjoong glanced his way with a frown. 

“I have no idea.”

“Come on, you’ve been here how long? And you’re a keyholder too. You’re supposed to know this, man.”

“What difference does it make what that means?” Kia shot off with an annoyed glare. “You’re never going to need to know it if Hongjoong doesn’t.” The woman stood up and stomped away, successfully abandoning Hongjoong. 

“What’s eating her?” Ted asked, trying to look innocent but Hongjoong wasn’t buying it. He was pretty sure the man asked asinine pointless questions just to get on people’s nerves and to try and find a way to make shots against the brown haired man for not knowing something trivial. 

Thankfully, a customer came in at that moment, and Hongjoong went to greet them just to get away from Ted. 

An hour later, Hongjoong felt like throwing himself into traffic. 

“Have you tried doing the refresh?” Ted spoke up as if Hongjoong didn’t know what he was doing. 

“Yes, I’ve already done that,” Hongjoong spoke in a deadpan, already tired of Ted thinking he knew more than the tenured rep.

“Ted, go sit down. Hongjoong will get it.” Kia barked.

“I’m just trying to help.”

“There’s really no way to help with E-Sims, Ted,” Hongjoong argued. “They’re stupid, and they don’t like to work the way they're supposed to. I’m going to have to call this in, most likely.”

Another hour passed before the problem was resolved, and Hongjoong was ready to go home. He hated E-Sims with a passion and ended up going on a rant about his hatred of them for the next thirty minutes. After that he felt better and finally went to sit down and check his phone. He had received a text from Seonghwa an hour ago but hadn’t gotten a chance to check it. 

My Boyfriend:
What time are you off work today?

Hongjoong:
Hi! Sorry, I was with a customer. I get off at 7:30. But most likely I’ll be out of here by 7:15. Why? What’s up?

My Boyfriend:
Hi! 🥰 I was hoping to call you tonight if you didn’t mind. 

Hongjoong:
Of course you can call me! Why would I mind? lol

My Boyfriend:
First day back to work and all of that. It can be tiring. 

Hongjoong:
Pft nah! My job is super laid back most of the time, minus Ted. But yes, I’ll call you as soon as I leave tonight. Does that work?

My Boyfriend:
Yes! 

Hongjoong:
I’ve got to work the rest of this week since I was off Sunday and Monday, but do you want to come to the house on Sunday for that movie date we were supposed to have had on Halloween?

My Boyfriend:
I’d love to!

Hongjoong:
Hooray!

Once again Hongjoong was left in a good headspace and nothing was able to upset him. The rest of the work day sped by and before he knew it was driving home, talking to his boyfriend on the phone. 

⧭

Sunday night, Seonghwa arrived with a shy smile, his black hair framing his face in soft waves. Hongjoong had kept it simple, ordering pizza and wings with a two liter of Coke, but as the night unfolded, the food barely held their attention. They each picked at a slice, nibbling a few wings here and there, but most of it lay untouched, abandoned in favor of something more compelling: each other.

As soon as they’d set their plates aside, Seonghwa shifted closer, leaning against Hongjoong with a content sigh. Without a word, he took Hongjoong’s arm and placed it around his own shoulders, settling in with a relaxed ease that made Hongjoong’s heart flutter. If his bias was taking these steps, letting himself be vulnerable and open, then Hongjoong knew it wasn’t too much, wasn’t anything that might make the other uncomfortable.Hwa was here because he wanted to be, and that thought alone made Hongjoong’s cheeks warm with quiet happiness.

As the movie played, they sank deeper into each other’s embrace, barely noticing the plot unfolding onscreen. By the time the credits rolled, Seonghwa’s head had drifted down to rest against Hongjoong’s chest, his soft, steady breaths filling the quiet space between them. The brown haired man sat perfectly still, afraid to move even an inch, his heart pounding in his chest as he looked down at the black haired man who had so effortlessly curled into his arms.

It had been less than a week since their “excluded” conversation, and Hongjoong still felt a thrill every time he thought about it. He’d agreed to the wordplay, and now he had the singer here, wrapped around him in a way that felt both surreal and perfect. He wasn’t sure he was ready for the overwhelming closeness of this moment, yet he knew he didn’t want it to end.

Hongjoong lifted his free hand and hesitated for a heartbeat before gently running his fingers through Seonghwa’s hair. The idol’s soft sigh in response only made his heart beat faster. Carefully, so as not to disturb the moment, he moved his hand to rest against the idol’s arm that was wrapped around his middle.

They sat there like that for a few minutes longer, listening to each other’s quiet breaths in the dim glow of the room, until Seonghwa stirred, shifting slightly as he tilted his head up to look at Hongjoong.

“Is this okay?” Seonghwa’s voice was barely a whisper, his dark eyes searching Hongjoong’s face with an open, vulnerable look that made Joong’s chest tighten.

The salesman’s lips curved into a gentle smile. “More than okay,” he murmured, giving Seonghwa’s arm a light squeeze. “I… I really like this.”

A soft smile lit Seonghwa’s face as he snuggled back down, his fingers resting lightly against Hongjoong’s side, drawing small, absentminded circles. The touch was simple, sweet, and completely overwhelming in its own way. Hongjoong closed his eyes, willing himself to breathe, to take in every small sensation of Seonghwa’s warmth pressed against him.

As they sat there in the quiet room, Hongjoong couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just the beginning of something beautiful. It might still be new and a little terrifying, but he was ready for it—ready to see where it would take them, as long as he could keep Seonghwa close.

Chapter Text

Hongjoong:
As this is your first year in America, I wanted to invite you to Thanksgiving dinner with my family and Yeosang and Jongho.

My Boyfriend:
Is that the feast holiday? Similar to Chuseok?

Hongjoong:
That’s the one! Had to fight tooth and nail with my parents to get them to join the tradition when I was a kid lol

My Boyfriend:
I’d love too! I’m also about to head your way 🥰

Hongjoong:
Great! I’ll let my Eomma know. She’ll be really excited. And I’ll unlock the door for you. 😍

It was exactly two weeks until Thanksgiving, and Hongjoong had been meaning to ask Seonghwa if he wanted to join him for dinner with his family. But work had been relentless with the holiday season kicking into high gear, leaving him little time to chat with his boyfriend. Between the nonstop flow of customers and endless holiday deals, Hongjoong found himself missing their usual steady stream of messages, missing Seonghwa. In previous years, the holiday rush had been a thrill, something he looked forward to. But now, all he wanted was a quiet shift so he could sneak in more texts.

Luckily, it was Thursday, his day off, and Hwa had insisted on picking him up for their dinner date. Hongjoong had tried to argue, but Seonghwa had been adamant. “I’m driving this time,” he’d said with a teasing smile. “It’s my turn to be your chaperone.”

When the idol arrived, he looked effortlessly charming in a simple black sweater and dark jeans, his hair perfectly tousled. Hongjoong felt his heart skip a beat, barely able to keep his excitement in check as he greeted him with a tight hug, enjoying the way the man’s body felt against his, especially against the cold chill in the air. 

They arrived at a cozy, upscale restaurant with a softly lit, intimate ambiance that set the perfect mood for their evening. Their booth was tucked away in a quiet corner, providing a sense of privacy that let them relax and enjoy each other’s company without distraction. The restaurant staff brought out warm bread and wine to start, and they lingered over the menu, catching up on little details they’d missed in each other’s lives over the past week.

The food arrived—Hongjoong’s pasta, rich and steaming, and Seonghwa’s expertly grilled salmon. They savored each bite, talking between mouthfuls and exchanging small smiles that said more than words. Hongjoong couldn’t help but think about how natural it all felt as if they had been sharing moments like this forever.

As they finished their meal, the singer reached across the table, his fingers brushing Joong’s hand with a warmth that made his heart skip a beat.

“Thanksgiving sounds like fun,” Seonghwa said, his voice soft. “Especially with you and your family. It reminds me a bit of Chuseok, but I’m excited to see what it’s all about.” His eyes shone with anticipation, and the salesman could see the genuine excitement there, warming him from the inside out.

Hongjoong’s smile grew as he laced his fingers through Seonghwa’s. “It’ll be nice, I promise. A little chaotic, but the best kind,” he laughed. “You’ve already met my parents, but they’ll be thrilled to see you again. And Yeosang and Jongho are already planning on trying to make you laugh during dinner. They’ll be up to no good, as usual.”

Seonghwa chuckled, squeezing the brown haired man’s hand. “I’ll be ready for them.” His expression softened as he looked down at their entwined fingers, his thumb grazing Hongjoong’s gently and thoughtfully. “But I’m most excited to be there with you.”

Hongjoong’s heart flipped slightly, and he felt his cheeks heat up. This relationship was still new, still filled with firsts that left him breathless, but he knew this was something real, something he wanted to build and cherish.

“Same here,” he murmured, his voice low as he met Seonghwa’s gaze. “It’s going to be special. I’m glad you’ll be part of it.”

The night lingered as they sat together, the hum of the restaurant fading into the background. For a while, they simply enjoyed each other’s presence, lost in the quiet warmth of the evening, content in the knowledge that they’d be spending the holidays—and perhaps many more days to come—together.

After lingering over their desserts and another glass of wine, Seonghwa paid the bill and gave Hongjoong a warm smile as he slipped his coat back on, ready to head out into the crisp night air. The evening had felt like a perfect escape from their busy schedules, filled with quiet laughs, easy conversation, and the warm glow of candlelight. As they stepped outside, the shorter man instinctively looped his arm around Seonghwa’s shoulder, pulling him close to ward off the chill.

“Did you want to head back to mine?” The idol asked softly, glancing over at him with a gentle smile. But the salesman hesitated, tugging him a bit closer, a bashful smile playing at his lips.

“Would you… want to come back to my place instead?” he asked, his voice a bit shy. “It’s closer, and I still have that movie you wanted to watch.”

Seonghwa’s face lit up, his expression softening. “I’d like that,” he murmured, nodding. “Lead the way.”

They got back into Seonghwa’s car, the drive short and filled with comfortable silence as the streetlights whizzed past. The cool autumn night air seemed to wrap them in a quiet intimacy, both of them still caught up in the lingering warmth of their evening together. When they reached Hongjoong’s place, the black haired man walked around the car to meet him, their hands finding each other’s almost naturally as they made their way up to the door.

Hongjoong flicked on the soft lamp light as they stepped inside, casting a cozy glow over the entryway. He hung up their coats, and they kicked off their shoes before he led Seonghwa to the living room.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Hongjoong said, motioning to the couch. “I’ll get us some blankets and drinks.”

Seonghwa smiled, settling down on the couch and watching Hongjoong move around his home, clearly in his element. There was something peaceful about being in each other’s spaces like they were building a small world that was just theirs.

When Hongjoong returned with a couple of blankets and a warm mug of tea for each of them, his boyfriend reached out to pull him down beside him, wrapping one of the blankets over both of them. They settled in close, the quiet sounds of the night surrounding them as they relaxed into each other’s warmth.

“This is nice,” Seonghwa murmured, his voice soft. “Thanks for tonight, Joong.”

Hongjoong’s heart swelled as he glanced at Seonghwa, his smile mirroring the gentle affection he saw in his boyfriend’s gaze. “Anytime, Hwa. I can’t think of a better way to end the night.”

They sat there, nestled together, content to let the rest of the world fade away, at least for a little while.

Hongjoong had almost forgotten about the movie after the first forty five minutes. His boyfriend had stolen his attention, cuddled up next to him with his head on the salesman’s chest again. It was impossible for Hongjoong not to pay attention to him and every little move he made. The way his hair fell, the way his hand felt where it connected with his waist in a gentle grip, how his cheek felt against Joong’s ribs. Whatever shampoo he used smelled amazing, and the brown haired man felt dizzy by its scent. Like their previous home date, he ran his fingers through Seonghwa’s hair. The man’s hair was so silky and soft, and Hongjoong would be lying if he said he wasn’t obsessed with it. 

Another forty five minutes passed with Hongjoong completely lost on what was happening in the movie when it finally ended. Hwa sat up and stretched his arms over his head. 

“That was good, I really enjoyed it. The part where Chris walked in on Jennie and Lester, though?” The singer shook his head. “I was really worried for them, weren’t you?” The man turned to stare at Joong.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I was too.” He nodded along. Hongjoong had no idea. He didn’t remember that part, nor did he pay attention to the characters' names. 

Seonghwa’s gaze narrowed playfully, a knowing smile creeping onto his lips. “Oh, really?” he asked, leaning in closer. “Then what was your favorite part?”

Hongjoong blinked, a little caught off guard. “Uh… definitely, um… the part where they—” He paused, searching his memory for something, anything that happened in the movie. But with the black haired man’s cheek against his ribs and that mesmerizing scent of his shampoo lingering, his mind was blank.

The idol raised an eyebrow, smirking. “You have no idea what happened, do you?”

Caught, Joong chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay, fine. You win. You’re just… way more distracting than the movie.”

Seonghwa’s smirk softened, his eyes twinkling. “Well, in that case…” He leaned in a little closer, wrapping an arm around Hongjoong’s waist. “Maybe next time, we skip the movie?”

Hongjoong’s heart thudded as he grinned back, his hand reaching up to thread through Seonghwa’s hair again gently. “Yeah… I think I could live with that.” Maybe. Could he? He supposed it depended on what the singer wanted to do other than watching the movie… something that was quickly answered for him. 

“Is that so?” The man moved again, standing up for a brief second before suddenly sitting in Joong’s lap, legs open as one rested on either side of the brown haired man. 

Hongjoong gulped, afraid to move or to breathe. Was this really happening?

“Is this okay?” Seonghwa’s voice was no louder than a whisper, and somehow it came across as both seductive and unsure. Something that Hongjoong didn’t think was possible, but he was living in a world he didn’t think was possible either, so he was forced to accept once again his new reality that made no sense.

He nodded and tried to speak, but all that came out was air. After trying again, he finally managed: “Y-yeah.”

Seonghwa took his hands and placed them on his waist. “You don’t need to be afraid to touch me, Joong.”

The salesman was not going to survive. This was his idol! His bias! PARK FUCKING SEONGHWA! There were a lot… A LOT… of dirty thoughts, dreams, and fantasies about the man, and now he was actually living in one of those fantasies. 

“Okay.” He dumbly nodded his head. He felt like a teenager again. The first time he had ever kissed someone, and it was an older and more experienced girl that had led him along through the movements of a make out session. 

The singer leaned forward, that complex mix of emotions shining on his face. Confidence, concern, anxiety… arousal. Hongjoong was so caught up in the man’s expression that he didn’t have time to react to how close Seonghwa was getting until his lips were on Joong’s. The brown haired man returned the kiss, having already grown accustomed to kissing his idol. Soft, delicate, sweet… gentle. So he was quite surprised when Seonghwa’s tongue slid across his bottom lip, seeking entrance that Joong quickly granted, moaning at the sensation of the man’s tongue pressing against his own. He was sure that his face had turned red and was grateful that Hwa couldn’t see it. He hadn’t meant to make a single fucking noise and felt insanely insecure for having done so. 

Though it became evident that Seonghwa liked it, for he deepened the kiss even further, hands locking on the back of the brown haired man’s head, hips lifting just slightly on Joong’s lap. Hongjoong had to push his anxiety away to focus on what was happening, not wanting to fuck everything up. Pushing his own tongue into Hwa’s mouth, exploring every inch as he was rewarded by a beautiful melody from Seonghwa, who moaned into his mouth. However, it was on the quieter side, as if he, too, were embarrassed by the sound he emitted. It was one of the few sounds Hongjoong was granted that night.

Their game of making out continued for the next thirty minutes. Having moved into a more comfortable position, the two ended up laying side by side on the couch, lips only ever parting so that they might breathe before they found themselves drawn to one another over and over again. Their hands remained above the waist, which Hongjoong was quite thankful for. He didn’t think he would be able to handle anything else. It was already hard enough for him to keep up with the fact that he was making out with the man of his dreams. Every sound he pulled from Hwa sent him into dreamland, and by the time that Park Fucking Seonghwa went home, Hongjoong was left with a painful erection. One shower later… and time spent with his hand, he was feeling a little better but still very much over the moon with what had happened. 

It only took him a few minutes to run off to his bedroom directly after his shower, putting his phone on the charger before he called Yeosang.

“Yes, hyung?” Yeosang spoke through the speaker, and Hongjoong felt himself growing more grounded. 

“I just fucking made out with Seonghwa!” The brown haired man screamed at his phone as he tossed himself onto his bed perpendicularly. 

“What?! Oh my god!” Yeosang screamed back, and soon, the two were screaming at each other, neither understanding what was being said. 

“This is huge! Oh my god! Is he a good kisser?” Once they finally calmed down, Yeosang managed to ask a question that Hongjoong heard and understood.

“Oh my god, he’s an amazing kisser. Holy fuck. I don’t think I’ve ever kissed anyone that was as good as he is. Fuuuuuck!”

Yeosang laughed. “I always knew he would be. Just had this feeling. What? No, Jongho, I’m not talking about you, babe. I’m talking about Seonghwa.” The man was screaming in the phone again, clearly yelling through various rooms to talk to his boyfriend without either moving. “What? I said Seonghwa! Oh my god…” The sound of shuffling was heard on the other side of the phone. “Hongjoong made out with Seonghwa. I was saying that I always knew he’d be a good kisser, and I got confirmation from Joong hyung.”

“Hongjoong and Seonghwa made out? Way to go hyung!” Jongho’s voice came through the phone, and the salesman chuckled. 

“Okay, I’m going back to the kitchen. Stop being nosy.” Despite his words, his voice sounded tender and sweet, and Hongjoong was pretty sure that he heard a smack of lips against one another. “Hongjoong, how are you holding up?”

“Not well.” The brown haired man admitted. “I nearly died, Yeosang. It was a lot, and fuck, Seonghwa must have realized my hesitation at the beginning because he fucking moved my hands onto him and told me not to be afraid of touching him. I was so embarrassed and also still very afraid of touching him.”

“You’ve got to get past that, Joong. What gives? You’ve never been like this with boyfriends in the past.”

“I know, but this is Seonghwa. I’m afraid of fucking something up, moving things too quickly, scaring him off… god you know how I am!”

“How you are with what?”

“You know.”

“No, I really don’t know.” Yeosang’s sigh was felt in Hongjoong’s soul.

“I like control, Yeosang. I like being in control in the bedroom.”

“How would I know this? Have I ever slept with you?” 

“You better not have.” Jongho’s voice, while distant, was heard, and it made Hongjoong laugh.

“Why is he always involved in our conversations?” Hongjoong shook his head. 

“Because he is nosy and wants things to tell his coworkers about. I’m pretty sure he is going to come up with some bullshit cheating scandal now just to keep his coworkers thinking that he is living some wrecked existence.”

“Wow.” Joong sat up, frowning. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this with Seonghwa. I’m really worried I’m going to scare him off, or I’m going to move too fast, be disrespectful, whatever.”

“He told you to touch him or close enough. It sounds like he is trying to show you that there are very few boundaries between you two. You like control, but maybe you need to let him show you where your boundaries are. God, talk to him, Joong. Find things out before you go too far if there is such a thing. You can’t just beat around the bush and hope it brings the answers you seek.” Yeosang’s wisdom was always good, even when Hongjoong didn’t listen. 

“I don’t know. I’m scared to do that too. I just need to get out of my head.”

“I’ll say.”

⧭

Another impromptu make out session happened the following week, and it left Hongjoong reeling just as much as the first one. Once again, Hwa had to initiate it and physically put the salesman’s hands on him. The poor brown haired man just didn’t know how to make sense of his life anymore. It all felt so unbelievable with every new path they ventured onto. It had been hard enough to accept that Seonghwa was in Montrose and then to accept that the man wanted to be friends with him. The next hurdle had been dating, and then, of course, the hurdle of accepting that Park Fucking Seonghwa was his boyfriend (something he was still working on), but to add the fact that he was openly allowed to make out with the man? His head couldn’t keep up with all of it. He wanted desperately to do better, to accept everything and be the confident person he knew he could be, but those pesky fears kept getting the best of him. Continual conversations with Yeosang (and Jongho when he decided to chime into a conversation he wasn’t part of) did very little to help Hongjoong.

By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, the pair had made out four times, and yes, Hongjoong definitely kept count. Twice in his living room on his couch, once in his Jeep outside of Seonghwa’s house like a couple of teenagers, and once in the singer’s home in his barely used living room. Each time, things seemed to get a little bit heavier and hotter. Hands remained above the waist, but Seonghwa had ceased being as quiet as the first time they had made out and didn’t appear to be concerned about releasing them. Hongjoong greatly loved evoking such sounds from the black haired man, but every session left him with a problem in his pants that he was forced to take care of on his own. Sometimes he thought about trying to be bold and confident, moving things further, seeing what he would be allowed to do, but that self imposed wall of fear kept him from doing anything that Hwa hadn’t already given him permission to do. It was pathetic. 

Hongjoong was feeling quite inadequate, but no matter how much he tried to do better, he just couldn’t. Seonghwa didn’t appear too bothered, but Joong felt it would end up becoming an issue for his boyfriend. Luckily, with it being Thanksgiving, he didn’t figure that any such concerns would be brought forward. 

The brown haired man dressed relatively simply for Thanksgiving, as he usually did. A light blue sweater, dark jeans, and sneakers. Yeosang always told him he looked like a dad when he dressed in such clothes, but they were comfortable and casual enough while remaining “nicer” than just a t-shirt and jeans. He had tried on quite a few outfits before deciding on it, wanting to look good for his boyfriend. Honestly, the outfit mostly won out because the doorbell rang, telling the salesman he had company. 

When Seonghwa arrived at Hongjoong’s doorstep, he looked every bit like he’d stepped off the pages of a high fashion magazine. Joong's eyes widened when he opened the door, taking in the striking ensemble his boyfriend had put together.

The idol stood there in a sleek, all black outfit that was effortlessly stylish with an edge of mystery. He wore a fitted, structured jacket with a high collar, secured by three metallic clasp closures that ran across his chest. The clasps glinted subtly in the light, adding a unique touch of detail to the otherwise minimalistic piece. The jacket’s slightly oversized fit and wide sleeves gave him an aura of relaxed elegance, yet it was the kind of look that commanded attention.

His pants were a perfect complement, made from a soft, velvety fabric that caught the light just enough to contrast with the more rugged structure of his jacket. The pants flared slightly at the hem, accentuating his long legs and giving him a graceful, almost vintage silhouette. Along one side of the pants hung a belted strap, adding an unexpected, asymmetrical detail that the salesman couldn’t help but admire.

On his feet, the singer wore polished black leather boots with a sharp, pointed toe, peeking out from under the wide legged pants. The whole look was monochromatic and modern, but Seonghwa wore it with such ease that it felt both intentional and casual.

“Wow,” Hongjoong breathed, eyes flicking up and down as he took in the sight before him. “You… You look amazing, babe.”

Seonghwa offered a shy smile, brushing a strand of hair back before glancing down at himself. “Is this okay? I wanted to wear something a little more special, but I didn’t want to be… too much.”

“No,” Hongjoong assured him quickly, reaching out to touch his hand with a warm smile. “It’s perfect. You look incredible.” He chuckled, adding, “Just a fair warning—my mom’s going to think I brought home a model and not an idol.”

Hwa laughed softly, his cheeks flushing slightly as he looked down, bashful. But as they made their way to the car, Hongjoong couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride. Walking into Thanksgiving dinner with Seonghwa dressed like this felt like he was bringing a piece of the world’s most stylish runway to his family gathering. And as they held hands on the way to the car, Joong thought to himself that he was truly thankful—for Seonghwa, for this moment, and for the way they fit together, even in the most unexpected ways.

Sure enough, once they arrived at his parent’s home, his Eomma gushed over Seonghwa. Fawning over the man’s appearance and telling him how beautiful he was. 

Yeosang and Jongho were already there, and Yeosang was so overly excited to see Seonghwa again that he completely abandoned his boyfriend and whatever conversation they were having to go and chime in his own compliments. 

Hongjoong was completely ignored, so he went to join Jongho, a big smile on his face. 

“Your boyfriend is stealing my boyfriend. Is this a conspiracy?” Jongho joked with a small fake pout on his lips.

“It might be. Should have expected he’d get this kind of reception though.” The smile remained on Hongjoong’s face as he watched the black haired man and his small adoring public. 

“Nog?” Jongho offered with a tilt of his head towards the kitchen.

“Is it alcoholic or regular?” Joong followed after the younger man, giving one last look to his boyfriend on his way. 

“Is that a serious question?” The slightly taller man looked over his shoulder with a raised brow. 

“No?” Hongjoong narrowed his eyes at the other. 

“Of course it’s got alcohol in it. That’s how eggnog is supposed to be enjoyed, hyung.”

The brown haired man rolled his eyes. “You’re a shit, you know that right? There is a such thing as non alcoholic eggnog.”

“Yeah, but that is boring.”

Hongjoong moved past Jongho to get his own eggnog, and grabbed a second glass to pour some for his boyfriend. “How long have you two been here and where is my brother?”

“Oh we just got here like ten minutes before you guys. Bumjoong isn’t going to be here. He’s doing Thanksgiving with his girlfriend apparently. Wait, why are you asking me about your own family member? Don’t you two talk to each other?” Jongho looked incredulous. 

“Of course we do!” Joong picked up the two glasses, giving another narrowed glare to Jongho. “Just not over the last few weeks, and I might have the family chat muted cause I got tired of my dad constantly sending weird texts at three in the morning.”

“That’s fair.”

Once they made it back into the living room where everyone had convened, Hongjoong had to fight his mother and Yeosang just to get to his boyfriend. He offered out the glass of eggnog with a smile. “Please give my boyfriend space to breathe.” He shooed Yeosang away, only to get a glare in response. 

“He is breathing just fine, don’t shoo me or I’ll bring out your baby pictures.” Gyeong stuck a finger up in his direction, scolding her son. “If you’ll excuse me, Seonghwa dear, I need to get back to the meal anyway.” 

The idol bowed as she left and then finally looked into his cup, swirling the liquid around. “What is this, Hongjoongie?”

“Eggnog.” The man felt a bit more emblazoned being surrounded by friends and family, which allowed him to place his hand on the small of Seonghwa’s back without any hesitations. 

“Eggnog?” The man sounded the word out with a frown. “Egg?” He swirled the liquid again. “It does not look like egg.”

“Wait, you guys don’t have eggnog in Korea?” Hongjoong was dumbfounded. 

“No, I’ve never heard of eggnog before.”

“Holy shit. Oh you’re going to love it. Try it, oh, and be warned there is alcohol in it.”

The idol looked skeptical but brought the glass to his lips and stole a small sip. “Oh.” He looked delighted before he dived back in for another sip that turned into a large gulp. “That is delicious!”

“I know.” Hongjoong laughed. 

Two eggnog’s later, the couple were sitting comfortably in the living room with Chul, Yeosang and Jongho. Light conversation passed between them all, and occasionally Gyeong appeared, but she refused any offers for help in cooking or preparing the meal. 

“What will we be eating?” The singer questioned the group at large. 

Chul answered with a hint of amusement. “American food. Don’t expect anything like Chuseok, Seonghwa.” 

“Yeah, it’s gonna be turkey and dressing.” Jongho nodded as he squeezed his boyfriend closer to him. 

“I’m looking forward to trying everything.” Seonghwa smiled. 

“I think you’ll enjoy it, besides, Gyeong ssi is an amazing cook, no matter the cuisine type.” Yeosang smiled back as he laid his head on Jongho’s shoulder. 

Sure enough once dinner was served, Seonghwa loaded up his plate with a bit of everything. He seemed to enjoy the meal, and everyone had a good time chatting and enjoying their dinner. 

As the plates were cleared and everyone settled back around the table with satisfied smiles and glasses raised, Chul cleared his throat and glanced around. "Well, as is tradition," he said with a warm smile, "let’s go around and say what we’re thankful for this year."

Yeosang perked up, nudging Jongho playfully. “You should go first,” he whispered, grinning.

Jongho gave him a mock glare before looking around the table. “Alright, alright.” He took a breath, his hand sliding over his boyfriend’s under the table. “This year, I’m thankful for a lot. For Yeosang, of course, for always keeping me on my toes and making me laugh. And I’m thankful for all of you, for welcoming me in and making me feel like part of the family.”

Everyone smiled warmly, and Chul nodded, raising his glass. "To family."

Yeosang spoke next, sitting up a little straighter as he looked at his boyfriend and then at the others. “I’m thankful for Jongho and the peace he’s brought into my life. And for all of you.” His eyes softened as he looked at Hongjoong. “Especially Joong, for always being my best friend and, well, my partner in crime for so many years. Thanks for always being there.”

Hongjoong chuckled, reaching over to pat Yeosang on the shoulder, his heart warming at his friend’s words.

Next, Gyeong, who had returned to sit down and join the group, took a turn. She smiled around the table, her gaze lingering on her son. “I’m thankful for my family and for moments like this. With each of you here, it feels more complete. And for Hongjoong,” she added, her voice full of affection. “You’ve grown into someone I’m so proud of, you and your brother both, even though he isn’t here with us.”

Hongjoong felt his cheeks flush, and he quickly covered it with a grateful nod.

Then it was his father’s turn. Chul leaned back in his chair, looking thoughtful. “I’m thankful for the love and laughter in this house,” he said, glancing over at Gyeong with a wink. “For my beautiful wife, who can cook a Thanksgiving feast better than any restaurant.” Gyeong rolled her eyes with a smile, but her cheeks flushed at the compliment. “And for Hongjoong,” Chul added, his tone softening. “Seeing the man you’ve become, it makes me incredibly proud. And Seonghwa,” he continued, turning to the black haired man beside Hongjoong. “Thank you for being here with us and for bringing out a happiness in my son that’s a joy to see.”

Seonghwa’s eyes widened a little, touched, and he dipped his head respectfully. "Thank you."

Then all eyes turned to Hongjoong, and he felt his heart thump as he took a deep breath. “This year, I’m thankful for my family, for being here, surrounded by the people who mean the most to me, omitting Bumjoong since he decided to be rude,” he began, his gaze flicking around the table with a soft teasing smile. Then he turned to the singer, his hand reaching for his boyfriend’s under the table. “And I’m especially thankful for you, Hwa. For coming into my life like you did, for just… being you. You’re more than I ever dreamed I’d have in my life.”

Seonghwa’s cheeks turned a soft pink as he squeezed Hongjoong’s hand in return, his expression glowing with warmth and gratitude.

Finally, it was the idol’s turn. He looked around the table, taking in the expectant but gentle smiles directed his way. Clearing his throat, he glanced down, clearly a bit shy. “Well,” he began slowly, “this is my first Thanksgiving, and I wasn’t really sure what to expect. But…” He looked at Hongjoong, his gaze tender. “I’m thankful for this family, for opening your home and your hearts to me.” His gaze shifted to Chul and Gyeong. “For making me feel welcome here, even though this holiday is new to me.”

He took a breath, his hand still holding tightly to Hongjoong’s. “And I’m thankful for you, Hongjoong,” he continued, his voice a bit softer, but full of emotion. “For giving me a place to belong here, and for bringing so much joy and warmth into my life. This is all still new to me, but I’m excited for every moment, every memory we get to make together.”

A comfortable silence settled around the table as everyone took in Seonghwa’s heartfelt words. Then Chul raised his glass with a broad smile. “To family, to love, and to new beginnings.”

Everyone clinked their glasses, laughter and warmth filling the air as they exchanged soft smiles, enjoying the closeness they shared. It was a perfect end to a perfect meal, and as Hongjoong glanced over at Seonghwa, he felt a sense of completeness he hadn’t known he was missing. This Thanksgiving had given him more than just a meal with his family, it had given him the start of something beautiful with his bias, a beginning he would cherish for years to come.

After dinner and dessert, more glasses of eggnog were shared and everyone sat in the living room talking and laughing, regalling each other with memories of past Thanksgiving feasts, or in Seonghwa’s case, Chuseok. The hours passed by with everyone enjoying the other’s company. Only when Yeosang and Jongho realized the late hour, did Hongjoong realize that he too needed to get home. It was nearing ten and he had to work the next day. Everyone said their farewell’s and went their own ways, with Hongjoong and Seonghwa climbing into his jeep to make the drive back to the salesman’s home so the idol could take his own car back home.

At least that was the plan before Hongjoong invited Seonghwa in…

⧭

Kissing Seonghwa was one of Hongjoong’s favorite things, and it was something he could do without fear or anxiety. It was everything else that came up with kissing that made him second guess his actions. Though he had had quite a bit of eggnog, so most of those fears were evaporating with every swipe of his tongue against the singer’s. They were in a familiar position, with Hwa in his lap again, delivering beautiful sounds to Hongjoong’s ears and occasionally moving his hips in a way that felt very purposeful and only proved to draw the brown haired man’s arousal out further. It spurred the salesman into a new level of intimacy though, as he broke the kiss to place his lips against the long column of Hwa’s neck. Lips peppering the man’s skin as he moved from the top to the bottom, noticing the way that Seonghwa squirmed in his lap. It was the whispered plea from the idol, a simple, “please”, that brought Hongjoong to graze his teeth against the man’s neck. 

Too much alcohol had been involved, and it was dulling those fears and anxieties, making him not care about being disrespectful or moving too quickly. His grip tightened on Seonghwa’s waist, but only so that he could forcefully drag his bias’s erection against his own, making both pant out in pleasure. Their eyes locked with one another, hooded and heavy, before their lips and tongues meshed together in synchronicity once more. Hongjoong again forcefully moved Hwa, bringing the delicious friction they both wanted. His reward was a moan that vibrated around his mouth and made his teeth chatter. Seonghwa’s hands found their way onto the brown haired man’s shoulders, gripping them tightly as he began rocking his hips back and forth on his own accord. Soon his movements were all the black haired man could focus on, and he dropped his head to rest on top of his hand still on Joong’s shoulder, continuing his movements. 

Hongjoong felt like his head was spinning from delirium. The two worked in tandem, both panting heavily from how good it felt despite the layers of clothing between them, or perhaps because of it. The clothing only added to the friction, but apparently it was too much for the singer, for one of his hands left the younger man’s shoulder and slid down to his own pants, where he unbuttoned and unzipped them, exposing his underwear and the bulge beneath them. Hwa moved his head, the pair's eyes meeting. Joong could see the question in Seonghwa’s gaze, and nodded his head to the unspoken query. His breath caught in his throat when the idol’s hand was felt pulling his zipper down to leave him in the same situation, with his underwear now exposed and the tent in his underwear being far more noticeable with the thinner fabric being the only thing standing in the way. 

The brown haired man’s brain completely evaporated when that same hand slunk into the flap in front of his underwear, and wrapped around his cock. Hongjoong’s head fell back against the couch, moaning openly as he tried to get oxygen to his brain once more. Seonghwa rocked his hips against him again, while still holding onto his boyfriend’s dick. The singer’s lips pressed against Joong’s jaw and down his neck, but he was barely able to pay attention to anything outside of the hand in his underwear. Though it wasn’t long before Seonghwa had pulled Joong’s member through the opening in his underwear, giving him freer range to pump his hand up and down, wrapping around the head as his fingers collected some of the precum there to spread across the shaft. “You’re so big.” Hwa whispered into his ear, a smirk heard in his tone. 

Hongjoong was a paralyzed victim to his bias’s ministrations. His brain had completely clouded over with pleasure and nothing else mattered. His breath continued to fall hotly against his lips as he panted out a melody of sensuous intent. When Hwa moved his hand away, he was given only a moment to realize that his head wasn’t as fogged before the man’s own dick was pressed against his. Seonghwa moved his hips again, pressing the two cocks together for the previous friction, but now without the clothing that had gotten in the way previously. 

The salesman allowed Seonghwa to continue his actions for a moment before it became too much. Then he was shoving the black haired man down onto his couch so he could hover over the other. Hwa’s eyes were large with surprise as he looked up at Hongjoong with questions in his eyes, but they diminished once the brown haired man pressed their dicks together again and mimicked the same movements he would do if he was fucking into Seonghwa. The idol’s hand found its way to Joong’s shoulders once more, holding onto them tightly as he let himself surrender to the pleasure. Joong knew he wouldn’t be able to cum just from what they were doing, but he wasn’t ready for the pleasure to end yet anyway. It felt so good, so surreal, and he was loving every single second. He continued for the next several minutes until his desire for something more hit him.

He had just started to slow his movements when suddenly Seonghwa’s body stiffened and his back arched, causing his chest to rub against his boyfriend’s. Hongjoong knew what an orgasm looked like, but was so blown away by Seonghwa having one from something so simple that he stopped all his movements and just watched in shock and awe. The singer’s eyes had fallen closed while his mouth popped open, a moan spilling across the expanse of air between them. “Hongjoong…” the man’s name was a whisper, but it made the brown haired man’s own body stiffen before his cock twitched and his hand gripped the couch to keep himself from groaning. 

“Did you just…” He already knew the answer, but as Seonghwa came down from his high and nodded his head while biting his bottom lip, Joong thought he might pass out. 

Before he could move off of his boyfriend though, his cock was grasped again, this time with a much wetter hand. Clearly Seonghwa had gathered some of his own cum from wherever it had landed, to give more lubrication to the handjob he was determined to give Joong. His hand slid much easier, and quicker too. 

Hongjoong felt his toes curling as he hovered over his boyfriend, panting, continuing to keep his weight off of the other as he gasped out like a fish out of water. His hips jerked into the man’s hand as he got closer and closer. 

“Yes, cum for me, Joong. I want you to cum on me.” Seonghwa’s filthy words made Hongjoong open his eyes, finding his boyfriend watching him so intently, eyes glazed over from his own pleasure. Hongjoong hadn’t even initially noticed that Hwa had managed to get his coat unbuttoned and pulled up the shirt that was underneath, exposing his deliciously flat stomach. The sight of it, along with the man’s words, was enough for Hongjoong to be sent over the proverbial edge. 

“God Seonghwa!” His hips rushed forward faster and faster as he exploded all over the idol. His hips slowed, jerking forward a couple more times as his boyfriend continued to carry him through his orgasm. 

Silence spilled between them for a few seconds until Hongjoong felt he was more capable of speaking. He looked between them, specifically at the singer’s stomach and cringed. “I need to get you s-something to clean up-up with.” The shock of the moment began to settle in, and he felt that his best option was to get out of the living room as quickly as possible. 

Awkwardly, he moved off of the black haired man and got himself repositioned back in his clothing before he stumbled away to find a towel.

Of course, once he got into his bathroom, Hongjoong freaked out, sending a text to Yeosang with shaky fingers.

Hongjoong:
I CAN’T BREATHE! HOLY FUCK HELP! SEONGHWA AND I JUST FUCKING HAD SEX! HAND SEX! OMG! HELP!

Chapter Text

The only sound in the living room was Seonghwa’s breathing as he tried to get it under control. The previous events continued to play out in his head, and he couldn’t deny the excitement and thrill that still lingered within him. Every time that he made out with Hongjoong, he wanted to take things further, so he continued to push the envelope, seeing how far the other man would allow things to go. He hadn’t expected things to go as far as they had tonight, but he was glad they did. His skin felt like it was on fire, his heart was beating a happy beat out, and his head still swam with pleasure. He stretched out his arms above his head, a small smile on his face while he awaited his boyfriend’s return. He wanted cuddles now. Wanted to be wrapped up in Joong’s arms, to smell his familiar cologne and find the comfort and happiness that he always felt when he had the man so close. He was a bit buzzed, teetering on drunk, but he wasn’t too worried about that. How could he be worried about it when he was so happy and content?

A minute passed and he glanced towards Hongjoong’s bedroom, only seeing darkness beyond it. He had watched the man disappear into his bedroom, so he knew the shorter man had gone into the master bath. Perhaps he was cleaning himself up before he returned to Seonghwa? The musician chewed on his inner cheek and continued to wait. He really wanted to be clean already, but he didn’t wish to rush his boyfriend. However, when three more minutes passed with no sign of Hongjoong, Hwa began to get worried. He looked around and thankfully spotted a box of tissues and used them to clean his stomach and hand free of soilage. Another minute passed with no Hongjoong, so the man sat up and fully dressed himself once more, but he couldn’t deny the sour feeling that was settling inside of him. 

Had he messed up? Had he forced Hongjoong into something he wasn’t ready for? His thoughts lingered on the moment. Joong had agreed to everything. He hadn’t tried to stop Seonghwa, he had even been the one to push the black haired man down onto the couch. But then… the times they had made out, it was always the singer initiating it. Hwa was always the one that had to move Hongjoong’s hands, to force him to touch the idol. Was there something wrong with Seonghwa? 

It was getting closer to two years since he left AURAGE. Had he lost his allure to the man? Seonghwa had never had the best confidence in his appearance. It had been horribly low when he first joined AURAGE and started his career, but his fans, his Halo’s, had helped him learn to love himself more and more. Nothing ever really took his confidence to the levels it needed to be at. He faked it a lot. While it was better, he still had plenty of times when he self admonished or felt ugly, or not good enough. Now, being out of the spotlight like he was, and dealing with all of the negativity he had dealt with at the hands of so called fans and critics, his confidence had dropped extremely low. 

Was he not good enough anymore for Hongjoong? Maybe he didn’t spend enough time at the gym. He had missed a few days one week on his skincare routine because he had opted into being lazy. There were a few times he had to use a different kind of shampoo because his was imported and took forever to arrive in tiny Montrose. He didn’t always wear makeup. Some days he just lounged around his house in his pajamas and didn’t bother changing into anything else. 

Was Hongjoong not attracted to him anymore?

No. That couldn’t be it, right? The man had complimented him so many times throughout the day… but maybe he was lying. Maybe he was just saying whatever he thought his boyfriend wanted to hear. What other reason could there be for Hongjoong having to be forced to touch the black haired man? Forced to kiss him. Forced to give him an orgasm. Forced to allow Seonghwa to give him one too. 

He suddenly felt very sick and lurched off of the couch, holding his stomach as he navigated to the guest bathroom, emptying the contents of his stomach just as soon as he fell to the floor. Too much alcohol blending in with the sickening feeling of his realization and his lack of self worth made for an awful cocktail. The alcohol only helped in furthering how miserable Hwa felt. Not just physically, but emotionally. 

Suddenly everything he had done felt so stupid. To travel across the world for a chance with someone that had inadvertently changed his entire trajectory in life. It was stupid. He was stupid. The tears that fell were stupid too. 

“Hwa?”

Hongjoong’s voice rang out in the living room, but Seonghwa barely registered it. He had made a lot of mistakes in his life, but this one was so high on his radar. He pushed himself away from the toilet and pressed his back against the wall, shaky and pale, with tears creating a small pond in his eyes while the tracks of the previous tears painted pale lines down his cheeks. 

“Hwa?” 

His boyfriend spoke again, closer, but Seonghwa didn’t call out. He wanted to go to sleep. He felt horrible and the alcohol was only fueling all of his self deprecating thoughts. His eyes slowly slid closed.

“Babe? Holy shit, are you okay?” Hongjoong was kneeling next to the black haired man, and the singer wondered how much time had passed when he closed his eyes. 

“I’m not.” The words were mumbled as he slumped over into Hongjoong. 

“I’ll say. Come on sweetheart, let’s get you into bed, yeah? Too much eggnog.” There was a small laugh in the salesman’s voice, but Seonghwa didn’t feel like laughing. 

“Need to go home.” He mumbled his words again, feeling the weight of the night’s events taking their full toll on him. He was suddenly so exhausted. 

“You can go home tomorrow, baby, you’re clearly not in good enough shape to be driving. So come on, you’ll stay here tonight and you can drive home tomorrow when you don’t have so much freaking eggnog in your system.” A few seconds later, Seonghwa was on his feet, unsure of how he had gotten there. He overheard Hongjoong mumbling something about Jongho and nonalcoholic eggnog. 

The last thing he remembered was Hongjoong helping him out of his clothes, and pushing the singer down onto his bed before a blanket was thrown over him. He was pretty sure he felt a whisper of lips against his forehead, but then he was out. 

The next morning he woke with a groan as a light beam stabbed him right in the eye. He turned onto his side to try and get away from it, finding a warm body next to his instead, snuggling into it. 

“Morning, Hwa.” A sleepy Hongjoong voice greeted him, and Seonghwa shook his head in protest. He didn’t want to wake up, he wanted to stay asleep. 

Hongjoong must have noticed something on his face, or just the simple shake of his head, because he giggled and ran his hand through the man’s hair. “I have to go to work in like four hours, so I need to get up. Come on beautiful.” Another press of lips against his forehead made Hwa sigh happily. It felt familiar. Like it had happened - 

The previous night’s events mostly returned to him and shot up in the bed, cringing at the pain that throbbed through his head. “Hongjoong, I’m so sorry!” He turned to face the man, finding him still laying down with an arm over his eyes and his hair messed up. He was wearing a black tank top, and for the first time, Seonghwa noticed the tattoo on his upper arm. 

Hongjoong cracked an eye open and pulled his arm up just enough to see Seonghwa. “For what?”

The idol looked away, frowning. “For my actions last night. I’m sorry. I-I forced you into something you-you weren’t ready fo-for.”

Silence met his apology but then Hongjoong was there by his side, rubbing his back. “Babe, you don’t have anything to apologize for. What? You didn’t force me. I could have stopped you at any time. I didn’t, because I wanted… I wanted you.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes landed on Hongjoong, confusion and shock on his face. He wanted him? But… Why had he disappeared for so long? 

“Don’t look so surprised.” The brown haired man laughed. “Please do remember that I’ve had a massive crush on you for years now.” He chuckled. 

“But you-you left. You didn’t come back.” Hwa pouted. 

Hongjoong’s face morphed into one of confusion himself, but then realization dawned on him and he pulled the black haired man closer into a hug. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to… I was freaking out.” He sounded unsure of himself. 

“Freaking out? Why?” Because he had fucked up of course. That was why Hongjoong had freaked out. 

“I mean…” The brown haired man pulled away, a hand going to the back of his neck as he rubbed it. Seonghwa had been around him enough to know it was a nervous habit. “We… we did what we did.” Hwa noticed that Joong wasn’t making eye contact anymore. “And I was… yeah. It was a um, a lot to wrap my head around.” He quickly turned to look at the idol, eyes large. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t like it though, cause I really did, I’m just still shocked that it happened.” Joong laughed.

That made more sense though, to Hwa. It helped to push all of his self deprecating fears away, at least for the time being. “I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have gone that far. It was too fast for you.”

A strange look appeared on Joong’s face, but then quickly disappeared. Seonghwa didn’t know what it was or what was going through the salesman’s head. 

“It wasn’t.” Hongjoong finally spoke. “I just… every new thing we do takes a little bit for me to accept. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just… you’re you. I’ve…” again he looked away. “I’ve fantasized about-about stuff like-like…” he went quiet, unable to finish his sentence. 

Seonghwa felt his cheeks turning red, but it also made his heart pound in excitement. Suddenly he felt a surge of confidence as he smirked. “Really? Well maybe I should make more of those fantasies into a reality for you.”

Hongjoong choked on air and quickly scrambled out of his bed, much to the idol’s amusement. 

“Y-yeah, um, yes. One day.” He was nodding his head with every word and averting his gaze from the singer. “I should um, get us breakfast. You like cereal?” The brown haired man ran out of the room. 

