Archive of Our Own

Life was never easy. Keeping up wasn’t easy either and that’s what the ninja seemed to struggle with the most. It wasn’t that they weren’t used to it by now, they certainly should’ve been, but it only got more difficult over time, especially since the merge.

The merge was stressful, although that was a heavy understatement. It’d put pressure on all of them. The world they’d known so well, the people inhabiting it that they got to know, was all destroyed. The ninja had very little knowledge of the other realms, besides a few, and some of which they had never heard of before. Mysterium was completely new to their ears and it seemed like Wu didn’t even know about it beforehand. Though, it was a bit difficult to ask him. None of his scrolls on the other realms seemed to make sense either. It was almost as if he was still discovering some of them. 

The state of the world and everything happening around them made it only harder for them to wrap their heads around how many realms there really were and where in the world they were now. It seemed like some had come together in certain places too. There didn’t seem to be much of Ninjago left. They hadn’t even found Ninjago City yet. Who knows if Ninjago City was even still standing.

But that’s probably where most people, such as friends and family, were. If only they could locate it easier. Considered they’d ventured pretty far, it was hard knowing how big the world really was now.

It just led to the ninja being more stressed though. Lloyd had been so panicked about taking over Wu’s role at the Monastery and training new students. He seemed to get in his head a lot. Kai and Nya were helping him though and it took some of that pressure away, but he still didn’t seem fully okay.

The Tournament of Sources didn’t help that either.

Now, everyone was on edge and quite frankly miserable. It sucked the life out of them completely, but Lloyd vowed to remain focused and learn more about the new world around them. It was growing a little easier with time but now that he was focused on saving the world too and trying to figure out what Wu’s sayings meant - god, why couldn’t he have just explained things simply rather than in riddles - he seemed to be making tough decisions.

That didn’t stop today.

“Thank you three for coming. I know this is really last minute but I need to talk to you,” the green ninja held a scroll open to his chest. He’d been looking through a few before calling a team meeting. 

Sort of team meeting. Minus a few members.

Kai, Zane and Cole were sat at the kitchen table, Lloyd stood at the end of it. Cole sat back in a seat opposite the other two, his arms folded. Kai was getting ready to leave with Nya to go looking for Jay. They were wasting no time in tracking him down. Cole and Zane, however, were in the Samurai X Cave, researching on the big screen into how to fix a shattered soul. They’d borrowed some of Wu’s scrolls in hopes of finding any clues but it appeared even their master didn’t know of the existence of Shatterspin. There didn’t seem to be many history books about it either. They considered taking a trip to the Cloud Kingdom archives but thought it would be no hope and a complete waste of their time. 

They’d all been pretty annoyed that Lloyd decided to call a meeting so last minute, especially considering Kai knew his sister was desperate to get out, but Lloyd had never been the type to call something so abruptly unless it was important. His nervous stature helped to prove that.

The lack of the other ninja at this meeting meant a lot too. None of them questioned it though. They just assumed it was a brotherly sort of thing. Lloyd always seemed to be more relaxed around them - except for right now. His lack of eye contact didn’t put them at ease at all.

“What’s up?” Kai sat forward with that usual cocky grin of his.

“Don’t tell me the Forbidden Five are at it already,” Cole groaned, glancing down at the table briefly.

Lloyd cleared his throat, “no, uh.. I just wanted to run something by you. Or- rather just let you know of my plans.”

Kai raised an eyebrow, “as in you want our feedback?”

Lloyd had been pretty independent so far. Sure, he asked for help sometimes, but he often declined it whenever someone asked. It was probably because of the pressure of living up to his uncle, but the other ninja just assumed it was because he was in control enough. Sometimes it didn’t seem that way though.

He’d grown more and more nervous, as if he was questioning everything he was doing, and that was evident now too. He didn’t seem sure of his actions most of the time, but tried to pass it off as if he knew what he was doing, probably in hopes of reassuring the newer students. Kai offered a helping hand most of the time but Lloyd always declined. 

It was nice knowing Lloyd trusted these three enough to come to them about something though. It put them at ease a little, especially with seeing how stressed their brother had become. They felt so separated lately. 

“Not exactly,” Lloyd responded awkwardly, “I’ve already decided. I just need to… let you know, that’s all.”

Kai glanced at Zane, who just shrugged at him. Cole finally looked away from the table, his eyes meeting the green ninja.

“Fire away,” he told him.

Lloyd’s closed off posture and nervousness only meant whatever this was, wasn’t good. That or the lack of sleep was finally catching up to him, no thanks to those visions he kept getting. Zane offered to talk with him about it, being a vision haver himself, but Lloyd just shrugged it off and pretended he was fine. It was obvious he wasn’t.