Seonghwa laughed, the biggest smile on his face as he fell back onto the bed and cuddled up against Hongjoong’s pillow, holding it against his chest as he breathed the man’s scent in. He had been so silly to think that Hongjoong didn’t want him or suddenly found him unattractive. Maybe they needed to slow down their activities though, because clearly things were moving too quickly for the brown haired man. Seonghwa thought it might be best to let the salesman set the pace, but then he had let him do that before and they were getting nowhere fast. He’d just have to see how it went over the next several weeks. 

Besides, he would soon have a perfect distraction in the form of AURAGE coming to visit him. They were set to arrive in a week and two days!

⧭

Over the next week Seonghwa was able to regain his confidence, though he still remained rather impatient to move things to the next level. Which in turn made him feel bad. He didn’t think of himself as some sort of sex fiend, and had only ever been with two other people in his entire life, but Hongjoong had awoken a deep burning fire he never knew existed. At times it worried him, because he didn’t want their relationship to be based on sex and nothing else. He saw Hongjoong again the following Sunday and Thursday, and kept his hands to himself out of respect and that worry that gnawed at his stomach. That Thursday he finally decided to tell his boyfriend about AURAGE’s imminent visit. 

The air was crisp, the scent of pine heavy around them as Seonghwa and Hongjoong wandered through rows of evergreens at the Christmas tree farm. Snow dusted the branches and crunched beneath their boots, giving everything an almost magical quality. They were wrapped up in scarves and coats, Seonghwa’s cheeks pink from the cold, and maybe a bit from the anticipation of sharing his news.

“Soooo, I’m going to be really busy next week,” Seonghwa began, breaking the comfortable silence as they passed by a particularly full, fragrant tree. He cast a quick glance at Hongjoong, watching as his boyfriend’s eyes lit up with curiosity.

“Oh yeah? Something going on?” Hongjoong asked, his tone casual, though Seonghwa could feel the interest in his gaze.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa replied, his voice tinged with excitement. “AURAGE is coming to visit.”

Hongjoong froze mid step, blinking as he processed the words. “Wait… like, all of them?” His voice rose a little with excitement, and Seonghwa had to bite back a smile at how endearing his reaction was.

“All of them,” Seonghwa confirmed, nodding. “They’re flying in for a few days so we can catch up. It’s been a long time since we were all together.” He paused, squeezing Hongjoong’s hand lightly. “And… they want to meet you, too.”

Hongjoong’s expression shifted from excitement to something that looked like a mix of thrill and nervousness. “They want to meet me?” He repeated, almost as if he couldn’t believe it. “I mean, I met them before… but that was just, you know, as a fan.”

“I know,” Seonghwa said gently, still holding his hand. “But this is different. They know how important you are to me, and they’re excited to get to know you beyond just a fan meet and greet. You’re family now.” He looked up, giving Hongjoong a warm, reassuring smile. “You don’t have to worry, they’ll love you.”

Hongjoong chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair as he looked down at the snow covered ground, still processing. Seonghwa could see the excitement in his eyes, though, as they began to walk again, moving slowly between the rows of trees.

“Honestly, if someone told me a year ago that I’d be introducing you to AURAGE like this,” Seonghwa said with a laugh, “I wouldn’t have believed it myself.”

“I still barely believe this,” Hongjoong raised their joined hands with a chuckle, “so trust me I get it.” 

The two continued past a few more trees before Hongjoong stopped in front of one. A full and vibrant tree that might be too large for his home. “When are they going to be here?”

“They fly in on Sunday and will be here until Saturday.” Seonghwa was so excited for their visit. He missed his brothers dearly, and to have them with him for nearly a full week was a blessing that he would never be able to repay. 

“Wow, that’s right around the corner.” Hongjoong chuckled again, and then looked at Seonghwa. “I think this tree would look great in your place. In the living room you never use.”

The idol raised an eyebrow before he finally set his eyes properly on the tree. He hadn’t thought of decorating his own home, but now he could envision it. A big beautiful tree, in the downstairs living room that the realtor had called a “den”, not in his unused living room upstairs. He could picture himself and Hongjoong sitting near it while it danced fairy lights across the room. It was a perfect image. “I think you’re right, but downstairs, not upstairs.” He laughed. “Okay, I will get a tree and you will get a tree. We will both have beautiful trees for our homes this year.” And his brothers could help him decorate it. 

⧭

The day that AURAGE arrived, Seonghwa sat in the small regional airport for two hours before his brother's plane finally landed. He knew they were likely to be tired and jet lagged, but was also aware they had gotten very good at sleeping on the plane during super long flights. Wooyoung seemed to always have boundless amounts of energy, no matter the time or what activity he had just partook in. Seonghwa was so excited to see his best friends again. He missed them so much, and while he kept up with AURAGE, it just wasn't the same. A lot of his free time was spent in reflection. Following AURAGE'S journey made him wonder if it was how fans felt. Though he had the added advantage of being able to call, text and FaceTime the idol's whenever he wanted. Well, for the most part. They did have a busy schedule and the time zone difference was insane. 

A sixteen hour difference was very hard to adjust to. 

Seonghwa looked down at his phone as it vibrated, seeing a text message from Wooyoung telling him they had landed. The idol's heart raced with excitement. Within the next twenty minutes, he would be with his brothers again. 

He tried to remain still and patient, and moved to the gate once Woo let him know they were exiting the plane. Minutes passed before people began walking out of the gate. A few families, solitary people that looked happy to be home, and then there they were. 

AURAGE was in Montrose, Colorado. 

Wooyoung led the charge with San behind him and Yunho and Mingi walking as a pair behind the two man line in front of them. They all spotted their previous leader at the same second and Wooyoung bull rushed past the other people, barreling into Hwa. “Seonghwa!!!” His screech was so high pitched that some people turned to stare at the noise violation. 

Seonghwa was too overjoyed to care. He gripped his friend in a tight hug, a huge smile on his face. He could feel tears prickling his eyes and didn't care about that either. “Wooyoungie, I've missed you so much!” He squeezed the shorter man closer. Hwa became aware of San's presence as he wrapped his arms around the pair. 

“My Hwa!” He yelled too, squeezing the pair in a death grip. 

“Oh careful.” Wooyoung pulled his head out of the singer’s neck to look around. “The boyfriend isn't with you is he?”

“No?” Seonghwa stared at the younger man with a raised brow. 

“Oh good. Okay nevermind Sannie, call Hwa yours.”

The trio laughed just as Mingi and Yunho reached them. Hwa was shuffled around like a hot potato, going from one member to the other to give and receive hugs. Their reunion was filled with laughter and tears, and old inside jokes. 

Two hours later they were all safely squared away in Seonghwa's home and were sitting in his dining room enjoying a delicious meal they had all cooked together. 

“So when do we meet this Hongjoong?” Mingi spoke up as he refused a bite of food from Wooyoung.

“Yeah, where is the Mystery Man that hooked our Radiant?” Wooyoung grinned before wolfing down the bite he had offered to Mingi. 

Seonghwa finished off his own bite and took a sip of water before answering. “He's at his parent's house right now. They wanted help decorating their home for Christmas.”

“That's nice of him.” San chimed in. 

“He's a very nice and thoughtful person.” The singer nodded his head. “As for when you guys get to meet him, that's up to you all. He's not off work again until Thursday. However, he doesn't go to work until twelve Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.” Seonghwa recalled Hongjoong’s schedule off the top of his head and didn't think anything of it. Though his friends stared at him with knowing smiles on their faces. 

“What?” He questioned, looking from one to the other. 

“You know his schedule just like that?” Yunho chuckled. 

“Yes?” Hwa was still confused. Why wouldn't he know his boyfriend's schedule? 

“Awww is Hwa in love?” Woo grinned as he leaned closer. 

“What? No! It's way too early for that.” Though the black haired man would be lying if he said he didn't feel very strongly for Joong. It was a feeling that had taken root after meeting him at the concert and only grew and sprouted since finding Hongjoong in Montrose. The roots were deep and the flowers were beginning to bloom. He knew that he was heading towards the big L word, he just didn't think he was fully there yet. He was kind of scared of it anyway. Unsure of how Hongjoong would handle that word and emotion.  

The teasing didn’t stop there. Wooyoung, ever the instigator, gasped dramatically and turned to the others, pointing at Seonghwa like he’d uncovered a scandal. “Did you hear that? He said it’s “too early.” Not “no way", just too early. That means he’s definitely on the love train.”

San clapped his hands together, grinning. “My Hwa, in love? I knew this day would come!” He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. “Our baby bird is all grown up.”

“Baby bird?” Seonghwa raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m older than you, Sannie.”

“That doesn’t matter. You’re still our Radiant,” Mingi chimed in with a warm smile. “And from what I’m hearing, this Hongjoong guy might just be your moon.”

Seonghwa blinked, his heart skipping a beat at the unexpected metaphor. “My… moon?” he echoed, his voice quieter.

Mingi shrugged, his tone casual but sincere. “Yeah. You’ve always been our light, hyung. The one who keeps us grounded, who makes everything brighter. It sounds like Hongjoong does that for you now. Maybe he’s your balance.”

Wooyoung leaned in, grinning mischievously. “And your boyfriend. Don’t forget that part. You’re whipped.”

“I am not whipped,” Seonghwa protested, though his cheeks were steadily turning pink.

Yunho, who had been watching quietly with a soft smile, finally spoke up. “It’s okay to feel strongly about him, Hwa. It’s written all over you. And you deserve to feel that way, after everything you’ve been through.”

Seonghwa’s protests died on his lips, the warmth of his friends’ words settling in his chest. He fiddled with his water glass, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “He does make me happy,” he admitted softly, glancing up at them.

Wooyoung grinned like he’d just won a prize. “There it is! The confession!”

“It’s not a confession,” Seonghwa shot back, though there was no bite in his voice. “I just… I didn’t expect to feel this way. Not so soon, anyway.”

The room grew quiet for a moment, the teasing ebbing into something more reflective. San reached over to place a hand on Seonghwa’s, his expression uncharacteristically serious. “You deserve to be happy, Hwa. And if this Hongjoong makes you happy, then we’re all on board. We can’t wait to meet him.”

Seonghwa looked around at his friends, his brothers, and felt a surge of gratitude. Despite the miles and time that had separated them, their bond was as strong as ever. And now, with Hongjoong in his life, he realized how much fuller his world had become.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, his voice filled with emotion. “All of you.”

Wooyoung, never one to let a moment stay too serious for too long, leaned back in his chair with a grin. “Of course. Just wait until we grill him. Boyfriend or not, he’s gotta pass the AURAGE test.”

Seonghwa groaned, but he couldn’t help laughing as the others joined in. Deep down, though, he knew Hongjoong would pass their “test” with flying colors, because to Seonghwa, he was already perfect.

⧭

The next morning, Seonghwa’s house buzzed with quiet excitement as the AURAGE members scattered across the main floor, each armed with a box of Christmas decorations. A playlist of soft holiday tunes played from a speaker in the corner, filling the air with festive cheer. Outside the window, the snow covered yard added a picturesque backdrop to their efforts.

“Alright, hyungs and me,” Wooyoung announced, dramatically waving a garland like it was a ribbon in a gymnastics routine. “Let’s turn this place into a Christmas wonderland. It needs to look like Santa Klaus puked on it.”

“You mean let’s try not to break anything,” Yunho said with a pointed look, though his lips curved into an amused smile as he carried a box of ornaments toward the electric fireplace.

“I vote we make Hwa’s elliptical festive,” Mingi chimed in, wrapping a string of tinsel around his neck like a scarf.

Seonghwa, who was arranging small table decorations in the living room, shot him a glare but couldn’t suppress a laugh. “Please don’t. It’s bad enough I have to look at that thing every day, I don’t need it reminding me I skipped my workout.”

As they worked, small bursts of laughter echoed through the house. Wooyoung tried (and failed) to balance a snowman figurine on the banister. San carefully positioned a wreath above the fireplace, stepping back to admire his handiwork. Mingi, to no one’s surprise, accidentally knocked over a stack of garlands but managed to turn it into a joke, much to everyone’s amusement.

Once the main floor was draped in garlands, twinkling lights, and cheerful ornaments, Seonghwa led the group downstairs to the den, where the real Christmas tree he had picked out with Hongjoong the week before stood waiting in its stand.

“This is the part that matters,” Seonghwa said, clapping his hands together as the group gathered around. “We need to make it look amazing.”

“I didn’t even know people still bought real trees,” Wooyoung said, leaning in to inspect the branches. “It smells like a forest in here.”

“That’s the point,” Seonghwa replied, a small smile playing at his lips. “It’s my first real tree, and it felt… right.”

“You’re so sentimental, hyung,” San teased, though he couldn’t hide his own smile as he carefully fluffed a branch. “Alright, let’s make this tree worthy of a holiday photoshoot.”

Mingi and Yunho worked together to drape the strings of lights evenly around the tree, while Wooyoung dove into the box of ornaments, holding each one up for approval with exaggerated flair. San took charge of the ribbon, weaving it expertly through the branches, adding just the right amount of shimmer.

As they worked, the scent of pine filled the room, mingling with the soft strains of Christmas music playing from a speaker on the entertainment center. Every so often, someone cracked a joke or teased another about their decorating skills, the room alive with laughter and warmth.

“Hyung,” Mingi called, holding up a sparkling silver ornament shaped like a star. “This one feels very ‘Radiant.’ Should it go front and center?”

“Of course,” Wooyoung said before Seonghwa could answer, taking the ornament and hanging it prominently near the top of the tree. “It’s symbolic. Seonghwa is our star, after all.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes, though a blush crept into his cheeks. “Let’s just make sure it’s balanced.”

When the lights were strung, the ribbons placed, and the ornaments hung with care, they all stepped back to admire their work. The tree stood tall and glowing, its branches heavy with sparkling decorations. The star shaped topper, a golden piece that Seonghwa had picked out specifically, completed the look, casting a warm light over the room.

“It’s perfect,” Yunho said, nodding in approval.

“Very ‘Seonghwa,’” San added with a grin. “Elegant, thoughtful, and just a little extra.”

“Hey,” Seonghwa protested, though his smile gave him away. He glanced at the tree, his heart swelling with quiet pride. It felt like the kind of Christmas he’d always imagined but never quite experienced before.

As they settled onto the sectional and recliners, steaming mugs of hot chocolate in hand, the tree cast a soft, warm glow over the room. 

“To Seonghwa’s first real tree,” Wooyoung said, raising his mug in a toast. “And to us for making it look this good.”

“To new traditions,” Yunho added, his voice steady with warmth.

“To the magic of Christmas,” Mingi said, holding up his mug with exaggerated drama.

Laughter bubbled through the room as Seonghwa leaned back in his seat, his gaze drifting to the glowing tree. For the first time in years, the holidays felt more than just a passing season: they felt like home.

⧭

Seonghwa gripped the steering wheel as the car wound along the mountain road, snow dusted pines flanking either side. Yunho sat in the passenger seat, glancing out at the landscape with quiet admiration, while the back seat buzzed with activity. Wooyoung was wedged between San and Mingi, gesturing animatedly as he narrated a dramatic tale of how he “saved the day” during their last group trip.

“You tripped over a bush,” San corrected, leaning his head against the frosted window. “I had to grab your jacket before you rolled into the creek.”

“Details, details,” Wooyoung replied, waving him off. “The point is, we survived. Because of me.”

Mingi smirked, nudging him. “You’re our hero, maknae.”

“Thank you!” Wooyoung exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “Finally, some respect.”

Seonghwa chuckled softly from the driver’s seat. The camaraderie was familiar, comforting, but it still felt a little surreal to be driving his old group through Montrose instead of sitting in a studio or a van en route to a performance. Glancing at Yunho, who was scrolling through his phone with a small smile, Seonghwa spoke up.

“Almost there,” he said. “You’re going to love this place.”

“It looks amazing already,” Yunho replied, nodding toward the snow dusted cliffs rising in the distance. “Do you come here often?”

“Not often,” Seonghwa admitted, his voice softening. “But it’s special. My first date with Joong was at this park, so it reminds me of him.” A deep blush crept onto his cheeks and he averted his gaze from all the eyes he could feel on him.

A quiet murmur of understanding passed through the car. In the back, San gave Wooyoung a look that clearly said don’t ruin this, and for once, Wooyoung remained quiet, though his grin lingered.

When they arrived, the group piled out of the car, the cold mountain air biting at their cheeks. The canyon stretched out before them, vast and breathtaking. The sheer cliffs plunged into the gorge below, their snow covered edges stark against the brilliant blue sky.

“Wow,” Mingi breathed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “This is unreal.”

“It’s like stepping into another world,” Yunho added, his tone quiet as he stared at the view.

Seonghwa watched their reactions, a small smile tugging at his lips. He’d felt the same awe the first time he’d come here with Hongjoong. That memory flickered in his mind now, warming him against the chill. It had been much warmer that day, and snow didn’t glisten all around them as it did in the sunlight of the early morning in December. 

“Let’s get some pictures!” Wooyoung announced, breaking the momentary silence as he pulled out his phone. “Hwa, you’re in charge of making sure we don’t fall off the edge while we pose.”

“I’ll consider it,” Seonghwa teased, earning a playful shove from Wooyoung.

The group laughed and posed for photos, their breath visible in the cold air. Seonghwa, ever the perfectionist, insisted on adjusting everyone’s scarves for symmetry, while Wooyoung attempted to balance precariously on a rock for the “perfect angle.” Mingi, meanwhile, tried to capture candid shots of everyone else, though he was quickly caught and dragged into the photos himself.

They spent a good hour at the national park, walking similar paths and trails to the one that Hongjoong had taken him on during their first date. The sights were just as impressive and meaningful as they had been all those months ago. Seonghwa found pleasure in the fact that he had now made memories in the canyon with his boyfriend, and his brothers. It made the Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park so much more magical and majestic than it already was.  

By the time they returned to the car, noses red from the cold, everyone was ready for something warm. Seonghwa drove them into town, stopping at a cozy café with wooden beams and holiday decorations strung across the ceiling. They claimed a table near the window, steaming mugs of hot chocolate and coffee arriving quickly.

“This place is nice,” Yunho said, taking a sip of his drink. “It suits you, Hwa.”

Seonghwa smiled. “I come here sometimes. It’s quiet, and they have the best chai tea.”

“Should we be worried?” Wooyoung asked, narrowing his eyes playfully. “You’re starting to sound like a local.”

San smirked. “I’m waiting for him to start wearing flannel.”

“Hey,” Seonghwa protested, though his grin gave him away. “I like it here. It’s… peaceful. And I could totally pull off flannel if I wanted to.” He joked with a big smile on his face. 

The others exchanged glances, their teasing softening into something more understanding. It was clear to all of them that Seonghwa had found a kind of peace in this new life, something that had eluded him for years. Perhaps none of them could see themselves settling down in the quiet reverie of such a town, but it was exactly what their Radiant needed, a place for the soul to heal and find comfort in the simplicities of life. 

Later that evening, after the laughter and warmth of the day with AURAGE, Seonghwa found himself on the deck outside his house. The chill of the night air nipped at his cheeks, but he barely noticed. The snow covered yard glistened under the moonlight, and the stars above seemed to stretch endlessly.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled to Hongjoong’s name. His thumb hovered for only a second before he hit “Call.” The dial tone hummed once, twice, and then a soft, familiar voice filled the line.

“Hey, Hwa.”

Seonghwa’s lips curved into a smile. “Hi, Joongie. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“Never,” Hongjoong replied quickly, his voice warm. “What’s up?”

Seonghwa leaned against the wooden railing, the cold biting through his sweater. “I just wanted to hear your voice,” he admitted softly, his breath visible in the night air. “Today was… a lot, and it reminded me of you.”

“Me? What did I do?” Hongjoong asked, a playful lilt in his tone.

“Well, I took the guys to the Black Canyon,” Seonghwa began, glancing up at the stars. “Not the same trail we went on, though. But it still felt like… us. It made me think about that first date.”

There was a soft hum on the other end, and Seonghwa could almost see Hongjoong smiling. “That was a good day,” Hongjoong said, his voice quieter now. “We were so nervous. I thought I might bolt when I pulled out the picnic.”

“I was nervous too,” Seonghwa admitted with a laugh. “But not because I wanted to leave. I just… I couldn’t believe I was there with you, holding your hand, watching you smile. You made everything feel so easy, Joong.”

“That’s funny,” Hongjoong replied, chuckling. “Because I felt the same way. I couldn’t believe you were there with me, Seonghwa, Park Seonghwa. My bias, my idol… and now, my boyfriend.” There was a tinge of seriousness, disbelief and happiness in his voice. 

The word sent a warmth through Seonghwa that no amount of cold could chase away. He rested his chin on his hand, closing his eyes as he spoke. “Do you know how much you mean to me, Joong?”

“I think I’m starting to get an idea,” Hongjoong teased, though his voice softened immediately. “But I don’t mind hearing it.”

“You’re everything,” Seonghwa said, his tone earnest, serious and a bit heavy. “You’re the reason I’m here, the reason I can smile like this. Today, walking through the canyon with the guys, I kept thinking about how lucky I was to walk that trail with you first. How lucky I am to have you in my life.”

There was a pause, and Seonghwa worried for a moment that he’d said too much, a nervous itch developing. But then Hongjoong spoke, his voice thick with emotion. “You always know how to say the perfect thing, baby. You make me feel like… like I matter. Like I’m enough.”

Baby. It was the first time Seonghwa had ever been called that before (to his knowledge, as he certainly didn’t remember when Hongjoong had used the term the night of the infamous eggnog fiasco). Agi was the Korean translation, and sure he’d been called that before in the heat of the moment the first time he’d ever had sex with someone, but that was it. He knew that the word could be used as a term of endearment, and it made him fly straight into the clouds. He had to collect himself before he was able to speak, but when he did, it was with conviction. 

“You are,” Seonghwa said firmly, his voice unwavering. “You’re more than enough.”

Another pause, this one filled with warmth rather than hesitation. “One more day,” Hongjoong said finally, his tone brighter. “Then I get to see you again.”

“I can’t wait,” Seonghwa replied, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Hongjoong said softly. “I hope you took a lot of pictures. I want to see everything you guys did today.”

“Of course, I took quite a few, as did the rest of them.” The idol chuckled. “I’ll share some with you, but you have to promise me a seat next to you during movie night.” Seonghwa teased, grinning.

“It’s already yours,” Hongjoong replied without missing a beat. “Just make sure Wooyoung doesn’t cause too much trouble before I meet him.”

Seonghwa laughed, his heart even lighter than it had been at the canyon. “I’ll do my best. Sleep well, Joong.”

“You too, Hwa. Sweet dreams.”

As the call ended, Seonghwa slipped his phone back into his pocket, his heart full. The stars seemed to shine brighter, and for the first time in a long while, Seonghwa felt utterly content.

⧭

The morning started leisurely, with Seonghwa preparing a light breakfast of coffee, tea, and pastries for the group. The house was still quiet as the sunlight streamed through the large windows, the snow outside glinting like tiny crystals.

Wooyoung was the first to join him in the kitchen, his hair a mess from sleep and his sweatshirt slightly askew. “Hyung, why does it smell like a bakery exploded in here?”

Seonghwa grinned, setting a plate of croissants on the table. “I thought I’d make something warm to start the day. You looked like you needed it.”

“You’re the best,” Wooyoung muttered, grabbing a croissant and taking a large bite before he hugged Seonghwa. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Holiday market,” Seonghwa replied, pouring himself a cup of tea. “It’s small but charming, and I thought it’d be nice to get out and see a bit more of the town.”

By the time everyone else joined them, the house was filled with the sound of laughter and the clinking of mugs. They were all informed of the plans for the day, and everyone seemed excited about the idea of getting back out there and seeing more of Montrose. The holiday market sounded fun and festive, and the whole group was ready to explore it. Yunho, ever the responsible one, made sure everyone was bundled up properly before they headed out into the cold.

The holiday market sprawled across the town square, a collection of charming wooden stalls nestled together beneath strings of warm, golden lights that twinkled like stars in the early winter afternoon. The air was alive with the hum of chatter and the occasional burst of laughter, blending with the gentle melodies of a nearby group of carolers. Their harmonized voices drifted on the crisp air, weaving together familiar Christmas tunes that made the whole space feel like something out of a storybook.

Snow, freshly fallen from the night before, crunched softly underfoot, creating a patchwork of frosty white and cobblestone paths. The scent of roasted chestnuts and caramelized sugar wafted through the market, mingling with the sharp, refreshing pine of handmade wreaths and garlands that adorned the stalls. A stall nearby offered steaming mugs of mulled cider and hot chocolate, the spices filling the air with notes of cinnamon and clove.

Each stall seemed to hold a little piece of magic. Some displayed rows of delicate ornaments, their surfaces glinting in the light, each one telling its own story. Others offered handmade soaps wrapped in festive paper, jars of honey harvested from local hives, or candles infused with scents like evergreen and vanilla.

Everywhere, there was color: the bright reds and greens of holiday banners strung between stalls, the golden glow of lanterns perched on tabletops, and the occasional pop of vibrant knit scarves and hats on the bustling crowd. The market radiated a kind of cozy chaos, each element blending together to create an atmosphere that was both lively and inviting.

In the corner of the square, a small group of artisans worked on site, their hands crafting wooden toys, painting ornaments, or knitting scarves as passersby stopped to watch. A faint jingling sound could be heard from time to time—bells hanging from the collars of passing dogs bundled in tiny holiday sweaters.

“This is adorable,” San remarked, pulling his scarf tighter as he scanned the bustling market. “We need to do this more often.”

“Agreed,” Yunho said, his breath visible in the cold air. “Let’s split up and meet back here in an hour. We can explore and maybe find something special.”

Seonghwa wandered through the stalls, his heart light as he admired handmade ornaments, festive candles, and local treats. It wasn’t long before Wooyoung caught up with him, dragging him toward a stand selling matching holiday sweaters.

“Hyung, we need to get these for the group,” Wooyoung declared, holding up a bright red sweater emblazoned with a cartoon reindeer. “Imagine us all wearing these when we meet Hongjoong. Iconic.”

Seonghwa laughed, shaking his head. “He’s going to think we’re insane.”

“Exactly,” Wooyoung said, his grin mischievous. “We’ll make the best first impression.”

Meanwhile, Mingi and San discovered a stall selling carved wooden keepsakes. Mingi picked up a small snowflake ornament and turned to San. “Should we get something for Hongjoong? Like a welcome gift?”

San nodded thoughtfully, selecting a heart shaped ornament. “This one. It’s simple but meaningful.”

Yunho found Seonghwa a little while later, holding a cup of hot cider. “You’re doing well,” Yunho said softly, his tone warm. “This feels like your kind of place.”

“It is,” Seonghwa admitted, his gaze drifting to a stall selling miniature potted evergreens. “It’s nice to slow down and just… be.”

Yunho nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I think Hongjoong will feel the same way when he sees how happy you are here in Montrose”

⧭

Back at the house, the group gathered in the den, warming up with cups of tea and cocoa as they admired their market finds. Wooyoung was already unboxing the matching sweaters, gleefully assigning colors to everyone.

“Red for you, Sannie,” he declared. “Green for Mingi. Blue for Yunho. And Hwa gets white because he’s the most angelic.”

“Angelically annoyed,” Seonghwa quipped, though he accepted the sweater with a laugh.

As they chatted, Seonghwa found himself reflecting on the bond they still shared, even after everything that had changed. These moments of lighthearted chaos were a reminder of why they had worked so well as a group, and why he was so eager for them to meet Hongjoong.

Later that night, after the others had retired to their rooms, Seonghwa stayed up, sitting by the tree in the den. The lights cast a soft glow, and he couldn’t help but feel a mix of anticipation and nerves about the next day.

A buzz from his phone told him he had received a text message.

Joongie Jagi💜:
How was the day with the boys? Did you all do anything fun?

Seonghwa:
Hi Joongie! 🥰 I took them out to the holiday market. They had a lot of fun, and Wooyoung insisted on buying matching holiday sweaters. I’m warning you now, he intends for us to wear them tomorrow when they meet you.

Joongie Jagi💜:
LOL oh god matching Christmas sweaters? I can’t wait to see this!

Seonghwa:
How did I know you’d be excited for this? lol
He chose different colors for each of us too. I don’t know what to do with him sometimes. 

Joongie Jagi💜:
Oh? What color did he choose for you?

Seonghwa:
White. Supposedly I’m angelic. 

Joongie Jagi💜:
There’s no argument from me on that remark. It’s the truth!

The singer blushed as he read Hongjoong’s comment, a funny feeling in his stomach as he felt true bliss.

Seonghwa:
Stop making me blush, I probably look like Rudolph right now if it was his cheeks that turned red and not his nose.

Joongie Jagi💜:
I like it when you blush, so I don’t think I’ll stop.

Seonghwa:
They’re really excited to meet you. Probably as excited as I am to see you tomorrow.

Joongie Jagi💜:
I’m excited too.
Excited and terrified. lol

Seonghwa:
Don’t be, they’ll adore you. Just as I do.

Joongie Jagi💜:
I see you’re trying to make me blush. I guess that’s only fair.
I miss you.

Seonghwa:
I miss you too!
I can’t wait to see you!

Joongie Jagi💜:
Your place right? Tomorrow at 4?

Seonghwa:
That’s right!

Joongie Jagi💜:
Have you talked to them about meeting Yeosang yet?

Seonghwa:
Not yet, but I’m going to bring it up tomorrow after they meet you. I want to ease them into it all.

Joongie Jagi💜:
That makes sense.
I’ll see you tomorrow then, baby. 💙

Chapter Text

“Okay Joong, I’m kind of drunk so bear with me and take a deep breath.” Yeosang sounded so tired, but at least he was trying to help his friend. 

Hongjoong woke up Thursday morning with a mixture of excitement and nervousness playing like fire in his veins. Meeting AURAGE, not just as a Halo, but as Park Fucking Seonghwa’s boyfriend who also happened to be a Halo was wild. What if they didn’t like him? What if they thought he was a loser? Hongjoong thought he was a loser, so it would only be fitting. Honestly he was mostly afraid that he’d fuck up, they wouldn’t like him, and Seonghwa would leave because his best friends didn’t approve. It was the closest thing the brown haired man was getting to meeting Seonghwa’s family, and he was Stressed with a capital S. He woke up way too early, and his stomach immediately started rolling. He forced himself to eat a breakfast heavy on the starch before he had his cup of coffee, hoping that it would all help to calm his insides. 

“Seonghwa really likes you. I think you need to get out of your head. I mean, if Wooyoung or San gave me a handjob, I’d be over the moon. Why are you not over the moon? Why are you freaking out so badly over something so phenomenal?”

After breakfast Hongjoong headed for the gym, a place he very rarely visited, but needed to work out his nervous energy. He only stayed at the gym for about an hour before he grew bored of being boxed in with people who looked like walking statues. Back at home he ventured into his homemade studio to work more on the Christmas gift he was working on for Seonghwa. He had no idea what the man’s plans were for Christmas, but he hoped he’d be involved. The wannabe producer was very aware of how Christmas was celebrated in South Korea, and had a feeling that Seonghwa would want to spend the day with him, or at least Christmas Eve. Which was fine, as Joong’s own parents weren’t planning to do a huge gathering. Those were saved for every other year, to fall in line with the Western traditions. On opposite years though, his parents fell back on the traditions they grew up with, and it became a holiday spent together, celebrating their love. 

“Because I’m a fucking loser, Yeosang.” Hongjoong tried to keep his voice low, but his own emotions were threatening to make him louder and he didn’t want Seonghwa hearing his self admonishment. “He’s going to realize it. God, what if we sleep together and he thinks I’m horrible in bed and leaves me?”

Four hours passed by before Hongjoong knew it, and he felt he had gotten nowhere with his gift idea. He frowned at the computer screen, sighing before he finally stood up upon glancing at the time. He only had an hour to get ready and get to Seonghwa’s house. He couldn’t afford to be late either! What a horrible impression that would make. Then again, maybe being fashionably late was a good thing? No, he couldn’t take that chance. He knew Yunho and San were punctual. Mingi and Wooyoung though… well they might approve of him being late. It was too much of a mixed bag and he hated it. Still, he had no time to think of bullshit ideas either, as he stormed off to his bedroom to try and find something to wear. He had to dress to impress. First impressions were everything, and their very first impression of him would be his appearance. 

“Stop saying you’re a loser.” Yeosang growled. “I’m going to tell Seonghwa hyung that you’re being rude to yourself again. Joong, he’s fucking crazy about you. He’s not going to leave even if you do suck in bed. He doesn’t strike me as the type to want a relationship based purely on sex.”

Hongjoong adjusted the sleek black blazer draped over his slim shoulders, the sharp lines of the tailored fabric giving him an effortlessly polished look. Underneath, he wore a simple black shirt that clung softly to his frame, its understated design allowing the blazer to take center stage. His light wash jeans hugged his legs comfortably, striking a casual balance against the formality of the jacket. To complete the look, he laced up a pair of beige combat boots that added a rugged yet stylish touch, hinting at his laid back personality. The outfit was simple but undeniably put together, reflecting the mix of nerves and excitement buzzing through him as he prepared for the dinner. He checked himself over in the mirror, nodding as he straightened the blazer for the fortieth time. Checking his phone he sent a quick text to Seonghwa, telling the man that he was on his way, and double checking if he needed to bring anything with him. 

“Yeah, maybe. It’s still just so much. I don’t know how to handle this, Sangie. Literal fantasies coming true. How did I get this lucky?”

My Boyfriend:

No jagi, you don’t need to bring anything but your gorgeous self!
Please hurry before Wooyoung eats anymore sugar.

Hongjoong:
How much sugar has he already had? Should I be worried?
I’m leaving now babe, I’ll be there asap. 

Hongjoong tucked his phone into his pocket and headed out, feeling so empty handed. He should have gotten something to take with him. Should he have done flowers? But for who? The members? Seonghwa? God he felt so silly and stupid. He should have talked to Yeosang about it, but he hadn’t yet told his best friend that AURAGE was in Montrose. Considering he had no idea if they were going to want to meet another local Halo and his boyfriend, Hongjoong didn’t want to get Yeosang’s hopes up for nothing. So he kept it all quiet. Something he now regretted as he got into his Jeep and started the engine. Empty fucking handed. Was that going to be a bad first impression? Fuck! He couldn’t get the thought out of his head as he drove to Hwa’s house, but at least it kept the wiggling worms from focusing on all of the other reasons to be nervous about meeting four men that had shaped his adulthood. 

“You haven’t gotten lucky yet, and you won’t if you keep your head further up your ass than you could get inside of Seonghwa!” 

“Oh my god, Yeosang!” Hongjoong reeled from the man’s words, never having heard his best friend be so straightforward and… gross.

“I’m sorry. Sorry. I’m sleep deprived and buzzed. That was crass, and rude. I love you. I’m going to sleep. Stop being the way you’re being and come talk to me again when I’m not buzzed. I’ll have better advice then and not be an asshole. Love you so much hyung, you tiny loser. Goodnight!”

Pulling into the driveway of Seonghwa’s home, Hongjoong parked in front of the garage and remained in his nice cozy Jeep trying to breathe and get himself under control. It was not an easy task. After a few minutes of failure he tried something else. His eyes closed as he leaned back against the headrest. A sudden tapping on his passenger window though, had him cracking his eyes open after only a few seconds with them closed. On the other side of his Jeep stood Seonghwa, a white Christmas sweater on, overly large and fluffy with a cartoon reindeer in the center, fake Christmas string lights outlining its head. Hongjoong couldn’t help but smile at the beautiful man as he unlocked the doors.

Hwa smiled back and opened the door before he slid inside. “Hi. Nervous?” He immediately grabbed Hongjoong’s hand that was closest to him and gave it a squeeze. 

Despite the fact that Seonghwa’s hands were freezing, Joong felt warmer by the second just by having his hand held by his boyfriend. He chuckled lightly. “Am I that obvious?”

“I’ll say. You’ve been sitting out here for five minutes.” 

“Five minutes? Are you serious?” Hongjoong jumped and looked at the time on his dashboard. “Oh thank god, I thought I was late.”

Seonghwa laughed. “No, but you might have been if I hadn’t come out here to get you.”

The brown haired man winced. “Sorry, I was just trying to get myself under control. Do they know I’m here?”

“I don’t think so.” Hwa glanced out the window. “They’re working on dinner and I just happened to be in the living room when I saw you pull in. Though we might want to get inside because they’ll soon notice I’m gone. Wooyoung in particular is like a bloodhound and can sniff me out no matter where I go to hide.”

Hongjoong laughed and squeezed Seonghwa’s hand. “Alright, let’s go.”

Seonghwa waited for the other man to kill the engine before he got out of the Jeep and back into the cold. Hongjoong walked around the front of the vehicle and retook Hwa’s hand, who stopped him from going further. “They’re going to adore you, Joongie. They know how much you mean to me. Everything is going to be fine.” The black haired man leaned in and pressed  a chaste yet very welcome kiss to Hongjoong’s lips before leading the way inside. 

As they stepped through the front door, warmth and the unmistakable scent of spices and roasted vegetables enveloped Hongjoong, a stark contrast to the icy December air outside. The low hum of voices carried from the kitchen, mixed with the occasional clatter of pots and pans.

Seonghwa led him through the foyer, their hands still clasped as they slid out of their shoes. But before they could even reach the living room proper, a loud, dramatic gasp echoed from the doorway leading to the kitchen. 

“HE’S HERE!” Wooyoung’s voice rang out, unmistakably filled with exaggerated excitement. A moment later, the man himself came skidding into view, his black Christmas sweater complete with a cartoon Santa and sequins sparkling obnoxiously under the lights. “Everyone, look alive! The boyfriend has arrived!”

Hongjoong barely had time to process Wooyoung's antics before Mingi appeared behind him, a towering presence in a green sweater adorned with a grinning snowman. He grinned wide, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Wait, this is him? This is the guy you’ve been keeping from us?”

Seonghwa shot a warning glare to Mingi with a sour expression on his face as he rolled his eyes, but there was a twitch of a smile on his face. “Behave.” He demanded. 

Wooyoung ignored the warning entirely, apparently feeling it was only for Mingi and not him. That or he felt he was above the rules, which was what Hongjoong was banking on. The man marched right up to Hongjoong, hands on his hips as he stood and looked the salesman over from head to toe. “So what are your intentions with our Seonghwa?” His mock serious tone was betrayed by the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “And be honest. We’ll know if you lie.”

Before Hongjoong could answer, Wooyoung let out another loud gasp, his eyes zeroing in on Hongjoong’s outfit. “Wait, wait-this is what you wore to meet us? No Christmas sweater? Oh no. This is a crime. A crime , I tell you!”

“Wooyoung-” Seonghwa started, but it was too late.

Wooyoung spun dramatically to face Mingi. “Should we forgive him for this transgression, or do we force him into the emergency sweater?”

Mingi perked up. “The emergency sweater! It’s tradition!”

“There is no tradition!” Seonghwa snapped, looking more exasperated by the second.

“Of course there is,” Wooyoung argued, already disappearing downstairs and returning a moment later with a truly hideous sweater in hand. It was bright pink, covered in gaudy tinsel and blinking LED lights shaped like ornaments. “Behold, the initiation sweater!”

Hongjoong stared at it, wide eyed. “That… that can’t be real.”

“Oh, it’s real,” Mingi said solemnly, grinning ear to ear. “And you have to wear it. Right, Yunho?”

“Don’t drag me into this,” Yunho yelled back from the kitchen, still out of view.

Seonghwa stepped between Wooyoung and Hongjoong, snatching the sweater and throwing it onto his elliptical. “He’s not wearing that.”

“Boo!” Wooyoung pouted. “You’re no fun.”

“Thank god for that,” Hongjoong muttered under his breath, earning a soft laugh from Seonghwa.

“Fine, but the sweater scandal aside,” Wooyoung said, turning his attention back to Hongjoong, “I still need answers. What are your intentions with Seonghwa? Do you plan on breaking his heart? What’s your favorite color? And-oh! Do you like cats?”

Hongjoong blinked at the onslaught of questions. “Uh…” He was feeling quite overwhelmed but not actually threatened in the slightest. He knew Wooyoung and Mingi well enough from being a fan as long as he had been, to have expected exactly what he was getting. It was kind of endearing. However, before he could answer Wooyoung, Yunho’s voice barked out from the doorway. 

“Wooyoung!” Yunho called out as he stepped into the living room, his own sweater a muted navy blue with simple white snowflakes, a stark contrast to the chaotic designs his bandmates wore. “Can you not scare him off in the first five seconds?”

“Please!” Seonghwa muttered, wrapping his arm through Hongjoong’s own. 

“Scare him?!” Wooyoung looked scandalized, spinning to face Yunho. “I’m welcoming him. This is probably the most welcome he’s ever felt in his life.” 

Mingi suddenly clapped a heavy hand onto Hongjoong’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, man. We only haze the boyfriends a little bit.” His grin widened. “Just enough to make sure you’re cool. Though then again, you’re the first boyfriend Seonghwa’s ever had, so this is the first time we’ve ever had to haze someone.” His accent was much heavier than the other’s, Hongjoong noted (something he already knew) but he was able to follow what was being said as he smiled and nodded his head.

Seonghwa groaned. “Oh my god, tell me why I did this?” He gave a brief pause before he glared at Mingi. “Stop intimidating him before he runs back to his Jeep,” he said, giving Mingi a pointed look. “And Wooyoung, if you’re going to interrogate someone, at least let them sit down first.”

San finally appeared from the kitchen, carrying a tray of what might have been hot cocoa judging from the steam wafting from the mugs. His sweater was a bright red with a Christmas tree design on it. He set the tray down on the coffee table before he turned to greet Hongjoong. “Don’t mind them, they’re all idiots, but they mean well.”

“Hey!” Wooyoung shot back, offended. 

“San, don’t call us out like that,” Mingi added, feigning hurt.

Hongjoong couldn’t help but laugh, the tension in his chest easing just a little. This was chaos, sure, but it wasn’t malicious, it was the kind of chaos that only came from people who were comfortable enough to poke fun without crossing the line.

Yunho offered a warm smile and extended a hand. “Welcome to the madness,” he said. “It’s great to finally meet you, Hongjoong. Seonghwa’s told us a lot about you.”

Wooyoung gasped dramatically again. “Wait-he talks about him? You like him?” He put a hand to his chest as if wounded. “Hwa, I thought I was the only one you ever spoke fondly of.”

“Oh, please,” Seonghwa shot back, rolling his eyes as he sat down on the couch, pulling Hongjoong to sit beside him. “You’re lucky I tolerate you at all.”

“See? True love,” Wooyoung quipped, earning a laugh from Mingi and Yunho while San simply shook his head with a smile on his face. 

“Go, shoo, go finish cooking and leave me alone with my boyfriend.” Seonghwa moved to rest his head on Hongjoong’s shoulder, having to scoot down a bit to do so. 

“That’s it? We only got five seconds with him.” Wooyoung pouted. “I still need to ask more questions, he never told me what his intentions are with you.”

Seonghwa lifted a leg out and kicked Woo right in the butt, forcefully pushing the Agent of Chaos away. Wooyoung rubbed his backside with a frown, but it was clear he wasn’t actually offended. “Fine fine, I can see when I’m not wanted around. Come on boys, we have to go and cook for Mr. Hongjoong apparently.”

Yunho rolled his eyes and gave an apologetic smile to Seonghwa and Hongjoong. “Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes.” He corralled the rest of the group back into the kitchen, but not before Wooyoung ran back in and grabbed his mug of hot cocoa and promptly disappeared. 

As the sound of Wooyoung’s dramatic protests and Mingi’s booming laughter faded into the kitchen, the house finally fell quiet. The lingering warmth from the chaotic introductions hung in the air, but now, it was just the two of them in the cozy living room.

Hongjoong had gotten past the hardest part, and he had survived. It made him feel pretty good. Seeing the idols in the flesh and blood, and as just normal people that weren’t performing, and were dressed down in ugly Christmas sweaters had certainly helped. Hongjoong didn’t have the time to overthink the fact that he had just been teased by Wooyoung and Mingi, and welcomed so warmly by San and Yunho. It somehow felt normal and okay, which was funny considering he still couldn’t get past the fact that he was dating Seonghwa despite the many months that he’d had his idol in his life, in person. 

Seonghwa let out a soft sigh, still leaning against Hongjoong’s shoulder, his breath brushing warmly against Hongjoong’s neck, causing a shiver to shoot down the man’s spine.. “I told you they’d love you,” he murmured, his voice quiet but full of affection.

Hongjoong tilted his head slightly, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “I don’t know about ‘love,’ but they didn’t throw me out, so I’ll take it as a win.”

The black haired man chuckled softly, his hand finding Hongjoong’s. “Trust me, that’s Wooyoung’s way of saying he approves. If he didn’t, he’d still be out here badgering you instead of stealing hot cocoa.”

Hongjoong hummed in response, his thumb brushing gently over Seonghwa’s knuckles. “I can’t believe I was just teased by members of AURAGE.” He grinned, feeling so much more relaxed. “They care a lot about you.”

“And I care about you,” Seonghwa said softly, his head tilting slightly so he could look up at Hongjoong. His eyes sparkled like the tiny Christmas lights strung along the window behind them. “I knew they’d see what I see in you.”

The words sent a wave of warmth through Hongjoong, a blush creeping up his neck as he turned his gaze toward the fireplace to avoid Seonghwa’s eyes, heart hammering again. So much for feeling more relaxed. “You make me sound like I’m some kind of prince,” he muttered.

Seonghwa laughed softly, shifting to sit up straight so he could turn toward Hongjoong. He reached out, cupping Hongjoong’s cheek and guiding his face back toward him. “You don’t have to be a prince. You’re you, and that’s more than enough for me.”

The sincerity in Seonghwa’s voice made Hongjoong’s chest tighten, and before he could overthink it, he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Seonghwa’s lips. It was brief but tender, a silent thank you for all the reassurance Seonghwa had given him tonight. He had already known how amazing the idol was long before he ever met him, but the more time he spent with the man, the more he saw it in every single detail he explored. 

When they pulled apart, Seonghwa smiled again, his thumb brushing lightly against Hongjoong’s cheek. “I think we’ve earned a few quiet minutes before dinner,” he moved his head back down to Hongjoong’s shoulder, and wrapped his arms around the salesman’s middle. Hongjoong draped one arm over Hwa’s shoulders. “You look gorgeous by the way.” Hwa spoke against Joong’s neck. “Much better than I look in this sweater.”

“Nonsense, you can pull anything off, even ugly Christmas sweaters. I’m truly envious,” Hongjoong chuckled. For the first time that evening, Hongjoong felt the tension in his chest begin to melt away, replaced by the calm certainty that, somehow, this little piece of chaos and calm was exactly where he belonged.

⧭

Dinner came swiftly enough, Hongjoong settled into the seat Seonghwa pulled out for him, his boyfriend taking the spot beside him at the long wooden dining table. The scent of garlic, herbs, and roasted vegetables filled the room, making his mouth water despite the nervous knots still lingering in his stomach. He hadn’t eaten lunch as he had been so consumed with working on Seonghwa’s gift, so he was quite hungry and ready to dive into the meal before him. 

Before he could even pick up his chopsticks, Wooyoung leaned across the table with an exaggerated grin, his elbow knocking into Yunho’s glass of water. “So, Hongjoong,” he started, ignoring Yunho’s groan as the older man scrambled to save his drink. “On a scale of one to ten, how awkward was that first meeting with Seonghwa?”

“Wooyoung,” Seonghwa said sharply, narrowing his eyes.

“What? It’s a legitimate question!” Wooyoung defended, throwing his hands up dramatically. “I mean, we all know Hwa’s about as subtle as a foghorn when he’s smitten.”

Mingi nearly choked on his drink, bursting into laughter. “A foghorn, though? That’s a new one.”

Hongjoong blinked, caught off guard, before the corner of his mouth tugged upward, he could play along.. “I don’t know about a foghorn,” he said cautiously, “but he did tell me I was ‘devastatingly handsome’ within the first five minutes of talking.” Which was of course a giant lie, but it was a funny lie. 

Wooyoung howled with laughter. “Devastatingly handsome! Oh, that’s classic.”

“And not true!” Seonghwa groaned with a smile on his face. Thankfully he didn’t tell AURAGE how it was Hongjoong that had been horribly awkward and had to be sent to the back to gather his nerves before he passed out. 

Yunho, ever the diplomat, stepped in with a calming gesture. “Alright, Wooyoung, maybe let him eat before you start your interrogation?”

“Fine, fine,” Wooyoung relented, though his grin didn’t falter. “But only because I need to know if he’s actually cool enough to hang out with us. Mingi, what’s the initiation ritual again?”

Mingi rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I think it’s the one where we make him sing a random K pop song, right?”

Hongjoong’s eyes widened. “You’re joking, right?”

“Oh, definitely,” San deadpanned, his chopsticks poised over his plate. “Mingi can’t even sing on pitch, so we banned singing as an initiation.”

“Hey!” Mingi protested, looking genuinely offended. “I’ll have you know I’m perfectly on pitch… when I want to be.”

“Yeah, right,” Wooyoung shot back. “You sound like a dying walrus. Keep to the raps man!”

Mingi grabbed a dumpling off his plate and flung it at Wooyoung, who ducked, cackling as it hit Yunho square in the arm instead.

“Can you two not?” Yunho groaned, giving both of them a withering look.

Hongjoong was laughing so hard he had to set his chopsticks down, his earlier tension melting into the laughter that surrounded him. Poor Mingi. Joong enjoyed the few times Mingi sang in songs.

The whole table dissolved into laughter with him. The chaos was infectious, a whirlwind of jabs and banter that somehow felt inclusive rather than overwhelming. He had witnessed plenty of teasing between the boys over the years, but always through the lens of a camera. To see it in front of his face in real time, and be part of it too, was intense but oh so rewarding. There was never a time in his life when he would have thought he’d be sitting at a dinner table with five stars of such caliber, laughing and joking with them and dating one of the five! It was a dream that so many Halo’s had. One he had had many times before through the years. Sometimes he still felt he was dreaming, but he knew he wasn’t. It was all reality. He had achieved a dream that millions shared. 

Wooyoung leaned closer again, his voice dropping to a stage whisper. “Don’t worry, Joongie. The real test is whether you can survive Seonghwa’s cooking.”

Seonghwa’s hand shot out, smacking Wooyoung on the arm. “Excuse me! I’m not even the one cooking tonight.”

“And thank god for that,” Mingi quipped, earning a glare from Seonghwa.

“I think Seonghwa is a really good cook.” Hongjoong spoke up, defending his boyfriend. “He’s cooked for me a few times, and I’ve enjoyed everything he’s made.”

Wooyoung groaned. “God I forgot about how he made soup and stuff for little Joongie here when he was sick.”

“Little Joongie?” Mingi roared with laughter again, tears streaming down his face. 

Amid the laughter and back and forth, Hongjoong felt Seonghwa’s hand settle on his thigh under the table, a grounding touch that reminded him he wasn’t alone in the chaos. Their eyes met briefly, Seonghwa’s expression softening in silent reassurance.

“Alright, alright,” Yunho said finally, raising his hands to restore some order. “Let’s at least let him eat before you scare him off.”

“Eat fast, though,” Wooyoung said with a wink. “I’ve still got questions.”

As dinner wound down, Hongjoong leaned back in his chair, the satisfied ache of a full stomach finally overtaking his nerves. Wooyoung clapped his hands together suddenly, jolting him from his thoughts.

“Alright, everyone! Operation Cleanup commences now,” Wooyoung declared, standing up and motioning grandly toward the kitchen.

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” Yunho asked, raising a brow as he began stacking plates.

“Obviously,” Wooyoung replied with a smirk. “And you,” he said, pointing dramatically at Seonghwa and Hongjoong, “the lovebirds, are forbidden from lifting a single finger. That’s an order.”

“Forbidden?” Seonghwa echoed, crossing his arms. “I don’t remember you being in charge, maknae.”

“Tonight, I am,” Wooyoung said, winking at Hongjoong. “You two just sit there and… stare lovingly into each other’s eyes or whatever it is you do.”

“Or,” Mingi cut in, grabbing a stack of plates, “you can start planning the wedding. I hear Wooyoung’s great at picking flower arrangements.”

Wooyoung threw a dish towel at Mingi. “Don’t steal my thunder! And besides, Hwa would never let me plan his wedding. He’d cry if I made it too fabulous.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips. “Keep talking, and you’re on dish duty for a month when you go back home.”

Wooyoung held up his hands in surrender, retreating to the kitchen with the others. The clatter of dishes and playful bickering carried through the house, leaving Seonghwa and Hongjoong sitting together in the dining room.

Seonghwa caught Hongjoong’s eye and smiled brightly at him. “How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good actually. This is all surreal as hell, but somehow less surreal than…” he gestured between the pair instead of saying it out loud. The idol understood though and chuckled. 

“They really like you, Joongie.”

“How can you tell?” 

“I’ve known them half my life at this point, I can read them like an open book.”

“Hmm, guess I have to give you that.” The man chuckled. “I’m having a reall good time, despite how nervous I was for all of this.”

Seonghwa beamed. “I knew you would!” His hand moved to grip Joong’s arm. 

The two continued to sit and chat quietly with one another for a few more minutes, the sounds of pots and pans banging around and cheerful singing sounding from the kitchen. 

A few minutes later, the noise subsided, and Yunho returned with the rest of the group trailing behind him. Wooyoung had a mischievous gleam in his eye, carrying something carefully wrapped in brown paper. “Alright, it’s time for the main event.”

“The main event?” Hongjoong asked, his brow furrowing in confusion as he glanced at Seonghwa.

Seonghwa, ever patient, simply smiled and shook his head. “Don’t ask. Just let them do their thing.”

Wooyoung walked closer with the package in his hands, the edges of the brown paper neatly folded and tied with twine. He placed it in front of Hongjoong with a flourish, stepping back like he was presenting a priceless treasure.

“This,” Wooyoung began dramatically, “is from all of us. A token of our acceptance and approval, crafted with care, precision, and-”

“Way too many arguments,” Mingi interrupted, earning a glare from Wooyoung.

“Rude,” Wooyoung muttered before recovering his theatrical tone. “Anyway, we all pitched in to get you this.”

Hongjoong glanced at Seonghwa, who nodded encouragingly. “Go on, open it.”

Carefully, Hongjoong untied the twine and peeled back the paper, revealing a stunning wooden carving of a star. The craftsmanship was impeccable, with smooth, polished edges and delicate engravings etched into its surface. As he tilted it in his hands, the engravings caught the light, revealing intricate patterns that seemed to dance like constellations.

“It’s a star,” Mingi said unnecessarily, his grin wide. “Like our Seonghwa.”

San, standing a little off to the side, crossed his arms with a slight pout. “It was supposed to be a heart,” he muttered under his breath, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

Wooyoung rolled his eyes. “Yes, and a heart would’ve been fine-if we were giving him a Valentine’s Day gift.”

San narrowed his eyes at Wooyoung. “Hearts are universal symbols of love, genius. A star is just a fancy shape.”

“A fancy shape?” Wooyoung gasped, clutching his chest as if mortally wounded. “A star represents Seonghwa! Our Seonghwa! The literal glue that holds us all together. How dare you insult my creative genius!”

“Your genius?!” San shot back, stepping closer. “You didn’t even come up with the idea!” There was no real heat or fire in their words, and if anything Hongjoong felt a strange sort of energy between the two. It made him wonder if the rumors and gleeful shippers of WooSan were correct in their assumptions…

“Okay, okay,” Yunho interrupted, stepping between them with the air of a long suffering parent. “Can we not argue for five seconds? You’re ruining the moment.”

Hongjoong laughed softly, the bickering so absurd that it only made the gift feel more special. “It’s beautiful,” he said, his voice warm as he ran his fingers over the engravings. “Thank you, all of you. This… it means a lot.”

“It’s more than just a star,” Yunho added, his voice calm but firm. “Seonghwa’s the reason we’re all here, and now you’re part of that too. We wanted you to have something that represents what he means to us, and what you mean to him.”

Hongjoong felt his chest tighten, the weight of Yunho’s words sinking in. He looked at Seonghwa, who was watching him with the kind of quiet adoration that always left him breathless. “You didn’t have to do this,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Of course we did,” Wooyoung said, sliding back into the conversation with a grin. “You’re stuck with us now, Joongie. Better get used to it.”

“Stuck is right,” San muttered, though the faint smile tugging at his lips betrayed his fondness.

Hongjoong set the star down carefully, his fingers lingering on its surface before he turned to Seonghwa. “Thank you,” he said again, his voice steady despite the emotion welling in his chest. “All of you.”

Seonghwa reached out, his hand brushing against Hongjoong’s as their eyes met. “You deserve it,” he said simply, his voice carrying the kind of unwavering certainty that always left Hongjoong feeling seen.

“Alright, that’s enough mushiness,” Wooyoung declared, shoving Mingi lightly. “Someone bring out dessert before I start crying.”

Mingi grinned, nudging him with his elbow. “You cry over everything, Woo.”

“Not true!” Wooyoung protested. “Name one time I cried.”

“When we watched that one commercial about the puppies,” Yunho supplied dryly, earning a round of laughter from the group.

As the laughter filled the room, Hongjoong looked down at the star again, his fingers tracing the engravings. For all the chaos and teasing, this moment was perfect. It was more than a gift: it was a welcome, a sign that he belonged, not just with Seonghwa but with all of them.

⧭

Hongjoong settled back into the plush sectional, Seonghwa tucked against his side with a soft blanket draped over their legs. The warmth of Seonghwa’s presence and the low hum of laughter in the room made him feel like he’d been part of this group forever, even if the reality was far newer. He enjoyed the way that his bias felt against him, and was happy to see that Hwa clearly didn’t care if his brothers were forced to see him cuddle with his boyfriend. 

The tv screen glowed in the dimly lit den, displaying colorful chaos as Mingi, Wooyoung, Yunho, and San battled it out in a competitive game. Hongjoong wasn’t sure what they were playing, something with teams, champions, and far too much yelling, but it didn’t really matter. The energy in the room was electric, and even San, who clearly didn’t care much for the game, was grinning as he half heartedly tried to keep up.

“You’re supposed to cover me, Woo!” Mingi bellowed, slapping his controller against his thigh. “What are you doing?”

“Winning, obviously,” Wooyoung shot back, leaning forward as his fingers flew over the buttons. “Maybe try not dying so much, Snowman.”

Yunho, calm and collected despite the chaos around him, muttered, “You guys are the worst teammates.”

“And yet you keep playing with us,” Wooyoung quipped, grinning.

San sighed dramatically. “I don’t know why I’m even here. I could be doing literally anything else.”

“Because you love us,” Wooyoung said, his eyes still glued to the screen. “And because I promised I’d take your turn cleaning the kitchen if you joined.”

“Right, that,” San deadpanned, rolling his eyes but smiling faintly.

Hongjoong chuckled softly, glancing at Seonghwa. “Do they always bicker this much?” He had almost thought that all of the bickering and insanity was just for the cameras, but he had been proven wrong on that front. 

“Always,” Seonghwa replied with a fond smile. “But it’s harmless. Mostly. Best to keep Woo away from sharp objects, just to be on the safe side.”

“Speaking of harmless,” Mingi said suddenly, his grin widening as he turned his attention away from the screen. “Joong, did Hwa ever tell you about the time he tried to convince us he could ride a bike and sing at the same time?”

Seonghwa groaned, burying his face in Hongjoong’s shoulder. “Mingi, no.”

“Mingi yes!!” Mingi said, laughing as he set his controller aside. “He insisted it was totally fine and then crashed into a bush mid song . The rest of us were dying, and Hwa comes out of the bush with twigs in his hair, yelling about how it wasn’t his fault.” The tall man laughed harder as the memory clearly hit him fully. 

“Okay, but to be fair,” Seonghwa said, his voice muffled against Hongjoong, “the road was uneven.” From Hongjoong’s position he couldn’t see his boyfriend’s face, but it sounded like he was pouting. 

“And you were trying to hit a high note,” Yunho added, his lips twitching with amusement.

“I would’ve nailed it if the bush hadn’t been there,” Seonghwa grumbled, though it sounded like a smile was tugging at his lips, betraying him.

Hongjoong laughed, his hand gently brushing over Seonghwa’s arm. “I think it’s impressive you even tried.”

“Of course you’d say that,” Wooyoung interjected with a smirk. “You’re still in the honeymoon phase. Everything he does is cute to you.”

“Because it is,” Hongjoong shot back, his tone playful. “And you can’t say it’s the honeymoon phase when I’ve thought everything Hwa did was cute for the last eight years.”

Wooyoung groaned loudly, clutching his chest as if wounded. “Ugh, the mushiness. My poor single heart can’t take it.”

Seonghwa smiled, leaning in closer to Hongjoong and whispering just loud enough for everyone to hear, “Don’t let him fool you. He’s secretly a romantic.”

“Not true!” Wooyoung protested, but the faint blush on his cheeks gave him away.

Grinning mischievously, Wooyoung set his controller down and pulled out his phone. “You know what? Since we’re telling embarrassing stories, let’s make it a visual experience. Joongie, prepare yourself. These are from the vault.”

“What vault?” Seonghwa asked, sitting up slightly, suspicion flashing in his eyes.

“The trainee days vault,” Wooyoung replied, swiping through his phone before holding it up. The screen displayed a photo of Seonghwa mid dance move, his hair a chaotic mess and his expression one of pure determination.

“Oh my god,” Seonghwa groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Why do you still have that?”

“Because it’s iconic,” Wooyoung declared, narrating like a sports announcer. “Here we have Seonghwa, age sixteen, giving it his all in practice and looking like he just ran through a wind tunnel.”

Yunho leaned over, peering at the screen. “That was the day he slipped and fell during the routine, wasn’t it?”

“Yep!” Wooyoung confirmed, swiping to the next photo. “And here’s the aftermath-Seonghwa on the floor, refusing to get up because he was too embarrassed.”

Hongjoong laughed, the sound bubbling up before he could stop it. “You’re adorable,” he said to Seonghwa, who groaned again but leaned into him anyway.

“You’re just as bad as they are,” Seonghwa muttered, though his smile said otherwise.

“Okay, okay,” Wooyoung said, setting his phone down and throwing an arm around Mingi’s shoulders. “We’ve had our fun. For now. But Joongie, consider yourself officially part of the chaos.”

“Welcome to the family,” Mingi added with a grin.

Hongjoong smiled, his hand finding Seonghwa’s under the blanket. For all the teasing and antics, he’d never felt more at home. 

Another hour passed with AURAGE falling heavily into their game and completely forgetting about Seonghwa and Hongjoong. They continued to bicker, occasionally smacking each other or on the inverse, high fiving and hugging one another when things went the way they wanted. It was fun to watch, but Hongjoong soon found his attention being drawn to his boyfriend. 

Seonghwa had moved their joined hands above the blanket, and was busy tracing over every inch of skin on the brown haired man’s hand. Two fingertips moving with purpose down from the fingertip to his wrist and back again. He appeared to be content and happy in his movements, and Hongjoong felt his heart swelling with happiness once again. Being with Seonghwa made every day special. 

Joong moved his free hand to trace over Seonghwa’s, causing the black haired man to look up and away from what he was doing, head still against Hongjoong’s shoulder. He gave a smile and leaned forward to press his lips to Hongjoong’s in a very brief kiss. “I’m so happy you’re here.” His words were whispered, meant only for Hongjoong’s ears. 

“I am too.” He smiled as Hwa flipped his hand over so that Hongjoong could hold onto it. He knew it was getting late though and he would soon need to return to his own home. He was sure that Seonghwa had big plans for Friday considering it would be AURAGE’s last full day in the states, and was fully prepared to be there for his boyfriend Saturday after he got off work. He didn’t want to see the idol spiral into depression once his friends were gone. 

Finding his mouth a bit parched he wondered if he would get yelled at for stepping in front of the tv to get water. He frowned as he looked around the room, trying to find an exit that didn’t involve the possibility of murder by a gaming controller. 

“What?” Seonghwa asked, still watching him. 

Hongjoong chuckled and leaned down to whisper, “I’m a bit thirsty and was going to ask if I could go and get some water, but I’m afraid if I get in between them and the tv, I might not live to see tomorrow.”

Seonghwa chuckled. “Good survival instincts, my Joongie.”

The salesman had to fight hard to stay conscious after being called that. 

“But I’ll go with you. They know better than to yell at me.” Seonghwa moved the blanket off of their legs and stood up, stretching. Then he grinned, and it was a little bit worrisome to see, as Hongjoong stood as well. “Okay, say goodbye to Hongjoong. You’re not going to see him again tonight, or me.”

Wooyoung’s head shot up, looking away from the tv with wide eyes and a smirk on his face. “You’re going to get freak nasty while we’re here? That’s kinky!”

“Wooyoung…” Yunho sighed, admonishing the younger man. 

“What? I didn’t say it, they did.”

Hongjoong had no idea what the fuck was happening, but he knew his face was as red as San’s shirt. Especially as the wearer of that shirt stared at him with a knowing smile on his face. 

Seonghwa sighed. “No, I’m going to go and spend some time with my boyfriend, alone, away from you heathens, before he leaves for the night. Get your mind out of the gutter, Wooyoung.” 

Mingi howled and shoved Wooyoung. “They’re gonna do it.” He snarked with a hand at his mouth. 

Hongjoong wished that he could float away into oblivion. 

Hwa ignored them, seemingly unaffected, and took his boyfriend’s hand, all but dragging him out of the room even as Mingi and Wooyoung wolf whistled as they climbed the steps and disappeared into the kitchen.

“Sorry.” Hwa sighed, but there was a smile on his face. “I never could take them anywhere… and now I know I can never bring them home again.”

Joong laughed and shook his head. “It’s fine. Can I have that glass of water now?” He felt like he needed it more than ever before after that conversation and teasing bout. 

“Of course, Joongie.” The singer moved to collect a glass before getting the water from the filter. He handed it over to Hongjoong but then paused. “Do you want ice?”

“No, this is fine. It’s so cold outside that the water itself is cold.” He chuckled. 

After he sated his thirst, he put the glass down on the island in the kitchen and stood awkwardly. Did Seonghwa want to spend time with him or should he go home? It felt weird to be taking him from AURAGE knowing they’d be leaving before long. It wasn’t likely that they’d be returning to Montrose anytime soon either. 

Seonghwa hovered nearby, looking uncertain himself. 

“I should probably head home.” Hongjoong announced, thinking that he would save his boyfriend the trouble of trying to decide between his best friends and his boyfriend. 

“What? But I thought…” Hwa frowned and stopped himself from speaking further as he nodded. 

“You thought?” Hongjoong prompted, not ready to let it go.

Seonghwa pouted and it was so adorable that it made Hongjoong giggle. “I thought we’d spend more time together before you left. You know, without them teasing you and telling us to stop being smushy.”

“Mushy.” Hongjoong corrected. 

Seonghwa nodded in understanding and corrected himself. “Yeah, mushy.”

How could the wannabe producer deny him anything after that? He closed the gap between them, fingers dancing across Hwa’s sides as he pulled him in close for a hug. “I can stay a little while longer, babe.”

⧭

The little while longer turned into much longer. Especially as the hug turned into a kiss, that then turned into something more heated than was safe for a kitchen. It wasn't supposed to go that far and maybe it was Yeosang's drunken and then not drunken advice that pushed Hongjoong to deepen the kiss as he pushed Hwa back against the counter on the kitchen island. Hongjoong wasn’t ready for sex. Even with Yeosang’s advice. He greatly feared not being able to please Seonghwa. He knew deep down that it was just him overthinking everything and not being able to get out of his head, but he couldn’t help it. Even as he let Hwa’s tongue slip into his mouth though, he knew he wanted something . Just not that . There were plenty of things they could do that didn’t involve full on sex. Maybe enough of that would get Joong out of his head.

Seonghwa’s arms had wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer against his body. A body that Hongjoong was holding onto for stability, trying not to let his brain melt at the realization that he once again had Park Fucking Seonghwa’s tiny waist in his hands. All the years of following AURAGE, and one of Joong’s favorite places on the man had become his waist and stomach. The few times they’d made out, and he had been given the chance to touch Hwa there, had left him reeling and way too turned on for his own good. Just like it was doing now. His fingers squeezed lightly against the sweatshirt, one of his fingers slipping under the material to touch bare skin. His heart beat so much faster, and his skin flushed with desire. He wanted more. 

Though maybe he shouldn’t be wanting anything at all considering that AURAGE was just down the stairs playing their video game. Such thoughts were hard to grasp and hold onto though. They fleeted through this mind like fine silk, falling through his hands before he could focus enough to pull away from his idol. The sound of someone coming up the stairs though was enough to break both of them out of their trance. The two jumped and looked towards the hallway before Seonghwa giggled, grabbing Joong’s hand and forcefully dragging him into his bedroom. 

Hongjoong allowed himself to be dragged along, a smile on his face. Running away from whatever member of AURAGE had come upstairs was too funny for him, and only heightened his desire for some reason. He assumed it was the thrill of the risk. It made him feel like a teenager again, and that wasn’t always a bad thing. 

As soon as they were in Seonghwa’s bedroom, Hongjoong was given no chance to look around or take in his surroundings. For one it was dark inside, and for another, the moment the door was closed, Seonghwa pushed Joong against the door and invaded his space with his body but was still far enough away to give Hongjoong the chance to move away if he wanted. Except Hongjoong didn’t want to. Seonghwa stared at him with a look that spoke of questions unspoken. The question was evident however. Was Hongjoong okay with what they were doing? He smirked and gave his answer silently, wrapping his hands around Hwa’s waist as he pulled him forward so that their bodies were flush against one another. Hongjoong connected their lips again, but the kiss was kept rather chaste due to the presence on the other side of the door.

Mingi was in the kitchen. He was mumbling to himself in Korean. Hongjoong heard the refrigerator open and a few items being shuffled around before it was closed and the sounds of Mingi’s voice and footsteps faded away, showing that he had gone back downstairs. 

Seonghwa broke the kiss the second the sounds outside of the door ceased. “Are you okay?” His voice was low, filled with desire and want, even as he was asking such a sweet question, which only made Hongjoong shiver.

“Yeah, are you?” He grinned.

“Absolutely.” Seonghwa leaned forward again, his lips finding Joong’s even in the dark. “How long can you stay?” He spoke between kisses. 

“As long as you want.” Hongjoong whispered back, one of his hands sliding under the Christmas sweater, nearly groaning at the feeling of Seonghwa’s stomach under his fingertips. He felt Seonghwa tense against the feeling, his muscles jumping in what Hongjoong hoped was anticipation and not a desire to not be touched… which the more he thought on that, the less it made sense that his boyfriend didn’t want to be touched. He had to push his overthinking away again. 

“Tell me what one of your fantasies about me involves, Joongie.” Seonghwa moved his head to whisper in Hongjoong’s ear. His warm breath caused a shiver to spark down Hongjoong’s spine, his hand gripping tighter to the man’s waist for a few seconds. 

He had a lot of fantasies, and didn’t know which one he felt comfortable saying out loud. With their current circumstances, he also wondered if it was going to be something that Seonghwa tried to fulfill, and the very thought had his toes curling against the carpet in the singer’s room. “Your tongue.” He managed to get the two words out, and as his vision adjusted to the darkness, he saw the smile on Hwa’s face as his eyes danced over Hongjoong’s face with excitement in them. 

“My tongue…” he drew the word out, as if he was searching for Joong to supply him with the rest. 

“On me.” Hongjoong could barely speak, but he was doing his best. 

“Yeah?” Seonghwa leaned forward, bending his head down, his tongue suddenly running across Hongjoong’s neck. 

The poor salesman jerked at the feeling, a gasp leaving his mouth as he titled his head to the side out of pure instinct. Seonghwa clearly took it as an invitation to move his long tongue across the expanse of skin that was on display for him. “Like that, Joongie?” His voice whispered once more near his ear before that sinful tongue played against the shell of his ear, down to his earlobe. 

“Y-yeah, li-like that.” Hongjoong shivered again, feeling like a useless puddle of good feelings. His brain was short circuiting in the best of ways.

“And if I want to taste more of you?” Seonghwa was clearly trying not to take the lead and force something that Hongjoong didn’t want. It almost made the other man laugh at himself because he was not this person that had to be led by the hand, but finding his courage with Park Fucking Seonghwa was a time consuming task. 

Straightening his neck he grabbed one of Hwa’s hands in his own and licked his bottom lip before moving the idol’s hand to his crotch, giving him full permission to taste whatever he wanted. The tight jeans made it pretty difficult to feel much through the thick denim, but he felt enough. He felt like he was being pretty bold and was proud of himself for taking such actions. However, his brain completely melted with Seonghwa’s next whispered words, the warm breath making it even harder to function.

“Do you want my tongue on your cock, Joongie?”

Hongjoong nearly choked on his own spit. He had never heard Seonghwa say something so filthy before, and it was both jarring and incredibly exciting in all of the best ways. Joong swore he nearly came just from those words coming out of that mouth. “Fuuuck.” His single word was all he managed to get out, and he heard a small giggle from Seonghwa, whose hand had already worked the button on Hongjoong’s pants free. 

“Is that a yes, jagi?”

No words would aid the poor salesman, so he simply nodded, quite eagerly. 

“Good.” Seonghwa teased his earlobe with his tongue again before he drew it in between his teeth, making Hongjoong moan. 

This could not be happening. Hongjoong couldn’t keep up. He had made out with the singer many many times, and of course there was that one instance where he had rutted against his boyfriend, causing Park Fucking Seonghwa to have an orgasm! And Seonghwa had had his hand wrapped around Hongjoong’s dick, bringing him to his own orgasm… but this time felt different. Maybe because there was no alcohol involved, maybe because Seonghwa was being just the right level of forceful and was saying and doing things that were driving the brown haired man to new levels of insanity. He could hardly believe it was happening. Surely he was still asleep and he would soon wake up, or the dream would turn into a weird nightmare. 

Except that didn’t look to be the case, as Seonghwa suddenly dropped to his knees in front of Hongjoong, long fingers pulling the zipper down on his jeans as he looked up at his boyfriend with those large eyes filled with lust. Hongjoong tried to get his breathing under control, and subtly pinched his arm. It hurt, so he was definitely not dreaming. He was giddy and nervous, still afraid of doing something wrong, but overly excited at the possibility of having Seonghwa’s tongue on his dick. The mere thought had him holding back a groan. 

He had to bite his tongue as Hwa’s hand snuck into his underwear and pulled his member out. Hongjoong could still remember the way that Seonghwa’s hand had felt on him from the first time, and that memory alongside the current situation had his heart in his throat. He couldn’t take his eyes off of what was happening below his waist, watching with barely contained exhilaration. 

Seonghwa’s eyes had moved to stare at what was in his hands, and Hongjoong felt sudden concern. What if he wasn’t good enough? What if Seonghwa thought that his dick was mediocre? Such thoughts of unworthiness soon evaporated as those big eyes were back on him just as Hwa’s tongue slid across Hongjoong’s cock. He bucked at the feeling, gasping out rather loudly. He was never overly loud, but goddamn it was Park Fucking Seonghwa! To make matters even worse, Seonghwa made a sound of affirmation, as if he enjoyed the taste of his boyfriend. He ran his tongue from the tip to the base on one side before he repeated the actions on the other side. Hongjoong was already ready to explode. 

The idol grinned before he licked the precum off of Joong’s tip, making Hongjoong’s eyes go wide. Seonghwa pulled back just a little bit. “Hongjoong?” The brown haired man blinked, but no words came out, his mind reeling from what was happening. “Joongie?” Seonghwa tried again, an ever present smile on his face. 

“Y–y-yeah?” Hongjoong panted out his single word.

“Are you okay?” The singer checked in again, and it made Hongjoong’s heart swell with happiness. That Seonghwa was so sweet and really cared about how he was feeling made a world of difference. 

“So o-okay, I’m great, fuck.” 

Seonghwa chuckled. “Okay, good. I want you to stop me if anything becomes too much, okay?”

Hongjoong nodded his head, but he didn’t really think he had it in him to stop anything short of full on anal sex. Oral though? He was so down for it. 

“How does the rest of your fantasy go? And be honest.” Seonghwa reached his hand out to grasp the head of Joong’s dick, smearing the precum around. 

It only made thinking more difficult for the brown haired man. His eyes fluttered shut and he breathed heavily through his nostrils in an attempt to not make noises. He knew exactly how this particular fantasy went in his head, but he was afraid to say it out loud. Afraid that he might scare off his boyfriend, or make the man think he was crazy. 

“Joongie?” Hwa whispered again, his hot breath splaying out over Joong’s cock, making the wannabe producer shiver. “You can tell me.”

“I-I, f-fuck…” god he couldn’t say it, but if he could actually do it?! Hongjoong had to throw caution to the wind. “I fuck your mouth.” He kept his eyes closed as he said it, still so afraid that Seonghwa was going to completely abandon him and tell him that such rough sex was not on his bingo card for the year. 

Instead he was given the most wonderful reward in the sound of Seonghwa moaning. Hongjoong’s eyes snapped open in shock. The look on his boyfriend’s face was filled with hunger. “Please.” He whispered the word out, looking as if he could hardly contain himself now. Hongjoong blinked several times, unable to wrap his head around everything once again. 

“Aren’t-aren’t you worried I’ll hurt yo-you?” Hongjoong flexed his hands into fists for lack of anything to hold onto. 

“No.” Seonghwa looked up at him with lust filled eyes. “Just maybe don’t hit the back of my throat.” He chuckled. “You’re pretty big, Joongie, and I don’t know if I could handle having all of you in my mouth.” Joong’s brain melted again, and he almost forgot how to breathe. “But I’ll tap your leg if it becomes too much. Otherwise, please-” his pleading was let out on a breath, making it sound even more satisfying to the ear. “Put your hands in my hair, pull as much as you want, and fuck my mouth, Hongjoong.”

Was he on a prank show? Was he on the Truman Show? This was not reality. Park Fucking Seonghwa was NOT begging for Kim Hongjoong to fuck his mouth, roughly at that, and pull his hair during it. Such things only happened in Hongjoong’s fantasies. Which of course the idol was clearly trying to make one of his fantasies a reality, but what?! Had he slipped into a parallel universe where such things were possible? He knew it wasn’t a dream anymore, because he had pinched himself and it hurt. So there had to be another explanation because stuff like this didn’t happen to normal people, let alone losers like Kim Hongjoong! 

“Joong, you’ve got to stop overthinking. I know that is your signature mark, but for once you’ve got to get out of your head and just let things happen as they will. Seonghwa is crazy about you! It was so obvious at dinner last night. Everyone saw it! I know that is insane, I know it’s hard to accept that this has happened, but it has. I’m just telling you, don’t blow this by getting stuck in Hongjoong Land to the point that you make him think you don’t like him, you’re not interested, or that you’re too self obsessed. None of those things are true, and we both know it, but Seonghwa doesn’t. You have a once in a lifetime chance here, and you will never forgive yourself if you mess it up by overthinking. Go with the flow, bro! Be honest with him, communicate, and god just enjoy what you have that any other Halo would die for.” 

Yeosang’s voice, while unwanted in the current situation, was suddenly in Hongjoong’s head. The memory was recalled in a flash. While he’d prefer to not be hearing his best friend’s voice while Park Fucking Seonghwa’s hand was still wrapped around the head of his cock and had just told him to fuck his mouth, the advice was much needed. He couldn’t fuck this up. It was happening, and he had to accept that. He could freak out later when he was home by himself, after he made sure that Seonghwa understood how fucking amazing he was and how much Hongjoong liked loved him. He couldn’t have a repeat of their previous time where Seonghwa worried that he had overstepped and forced his boyfriend into something he wasn’t ready for. While he hadn’t said it outloud, Joong had a feeling that it had been a blow to Hwa’s self esteem and had left a lot of doubts in the black haired man’s mind. That was not something Hongjoong ever wanted to repeat. Seonghwa deserved the whole world, but Joong couldn’t give him that, so he would have to be the world’s best boyfriend instead. 

He nodded his head, breath coming out in quick burst again. His hands moved to Hwa’s head, threading his fingers into the man’s soft hair. “Oh god…” he whispered the word without thinking. Seonghwa smiled and opened his mouth wide, tongue stretching out between his lips, giving Hongjoong an invitation like no other. The black haired man gave no resistance as Joong pulled his head forward, his own mouth open in silent shock as his bias allowed him to push his cock into his mouth. Hongjoong remembered what had been said, and didn’t go that far into the man’s mouth, which was fine, as his eyes were already rolling just from the sensations he was being given. Hwa wrapped his lips around him and Hongjoong’s hands gripped tighter into the man’s hair as a shiver shook his entire body. 

It took him a few minutes to get a good rhythm going, thrusting his hips forward and backward, keeping things rather slow as he fucked into his boyfriend’s mouth. He swore he was already seeing stars. One of Seonghwa’s hands had wrapped around the part of Joong he couldn’t take into his mouth, and the other rested on the man’s hip. His eyes remained on Hongjoong the entire time, and the brown haired man could hardly look away. Little gasp left his mouth, his toes curled into the floor, and pleasure sparked everywhere. He wasn’t going to last long, which was just another reason he was determined to keep his thrusting slow, at least for a little bit. That way he could give himself enough time to not be embarrassed by being a one minute lover, and so he could enjoy everything as long as possible. 

Park Fucking Seonghwa, sucking Kim Mother Fucking Hongjoong’s dick. Not even his fantasies did it justice. Seonghwa’s mouth was a thing of beauty, soft, warm, wet. Occasionally he would move his tongue in a way that made Hongjoong groan. It was only three minutes in before Hongjoong lost his sense of time and desire to be slow. His hips pushed forward faster, he felt vibrations from Seonghwa’s moans and it only fueled Joong to go faster. His breathing became a steady stream of short and fast, broken up with gasps and small moans of his own. His hands gripped so tightly into Hwa’s hair that he almost feared harming the other man, but as no tap had come to his hip or any other part, he knew he was okay. “Seonghwa-Seonghwa…” he spoke the man’s name as his head fell back against the door, eyes rolling. He wasn’t going to last, even with his best efforts. He was too far gone to be embarrassed by it though. “God f-fuck-baby.” Single words splintered out of his mouth, unable to make a full sentence. He felt the coil in his groin growing tighter. 

He forced his head off of the door so he could look back down at the man whose head he now pulled back and forth on his dick, and moaned rather loudly at the sight, completely forgetting about being quiet. He let out a heavy and loud breath before he bit his lip. “Oh my god… fuck… yo-you, oh my god, Seonghwa.” His head fell back again, unable to speak. 

“F-fuck-fuck, I-” he loosened his grip on the man’s hair. “I’m gon-gonna cum baby, oh my god-” he thought that Seonghwa would pull off himself, jerk him to his release, but instead Seonghwa sunk his mouth further down on Hongjoong. The brown haired man looked back down in pure shock and arousal. “Hwa I- fuck- oh m-” fingers once again flexed in the idol’s hair, eyes locked on Seonghwa before they fluttered close as his orgasm rang out through his body like a church bell summoning him to Sunday worship. His entire body physically shook with his orgasm, hands unable to not hold Hwa’s head in place. His orgasm felt like it lasted forever, and it took even longer for the man to come down to reality. By the time he did, Hwa’s mouth was no longer on him, but the singer was still on the ground in front of him, looking rather pleased. 

Hongjoong’s breathing took a minute to get back to normal, and even as reality began to slowly be pieced together, Joong felt like he could barely move. He felt Seonghwa zipping his pants up and then the idol was standing before him. His dark eyes roaming over Hongjoong’s face with a giant smirk on his lips.

“Do you need to lie down?” His voice was a bit hoarse, and knowing the reason made Hongjoong want to groan all over again. 

He blinked a few times and finally had his eyes land on his boyfriend’s. “No, I want to-to return the favor. Holy shit, Hwa, that was… oh my god.” 

Seonghwa’s smile took on a less cocky expression, one of his signature smiles that lit up his whole face and made him look utterly beautiful and adorable all at once. He leaned forward against Hongjoong and pressed his lips to the man’s cheek. “It really was. You have really great fantasies, Joongie. I look forward to exploring another one in the future.”

Hongjoong shook his head, trying to get that idea out of his mind. He blinked stupidly another few times before he realized Hwa didn’t say anything to his attempts about returning the favor. So he moved his hand carefully and slowly down to Seonghwa’s own painfully hard erection. It elicited a gasp from the singer. “You don’t have to worry about me.” He whispered the words out, hotly. 

Joong swallowed deeply, realizing that this was the first time he had ever touched his boyfriend’s cock with his hand. Seonghwa was wearing loose fitting cotton pants, which left very little between them. “I want to.” 

Seonghwa shook his head. “I’m afraid I’ll be too loud with you, Joongie. I don’t want to scar my brothers.” He chuckled, but his voice was still low and filled with that hunger Joong had heard earlier. 

Such words made Hongjoong’s already spent dick twitch. “Too loud with me specifically?” He questioned.

“Y-yes.” Hwa answered quickly. “You drive me insane. I’m so…” his breathing was coming in as fast as Hongjoong’s had been just moments before. “I’m so fucking turned on by you.”

Hongjoong groaned. He needed a cold shower. He was not ready for sex, but fuck if that mental image wasn’t in his head. His fingers grasped Seonghwa through the pants, listening to the beautiful panting his boyfriend delivered to his ear. His other hand once again made its way into the singer’s shirt, deftly running his fingers across the smooth skin of Hwa’s stomach. “Let me take care of you baby, please. Turn some music on so they don’t hear anything.” 

Seonghwa’s head dropped to rest on Joong’s shoulder as he continued to pant. “Will you give me one of my fantasies about you?”

The brown haired man’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head. Park Fucking Seonghwa had fantasies about him?! Yeosang was going to get an ear full. The very thought of running home and telling his best friend everything made him feel like he was part of a woman’s sewing circle. 

“What fantasy do you want me to fulfill?” 

A sudden bite to his shoulder had him jumping. 

“Sorry. Sorry.” Hwa muttered. 

Hongjoong was beginning to think that Park Seonghwa was much kinkier than he originally expected. Fuck if that wasn’t the hottest bit of knowledge to have. 

“I have a lot, Joongie. God, I want you so bad.”

Mentally, Hongjoong fell to the ground, turning into a puddle never to take corporeal form again. In actuality though he remained where he was, dick trying valiantly to twitch back to life, hand grasping harder to both parts of his boyfriend he was touching. Seonghwa’s hands moved to his shoulders and he let his head rest against Hongjoong’s forehead. 

“I’m sorry. I’m moving too fast.”

“No, no, that was, fuck that was the hottest thing you’ve ever said. You have no idea how much willpower I’m having to use right now.”

“Let your willpower go then.” Seonghwa responded in kind. “No, sorry, ignore me. God, Hongjoong, how do you do this to me?”

What he did to Seonghwa?! Reality blended with his fantasies again and Hongjoong tried hard to stay standing. 

“I promise you I will be ready for everything one day, baby, probably sooner rather than later. But right now, what can I do that isn’t… that ?”

Seonghwa stepped back, putting distance between them and making Hongjoong frown. “I… umm..” his tongue moved to run across his bottom lip before he turned away to stare at his bed, his arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t want to ask for too much, Joongie. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or make you feel like you have to do it just because I admitted to fantasizing about it.”

Hongjoong approached him, not liking the distance, wrapping his arms around Hwa from behind. While he was shorter, it put his mouth in line with the man’s jaw, which he was more than happy to kiss, repeatedly. It felt like since his orgasm, the tables had turned. Now it was Seonghwa being shy and worried, and Hongjoong pushing for more. “I’ll tell you if it is too much. You said you had a lot, so if I’m not comfortable with one, we choose a different one. I just want to make sure you get the same gift you gave me.”

The other man nodded his head slowly, one of his hands moving to grasp Hongoong’s thigh. “I really want…” he paused. “I don’t know Joongie, it might be too much.”

“I told you already that I’d tell you if it was, baby.”

Seonghwa dropped his head back to rest on Joong’s shoulder. “I want to feel…” he spoke very slowly, cautiously. “I want…” Hongjoong pressed his lips to the man’s cheek, trying to encourage him. “I want to feel you,” he sighed deeply, “inside of me.” Again Hongjoong’s eyes nearly bulged out. “Not-not sex. Sorry. I know how that sounded. I mean, I do- I um, fingers?” 

Hongjoong needed more willpower. Or to go home. Maybe he should just go home. Tell Hwa to figure it out himself and go the fuck home. How was he supposed to finger his fucking boyfriend and not want to fuck him?! This was some kind of punishment, most definitely. Punishment for not giving Park Fucking Seonghwa exactly what he wanted, which was apparently full on sex! Hongjoong had definitely not missed that part where Hwa said he did want sex, before he tried to backtrack it. Hongjoong was right back to believing he had slipped through into some parallel universe. Park Fucking Seonghwa wanted to have sex with him. 

His silence must have shattered windows, because Seonghwa suddenly pulled away again. “I’m sorry, that’s too much. I’m pushing you too hard again, and-and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should just um, go to sleep. You can stay the night. If-if you want. I’m so sorry.” There were those signs of his lack of self confidence again, and it broke Hongjoong’s heart. One more he closed the distance, this time standing in front of Seonghwa, he pulled the man against him. 

“Stop apologizing, Hwa. It isn’t too much. I want to make you feel good, I want to see your body… you are so fucking beautiful, and I’m just the luckiest man in the world that you want to do this with me. Let’s turn on some music, and you get comfortable on your bed, tell me where your lube is and let me do the rest, okay?”

Seonghwa nodded slowly. “Okay.” He didn’t sound too convinced, so Hongjoong grabbed his hand again and pushed it against his erection all over. Seonghwa looked at him with large eyes. 

“You’re already getting me hard again, so please don’t take my silence for anything being wrong with you. It is purely me trying to keep my willpower so that I don’t do something I’ll regret later. I want to go all the way with you babe, just in time, I don’t want to rush things, and I don’t want you to regret anything either. Please, please understand that all of this is me, and none of it is you. You are fucking perfect.”

A smile slowly spread across Seonghwa’s lips. “I’m not perfect, but thank you, Joongie.” The two leaned forward at the same time, lips connecting in the middle. 

It was a fun and strange dance the two were partaking in. A give and take, pull and push where they eventually met on even ground for short moments of lust filled pleasure and desire before nervousness and self doubt pulled them apart again. Hongjoong was sure that one day they’d meet in the middle and not have any more issues pulling them apart. 

Moments later Seonghwa had stepped away to his bed, telling Alexa to play one of his playlist and turned the volume up. He walked over to his nightstand and pulled open the drawer, grabbing a bottle of lube out before he shyly handed it to Hongjoong. The brown haired man removed his blazer, hanging it on the door handle, leaving him with just the simple black shirt underneath. With his back to Hongjoong, Seonghwa pulled the Christmas sweater off, folding it nice and neat before he sat it down on a chair in the corner. The brown haired man watched with rapt attention, body feeling like it was on fire with the wanton desire that pushed at the seams of his sanity. Park Fucking Seonghwa was stripping before him, and Hongjoong had to be a dumbass and deny himself what they both wanted. 

The second that Seonghwa’s underwear dropped, Hongjoong nearly passed out. He watched as the very immodest man folded his boxer briefs and placed them with the rest of his clothing before he climbed onto his bed, giving the salesman one hell of a view. Seonghwa turned around, on his knees as he faced Hongjoong. He seemed to have regained some of his previous confidence as he crooked a finger, drawing the other man over. 

Hongjoong was more than happy to walk over to him, taking in the sight of a fully naked Park Fucking Seonghwa before him. He breathed out a hot breath as he stopped before him. “God, you really are the most beautiful person in the universe. How are you even real?”

Seonghwa’s full body blush spoke volumes. “I am not.” He muttered, looking shy again. 

Hongjoong pressed his lips to Seonghwa’s, a smile on his face even through the whole action. “Yes you are, baby.” He moved his head to press his lips against Hwa’s neck and shoulder. “Lie down for me?” 

The singer nodded and moved away, laying down on his back, his breathing already coming in harder once more. Hongjoong smirked, feeling his own confidence on the rise. 

The conversations and actions of the night, alongside Yeosang’s advice, had put them on much better and solid ground. He just hoped that they would be able to continue pushing forward instead of going backward. 

Hongjoong, with lube in hand, climbed onto the bed, positioning himself between Seonghwa’s legs. The second he was situated, Seonghwa bent his knees and pulled his legs up. Hongjoong nearly busted the lube open from how tightly he gripped the damn bottle, the sight before him nearly enough to take him out entirely. Once he managed to get his head on straight, which thankfully didn’t take so long that it sent his boyfriend spiraling into self doubts, Hongjoong accomplished opening the bottle. 

“How long has it been since you’ve… ya know…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. 

“Since I’ve what?” Seonghwa questioned with a head tilt.

Either he really didn’t know what Hongjoong was talking about, or he was enjoying teasing the other man. 

“I mean, I assume you masterbate…” Hongjoong turned so red. “But like, do you… “ he gestured between Hwa’s legs with an uneasy expression. 

Seonghwa blinked, clearly very confused. “I don’t… what?”

Hongjoong sighed. “When’s the last time that you had anything inside of you?” He blurted out the question and Seonghwa laughed. 

“Oh! Maybe a week and a half.”

That was hot and Hongjoong didn’t even know why. Just the thought of his boyfriend pleasuring himself, either with his fingers or toys, was everything he wanted it to be. 

“Okay, good to know.” He nodded and squirted the lube out onto his fingers. He rubbed it between those fingers for a few seconds, trying to get it warmer. When he looked down, his heart was back in his throat, beating so loudly he thought it might rupture his esophagus. Was he really about to finger Park Fucking Seonghwa? What if he messed that up? What if he didn’t manage to please his boyfriend? Shit, he had to get out of his head. 

He looked up at Seonghwa, noting that the man was watching him avidly, and suddenly the pressure was very real. Don’t fuck this up, Joong. He inwardly groaned at his own berating, focusing on the task at hand… literally. 

Once he was sure the lube was warm enough he moved his hand into position, running his finger over the outside, watching in amusement and excitement as Seonghwa’s legs trembled from the simple touch. He hadn’t even pressed his finger inside yet, and already his boyfriend was trembling. God that was hot. Seonghwa wasn’t lying when he said that Hongjoong had a crazy effect on him. Well, it was more of a question and less words were used, but it was all the same. Knowing that he had such an effect on his boyfriend helped Joong to relax more into his role as the man’s boyfriend, and not just a Seonghwa obsessed Halo. 

The brown haired man’s eyes moved back and forth from what his finger was doing, to the trembling thighs that he wanted to bite, and Seonghwa’s face. It was a lot, but he was obsessed with the entire moment. Though he also realized he had a big task ahead of him. Make Park Fucking Seonghwa cum from prostate stimulation. That was his own personal goal of course, having seen the man cum once just from having his dick rubbed against by Hongjoong’s own. He desperately wanted to see if he could get the man to cum without having his member touched at all. Though he wouldn’t stop Seonghwa if he tried to touch himself. He didn’t think he had that right. 