“Okay, well…” Lloyd gulped, “I think we need to focus on what’s important right now.”

Cole’s eyebrows furrowed lightly, glancing at Kai briefly, who just smiled. 

“Is that not what we were already doing?” red seemed amused.

“What would you consider important?” Zane spoke up, a curious tinge to his robotic tone.

Lloyd’s posture became more stiff, avoiding eye contact even more now. He glanced down at his feet and readjusted his standing position.

“Well, uhm, many things,” he shrugged.

“Like…?” Cole raised an eyebrow.

The green ninja looked up at them, glancing between them, but his gaze ultimately fell on the table again. They were confused, not that Lloyd could blame them, but he didn’t know how to explain it without getting backlash. He just hoped they’d understand and agree. Although, that wasn’t likely. They already seemed sceptical.

“Finding Arin and-”

“I thought you were already doing that,” Kai questioned.

Lloyd nodded, “I am.”

Zane placed a firm hand on the fire ninja’s shoulder, “Kai, let him talk.”

Kai twisted to look at Zane with a confused expression, while Zane gave him a comforting smile. Lloyd watched them for a moment before ultimately returning to looking at the table yet again.

He took in a deep breath, “we need to focus on finding Arin, stopping the Forbidden Five, and saving the world. Everything else… should wait.”

Kai and Zane exchanged confused expressions while Cole remained staring at the green ninja, his eyebrows furrowed even more.

“What are you trying to say?” Kai questioned, his gaze falling back on his younger brother, “that we aren’t focusing or what?”

“No, no,” he spoke quickly, “that’s not what I’m saying. I just think it’s best if we put our focus and attention into the things that are most important to saving the world right now, which includes training our students.”

It was true; training the new ninja was important and was certainly one of their top priorities like it had always been. Wyldfyre was significantly behind on training, no thanks to Kai’s adventure in the Nether Space, and Sora still needed to learn Spinjitzu, but it wasn’t like they weren’t skilled enough already. They were doing well, and they couldn’t just learn everything overnight. Sometimes it felt like Lloyd was putting too much pressure on them, but the other ninja never wanted to say it aloud. 

However, training wasn’t the only important thing. The team didn’t have time to focus on training as well as everything else going on. 

Kai frowned, “I thought Zane was going to take over training Wyldfyre for me while Nya and I are out?”

For once, Lloyd looked up at him. As confused as Kai was, completely clueless as to what Lloyd was trying to say, that slight hint of guilt in the green ninja’s eyes made his stomach churn. Cole, however, seemed to be catching on and was not amused. He watched Lloyd intently, frowning completely now, his arms still very much crossed.

“I think training Wyldfyre is more important right now.”

Kai glanced back at Zane, who just looked somewhat sad. The fire ninja was looking for an answer to whatever Lloyd was suggesting, but Zane could barely look at him as it was.

“I mean, didn’t Wu say we need unity to save the world? Without the full team, we aren’t united,” Kai spoke to Zane, hoping for a response. 

Just as Zane met Kai’s gaze, the fire ninja glanced back to Lloyd, who was staring at him with an uneasy expression.

Kai was confused, clearly he didn’t understand like the other two did, but what Lloyd was saying just wasn’t making sense and quite frankly there was some meaning behind it that Kai couldn’t pinpoint. Cole and Zane’s expressions showed that enough. 

Lloyd took in another deep breath.

“I… think we have a full team already.”

Zane glanced at Kai, who just seemed more confused. He sat up straight, placing a hand on the table, while he looked at Cole, who just remained staring at Lloyd. He seemed annoyed, his breath staggered.

“Well, after we get Arin back of course,” Lloyd added nervously.

The four remained silent for a minute. Cole sat trying to read Lloyd’s expression, hoping for him to add something else, except he didn’t. He just stood staring at the three awkwardly, waiting for them to say something. Zane didn’t look at anyone, his eyes finding the table before him. Kai kept glancing between the three of them, ultimately his gaze landing on the green ninja.

None of them wanted to say anything, mostly because they didn’t want to confirm Lloyd’s sayings, but if none of them spoke up then this conversation would be over in a flash and none of them would have the chance to question Lloyd’s decision.

After all, although Lloyd was trying to tell them gently in fear of getting a bad reaction, it was still evident what he was trying to say. Or at least Zane and Cole caught onto it. Kai, on the other hand, was clueless. 

As pissed as Cole was, as much as he wanted his suspicions to be wrong, he had to be the one to question it if nobody else would.