Finally getting on with it, Hongjoong slowly pushed his finger inside, feeling his half hard dick twitch again, and wishing it would calm the fuck down already. He had never gotten an erection (half of one or otherwise) so quickly after an orgasm before. Clearly it was the power of Seonghwa. He might not complain if he was planning to have full sex with his boyfriend, but that was not on the table, so he really wanted it to go away as he didn’t want to deal with the discomfort of having an untended erection. 

Hongjoong watched again with amusement as Seonghwa’s breathing picked up, hooking his hands under his knees, legs continuing to shake every now and then. His eyes had rolled closed. Hongjoong moved his finger back and forth slowly, finding Hwa’s prostate and pressing against it. Seonghwa’s legs shook violently, his stomach muscles tensed and he moaned loudly, only heard by the pair in the room, as the music playing was far too loud for anyone to hear anything else. 

The wannabe producer felt his confidence on the rise from the reaction he received and pressed against it once more, watching as Hwa squirmed, breaths panting out. Never in his life did he think he’d have this opportunity, and just like the blow job, it was better than his fantasies. Slowly he worked in a second finger, using both to abuse the man’s prostate. 

Only minutes in and Seonghwa was falling apart. He was moaning so much that Hongjoong worried he might not be breathing, and he was indeed very loud. Hongjoong leaned forward over him, not able to remain just sitting there and watching. He continued to pump his fingers in and out, pressing on the spot that drove Hwa insane. Seonghwa’s eyes opened, halfway, once he realized his boyfriend was on top of him. One of his arms moved to grip onto Hongjoong’s shoulder. “Joong…” his back arched, head tilting back on his pillows. Hongjoong grinned and moved his head down to kiss the man’s neck in several different spots before he moved back again. 

“You are so beautiful.” He whispered, moving his fingers faster. 

The only response he got was a loud moan as Hwa’s hips jerked downward to increase his own pleasure. 

“That’s it baby, move for me.” A demon overtook him, as Hongjoong’s confidence soared and he got lost in the moment. Any worries about being too much or doing something Hwa wouldn’t like were gone. His usual dominant self finally breaking through the surface in the heat of the moment. “Use my fingers, Hwa, fuck them.”

Seonghwa groaned louder, his grip on Hongjoong’s shoulder tightening. “Joongie..” he all but cried, his hips moving frantically. 

“Do you wanna get on your knees baby? Easier for you to fuck my fingers that way, right? I’ll just sit here and let you ride them, hmm?”

“Y-yes.” Seonghwa agreed, but continued his previous actions, moaning and crying. 

Hongjoong giggled. “You’ve gotta stop fucking them now if you want to get on your knees for me, babe. Can you do that or do you just want me to make you cum?” He pressed harder on Hwa’s prostate, loving the way that Seonghwa’s entire body shook.

“I-I-can’t. Joong, oh my god, please…” he bit down on his lip, quieting any further words, but they were still mumbled out. Hongjoong didn’t understand any of them, and he thought it was just because of the mumbling but soon realized that Hwa was speaking in Korean. 

There was no way that Hongjoong was getting Hwa to move, that much was obvious. He gave a cocky grin, feeling so sure of himself for the first time the entire night. “It’s alright baby, you just let me help you feel good, okay?”

If Seonghwa heard him at all, he gave no acknowledgement, only continuing to moan, pressing himself down on the two fingers that were soon joined by a third. Once Hongjoong had a third finger pressed inside, Hwa came even more unglued. 

“That’s it baby.” Hongjoong encouraged him, running his hand up the smooth skin of Seonghwa’s thigh, keeping his leg up since Hwa was no longer holding it up on his own. “I want you to cum. Can you do that with just my fingers?”

Seonghwa shook his head, apparently still able to semi understand what was happening. 

“Ani.” He breathed the single word out, and thankfully Hongjoong knew the word “no” in Korean. 

“Mmm, I think you can.” He teased the other, twisting his fingers, scissoring them, and continually hitting the man’s prostate. 

A stream of Korean words pressed out of Hwa’s mouth, with only one word being something that Hongjoong recognized, and even then he wasn’t sure if he was getting it confused for another word or not. It sounded like ‘jebal’, the word for please. 

Hongjoong hadn’t initially realized how hard he was, so focused on his boyfriend’s pleasure, and now that he was aware he couldn’t stop the mental images from invading his mind. Thoughts of just pulling his jeans off and fucking Seonghwa. He groaned at the image, knowing that it would feel so good. His brain continued to supply him with such images, and a little voice in his head told him to do it. Just yank your pants down and replace your fingers with your cock. Hongjoong worked hard to ignore such thoughts. He refused to give in to temptation, even though such temptation was straining in his jeans, causing some discomfort. He really needed to make Hwa cum, or else he may very well give in. 

He heard his name whispered over and over again, which didn’t help. “Do you want me to-to touch you baby or do you want to touch yourself?” He didn’t really want to move his hand from the man’s thigh, it felt so fucking good in his hands, another fantasy of his coming to life. 

Seonghwa’s answer was to drop his hand from Joong’s shoulder. Though it didn’t even make it all the way down, stuck hovering in the air for a second before he was suddenly gripping Hongjoong’s bicep, back arched once more, legs straightening out as they shook, the loudest most guttural moan of the night escaping, eyes rolled back as he came. 

Hongjoong watched the whole thing with a look of surprise and gratification on his face. “Holy shit.” He whispered hotly, and continued moving his fingers as he coaxed every drop from his boyfriend. “Oh my god, you are so fucking amazing.” His toes were curling again, more turned on than before, but now fully aware that he was going to have to deal with the discomfort of an erection that would get no attention. It was fine. He’d be fine. 

Being a little sadistic, Hongjoong kept his fingers moving until Hwa forced him to stop by lightly tapping his wrist. Hongjoong took the warning and pulled his fingers free. He stayed where he was for a minute, watching his boyfriend come down. He looked wrecked. Chest rising and falling, a light sheen of sweat across his forehead, mouth still open and eyes heavily lidded. Hongjoong wished he had had his phone with him to take a picture, because it was the hottest Seonghwa had ever looked, which said a lot for someone as utterly gorgeous as him. 

“Is that the bathroom or a closet?” He gestured towards a closed door at the other side of the room.

“Ba-bath-bathroom.” Seonghwa hardly managed to speak. 

Hongjoong leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Hwa’s forehead. “Okay, I’m going to get something to clean us up. I promise I’m coming right back and not going to have a freak out moment.”

He heard Seonghwa chuckle weakly, but otherwise the man didn’t give much of a response. Hongjoong was floating on cloud nine. He couldn’t believe he had just caused his boyfriend to have a completely untouched orgasm, that he had fingered Park Fucking Seonghwa, or that he had gained so much confidence from it all. He was so turned on, but that felt like a minor thing compared to everything that had happened. Fucked his boyfriend’s mouth, fucked his boyfriend with his fingers, spent time with AURAGE as a friend, and not a fan. What a great night! 

Joong didn’t tarry in the bathroom, washing his hands in the sink and drying them thoroughly before he grabbed two washcloths, one he damped and one he kept dry. He quickly returned to Seonghwa, who was at least breathing normally again and didn’t look like he was still floating in the ether. He even offered a small smile to Hongjoong as he returned. The singer was quiet though, apparently still gathering his strength, as Hongjoong wiped away the mess Hwa had made on his stomach. Joong used the wet washcloth first and then the dry one. Unable to stop himself, he leaned down and pressed his lips to Seonghwa’s perfect stomach, having to hold back his groan when his lips touched such an exquisite part of his boyfriend. It didn’t help that there was still a lingering taste of Seonghwa’s cum on his stomach. Hongjoong flicked his tongue out, noting the way that Hwa shivered. He grinned as he pulled away. He didn’t want to, but he knew if he didn’t then he would never get rid of his erection. 

Looking around the room he spotted the dirty clothes basket and placed the soiled washcloths inside before he joined his boyfriend on the bed. Hongjoong climbed up next to him, and put an arm over Hwa’s waist, another kiss pressed to his temples. 

Seonghwa appeared to have finally come back down as he flipped and snuggled against Hongjoong. 

“Was that too much?” There was only a hint of uncertainty in his voice. 

“Definitely not, that was so hot baby. God, you are so amazing. You felt so good, and you sounded so delicious, you looked fucking beautiful… you fulfilled several of my fantasies tonight.” He chuckled. 

“Good.” Hwa sounded tired, but happy. “You’re perfect, Hongjoong. You made me feel so good. I’ve never… I’ve never done that before.”

“Done what?” Was Seonghwa a virgin?! Hongjoong thought he might pass out, and immense worry spread through him.

“Cum untouched. I didn’t think it was possible, but then you did make me have an orgasm on Thanksgiving without your hand too. You must be a magical unicorn.”

Hongjoong chuckled, feeling very relieved. “Nah, I’m just getting lucky.”

“If that’s what you want to call your talent, sure.” Seonghwa moved his leg and it bumped against Joong’s lessening erection and he pulled his head back to look in the brown haired man’s eyes. 

“No.” Hongjoong shook his head. “I’m not worried about it, and we can ignore it.” 

“Are you-are you sure?” Seonghwa looked as if he wanted to say more, but he kept his lips sealed. 

“I’m sure, babe, you gave me so much tonight, I don’t think I can handle anything else.” 

Seonghwa smiled fondly at him, pressing his lips to the tip of Hongjoong’s nose. “Okay. Do you want to stay the night?”

“I’d love to.”

Several hours later, the pair were snuggled together in Seonghwa’s bed sleeping soundly. Hongjoong had removed his jeans, but kept his shirt and underwear on, while Seonghwa had put on underwear again, but kept the rest of his body on display… which had nearly resulted in Hongjoong coming undone before they fell asleep. He was holding onto Seonghwa, snuggled against the man’s back, in a very dead sleep when sudden pinging noises rained down through the room. He blinked several times as he came to, trying to understand what he was hearing. Seonghwa mumbled something, but was clearly not fully awake. 

The more awake Hongjoong became, the more he realized he knew that sound. It was his notification sound. What the fuck. He rolled over to the other side of the bed, where his phone was now resting, and looked at it, lowering the brightness as he opened it. 

“What is that?” Hwa’s sleep filled voice spoke behind him. 

Hongjoong groaned as he realized it was his father fucking sending out dated memes at 3:19 in the morning. “Nothing baby, go back to sleep.” Joong spoke in a hushed tone as he turned his phone off and rolled back over to hold his boyfriend again.

Chapter Text

The early morning light filtered softly through the curtains, casting a golden glow across the room. Hongjoong stirred first, his eyes fluttering open to the quiet stillness of Seonghwa’s bedroom. The world outside was muted, the faint rustle of wind against the window the only sound breaking the silence.

Seonghwa lay curled against him, his breathing slow and even, one arm draped lazily across Hongjoong’s chest. His face was relaxed, framed by strands of black hair that fell messily over his forehead. Hongjoong couldn’t help but smile at the sight, warmth blooming in his chest as he traced the line of Seonghwa’s cheekbone with his gaze, careful not to disturb him.

The faint scent of Seonghwa’s cologne lingered in the air, mingling with the comforting smell of freshly laundered sheets. The room was cozy, filled with little details that spoke of Seonghwa’s personality: the few stuffed animals dotted around his room, the string of soft yellow fairy lights draped along the headboard, and the faint hum of a clock ticking somewhere on the wall.

Hongjoong shifted slightly, his fingers brushing gently against Seonghwa’s arm where it rested on him. He wanted to savor this moment, the peace, the closeness, the rare opportunity to see Seonghwa so unguarded. Hongjoong’s usual nervous energy was replaced by a quiet contentment that he wished could stretch on forever.

As if sensing the thought, Seonghwa stirred, his head nuzzling closer to Hongjoong’s shoulder before his eyes blinked open slowly. His voice was soft, still thick with sleep, as he murmured, “What time is it?”

“Early,” Hongjoong whispered, his fingers grazing Seonghwa’s hair. “Go back to sleep.”

Seonghwa sighed, his lips curving into a small smile as he buried his face against Hongjoong. “Wish you didn’t have to work today.”

The words were mumbled, almost an afterthought, but they sent a quiet thrill through Hongjoong. He hadn’t wanted to leave either, not when the morning felt like this, soft and perfect, as though the rest of the world didn’t exist.

“Maybe I won’t,” Hongjoong said after a moment, his voice light but sincere. He tilted his head to press a kiss to Seonghwa’s hair. “I could call in.”

Seonghwa lifted his head just enough to look at him, his eyes warm with affection. “Really?”

“Really,” Hongjoong replied, grinning. “I don’t think work will mind if I take one day to stay here with you.”

Seonghwa’s smile widened, his hand curling against Hongjoong’s chest. “I like the sound of that.”

Hongjoong smiled as he stared up at the ceiling. He could certainly get used to waking up next to Park Fucking Seonghwa. Memories of the previous night didn’t bring about his usual anxiety either, so he called that a major win. Joong brought his hand up to hold Hwa’s as it rested on his chest, earning him a hum of contentment. Yes, Hongjoong was definitely calling in. A nice and lazy morning with his boyfriend, who just also happened to be his idol, sounded wonderful to the man. With Seonghwa pressed against him, Joong’s other arm was wrapped around the singer. He allowed his hand to trail up and down the man’s back, heart quickening at the sensation of Hwa’s smooth skin against his fingers. This was his reality. He had met his ult bias, they had become friends, they had gone on dates, and now they were over a month into a committed and serious relationship. Fuck, he had gotten the world’s best blow job from Park Fucking Seonghwa the night before, and then had spent time fingering the idol to a touchless orgasm. While Hongjoong didn’t understand how any of this was possible, or how it had all happened (and he had lived through it), he was so incredibly thankful for all of it. 

There was nothing he would change.

Especially not when Seonghwa sighed again, his warm breath suddenly being felt on Hongjoong’s neck before the singer reached up to press his lips against the same spot. He didn’t stop there either, creating a wave of kisses across Joong’s neck as he carelessly climbed on top of Hongjoong without breaking his lips from the man’s skin. Hongjoong didn’t try to stop him, more than happy to let Seonghwa have whatever he wanted. “Do you want to join me in the shower?” He whispered so seductively into Joong’s ear that the retail worker nearly came unglued. Seonghwa must have noticed some sort of visceral reaction because he pulled back with a chuckle. “No funny business… unless you want funny business of course.” He laughed again, a very subtle roll of his hips creating friction between the pair. 

Hongjoong reached his hands up to grasp the idol’s waist, massaging the skin. “Maybe I want funny business.” He grinned, finding his confidence all over again. He didn’t know where it had been hiding, but the previous night seemed to have broken through some of his barriers. Hongjoong was thankful for it too, as he was very unsure of himself before his dominant personality returned. He just hoped it stayed around and didn’t get scared off again. 

Seonghwa mirrored the grin, leaning back down once again. “What kind of funny business, my Joongie?”

“The kind that gets you begging.” Hongjoong retorted without thinking, and a smirk appeared on his lips as he spoke. Though his triumph only lasted a few seconds before mortification wiped the smirk right off of his face. “I mean, if-if you want to. I-I um, I don’t need that. Fuck, did I cross a line?”

The sudden reaction from Seonghwa though, told him he had said precisely the right thing. The idol suddenly grabbed Joong’s wrist and brought his arms above his head, holding them there with one hand as he leaned his weight onto Joong, pinning him to the bed. His gaze flickered over Hongjoong’s face and eyes, breath coming in heavy bursts. “No, you definitely did not cross a line. More of the first part… please.” The word sounded out in a sigh. “God that was-that was incredibly hot.”

Hongjoong once again felt his flames of pride being fanned. Seonghwa liked him being dominant and confident? God, were they a match made in heaven? The salesman had been trying so hard to hold back on that part of himself, afraid that it would scare Seonghwa off, or worse, disgust him. Kinks weren’t something they had talked about, mostly because Joong refused to bring up the subject. After the previous night though, he was beginning to see that Hwa was not the vanilla, sweet and innocent cinnamon roll Hongjoong had thought he would be. He had a spicy side, and perhaps he wanted Joong to explore it with him. 

“Oh was it? Then maybe we should get into your bathroom already, hmm?” His smirk returned. “We both know that I can get you to beg just with my fingers, but I wonder what my tongue might do for you.”

Seonghwa’s eyelids dropped to a close as he sighed once more, this time it was drawn out on a shuttered breath. He was nodding his head as he climbed off of Joong and stood up, looking rather dazed. “Let me just-just grab a change of clothes.” He took one single step towards his dresser before there was a knock on the door. Or rather, someone pounding on it. 

“You two better not be boinking! We want breakfast!” Wooyoung’s unmistakable teasing voice was heard loud and clear through the door and Hongjoong couldn’t help but groan.

Okay, so maybe he would change one thing. 

Wooyoung being a gremlin.

Hongjoong just wanted to give his boyfriend a good orgasm to start the day off with, was that so much to ask for?

Seonghwa glanced over his shoulder at Hongjoong with a frown on his face. “Rainy check?”

“Rain check.” Hongjoong nodded, correcting his boyfriend as he climbed out of bed to face the members of AURAGE… and call into work of course.

⧭

Wooyoung’s laughter rang out, unfiltered and unabashed, as he leaned back in his chair, a piece of toast dangling precariously from his hand. “Come on, Hwa,” he said between bites, his grin mischievous. “You can’t tell me you two didn’t—”

“Wooyoung!” Seonghwa cut him off, his cheeks glowing a furious pink. Across the table, Hongjoong was no better, ducking his head as he tried, and failed, to hide his own embarrassment behind his coffee mug.

“Do you ever stop?” Yunho asked, his voice dry as he fixed Wooyoung with one of his trademark glares. It was meant to be intimidating, but the effect was somewhat lost given his disheveled appearance. His hair stuck out in every direction, and his oversized sweater only added to his frazzled dad energy.

“Not when it’s this fun,” Wooyoung replied cheerfully, waggling his eyebrows in Seonghwa’s direction.

Mingi, who had been half asleep until now, perked up just enough to throw in, “To be fair, they do blush a lot. It’s like free entertainment.”

“You’re not helping,” Seonghwa muttered, his hand twitching toward the nearest object, a spoon, but Hongjoong’s soft laugh stopped him.

“They’re not wrong,” Hongjoong admitted, his own face still tinged with pink. “You are kind of fun to tease.”

“In what way do you find teasing our Hwa to be fun, Hongjoong?” Wooyoung once again waggled his brows.

Seonghwa shot Hongjoong a betrayed look, but before he could retaliate, San stood abruptly, chair scraping against the floor. “That’s enough,” he said, grabbing Wooyoung by the collar of his sweater. “You’re doing the dishes.”

“What? Why me?” Wooyoung squawked, flailing slightly as San dragged him toward the kitchen. “I’m the life of this breakfast! They need me!”

“They need peace and quiet,” San deadpanned, unceremoniously shoving him through the kitchen doorway. “Now get to work.”

The room fell blessedly silent, save for the faint clatter of dishes from the kitchen and Wooyoung’s muffled complaints. Mingi, now fully awake, snorted into his coffee. “Remind me not to get on San’s bad side.”

“Noted,” Yunho muttered, rubbing his temples. “Why do we let him have coffee again?”

Seonghwa sighed, shaking his head as he leaned against Hongjoong, who reached out to squeeze his hand under the table. “Remind me why I invited them to stay.”

“Because you secretly love it,” Hongjoong said, his tone warm and teasing.

Seonghwa groaned but didn’t deny it, his lips curving into a faint smile. Across the table, Mingi watched the exchange with a knowing look, but for once, he kept his comments to himself, choosing instead to sip his coffee in peace.

Once everyone was finished with breakfast, the group absconded downstairs to argue over who got to shower first, and to get ready for the day. They left Hongjoong and Seonghwa in relative peace, sitting at the dining room table, hands clasped together under the table. Hwa leaned his head down onto Hongjoong’s shoulder. A comfortable silence hummed through the air, the chaos once again having left their vicinity. 

After a few minutes though, Joong spoke up. “I should probably head home so I can take a shower and change my clothes, then head back over here.”

Hwa picked his head up so he could look at Hongjoong. “Oh, are you planning to spend the day with us?” There was a look of hope and happiness in his eyes. 

“Well, yeah.” Hongjoong chuckled, feeling nervous suddenly. “I called my manager already and told him I was sick. You did say you wished I didn’t have to work today.” 

Seonghwa beamed, leaning forward to press a quick tea tasting kiss to Hongjoong’s lips. “When did you call in? You’re sneaky.”

Joong laughed again, moving in his seat so that he was facing his boyfriend. “When you were in the shower.” A faint tinge colored his cheeks as he was reminded of their previous conversation. His confidence seemingly only wanted to come around when he was turned on. 

“Thank you, Hongjoong.”

“For what?” The brown haired man was very confused. 

“Being here. I feel like I’m living a dream, having you and my brothers in the same room is everything I’ve wanted for months now.”

The weight of the singer’s words sunk into Hongjoong’s skin, leaving a tingling sensation across his body. “Thank you for inviting me to meet them.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Hwa’s forehead. “Thank you for taking a chance with me.” Another kiss was pressed to the idol’s nose. “Thank you for being in my life.” The final kiss was delivered to Seonghwa’s lips, which had turned upwards in a smile that Hongjoong could only feel but not see.

When they broke apart, Seonghwa’s smile remained. “You have no idea how much you mean to me, but I hope in time I can show you enough for the realization to happen.”

More heavy feelings had Hongjoong feeling warm all over. “What are you doing for Christmas?” It wasn’t what he meant to ask or say, but the heavy words put his thoughts squarely on the gift he was working on for Seonghwa. Something that was filled with even more heaviness, meaningfulness, and… love. 

“I don’t have any plans.” The black haired man smirked. “Why?”

“I was hoping to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with you, beautiful.” He felt a bit more bold, putting aside his usual nervousness to let his hand cup Seonghwa’s face. The exquisitely soft golden skin under his fingertips made his heart beat faster. 

“I would love that!” Seonghwa proclaimed loudly, rushing forward to pull Hongjoong into a tight hug. There was no complaint from the wannabe producer. 

⧭

The drive back home was quiet, the streets still waking up under the soft morning light. Hongjoong couldn’t shake the warmth that lingered from Seonghwa’s embrace, the way his words had settled deep in his chest like an anchor.

As he stepped through the door of his home, the comforting familiarity of his space greeted him. It felt a little emptier than usual after the lively chaos of Seonghwa’s house, but it gave him room to think.

He tossed his keys onto the counter and headed for the bedroom, pulling out a fresh outfit before setting it on the bed. His thoughts wandered as he moved, Seonghwa’s smile still vivid in his mind. Meeting AURAGE had been a whirlwind, but in the best way possible. The teasing, the laughter, and the quiet reassurances, it had all left him feeling accepted in a way he hadn’t fully expected. Before he trotted off to the shower, he jotted down a few more ideas for his gift for Seonghwa, feeling incredibly moved and inspired by the man’s previous words. 

He perhaps spent too much time working on it, consumed by his creative spark. By the time he looked at the clock, an entire hour had passed. “Shit.” Hongjoong hurriedly moved back to his bedroom to head to his en suite bathroom. The shower once again reminded him of conversations he had had in the early hours of the morning. That memory morphing into the night he had had before the sun kissed his skin. 

What he had done with Seonghwa the night before still played like an endless movie loop in his mind.. Away from his boyfriend he could feel his stomach flipping and a little bit of unease and worry trickling in, but ultimately he didn’t feel too nervous about it. Seonghwa had seemingly loved all of it, and that put Hongjoong’s mind at ease. Mostly anyway. The memories also stirred his desire up, which he fervently ignored, especially as his attempts to ignore passion and lust led him to thinking about someone that didn’t bring such feelings.

Yeosang.

Hongjoong smiled to himself as he grabbed a towel and stepped into the shower. Yeosang would lose his mind if he knew the full extent of the brown haired man’s past 24 hours. Meeting AURAGE had been Yeosang’s ultimate dream for years but meeting them at the meet and greet had clearly not been enough, and his obsession with Wooyoung—and, to a lesser degree, San—was something Jongho never stopped teasing him about.

But this wasn’t about just fulfilling a fan’s dream. Yeosang was Hongjoong’s best friend, the person who’d been by his side through everything. Jongho might poke fun at Yeosang’s celebrity crushes, but he always tagged along, grounding Yeosang’s excitement with his quiet humor. Hongjoong couldn’t imagine introducing one without the other.

He had already asked his boyfriend multiple times about Yeosang meeting AURAGE. Seonghwa had listened patiently but explained that he wanted AURAGE to meet Hongjoong first. It wasn’t just about introductions; it was about making sure they were all comfortable. They were on vacation, after all, and Seonghwa hadn’t been sure if they’d want to meet a big fan during their time off.

But now that the hardest part was over, Hongjoong wondered if it was time. Seonghwa’s brothers had embraced him, chaotically, but warmly, and maybe they’d welcome Yeosang too. He didn’t want to push, though. This wasn’t just about him. It was about Seonghwa, about respecting the dynamic he had with his group.

The hot water rolled over his skin, and Joong let his thoughts drift. He’d wait for the right moment to bring it up. For now, he’d focus on making the most of the day ahead.

By the time he was dressed and ready, Hongjoong felt more grounded. He glanced at the clock, then grabbed his phone to send a quick text to Seonghwa.

Hongjoong:
Made it home. Showered and ready to head back. Should I grab anything on the way?

The reply came almost instantly.

My Boyfriend:
Just you. ❤️

Hongjoong:
You want me to grab myself? Well damn babe.

He just couldn’t help himself. The previous night had definitely unlocked his confidence again. 

My Boyfriend:
Oh my god lol no! I mean…
Yes? But like, only if I’m there to help
😚

Hongjoong read the text, laughing as he did. God he felt like a horny teenager. The thought of going further with Seonghwa was on his mind for sure, but he still didn’t think he wanted to take the step just yet. Soon. Very very soon. But first he really wanted to find out more about his boyfriend’s kinks before they dove too far into the deep end. He shook his head with his smile still present, slipping his phone into his pocket as he grabbed his jacket. As he locked the door behind him, the thought of Yeosang lingered in his mind, another reason to not allow himself to get distracted. 

⧭

Hongjoong pulled into the driveway, parking his Jeep in the same spot he’d occupied the night before. The house was quiet, a stark contrast to the lively chaos of breakfast earlier. He let out a small sigh, steadying himself before grabbing the small bag he’d packed for the day and heading to the front door.

The warmth of the house greeted him as Seonghwa opened the door before Hongjoong could even knock. “You’re back!” Seonghwa said, his smile radiant as he pulled Hongjoong inside and wrapped him in a quick hug.

“You act like I’ve been gone for a week,” Hongjoong teased, though he melted into the embrace. He loved the excitement and happiness Hwa showed him. It warmed his heart in ways that made him feel lighter, just from knowing that his idol, his bias, his boyfriend , missed him, cared for him and genuinely enjoyed his company. 

“Felt like it,” Seonghwa replied, his voice soft against Hongjoong’s ear before pulling back. “Come on, the others are still getting ready. We’ve got a little time to ourselves.”

Seonghwa led him into the living room, where the Christmas lights from the night before were still glowing faintly. They settled onto the couch, Seonghwa curling close to Hongjoong with a content sigh.

For a few moments, they sat in comfortable silence, Seonghwa’s fingers idly playing with the hem of Hongjoong’s sleeve. But Hongjoong’s thoughts were elsewhere, swirling with the idea he’d been mulling over since the drive home. He was just worried about bringing it up again, afraid that he might push too far.

“Hwa?” Hongjoong began, his voice tentative.

Seonghwa hummed, looking up at him. “What is it?”

“There’s something I wanted to ask,” Hongjoong said, his gaze flickering to the soft glow of the Christmas lights before meeting Seonghwa’s. “It’s about Yeosang.”

Seonghwa tilted his head slightly, curiosity sparking in his eyes. “What about him?”

“Well,” Hongjoong started, fiddling with the zipper on his bag, eyes watching his actions instead of looking at Seonghwa. “He’s been such a huge part of my life, you know? He’s my best friend. And he’s… kind of the biggest Halo I know.” He let out a nervous laugh. “I was thinking it might be nice for him to meet them. You know, AURAGE.”

Seonghwa’s expression softened, his hand covering Hongjoong’s to still his nervous movements. “You’ve mentioned this before,” he said gently. “And I did say I’d bring it up with the others.”

“I know,” Hongjoong said quickly, turning to face his boyfriend again, “and I didn’t want to push or anything. I just… seeing how welcoming they’ve been with me, I thought maybe they’d be okay with it. And Yeosang… he’d lose his mind if he knew I was even asking.”

Seonghwa smiled, his thumb brushing over the back of Hongjoong’s hand. “You really care about him.”

“Of course I do,” Hongjoong said earnestly. “He’s been there for me through everything. And I know he’d get along with them. Jongho too.”

“Jongho is a Halo?” Seonghwa asked, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

Hongjoong chuckled, his nerves settling under Seonghwa’s steady gaze. “He’s not as crazy about AURAGE as Yeosang, but he did go to the concert and meet and greet. I can’t really say he is a Halo, or a Stan, he likes the music well enough, and he’d come along to keep Yeosang from fainting or doing something embarrassing.”

Seonghwa laughed softly, leaning his head against Hongjoong’s shoulder. “I’ll talk to them,” he promised. “I think it’ll be fine. But I want to make sure they’re comfortable with it first.”

“Thank you,” Hongjoong said, relief washing over him. He turned slightly to press a kiss to Seonghwa’s temple. “For always being so understanding.”

Seonghwa tilted his head up, his eyes warm and affectionate. “Thank you for trusting me.”

The two melted into each other as their lips were drawn forward until they were touching. Hongjoong felt Seonghwa tighten his fingers around the hold he had on the wannabe producer’s hand. It wasn’t a hurried or heated kiss, it was soft and filled with emotions that could nearly be tasted, not a sound gracing their minds as they connected so effortlessly. 

The quiet moment between them lingered until Wooyoung’s voice broke through from downstairs, yelling something about someone stealing his socks. Seonghwa groaned, breaking the kiss, pressing his face into Hongjoong’s shoulder. “And here I thought we’d have more than five minutes of peace.”

Hongjoong chuckled, wrapping an arm around Seonghwa. “This must be what it is like to have kids.”

“It really is,” Seonghwa murmured, though his tone was laced with fondness.

⧭

Seonghwa and Hongjoong found AURAGE scattered across the den, each member sprawled out in various states of relaxation. Mingi was half asleep on the couch, legs thrown over the armrest while Wooyoung sat cross legged on the floor, scrolling through his phone. Yunho was the only one showing any semblance of energy, setting up a game system with San, who looked like he’d rather be anywhere else.

Seonghwa cleared his throat, drawing their attention. “Guys, we need to talk.”

“Uh oh,” Wooyoung said, looking up with a mock serious expression. “When you say it like that, it sounds like we’re in trouble.”

“Maybe you are,” Seonghwa replied, but the small smirk on his face gave him away.

Hongjoong smiled nervously, standing just behind Seonghwa. “It’s not bad. It’s… more of a question.”

Mingi cracked one eye open. “A question? At this hour? That sounds like work.”

“It’s nearing noon, Mingi,” Yunho said without looking up. “Most people have been functioning for hours.”

“Your definition of functioning is subjective,” Mingi shot back before waving a hand. “Ask away, though. I’m all ears.”

Seonghwa glanced at Hongjoong, silently encouraging him. Hongjoong had been hoping that his boyfriend would do all of the talking, but clearly Hwa wanted him to take the lead (in all things). Taking a breath, Hongjoong stepped forward. “I was wondering if you’d be okay meeting someone close to me. My best friend, Yeosang.”

There was a beat of silence before Wooyoung sat up straight, his eyes narrowing. “Wait a second. Yeosang? The Yeosang ?”

Hongjoong blinked. “Uh… yes?” Though honestly he didn’t know if Wooyoung was talking about the same Yeosang or not. 

“As in the Yeosang who’s a massive Halo?” Wooyoung continued, his grin growing wider by the second. “My number one fan?”

“Your only fan,” San muttered, earning a glare from Wooyoung.

“Not true,” Wooyoung snapped before turning back to Hongjoong. “He’s your best friend? Why am I just hearing about this now?”

“Probably because you were too busy teasing him to let him tell you,” Seonghwa said dryly.

Hongjoong was shocked to say the least, even with the crazy banter and teasing between the group members. Wooyoung knew about Yeosang?! How?! Okay yes, Joong was well aware of the youtube channel and tiktoks, instagram, etc accounts that Yeosang had. They were all dedicated to Wooyoung and AURAGE. Reaction videos, following the choreography of every song that had any, sharing his thoughts on the lore, etc. Sometimes Hongjoong thought Yeosang would go full time with his side social media gigs, but he still held down his job as a masseuse alongside his social media insanity. Finding out that Wooyoung knew of Yeosang was crazy though. 

Sure sure, Yeosang had a pretty good following of fellow Halo’s, and one time Mingi had retweeted one of Sangie’s posts (which had nearly sent Yeosang to the moon), the chances of them actually knowing who he was were insane! 

Hongjoong had to force himself back into the here and now, listening to Wooyoung who was thrilled with the idea of meeting Yeosang. 

Wooyoung who was busy ignoring the jabs from his members, his excitement barely contained. “Of course I want to meet him! What about you guys?” He turned to the others.

Yunho shrugged, looking thoughtful. “If he’s important to Joong, then sure. I don’t see why not.”

San, clearly uninterested in Wooyoung’s theatrics, raised a brow. “Doesn’t he have a boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Hongjoong said quickly, already anticipating where this was going. “Jongho. He’d come too.”

Wooyoung’s grin faltered slightly. “Wait, so Yeosang is bringing a chaperone? That’s no fun.”

“He’s not a chaperone,” Hongjoong said, fighting back a laugh. “Jongho is just… grounded. He keeps Yeosang in check.”

“Sounds like he’s already tired,” Mingi said, earning a laugh from Yunho.

Seonghwa stepped in, his voice steady. “Look, it’s not a big deal. Yeosang and Jongho won’t overstep, they’re just fans who happen to be close to Joongie.”

“Close fans,” Wooyoung corrected, winking. “Don’t forget, I’m his bias.”

San groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “This is going to be insufferable.”

“You’re just jealous,” Wooyoung said with a smug grin, a heated glance being sent toward San. Hongjoong once again thought on the rumors of them being in a relationship. They argued like an old married couple, and teased one another more than was probably acceptable to most people. Was it all a front to try and squish those rumors, or were they together and their constant teasing and pretend annoyance with one another their love language?

Yunho clapped his hands together, pulling Joong out of his questions, and silencing the brewing argument. “Alright, let’s keep it simple. If they’re important to Joong, they’re important to us. We’ll meet them.”

“Thank you,” Hongjoong said, relief evident in his voice. Yeosang was going to be so excited!

“But,” Yunho added, his gaze shifting to Wooyoung and Mingi, “no weird initiation rituals. And definitely no pranks.”

Wooyoung gasped, looking scandalized. “You wound me, leader nim.”

“You’ll live,” Yunho replied flatly.

As the group dissolved into their usual banter, Seonghwa leaned toward Hongjoong, his voice low. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

Hongjoong smiled, his fingers brushing against Seonghwa’s. “Not bad at all.”

⧭

After getting AURAGE’s confirmation that they’d be willing to meet Yeosang, Hongjoong headed back upstairs to text his friend.

He leaned against the kitchen counter, phone in hand, as he typed out a quick message.

Hongjoong:
Hey, you and Jongho free today? Got something fun planned. Come to this address.
Attachment: Seonghwa’s house location.

It only took a moment before the reply came in.

Sangie:
Fun? What kind of fun? 👀

Hongjoong:
Just trust me. You’ll love it.

Sangie:
You better not be dragging me into some weird hiking trip again. 😒

Hongjoong:
No hiking. Promise. Just get here. Bring Jongho.

Sangie: Fiiiine. Be there soon.

Hongjoong chuckled, pocketing his phone and heading back downstairs to the chaos. “They’re on their way.” He announced with a grin, looking around the room at the various members. 

Seonghwa smiled, glancing up from where he was arranging some snacks on the coffee table. “You didn’t tell him what it’s about, did you?”

“Not a word,” Hongjoong assured him. “I want it to be a surprise.”

The plan was made quickly, with everyone’s excitement growing by the minute. AURAGE, Wooyoung in particular, was vibrating with happiness as various plans were tossed about and quickly forgotten in favor of others. In the end they decided on a simple approach. 

It wasn’t long before the sound of a car pulling into the driveway reached them. Hongjoong moved to the front door just as Yeosang and Jongho walked up the steps. Yeosang was practically bouncing on his heels, his excitement barely contained, while Jongho trailed behind with a bemused expression.

“About time,” Yeosang said, grinning as Hongjoong opened the door. “What’s this all about?”

“You’ll see,” Hongjoong replied, stepping aside to let them in. “Come on in.”

As they entered, Seonghwa greeted them warmly, his presence immediately calming Jongho, who offered a polite smile. Yeosang, however, was already looking around, his curiosity evident as he slipped his shoes off upon seeing the various shoes piled up at the door.

“This place is so nice,” Yeosang said, his eyes lighting up. “Wait… is this Seonghwa’s house?”

Hongjoong only grinned, clapping a hand on Jongho’s shoulder. “Can I borrow you for a second?” he asked, steering him toward the kitchen. “Just need to fill you in real quick.”

Jongho frowned slightly but nodded. “Sure.”

Once they were out of earshot, Hongjoong explained the plan, keeping his voice low. “We’ve got a surprise for Yeosang. AURAGE is here. They’re all downstairs waiting to meet him.”

Jongho blinked, processing the words. “You’re serious?”

“Completely,” Hongjoong said. “He’s going to lose it, and I need you to help keep him from… well, you know.”

“Passing out?” Jongho offered dryly, his lips twitching into a faint smile. “Yeah, I’ll handle him. Might be the last chance I get. There is a 99% chance that he is going to leave me for Wooyoung, and an 85% chance he will leave me for San.”

Hongjoong chuckled and shook his head. “No way man, he loves you. Just keep him standing up and he’ll probably thank you properly tonight.”

Jongho grinned at that, standing taller and puffing his chest out. “I will keep him on his feet.”

“Thanks,” Hongjoong said, patting him on the back. “Let’s do this.”

Back in the living room, Yeosang was mid conversation with Seonghwa, gesturing animatedly about something. Hongjoong was so excited, and it was hard to keep his emotions at bay. He just knew that Yeosang was going to be shocked but happy, and Joong would be there to see his reaction, to have made such a huge dream come true for his best friend. Honestly he was thinking of telling Sangie that meeting AURAGE, in Montrose and not at a fan meet and greet, was his Christmas gift. 

As the pair approached Yeosang and Seonghwa, Hongjoong clapped his hands together. “Alright, let’s head downstairs. We’ve got a little surprise for you, Sangie.”

Yeosang raised an eyebrow but followed willingly, curiosity piqued. “You’re being way too cryptic. What is this?”

“You’ll see,” Seonghwa said with a small smile, guiding him toward the den. “But first, you need to cover your eyes.”

“Cover my eyes?” Yeosang repeated, his skepticism evident. “What kind of surprise is this?”

“Just do it,” Jongho said, nudging him gently. “Trust them.”

With a dramatic sigh, Yeosang complied, covering his eyes with both hands. “If this is some elaborate prank, I’m suing.”

Hongjoong laughed, leading him down the stairs carefully. “It’s not a prank. Promise.”

Once they reached the den, AURAGE was already in position, lounging casually but with barely concealed anticipation. Wooyoung, in particular, looked like he was ready to burst. Hongjoong moved his friend into the middle of the room. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Jongho’s silent bows of greeting to the members. Ever the respectful one. 

“Alright, Yeosang,” Joong said, his voice full of amusement. “You can open your eyes.”

Yeosang dropped his hands and froze.

The room seemed to still for a moment as his brain processed what he was seeing: AURAGE, all of them, right there in the flesh. Wooyoung waved with a cheeky grin, leaning back like a king on his throne.

“Surprise,” Wooyoung said, his voice teasing.

Yeosang’s mouth opened, closed, and then opened again. “Oh my god,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “Oh my god.”

“Breathe, babe,” Jongho said, resting a steadying hand on his shoulder.

“I’m breathing,” Yeosang squeaked, though his eyes were still wide. “It’s them. It’s really them.”

Wooyoung stood, striding forward with all the confidence of a performer on stage. “The one and only,” he said, extending a hand. “And you must be Yeosang, my number one fan.”

That was all it took. Yeosang let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob, his hands flying to his face as he tried, and failed, to keep it together. “This isn’t happening,” he muttered. “I’m dreaming.”

“Not a dream,” Mingi said from the couch, grinning. “But it’s about to get real interesting.”

Yeosang lowered his hands slowly, his face a mixture of awe and disbelief. “I… I don’t even know what to say.”

“Start with ‘hello,’” San suggested dryly, though there was a flicker of amusement in his tone. He remained comfortably seated, sipping from a mug that Hongjoong suspected was coffee.

“H-hello,” Yeosang stammered, his gaze darting between each member. “This is-wow, this is surreal.”

Wooyoung smirked, crossing his arms. “You’re doing great so far. Don’t pass out, and we’re golden.”

“Wooyoung,” Seonghwa warned, though his gentle tone took the sting out of the words.

Yeosang’s eyes darted to San briefly, and Hongjoong could practically see the internal meltdown happening as his best friend realized he was sitting in the same room with not just his bias but also his bias wrecker. The last time Yeosang had been this close to them was two years ago, during the fan meet and greet after the concert. It had been brief, a few minutes of small talk and handshakes before the line had moved on, but this? This was something else entirely.

“I mean… I met you all once, kind of,” Yeosang said, his voice shaking slightly. “But this is, this is so different.”

“Definitely different,” San agreed, arching a brow. “Less fluorescent lighting.”

“And no security guards,” Mingi added, grinning. “Not that we needed them for you.”

Jongho leaned closer to Yeosang, murmuring under his breath, “Breathe, Sangie love. You’ve got this.”

Yeosang nodded, his fingers gripping Jongho’s hand as if it were the only thing grounding him. “Okay. I’m good. I think.”

Mingi leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “So, what’s it like being Wooyoung’s biggest fan? Honest answers only.”

“It’s exhausting,” Jongho interjected before Yeosang could respond, his tone flat but teasing. “Do you know how many choreographies I’ve had to record for his TikToks?”

Yeosang gasped, spinning toward him. “You said you enjoyed those!”

“I lied,” Jongho said with a smirk, though the humor in his eyes said he was joking.

Wooyoung clapped his hands together, clearly reveling in the moment. “This is amazing. I feel so validated right now.”

“You already get enough validation,” Yunho muttered, leaning back against the armrest. “Let him breathe, Woo.”

“No, no,” Yeosang interjected quickly, waving his hands. “This is great. It’s… everything. Meeting you all like this, it’s more than I ever imagined.”

“You imagined meeting us in a relaxed setting?” Wooyoung asked, his grin widening. “How’d it go in your head?”

“Wooyoung,” Seonghwa cut in, shaking his head.

Yeosang blushed furiously, his gaze flickering briefly to San, who remained quiet but observant. “It wasn’t like this.”

“Let’s give him a break,” Hongjoong said, stepping in with a chuckle. “He’s been through enough for one day.”

Wooyoung pouted but relented, though not without a dramatic sigh. “Fine. But only because I like him already.”

As the group settled into casual banter, Yeosang’s nerves slowly began to ease, though his awe remained evident in every glance. For Hongjoong, it was a moment of quiet pride, to see his best friend welcomed into this chaotic but loving fold. He was ever so thankful to AURAGE for agreeing to meet his best friend. There was no way he’d ever be able to repay them for their kindness and acceptance, not just of him, but of Sangie too. 

The rest of the day was spent with AURAGE, a nice day in Hwa’s house where chaos livened the walls and allowed the home to soak in the memories being created. Wooyoung and Yeosang hit it off very well, and Jongho quietly lamented over the loss of his boyfriend to anyone that would listen. Wooyoung’s antics had everyone laughing, and Yeosang offered to help in cooking dinner, which resulted in mostly Woo and Sangie doing all of it and pushing everyone else out. The masseuse had managed to work out all of his nervous energy by the time everyone was sitting down together. 

Hongjoong took a moment to sit and observe the people at the table as everyone dug into their meal. It felt like… home, family, friends. They all fit together so well, and he had never felt so comfortable or accepted in such a large group before. 

As laughter rippled around the table, Hongjoong felt a gentle nudge against his foot. He glanced up to find Seonghwa watching him, his smile soft and full of affection. It was the kind of look that seemed to hold a thousand unspoken words, each one wrapping around Hongjoong like a warm embrace.

“Thank you,” Seonghwa murmured, his voice just low enough to be heard over the chatter.

“For what?” Hongjoong asked, leaning slightly closer. They had shared a lot of ‘thank yous’ throughout the day, each one holding so much meaning and importance in the two simple words. Joong couldn’t imagine what he had done to earn another one.

Seonghwa’s gaze swept across the table, taking in the sight of Wooyoung and Yeosang trading jokes, San and Jongho sharing a knowing look, and Yunho attempting to mediate between Mingi and a debate about the best dessert. His eyes returned to Hongjoong’s, shining with quiet gratitude.

“For bringing them into this,” he said softly. “For being here. For… everything.”

Hongjoong’s chest tightened, the weight of Seonghwa’s words sinking deep. He reached under the table, letting his hand find Seonghwa’s and squeezing gently. “You don’t have to thank me for that. This-” he gestured subtly toward the group, “-this is everything I didn’t know I needed. And it’s all because of you.”

Seonghwa’s smile widened, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “You mean so much to me, Joongie. I hope you know that.”

Before Hongjoong could respond, Wooyoung’s voice broke through, loud and teasing as always. “Look at these two lovebirds! Whispering sweet nothings while the rest of us are starving.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes, but the corners of his lips twitched upward. “Maybe if you weren’t inhaling your food, you’d notice everyone’s still eating.”

Wooyoung gasped in mock offense, clutching his chest dramatically. “You wound me, Hwa. I was complimenting you.”

Yeosang chimed in with a laugh, “I think you just wanted to shift the spotlight back to yourself.”

“I don’t need to shift it,” Wooyoung shot back with a wink. “I am the spotlight.”

The table erupted into laughter, and Hongjoong found himself laughing along, the earlier tenderness between him and Seonghwa now blending seamlessly into the warmth of the group. In that moment, everything felt right: chaos, love, and all.

⧭

The sky was painted in hues of deep blue and soft purple as dinner wound down, the lively banter slowly giving way to a quieter, more reflective mood. Hongjoong glanced at the time on his phone and sighed softly, knowing the moment he had been dreading was finally here.

“I should get going,” he said reluctantly, his gaze flicking to Seonghwa.

Seonghwa’s expression faltered for just a moment before he forced a small smile. “You’ve got work in the morning, huh?”

“Yeah,” Hongjoong said, rising from his chair. “But I’ll come by as soon as I’m off, okay?”

Seonghwa nodded, his smile turning warmer. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Yeosang and Jongho stood as well, sensing it was time to leave. The goodbyes began as AURAGE crowded around, the group exchanging hugs and promises to keep in touch. Wooyoung, predictably, made it dramatic.

“Don’t cry too much, Seonghwa,” Wooyoung teased as he pulled Seonghwa into a tight hug. “We’ll text you hourly if you need to help you get through Joongie’s departure.”