“I’m not being funny, Lloyd, but did you hit your head?” 

Lloyd took in a shaky breath and shook his head lightly, “no.”

Awkward silence again. Lloyd gulped, glancing between the three in hopes of a nod or at least a look of somewhat agreement. Although, what was he expecting with something like this?

Zane decided to finally speak up, though quiet, “aren’t you forgetting someone?”

“No, I just-”

Kai groaned and turned to face Lloyd more, “Just say what you want to say.”

Lloyd stopped, staring at his brother for a moment. The annoyance and bewilderment on the fire ninja’s face only hurt more. He didn’t want to do this, nor did he want to talk to them about it, but it was the only option he could see. Kai’s arrogance didn’t make it easy.

He let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding as the three stared at him. Zane’s only expression was worry, while Cole was just becoming angry, although trying his best to hold it in. After all, it’s not like Lloyd had outright said anything yet.

Though, that was quickly proven wrong.

“We shouldn’t waste our time looking for someone we don’t even know how to help.”

Kai, still completely lost, opened his mouth to say anything but he was quickly cut off by Cole, who decided to sit up properly in his chair. 

“He’s lost his memories, that’s hardly his fault,” he questioned with an annoyed tone.

Kai’s head whipped round to look at Cole, his heart sinking. It didn’t take long for his eyes to find Lloyd again, who looked at him with guilt. The betrayal on the fire ninja’s face made green feel worse. 

Out of everything Kai had assumed Lloyd was saying, he hadn’t even considered this. He hadn’t considered he’d do something like this at all. Although it was obvious, he couldn’t wrap his head around it, the idea being completely fuzzy in his head. After all, he couldn’t picture the team without that special person in it. 

The fact Lloyd was suggesting giving up was enough to make Kai question everything.

Lloyd sighed, “I know but… it’s been 3 years. We’ve made a new team now and-”

Cole sat forward at the table properly, his heart thumping, “that’s not an excuse to forget him. He is part of this team.”

“We have no clue how to fix a shattered soul, let alone bring his memories back. He’s clearly moved on and I think so should we.”

It was only pissing Cole off more. After these past few days of he and Zane doing their best into researching what they could do to help their friend, after Lloyd saw how hard they were trying, why was he doing this now? It was bad enough the idea was even in his head, that he was physically standing in front of them, telling them to give up, but the fact Lloyd had known they were doing their best to help, to fight whatever had happened to their friend, was worse. So much worse. 

And quite frankly, it made Cole mad. 

Kai didn’t feel any better about it either, especially with how Lloyd had painted it out to be something not so bad. Sure, he made some points about it being a long time since the merge occurred, but that didn’t mean he had any right to kick him from their team. From this family.

“Move on? Lloyd, he doesn’t even know what he’s moved on from,” Kai tried his best to stay calm.

Lloyd became more nervous as they fought back, and although he should’ve been aware this would happen, part of him wanted to believe they’d understand. He’d never been good at defending himself, especially not against his brothers, but knowing they were right made it harder too. Yet he still stood by his point.

“This team has a new dynamic, new members, and in full honesty, it makes no sense for him to be considered part of the team when he hasn’t been here.”

Kai went to say something again, but was interrupted by Cole’s hands slamming down on the table. Lloyd jumped, the earth ninja raising from his seat. The pure anger in his eyes made Lloyd shiver.

“What, so you’re just going to give up on him?!”

“No!” Lloyd exclaimed, “but right now we have more important things to be worrying ab-”

“So Jay forgetting us all, being all alone out there, just isn’t important enough? He’s our friend, Lloyd, our family. If we aren’t looking out for him, who will?” 

Lloyd opened his mouth, trying to think of something to fight back with, but he didn’t get the chance. Kai leaned forward on his chair, his fingers gripping the edge of the table. He looked desperate, somewhat sad, but mostly angry.

“Cole’s right, what if he’s in danger?” Kai questioned, “what if he trusts the wrong person again? Or ends up back in Ras’ hands?”

Lloyd couldn’t look at them anymore, he was too panicked, “then we can worry about that after we save the world. If we don’t focus on fixing everything, there won’t be a Jay to save-”

Cole scoffed, “that’s exactly what you said at the Tournament.”

“You promised we’d go looking for him,” the desperate tone to Kai’s voice made Lloyd feel sick.

His anxiety began turning into anger. He didn’t want this to happen, he didn’t want his brothers to turn against him. He couldn’t blame them, but at the end of the day he was the leader and what he said goes. He just wished the team saw it that way. 

But he’d already decided and, besides, was he even wrong? There were so many things they needed to focus on, but saving the world was most definitely the most important thing on the list. If they all split up and did different things, it’d take too long to be united again and save the world. The fact they were all split to begin with was what had made it so difficult so far.

Lloyd doing this only split them further.

“And I changed my mind!” he exclaimed. 

He didn’t mean to get so irate about it, but his desperacy to defend himself had become too much. Perhaps it was because part of him knew he was wrong, that he should care more for his friend, but the much stronger part of him that was forcing him to be the strong leader that the Monastery needed was too overpowering. 

Cole moved back from the table slightly, really trying to control his anger, but the fact his best friend was being sidelined, especially after everything at the Tournament, just made him so upset. He really didn’t expect Lloyd of all people to be acting like this.

Quite frankly, it was unbelievable. Maybe that was why everyone was so dramatically upset.

“He wouldn’t do this to us,” Cole shook his head, raising his voice, “he wouldn’t do this to you ! After everything he’s done for the team, this is how you’re treating him?”

Lloyd took in a sharp breath, “Cole, you don’t understand-”

“Give up the wise master act, Lloyd. Jay has always been there for us, he’s always fought for us, the least we can do is fight for him . He’s alone and lost and doesn’t remember anything. It’ll just get worse if we don’t help him.”

The guilt in Lloyd’s eyes wasn’t enough to make Cole stop.

“I don’t care if you feel indifferent about him, but he’s part of this team whether you like it or not and there’s no chance of us being united without him,” Cole snarled.

“We have bigger things to worry about, Cole!” Lloyd exclaimed in a frantic tone, “I’m not doing this because I don’t like Jay, I’m doing it because I’m thinking of the team .”

“What team ?!”

Kai sighed, “Cole-”

Lloyd glanced over at the masters of fire and ice. Kai looked away almost immediately, his eyes landing on Cole. He was annoyed, it was obvious, but he seemed mostly upset. Zane, on the other hand, was in a world of his own. His eyes remained stuck to the table, his eyebrows furrowed.

Lloyd let out an awkward laugh, “Zane, you’re smart, you understand what I’m saying, right?”

All eyes were on Zane, yet he still wasn’t looking at anyone. Zane often kept out of arguments, he hated feeling stressed and he most certainly hated seeing his friends fight, but he always seemed to find his way in the middle of them. He’d tried his best to ignore it, but that appeared harder than expected.

And to be honest, he still didn’t want to be involved even though he was being dragged into it against his will. Every time he was dragged into it, he always saw both sides of the story. He always understood both parties but this time…

Zane finally looked at him, sorrow in his gaze. 

“You agree with me, right?”

All Zane did was shake his head.

Lloyd’s face fell, the guilt really striking him in the chest. The one person he could count on was against him too, and quite frankly, he deserved it. He really did.

Cole groaned, shaking his head, “we’re going looking for Jay whether you like it or-”

“No.”

The three stopped, staring at him in surprise.

“I forbid you.”

“Are you serious?” Cole blinked.

Kai frowned, “you’re not our master, Lloyd. You don’t control what we do.”

The green ninja went back to avoiding eye contact. He stepped back from the table slightly, hoping that this would be the end of the conversation and they’d just go along with it. 

But that would be too easy.

“Well, I am,” he doubled down, “no one is allowed to go looking for Jay, okay? Now, can we please focus on finding Arin?”

As Kai went to say something, only seemingly more confused, Cole stepped around the table. 

“Do you wanna try telling Nya all this? That she can’t go looking for her yang because you’ve decided he’s not important enough?” his voice was seemingly raising.

Lloyd didn’t say anything.

He stepped even closer, “you’re telling us that our friend, who’s lost his memories , is confused and hurt and needs our help, isn’t important enough because we ‘have a new team’? Would he not have been part of the team if he hadn’t lost his memories? And who said we were making a new team? All we’ve done is add to the one we already had.”

Now he was up in Lloyd’s face, but the green ninja couldn’t fight back. He had no other arguments, nothing left to say, and Cole was right. He knew he was right. They were all right. 

“Cole-” Kai got up from his chair.

Zane did nothing but watch, his blinks much slower and breath heavier. Why did things have to be like this?

“Or was he just not valuable enough to you?” Cole questioned.

Just as he went to say something else, Kai stepped in front of him, separating him from Lloyd. 

“Cole, stop,” Kai spoke firmly.

For a moment, Cole considered fighting it, pushing the fire ninja out the way, and continuing to give Lloyd a piece of his mind, but seeing the concerned look on Kai’s face, perhaps it was best to leave it.