“I’ll cry if you text me hourly,” Seonghwa shot back, though his voice was laced with affection.

San gave Yeosang a subtle nod of approval before turning to Jongho with a smirk. “Keep him grounded, Coach. He’s got enough energy to power a city.”

Jongho chuckled, offering a firm handshake. “I’ll do my best.”

As the group lingered in the foyer, Hongjoong exchanged a quiet look with Seonghwa, the weight of the impending parting hanging between them. Seonghwa stepped closer, his hand brushing against Hongjoong’s. “I’ll miss you.”

“It’s just for a day,” Hongjoong reassured him, squeezing his hand briefly. “But I’ll miss you too.”

The trio finally made their way outside after several attempts to say goodbye to AURAGE. Wooyoung continued to make everything overly dramatic, and phone numbers were shared with the promise to keep in touch with their two new Halo friends. The crisp night air a sharp contrast to the warmth of Seonghwa’s home as they move towards their vehicles. Yeosang stopped by his own car, turning to Hongjoong with wide, shining eyes.

“Joongie,” he began, his voice trembling slightly. “I don’t even know where to start. That was… the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Hongjoong grinned, leaning against his Jeep. “You looked like you were having fun.”

“Fun?” Yeosang laughed, shaking his head. “It was life changing. Wooyoung… San… all of them… I just-thank you. Seriously. I know you made this happen.”

Jongho stood nearby, his hands in his pockets, watching the exchange with a fond smile. Yeosang stepped closer, throwing his arms around Hongjoong in a tight hug. “You’re the best friend in the entire universe. I mean it.”

Hongjoong patted his back, chuckling softly. “You deserve it, Sangie. I’m glad you had a good time.” His smile couldn’t be moved for anything.

As Yeosang pulled back, his own smile was radiant, even in the dim light of the night. “I owe you so much for this. I don’t know how I’ll ever top it.”

“You don’t have to top it,” Hongjoong said, his tone warm. “Just don’t forget to breathe next time you see them. I’m sure they’ll be back next year.”

Jongho smirked, opening the car door for Yeosang. “That’s a tall order, but I’ll do my part.”

As they climbed into their car, Hongjoong waved them off, his heart full despite the ache of leaving Seonghwa behind for the night. Tomorrow would come with its own challenges, but for now, he was content knowing he had made this night unforgettable, for Yeosang, for Seonghwa, and maybe even for himself.

Chapter Text

“Who wakes up and immediately goes “Yeah let me go to the phone store”? What kind of shit is this?” Kiandra bemoaned as she pulled the shutters up that covered the windows when the store was still closed. Three cars sat in the parking lot, waiting for the doors to open. 

Hongjoong chuckled as he shook his head. “I wonder the same a lot, but hey, maybe it will be sales.”

Kia turned around, skewering Joong with the glare she gave him. “More shit and now from your mouth. It is too early for this level of betrayal. You already know they not here for that. They’re gonna come in and do bill pays or ask what their password is for their Facebook account.”

The wannabe producer laughed again, enjoying riling his coworker up. Honestly he wasn’t happy to have people in his face at nine in the morning either. He didn’t like opening shifts, and he certainly didn’t like it when the customers lined up before the doors were even open. The store still had five minutes, and the people outside had been waiting for thirty minutes. However, he was trying to keep his head up and stay positive. AURAGE was leaving at one o’clock, and Hongjoong knew it was going to devastate his boyfriend. Worse still, Seonghwa would be by himself until Joong got off at five. He almost wanted to ask to leave early, but after calling in the day before, he knew he couldn’t do that. He needed the hours and the money, so he was stuck to suffer knowing that he couldn’t be there when Seonghwa needed him. 

“Speaking of betrayal,” Kiandra said, squinting at him as she grabbed the drawer of cash from the back room, “Why are you smiling so much? Don’t think I didn’t notice. You’re way too cheerful for someone who had to open today. Spill.”

Hongjoong blinked, caught off guard. “What do you mean? I’m always cheerful.”

Kiandra arched a brow. “Yeah, okay. And I’m Beyoncé. Now, who or what has you looking like you just hit the lottery?”

Hongjoong hesitated for a moment before deciding there was no point in hiding it. Kiandra was his work bestie, after all. “Seonghwa,” he admitted, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Oh, lord. Here we go,” she groaned, but the teasing glint in her eyes betrayed her interest. “What did he do this time? Write you a poem? Serenade you under the stars?”

“Actually,” Hongjoong said, leaning against the counter with a faint blush, “he invited me to meet his bandmates yesterday.”

Kiandra stopped mid step, her jaw dropping. “You mean AURAGE ? The AURAGE ? The same band you’ve been fangirling over for years?”

“...Yes,” Hongjoong said, unable to suppress his grin.

Kiandra let out a loud laugh, setting the cash drawer down with a thud. “Oh, you’re living a Hallmark movie, my dude. When’s the wedding? Do I get to be a bridesmaid?”

“First of all,” Hongjoong said, rolling his eyes, “we’re not there yet. And second, do you have to make everything sound ridiculous?”

“Yes,” she replied without hesitation. “It’s in my job description as your work bestie. Now, give me the details. Were they cool? Did they like you? Did you faint?”

“No, I didn’t faint,” Hongjoong said, laughing. “And yeah, they were great. Wooyoung was… a lot, but in a good way. And I think they liked me.”

“You think ?” Kiandra raised a skeptical brow. “How could they not like you? You’re, like, disgustingly nice. That alone makes you their dream in law.”

Hongjoong snorted. “I wouldn’t go that far. But it was… surreal. Meeting them as Seonghwa’s boyfriend instead of just a fan? It was something I’ll never forget.”

Kiandra softened, her usual sass giving way to genuine warmth. “That’s awesome, Joong. You deserve all the good stuff.”

“Thanks, Kia,” Hongjoong said, his smile fading slightly as his thoughts drifted back to Seonghwa. “I just wish I could be with him today. They’re leaving, and he’s gonna be alone until I get off.”

Kiandra frowned. “That sucks. But hey, at least he has you. And knowing you, you’ll find a way to make it up to him.”

“Yeah,” Hongjoong murmured, glancing at the clock. The five minutes had passed, and it was time to open the store. “I hope so.”

Kiandra gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder before moving to unlock the doors. “All right, let’s do this. And remember, if you get overwhelmed, just picture your man in one of those ugly Christmas sweaters we always laugh about. That’ll get you through the day.”

Hongjoong laughed, shaking his head as the first customers trickled in, remembering exactly what his boyfriend looked like in an ugly Christmas sweater.(Though maybe it wasn’t so ugly anymore considering he had been wearing it when he let Hongjoong fuck his mouth.) Despite the looming goodbyes, he did feel a little lighter. Kia always had a way of making him see the bright side.

The first few hours of work passed by quickly enough, mostly due to the high volume of customers. During all of it, Hongjoong noticed a notification on his phone telling him that Seonghwa had messaged him, but he was unable to check his phone. The busy work of bouncing between customers lasted until shortly after noon. By then Joong was ready for lunch and promptly exited the store to go and grab a bite to eat. He checked his phone as he was walking out to his Jeep.

My Boyfriend:
Good morning my handsome boyfriend! 🥰

My Boyfriend:
Wooyoung is singing a song about you. I’m so sorry!

My Boyfriend:
You made a good impression on Yunho. He’s mentioned your name a few times, and always with admiration.

My Boyfriend:
We’re getting ready to head to the airport.
I’m not ready for this.
I don’t want them to go.
😭

Hongjoong frowned and quickly typed a message back, noting that the last message was sent ten minutes ago. He cursed his jobs existence, wishing he could be there for Seonghwa instead of being stuck selling phones to people. 

Hongjoong:
Hey baby, sorry, we’ve been swamped at work.
Everything is going to be okay. They will be back soon enough!
I’m so sorry that they’re having to leave. I wish I could be there for you right now.
Keep your head up, baby. 

He felt like his texts were completely useless in the grand scheme of things. Hongjoong waited five minutes but there was no response, so he started his Jeep and headed a few streets down to grab lunch before he returned to the building. He ate in the parking lot, and continually checked his phone. Seonghwa still hadn’t responded, and that worried the salesman. He knew that AURAGE was probably already on board, especially since the flight was supposed to leave at 1:05, and that was only twenty minutes away. 

Once his break was over, Hongjoong was right back to work, and so busy that he again wasn’t able to check his phone. He cursed every customer that came through the door, as if they were personally responsible for not giving him a second to look for messages from Hwa. He was irritated but did his best to not let it show, but Kiandra kept giving him the look that said his irritation was showing. When he was finally given a second to disappear to the back to grab the customer’s phones they were buying, he grabbed his phone so quickly that he fumbled it and dropped it on the ground. 

Thankfully it didn’t break. 

Hongjoong checked his messages, but there was still nothing. It was ten till four, which meant that AURAGE had been gone for nearly three hours, yet Seonghwa hadn’t messaged Hongjoong again. He frowned and typed out another message. 

Hongjoong:
How are you doing babe? I’ll be off work soon and I’ll be there.
You’re amazing, and the best, and it is all going to be okay!

Fuck! He hated the silence, hated not being there, and hated knowing that Seonghwa was most likely hurting all alone. 

Back to work he went, and the only thing Hongjoong felt thankful for with the busyness was that the day was flying by. Before he knew it, it was five. Just as he tried to disappear though, a new set of customers walked in the door. With everyone else already tied up, he was forced to greet them. He prayed for a bill pay or something quick and easy, but his heart sank as they informed him they wanted to start new service. Never before had he not wanted to get activations in. That was how he made his money after all, but he also knew that activating new service was a long and involved process nine times out of ten, and he had a boyfriend that needed him! 

Hongjoong forced a polite smile as he led the customers to the counter. He asked the usual questions, jotting down notes and pulling up the promotions to go over them with the customer. All the while, his brain was racing. How long was this going to take? Could he get through it fast enough? He tapped his pen against the counter, nerves fraying as he tried not to think about the message Seonghwa still hadn’t sent.

“Uh, sir?” One of the customers said, pulling him out of his spiraling thoughts.

“Oh! Sorry,” Hongjoong replied quickly, refocusing on the task at hand. He began explaining the next steps, keeping his tone as steady as possible, though his patience was hanging by a thread. As the minutes dragged on, he resisted the urge to check his phone. Again.

Then, like a beacon of light in the darkness, Kiandra walked over, her heels clicking softly against the floor. “Joong,” she called, her voice sweet but tinged with a no nonsense edge. “I’ll take it from here.”

Hongjoong blinked, his relief almost palpable. “You sure?”

“Yep,” she said with a quick wink before addressing the customers with a bright, professional smile. “Hi, I’m Kiandra, and I’ll be helping you out. He’s got somewhere important to be.”

The customers nodded, seemingly unbothered, and Kiandra gave Hongjoong a pointed look. “Go. Now. And don’t make me regret being nice.”

Hongjoong didn’t need to be told twice. “You’re a lifesaver, Kia,” he said, already backing away, ready to get out. He knew he’d have to repay his work bestie’s kindness in the future.

“I know,” she called over her shoulder as she took his place behind the counter. “Tell your man I said hi, and bring me coffee tomorrow as payment!”

Hongjoong chuckled as he grabbed his things and made a beeline for the door. The moment he stepped outside, the cool air hit him, and he practically sprinted to his Jeep. The worry gnawed at him since Seonghwa’s earlier messages threatened to overwhelm him, but now he had a singular focus: getting to Seonghwa as fast as possible.

Sliding into the driver’s seat, he sent one last quick message before starting the car.

Hongjoong:
On my way. Be there soon. Hang in there, baby. 💕

With that, he set his phone aside and pulled out of the parking lot, his heart pounding in his chest. The thought of Seonghwa sitting at home, dealing with the weight of his friends leaving, only made Hongjoong more determined. Whatever Seonghwa needed, he’d be there for him, just as soon as he got to him.

⧭

Hongjoong made it to Seonghwa’s home in record time, a short ten minutes after peeling out of the parking lot of his store. He pulled into the driveway, and barely had the engine stopped before he was jumping out of his Jeep and running to the front door. It was pure luck that he didn’t slip on any ice along the way. The brown haired man pounded out a steady rhythm on Hwa’s front door until his hand was so cold that he had to shove it back into his jacket pocket. When no response came, he rang the doorbell instead, further freezing his hand. 

“Come on, Hwa.” He looked around, wondering if maybe there were signs to show him his boyfriend wasn’t home. Maybe he was still at the airport for some god awful reason, or he had escaped his sorrows by going out to eat, or to the gym. Hongjoong didn’t like the silence. Seonghwa hadn’t even read his messages though, which meant he wasn’t looking at his phone. Probably too eaten up by sadness to bother. God Hongjoong hated it. He just wanted to help, even though he knew there wasn’t much he could do but be there. Of course in order to be there he had to actually figure out where Seonghwa was. 

Just as he stepped away from the door though, it swung open, revealing a teary eyed, red nosed, puffy faced Seonghwa. Hongjoong nearly broke in two at the sight. “Oh baby.” He stepped forward again and pulled Seonghwa against him, hearing the man sniffle. “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here. Come on sweetheart, let’s get inside. It’s alright.”

A few minutes later, the pair were seated on the couch in the living room, the farthest that Seonghwa was willing to go from the door. The singer clung to Hongjoong, and his tears hadn’t stopped since the door opened. All that Joong could do was sit and rub his back, whispering what he hoped were soothing platitudes. He couldn’t imagine what Hwa was going through, having never been put in such a position. Yeosang was always readily available to him, always there, a phone call or drive away. The other man had never gone out of state, let alone out of the country. Seonghwa was clearly facing the reality that he wouldn’t see his best friends again for another year most likely. That had to hurt, especially friends that were so close. It broke Hongjoong’s heart to know that his boyfriend was hurting to such a degree. 

Seonghwa cried against Hongjoong for a good ten minutes before his tears began to stop, turning into hiccups and sniffles that shook his entire body. 

His voice broke the silence, filled with pain that Hongjoong had never heard in his tone before. 

“Did I make a mistake in coming here?”

Here. Where was here? To America? To Montrose? Seonghwa’s house?

“What do you mean, baby?” Hongjoong kept his voice even, soft, trying to remain a comfort even with his confusion.

“Here. America. I’m so far away from them.” More tears broke forth as Hwa pressed his head into Hongjoong’s shoulder, the arm wrapped around the brown haired man tightening. 

“I can’t tell you if you did or didn’t, beautiful. That’s something you have to figure out, I'm afraid.” He grimaced at the implications though. If Seonghwa felt he had made a mistake… would he leave? Leave Hongjoong behind? The man felt his heart shrinking at the mere thought of losing Seonghwa. To be given a taste of his dreams, just to have them turn into sour nightmares. “I don’t think you did. You wouldn’t be my boyfriend if you hadn’t come here.” He chuckled lightly, though it lacked in humor, and sounded far more desperate than he intended.

Seonghwa shook his head against Joong’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, I’m making this about me.” Hongjoong quickly realized his selfishness. “Baby, I know you miss them, I know this is hard, but again, you’re the only person that can decide if your decision was the right one. Why did you leave South Korea in the first place?” He had wanted to know for a long time now. Hongjoong had theories, but nothing concrete. 

Seonghwa pulled away, and Hongjoong felt like a piece of himself had slipped through his fingers. 

The idol stared at the opposite wall, turned away from Hongjoong as he inhaled a shaky breath. “A lot of reasons.” He started and stopped, bringing his hands up to wipe away his tears. “South Korea is not the most friendly place when you’re a gay idol.” 

Hongjoong leaned forward, placing his hand on Hwa’s back to try and encourage him to continue. 

“I had everything. My brothers, my career, an adoring fanbase, and I threw it all away because I wanted to actually be who I am. I wanted to live authentically, to be like you. And in doing so, I lost everything.”

Hongjoong frowned, his previous guilt from the knowledge that he was the whole reason the idol had come out and left AURAGE, suddenly hitting him again like a dump truck. 

Seonghwa continued though, “My fans turned their backs on me, my company threw me out like garbage, and everyday people treated me like I was a disease on the face of my country. I received hate mail, threats, disgust, hatred. Seething hatred. And all from people that claimed to support me.” His shoulders shook as a fresh sob overtook him. “I just wanted to be true to myself. You were my guiding light in my darkest hours, Hongjoong.”

Joong felt his chest tighten, the weight of Seonghwa’s pain settling deep in his bones. He leaned in closer, his voice soft but firm. “Hwa… you didn’t throw anything away. You chose yourself. That’s the bravest thing anyone could do. And even if the world didn’t understand, I do. You’re not alone anymore.”

Seonghwa shook his head, wiping at his eyes again. “I didn’t feel brave. I felt broken. I still do, sometimes. But… but there was this one thing that kept me going. Kept me from giving up entirely.”

Hongjoong nodded, completely understanding such words. “Your brothers, I know.” It made it even worse that Hwa had just lost them all over again. 

Except the singer shook his head. “No.” Seonghwa hesitated, his lips trembling as he tried to form the words. His gaze finally shifted from the wall to meet Hongjoong’s, and for a moment, all Hongjoong saw was raw, unfiltered emotion, a storm of vulnerability, fear, and something deeper. Something warmer.

“You,” Seonghwa whispered, his voice cracking. “It was you.”

Hongjoong’s breath caught in his throat, his eyes widening as Seonghwa continued.

“That night of the concert, as you know, you inspired me to be authentic, to be true. You were the first person who ever made me feel like it was okay to be myself. Like I didn’t have to hide. But… it was more than that.”

“Hwa…” Hongjoong’s voice was barely a whisper, his heart pounding so hard he thought it might burst.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that,” Seonghwa admitted, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Even after everything fell apart, even when I lost it all, the memory of you… your words, your smile… it kept me going. And when I decided to leave South Korea, I didn’t just pick America at random. I came here to find you.”

Hongjoong’s mouth fell open, and the earth seemed to dissolve beneath him. He was floating in the ether, unable to understand or accept the reality that had just spilled from the world’s most perfect lips. He had no idea how their conversation had turned to this confession, but it left his head spinning and his heart hammering in new ways. Park Seonghwa, international, world famous, idol, had left his home country to find Kim Hongjoong, a loser, a nobody. These kinds of things didn’t happen in the real world, yet somehow it did happen. Hongjoong couldn’t make sense of that. He tried to speak, but words failed him for several seconds.

Finally, Hongjoong’s breath hitched. He felt like the ground had been pulled out from under him. “You… you came here because of me?”

Seonghwa nodded, his gaze unwavering despite the tears. “I felt this connection to you that night, something I’ve never felt with anyone else. And I thought… if there was even the slightest chance that what I felt was real, I had to find you. I had to know.”

Hongjoong couldn’t speak. His mind was spinning, his emotions a whirlwind of disbelief, awe, and an overwhelming sense of love. He reached out, cupping Seonghwa’s face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing away the tears, even as his own threatened to slip free from the pool they were creating in his eyes. “Hwa… I don’t even know what to say.” He had reached a new level of shock, and was still trying to be the strong one, to be there for his boyfriend during such an emotionally charged time in his life. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Seonghwa whispered, leaning into Hongjoong’s touch. “I just… I need you to know how much you mean to me. How much you’ve always meant to me. I came here looking for something real, and I found it. I found you. I just didn’t realize until today how incredibly hard it all was. But-but I don’t think I made a mistake.” Seonghwa nodded his head, sniffling as his eyes fell closed, tilting more into his boyfriend’s touch. “I love my brothers, I miss them, but… I think, no, I know that I needed this.” His eyes opened again, seemingly staring into Hongjoong’s soul. “I needed you, and I still do. I didn’t make a mistake in coming here, right?”

Hongjoong’s heart was in his throat as he shook his head. “No baby. I-I don’t think you did.” He leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to Seonghwa’s lips. His emotions were on the tip of his tongue. Words he didn’t think he should say yet, threatened to release themselves from the cage he had put them in. “You’ve changed my life, Hwa.” He admitted openly, tasting salt on his mouth and not realizing they were his own tears and not those that had fallen onto his boyfriend’s pouting lips. “I can’t even explain everything you’ve done for me, or how much I care for you. I don’t think you made a mistake, no, but that could just be me being selfish. Because you’re my everything. I’m nothing without you.” Fuck, he hadn’t meant to get so overcharged, to drop such heavy words, but they were out and he couldn’t change that now. 

Seonghwa smiled so brightly that it was nearly enough to dry both their tears, but of course they seemed to fall harder from the idol’s eyes instead of disappearing. “You are everything to me too, Joongie.” He shook his head and inched closer, but kept his eyes purely on Hongjoong’s. “I… I’m sorry if this is sudden, I know Americans do things differently, but I don’t want to keep it inside anymore.” He took only a moment, leaving Joong in a state of confusion and anticipation before his words melted from his lips like honey warmed by the sun. “I love you, Hongjoong.”

The wannabe producer’s heart stopped dead in his throat. Words he had been wanting to say to Seonghwa, now free falling from his boyfriend instead. He took only a second to get his brain to jumpstart. Tears spilled over Hongjoong’s cheeks as he pulled Seonghwa into a tight embrace. “I love you too,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “More than anything.” He pulled lightly on Seonghwa, trying to get the man closer. 

The idol showed no reservations in being closer, as he climbed into Hongjoong’s lap, and the two held onto one another for a time in perfect silence as Seonghwa calmed down enough to allow for normal breathing. 

Joong’s head continued to spin in the space of non reality, floored by the revelations of the day. Seonghwa had left Korea to find him. Seonghwa loved him. Not just as a friend or a confidant. No, he was in love with Hongjoong. The black haired man didn’t believe he had made a mistake. He had felt a connection with Hongjoong and came to see if it was real. It was definitely real. Hongjoong refused to let himself get stuck in his head on what it all could mean about the future, and if he was living in a parallel universe or still dreaming. He knew that Hwa still needed him, because despite the moment, he had still lost his brothers for the foreseeable future and that wasn’t easy. 

“I love you.” Seonghwa whispered the words against Hongjoong’s ear, sending a shiver down the brown haired man’s spine. The words, the heaviness of the confession, the whispered breath that tingled his skin…

Hongjoong turned his head and captured Seonghwa’s mouth with his own. His whispered fervent words spoken in between presses of his lips to his boyfriends. “I love you, Seonghwa. So fucking much. I love you. I love you. I love you.” He could scream it on the rooftops and it still wouldn’t be enough. 

Their languid kiss continued for several minutes, both enjoying the warm press of their lips against one another, the closeness of their bodies as Joong held Seonghwa close, refusing to let go. The last several months blurred together in Hongjoong’s mind, showcasing the unbelievable as if he were an exhibit in Ripley’s Believe it or Not. While he might continue to have problems wrapping his head around what his life had become, he was fully in the here and now. He could feel Seonghwa’s chest rise and fall with each breath, taste the salt of their combined tears, hear the sounds of their lips pressing together. It was all real. Park Fucking Seonghwa loved him, and he loved Seonghwa. To be able to share such feelings, and beautiful moments with his ult bias was everything and so much more. 

Hongjoong was the one to deepen the kiss the longer it went on. It wasn’t fully intentional, working on instinct alone and the drive he had to feel Hwa even closer. His tongue swiped out of his mouth and ran tantalizingly over Seonghwa’s bottom lip, earning him a gasp of surprise in response. 

He smiled against Seonghwa’s lips before delving his tongue further into the man’s mouth, hands dropping to squeeze the idol’s ass. Their kiss amped up into a higher intensity, both moaning against the other. Hwa seemingly letting go of the pain over his brother’s loss, the proclamations of their love for one another driving them forward. Hongjoong’s hands stayed on Seonghwa’s ass, gripping him tightly as he massaged Hwa through his thin pants. It always seemed to be such a shame that the singer wore such thin material, and Joong was always in jeans. 

Regardless, he could feel the hardness from Seonghwa’s cock, and his own was straining painfully against his jeans. He didn’t think now was the time for sexual endeavors, but the more that he squeezed Hwa’s ass, the more that line of thought parted from his brain. 

Hongjoong broke their kiss, both staring into each other’s eyes with a hunger that hadn’t been there moments ago. Seonghwa’s arms wrapped around Hongjoong’s neck and he nodded his head to the unspoken question asking for permission. Hongjoong leaned in again to press a chaste kiss to his boyfriend’s mouth before he trailed it over Hwa’s jaw. Feeling the man tilt his head to the side, a gasp shuddered out of Hwa’s mouth when Hongjoong’s tongue lapped against the sensitive skin of his neck. Seonghwa’s arms around Joong’s neck tightened, and his hips stuttered against Hongjoong’s. 

The brown haired man enjoyed the reaction greatly, it was such a beautiful thing to see how sensitive Seonghwa was to him. It boosted his ego and his confidence, telling him that it was okay and he was allowed to give such pleasure to his boyfriend. Hongjoong pulled the collar of the oversized sweater away, moving his tongue and mouth to lavish praise across the man’s well defined collarbone. Which was clearly a good plan, as Seonghwa gasped louder, his hips jerking forward, hands moving to rest on Hongjoong’s shoulders in a repeat of their previous night together. 

Every shudder, gasp, and moan was a wonderful thing to Hongjoong. In all of his fantasies about Seonghwa, he had always believed that the man would sound amazing. To have his fantasies turned into reality was even better though, and Hwa sounded even more delicious in the real world that existed outside of Hongjoong’s vivid imagination. 

His hands moved to grip Seonghwa’s hips, forcefully moving them against his own erection as he bit down on Seonghwa’s collar. 

Seonghwa let out a sound that was filled with desire, heat, shock, and pleasure. His grip tightened even further on Joong’s shoulders. “Oh my god, Hongjoong!” He panted and tipped his head back, clearly feeling just as aroused as Hongjoong did. 

Hongjoong grinned, continuing to pull and push Hwa across his lap. The idea sparked in his head again of going all the way, but he still wasn’t sure. He was lost to Hwa’s pleasure, something he gained pleasure from, so he didn’t give much thought to where things were leading. Even with such images in his head. He just wanted to exist in the here and now. The here and now that had Seonghwa grinding against him, getting off from the friction between his legs. 

Seonghwa continued to melt in Joong’s hands, grip so tight on the man’s shoulder that Hongjoong was sure marks would be left on his skin. He wasn’t complaining however. The idol forcefully stopped his own hips from moving though, his head falling forward to rest against Joong’s forehead. “Stop, stop, please. Oh my god.”

Joong did as he was told, not willing to push boundaries just yet. “What’s wrong?” There was only a hint of concern in his voice, for he didn’t feel that Seonghwa was stopping things because he was hurt, uncomfortable, or anything negative. 

The idol breathed heavily, his eyes latched closed. “Hongjoong…” he breathed, the name sounding more like an exasperation rather than trying to start a sentence with the brown haired man’s name. 

“Yes?” Hongjoong smirked, clear amusement in his eyes. That confident domineering side of him was waking up more and more. His eyes flashed across Hwa’s face, noting the flushed cheeks, and the way he refused to open his eyes. 

“I want you,” Seonghwa whispered. “All of you.” He whimpered, actually whimpered. “God, please. I-I can’t… I need you.” 

Hongjoong’s heart jumped into his throat again, and he felt choked, unable to breathe. Park Fucking Seonghwa was asking him, Kim Mother Fucking Hongjoong, to fuck him. 

A lot of thoughts jumped through his head, alongside a myriad of emotions. Fear, lust, nervousness, desire, anxiety, happiness, shock. He couldn’t cling to a single one to bring to the forefront, as they slipped through his fingers like water in a stream. What was he supposed to do? He didn’t know if he was ready for the real thing. Though he also knew logically he might not ever feel ready. It was a really big deal to him. To have sex with his ult bias. Full on real penetrative sex, not just oral, not just fingering, not just rutting against each other.

Other men in his shoes might not have had any problems. After all, when someone as insanely s exy/beautiful/gorgeous/insatiable asked to be fucked, you just did it. There was no room for overthinking or getting hung up on the details. A saner man would do it without question. Clearly Hongjoong was not sane.

Seonghwa seemed to take the silence as an answer, for his grip on Hongjoong’s shoulder lessened and he pulled his head away. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You’re not ready. I said I would be patient, and I am going to be.” 

Hongjoong’s heart sank. He could hear the pain in his boyfriend’s voice, even as he tried to hide it. Hongjoong wasn’t trying to make Seonghwa feel like he wasn’t good enough, or like he didn’t want to, it was just so much. Fuck he really hated himself sometimes. Hated the way he could get so lost in his thoughts, lost in his own issues. He felt Seonghwa try to move off of him, and gripped his waist tighter to keep him in place. “Stop.” The word was meant to be a whisper, but it came out instead with force and a commanding tone that froze Seonghwa in place. 

The wannabe producer sighed. “Seonghwa, I want to make love to you, I do… and… I’m going to.” He forced his brain to shut up, even as he felt the entire mood had been ruined. “I want you so badly.” He caught Seonghwa’s eye, and leaned forward to press a series of kisses to Hwa’s jaw. “I just got lost in thought for a second, okay? I’m good. I love you, I want you, and I’m going to make you feel good.” He didn’t know how to get them back to where they had been now that he fucked up, but he was trying. 

Hongjoong let that dominant version of him in, let it take over, pushed away his fears, his insecurities, and let it do what he wanted to do without the fear of overstepping. His mouth moved to Seonghwa’s ear and he whispered, “Are you going to beg for me today?”

He heard Seonghwa’s gasp, and felt the shift in the air as the moment slowly began to morph back to where it had been moments ago. “Y-yes.” Seonghwa nodded, his voice shaky. 

“Tell me what you want me to do, baby.” Hongjoong pulled Hwa’s hips forward again, reveling in the pleasure he heard from his boyfriend’s lips. The sweetness of those sounds was everything. 

“I-I want you to-to fuck me.” Seonghwa gasped out, hands clinging to his shoulders again. 

“Right here? On the couch?” Hongjoong grinned, his tongue licking across the pulse point in Hwa’s neck. 

“Yes, god, please, Joongie.”  Seonghwa’s voice had gotten so much heavier, filled to the brim with his need. 

“Stand up.” Hongjoong commanded with ease, working a little bit more to push down all of those negative thoughts and emotions again. He needed this. Seonghwa needed it. There was no room or place for that version of him that had been formed when he met Seonghwa in his store. He was not that person. Hongjoong had always been a domineering person. He had always been in control, forceful, and took what he wanted (with his partners permission of course. Consent was very important to him). Park Fucking Seonghwa had created another version of the salesman, a chicken that was afraid of doing something wrong, not wanting to push boundaries, not wanting to take things too quickly lest his head explode. It was not a version of him that Hongjoong liked. Letting his more forceful side, the real version of him, come out was what he needed. 

That version had been waking up over the last week or so, and now Hongjoong hoped that it might squash the uncertain part of him. If Seonghwa didn’t like that version of him though… well, they’d face that when it came up. 

However, as Seonghwa scrambled off of his lap without question, and stood waiting before his boyfriend, hands clenching into fist, teeth chewing on his bottom lip, eyes heavy with lust–it made Hongjoong doubt that Seonghwa wasn’t loving the new found confidence. 

“Good boy.” Hongjoong whispered, testing the words and the effect they’d have on his beautiful boyfriend. The effect was instant too, as Seonghwa’s eyes fluttered shut, his mouth popping open, and his cheeks turning just a bit more red. A praise kink? Hongjoong loved praise kinks. 

“Go and get your lube baby, and then come back in here and take your clothes off.” Hongjoong was more than willing to see how far he could go with his control. 

He watched with a smirk on his face as Seonghwa nodded and rushed away towards the kitchen to get to his bedroom. Hongjoong took a moment to breathe and collect himself, popping open the button on his jeans, and unzipping his pants to get a small bit of relief from the way his cock strained so painfully in the tightness of his clothing.

The mental image of one of his fantasies stirred in his mind. Him fucking Seonghwa… and the reality hit him. That was exactly what was about to happen. He had to suppress the groan that tried to rob him of his dignity. He chewed on his own bottom lip, but quickly put himself back into his confidant persona as he heard Seonghwa moving through the kitchen once more.

Hongjoong rested his arms on the back of the couch, looking like a god on his throne as Seonghwa returned to the living room, a small bottle of lube in his hands. His eyes met Hongjoong’s for only a second before they looked away, and it made Hongjoong smirk. The singer stopped in front of him, fidgeting as if he forgot what he was supposed to be doing. “I-I got it.” He handed the bottle over with a small smile.

“Good job baby, now strip for me. Slowly.” Hongjoong felt like he was fully testing his boundaries now. He believed that Seonghwa would tell him if he was uncomfortable with anything they did, anything Hongjoong told him to do. He just hoped he wasn’t wrong on that front. Hwa had been a leader for six years, so surely he knew how to speak up. He was a strong man, having overcome all of the adversity he had faced. Hell he moved to America to find someone he had only met once two years prior. Hongjoong had no reason to doubt that Seonghwa wouldn't speak up, or even take control himself if he really wanted it. Though Joong could tell he didn’t want the control at all, and this was something he had been wanting Hongjoong to show for a long time.

Seonghwa nodded his head, breathing heavily and for no other reason than the intense desire Hongjoong could see in his eyes. His lips were kiss bruised, and as pink as his cheeks. Dark eyes on Hongjoong’s own again, lids dropped down to create a look of pure intense passion and lust. It took everything in Hongjoong not to just demand Hwa sit on his cock already. Seonghwa’s beauty only seemed to intensify when he was aroused, as Joong was beginning to learn, and every new level he reached, the man’s beauty became more fatal. Whether or not Hongjoong would survive the rest of the day was still to be determined. 

The idol gripped the hem of his shirt, eyes never leaving Joong’s as he slowly began to pull it up, his hand sliding across his taut stomach, showing just a span of the left side of his waist off. Hongjoong’s fingers gripped the edges of the couch cushions, trying to keep his composure. It didn’t matter that he had seen Hwa’s stomach in pictures, videos, and at the concert, nor did it matter that he had run his tongue across it just a few days ago–this part of Seonghwa was his all time favorite. The moment that Seonghwa got the shirt pulled full up to the center of his chest, Hongjoong moved forward. “Stop.” The singer’s eyes showed confusion for only a second before his confusion was erased as Joong slid his hands across Hwa’s waist to hold them together at the center of the man’s back. He moved forward to the edge of the couch, his tongue sliding across Seonghwa’s abs. He heard the moan from Seonghwa and grinned. 

Pulling away he looked up at the other. “Keep your shirt where it is, and don’t move baby.” Hongjoong didn’t wait for a confirmation or acknowledgement, eagerly returning to the beautiful skin in front of him. His lips and tongue were used on every inch, panting himself as the act had Joong even more turned on. As he reached the right side of Seonghwa’s waist, he bit down, not lightly, smirking as Hwa’s body jerked and a deep moan was wrenched from his mouth. Seonghwa liked being bitten apparently. First his collarbone, and now his waist. Hongjoong liked biting. He liked marking, and the yearning to mark Park Fucking Seonghwa was insanely high. To make sure everyone knew that he was Kim Mother Fucking Hongjoong’s and no one else’s. 

That was what led the brown haired man to sucking on the bite mark he had left on his boyfriend, pulling the skin between his lips, pressing his tongue to it, and sucking. A beautiful melody of sounds fell like raindrops from Hwa’s mouth. Hongjoong pulled away and examined the bruised skin, shining red in the evening light that filtered in through the window behind him. He grinned and moved to sit back fully, resuming his previous position, back to looking like a god. He flicked his wrist at Seonghwa. “Continue.”

Seonghwa didn’t have to be told twice, but he did take a shuddering breath in before his shirt was hitched further up. His eyes again were on Hongjoong, watching him for any indication that he should stop once more. He let the shirt drape around his neck as he pulled his arms free of the fluffy sleeves, and then finally pulled it off his head. Hwa held onto it, and it was obvious from the way his hands twitched that he wanted to fold it up and sit it nice and neat somewhere. Hongjoong remembered how Hwa had done that the night Joong met AURAGE. His smirk grew larger. “Drop it.” He spoke the words slowly, deliberately. He had to contain his laughter when Seonghwa’s eyes grew large for the flash of a second. If Hongjoong could get him to actually drop his clothing on the floor, the he figured he’d have no trouble giving any other orders to the beautiful man. 

Hwa nodded again, but the shirt was still in his fingers. Hongjoong looked away from his boyfriend to stare pointedly at the shirt before his eyes met Seonghwa’s smoldering one’s. It felt like a challenge, but he knew that Seonghwa wasn’t challenging the authority and power he had given over to his boyfriend, it was just his neat freak ways. Finally, he dropped the shirt, and held his head a little bit higher as he did. 

Hongjoong knew what he wanted. “Good boy.” He spoke with far more confidence this time, and Hwa preened under the praise. If he were a peacock, his feathers would have fanned out in a proud display. “Keep going, beautiful.”

Seonghwa’s hands moved to his own waist, and Hongjoong noted the way that his fingers skimmed over the spot he had bruised and sullied. Noted how the idol’s eyes fluttered shut and a small gasp left his mouth. Good to know. Hongjoong was finding a lot of Seonghwa’s kinks, and it was exciting him so much. Their levels of freak were meshing quite well. 

The singer’s hands reached the waistband of his loose pants, and he once again slowly began peeling the next article of clothing off. He went just as slow as before.  His hands slipped inside of the pants, pulling them down as he went, hands sliding across his own thighs. Thighs that Hongjoong was also obsessed with. How many marks could he put on his boyfriend today? As they fell past Hwa’s knees to the ground, Hongjoong leaned forward again. “Stop.”

Seonghwa froze, hands on the waistband of his boxer briefs. 

“You’re being such a good boy, my Hwa.” Hongjoong whispered as he slid off the couch so that his mouth was more in line with what he wanted to touch his tongue too: Seonghwa’s beautiful thighs. He ran his hands up and down each, loving the way they shook under his touch. “Do you want me to kiss you here too, baby?” He gave a devilish smirk, mouth already so close to Seonghwa’s inner thigh that he was almost touching flesh as he spoke.

“Please.” Seonghwa whispered the word out, legs shaking again. 

“What’s that? I didn’t hear you.” Hongjoong teased. 

Seonghwa’s fingers twitched, almost as if he were thinking of moving them, but he kept them still. “Please Joong, please.”

Hongjoong grinned, loving the pleas. “I see I’m going to have to make you more desperate for me, but for now I’ll give you what you want.” His confidence had a complete choke hold on him, and there was no going back. Any nervousness he felt was stuck so deep down behind his persona that he couldn’t even feel it. He had a feeling that he’d be freaking out later on, probably call Yeosang in a panic, but maybe the confidence was here to stay. 

“No-no, I… please. God please, Joong.” Seonghwa’s words were delivered on heavy breaths, but they were still not enough for Hongjoong. 

Joong opted into ignoring his desire for more begging, his need to put his mouth on Hwa’s thighs too high. He connected his lips with just a whisper, relishing in the way that Seonghwa shivered again, an audible gasp filling the air. “Don’t move.” Hongjoong instructed with a deep growl to his voice as he felt Seonghwa’s hands twitch down towards his hair. The man quickly retracted them. Hongjoong let his mouth repeat his previous actions, using his lips and tongue to touch every inch of each thigh. When he was happy, he moved his mouth up, lost in the moment, grabbing the bottom of Seonghwa’s boxer briefs with his teeth as he pulled it up. Another gasp sounded from his boyfriend, and Joong’s eyes stared into Seonghwa’s own as he lifted the material up as far as he could get it. “Hold this.” He spoke as he dropped the fabric back from his teeth. Seonghwa again did as he was told. 

Hongjoong was given access to Seonghwa’s inner thigh, right where it connected with his groin. His destination revealed to him, his lips were soon sucking a new bruise onto his boyfriend in an overly sensitive spot. He felt Seonghwa’s hips jerk, stuttered breaths and moans leaving his mouth. Hongjoong didn’t just leave one mark, but three, and as he moved to create a fourth, Hwa’s voice whined out in a near whimper. “Joongie, please, I-I can’t. Please, it’s too-too m-m-much.” He sounded wrecked. Hongjoong looked up at him, a smirk spreading across his lips. 

Seonghwa was beginning to look ruined, and Joong loved it. “Just one more baby.” Hongjoong again didn’t wait for any answer before he dove back in, delivering a bite to Seonghwa’s thigh before he moved and sucked on the skin. The frazzled moans and gasps from above were musical. It didn’t take long before the idol was slipping Korean words out of mouth, though it was just ‘jebal’ over and over again. 

Hongjoong pulled away and slid back onto the couch, positioned in his regal state once more. “I’m going to need you to keep to English pleas beautiful, I don’t know enough Korean.” He chuckled. 

“Y-y-yes, sorry.” Seonghwa nodded his head, cheeks turning even more pink than before. 

“Don’t be sorry, you’re doing so well for me, letting me mark you up. You’re such a good boy, Hwa.” Hongjoong knew damn well the effect he was having, and he loved it. “Now, finish up.” He flicked his wrist again, trying to stay in control of his wilding emotions. 

Seonghwa was not slow with removing his boxer briefs. He grabbed the edges and pushed them down so quickly that it was almost comical. It would have been funny if Joong wasn’t so turned on. Before him stood the most beautiful man in the entire universe, stark naked, his cock red and angry, absolutely dripping with his need. 

Hongjoong nearly growled, but he kept it inside as he raked his eyes over the man. “Seonghwa, you are seriously so beautiful.” His voice held sincerity and fondness in it, the controlling sense still there, but able to stand aside and allow some softness out. Hongjoong knew how to wield both. “Come here, baby.” He gestured to his lap, which was still fully clothed. 

Seonghwa began to move, but paused. “You’re still dressed.” He pointed out with an adorable pout. 

“I am.” Hongjoong nodded, a giggle leaving him. He leaned forward and pulled Seonghwa over by his hand. “Don’t worry my beautiful baby, I’m going to fuck you.” He pressed a kiss to the middle of Hwa’s chest as he pulled him onto the couch, forcing Hwa to straddle him as he did. “But you need to be prepped first, right?” 

Seonghwa nodded, eyes falling closed as Hongjoong’s lips moved across his chest. 

“Then I need you to sit down, just not all the way okay?” Again the man nodded. He hovered over Hongjoong’s lap, leaving enough room for the brown haired man to work his hand between their bodies. Hongjoong uncapped the lube and poured it over a few fingers. He slid his finger across the man’s rim for only a second or two before he pressed it inside of his boyfriend. Hongjoong moved his finger back and forth while he kept his mouth busy on one of Seonghwa’s nipples. His teeth grazed it, pulling forth a nasty moan from the singer. Hwa’s hands had once again found Hongjoong’s shoulder, and the grip he delivered was intense enough to spark a little pain in the salesman, but he welcomed it. 

It didn’t take much before Joong was pressing a second finger inside. He curled his fingers, moving to the other nipple to give it the same treatment. Seonghwa began to writhe, moving his hips against Joong’s digits just the way that Hongjoong liked. He remembered it all too well just two days before when he had first done this. He pulled his mouth free and used his free hand to push Hwa down further, successfully trapping Hongjoong’s hand and forcing Seonghwa to sit fully down on the fingers that were inside of him. “Ah ah, Joong!” Seonghwa whimpered, stilling his hips, but Hongjoong had no intention of letting him sit pretty. 

“Fuck my fingers.” He gave his command on a heavy tone, licking Seonghwa’s chest. 

As it had been the whole time, Seonghwa didn’t have to be told twice, and began steadily rotating his hips on the fingers that were as deep as they could go inside of him. The movements, along with Joong pressing down on the man’s prostate, caused the room to be filled with the sounds of Seonghwa’s gratification. 

“That’s it baby. Keep at it. God, you look so gorgeous right now.” Joong worked in a third finger carefully, continuing to press down on the point of delight, breathing heavily himself just from how amazing Seonghwa looked. He moved his eyes down to watch the man’s waist as it moved in such a tantalizing way. The view made him nearly cum and he had to force his focus onto Hwa’s chest again. 

After a few minutes though, Seonghwa was whimpering, and the pleas began again. “Please, please, I need… please.” 

Hongjoong grinned. “Lift up, beautiful.” He waited until his boyfriend did as he was told and slowly pulled his fingers free. Though Joong wasn’t done. The realization that he had yet to touch the gorgeous man’s cock lingered in his mind, and he desperately wanted to get his hands on the idol’s dick. “Sit back down.”

As soon as Hwa was seated again in Joong’s lap, Hongjoong grasped Seonghwa’s member, alighting in the gasp from the singer’s mouth. His heavily lidded eyes fell on the salesman, mouth still open in a silent moan. Hongjoong grabbed the lube and poured it over Seonghwa’s cock, adding it to what was already on his fingers, and stroked his boyfriend from tip to base, squeezing just enough to have Hwa throwing his head back and gasping like a fish out of water. 

Hongjoong wrapped his hand around the back of Seonghwa’s head and pulled him down to meet his lips in a filthy kiss. He was so turned on he was barely able to contain himself. Their kiss was mostly hot air and tongues meshing together, the occasional curling of Hongjoong’s upper lip in a silent snarl as he tried to not lose himself entirely. His hand picked up speed without thinking, delighted with the feeling of his bias’s dick in his hand. 

Neither of them was expecting the startled and choked cry from Seonghwa, or the hot sensation of his cum spilling over Hongjoong’s hand. Joong couldn’t say he was all that surprised, but he was a little bit. He continued to stroke his boyfriend through his orgasm, and dropped his hand the second that it was obvious Hwa was coming down. There was a slight hint of annoyance and upset that flared deep in his gut, feeling that his chance to fuck his boyfriend had gone out the window and all because he had insisted on teasing instead of just fucking him. It was their first time together, why did he have to draw it out? 

Hongjoong pulled his soiled hand free, not knowing what to do with it, considering there was nothing for him to wipe the copious amounts of cum on.  Seonghwa had already pulled out of their kiss and was breathing heavily, hands continuing to flex on Joong’s shoulder. He looked beautiful, so wrecked. His hair now a mess from the way that Hongjoong had held onto the back of the idol’s head during their shared intimacy, lips even more bruised than before, swollen and plump, hot and heavy breaths leaving his mouth in a rush. 

It took him a minute before he opened his eyes to stare at Hongjoong, and then his hand was trailing to the bottom of Joong’s shirt. “I want your clothes off too. Please-please.”

Joong wasn’t sure what was happening. He stared at Seonghwa in confusion, but nodded his head, giving his boyfriend permission to pull his work shirt off. Once it was free, he cleaned his dirty hand with it, not thinking of how he wouldn’t be able to wear it home. 

Seonghwa’s hands explored his chest and stomach, which only elicited gasps of pleasure from Hongjoong. Pleasure he now wished to ignore purely out of anger with himself. He didn’t deserve to get off since he had ruined everything. He had told Seonghwa he was going to fuck him, and then he messed that up. Good job. 

Suddenly Seonghwa’s hand was drawing fingers over the outside of Hongjoong’s underwear though, and it wiped his self admonishment out. The idol leaned forward to whisper into Joong’s ear. “Can I have this, please?” His voice dripped with seduction. 

“Y-yes, but..” Hongjoong shook his head. He didn’t care anymore. Whatever Seonghwa wanted to do with his cock, he’d let the singer do it. 

Seonghwa pulled back on Joong’s lap, just enough to pull Hongjoong’s cock out of his pants and underwear. His eyes looked down and Joong was sure he could see drool slipping out of the corner of Hwa’s mouth. The black haired man grabbed the lube and poured it over Hongjoong’s cock, his hand sliding easily up and down. Hongjoong assumed he’d be getting a hand job, and he wasn’t going to complain about that. There would be a lot of self admonishment later on though for sure. 