And when his eyes met Lloyd’s guilty and somewhat scared expression, Cole felt his heart drop, all the anger leaving almost abruptly.

He hadn’t meant to get so angry. He hadn’t meant to upset Lloyd. 

He’d always been so good at controlling his emotions, vowing to never get upset or angry at someone who didn’t deserve it, but here we were, being held back from a fight. Not that he was actually ever going to do anything to Lloyd anyway.

Glancing at Zane was the last straw. He looked so scared, so upset.. He didn’t mean to stress Zane out.

Lloyd sighed, his voice breathy, “I’m sorry.”

But before anyone got the chance to respond, he removed himself from the room, leaving them all stood in tense silence. 

God, this really wasn’t how they were imagining this meeting to go.

Zane returned to staring at the table, trying to stabilise his emotions, but it appeared to be too difficult. He was usually good at it, or sometimes if it was too tough, he’d turn his emotion metre off. He promised Kai he’d never do that again though, and often talked things out with the master of fire. That was difficult with things he didn’t quite understand though. Like this.

Perhaps that’s why he hadn’t said anything.

Kai was pissed off, it was evident, but being pissed at Lloyd for making yet another stupid decision he’d likely regret later just wasn’t worth it. And it certainly wasn’t worth bringing more attention to the room when Nya wasn’t too far away. The last thing she needed right now was to hear Lloyd’s plans. If that’s how Cole reacted, who knows how much worse she’d be.

That didn’t stop him from being disappointed in his brother though. He knew Lloyd well and he knew how stressed he’d been lately, but that wasn’t an excuse for his behaviour. Sidelining their friend like that wasn’t fair. Maybe Lloyd would see that now though. Kai would speak to him later, but for now everyone just needed to calm down and take some time to think things through. 

He’d never been the one to calm a situation down, especially considering he was usually the one starting arguments, but being on either end of it felt horrible. 

“Why don’t we go get some-”

He didn’t even need to finish his sentence before Cole stormed off. Cole didn’t seem so angry anymore, just upset, but leaving him alone for a while was probably the best decision. 

Kai sighed, watching as the master of earth left the room. He’d never seen Cole so angry, especially not at Lloyd, but he couldn’t really blame him.

Looked like it was just him and Zane left. Perhaps that was a good thing. Zane could get some things off his chest if he wanted to. 

He turned to Zane, who was just staring at him worriedly, almost a plea for help. Kai gave him a reassuring smile. Even though Kai didn’t feel necessarily happy, nor positive, he still had to be for Zane’s sake. For if Zane wasn’t going to reassure anyone else, Kai had to be the one to reassure him . 

For a nindroid, he sure did worry a lot.

“Do you wanna go get some fresh air?” Kai asked softly.

They found themselves sat outside the Monastery beside the steps to the gates. Zane hadn’t said anything, just walking in silence, but Kai tried to keep up with some optimistic conversation. He had never really considered himself a waffler, not like someone else on their team, but he found random things to discuss with himself while Zane listened. Although, he wasn’t necessarily certain that the master of ice was listening at all.

They sat in silence now though. The sun was just about to set, another long yet tiring day in their new world. Although it had been three years since the merge occurred, they still weren’t used to their surroundings. It was difficult to wrap their heads around it. It’s not like they had the time to sit and think about it though, especially not with all this saving the world crap. 

Not to mention trying to find their friends and family. Not that they were actively searching, not like they were doing with Arin, but they did search for them in every place they went to. It was particularly difficult at the Crossroads. So many people, some somewhat familiar, threw them off entirely. Sometimes they were just so distracted that they completely forgot to look.

They were both disappointed, mostly surprised, but the fact Lloyd was acting this way made them overthink everything. Ever since the team had started coming back together after the merge, there was always this weird feeling, a weird kind of tension. Most of them assumed it was because they’d been apart for over a year and they were all so much different - some even having new families - but now that they had been back together for a while (minus a few members) that odd tension hadn’t seemed to fade at all. It was only growing stronger. 

The team didn’t get along like they used to. They weren’t spending time together like they did before. Cole was distant, spending more time with the Finders. Lloyd was completely different, but that was because of the pressure about being the new Master of the Monastery. Wu was gone. Misako, Pixal and Jay were all still missing. Kai and Nya were helping Lloyd with training so they were distracted most of the time. And Zane… He was just on his own.

He’d had so much time to think about everything, to consider why the team wasn’t the same as it was, yet his mind had never come to a definite answer. After the year of being apart from his friends - not that he remembered it - nobody was necessarily overjoyed to see him. He never had a heartwarming reunion with Kai and Nya. They were surprised to see him, sure, and Zane didn’t quite understand there was a time gap from the last time he saw them, but they didn’t seem ecstatic. They never hugged him.