However, Seonghwa had other plans, as his hand stopped at the base and he once again lifted his hips up to position himself over Hongjoong’s cock. The brown haired man’s heart stopped, an involuntary gasp leaving his mouth as he realized what was happening. His hands moved to grab onto Seonghwa’s delicious waist. Seonghwa was hard again, and Hongjoong didn’t know how that was even possible, but he wasn’t going to deny him what he wanted. He pushed himself down more on the couch so that his shoulders were more aligned with the back cushions, planting his feet firmly on the ground. Seonghwa looked up at him as he began to slowly lower himself down, one hand on Joong’s chest. He gasped as the head of Hongjoong’s cock touched his rim. 

Hongjoong gripped harder onto Seonghwa’s waist as he steeled his nerves and forced himself to not push hurriedly into the welcoming heat he could feel over the tip of his cock. His fingers itched and his foot shifted around on the ground with the amount of energy he had flowing through him that he was trying to contain. This was it. 

Seonghwa’s hand on his chest balled into a fist as Hongjoong’s cock breached his hole. He went agonizingly slow, sliding down Joong with small gasps that were impossible to differentiate between pain and pleasure. Hongjoong watched his face scrunch up, eyes closed and mouth set in a grimace. It worried him, but the amount of pleasure he was experiencing from sinking further and further into Park Fucking Seonghwa was battling for supremacy on where his emotions should be. Seonghwa felt so fucking good. So incredibly tight (which was not a shock to Joong considering how big his dick was, most people he’d been with hadn’t ever had someone as large as him), warm, slick, smooth. His fingers continued to itch and twitch, and he knew he was squeezing the man’s waist a little harder than was probably comfortable but he couldn’t stop himself. His eyes were trying to roll back in his head, and he was doing everything he could to keep his composure. Especially when he knew his boyfriend was having to adjust to Joong’s size. 

It took a minute with how slow Seonghwa went, but soon enough he was fully seated on Hongjoong’s lap again, both hands now on the man’s chest. His eyes had slid closed again, mouth still popped open. “God Joongie…” his voice was a whisper, deep and velvety. Hongjoong loosened his grip with one hand before he completely released his hold on his boyfriend, moving it to grasp one of his hands instead. 

“Are you okay?” 

Seonghwa nodded. “You’re-you’re very big, Joong.”

Hongjoong knew this. His past partners knew this. Seonghwa knew it too, though perhaps he hadn’t expected just what it would feel like inside of him when he had only touched it with his hand and mouth previously. “We will go slow as you need,  baby.”

Another short nod came from the black haired man. He gave an experimental move of his hips, but stopped with a wince. “Just gi-give me a second. God I’m so-so full with yo-you.”

Joong’s hand that was still gripping Hwa’s waist moved up and down the man’s side, loving to hear such words. “Baby, you look so fucking beautiful with me inside of you.” His own voice was a whisper, holding onto his sanity. “You’re taking me so well, gorgeous. You just tell me when okay? I want to make you feel good again.”

Seonghwa hummed in response, eyes finally open to look into Hongjoong’s eyes. “I love you so much.” The words, which had been spoken several times between them since they declared their feelings, still sounded beautiful to Hongjoong’s ears. 

“I love you too, my good boy.”

That brought a satisfied smile to Seonghwa’s lips. 

Another minute passed before Seonghwa gave another tentative test, but this time it brought a moan out instead of a grimace. His grip tightened in Joong’s hand and he moved to pull off of Hongjoong, all the way to the tip before he slowly slid back down, groaning the whole way. 

Hongjoong’s hand was back to gripping the man’s waist again, blitzed out from just the surge of pleasure he received from the slide. “Goddamn… you go-gonna ride me well baby?”

Seonghwa repeated his actions, going a bit faster this time. “Y-yes, Joongie.” His own face shuttered with bliss and perfection. “Ah, you-you fe-feel, ah-” the poor thing couldn’t even finish his sentence. 

Joong let him set the pace for a few moments, watching as Seonghwa continued to increase the speed in which he moved, until finally when he slid to the tip, Hongjoong pushed his hips upwards in a quick motion that sent him slamming into his boyfriend’s tight encasing heat. “Oh fuck.” He nearly yelled as his satisfaction reached a new level. Seonghwa did yell. 

“Ahhh-Joong- oh my god, please!”

Hongjoong grinned, scooting further down on the couch so that his back was flush with the bottom cushions. “Be still, my good boy.”

Seonghwa nodded, sitting pretty as Hongjoong relentlessly drove himself in and out of his boyfriend, causing both to turn the room into a paradise of pleasure filled with the sounds of their combined moans. Hongjoong was panting heavily, continually moving, faster and faster until there was no more speed he could gain. Seonghwa’s hands gripped whatever part of Hongjoong he could find, not getting a second to breathe as his moans simply would not stop, dripping like honey from a beehive. His eyes rolled and rolled, barely able to focus on Hongjoong, his entire body shaking. 

Seonghwa continued to shake, his blunt nails skimming down Hongjoong’s stomach. “Please–please…” his words were snuffed out with another yell, and his hips began to move against Joong’s relentless movements. 

Hongjoong almost told him to stop moving, but he was too far into his own pleasure to care. 

His name ripped out of Seonghwa’s mouth, nearly shattering the windows in the room. He clenched around Hongjoong, making the wannabe producer throw his head back, toes curling against the floor. He felt rather than saw the second orgasm Seonghwa had, as his hot release splashed against Joong’s stomach. 

Seonghwa continued to moan, hands still on Joong’s stomach, now covered by his own cum. Hongjoong realized he needed to hurry up, but he was holding back on his own orgasm as much as he could. Seonghwa felt too good, and he didn’t want to cum too early. “Fuck Seonghwa.” He muttered as he looked back at his boyfriend’s bliss. His hips began to slow some, not in an attempt to stop, he just needed to gain more energy, but clearly his boyfriend thought that he was trying to stop.

“Don’t stop!” Seonghwa yelled, moving himself up and down on Hongjoong now. “Oh my god Joong, please, please, fuck, ah-Joong!” 

Hongjoong could do nothing but watch his boyfriend’s dick twitch back to life for the third fucking time, watch Hwa ride his cock. 

“Good fuck.” Hongjoong couldn’t believe this was happening. He had already given the man he loved two orgasms in such a short amount of time, and now this one was also a touchless orgasm. Would Seonghwa get a third? The very idea of Kim Mother Fucking Hongjoong bringing Park Fucking Seonghwa to a third orgasm pushed more adrenaline into his system. He gripped Hwa’s hips with both hands, and started pulling and pushing the man on his cock, aided by Seonghwa’s own movements. 

“God yes, Hwa. Fuck! You wanna cum again my good boy?” 

Seonghwa nodded his head, seemingly unable to speak now as he moaned out a response that was neither English or Korean. 

Hongjoong didn’t let up, even as Hwa’s body became more like a lead weight, clearly running out of energy. It certainly made lifting him up and slamming him back down on Joong’s cock a bit harder, but the salesman continued his actions for a bit anyway until it became too tiring for his arms. “Come here baby.” He gasped the words out, his hands moving to Hwa’s back to pull him down on top of Hongjoong. Seonghwa went without issue, apparently thankful to have something to lean on. 

Joong moved as far down on the couch as he could, only his back left on it, but his legs gave him even more leverage to push up into Seonghwa’s delicious perfection. Seonghwa’s moans were right in Hongjoong’s ear, and they were beautiful. As much as Hongjoong wanted to continue listening to them, he wanted the man’s mouth on him, and nudged his head to get Hwa to turn towards him. The moment that Seonghwa did, Hongjoong pressed their lips together, allowing Seonghwa to take the air that he breathed. 

His hand rubbed up and down Seonghwa’s back, his speed slowing a little bit to gain more energy as he gave himself a break. 

He kept the slower pace too long though, as soon Seonghwa was pulling out of the kiss, tears slowly falling from his eyes. “Please-please-pl-Joong-ah-ple-” his sentence barely made sense. 

Hongjoong giggled. “What baby?” He slowed his speed even more, being a tease just for the fun of it. 

Seonghwa groaned. “I nee-need you. Want-want you to fill-fill me up.”

“Fuck.” Hongjoong moaned. That was hot. “You want me to cum inside of you, good boy?”

Seonghwa nodded eagerly, a pliant doll to whatever his boyfriend gave him, even when he had his request. 

“Wanna feel me spilling it all inside of your beautiful fucking hole?” Hongjoong groaned, picking up speed. 

“Y-yes, please. Oh my god Joong, yo-yo-you’re so g-go-good. Feel so good. Jebal!” He yelled the last word as Joong slammed his hips forward, his dick pressing against Seonghwa’s prostate. 

It made him grin. 

“I want you to cum again. Are you going to cum a third time?”

Seonghwa shook his head, a mumbled “can’t” being given before another loud moan left him.

“Mmm, I don’t think I want to cum then if you don’t. We can just stop now.” Hongjoong was a jackass. 

His jackassery had the intended effect though, as Seonghwa’s tears fell faster. “Ani, ani. Pl-please.” He cried and shook his head. “Please, I-I’m good, yo-you-your good boy.” 

“That’s right, you’re my good boy.” Hongjoong marveled at the fact he was still able to speak without issue considering the pleasure he was swimming in, but he was thankful for it. “You’re mine, my good boy, my baby, and I want you to cum again. Are you going to?”

Seonghwa nodded his head fervently, even though they both knew there was no way to know for sure if he would or wouldn’t. 

“That’s my good boy. Be still.” He warned as he increased his pace, hands once again holding onto Seonghwa’s hips, moving him just the slightest amount of help in aiding the pleasure they were experiencing. 

Hongjoong could feel Seonghwa’s cock rubbing against his stomach, as it was trapped between the pair. He thought about moving Seonghwa back into a seated position, with the intent of grabbing his dick again to help him cum a third time, but he decided against it. Joong was so close, and he was beginning to have trouble thinking clearly. The pleasure pooled in his groin, ready to be released as his fingers twitched and his toes curled. He breathed heavily, panting and sweating as he pushed past his own energy reserves to push in faster and harder. “Fu--fuck Hwa, baby, oh goddamn it. You’re so good.” He almost wanted to cry himself, overwhelmed with it all. The pleasure, the feelings, staring into the face of what he was doing. Something he had fantasized about so much but never dreamed it would turn into reality. A reality that beat his wet dreams into a pulp. 

For the second time he felt Seonghwa clench around his cock, and felt the eruption of hot seed on his stomach, his ear being the landing zone for the sounds of Seonghwa’s rapture as he came for a third time, moaning loudly and deeply. 

Hongjoong followed almost instantaneously, biting down on Seonghwa’s shoulder as he erupted, moaning just as loudly as his boyfriend, even though the sound was eclipsed by the shoulder between his teeth. His grip on Hwa’s waist was in a vice, and his cock pushed in as far as it could possibly go, filling his boyfriend to the brim. From the sound of another shallow gasp and moan, he knew that Seonghwa could feel the warmth spreading through him, his boyfriend’s cum painting his walls white exactly like he had asked. 

They basked in the silence and sticky mess they had created, neither one moving from their positions as their breaths mingled against each other’s skin. Hongjoong’s striking the bite he had delivered to Seonghwa’s shoulder, and Hwa’s sending shivers down Hongjoong’s spine as it crested against his ear. The room had grown dark while they had dissolved into one another, the only glow shining from the string of Christmas lights that AURAGE had strung up around the unused living room. 

Chapter Text

Hongjoong relaxed into the warm water, not even bothered by the bite of the cold bathtub hitting his back as he leaned against it, allowing room for Hwa to slip into the tub in front of Joong. As soon as the black haired beauty was in front of him, Hongjoong wrapped his arms around the man’s middle. Seonghwa sighed contentedly, leaning back against his boyfriend’s chest. Post sex afterglow lingered around them, the only sound that of the water filling the bathtub. Hongjoong didn’t know when he’d ever come down from the high he was experiencing. He had just had sex with Park Fucking Seonghwa, and it was so much more than he ever imagined it would be. His mind hummed with energy, but his body was exhausted. His legs ached, from the calf all the way up his thighs to his hips. Even his abdominal muscles screamed at him as he shifted in the water to press a kiss to Hwa’s temple. None of it bothered him. The aches were just a reminder of the beautiful moment he had just shared with the man he loved. 

Loved. Park Fucking Seonghwa loved him and he loved Park Fucking Seonghwa.

Hongjoong was living a dream, and he never wanted to wake from it. 

“You’re amazing.” Seonghwa’s voice was soft and tender, the first thing they had said to one another since they agreed to the desire to clean themselves up. 

“Am I? I was thinking you were the amazing one.” Joong chuckled, squeezing his boyfriend closer, not able to get enough physical contact. 

“You’re the one that gave me three orgasms, so I’m pretty sure the crown belongs to you.” Hwa answered with a small smile on his face, eyes closed, body limp. 

A feat that Hongjoong had never been able to accomplish before. It was honestly not something he thought was possible, considering the men he had been with in the past had had a much longer refractory period. He had heard that some men had no refractory period, or a very short one, but he had never met someone blessed with such a thing… until Seonghwa. The memory of each orgasm flashed into his mind, bringing with it more serotonin for his brain to float in. “You surprised the hell out of me with that.” He chuckled, ignoring the way the memories made his stomach flip.

“Surprised myself.” Seonghwa laughed. “You’re giving me a lot of first, Hongjoong.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Do you hear me complaining?”

Hongjoong nuzzled into Hwa’s neck. “Good boy.” He whispered the words, just to see if there would be any reaction from Seonghwa considering they were no longer exploring that dynamic.

The idol shivered, quite visibly. 

The wannabe producer grinned, but it also allowed him to ask the burning questions that had been on his mind since it all began. “You surprised me with that too. You like being praised, hmm? Is that something new for you, or something you’ve known about.” He pulled back and was able to see the blush on Seonghwa’s face. 

“I-I knew about it. Never been able-able to put it into practice though. You’re the first person that’s ever done it, and obviously I really loved it.” He opened his mouth to say more, but paused and closed his mouth instead. 

Hongjoong noticed and frowned. “What were you going to say?”

Seonghwa smiled as he glanced towards Hongjoong. “I want to always be your good boy.”

The world abandoned Joong to his fate, letting him float away into outer space. He took a second to let those words sink in before he smirked. “I have a feeling you always will be.”

The singer smiled again before he moved to turn the water off, grabbing his body wash in the process. “Can I admit to my own surprise with you now?” He scooted around in the bathtub so that he was facing Hongjoong, squirting some of bodywash on his hands just before they slid across Joong’s arms and chest. 

“Of course, baby.” Hongjoong scooted so that he was further out of the water, eyes never leaving Hwa’s face even as the other’s focus was entirely on spreading body wash across Joong’s body. He was a little bit worried that the idol was going to admit to not liking how the salesman acted. Maybe he had only liked it during but was now second guessing Hongjoong being so domineering. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to be so…” he paused, eyes glancing to the side as he clearly tried to think of the right English word. “Umm,” Hwa frowned, hands stilling. “How do you say?” He paused again and chewed on his bottom lip. “Like how you were telling me what to do, and making me beg… um, what’s the word?” His large eyes flashed to Hongjoong, shimmering with curiosity. 

“Dominant? Domineering?” Hongjoong offered, still on the hook, wiggling with uncertainty. 

Hwa snapped his fingers and pointed at Hongjoong, nodding his head. “That’s it. Dominant. I didn’t expect that from you. You’ve been very much the opposite,” he chuckled. 

Joong waited for him to say more, but when Seonghwa started rinsing off the areas of Hongjoong he had just lathered up, the brown haired man realized nothing more was coming. “Was it bad? Did I go too far?” His uncertainty was apparently heard in his voice.

Seonghwa snapped his head up, eyes even larger than normal. “Bad? God, no! I wanted you to be like that. I had hoped that you would lead, and you definitely delivered. God Hongjoong, you were so incredibly sexy like that. Not-not to say you’re not always sexy, because you are, but seeing you in that light was amazing. I could very much get used to it, I’m just saying.” He laughed again.

A weight lifted from Hongjoong’s chest as he let the words sink in. He didn’t think before he moved, pushing forward as his fingers hooked under Hwa’s chin, forcing his eyes up. Seonghwa’s lips parted and an audible gasp slipped free. “I can be dominant out of the bedroom too, ya know. Or in this case, out of the living room.” He smirked as another shiver passed through his boyfriend. “You make the most beautiful sounds baby, especially when you’re begging me, so don’t think that it was a one off. I’ll lead you every single time.” There was that rush of power again, thrumming through his veins like a low bass rift. 

Seonghwa’s eyes dropped closed, another exhale leaving his body. He seemed to forget himself for a second, but quickly pulled his thoughts back together, eyes opening as he nodded. “Please,” he whispered, swallowing audibly. “Can I-Can I finish cleaning you up?” He gestured towards Joong. 

Hongjoong nodded his head. “Of course beautiful, and then I’ll repeat the favor.”

⧭

After their pleasant bath was over, the pair retired to Seonghwa’s bedroom, cleaned and dried off. Hwa insisted on washing Joong’s ruined clothing, and gave the shorter man a pair of too long sweats and a long sleeve shirt to wear until his clothes were done washing and drying. Hwa sat on the edge of his bed, watching as Hongjoong slipped the long sleeve shirt over his head. The second that Joong approached Seonghwa, the black haired man reached his arms out to grasp the salesman’s hands in his own. He gave a light tug to pull Joong closer, staring up at him with more adoration and love in his eyes than Hongjoong had ever seen. No one had ever looked at him the way Seonghwa looked at him at that moment. It made his stomach flip and his heart beat faster. 

“Do you want to stay the night?” Seonghwa spoke up, his eyes sparkling with hope. 

“I can, but I’ve got work in the morning.”

“I know.” Seonghwa smiled. “You’ll have your uniform ready to go, so you can go straight to work from here.”

“Sounds like a good plan, baby.” Hongjoong frowned as Hwa released his hand, but realized it was only so the idol could scoot back on the bed, patting the space next to him. 

Hongjoong took the invitation and climbed onto the bed, lying down beside the man that made his heart skip beats. The second he was comfortable, Seonghwa’s head was on his chest, just over his heart. One of the singer’s long legs slipped in between Joong’s to tangle them together. It brought a content smile to Hongjoong’s face, finding one of Hwa’s hands to intertwine their fingers over Joong’s stomach. 

After a minute of silence, Joong spoke up. “How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted, sore, but so happy that I can’t put it into words.” Seonghwa scooted closer so that there was no room between them. 

Hongjoong smiled again and shook his head. “I should have asked my question properly. I meant about AURAGE.”

“Oh.” Hwa was silent for a minute, processing the question. “I still miss them. That’s not going to go away. I’ve missed them since I was forced to leave the group. Missed them since I said my goodbyes and boarded the plane to fly here. Today was really difficult, but I’m okay. You helped a lot. And knowing that I will see them again also helps. They’re getting ready for another North American tour, but keep that to yourself please.” Hwa seemed to realize what he had said, as his head popped up and looked worried. 

Hongjoong mimed, sealing his lips and throwing away a key. “I won’t say anything.”

Seonghwa chuckled and pressed a kiss to his lips, one that lingered, neither pulling away, or pushing forward for more. When the black haired man finally broke away, a light blush was on his cheeks again and he laid his head back down over Joong’s heart. “I will probably go and see them while they’re in LA. They’re supposed to do two shows there, and then they’re supposed to go to Phoenix, so I’ll go to that one too. I’m also thinking that I will go and see them back home in April, for my birthday.”

Hongjoong nodded. “I think you should baby, that’d be a great way to spend your birthday.”

“Will you go with me?” Once more Seonghwa moved so he could look at Hongjoong.

“You want me to go to Korea with you?” His eyes rounded with shock, even as Seonghwa nodded his head eagerly. “I mean, I’d have to get my passport. I don’t have one.”

“How do you not have a passport?” The idol looked incredulous. 

Hongjoong chuckled at the expression. “I’ve never needed one.”

“Well you do now. We will get you one and you will go with me.” His mind made up, Seonghwa let his head drop again. 

Joong smiled, feeling those butterflies once more. With every new step that he and Seonghwa took, the more his life appeared anchored to his idol’s. Funny how not so long ago his life largely revolved around his adoration for AURAGE, Seonghwa in particular. His family teased him for it, as did his coworkers. Yeosang was the only one that really understood it and fanned the flames of Hongjoong’s obsession rather than telling him he needed to get a life like some people. At points Hongjoong felt bad, telling himself how silly it was to be so consumed by a group, a man, that didn’t even know he existed. But they were always there for him, lifting him up in the worst of times, and guiding him to be a better person. How could he not be totally enamored by them? And look at him now! All of his “obsessive” behavior wasn’t for nothing, as he had landed the most amazing person in the world. 

Seonghwa had become an even bigger part of his life than he had been when he was in AURAGE. It was something that Hongjoong was eternally grateful for. He didn’t feel that he deserved Seonghwa’s affections, his heart or his body. Somehow though, the idol had chosen him. Chosen him years ago, and used the memory of him to get through the toughest time in his life. Chose Kim Mother Fucking Hongjoong and came to America, to Montrose, Colorado, just to see if the connection he had felt that night was genuine. 

“Babe…” Hongjoong started, questions spilling into his mind. 

“Hmm?” Seonghwa sounded so tired as he answered, clearly on the verge of falling asleep after they had lapsed into silence. 

“What would you have done if you had never found me? How did you know where I worked? Or was that a coincidence?” 

Seonghwa chuckled. “I found your business card purely on chance, so me coming to your store wasn’t a coincidence, no. I did need cell phone service, so I thought it was pretty great that you worked at a place where I could get service.” He laughed again. “But, I only planned to be here for a year initially. To see if I could find you, and if I couldn’t, I would go back home.”

“You realize that’s crazy right?” It was Joong’s turn to chuckle. 

“I know. But I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. If it turned out that I couldn’t find you, or that the connection wasn’t really there, I would have just gone back home and picked up the pieces to figure out my next move void of your presence. Luckily it didn’t go like that. I found you,” he looked up at Hongjoong, a serene smile on his face, “and the connection was real, and still there. It was the best idea I ever had.”

“I’ll say.” Joong returned the smile. “We certainly wouldn’t be here right now if you hadn’t decided to come and find me. God, I can’t believe Park Fucking Seonghwa came to find me.” He laughed again, this one in disbelief. 

“That’s the second time you’ve referred to me as Park Fucking Seonghwa.” Hwa glared, clearly in disapproval. 

“Hmm? What? I didn’t say that.” Joong played innocent. 

Seonghwa frowned, narrowing his eyes. “I do not have a middle name, Hongjoong. That is a western tradition.”

Hongjoong howled with laughter. “Oh baby, you are so funny.”

The idol blinked in confusion, clearly not finding anything funny, which only made Hongjoong laugh harder. 

⧭

Early morning light beamed Hongjoong right in the eye, making him grumble and throw a hand over his face to try and shy away from it. As he moved he became aware of the warmth of the bed and the comforting weight of Seonghwa’s arm draped across his waist. He cracked one eye open, taking in the peaceful sight of Hwa still asleep beside him, his dark hair falling into his face. 

For a moment, Joong watched as Seonghwa slept, his mouth slightly open and his breath falling across his bottom lip like fog rolling in on a riverbank. Hongjoong’s chest tightened with a swell of emotions he hadn’t expected to feel so strongly. Love. Contentment. A happiness so deep it made his heart ache. Seonghwa was his boyfriend. The achingly beautiful man had chosen him. Unable to resist, Joong reached out, brushing a strand of hair from Hwa’s face.

Seonghwa stirred, his lashes fluttering as his eyes slowly opened. A small, sleepy smile spread across his lips when he saw Hongjoong. “Morning,” he murmured, his voice thick with sleep.

“Morning, beautiful,” Hongjoong replied, his own smile matching Seonghwa’s.

Seonghwa shifted closer, nuzzling his face into Hongjoong’s neck. “Do you really have to go to work today?” he mumbled, his tone betraying his reluctance to let Hongjoong go.

“Unfortunately,” Joong said, chuckling softly. “But not until later. We’ve got some time.” He couldn’t call in again, no matter how much he was tempted to do so. 

“Good,” Seonghwa murmured, pressing a kiss to Hongjoong’s collarbone. “Then let me take care of you this morning.”

Before Hongjoong could protest or ask what he meant, the singer slipped out of bed, tugging the blanket back over Joong’s shoulders. “Stay here. I’ll call you when breakfast is ready.”

The brown haired man watched as Seonghwa disappeared into the kitchen, his heart full. He stayed in bed for a little longer before finally deciding to get up and join the idol. The smell of something delicious greeted him as he stepped into the bright, cozy space.

Seonghwa was at the stove, humming softly to himself as he worked. He glanced up when Hongjoong entered, his face lighting up. “Hey, I told you to stay in bed.”

“I couldn’t help it,” Joong said, grinning as he walked over and wrapped his arms around Seonghwa’s waist from behind. “You’re too tempting.”

Seonghwa laughed, his free hand covering Hongjoong’s where it rested on his stomach. “Flattery won’t get you out of doing the dishes.”

“I wasn’t trying to,” Hongjoong replied, pressing a kiss to Seonghwa’s shoulder. “You’re gorgeous, you know that?”

“Keep sweet talking me,” Seonghwa teased, though his soft smile gave away how much the words meant to him.

The two finished breakfast together, sitting down to eat with easy conversation and shared smiles. When it was finally time for Hongjoong to leave, Seonghwa handed him his freshly cleaned uniform, neatly folded and still warm from the dryer.

“Thanks for this,” Hongjoong said, holding up the clothes.

“Of course,” Seonghwa replied, his expression softening. “I just want to make things easier for you.”

Hongjoong leaned in, capturing Seonghwa’s lips in a tender kiss. “You always do.”

They lingered by the door, reluctant to part, but Hongjoong eventually pulled away with a sigh. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?” The two had made dinner plans, something the singer insisted on. A home cooked meal for Hongjoong, and well, who was he to deny the man his desires?

“I’ll be here,” Seonghwa promised, his voice gentle. “Have a good day, Joongie.”

Hongjoong left with a full heart, the memory of Seonghwa’s smile carrying him through the day ahead.

⧭

Sunday’s were typically slow days at the phone store, but with it being December and everyone out Christmas shopping, it was more of a toss up as to what Sunday would actually be like. Hongjoong had made a lot of sales already and it was only the middle of the month, so he wasn’t worried if they were slow. He really hoped it would be so that he’d have more time to text his boyfriend and less time of having to deal with people. With how busy work had been since December first, he was people-ed out. Being an introvert, his social battery was so depleted he was surprised that he even had the wherewithal to entertain AURAGE and then Yeosang and Jongho along with them. He didn’t know where he had gotten the energy to do all of that, but had a feeling it was mostly because of Hwa that he managed at all. The man gave him energy, and Hongjoong thrived on it. 

With it being Sunday, only four people were scheduled to work from open to close, as the store closed earlier than normal. Sadly that also meant he was working with Ted, and Hongjoong really hated that. He had to stifle and silence his groan when he saw the man’s car pull into the parking lot. Joong was already at the front door with Diamond, unlocking the store to head inside. When he heard an audible groan from Diamond though, he looked her way with a raised eyebrow. 

“I didn’t know he worked today.” She sighed in clear annoyance. “Ignore me. I didn’t say anything.”

Hongjoong chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t worry, the feeling is mutual.”

A small sense of worry built up in his stomach. Diamond was a Halo. She was obsessed with Mingi, and Hongjoong hadn’t said anything about her to AURAGE while they were in town. Was that wrong of him? He didn’t know Diamond that well, but he did enjoy working with her. They often got into discussions about AURAGE and joked about kidnapping them from Korea. She completely supported his love of Seonghwa (still very much in the dark about the idol being Joong’s boyfriend), and he supported her love of Mingi. Hongjoong wanted to get to know her better, but he hadn’t been scheduled to work with her as much as he wished. More often than not he was working with Kiandra, which he really approved of since she was his work bestie, but Diamond was cool too. He felt guilty over not letting her meet her mental boyfriend. 

A thought occurred to him though. What if Mingi was okay with doing a FaceTime call with her sometime? Hongjoong wasn’t against asking the other man. Though maybe not right off the bat. That would be weird. Joong made a mental note to start texting Mingi so he could develop a good rapport with the man before he brought such an idea up. Maybe it would even bring him and Diamond closer, and he liked that idea. 

The first two hours of the day sped by despite there being no customers in the store. Diamond and Hongjoong sat at one table, discussing their usual AURAGE obsession. Ted sat at a nearby table with the Negative Nancy coworker Aiden. Hongjoong got along pretty well with Aiden, and the guy could be cool when he wanted to be. However, after his son was fired from the other company store in town, Aiden had become nothing more than a negative soul sucking life force that everyone wanted to avoid. Except Ted apparently. Hongjoong hoped they’d become best friends and leave him alone. 

“Have you gotten Kia into AURAGE yet or kpop at all?” Diamond frowned. 

Hongjoong chuckled. “I’ve tried so many times, but she keeps saying no. Though there was this one picture I shared of San once and she thought he was hot.”

“That’s cause she likes them muscled men. She would go for San!” The girl tossed her hands in the air in defeat. “She has to go to Korea with us man! If she doesn’t get on bored with this, then I’m calling the police!”

“You can’t call the police on everything and everyone, Diamond!” Hongjoong laughed again, so very used to hearing Diamond talk about calling the police over the smallest injustice or perceived injustice. 

“Watch me.” She pointed her pen at Hongjoong, a serious look on her face. 

Hongjoong shook his head, laughing as he leaned back in his chair. “Alright, let’s say you do call the police. What’s the charge? ‘Failure to appreciate Korean pop idols’? I’m pretty sure that’s not in the criminal code.”

“It should be,” Diamond retorted, twirling her pen like it was a gavel. “Neglecting to appreciate AURAGE’s existence is a crime against humanity.”

“You’re relentless,” Hongjoong said, grinning. “I mean, I get it, but I’m pretty sure Kia would argue her case. She doesn’t listen to you half the time anyway.”

Diamond gasped, clutching her chest dramatically. “Rude! I’m the voice of reason around here.”

“Voice of something, that’s for sure,” Hongjoong teased, dodging a playful swipe of her pen.

Before Diamond could respond, the faint sound of AURAGE’s latest single filtered through the store’s speakers. Diamond’s eyes widened as she whipped her head around to the source of the sound. “Did you... did you make this the playlist for today?”

Hongjoong shrugged, fighting back a smirk. “Gotta keep myself entertained somehow.”

Diamond beamed. “See? This is why you’re my favorite. If Ted had been in charge of music, we’d be listening to classic rock all day, and I’d probably die.”

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said classic rock was tolerable?”

“It was ,” Diamond said with a dramatic sigh. “But Ted’s playlists are all dad rock, and not the good kind. If I hear ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ one more time, I’m going to riot.”

“Noted,” Hongjoong said, shaking his head. “AURAGE it is.”

As the song played, Diamond began humming along, then singing under her breath. When it got to Mingi’s rap verse, she sat up straighter and pointed dramatically at Hongjoong. “This part? This part is why I’m in love with him.”

Hongjoong chuckled. “Just this part? Not, you know, the other dozen reasons you’ve listed before?”

“Obviously it’s everything about him,” Diamond said, waving a hand. “But his voice? The way he raps like he’s personally declaring war on my sanity? Perfection.”

“You need help,” Hongjoong said, though he couldn’t help but laugh. “Serious, professional help.”

“And you’re not offering?” she shot back with a grin.

“Not a chance,” Hongjoong replied.

They both laughed, the banter flowing easily until the front door chimed, signaling a customer’s arrival. Hongjoong groaned, but Diamond leaned over and whispered, “Watch this. Bet they’re here for a bill pay.”

As the customer approached, Diamond was proven right when they proclaimed they needed to pay on their account. Hongjoong gave her a side eye as he stood up to assist. “Alright, psychic, when are you winning the lottery so we can fund our Korea trip?”

Diamond smirked. “Oh, honey, I don’t need psychic powers for that. I need a Mingi body pillow and a GoFundMe.”

Hongjoong nearly tripped over his own feet as he walked away, trying to stifle his laughter.

⧭

By five o’clock Hongjoong was ready to go! Only four customers came in all day, and none of them were there for anything good. He had texted Seonghwa several times throughout the day, mostly giving updates on how bored he was but also how amusing Diamond was. Seonghwa had informed him of his very eventful day that involved going to the gym, grocery shopping, visiting the cafe, finding a good spot for his own instagram shoot and deep cleaning his house. It was a much busier day than Joong had had, that was for certain. He was glad that Seonghwa was doing okay and seemingly staying busy. He knew that his boyfriend oftentimes struggled with the slower pace of his life, after getting so conditioned to a schedule that kept him busy from sun up to sun down. Hongjoong couldn’t imagine going through such a change, and it only proved to put Hwa in an even brighter light, one that showed his resilience and strength to a higher degree. 

Once the closing duties were finished, Hongjoong’s mind had slipped off to the previous day’s events… the taste of Seonghwa’s skin, the sounds he made when Joong was buried deep inside of him… fuck. How he longed to hear those sounds again, to feel his boyfriend shiver and shake around him, to tell Park Fucking Seonghwa he was a good boy…

“Hongjoong?”

The salesman snapped out of his thoughts, finding Diamond staring at him with wide eyes and an accusatory stare. “Dude you can’t just zone out on me when I’m talking. I’m calling the police!”

He laughed again, “Sorry, didn’t mean to do that. What did you say?”

“I was asking if we were done so we could leave.” 

“Right, yeah, we’re good. Let’s go.” Oops. Hongjoong felt silly for being caught, but as soon as he was in his Jeep, his mind ventured back into unsafe territory. 

Hongjoong:
Heading your way baby ♥️

My Boyfriend:
Yay! Doors unlocked for you

Hongjoong all but flew to Seonghwa’s house, feeling a sense of deja vu in his actions. It was just the day before that he rushed to the man’s home, but for a very different reason. This time Hongjoong wasn’t worried about the singer’s mental health, but was instead dying to get his hands back on the beautiful man. He thought it was a bit comical how quickly things had shifted for them. All it took was for Hwa to break down that final wall and now there were no reservations left in Hongjoong. He knew what he wanted, and hoped that Seonghwa wanted it too. The salesman didn’t figure they’d be able to go all the way today, as he knew that Hwa had mentioned being sore that morning, and that was fine. Joong would just be happy with running his hand across Seonghwa’s silky smooth skin. 

The mere thought had him gripping the wheel just a bit tighter as he pulled into the driveway. He sat in his Jeep for a minute, trying to calm his racing heart. Not to mention he didn’t want to walk in sporting a half hard dick. Ridiculous. Seonghwa had said he was cooking dinner, so Hongjoong would need to get through dinner before he was able to touch his boyfriend. The torment was going to be so horrible. 

Eventually, Hongjoong stepped out of his Jeep and approached the front door. He tested the doorknob, finding that it was unlocked, just as Hwa had said. The black haired man wasn’t found in the living room, but the sound of water running in the kitchen told Joong where his boyfriend was. He stepped into the kitchen, finding Hwa with his back to the doorway, standing at the sink as he washed various vegetables. Hongjoong took a moment to bask in the man’s unnoticed and unworried presence. His eyes raked over Seonghwa’s backside, noting the way that his pants and sweater hugged his frame. The belt on his pants only drew attention to the beauty of his tiny waist. A waist that Hongjoong already missed squeezing, and tasting. 

Finally deciding to make his move, Hongjoong walked over and grabbed Seonghwa, his arms circling around him as his mouth met the man’s neck. The initial startle from the singer was short lived once he realized who Joong was, and a smile spread across his face. “You scared me.” He spoke in a soft tone, still holding onto a couple of radishes he had just rinsed off. 

“Mmm, sorry, baby.” Joong apologized with a devilish smirk. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you today. About how good you taste,” he ran his tongue over the man’s neck for emphasis, enjoying the shiver he received in response, “About how you sound when you’re begging to cum or saying my name.” The demon took over Joong once again, and there was no stopping it. His hands squeezed Hwa’s waist before one of them slipped underneath the singer’s sweater, fingers splayed to touch as much of Seonghwa’s smooth skin as possible. “I want to make you feel so good again.” His voice remained in a low, hazy whisper, dripping with seduction and a commanding aura. 

Seonghwa seemed to melt into Hongjoong, his weight coming to rest against the shorter man’s chest. His breathing had already hitched in his throat, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. He looked so beautiful. “I-I’ve thought of y-you all day too.” His voice, like Joong’s, was barely above a whisper. 

“What about me?” Hongjoong dared to push his hand further down, fingertips just barely sliding beneath Hwa’s waist line, but it was still enough to make Seonghwa moan and jerk forward in anticipation. 

Hongjoong’s mouth was in line with Seonghwa’s jaw with their slight height difference, and so he used it to his advantage, trailing kisses and small nips against the sensitive skin. Hearing a clatter, he looked into the sink, noting that Seonghwa had dropped the radishes he was holding, his hands moving to hold onto the edge of the counter in front of him. 

“Um,” Hwa tried to speak, clearly having trouble. “I… I thought about…”

“Yes?” Hongjoong let his hand inch further down, just barely. He was amazed at the reaction he was having on Park Fucking Seonghwa as he watched another shiver rake through his boyfriend’s body. 

“Joong…” Seonghwa moaned the man’s name out, clenching the counter tighter. 

Hongjoong was so amused. For all intents and purposes, he hadn’t done anything to warrant such a reaction. A few kisses and bites, and a hand that hadn’t even yet touched the singer’s dick, yet there Seonghwa was, hardly able to contain himself. It was insanely hot, and told Hongjoong he didn’t need to stop. 

“What things have you thought about me today, baby?” Hongjoong prompted again, pulling the sweater away from Seonghwa’s shoulder to see the mark he had left. It made his eyes darken with hunger, but instead of biting the mark once more, he pressed his lips to it lightly, being rewarded with another moan. 

“I-I… I-can’t thi-think.” Seonghwa stuttered out, his eyes closed tight as his brain seemingly melted.

“Sure you can, baby, it’s not hard. Don’t you want to be my good boy?”

Seonghwa nodded his head energetically and eagerly. “Y-yes, mo-more than any-anything.”

“Have you thought about my mouth on you?” Hongjoong pressed his lips to Hwa’s neck again at the junction between his neck and shoulder.

“Yes,” Seonghwa answered quickly, though his voice was still breathy and hardly more than a whisper. 

Joong gripped the man’s waist with his other hand. “What else, baby? You want me to do all of the work, hmm?” He asked with a giggle. 

Seonghwa bit down on his lip and shook his head. “N-no. I’ve th-thought about how good-how good you made me feel.”

“Mhm. Be more specific, gorgeous.” Hongjoong moved his hand down further, stopping once his hand was just above the pubic region, lightly running his fingers across Hwa’s skin but not going any further. 

“Your hands…” Hwa groaned. It was an obvious thing to pick considering how Hongjoong was already teasing him with the aforementioned hands. “The-the way they touched me yes-yesterday.”

“Good boy.” Hongjoong grinned. “Do you like how they’re touching you now?”

“Yes,” Seonghwa nodded his head eagerly, answering in a whispered and shaky breath.

“I want to make you feel so good. Can I?”

“Pl-please.” Seonghwa seemed to melt further, knees buckling. If it weren’t for Hongjoong and and the counter, the idol probably would have dropped to the ground. 

“Turn around.” Hongjoong pulled his hands away from the other man, hearing a low whine at the lack of contact, and noting how Hwa really did almost collapse, suddenly gripping the counter even tighter as Joong stepped away. 

It took a minute for Hwa to compose himself, but then he did turn around, eyes heavy with lust and barely focused. He appeared a little bit confused. His hands struck out behind him to grip the counter again. The look he gave Hongjoong nearly sent the brown haired man into a coma. Eyes heavily lidded, his bottom lip being pulled into his mouth by his teeth, bringing all of the attention to how beautifully plump his lips were. It took everything in Hongjoong to keep his composure and not turn into the melting puddle himself. 

There was that thought again on whether or not this was the real world. What had Hongjoong done in a past life to be so lucky and blessed in this one?

Hongjoong closed the space between the pair, tilting his head up to reach Hwa’s lips, taking them over in a heated kiss. The moment his tongue slipped into Seonghwa’s mouth, the black haired man was moaning again, his arms wrapping around Joong to pull him even closer. Not wanting to break the kiss, Joong moved a hand between them to massage Seonghwa’s dick through his pants. Of course such actions made the singer jerk forward and moan louder, his own mouth going slack. Hongjoong giggled into the kiss.

“You’re so sensitive today baby,” he spoke against Hwa’s lips, but was forced to kiss other areas as poor Seonghwa was completely lost in the sauce. Hongjoong moved his lips to the underside of Hwa’s jaw, tasting him thoroughly. His hand gripped the idol’s cock through his pants, pumping it as best he could. 

Hongjoong pulled back enough to watch Seonghwa’s face. “You taste so fucking good,” Hongjoong whispered. “Taste good, are so fucking sexy, and we all know how I feel about the noises you make. Let’s get your pants down, yeah?”

Seonghwa was blitzed out, nodding his head with his eyes still closed, but once Hongjoong’s hand was on the belt, undoing it, Hwa’s eyes snapped open and he shook his head. “No-not in here. My room. Please.”

“What’s wrong with being in here?” Hongjoong giggled. “You weren’t picky about where we did things yesterday.”

Hwa leveled Hongjoong with a withering stare, and honestly the brown haired man was surprised he could muster the strength for it considering how he was back to holding onto the counter for dear life. “It’s the kitchen, Hongjoong.” He spoke in such a deadpan voice, as if this was the greatest offense in the world to even consider having any kind of sexual contact in the kitchen. 

“Okay?” Hongjoong was really not understanding. 

“Food is prepared here.” He spoke in an exasperated tone. “My room.” There was a commanding and bold sense to his words, and it made a shiver crawl up Joong’s spine. Holy shit. Commanding Seonghwa was fucking hot, wow. Hongjoong blinked, trying to find his composure again, because he was not one to take orders normally… but damn!

“Right. Well one day I’ll change your mind on that.” Hongjoong stepped away, moving a few feet away to the island that stood in the kitchen. His hand ran across the solid smooth surface. “Because this is the perfect height for me to bend you over it.” Finding his boldness once again, he giggled and waited for Seonghwa to move. Only once the other man had gone into his bedroom did Hongjoong follow. 

As Joong rounded the corner into the singer’s bedroom, he spotted Hwa taking his sweater off, folding it nice and neat and placing it on top of his dresser. Hongjoong chuckled, but let his eyes roam over the man’s back. The thought of putting his mark all over it made him groan. God Seonghwa was so insanely gorgeous. Was there anyone else in the world as attractive as him? Hongjoong certainly didn’t think so. And Park Fucking Seonghwa was his. It sent tingles through his body to have that realization again, for the one hundredth time. 

He stayed in the doorway, watching his boyfriend undress, a bit confused on why he was getting completely naked for all that Hongjoong had planned, but he wasn’t going to complain about it either. It just meant he had more canvas to work with, more skin to tease. There were a lot of ways to get someone off after all. 

Once Seonghwa was undressed, all of his clothing folded neatly on top of his dresser (minus his underwear, which had instead been thrown into his dirty clothes hamper and made Hongjoong raise an eyebrow in confusion), the singer turned to find Hongjoong. 

“Why are you still dressed?” He eyed Hongjoong with a raised eyebrow, moving to sit down on the edge of his bed. His hands gripped his mattress now instead of the kitchen counter. His cock stood at attention, and even from Joong’s vantage point across the room, he could see how much it was glistening with precum. Was that why Hwa had thrown out his boxer briefs? Had he soaked them? Fuck if that was true, then Hongjoong thought he might just die once he confirmed his theory. 

“Why would I not be?” He chuckled, walking further into the room. He watched as Seonghwa spread his legs wide the closer that Joong got to him. The salesman stopped in between those legs, looking down at Hwa, his fingers running through the man’s beautiful locks. 

“Are you planning to fuck me with all of your clothes on again?” Seonghwa pouted, pushing his bottom lip out so far that it nearly shook from the effort. Despite the incredibly heated atmosphere, Hongjoong couldn’t help but think of how incredibly adorable Hwa looked. 

He chuckled and shook his head. “I wasn’t going to fuck you, baby. You said this morning that you were really sore. I was just going to suck you off.”

Seonghwa was immediately shaking his head, both hands moving to push up Hongjoong’s shirt. “No, I want you inside of me again.”

Hongjoong lifted his arms and helped to remove his shirt, but his eyes shined with worry. “Baby, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want to hurt you. Trust me, I’d love to be inside of you again,” his fingers gripped tighter on the hair in his hand, causing Hwa to hiss. “But you said it yourself, you’ve not been with someone my size before. You need to be able to recuperate from that before we do it again.” Joong was using every ounce of strength he had to say such things. 

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa started, his tone back to one that left no room for an argument. Hongjoong had no idea how in the world he could be so pliant and such a good boy one moment, and then commanding the next. What the hell even was Park Fucking Seonghwa? “You’re going to fuck me. I don’t care about a little soreness. I want you so bad. I need you inside of me. Want you to make me feel full again in a way that only you can.” His voice had dropped an octave, speaking with such seduction it was a wonder that Joong’s clothes hadn’t removed themselves. To add emphasis to his words, the singer unzipped Joong’s pants and pressed his hand inside to grab the man’s cock. 

Joong bit down hard on his lip to keep himself from moaning. “Fuck you leave no room for bargaining.” He mumbled. 

“Barg-gain-ing?” Seonghwa questioned with his head tilted to the side. 

“Don’t worry about it baby.” The retail worker shook his head. It was not time for English lessons. “Okay, yeah, have it your way, but I swear to god I’m stopping if you end up in pain.”

“That’s fine.” Hwa nodded his head, leaning forward to press a series of kisses to Hongjoong’s stomach, making that moan Joong had tried to hold back initially, slip free regardless. “I love that you’re so caring and kind.” Hwa looked up at Joong from his spot, a smile on his face. 

Hongjoong returned the smile. “I love you, of course I’m going to be caring and kind. You’re my everything, Seonghwa.”

The older man smiled even brighter. “Good, then make your everything happier and get back to doing what you were doing moments ago, but without your clothes.”

Joong didn’t have a chance to say anything to that order, for Seonghwa’s tongue and lips were back on his stomach, making the younger man squirm. Seonghwa only pulled back when Hongjoong told him to lay down on the bed, which he promptly did, laying down horizontally on the bed with his legs hanging off. 

Hongjoong pulled his pants and underwear off as Hwa wanted, bunching them up on the ground before he dropped to his knees on top of them. Once he was comfortable, he grabbed Seonghwa’s cock, listening to the beautiful moan his boyfriend released. Joong bit his own lip to keep himself calm, but he couldn’t deny how excited he was to finally have his mouth on his boyfriend’s dick. 

Hwa propped himself up on his elbows so he could watch Hongjoong, but it didn’t bother the other man. He ran his hand up and down, grinning at just how easy the slide was. “Did you soak your underwear, baby?” His eyes met Hwa’s, and he noted the way his face turned red and he dropped back onto the bed. “Don’t be embarrassed, I think it’s hot. I love that I get you this fucking wet. God, what a turn on.”

“Really?” Seonghwa glanced back in his direction, his voice small. 

“Yes, really.” To make his point, Joong used his tongue to lap up some of the fluid. He groaned, getting more turned on by the simple act. Hongjoong had never cared one way or another about giving someone a blowjob, but with Seonghwa, it was something he had fantasized about many times. Five years of living with desire, and now he was finally getting to fulfill it.

His eyes darted over the bruises he had left on the man’s thighs and he groaned. They looked so good on his boyfriend. Joong reached out and pressed down on one of them in a moment of sadism, watching as Seonghwa jerked, hissing in obvious pain but the pain subsided to pleasure as the hiss turned into a small whimpering moan. 

Locking eyes with Seonghwa, the salesman moved his hand to grasp Hwa’s cock again, and flicked his thumb across the tip, paying special attention to the hole, watching as his boyfriend moaned loudly, head falling back between his shoulder blades. Joong grinned and finally took the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue all around as he inched further and further down. The series of moans he heard was music to his ears. 

Seonghwa gasped, moaned, and cried out, hands finding their way into Joong’s hair. He didn’t apply pressure, nor did he pull. “Oh my god, Hongjoong!” The singer’s thighs shook, his whole body vibrating. “Oh my god.” He whispered the repeated exclamation. “Fuck. Fuck. Oh god!” To say Seonghwa was losing it was an understatement. “Babe! Babe! I’m not- I just… oh my god…” 

Hongjoong almost laughed, witnessing the complete breakdown of his boyfriend just from having his cock in his mouth. Joong took as much of Seonghwa into his mouth as he could, using his hand to grip the base he couldn’t quite reach. He set a relentless pace, bobbing his head back and forth as quickly as he could, cheeks hollowed to create a vacuum. 

Seonghwa screamed, legs pulling up to wrap around Hongjoong’s head, and oh god if there was a preferable way to die, this was it for Hongjoong. Stuck between Park Fucking Seonghwa’s thighs. He couldn’t imagine a better way to go. He wasn’t sure if Hwa was overly sensitive, or if he just really really liked blowjobs, and Joong didn’t care either. Being stuck between Seonghwa’s thighs was truly the happiest place to be. The hands in his hair gripped harder, gasps, broken moans, and occasional yells breaking the sounds of sucking taking place in the room. 

Sadly Hongjoong didn’t get as much time as he wanted with his boyfriend’s dick, as very soon the black haired man was pulling on Joong’s hair. “Sto-sto-stop oh my fucking god, please.” His body visibly shook again and Hongjoong slowly pulled off, running his tongue over every inch as he pulled his head up. 

“What’s wrong?” He grinned as he looked at Seonghwa, the singer even more blitzed out than he had been before. 

“I don’t-I don’t…” he sighed and dropped his upper body back onto the bed. 

Hongjoong took that as an invitation and leaned forward again to suck the tip of Hwa’s cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue again. 

“Hongjoong!” Hwa yelled even louder, thighs involuntarily squeezing Joong again. “Oh god! Pleas-jebal! JEBAL!”

Joong giggled but relented. “Damn baby, you’re more sensitive than I originally thought. Why is that, hmm?”

Seonghwa didn’t answer, his chest rising and falling in quick succession. His legs were still pulled up, and as Hongjoong pulled back some, he was given the sight of Hwa’s hole, spit and precum having already mixed together as they dropped from the man’s cock down his balls, and over his hole. 

Hongjoong pushed Hwa’s legs further up and dove in, his tongue immediately lapping across the puckered hole. Hwa yelled again, his hands gripping the blanket. 

The brown haired man ignored the pleas, both in English and Korean, his tongue pushing in and out in a violent pace that had Hwa trembling again. By the time that Hongjoong felt satisfied with what he was doing to his boyfriend, he pulled back and stood up to examine Seonghwa. 

He was ruined. The black haired man’s eyes were barely open so heavy were his eyelids. His mouth was only slightly open, the smallest gap between his lips. He moved his head back and forth slowly, shaking his head to nothing, mumbling incoherencies, hands flexing and opening on his blanket over and over. Occasionally, a full body shiver would run through him. Hongjoong thought he had never looked as gorgeous as he did now. 

“Is your lube still in the living room, beautiful?” Hongjoong smiled as he looked down at Hwa. The man mumbled something else, but Joong couldn’t understand it. “Do you need a minute, sweetheart?” 

Seonghwa nodded his head and Joong giggled. He moved to sit down beside the other man. His own erection was starting to get painful, but he still wanted to abuse Hwa’s prostate before he finally allowed himself to get inside of his boyfriend. Though he was also wondering if he might have overdone it, because Seonghwa had become a boneless lump that was hardly responsive to the things going on around him. Hongjoong stroked himself for a minute, just to try and take some of the edge off, unsure how much longer he could torture himself this way. 

“Nightstand.” Hwa finally spoke a word that made sense, one of his hands freeing the blanket from his death grip to gesture towards the nightstand that stood beside his bed. 

Joong glanced over, but there was nothing on the top of the nightstand save for a lamp. He stood and walked over to pull the drawer open. Of course it was clear of useless things and everything was nicely organized inside. A bottle of melatonin, a nail file, lip balm, a tablet, and the lube. Hongjoong pulled it free and walked back to stand between his boyfriend’s legs. He looked down and realized that with the height of the bed, he could easily stand up and fuck Seonghwa into the mattress. It sounded like a good plan to him. 

“Are you with me, baby?”

“Mos-mostly.” Hwa nodded, his eyes not fully focused but still on Hongjoong. 

The man giggled. “God you are so fucking amazing, I can’t believe the effect I’m having on you.”

“Why-why not? You’re you.” Seonghwa sputtered the word out, trailing off into a moan as Hongjoong easily slid two fingers of the idol. “Please…ahhh.” He whispered the word, eyes rolling as Hongjoong pressed against his prostate, making Hwa’s back arch off the bed. 

“Mmm, you want to try and cum for me a couple of times baby?” Hongjoong was relentless, not letting up as he continued to twitch his fingers against the smooth spot inside of Seonghwa. Over and over he pressed on it, flicked his fingers against it, whatever gave him the best reaction. Things were progressing quickly, and Joong felt bad for the fact that he hadn’t spent much time properly worshipping any other part of his boyfriend outside of his cock and his asshole. Well, there would be plenty of other times…

His question remained in the air as Hwa struggled, pressing himself down on the fingers that intruded on his space, eyes rolling back, breathing so heavy one would think he was performing on stage. Hongjoong went to ask his question again, but the sudden tightening around his fingers was answer enough. Seonghwa’s dick twitched, sputtering out his cum all over his stomach and chest. 

Hongjoong grinned, continuing to milk his boyfriend’s prostate, watching as every last drop poured from Hwa’s twitching cock. Only when it stopped did he pull his fingers free. He dropped to his knees again, lightly massaging the black haired man’s thighs, pressing small kisses to them. “God, I’m obsessed with you.” He whispered against the golden skin. 

Seonghwa whimpered and whispered Hongjoong’s name, but otherwise couldn’t muster up anything else. 

After a couple of minutes passed Joong stood back up and grabbed the lube once more. “Are you sure you still want me to fuck you?” He watched his boyfriend intently, fully expecting that Seonghwa would say no.

Instead, he received a head nod. “Please.” Seonghwa whispered.

“You’re so greedy, gorgeous.” Hongjoong giggled. “Can’t just accept the one orgasm, you gotta have another one?” He teased.

Seonghwa’s brows furrowed and he pouted, looking absolutely adorable in the process. “I’m not-I’m not greedy. You sai-said-you asked…” he seemed to struggle to form words, which only made him pout further. Hongjoong understood what he was trying to say though. 

“I’m kidding baby, I’m just teasing you.” He smiled, pushing Hwa’s legs up before he pulled the man to the edge of the bed, listening to the little squeak Seonghwa let out in the process. 

Joong pulled Seonghwa’s legs up to rest on his shoulders, kissing each calf before he got himself fully into position.

The salesman spread the lube over his cock, sighing contently at the glide and pleasure his own hand brought. His erection still hurt, and he wanted a release so badly, but he wasn’t complaining a single bit about how things had gone. While he hadn’t anticipated getting as turned on as he had, and certainly hadn’t anticipated worrying about his own pleasure, he was fine with the path things had hurdled down. 

“You will tell me if I’m hurting you, right?” He grasped one of Hwa’s thighs in one hand and his cock in the other, lining it up with Seonghwa’s hole, letting the tip touch the idol’s rim but not actually pressing inside. 

The feeling was enough for Seonghwa to shiver and jerk, gasping. “Y-Yes, ye-yes I will-will. Oh god Hongjoong pl-please.”

Joong ground his teeth together. “Okay baby, it’s gonna be a stretch and I’m gonna go slow. I really don’t want to hurt you.” Which was funny considering he had no problem pressing on that bruise earlier, knowing damn well it would inflict pain. 

Seonghwa nodded his head eagerly, spreading his legs a little wider, eyes finding Hongjoong’s. 

Joong pressed forward slowly, just as he had said he would, breaching Hwa’s walls. He watched as Seonghwa’s eyes dropped closed and his mouth popped open, his body tensing. “Seonghwa, I need you to relax baby.” Hongjoong instructed, rubbing his hand over Hwa’s thigh. “Come on beautiful, relax for me.”

Seonghwa did his best, and Hongjoong watched as his hands relaxed on the blanket instead of continuing to tense, which also meant his hole wasn’t clenching as tightly on Joong’s cock. As good as that had felt, Hongjoong knew that it would only hurt Seonghwa if he didn’t relax. 

Pressing further in, he felt Seonghwa stretching to accommodate his girth, and it made his breath come in quick bursts. He couldn’t get over how fucking good Seonghwa felt. It made him believe that the idol was pure perfection. There was not a single thing about Park Fucking Seonghwa that wasn’t perfect. Though perfection came at a price, and that price was the knowledge that Hongjoong wasn’t going to last long. He was already so close, and the further his cock slid into the wet heat of Seonghwa’s ass, the more he tiptoed to the edge of the cliff. 

The only sound in the room was their combined heavy breathing and the wet squelching as Hongjoong slid further inside. But it didn’t stay that way long, for Seonghwa seemed to relax more and more the further inside Joong went, and soon little gasps and moans were filling the space between them like birdsongs. 

Hongjoong slid all the way inside and stopped, holding onto Seonghwa’s legs as he remained standing. He forced himself to be still, just like the day before, letting Hwa get used to it all. He watched as his boyfriend reached out for him, fingertips grazing across Joong’s taut stomach. Seonghwa sighed contentedly, a happy look on his face. “I love you so much, Hongjoongie.” He whispered the words through his smile and closed eyes. 

Joong returned the smile and whispered back his own affirmation of love. 

“Don’t move yet please.” Seonghwa’s eyes fluttered open to look up at Hongjoong, his dark eyes filled with desire and love that nearly melted Hongjoong on the spot. “Just stay like this for a minute. I just-I just want to feel you.”

“Of course baby.” Joong nodded, refusing to move. 

They stayed that way for a minute or two, with the occasional moan leaving Hwa’s lips or his body shivering, but otherwise it was quiet. A reverent moment for the pair to enjoy paying homage to one another and the physical connection they shared as well as the emotional. 

Eventually Seonghwa nodded and Hongjoong moved. A slow drag out with a slow push forward that left them both wanting more, but the slower pace felt more sensual, and relayed their emotions to one another on a deeper level. It wasn’t the quick and crazy pace of the previous night, but it still felt so good. Hwa’s moans were quieter, one hand reaching to touch Hongjoong, and the other gripping the mattress. His mouth remained parted as his quieter symphony was produced. The slower pace worked well for them for a little bit, prolonging the time in which they were connected, and allowing Seonghwa to fully adjust to the width of Hongjoong’s cock. 

After those first few minutes though, both were panting and desiring more, so Hongjonog began to pick up speed. With the quicker pace, Seonghwa’s moans became louder, reaching for the crescendo. Joong’s faster movements also meant that he was hitting Hwa’s prostate with more force, making the singer teeter between the realm of it being enough and it being too much. Seonghwa’s words were a mixture of praise and pleading, and saying it was too much. His head continually arched back to the crown as his back arched his chest forward. Hongjoong’s name was like a prayer that he repeated with every other breath. 

“Fuck, I can’t. I can’t.” He was back to shaking his head, eyes scrunched closed. “Ahhh! Hongjoong!” Then he was arching back, hands in the air grasping for Hongjoong that was just out of his reach. “Oh my god!” Seonghwa yelled. Another few seconds of heavy panting before he was back on the other side. “It’s too much-too much, jebal… Joong!”

Hongjoong giggled a lot, mixed in between his own moans of pleasure. He loved watching Seonghwa’s face morph from pleasure to near overstimulation, to begging and nearly crying. Hwa continually clenched around Hongjoong, making it so much harder to stay from the edge. 

Seonghwa broke off in Korean again, spitting his words out so fast that Joong didn’t pick up no a single one, but from the look on his boyfriend’s face, he could tell that the singer was getting close to another orgasm. 

The salesman pulled out entirely, and Hwa whined loudly. “Scoot up on the bed.” Hongjoong commanded. 

Seonghwa pouted and mumbled something else in Korean before he moved up on the bed. Hongjoong waited until his boyfriend was still again before he joined him on the bed, slipping his cock back inside with ease, making both of them moan. He leaned down to kiss Seonghwa as the man’s back arched off the bed again. 

Hongjoong went back to the slower movements, giving them a break before he stopped moving entirely. He kissed a trail down Hwa’s jaw, listening to the little broken moans. 

“I don’t want this to end.” Hongjoong whispered, not wanting to move anytime soon.

“Me either.” Hwa agreed, turning his head to capture Hongjoong’s lips in a lazy kiss, his arms wrapped around the back of Joong’s head. 

“You’re so amazing, baby. I’m so lucky to call you mine.” He kissed the singer’s cheek, pulling his hips back slowly and then driving them forward with mad speed. Hwa’s chest rubbed against his own and Joong gripped his waist. 

“Joong, I-I can’t.” The idol repeated the words he had been saying since Hongjoong first started his quicker relentless pace. 

“How close are you?” Hongjoong dropped his head to rest on Hwa’s shoulder, inhaling the scent of sweat, sex, and just Seonghwa. 

“Cl-close… but I-I don’t want…” his body shook once more. “Don’t go.”

Hongjoong remained still, letting his mouth touch Hwa’s shoulder and neck, but otherwise not moving at all. He felt Seonghwa clench around him again and groaned deeply. “You’re going to make me cum if you do that again.” He warned. 

Seonghwa frowned. “I don’t-I don’t want this to end. Please.”

Joong chuckled. “I don’t either, baby, but we can’t stay this way forever.” He nuzzled his nose against Seonghwa’s neck, feeling his rapid pulse.

Hwa nodded. “I know.” He sounded rather distraught by the news. 

Hongjoong moved to look into Hwa’s eyes, questions inside of his own. “Baby I’m still going to be here after, okay? Do you want me to spend the night again?”  

Seonghwa nodded his head quickly, a small smile forming on his lips. 

“Okay sweetheart, then I will.” He wasn’t sure where the clinginess was coming from, but Hongjoong wasn’t going to complain either. If Seonghwa wanted to cling to him and wanted him to stay the night, then he would happily do it. More time spent with Park Fucking Seonghwa was a major win. 

Whatever was going on with Seonghwa though, Hongjoong intended on getting to the bottom of it before the night was over. He could swear he saw worry shining in Hwa’s eyes, and Joong didn’t like that. He never wanted Seonghwa to worry, especially about Hongjoong not being there. 

“Thank you.” Seonghwa whispered the words out, nodding his head to nothing. 

“Are you ready?” Joong questioned him, remaining as still as possible. He waited for Hwa’s response, and felt the other man wrap his arms and legs tighter around Hongjoong’s body. 

The salesman started moving again, the hand on Hwa’s waist, gripping it tightly as he panted with every thrust. A sheen of sweat prickled their skin as they slid against one another. Hongjoong kept his eyes on Seonghwa’s, neither one looking away, even as Joong picked up the speed again and received an encore of Hwa’s beautiful melody. Hongjoong felt his heart blooming with more love and adoration than ever before, being connected to Seonghwa was such a beautiful thing. The man’s moans and expressions were everything, and the way he refused to let his eyes close, refused to look away from Hongjoong, sent every thrill possible through Hongjoong. 

Towards the very end, Seonghwa had tears in his eyes, back to sending confusing signals about what he wanted. He begged for his release, cried harder when he was told he could cum whenever he wanted. 

“Do you want me to stop?” Hongjoong spoke on a heavy breath, eyes slipping closed from the intensity of the pleasure. 

“Yes!” Seonghwa barked the word out, but it only lingered in the air for a second before he quickly added, “No! I don’t know! Oh god, Joong, please!”

Hongjoong laughed and turned his head to whisper in Seonghwa’s ear. “I’m about to cum, fuck, you feel so good gorgeous, I want you to cum with me. Cum for me, good boy.”

That was all it took for Seonghwa to groan loudly, gripping his own cock as he came for the second time. Hongjoong let go of his own restraint the moment he felt Hwa clenching, their orgasms instantaneous. 

⧭

Hongjoong got the pair cleaned up before he crawled onto the bed and plopped down next to a very tired Seonghwa. Though the moment that the brown haired man was laying down, the idol scooted closer and glued himself to Hongjoong. With one arm wrapped over Joong’s chest and his legs intertwined with Hongjoong’s own. His head came to rest on the salesman’s shoulder, reminiscent of how they ended up after their bath the night before when they had first had sex.

Silence weaved between them, a little bit of tension in the air that confused Hongjoong. They had just had mind blowing sex, why was he feeling tension? He did his best to glance down at Hwa, but with where the man’s head was, he wasn’t able to make out anything but the tip of his nose and the crown of his head. Hongjoong ran his hand down the arm that rested over him, trying to calm whatever thoughts his boyfriend was having. The silence continued for another minute before Hongjoong opened his mouth. 

“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”

Seonghwa shook his head against Joong’s chest. “I…” he started and then stopped, a loud sigh pushing out of his mouth. 

“Baby?” Hongjoong tried again. 

Hwa sighed once more before he finally spoke a full sentence. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Joong’s brows came together in confusion. “What can you possibly be saying you’re sorry for?” He chuckled. “Are you sorry for giving me such a good orgasm?” He laughed again, finding the apology absurd. 

“Of course not.” Seonghwa scooted himself closer, his entire body pressed against Hongjoong’s, clinging to the retail worker as if his very life depended on the close proximity they shared. 

“Baby, what’s going on? Talk to me?” Hongjoong lost the humor he felt before, now feeling anxiety mixed with confusion in his stomach. Had he done something wrong?

“I’m sorry I’m being like this. I’m sorry I acted like this during sex.” Seonghwa’s words tripped out of his mouth, one falling over the other in quick succession, and he sounded absolutely pitiful. 

Hongjoong blinked at the ceiling, even more confused than he was before. “Being like… what?” He didn’t understand at all. 

“Clingy. Overly emotional.” Seonghwa sighed for the third time.

“Ummm…” Hongjoong didn’t think that there was anything wrong with his boyfriend being clingy, and he certainly didn’t believe he was being overly emotional. “Baby, you don’t need to apologize for being clingy. I like that you’re wanting to be close to me right now. I love holding you like this. And you’re not being overly emotional at all. I know what brought this on, and I am curious about what caused you to think I would leave after, but I don’t count that as being overly emotional.”

Seonghwa shifted, bringing his head up as he propped himself on his arm, looking down at Hongjoong. “You don’t?”

“No.” Hongjoong shook his head, moving his hand to cup the singer’s cheek. “Do you want to talk about it though?”

There was the pout again and Seonghwa dropped his head back down. “Yes, I want to explain it, but I’m… I’m feeling..” he huffed. “I don’t know the word, Hongjoong. I feel… silly? Stupid? In-add-equate?” 

Joong smiled. “Inadequate, and I’ll just say right now that you should never feel any of those things about yourself. You’re amazing and wonderful, and the only time you should feel silly is the good silly. You’re not stupid and you’re certainly not inadequate.” It worried Hongjoong to hear that his boyfriend felt such things, but other than being there for him and combating the emotions when they came up, there wasn’t much that Hongjoong could do. A lot of it would have to come from Seonghwa himself. 

“I’m glad you think so.” Hwa mumbled. “But I do feel it. I am embarrassed to talk about this.”

“We don’t have to talk about it unless you want to.” Hongjoong made sure to explain, not wanting Hwa feeling pressured. 

“I know.” He snuggled closer to Joong. “I owe you an explanation. Especially since I can’t say for certain that I won’t be like this again.”

“Okay sweetheart, just take your time, okay? There is no rush.” Even as he said that though, his stomach grumbled in protest. 

Seonghwa chuckled. “Your stomach says otherwise, babe.”

They both laughed together, successfully breaking the tension. 

“Okay. So, this is really the first serious relationship I’ve been in. Like, my last relationship before this was all the way back before trainee days. I was fourteen and trying to fit in by dating a girl.” Seonghwa started as soon as they stopped laughing. Hongjoong went quiet, listening. “Once I became a trainee, I didn’t think about relationships or dating. I had my career and my members and I didn’t have time for all of that other stuff. Of course as I grew older and once AURAGE debuted, I found time for the sexual side of things.” Hongjoong frowned, not wanting to imagine his boyfriend with anyone else, but he kept quiet. 

“I hooked up with two other idols the entire time I was in AURAGE. One was just an early career one night stand. We had sex, he left, that was the end of it. The other one was a little later, and we hooked up once, he left, and I thought that was the end. But then we were at K-CON a year later, and we ended up hooking up again at my hotel room. With it being something that happened twice, I stupidly thought it was going to be something more. I thought he’d at least stay, but no, he left too. And I… I felt so..” Hwa paused, and Joong could see the frown on his face. “I felt used. It just felt like I wasn’t good enough for anything more than quick sex in changing rooms. And I mean, I understood. The atmosphere back home isn’t welcoming of course, that’s one of the reasons I’m here now. But like, I just thought there would be more to it. Being left alone hurt. I felt lonely and scared, used, and trashy. I just wanted someone to hold me and tell me that it was all going to be okay, but there was never anyone there.”

Hongjoong’s heart broke as he listened to the whole story. He remembered Seonghwa telling him not to go while they were still having sex, and it flared the sadness up even more. “Honey, I would never do that to you.” He pulled Seonghwa closer, until the older man was laying on top of Hongjoong. “Look at me.” He cupped the idol’s face in his hands. “Baby, I love you, this isn’t just some quick thing. You know that. Did I leave last time? No. And I’m not going to leave ever. You know better than to believe I would.” 

Seonghwa nodded his head. “I do, Joong, I do know that. Just as I know this is irrational, but I can’t help what I feel.”

“No, you can’t.” Joong frowned and pressed forward to put his lips to Seonghwa’s. “It’s okay. I’m not judging you and I’m not telling you it is wrong to feel that way. Life hasn’t been kind to you in regards to your sexuality, but with enough time and better practices, I know we can beat those fears. Again, I would never just abandon you after having sex, Seonghwa. I love you so much, and this,” he gestured between them, “is as important to me as sex with you is. It’s part of the whole package. I want to hold you, I want to tell you I love you, and I want to make you feel cherished and safe. I fucking adore you, and you are so much more than just sex. Yes, sex with you is good, fucking god it’s amazing,” Hongjoong grinned, noting the small smile on Hwa’s face, “but I think I already showed you that sex isn’t the most important aspect of this relationship. I mean, I made us wait a little bit after all. Am I addicted to having sex with you?” He titled his head and raised his shoulders up. “Ehh maybe,” he laughed again, “but if you wanted to say no more sex for a year, then I’d still be here right by your side, loving you regardless of whether or not I get to stick my dick inside of you.” Hongjoong winced at his own words. “Sorry, that was crude.”

Seonghwa finally laughed, shaking his head. “It was, but it was hot too.” He laughed even as he pressed his lips to Hongjoong’s. “Thank you for understanding, thank you for being the most wonderful boyfriend I’ve ever had-”

“I’m the only boyfriend you’ve ever had.” Hongjoong corrected, earning him a playful glare and a swipe of Hwa’s hand against his arm. 

“Keep that attitude up and I won’t feed you dinner.” Seonghwa remarked with a teasing laugh. 

Chapter Text

Christmas Eve was upon them before they realized it, and Hongjoong was thankfully off work. He didn’t know how he had managed that, considering he usually worked every holiday, but he was thankful for it. Mostly due to the fact that he had made plans for Seonghwa. The two had grown even closer since AURAGE’s visit earlier in the month, and knowing what he now knew, Hongjoong was even more determined to be a good boyfriend. It was crazy to him to think that Hwa had never had a boyfriend, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. WIth his schedule, his status as an idol, and South Korea’s unfriendly views on LGBTQ+ people, Seonghwa was not given a lot of opportunities. Hongjoong felt insanely honored to be Park Fucking Seonghwa’s first boyfriend, and hoped to be his last. The idea of not being with him was something he didn’t like to think about. 

They had only been together for three months, but Hongjoong couldn’t imagine his life without Seonghwa as his boyfriend. If he ever fucked up enough for Hwa to leave him, then there was no way that Joong would ever forgive himself. No pressure of course! He knew they were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and everything was perfect and beautiful, but he just didn’t imagine that he would ever be the one to leave Seonghwa. Not even when things started to get harder, when communication inevitably began to break down and arguments started. He would have to be a complete fool to ever leave the man that he had been in love with for so long. 

Standing in front of his bathroom mirror, Hongjoong frowned and pushed a stray strand of hair back into place. “Can you not? Not today hair!” He grumbled as it popped right back up. “Oh my god!” He tried again to smooth it down, but it was horribly resistant to the product he had put in his hair. “I can’t stand you. Don’t make me cut you completely off my head.” He threatened the strand, sighing when he heard the doorbell sound. Another glare was given to his hair before he left the bathroom and headed to the door.

Swinging it open he was given the beautiful sight of a Christmas Angel standing on his doorstep. Seonghwa smiled shyly at Hongjoong, all bundled up in a heavy coat and scarf, his cheeks rosy from Saint Nick nipping at them. “Merry Christmas!” He threw his gloved hands out of his pockets before he moved to hug Hongjoong against him. 

“Merry Christmas, beautiful.” Hongjoong kissed his cheek, moving back to let Hwa fully inside before he closed the door. “You look adorable as fuck.” He chuckled, booping Seonghwa’s cold nose.

“Your hair is standing up.” Seonghwa chuckled as he tried to flatten it, laughing harder when it still didn’t behave. 

Hongjoong sighed. “I know. I’ve been struggling with it for ten minutes. Which is why I’m not ready. Can we just stay in? I mean, I don’t think it is safe for me to go out in public with my hair like this.” 

Seonghwa dropped his arms over Joong’s shoulders, around his neck. “Nonsense. You still look as gorgeous as ever, the hair just gives you more character.” He leaned in and down to rub his nose against Hongjoong’s before he planted a soft kiss on the tip. 

Joong ate up every moment he got with Seonghwa, especially the ones like this. “But we could order pizza.” He protested. 

Seonghwa laughed, the sound light and melodic, filling the small space of the entryway. “Pizza, on Christmas Eve? Joongie, I let you get away with a lot of things, but we’re not doing that. I already have our dinner reservation, and you’re not going to waste the effort I put into planning this night.”

Hongjoong pouted dramatically, his hands moving to Seonghwa’s waist. “But imagine it. Pizza, blankets, maybe a cheesy Christmas movie. Doesn’t that sound like the perfect night?”

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile tugging at his lips. “Tempting, but no. You promised me a proper Christmas Eve dinner, and I’m holding you to it.”

Hongjoong groaned but couldn’t hold back his smile. “Fine, you win. But if anyone comments on my hair, I’m blaming you.”

“I’ll take full responsibility,” Seonghwa said solemnly, though the glint in his eyes betrayed his amusement. He tugged on Hongjoong’s hand, pulling him toward the couch. “Now come sit with me for a minute. We have some time before we need to leave, and I brought you something.”

Curiosity sparked in Hongjoong’s eyes as he followed Seonghwa to the couch. “You brought me something? Hwa, it’s not Christmas morning yet.”

“Consider it an early gift,” Seonghwa said, pulling a small, neatly wrapped package from the pocket of his coat. He handed it to Hongjoong with a shy smile. “Open it.”

Hongjoong hesitated, the weight of the gesture making his chest feel tight in the best way. “You didn’t have to—”

“Just open it, Joongie,” Seonghwa interrupted, his voice soft but insistent.

With a careful hand, Hongjoong peeled back the wrapping paper to reveal a small box. Inside was a delicate silver bracelet with a single charm dangling from it: a tiny star, simple and elegant. He stared at it, his breath catching in his throat.

“I saw it a few weeks ago,” Seonghwa explained, his cheeks pink. “And I thought of you. You’re my guiding light, Joong. I wanted you to have something to remind you of that.”

Hongjoong didn’t trust himself to speak right away. Instead, he slipped the bracelet onto his wrist, the charm catching the light as it settled perfectly in place. “Babe…” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. “This is… I don’t even know what to say.” He thought of Seonghwa as his guiding light, and now he found out that his boyfriend held the same sentiment for him.

“Just say you like it,” Seonghwa said softly, his hand reaching out to cup Hongjoong’s cheek.

“I love it,” Hongjoong said immediately, his voice firm despite the emotion thickening it. “I love you.”

The words made Seonghwa’s smile widen, his own emotions shimmering in his dark eyes. “I love you too.”

They stayed like that for a moment, lost in each other, until Seonghwa broke the silence with a playful nudge. “Now, go finish getting ready. If we’re late, the restaurant might give our table to someone else, and I’m not explaining to the staff why we missed it because of your rebellious hair.”

Hongjoong laughed, standing and pulling Seonghwa to his feet with him. “You really know how to ruin a moment.”

“Part of my charm,” Seonghwa replied with a wink.

⧭

The restaurant stood like a hidden gem on the quiet, snow dusted street, its warm light spilling onto the icy pavement. Hongjoong held the door open for Seonghwa, grumbling half-heartedly under his breath. “Still think pizza and a cheesy Christmas movie would’ve been the better plan.”

Seonghwa turned to look at him, his scarf pulled up just below his nose, his dark eyes sparkling in the soft glow of the streetlights. “Yeosang recommended this place. If you want to complain, take it up with him.”

Hongjoong sighed dramatically but couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “Fine. But only because it’s you.”

The warmth of the restaurant enveloped them as they stepped inside, chasing away the chill from outside. The air smelled of roasted meat, spiced wine, and something sweet Hongjoong couldn’t place but already wanted to eat. Twinkling fairy lights draped along the walls, and garlands wrapped around the railing of a staircase leading to an upper level. A Christmas tree stood proudly in the corner, its ornaments glinting like tiny stars in the candlelight.

“This is… cozy,” Hongjoong admitted grudgingly, trying not to let on that he was already impressed.

Seonghwa smiled, unwinding his scarf. “See? I knew you’d like it.”

The hostess greeted them warmly and led them to a small corner table by the window. Hongjoong appreciated the semi-privacy, especially when he caught Seonghwa stealing glances at him as they sat down. He could feel his cheeks warming, though whether it was from Seonghwa’s attention or the restaurant’s ambiance, he wasn’t sure.

“Have you ever been here before?” Hongjoong asked, picking up the menu.

Seonghwa shook his head, his smile soft. “No. Yeosang told me about it when I mentioned wanting to do something special for Christmas Eve. I thought it’d be nice for us to try something new together.”

Hongjoong’s chest tightened at the thoughtfulness behind it. “You’re really amazing, you know that?”

Seonghwa ducked his head, the tips of his ears reddening. “Stop. You’ll make me shy.”

Hongjoong grinned. “You’re adorable when you’re shy.”

Their banter continued as they browsed the menu, each pointing out dishes that sounded interesting. Seonghwa vetoed Hongjoong’s joke suggestion of just ordering fries and leaving, and they eventually decided to share a few dishes, wanting to try as much as possible.

As they waited for their food, Hongjoong found himself relaxing into the moment. The low hum of conversations around them and the gentle flicker of candlelight made everything feel intimate, like the rest of the world had faded away. Seonghwa rested his chin in his hand, eyes watching Hongjoong with a serene expression.

“You’re staring again,” Hongjoong teased, though his voice was soft.

Seonghwa blinked, unbothered. “Can you blame me? You look beautiful tonight. Even with your rebel hair.”

Hongjoong felt his heart skip a beat, the sincerity in Seonghwa’s words catching him off guard. “You’re really good at this romance thing, huh?”

“I try,” Seonghwa replied, his smile mischievous now.

Their food arrived shortly after, and Hongjoong couldn’t help but marvel at the presentation. It was almost too pretty to eat-almost. As they dug in, their conversation flowed easily, with Seonghwa sharing stories about his Christmases with AURAGE and Hongjoong recalling the chaotic holiday traditions his family had adopted over the years.

At one point, Seonghwa reached across the table, his fingers brushing Hongjoong’s wrist. “I’m really glad we’re spending Christmas together,” he said, his voice quiet but filled with emotion.

Hongjoong felt warmth bloom in his chest, the simple gesture meaning more than words could convey. “Me too,” he replied, giving Seonghwa’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I can’t imagine spending it with anyone else.”

After their plates were cleared, the waiter surprised them with a complimentary dessert: a Yule log cake dusted with powdered sugar and adorned with tiny chocolate holly leaves. Seonghwa’s face lit up at the sight, and Hongjoong couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t tell me you’re more excited about the cake than you are about me,” he teased.

Seonghwa shot him a playful glare. “Don’t make me choose.”

They shared the dessert, stealing bites from each other’s forks and laughing like they hadn’t a care in the world. Outside, the snow fell in thick, lazy flakes, blanketing the streets in soft white.

As they bundled up to leave, Hongjoong took Seonghwa’s hand, their fingers lacing together naturally. “Yeosang did good with this place,” he admitted, his voice teasing. “I guess I’ll forgive him for stealing you away during dinner that one time.”

Seonghwa laughed, leaning into Hongjoong as they stepped out into the snowy evening. “I think he’d appreciate that.”

The night felt magical, the air crisp and filled with the quiet promise of more memories to come. Hongjoong tightened his hold on Seonghwa’s hand, silently vowing to cherish every single moment they had together.

⧭

After dinner the pair returned to Hongjoong’s home, feeling grateful and happy for their time together. As was the usual when going to Joong’s house, they settled in on the couch for a night of Christmas movies and cuddles. Though as was also the new usual, the cuddles turned into making out, which then forced the pair into Hongjoong’s bedroom where whispered praises and declarations of love interspersed the sounds of pleasure from between both pairs of lips. The body worship hardly ended there, as they took a shower together and thoroughly explored one another with their hands and mouths, but were too tired to go for a second round. By midnight they were asleep, with Hongjoong holding Seonghwa close, knowing that the next day he would be presenting his gift to his boyfriend.

He had worked tirelessly on his gift, perfecting it, ensuring that it was really what he wanted to give the idol. Of course the very thought of not giving Hwa the gift was insane after all the hours of work Joong put into it. Normally such tasks didn’t take that long, but since he made it for Seonghwa, it had to be nothing short of perfection. Though Hongjoong was his own worst critic, so even as he woke the next morning, butterflies in his stomach, he didn’t think it was ready to be given away. What if Seonghwa didn’t like it? What if it was still too unpolished? His nerves set a blaze in his stomach that he wished he could quench, but nothing dampened out the fire. 

He left Seonghwa in bed, looking peaceful and happy in his sleep, and headed for the kitchen to grab a glass of milk. Perhaps it would be enough to stop the dance of the flames. 

Hearing shuffling behind him he turned just as he raised the glass to his lips, finding Seonghwa standing in the doorway. His hair was sticking up at various points, his eyes were barely open and filled with sleep, and he had pulled the entire blanket off the bed to wrap himself in it and he wore the biggest pout ever. Hongjoong couldn’t hold back the smile that spread across his face even he had tried. 

“You left me.” Hwa’s bottom lip pushed out even more in his half awake state. 

Joong put the glass down on the counter before he approached the sleepy beauty. “Aww baby, I just needed a drink. I was going to come back.” 

Seonghwa mumbled something incomprehensible, but dropped his arms and opened the blanket when Joong tried to pull his crossed arms apart. 

The salesman stepped into the moving blanket fort, hugging his boyfriend close. “Merry Christmas, it’s finally the day.”

That seemed to wake Seonghwa up some more. “It’s morning? What time is it?”

“Like eight.” Too damned early to be awake, but Hongjoong’s nerves had made sure he wouldn’t get anymore sleep. 

“I need to fully wake up! Oh my god, Joong, I have a gift for you.” Seonghwa stepped away, taking the blanket with him. He rubbed his eyes fiercely, clearly trying to keep them open. “Can we exchange gifts now? I wanna go first!”

Hongjoong chuckled. “Yes baby, we can exchange gifts.” He was relieved that the idol wanted to give his gift first, as it meant more time that he didn’t have to deal with or think of his own. 

“Okay, go sit on the couch.” Hwa instructed.

Hongjoong did as he was told and moved into the living room as Seonghwa disappeared back into Joong’s bedroom. The brown haired man remained alone for a good ten minutes before the singer returned. He no longer had the blanket wrapped around him, instead fully dressed and fresh faced for the day. Which seemed unfair since Joong was still wearing his pajamas. In Seonghwa’s hands were two wrapped gifts. One small, and one medium sized. 

“Two gifts? No, three, because you gave me the bracelet last night. Babe! This is way too much.” Hongjoong protested, feeling like his own gift was incredibly inadequate. 

“Oh shush.” Hwa sat down next to him and handed the small gift over first. “This is our first Christmas together and I wanted to spoil you, so let me.”

Hongjoong sighed as he took the small gift, pulling the wrapping off to show a long black box similar to the one the bracelet had come in. Inside was a silver chain necklace that matched perfectly with the bracelet, but instead of a star charm, there was a musical note hanging from it. 

“We both love music, we both see each other as a guiding light, and these two pieces are representative of us both. I wanted you to always have a piece of us with you.” 

Joong smiled brightly as he leaned forward to capture Seonghwa’s lips with his own. “God, I love you.” He whispered the words against the man’s lips when he finally pulled back. “Thank you baby, I love both of these, and I will never take them off.”

Seonghwa smiled back and chuckled. “I hope you will because jewelry needs to be cleaned from time to time.” He laughed again and handed over a card. “I should have given you this first, but it was in between and I almost forgot about it. Whoops. It’s nothing special.” He appeared bashful as he looked down at the other gift in his lap, unable to make eye contact. 

Hongjoong stared at him with a raised brow, unsure of why Seonghwa was being so shy. He opened the envelope and pulled out a cute and festive Christmas card, wishing him a Merry Christmas. Opening it though, he found Seonghwa’s elegant script, writing out an entire note to him that covered both sides of the card. 

My Dearest Hongjoong ,

I’ve sat down to write this letter so many times, and each time, I find myself struggling to put my feelings into words. How do I capture everything you mean to me in something as simple as ink on paper? How do I convey the depth of my gratitude, my admiration, and my love for you? I hope I can do justice to what’s in my heart.

Meeting you again, finding you, really, was the best decision I’ve ever made. I left behind everything I knew, my career, my home, my family, all to follow a feeling. A connection that I couldn’t explain but knew was real. You were that connection, Joongie. From the moment we first met at that concert two years ago, you became a light in my life that I couldn’t ignore, no matter how far away you were.

You’ve given me so much more than I ever thought I could have. Not just love, but acceptance and understanding. You see me for who I truly am, flaws and all, and you’ve never made me feel anything less than cherished. I used to think that being loved meant being perfect, being flawless in every way. But you’ve shown me that love is about being honest, about being vulnerable, and about choosing each other every single day.

I’ve never been someone’s first choice before, Hongjoong. But with you, I feel like I’m not just your choice, I’m your everything. And I want you to know that you’re mine too. You’ve brought a kind of joy into my life that I didn’t think I’d ever experience, and for that, I’ll always be grateful.

This is our first Christmas together, and I hope it’s the first of many. I want to build a life with you, filled with memories like the ones we’ve already started creating. I want to grow with you, laugh with you, and face whatever comes our way together.

Thank you for being you, kind, patient, funny, and endlessly supportive. Thank you for letting me love you and for loving me in return.

Merry Christmas, Joongie. You’re the best gift I could ever ask for.

Forever yours,
Seonghwa

Hongjoong felt the sting of tears in his eyes and quickly looked up to the ceiling, trying to blink them away. This was his life. His reality. Park Fucking Seonghwa was his boyfriend, his love, his everything. They were sharing Christmas together. Seonghwa had written him a love letter. Was there anything else more perfect in the whole world? If there was, Hongjoong didn’t think he wanted to know about it. His heart felt so full and so happy. 

He felt Hwa’s hands on his jaw and looked back down, seeing the man smiling at him. “Please don’t cry.”

Joong chuckled and leaned forward to again kiss his boyfriend, the tears mingling despite his best attempts to keep them in. When he pulled away, Hwa wiped the wetness from his eyes and cheeks. “Thank you, Seonghwa. This-this means a lot to me. It means everything.” Joong reached up and took one of his boyfriend’s hands and squeezed it tightly. “I’ll take a note out of your book here and say that I didn’t need anything else but you, except it is too late for all of that.” He laughed. 

“Way too late.” Seonghwa smiled. “Here, this is the last one.” The idol offered up the larger box and sat back against the couch with his smile still in place. 

Hongjoong wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and unwrapped the final gift. Inside was a plain brown box, clearly with the real gift inside of it. Breaking the tape away he looked inside to find a thick black top with bubble wrap stuffed around it. Confused as to what he was staring at, he pulled the black piece out carefully, figuring it was fragile since the bubble wrap was stuffed around it. His fingers connected with glass and he was able to piece together that it was some sort of frame. 

Once he finally had it free of the box he saw that it was a shadowbox. Behind the glass was a little piece of heaven, filled with memories the two had shared.

A kayaking class token that they had obtained on their final day, a large red leaf took up the bottom right, though Hongjoong wasn’t sure of its place and glanced up at Hwa with a question in his eyes. 

“The leaf?” Hwa chuckled. “It’s from our first date, when we went to the canyon.”

Hongjoong choked. “You saved a leaf this whole time?! We weren’t even officially together back then.” 

“I know, but I had my hopes really high.” Seonghwa chuckled. 

Joong shook his head and looked back down at the shadowbox. He saw a picture of young AURAGE, back from the training days from the look of things, a polaroid with Seonghwa’s handwriting at the bottom with one of AURAGE’s lyrics. “Forever you’re my heart.” In the middle, and covering the majority of the box was a map of Montrose. The closer that Hongjoong looked, he realized there were little pins on select locations. One he knew was the canyon, the other his store, his home, Hwa’s home, kayaking class, and the Halloween carnival. His heart felt even more full as his lips pulled up into a bright smile. The final piece of the shadowbox was in the top right corner, a picture of a text conversation between the two that had been blown up and printed out.

Seonghwa:
What are you doing?

Joongie Jagi:
Missing you

Seonghwa:
Joongie, we saw each other yesterday.

Joongie Jagi:
What can I say? You’re addictive.

Seonghwa:
Flattery won’t get you out of trouble.

Joongie Jagi:
Trouble?

Seonghwa:
You still haven’t sent me the selfie you promised. 😡

Joongie Jagi:
Oh, so this is about blackmail . Got it.

Seonghwa:
Not blackmail. Motivation.

Joongie Jagi:
Motivation for what?

Seonghwa:
For me to look at your face when you’re not here.

Joongie Jagi:
…Fine. You win. Expect greatness in 3… 2… 1…
[img_939]
A hilariously blurry selfie of Hongjoong caught mid laugh, a coffee cup in hand.

Seonghwa:
😂😂 I’m framing this.

Joongie Jagi:
This is why I hesitate.

Hongjoong laughed so hard. “Oh my god, you weren’t kidding.” He pointed to the text as he shook his head.

Seonghwa looked where he was pointing and laughed along with him. “I was not! And I still demand a better selca please, um, selfie.”

“One day, sure.” Joong grinned. “Baby, I love this so much, thank you. You really outdid yourself.” Again he was reminded of what he considered a truly lackluster gift, but he kept his smile on not wanting to have his boyfriend think anything was wrong. “I’m going to put this somewhere in the living room so I can always see it.” His own box of memories. His box of Seonghwa. 

“I’m glad you like everything, Joongie. I wanted to make today special.”

“Being with you is special enough, baby, but I still really appreciate all of this. You’re amazing.” He leaned over his box to press a kiss to Hwa’s forehead before he moved back into his seat, placing the shadowbox on the coffee table in front of him. “Alright, I guess it’s time for your gift.” The fire started its dance again as he stood up and took Hwa’s hand in his own. 

“Don’t sound so excited.” Seonghwa teased as he was pulled into a standing position. 

“I just… I hope you like it.” Hongjoong frowned but quickly turned away so that the idol couldn’t see, dragging him over towards his home office/studio. “And don’t laugh when we go in here. I um, well, you know I was a huge fan… and I still am.” Hongjoong groaned, suddenly regretting not taking down his little Park Fucking Seonghwa shrine or all of the AURAGE memorabilia before hand. 

“My lips are closed.” Seonghwa nodded.

“Sealed. It’s my lips are sealed.” Hongjoong chuckled. 

He opened the door and pulled Seonghwa in, noting the way that his boyfriend looked around the room with large eyes and a fond smile. Hongjoong wished he could disappear though. 

“I really like this room, Joongie.” Hwa whispered as he stepped into Hongjoong’s space, nestling his chin onto the man’s shoulder. 

Hongjoong smiled, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist. “It’s embarrassing.” He was sure his face was as red as a Christmas carnation. 

“How?”

“Because you weren’t supposed to see the levels of obsession I had with you.”

“Had? They’re gone now?”

Hongjoong chuckled. “No, they’ve only gotten worse.” He pressed his lips to Hwa’s temple as he squeezed his waist. 

“Then there is nothing embarrassing about this.” Seonghwa’s voice sounded so serene and calm, as it usually did, and it helped Joong to calm his nerves some. 

Pulling away Hongjoong walked over to his computer, booting the production software up. He had moved a chair from the dining room into the space the day before and patted the seat for Seonghwa to sit down. 

“So, my gift isn’t something tangible,” he started with a frown. 

“Tangible?” Seonghwa raised an eyebrow, confusion written on his face like a beautiful poem. 

“It isn’t something you can touch.” Hongjoong gave an apologetic smile. 

“Oh!” Seonghwa nodded, his eyes going to the computer screen. “Hongjoong…” he paused as he stared, his eyes flashing over to Joong’s own. 

“Yes?” Hongjoong questioned, unsure of what was happening. He kept his eyes on the monitor, pulling the file up that he wanted to play. 

“Did you… you… this is music creating software isn’t it?” 

The brown haired man nodded. “Yeah, it’s a bit of a hobby of mine actually. I’m probably not that great, but it’s something I like to do when I can.”

“What? How did I not know this already?” Seonghwa laughed but looked very confused and shocked. 

“Well, it’s not something I ever talk about.” Joong rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “It’s kind of something I’m not very confident in, so I don’t share it with others. Actually, your um, your gift is… well, this is going to be the first time I’ve ever shared this with anyone. Not even Yeosang has heard anything I’ve made.”