Sometimes it seemed like they just didn’t care. That and Zane had been thinking about the absence of the other team members. 

Before the merge, he’d spent so much time with Pixal but he also thought that he was close to his friends - especially Kai, Cole and Jay - yet it seemed like they all seemed to forget about his existence. Cole was good, he was great company and he talked to him the most, but sometimes it felt forced.

Was it wrong to feel like he was being forgotten when everyone was just so busy?

It also brought light to the fact he thought about how much time he’d spent with Jay too. Jay had always been there for him, not that the others weren’t, but he’d always made time for Zane. They played video games together, Jay taught him random things and random cheats that sometimes Zane wasn’t necessarily comfortable doing, but it was fun nevertheless. Jay often helped Zane with building vehicles and mechs, which the nindroid didn't seem to appreciate enough back then. 

Now that he thought about it, Jay had always made time for him ever since they met. He didn’t treat him like he was a nindroid. 

It only made all of this, and Jay missing, so much worse. Zane had never felt this lost. Without Jay or Pixal, he felt somewhat out of place. For a while, it seemed like he was the only one that remembered them, or even cared. Sometimes Zane just considered it was because his memory was amazing, he literally couldn’t forget anything, and that’s why he never brought it up with anyone, not even Kai. Now that he saw how Lloyd was reacting to it all, how easily he seemed to disregard Jay, it felt too real.

“We’re still going looking for Jay, right?”

He almost didn’t want to ask, fearing the worst answer, but he knew he could trust Kai. He knew Kai had at least some brains. 

Kai let out a small chuckle, “yes, obviously.”

The fire ninja glanced at him, but his response didn’t seem to make Zane feel better at all. 

Kai had always been there for Zane. He was one of the only people that listened to his problems and reassured him, but this time felt different. It almost felt like there was nothing that could be done. Zane had already been at a loss for words when he’d seen Jay at the tournament, and even when Kai asked if he wanted to talk about it, he couldn’t think of anything.

It’d been a lie. 

Zane never liked lying, and quite frankly he wasn’t good at it, but burdening his best friend with his issues, the same feelings they were all feeling (although apparently besides Lloyd), didn’t seem fair. Kai, on the other hand, wasn’t buying Zane’s denial but decided to leave it, letting his processors straighten things out. It was often hard for Zane to understand his feelings, or even talk things out at all.

Kai didn’t want to force Zane to talk to him either. He knew that Zane would do it in his own time, and if he really needed to get things off his chest then he would, but that didn’t stop him from giving subtle hints to the nindroid that it was a safe space for him to talk if need be. 

Now was one of those times.

The fact Zane could so easily read and understand everyone’s feelings and emotions made things so much more confusing. It was overwhelming and the silence made it obvious to Kai. That’s why he’d always chosen to break up team disputes. Although, this time it seemed like he was at a loss for words. Perhaps that was just because he couldn’t wrap his head around it all. Kai couldn’t blame him.

So, instead, Kai decided to try his best to reassure him.

“Lloyd’s been pretty stressed lately, I’m sure he’ll calm down and realise he was wrong,” he paused awkwardly, “he’s been distant from us all, honestly I’m not too surprised that he’s distancing from Jay too.”

They remained in silence for a minute, Zane still refusing to look at the fire ninja. His eyes were seemingly glued to the ground in front of them, deep in thought. His brows were furrowed slightly and he barely blinked. If Kai hadn’t been used to Zane’s thought process, he likely would’ve been more worried.

But worrying would only hurt Zane more.

Kai let the silence last for as long as it needed to.

“I just…” Zane spoke quietly with a sombre tone, “I don’t understand.”

Kai frowned, glancing at him.

“Hm?”

“I thought Jay was important. I thought he was important to the team,” the nindroid looked so lost, “he’s important to me .”

“He is. He’s important to us all.”

“Then I don’t understand why he’s treated like this.”

Kai sighed, glancing out into the distance, “I don’t know. Lloyd’s just having a rough day.”

Not that it was necessarily an excuse, but Kai just wanted to put Zane’s mind at ease.

The horizon seemed to calm them both down though. It was peaceful and quiet. There wasn’t much in the distance anymore, especially not since the merge, but the soft colours above them made it all worthwhile.

The sun wasn’t so blinding anymore, although still bright. The comforting blue of the sky previously now joined with soft reds and oranges were so satisfying, so ethereal, that it seemed to warm their hearts. The few white clouds swirled in the sky, perfectly placed, were so wistful. 