Seonghwa continued to stare at him with his large eyes shining, one of his hands coming to rest on Joong’s arm, but he stayed silent 

Hongjoong offered him a small smile. “I wrote you a song.” He sputtered the words out, feeling that fire again. “I… yeah, it’s a song for you, and-and I put the beat together and made this whole song for you. Um, it-it’s called In Your Light . So I’ll just play it now.” Hongjoong thought he might combust. His gift seemed so crappy. Nothing Seonghwa could actually hold or touch. Just a crappy song that Joong spent a month agonizing over. Not only was it going to be the first time he shared any of his work with another person, but it was going to be the first time anyone heard him sing too and he was not confident in his vocals. He just hoped that Seonghwa liked it and didn’t laugh at the horribleness of it all. 

Unable to look at his idol, he clicked the play button. 

As the first notes began to play, a gentle melody of soft piano and strings filled the room, like the opening of a dream. Hongjoong couldn’t bring himself to look at Seonghwa. His fingers fidgeted nervously in his lap, his eyes glued to the floor as his voice joined the music.

“I used to watch you from afar, a star I could never hold…”

Seonghwa’s breath hitched, barely audible, but Hongjoong caught it. He dared a glance at him, and what he saw made his chest tighten. Seonghwa’s hands were clasped over his mouth, his wide eyes glistening with unshed tears as he listened intently.

With each line, Hongjoong poured every ounce of his heart into the song. His voice wasn’t perfect, a little raw, a little shaky, but it was filled with so much emotion that it made the imperfections beautiful. The beat picked up subtly in the pre chorus, the music swelling with warmth as his voice steadied.

“Now you’re here beside me, closer than a dream…”

The chorus was a wave of sound, rich and full, carrying the weight of Hongjoong’s feelings.

“In your light, I found my way,
You’re the warmth on a winter’s day…”

Seonghwa’s tears spilled over, his hand dropping to his lap as his lips parted in a soft gasp. He was completely enraptured, his gaze locked on Hongjoong even though the brown haired man still refused to look up. The words wrapped around Seonghwa like a warm embrace, and he could feel every moment, every emotion Hongjoong was trying to convey.

As the second verse began, Hongjoong grew more confident. His voice carried more strength, the melody blossoming like the love he was singing about.

“From quiet mornings, wrapped in your arms,
To endless talks under midnight stars…”

Seonghwa let out a quiet sob, his hand instinctively reaching for Hongjoong’s arm. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down Hongjoong’s spine, and for the first time since pressing play, he looked up.

Their eyes met, and Hongjoong’s heart stuttered at the raw emotion on Seonghwa’s face. His vulnerability, his love—it was all there, unguarded, for Hongjoong to see.

As the bridge swelled, the music pulled back slightly, leaving Hongjoong’s voice to take center stage.

“I spent so long watching you shine,
Never thought that your light could be mine…”

By the time the final chorus played, Seonghwa was openly crying, his fingers clutching Hongjoong’s arm like it was the only thing keeping him grounded. When the song ended with a soft, lingering piano note, the room was silent except for Seonghwa’s soft sobs and the echo of Hongjoong’s pounding heart.

Hongjoong swallowed hard, his throat dry. “It’s… um… I know it’s not much, and my singing isn’t great, but—”

Seonghwa cut him off with a sudden embrace, pulling him into a tight hug that left no room for air between them. “Stop,” Seonghwa whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Stop saying it’s not much. That was… it was perfect, Joongie. Absolutely perfect.”

Hongjoong hesitated before wrapping his arms around Seonghwa, his own eyes starting to sting. “You really liked it?”

“Liked it?” Seonghwa pulled back just enough to look at him, his hands cradling Hongjoong’s face. “I loved it. No one has ever done something like that for me before. No one has ever made me feel the way you make me feel.”

Hongjoong smiled, the weight of his anxiety lifting as he leaned into Seonghwa’s touch. “I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me. How much you’ve always meant to me.”

Seonghwa didn’t respond with words. Instead, he leaned in, pressing his lips to Hongjoong’s in a kiss that was soft and slow, carrying all the love he couldn’t put into words. When they pulled apart, Seonghwa rested his forehead against Hongjoong’s, his tears replaced with a glowing smile.

“Merry Christmas, Joongie,” he whispered.

“Merry Christmas, beautiful,” Hongjoong replied, his heart full and light, knowing he’d given Seonghwa the best gift he could.

BONUS: The full song to Seonghwa from Hongjoong <3

I used to watch you from afar, a star I could never hold,

With every song, every smile, you turned my heart to gold.

I followed your voice, found strength in your sound,

Never thought that one day, you'd be the love I’d found.

Now you’re here beside me, closer than a dream,

And every look, every touch feels like sunlight to me.

In your light, I found my way,

You’re the warmth on a winter’s day.

Every laugh, every breath, feels like home to me,

You’re the melody that sets me free.

In your light, I see myself, brighter than I knew,

And this Christmas, my only wish is you.

From quiet mornings, wrapped in your arms,

To endless talks under midnight stars.

You taught me love in the simplest way,

A gentle hand to guide me, through night to day.

You’re the calm in my chaos, the peace in my storm,

In your light, my heart is warm.

In your light, I found my way,

You’re the warmth on a winter’s day.

Every laugh, every breath, feels like home to me,

You’re the melody that sets me free.

In your light, I see myself, brighter than I knew,

And this Christmas, my only wish is you.

I spent so long watching you shine,

Never thought that your light could be mine.

Now I’m here, and you’re holding my hand,

Thankful each day for where we stand.

In your light, I found my way,

You’re the warmth on a winter’s day.

Every laugh, every breath, feels like home to me,

You’re the melody that sets me free.

In your light, I see myself, brighter than I knew,

And this Christmas, my only wish is you.

So here’s my song, a gift from me,

For the one who let me be free.

In your light, I’m more than I dreamed I could be,

And with you, my heart is finally at peace.

Chapter Text

Seonghwa woke with a feeling of unease settled deep in his stomach, and he knew why as he looked out the window. Not far below were the twinkling lights of Seoul, the city that he both loved and hated. It was strange to be back, even in the air, he wasn’t sure he was ready to land again. It had been a year and a half since he first came back to visit AURAGE, but now he was here for vastly different reasons. And once again he was without Hongjoong…

“Baby, I’ve got to stay and help Big C with the production, and my job refused the days off.” Hongjoong frowned as he stared at Seonghwa, a look of pure heart break on his face. 

The idol smiled though, and took his boyfriend’s hands. “I understand, Joong, you don’t need to feel bad about this. I wouldn’t want you to miss this opportunity anyway. It has been so amazing watching you work with C, you’ve learned so much and I appreciate all of the work you’re putting into this just to humor me.” Seonghwa chuckled, giving the man’s hands a squeeze. 

“Humor you? You think that is all this is? Come on babe, we both know that this is more than just you wanting to get in the studio again. Maybe you want to tell me more about this before you leave hmm?”

The singer went quiet, averting his gaze. Everything Hongjoong said was true. A few days after Christmas he had approached his boyfriend about writing some songs together, for fun of course. Even then he knew it was more than that. Seonghwa missed being on stage, he missed performing and seeing new locations, meeting fans, learning new dance moves, all of it. His life in Montrose was nothing to be sad about, and he had no regrets from backing out of the music scene to connect with Hongjoong. But he was meant to share his talent and dedication with the world, not languish away in Colorado. 

When Hongjoong shared the song he wrote, sang and produced with Seonghwa, a little light bulb had gone off in his head. Hongjoong’s talent was there, unpolished, but definitely there. With the proper guidance, he could go far. The little lightbulb grew brighter every day, until the whole room was filled with brilliant bright light that mapped out an entire plan. One that Seonghwa kept to himself and only told his boyfriend he wanted to record and produce the songs they wrote for fun. He claimed it was just something to pass the time, something to let him feel like he was still a performer. 

Looking back to Hongjoong he sighed. “I was going to tell you. I just… I don’t know how you’re going to take it and I’m scared.”

“Baby, there’s nothing to be scared of. I already know.” He chuckled, but the humor didn’t meet his eyes. “You want to get back out there, and I support it and you. You’re too big for Montrose anyway.” Seonghwa could see the pain in Hongjoong’s eyes and knew that the man didn’t have the full picture. 

“While I appreciate your support, this doesn’t mean I’m leaving you, Joong.” Hwa frowned. “If this goes how I want it to go, then you’re coming with me. I’m not doing anything without you by my side.”

Hongjoong smiled and shook his head. “I don’t think you get to decide that, sweetheart. What’s going to happen is this: a big label is going to pick you up very quickly, and that will be that. They’ll know talent when they see and hear it, not to mention your previous success, they’d be stupid to pass up the chance to represent you. I imagine they’ll want you in California or something like that, where you will record a hit album and go on tour, be incredibly busy and so happy that you took this leap. And I understand. I want to say that we’ll be okay through it all, because I love you and I can’t imagine you not being in my life, but only time will tell.” 

It was Seonghwa’s turn to shake his head. “No, you’re coming with me, Joong. Any label that wants me, has to hire you as well.” He spoke with conviction, crossing his arms and putting on a very serious face. 

“Why would they hire me? So I can sell them some phones?” Hongjoong snorted. “Babe, don’t throw away your dreams for me.” A hand was placed on Hwa’s knee, giving it a light squeeze. 

The singer wondered if he should throttle the other man. “You have talent, Hongjoong. Watching you with Big C, I can see it. It is there. You have passion too, and a dream of your own. One that aligns with my dream. If I can’t have you on my production team, then the record label doesn’t get me. It’s that simple, and I’m not going to listen to anymore arguing on it.”

Hongjoong went quiet, eyes large as the words sunk in. Slowly a smile spread across his lips. “I love you so much.” He leaned forward to press his lips to Hwa’s. 

“We’ll be landing in about thirty minutes. How are you feeling?” Seonghwa looked up as his manager approached, clearly having noticed the unease on his star’s face. 

“I’m alright. Weird being back here, but I’m really excited to see my fans.” He smiled and nodded his head, doing his best to not let himself be upset over Hongjoong’s loss. 

As if the man could read his mind, Jin-Young laughed, “We go back home after these two shows, and you’ll be reunited with your lover boy, okay?”

Seonghwa laughed in turn. “I know, it just sucks. He was supposed to be here for this.”

“Yeah, but plans change, you know that better than anyone else. How long have you been in the music business, Seonghwa?” 

“I know, I know.” He looked out the window again, the lights even closer than before. It was only 4 in the morning in Colorado, and Joong was probably still asleep. It would be several more hours before they were able to talk, but Seonghwa looked forward to that with every ounce of his being. He had been in Asia for a month already, and Seoul was the last two shows of the tour. A week in his home country and then back to what had become his home: Hongjoong. The producer was supposed to be with him for the week in South Korea, that had been the plan for months, but something had come up back home and Hongjoong had had to cancel his trip. Getting the man to South Korea was apparently impossible. 

Seonghwa had survived a month without him, so what was one more week?

⧭

Several hours later he was safely squared away in his hotel room, waiting for his facetime call from Hongjoong. It was still early in America, and he knew that Joong might miss his alarm and sleep a bit longer than he should, but the singer was waiting patiently. He was tired, but he refused to go to sleep before talking to his boyfriend. It was very reminiscent of the first time he had gone to Korea for his birthday, while Hongjoong had stayed behind. 

“Hi baby!” Hongjoong’s face appeared on Seonghwa’s phone, and his heart skipped several beats from seeing the man’s sunny smile. 

“Hi!” Hwa gushed, his own smile copying Hongjoong’s. It had been two days since they said goodbye at the airport, and Seonghwa had missed the brown haired man so much. “Joong, I miss you so much. Please tell me you’re taking care of yourself. Are you eating enough? Drinking water? What about sleep? It’s really late there right now isn’t it? What time is it?”

Hongjoong laughed. “No, it’s not late. It’s like three in the afternoon.” He laughed again. “Baby, take some deep breaths for me okay? I’m fine. I miss the hell out of you, but I’m doing okay. Big C and I’ve been working religiously on getting everything finished with your demo reel, and I’ve gotta say, it sounds fucking amazing. I think you’re going to be really pleased with it.”

Seonghwa smiled, feeling warmth spread through his body. “I know I will be, because you helped produce it, and wrote four of the songs completely on your own. My talented boyfriend!” 

“Hey, that’s my line.” Joong grinned. “How’s the rest of the gang?”

“As insane as usual.” Hwa smiled. “They’re also really sad you didn’t get to come with me, but they were excited to see me again. We’re supposed to meet up in a few hours. It’s so weird being back here, but seeing them makes everything okay.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. I was really looking forward to visiting, and I wanted to be there, to give you strength.” A flicker of a frown passed over Hongjoong’s face, leaving a dark shadow in its wake. 

Not wanting any of that, Hwa shifted on his bed, free hand undoing the fluffy white robe he wore so that when he moved, it fell open. He noticed the way that Joong’s eyes immediately fell to his exposed chest. 

“I still have three hours until I meet the kids Joong…” He spoke in a voice that left no arguments on the meaning behind those words. Just in case Joong didn’t understand though, he ran a hand teasingly down the middle of his chest. 

“Oh fuck.” Hongjoong whispered, the view shifting and becoming unsteady for a second as Joong moved from the couch to stand up. It looked like he was heading to his bedroom. “Tomorrow is your birthday, I think you deserve a gift today,” he chuckled. 

“Today is my birthday, Joong.” Hwa laughed.

“Um, no, today is the second.” Hongjoong looked down at his watch and then back to his phone. 

“Where you are, yes, but it is seven in the morning on the third where I am now. It’s my birthday.”

“Holy shit! Why didn’t you say that? Oh fuck, I’m not used to all these time change things anymore. Happy fucking birthday baby!” 

Seonghwa giggled, “Make it up to me by taking your clothes off, Joongie.”

A text from Hongjoong informed him that he still had an hour before Joong would be calling, so the idol took a shower. He did his very best to keep his mood up, but it was so weird being in Seoul. In three days he would be performing before a crowd of fans for his first solo show in Korea, with one last show being the day after. He had a couple of interviews lined up before and after, and then it would all be over. His tour had been highly successful, as successful as his first solo album. Something he didn’t think he would have achieved at all if it weren’t for Hongjoong. The man had pushed him the entire time, and was his biggest supporter in the studio. He still remembered the excitement that had flooded him when he received the call from a major label in America. 

After he had returned from Korea, Big C and Joong had finished producing his demo reel, and copies were sent out to various labels. Just as Hongjoong had said, an offer was given only a month later. Seonghwa’s success in the music industry made it easy for him to be picked up. The offer was a great one, but he had his own contingencies, one of them being that Hongjoong be allowed to join his production team. The label initially refused the request, but once they realized they weren’t going to snag Seonghwa without it, they changed their tune. However, Hongjoong was not brought on and shoved right into producing on his own. He was hired on as an intern, to better learn and flesh out the raw talent he already had, and worked exclusively for Hwa's personal production team. 

While Hongjoong’s name didn’t appear on the album, he was part of it, and learned a lot. The lead producer was very impressed with him, and felt for sure that with some more polish, Hongjoong would be running his own team in no time. 

⧭

Freshly showered and in another fluffy white robe, Seonghwa sat on the comfortable hotel bed, waiting on Hongjoong. He had his tablet propped up in front of him on a stand so he wouldn’t have to hold anything. He missed the man so much already, but knowing how close he was to getting back to his producer boyfriend, made him happy. As did the tour, truthfully. It was so good to be back on stage, performing in front of others, having a grueling schedule and intense workouts and choreo. Seonghwa had missed it. Being a solo artist, now an American solo artist, was vastly different from being a kpop idol. The demands weren’t as high, he had far more freedom than he was used to, and didn’t have to live in a dorm or even in California. Though he bought a home in LA regardless, just because it had made things easier when he was out there for months on end during production.

Once his tour was over, he would be returning to simple Montrose, Colorado, a place he had come to love and cherish because it brought him Hongjoong. 

“They want me in California, in LA, in two weeks.” Seonghwa frowned as he looked up to Hongjoong. 

“Why are you frowning? That’s great news! Sounds like they’re ready to get to work on your first album, that’s huge baby!” Hongjoong was always so cheerful and supportive, and Hwa didn’t know if he simply wasn’t seeing the whole picture, or if Joong was purposefully focusing on the positive. 

“But…” Seonghwa frowned even more. “What about us? What about you?”

Hongjoong faltered, his own frown slipping onto his face before he replaced it with a forced smile, kneeling down in front of the chair Seonghwa sat in. His hand found the other’s knee and held onto it. “I’m supposed to be an intern, so I’m sure they’ll call for me to be out there soon enough. You know that I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth if you’ll let me.”

Hwa smiled, his hand cupping Joong’s cheek. “I don’t want this to change what we have.”

“It’s not going to,” Hongjoong spoke with conviction, bringing his own hand up to place over Seonghwa’s. “I won’t let it. You’re mine, Park Fucking Seonghwa, and nothing is going to change that.”

Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh at the man’s words, “Nothing better ever change it. I want to be yours forever.” 

Hongjoong leaned forward just as Seonghwa leaned down, lips crashing in the middle. 

“Hi, gorgeous!” Hongjoong greeted Seonghwa the way he usually did, all smiles and pet names. 

Seonghwa wished he could reach out and touch the other, but he knew he would only touch the screen of his tablet. He tried to keep the frown away, but he missed Joong so terribly.

“Hi, Joongie.” He smiled, but it didn’t meet his eyes. 

“Hey, baby, come on, we’re going to see each other in a week. It’s going to be okay.” Joong’s radiant smile filled the screen, but there was a lingering sadness in his eyes. 

“I know, I just miss you so much.” Seonghwa shook his head. “But like you said, just a week to go.” 

“Are you excited for your last two shows?” Hongjoong tried to change the subject. 

“I am!” Seonghwa smiled brightly. “It still feels weird, being back here, and now as a solo artist, but I feel I’ve come full circle.” 

“You really have, baby, I’m so happy and excited for you. You deserve every ounce of this. You’re going to go out there and show Korea just what Prism missed out on when they forced you to leave AURAGE. Speaking of… are the kids going to be there?”

“Of course they are,” that bright smile returned even more radiant than before. “I’m excited to see them again. My manager said that Prism has been sniffing around and he thinks they’re going to try and offer a collab, which I will gracefully turn down.”

“That’s my good boy.” Hongjoong’s wicked smile spoke of more than just being proud of how far Seonghwa had come.

The nickname made Seonghwa’s skin flush with heat. “Always.” His mind shifted off of his anxiety and stress of not having Hongjoong there, and into something that made him want to be that good boy forever.

Hongjoong knew exactly what he was doing too, dark eyes filled with hunger. “Are you being a good boy while you’re so far away from me?”

Seonghwa’s breath stuttered, the term having a primal effect on him as his eyes slipped closed. “Y-yes.”

“Are you going to be a good boy when I see you again?” Hongjoong’s voice dropped to a lower and huskier octave. 

The singer embarrassingly whimpered at the man’s question, nodding his head, flashes of the past and the unspoken future in his head. 

“Good. Undo the robe, I want to touch you.”

⧭

“Open it.” Hongjoong sat next to Seonghwa on the sectional in the singer’s den, a nervous smile on his face. 

Seonghwa was set to leave for California the next day, and both were filled with nervous energy. Joong had put in his two week notice at the cell phone store, much to his work friends' chagrin, and would be following three weeks after Hwa landed in LA. It was going to be their longest time apart to date, and neither was happy about it. But both were excited for the future and what was barreling towards them. Most of the future was uncertain, but Seonghwa’s future success was a given. They both knew it would change things, and both were resolute in not allowing it to change their relationship unless it was for the betterment of them both. 

Hwa looked down at the small box in his hands, heart beating like crazy. It looked like a ring box, but Hongjoong wasn’t on one knee, so he assumed he wasn’t getting a proposal. Still, inside of the box could be anything and while he was sure he would love whatever it was, he couldn’t help the nervous response. 

Pulling the box open, his heart’s insane beats suddenly stopped dead. 

Inside of the box were two rings, clearly one for him and one for Hongjoong. The front ring, meant for Seonghwa by the size of it (which was slightly larger than the one behind it) was a silver band with black letter etched into it saying “I love you” while the ring behind it, also silver, had the words “I know” etched into them. On the inside of each band was the Rebel Alliance symbol. 

“Oh my god, Joong…” tears sprang into his eyes so easily as he lifted the two rings out of the box. 

Hongjoong smiled at him as he reached over and took the “I know” ring and slipped it on his own finger. “No matter how far apart we are, or what happens in the coming months, I want you to always know that I’m here and that I’m not going anywhere.”

Seonghwa slipped his own ring on, throwing his arm around Hongjoong. “I love you.”

“I know.”

One interview down, Seonghwa walked the streets of Seoul, taking in all of the familiar sights and sounds. It was strange how Korea no longer felt like home to him. He had held onto it for so long, even when it became hostile, and refused to believe that it wasn’t his home. Now though, it was just another country, another city, somewhere he had both fond and terrible memories. Korea would always have a special place in his heart, and he still hoped to one day return and live out the rest of his days in the same place that he had been born. But a lot of changes needed to happen before he’d feel comfortable doing such. Besides, his home had become Hongjoong. He didn’t need a place anymore, not when he had a person that offered the same comfort and never judged him for being who he was. 

“My star!” Wooyoung’s screech was heard loud and clear as Seonghwa turned the corner and spotted the familiar faces of AURAGE. A few heads turned towards the loud noise, but just as quickly ignored the yelling figure that ran towards Seonghwa with a giant smile on his face. 

Hwa mirrored the smile, warmth and happiness building the closer he got to his brothers. 

Wooyoung collided with him, causing an audible “oof” to sound from Seonghwa as he was wrapped in a tight hug. “My star! My star! My star! Ahhhhh!” Wooyoung’s excitement had him bouncing up and down, trying to get Seonghwa to jump with him. The other three joined, laughing at Woo’s excitement. 

The group were together again, over a year since they last saw one another, and the cheerfulness was high. They roamed Seoul for half the day, visiting their old haunts, laughing and joking through it all. It almost felt like old times, except for the occasional side eye or disgusted looks Seonghwa got when he was recognized by the general populace. The later it got, the crazier Wooyoung got, fanned on by Mingi’s own level of crazy. 

Eventually Seonghwa called Hongjoong on a Facetime call because the others wouldn’t stop nagging him about needing to talk to “their” Hongjoong. 

“There’s the handsome fella!” Wooyoung stole Seonghwa’s phone, waving at a bewildered Hongjoong as he walked away. 

“Hey!” Seonghwa argued. He moved to go after the menace, but Yunho and Mingi stepped in front of him, shielding Hwa from view. “Guys, I need my phone back.” He argued, trying to step past the Twin Towers. “Wooyoung! What are you saying?” He tried over and over again, but the two giants were very good at keeping Hwa from getting very far. At one point he managed to escape them, only to have San grab him, manhandling the poor singer like he always used to. 

By the time that Seonghwa had his phone back, Hongjoong was smiling and laughing at whatever conversation he’d had with Wooyoung. Hwa didn’t trust it. He narrowed his eyes on his boyfriend. “What were you two talking about?”

“Hmm? Oh, Wooyoung was just telling me how proud he is of you, and how much he has listened to your album on repeat.”  Seonghwa didn’t buy it. 

“I know when you’re lying, Hongjoong.”

“Damn, they’ve been together so long Hwa already knows him like the back of his hand.” Mingi laughed and clapped his own hand onto Seonghwa’s back. 

Hongjoong glared at Mingi before his eyes were back on Seonghwa. “I’m not lying.”

Wooyoung shook his head as Seonghwa looked in his direction, “He’s not. I am listening to it on repeat. It’s a masterpiece! I like to play it to piss off the executives sometimes.” He laughed with his words, and had Hwa shaking his head. 

“You two aren’t off the hook.” Seonghwa pointed a finger at both men, but the conversation moved on. 

Hongjoong joked with Mingi, asking if he wanted another video call with Diamond. That had undoubtedly been the highlight of that girl’s life. Mingi played along and said he wouldn’t mind, but of course Diamond wasn’t with Hongjoong, so no unscheduled fan calls happened that night. 

⧭

This was it. Seonghwa’s album was being released in just under five hours and his nerves were frayed. The album had been hyped up by his whole team, and the first single that was released had already skyrocketed on the world’s music charts. Unsurprisingly it had done very well in America. Seonghwa wasn’t used to releasing a single before the album dropped, and had been just as nervous when it went live. Another change was the whole album being in English, with only a few lyrics in Korean. It was all so different from what he was used to, and it left him in unfamiliar territory. Hongjoong though, stuck by him through it all. Like a flame that offered light and warmth, never straying too far, and never going out. 

Seonghwa paced the living room of their Los Angeles house, his bare feet padding softly against the polished hardwood floors. The city lights glittered through the expansive windows, casting a glow that he barely noticed. His thoughts were too loud, his nerves a tangled mess of excitement and fear.

His first solo album. His name. His voice. His story.

It felt too big, too exposed. Every time he tried to sit down, the weight of it all pushed him back to his feet. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing as he stopped in front of the window, staring out at the sprawling city below.

Behind him, he heard the familiar creak of the leather couch and the soft sound of footsteps. He didn’t need to turn around to know it was Hongjoong. He felt the shift in the air, the quiet comfort that only Joong could bring.

“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor,” Hongjoong teased gently, his voice warm and calm.

Seonghwa smiled despite himself, though he kept his eyes on the view. “I’m just... I don’t know. Nervous, I guess.”

Hongjoong came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Seonghwa’s waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. The touch was grounding, a tether pulling Seonghwa back to the moment.

“You don’t have to guess, baby. I can see it,” Hongjoong murmured. “But you’ve got nothing to be nervous about. You’ve worked so hard for this, and it’s going to be amazing. It already is.”

Seonghwa leaned back into Hongjoong’s embrace, letting out a shaky breath. “It’s just... so much. Everything feels different. What if it doesn’t live up to expectations? What if people don’t like it?”

“What if they love it?” Hongjoong countered softly. “What if it changes someone’s life the way your music always does? You’ve already seen how much people loved the single, and that’s just the beginning.”

Seonghwa closed his eyes, letting Hongjoong’s words sink in. “You always know what to say.”

“That’s my job,” Hongjoong said with a grin, pressing a kiss to Seonghwa’s temple. “But seriously, Hwa, you’ve put your heart into this. Anyone who hears it will feel that. I felt it, and I couldn’t be prouder of you.”

Turning in Hongjoong’s arms, Seonghwa looked into his boyfriend’s eyes, the depth of his emotions reflected back at him. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “For everything. For being here.”

Hongjoong cupped Seonghwa’s face, his thumbs brushing lightly over his cheeks. “Always. You’re my everything, my beautiful boy. And I’ll be right here when the clock hits midnight, celebrating every bit of your success with you.”

Seonghwa felt the tension in his chest ease, replaced by a warmth that spread through him like sunlight. He leaned in, resting his forehead against Hongjoong’s. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t start that,” Hongjoong whispered, his voice playful but firm. “You deserve the world, and if I have to spend my life reminding you of that, I’ll do it.”

Seonghwa laughed softly, the sound breaking through the haze of his anxiety. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Luckily, you’ll never have to find out,” Hongjoong replied, stealing a quick kiss before pulling Seonghwa back toward the couch. “Now, come sit with me. We’ve got five hours to go, and I’m not letting you spend them pacing like a caged tiger.”

As they settled onto the couch, Seonghwa tucked against Hongjoong’s side, his head resting on his shoulder. For the first time all evening, he felt himself relax. Whatever happened, he knew he wouldn’t face it alone. Hongjoong was his light, and with him, Seonghwa could face anything.

The muffled roar of the crowd seeped through the walls, a constant hum that vibrated in Seonghwa’s chest. He stood backstage, his breath shallow and uneven, fingers nervously adjusting the cuffs of his tailored jacket. The air smelled of fresh paint, metal, and the faint tang of adrenaline—an unmistakable cocktail that always accompanied live performances.

But this wasn’t just any performance. This was Seoul.

The city that once worshiped him as part of AURAGE and then turned its back on him the moment he dared to live authentically. Now, he was here alone, standing on the brink of something that felt monumental and fragile all at once. His name, his voice, his story, on full display for the city that once shunned him.

The stage manager’s voice crackled through the headset clipped to his ear. “Seonghwa, five minutes.”

Five minutes. His stomach tightened, his palms damp against the cool fabric of his outfit. He couldn’t tell if it was excitement or fear, or maybe a nauseating mix of both. He hadn’t stepped foot in Seoul as an artist in so many years, and he had never stood here as a soloist. It felt surreal, overwhelming, and strangely hollow without Hongjoong by his side.

He pulled out his phone for what must have been the hundredth time that day, unlocking it to see the same message Hongjoong had sent that morning.

Joongie Jagi:
You’ve got this, beautiful. I’m so proud of you. I’ll be watching the livestream. Always with you. 🖤

Seonghwa’s chest ached as he stared at the words. He’d tried to tell himself it was fine, that he understood why Hongjoong couldn’t make the trip, but it didn’t make the absence hurt any less. Hongjoong had been his anchor through everything, his quiet supporter, his loudest cheerleader. Without him here, Seonghwa felt unmoored, a ship drifting in unfamiliar waters.

“Seonghwa, three minutes,” came the next call, snapping him out of his thoughts.

He shoved the phone back into his pocket, his hands trembling slightly. He tried to focus on his breathing, tried to quiet the storm of thoughts swirling in his head. What if they hated him? What if he wasn’t enough? What if coming back here was a mistake?

The sound of footsteps pulled him from his spiral, and his manager appeared, offering a reassuring smile. “You’re going to be amazing out there. They’re ready for you.”

Seonghwa nodded, though his throat felt tight. He took a step closer to the side of the stage, the roar of the crowd growing louder with every beat of his heart. He caught a glimpse of the arena through the curtains—a sea of lights, thousands of fans waiting for him.

This is why you’re here, he reminded himself. To prove to them, and to yourself, that you belong.

“Seonghwa, one minute!”

He closed his eyes, letting the sound of the crowd wash over him. In his mind, he pictured Hongjoong, imagined him smiling, whispering words of encouragement like he always did.

“I’m with you,” Seonghwa murmured under his breath, holding onto the thought like a lifeline.

And then the countdown began.

⧭

The concert was a major success. Seonghwa climbed into the back of the Landrover, adrenaline still pumping through his veins. The crowd had loved him, and he loved his fans. Seeing so many people there cheering for him, showing him love and support, meant so much. Too much. He had teared up on one of the slower songs, and when the song was over he shared his overwhelming emotions with his fans. Thanking them for accepting him and never turning their back on him through all of the years where he struggled to get his foot back in the door. It was completely unprompted and unexpected, but being in Seoul again had been a rollercoaster for the man. He lamented greatly the loss of Hongjoong, but the concert had been a wonderful distraction to his boyfriend’s absence. 

Not having had a chance to look at his phone after the show, he pulled it free now, frowning when he didn’t see any new messages from Hongjoong. The show had been on a livestream, and Hongjoong had said he’d be watching. Why hadn’t he said anything? Seonghwa tried to ignore the icy pool that bloomed in his stomach, not wanting to sour the great mood he was in. Maybe Hongjoong was simply giving him time to get back to his hotel. They had fallen into the routine of phone sex, or video sex, after each of Hwa’s shows in Asia. Mostly because Seonghwa insisted. The adrenaline and high he received from the concerts always left him with such desires, and Hongjoong was the one to scratch that itch. Deciding not to take any chances, he sent a quick text to Joong. 

Seonghwa:
I’m on my way back to the hotel. Should be there in 20 mins. I need a video call this time 😏

Calming his racing heart, he sat back and relaxed as much as he could for the remainder of the drive. 

Though his calm began to dissipate when he didn’t receive any messages back from Hongjoong. He checked his phone again as he rode the elevator up to his suite, frowning again. Where was Hongjoong? Why wasn’t he responding? Had Hwa done something wrong? Had Joong decided to… leave? That fear had never really left Hwa, even though the two had been together for nearing two years. There had been plenty of times when he clung to Hongjoong during and after sex, begging him not to leave. Hongjoong was always patient with him, always loving and warm. But maybe it had finally become too much. Maybe the month apart had become too much. 

Seonghwa shook the bad thoughts away, reminding himself that Joong wouldn’t do any of that, and he certainly wouldn’t have texted before the show just to ghost his longterm boyfriend after the show. That didn’t make sense. Maybe his phone had died, or he got too wrapped up in the studio. That had happened a few times. 

Deciding that was the most probable cause of Joong’s silence, he opened his hotel room and stepped inside, faltering at the door as his feet connected with rose petals that were strewn across the floor. “Wha-” Seonghwa followed the petals with his eyes, noting that they created a trail from the door to the attached bedroom. Seonghwa followed the path, careful not to step on any of the petals. He was very confused and a bit worried, though in his gut he had a feeling it had something to do with Hongjoong. 

Walking into the small hallway that separated the master bath and bedroom, he expected to turn the corner into the bedroom and find the petals leading to his tablet, where he would inevitably see Hongjoong’s smiling face. The very thought had him excited, and smiling too. The thoughtfulness and romance behind the gesture was so sweet and almost made him melt. 

Turning the corner he did indeed see Hongjoong’s smiling face, but he still stopped in the door, an audible gasp falling from his lips as tears sprang into his eyes like a fresh spring. Hongjoong stood before him, in the flesh, his smile only growing larger at the reaction he received from his boyfriend. 

Seonghwa’s brain couldn’t make sense of Hongjoong being there, and it took several seconds before he finally managed to move, crossing the room and stepping on the myriad of rose petals without care. “Joong…” he whispered the man’s name out, throwing his arms around the shorter man as the tears fell. 

Seonghwa held Hongjoong tightly, as if letting go would make him vanish like a dream. His tears dampened Hongjoong’s shoulder, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “You’re really here,” he whispered again, his voice trembling with disbelief and relief.

Hongjoong chuckled softly, his arms wrapping securely around Seonghwa’s waist. “Of course, I’m here. I couldn’t let you do your first solo show in Seoul without me, could I?”

Seonghwa pulled back just enough to look into Hongjoong’s warm, shining eyes. His own were swimming with tears, and his cheeks flushed pink from the overwhelming surge of emotions. “You didn’t tell me,” he said, a slight accusatory tone in his voice, though it was softened by his quivering lips. “I thought… I thought you couldn’t come.”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Hongjoong admitted, brushing a stray tear from Seonghwa’s cheek. “Wooyoung helped me plan everything. He told me about your favorite flowers, where to get the rose petals, and even helped book my flight. I wanted this to be perfect for you.”

Seonghwa’s chest tightened, and he couldn’t stop the fresh wave of tears from spilling over. “Perfect doesn’t even begin to describe it,” he said, his voice breaking as he cupped Hongjoong’s face with both hands. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Hongjoong grinned, his thumbs brushing gently over the tops of Seonghwa’s hands. “That’s funny, because I was about to say the same thing about you.”

Seonghwa’s laugh broke through his tears, and he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Hongjoong’s lips. It was tender and full of unspoken gratitude, a moment that encapsulated everything he couldn’t put into words. Though it was only moments later that the kiss upped to something more fierce, as the shock faded and the remaining adrenaline hit Seonghwa. “I don’t need you on video anymore.” He spoke between kisses before he pulled back entirely and pushed Hongjoong onto the bed.

“Wait-” Whatever else Joong was going to say was lost in Hwa’s mouth as the singer pounced on his boyfriend and stuck their lips to one another again. 

“After.” Seonghwa shifted his hips to grind down against Hongjoong, already beginning to pant. “I’ve needed this for way too long, Joong.”

Hongjoong returned the kiss but only for a second before he pulled away from Hwa’s lips and tried again. “I need-”

“Me.” Seonghwa finished his sentence for him with a chuckle, moving his mouth to suck on Joong’s neck. “God I’ve missed you.” The tears were still in his eyes, now for other reasons. “I need you so bad.” Another shift had him moaning as his dick began to get hard from their actions, and he could feel the same hardness in Hongjoong. 

The singer was so ramped up on emotions and adrenaline, he didn’t want to let the moment pass them by. His long tongue made a clear path down Joong’s throat, biting at his Adam’s apple, feeling it vibrate under his teeth as Hongjoong groaned at the sensation. Usually Seonghwa let his boyfriend take the lead, be in control, but tonight he didn’t think that the brown haired man was moving quickly enough. It was reminiscent of the beginning of their relationship when he had to coax Hongjoong into touching him. Hwa hadn’t had to do that again since the first time they had sex, as that time found Hongjoong’s confidence and it never went away after that day. 

“Baby…” Hongjoong started to say something else, but his words were stolen once more as Seonghwa lifted the man’s shirt up, nipping at Joong’s nipples. “Fuck, Hwa.” 

That was more like it. 

Seonghwa continued on his path, determined to have what he wanted as his lips pressed against Joong’s strong chest and down his flat stomach. His hands busily unbuttoned and unzipped his boyfriend’s pants, nimble fingers sliding into Hongjoong’s underwear to grasp his cock and pull it free. It was already half hard, and responded with a twitch as Seonghwa touched it. 

The black haired man slid further down Joong’s body, slow and sensual, eyes locked on Hongjoong’s for just a moment before they sought his prize once more. He moaned at the sight of Hongjoong’s cock, still not fully erect, but exactly how he wanted it. If there was one thing that Seonghwa had come to love above all else on Hongjoong’s body, it was his cock. The very instrument of his unraveling. The things that Joong could do with his dick were otherworldly and never failed to send Seonghwa into another realm of existence.

A realm he desperately wanted to visit again. 

As with the rest of his actions since finding Hongjoong in his hotel room, Hwa wasted no time in taking the half hard dick into his mouth. He heard Joong’s breath hitch, a hand coming to land in his hair, fingers threading through the locks. Seonghwa swirled his tongue over the tip, knowing how sensitive Hongjoong was and slowly began inching his mouth down over his boyfriend’s cock. He loved feeling it get harder the more he worked his mouth, that was one of the hottest things to him. Knowing his mouth was responsible for the reaction. 

“Fuck…” Joong’s hand tightened in Hwa’s hair. 

Seonghwa smiled as much as he could, pulling back to blow his breath over the tip of Joong’s cock, grinning as it twitched and Hongjoong moaned. Hwa looked up at Joong, but the man’s head was pressed back, panting into the ether. “How many times can I make you cum?” Seonghwa grinned, hand taking up where his mouth left off. 

Joong glanced down, eyes lidded, “Not as many times as I can make you cum, and I’m jet lagged… fuck babe I need-” 

Seonghwa took those words and ran with them. Clearly Hongjoong needed to cum, and that was what he was going to say, so Hwa engulfed him once more. He set a quick pace, hallowing his cheeks. He wanted Hongjoong to have two good orgasms, it would be a nice treat for both of them.

The singer didn’t always have multiple orgasms with Hongjoong, but eight out of ten times he did. It was wild for both of them, something they’d come to expect anymore, but it was still crazy. Before Hongjoong, Hwa hadn’t realized that was something he could do. He had never been in love before Hongjoong, or been as attracted to someone else either. Their life together was everything for Seonghwa. Through all of the ups and downs (in which he was giving plenty of that right now), they never once stopped loving each other. 

Seonghwa knew he wanted to live the rest of his life with Kim Mother Fucking Hongjoong. 

His focus and attention were purely on Hongjoong in the moment, feeling the weight of the man’s cock in his mouth. His tongue slid along the protruding vein he had grown obsessed with on his boyfriend’s dick, delighting in the way that Hongjoong shivered and moaned. The hand in his hair continued to flex. Seonghwa’s jaw had already started to hurt, but he ignored it, appreciating the ache, seeing it as a means of sacrifice for his boyfriend’s pleasure. 

He let his mouth go slack, the signal he always gave Hongjoong that let the man know it was okay to fuck his mouth. He once again heard Hongjoong’s breath hitch. Then both hands were on his head, pushing and pulling Hwa to slide up and down on his cock. Seonghwa loved it. Being used for his boyfriend’s pleasure, he moaned at the feeling, so hard in his own pants that he thought he might burst. Seonghwa ignored it in favor of listening to the sexy noises that slipped out of Hongjoong’s mouth. 

“Fuck, I’m so-so close baby…” Joong’s grip tightened on his head for a moment before he let go. “Do you–ah god, do you–fuck…”

Seonghwa could tell from his words and how slack his hands had become, the less vigorous movements from Hongjoong, that the man was trying to give Hwa an out in case he didn’t want Joong to cum. But he did.

Hwa tapped Hongjoong’s wrist twice, placing his hands on the man’s hips, gripping him tightly. He started bobbing his head again to show exactly what he wanted, and then Hongjoong was shifting his hips up and pulling Seonghwa’s head down to meet his pelvis. 

“Hwa you fee-feel so good–ah, I’m gonna–cum! Fuck!” Joong’s words barely managed to get out of his mouth before Hwa felt the hot liquid pour down his throat. He worked hard to swallow everything and not choke on both the dick in his throat and the cum that mixed with it. Tears were in his eyes, but he moaned at the sensation, so turned on he felt like one touch against his cock would have him following in his boyfriend’s footsteps. But he remained focused on the man beneath him, sucking him dry until Joong’s orgasm had clearly settled. 

Seonghwa pulled off with a pop sound that made him grin. He looked up at Hongjoong, noting the dazed look in his eyes and how heavy he was breathing, clearly still coming down. Hwa climbed back up Hongjoong, sitting on his lap. He pulled the man’s hands up and stuck them on his waist. “How long do you need, Joongie? I need you so bad.” He rolled his hips, cock pressed against Joong’s thigh, making him moan. “Want you inside of me, please, god.” He was so desperate.

Hongjoong seemed to be coming back to reality slowly as he blinked his eyes a few times and looked up at his boyfriend. “Baby wait, please.” His hands tightened around Hwa’s waist, a clear show of trying to make him stop moving, but all it did was turn Seonghwa on more. He moaned and started moving faster. 

“Oh god, Joong, please, I’m already so close.” The friction was so delicious. 

Seonghwa was so blitzed out as he rolled his hips, not even caring that if he came it would be in his pants and make a huge mess. His hands landed on Hongjoong’s stomach, pressing there for leverage in his movements. 

“Goddamn, babe.” 

He heard Hongjoong’s voice but it wasn’t enough to pull him from the land of bliss he had stepped into. Suddenly he felt a hand on his cock, and moaned loudly, not even knowing when Hongjoong had unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. He felt the cool air of the room on his skin as Joong pumped him. 

“Come on baby, cum for me.”

Seonghwa screamed at the words, the hand on his dick tightening. He knew nothing else but the pleasure, so happy to be back with Hongjoong that he couldn’t think of anything else. He pressed further and harder into Hongjoong’s hand. “Y-yes, nee-need to…” 

He felt Hongjoong shift, and suddenly a hand was on his lower back, teeth on his earlobe, and warm breath fanning across his skin. “Be my good boy, beautiful.”

That’s all it took for Seonghwa to cum, those words. A strangled yell left his mouth as he exploded over Hongjoong’s hand, hips rocking back and forth until there was nothing left to get out. He dropped his head onto Hongjoong’s shoulder, breathing heavily and feeling slightly sated. He still needed more. Still needed his boyfriend inside of him, but for a moment he was okay to regain his strength. 

The pair remained that way for several minutes, with Hongjoong rubbing circles in Hwa’s back. 

“Need to get you cleaned up.” He mumbled as he kissed Seonghwa’s shoulder.

“No.” Seonghwa pouted, refusing to move even as Hongjoong tapped his hip to try and get him to do so. “Clean up after.” Seonghwa continued to pout as he pulled back to look at his boyfriend. 

“After what?” Hongoong chuckled. 

“After you fuck me until I pass out.” Seonghwa spoke with directness, leveling Hongjoong with the “Mother Hwa” look. He had to suppress the grin he wanted to let out as he noted the visible shiver that went through Joong’s body. 

“Okay, how about this?” Hongjoong leaned forward and pressed his lips to Hwa’s. “I clean you up. We eat something to regain strength, drink some water, and then I’ll fuck you so hard that you pass out. Even if that means fucking you all night. Maybe we could go for that elusive fifth orgasm hmm?”

Seonghwa pouted again but finally relented. Mostly because he liked the idea of them trying for five orgasms in one night. The most Seonghwa had ever managed, and it was during a marathon sex night, was four. That had blown both of them away, and their attempts for five over the next few months were always left wanting. 

“Okay.” He nodded and moved off of his boyfriend, grimacing at the mess he could feel on his cock. Looking down he frowned when he realized it was on his pants too. 

The pair spent a few minutes getting cleaned up and changing into new clothes. 

An assortment of fresh fruit and champagne adorned the table, glistening in the soft, ambient light of the room. Seonghwa had been so caught up in the moment with Joong that he barely noticed the spread. He wandered over, picking up a plump strawberry. As he bit into it, the sweetness burst across his tongue, drawing a small, delighted smile to his lips.

When he turned around, the strawberry half forgotten in his hand, his breath hitched. Hongjoong was there, down on one knee, his gaze warm and unwavering.

“What… what are you doing?” Seonghwa whispered, his voice barely audible over the sudden pounding of his heart.

Hongjoong’s smile deepened, full of love and a quiet confidence that made Seonghwa’s knees weak. From his pocket, he drew a small velvet box.

Seonghwa’s eyes widened, tears welling up faster than he could blink them away. His hand trembled as he instinctively brought it to his chest, the half eaten strawberry slipping from his other hand and landing soundlessly on the carpet. “Hongjoong…” he murmured, his voice trembling with emotion. He stepped closer, his legs feeling unsteady beneath him as his heart raced with both anticipation and disbelief.

“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong began, his voice soft yet unwavering, rich with the depth of his feelings. “You’ve been the brightest light in my life for so long. At first, you were my Northern Star—so far away, so unobtainable, yet always there, guiding me, lighting my path forward when I felt lost. And then… then you fell to earth, and I got to hold you in my arms.”

Hongjoong paused, his own eyes shining with unshed tears, and Seonghwa swore he could feel every word settle into the deepest corners of his heart. “You brought warmth and color into my world in a way I never thought possible. You changed everything for the better. Without you, life would be dull, cold, and empty. I don’t ever want to know that kind of world again. I want you with me, always. For the rest of our lives and beyond.”

As he spoke, Hongjoong opened the small box, revealing a stunning white gold ring. The light caught on its intricate details, making it shimmer like the stars Hongjoong had compared him to.

“Park Seonghwa,” Hongjoong said, his voice steady despite the tears slipping down his cheeks. “No, Park Fucking Seonghwa, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Seonghwa’s tears spilled over as his shaking hands covered his mouth. He stared down at the man who had become his everything, the man who loved him so openly and deeply, and felt his heart swell until he thought it might burst.

“Y-yes! Of course I will marry you! Oh my god.” Seonghwa could hardly believe the reality of his life.

Hongjoong often talked about the reality of his own life and how he couldn’t believe he was really dating Park Seonghwa. He would talk about how unbelievable everything was, even so far into their relationship and all of the changes they’d experienced together. Joong would joke and talk about being afraid to wake up one day and realize it was all just a dream of a crazy Halo. Seonghwa would always laugh at him and tell him it wasn’t a dream, that he was very real and the love they had was too. 

What Hongjoong never realized was how many times Seonghwa had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t the one dreaming. His life since coming out had been a whirlpool of emotions and experiences. He had lost so much, but had gained Hongjoong, and he would do everything the same if it meant finding his boyfriend again. His renewed fame and career only sweetened the deal, but if he had had to choose between Hongjoong and being an artist again, he would have chosen the man that brightened up his world. The man that made him realize being himself was never a bad thing, and that living authentically was all that really mattered. Because when one hid who they were, they were left embittered and cold in a world that wore masks to hide their scorn. It was better to see the world without the mask and live freely, than to be surrounded by paper faces.