There was something so special about it.

“To be honest, I don’t think Lloyd and Jay were ever all that close. Not like us four were,” Kai spoke quietly, “sure, they had things in common, but they didn’t tend to hangout or spend time alone together. I don’t know why.”

The small silent breaks in their conversation weren’t awkward, but somewhat comforting.

“Is that why he doesn’t care about him?” Zane asked.

Kai blinked, “he cares about him, I know he does, but… he’s going through a lot at the moment.”

Kai didn’t sound so sure though. It seemed like he was trying to assure himself too, but Zane didn’t mind. He appreciated that he was trying, but that didn’t stop him from worrying still. 

Kai’s gaze landed on the nindroid again, expecting him to at least feel better, yet all he looked was more upset. He let out a small breath, returning to the sunset before them, watching as the blue faded further and further out of sight.

“Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one that enjoys Jay’s presence,” Zane 

The statement took Kai by surprise. 

“I miss him too,” he shook his head.

“But even when he was here, before the merge, he seemed more distant with the team.”

Kai never really thought about it. He hadn’t really spent much time with Jay before the merge happened. He could confidently say they hadn’t ever really spent much alone time together full stop, but he wished they had. Perhaps that’s not something he would’ve thought back then, he’d taken Jay’s presence for granted a lot, but he certainly did nowadays. 

To be completely honest, he couldn’t even remember the last time he spent alone time with the master of lightning. Sure, it was harder to think of it now because the merge was years ago, but he really struggled to think of a time where he last hung out with him. Although, his memory has been shit lately. He hated to admit it but sometimes he struggled to remember his face. It’d been so long. Even remembering his stupidly high-pitched voice was difficult.

Perhaps it was a good thing he hadn’t been at the tournament. Nya told him about how much deeper it was. About how different he was. 

Kai wasn’t sure he’d be able to cope with those changes. 

He shrugged, “he was spending a lot of time with Nya.”

Zane went quiet again. Kai didn’t really know what else to do. It was clear Zane cared about Jay a lot, they all did, but Zane appeared to have some kind of connection with him, one he didn’t share with anyone else. Kai hadn’t seen him so upset before. Zane was usually great at finding the right words to say, about getting things off his chest, yet right now all he seemed to do was think of the most gut-wrenching questions that he probably didn’t even want answered. 

After a while though, and many more glances in Zane’s direction, Kai decided it was about time the conversation got more lively. Perhaps Zane didn’t want to discuss it properly, or how he was feeling, but it was evident he wanted Kai’s company for a reason. 

Besides, bringing more attention to what Lloyd was saying and how they all missed their friend wasn’t helping in making Zane feel better.

Kai straightened up, turning to Zane with a warm smile. He placed a reassuring hand on the nindroid’s shoulder which briefly grabbed his attention.

“We’ll get him back. He’s our number one priority, okay? Lloyd might not be interested in finding him right now but the four of us will track him down,” Kai nodded, “we’ll bring him home.”

Zane smiled a little but Kai could see it in his eyes that he didn’t really mean it.

“And once he’s home and we help him get his memories back, we can fill him in on all the crazy stories. And play video games or something,” Kai continued.

Zane’s smile didn’t seem to last long. Instead, he found himself thinking about everything Kai was saying. How if Jay was returned to them, where he belonged, things would be back to normal.

Except when he imagined the team sat together on the couch in the game room, playing Fist2Face, or laughing over hot chocolates at the dinner table, he couldn’t picture things being the same. Not like they used to be. There was something wrong with everything he pictured, whether it be someone missing or the vibe being completely off. Their laughs weren’t the same. The way they played video games together wasn’t the same. Their typical banter wasn’t the same. Even with everyone together, there was something still missing.

And that something was still Jay. Even if they got him back and tried their best to fix everything, it would never truly be fixed. If Jay remembered, he’d eventually find out how Lloyd had tried to forget about him. He’d find out how none of them went after him at the tournament. And he most certainly would never forgive himself for the things he did. 

And what about the team? Would they ever act the same around him knowing the things he did? It wasn’t Jay’s fault, but there would always be that awkward tension. 

The thought of any of it made Zane feel nauseous. 

“Will things ever be the same again?” he asked, that same sad look returning to his face, “even if we get him back?”

Kai was taken back by the question, his smile fading immediately. He looked at Zane longingly, hoping to find some sort of answer, yet he couldn’t. He removed his hand from his friend’s shoulder, sitting back against the wall properly. The sunset didn’t seem to provide him with comfort anymore. 

“Honestly, probably not,” he wasn’t at peace with his response, “I do think it’ll be better than it is now though. The team dynamic has felt… off… since the merge. Like there’s something missing.”

At least Zane knew he wasn’t the only one feeling it.

“I guess that missing thing - or person - is Jay,” Kai sighed, “once we get him back, and Pixal, we’ll be a united team once again.”

Zane smiled but this time it was genuine. He didn’t look at Kai, but Kai could tell it made him feel somewhat better. Everyone seemed to forget about Pixal. The fact nobody even questioned that small period of time where Zane was losing his mind, talking to a broom with her face on it, really made it seem like everyone had forgotten about him too. It was hard to break out of that broom habit, but instead he found comfort in talking to her picture before bed every night, hoping she’d come back to him soon.

After a long silent pause, them both watching as the orange hues took over the sky and the sun set further, Kai moved into a more comfortable position, leaning his head against Zane’s shoulder. 

It took a moment but Zane eventually rested his head against Kai’s head and they stayed like that for a while, just sitting in silence, enjoying one another’s presence. It wasn’t often that they got to do this, and to be honest it was probably the first time they’d curled up together, but it was comforting.

The two weren’t knew to having deep conversations and heart to hearts - they did it often after difficult missions before the merge - and Kai and Zane were just so comfortable with each other like that, but having one right now, looking out at the chaos the world had become and being able to just remain in the moment was special. It was something they definitely took for granted, but it put them both at ease, at least for a little while.

“This is the first time we’ve been without Jay,” Zane stated out of the blue.

Kai frowned, something striking him in the chest. He blinked, a somewhat quick montage of their lives as ninja playing through his already cluttered mind. He hadn’t thought about that before, although was he supposed to think about that when they were missing people? Most of the time it was because one of them were dead. 

Maybe that’s why it felt so weird now though. When the team were split after the merge, all going on separate missions, it felt so much different. Kai didn’t really care too much, although he missed his friends, he at least knew they’d be okay. The team hadn’t ever been without Jay before, not like they had been with everyone else. Those few days before finding him in Prime Empire didn’t count. It only made knowing Jay had been without everyone else so much and so often so much more gut wrenching. He’d been through so much and now he didn’t even remember it. Although was that even a bad thing?

“It feels weird,” Zane added.

“..Yeah. It does.”

It seemed like the team dynamic was always off when Jay wasn’t with them. Even on the Island of the Keepers, where they took him somewhere separate, they knew he wasn’t far and knew he was probably safe, but the team still felt weird without him. Like there was something integral missing. He was so fun and lively. Without him, the team was just depressing. There was nothing exciting about it at all.

“Can I join you?”

The two glanced up from their comfortable position, their eyes meeting the earth ninja. He was stood in the doorway of the Monastery gate, staring down at them. He didn’t look happy, but he certainly was a lot calmer than before. Kai gave him a reassuring smile. Zane patted the spot next to him.

Cole made his way around while Kai rested his head back on Zane’s shoulder. Cole sat down beside Zane, staring out at the view with a somewhat sombre expression. The earth ninja brought his knees up to his chest, seemingly exhausted, but the other two didn’t question it. It was best to not discuss it right now.

They stayed like that for a minute, Kai huddled up to Zane, Cole staring out. Zane glanced at him though, noticing how lost he looked. So upset. So broken. It seemed like they were all in the same boat.

Zane held out an arm, hoping Cole would notice. He did. After a moment, Cole let out a light sigh, moving closer to his friend. He huddled up next to Zane, much like Kai had done, while Zane’s arm wrapped around him. 

They remained in silence, watching as the sunset and the world slowly changed around them. More and more clouds began to form, although still wistful, but the orange and red hues in the sky had grown more. The blue no longer existed.

Cole took in a deep breath, closing his eyes as he did so. Zane rested his head against his own.

It felt weird to be here. It felt weird to be huddled up together knowing there were still people out in the world that needed their help, but right now, they just needed to focus. They needed some time to themselves to think.

The company was nice.

“It was always the four of us from the beginning,” Kai spoke softly, “that’s not gonna change. They don’t call us the core four for nothing.”

“Nobody calls us that,” Cole responded.

Zane couldn’t help but smile. He’d missed this. He’d missed spending time with them. Once the whole team were back together, it’d all be perfect. Perhaps things wouldn’t ever be the same, but knowing there was a chance to fix things made it all worthwhile.

If only it didn’t mean they had to endure all this pain and stress to get there. There were some long days ahead of them, but they weren’t going to give up. 

Lloyd would come around too, they were sure of it.

Things would start to feel better soon enough, especially with that blue hue they missed so dearly.

“I love you guys.”