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r/CoParenting
u/MarinasBurner
What does normal, we’re not getting back together, co-parenting look like?
Hi, not a parent or co-parent. Sorry to intrude. But I have a question for you all.
What does normal co-parenting look like? My parents are still married and I don’t have any close friends with kids, but I’ve been dating a (so-called) single parent.
At first, I thought maybe he was cheating on one of us. Or that he had some kind of open relationship that he hadn’t discussed with me.
I made this post a while ago detailing all of the reasons that I thought my boyfriend had… someone else. A lot (and I do mean a lot) of people in the comments there said that it seems like there is a non-zero chance that they could just be divorced/broken up/separated and co-parenting really… really civilly.
Now, as I’ve already stated, I don’t have much experience with co-parenting. So I don’t know what is considered weird or normal or wrong or anything. But I think that this has to be at least a bit out of the norm? I’ve really only heard of co-parents fighting or only barely faking nice for the kid(s) and this is, so extremely not that.
Anyways, if you’ve seen the other post, that was apparently just the tip of the iceberg for these two.
Yesterday, I went to my boyfriend’s (We’re calling him E, if you haven’t seen the other post) house for dinner. To my knowledge, the dinner was suppose to be just me, E and E’s son (C).
Well, spoiler, it wasn’t. I walk in and, first of all, the house smells amazing. E let’s me in and I can hear pots and pans and things clanging around so I ask if C is helping cook.
E says yes, but instead of returning to the kitchen to help his child, we move towards the living room where E tells me that C is apparently the best sous chef but he wouldn’t actually know if the kid does more than sample the sides because he’s not allowed in the kitchen if anything with heat is on. (Which?? What? It’s his kitchen?)
Anyway, eventually C peaks out of the forbidden kitchen and, I’ll be honest I was already suspicious (see the events of my last post). So, we go and find our places at the table with C and, sure enough there’s B (for the newcomers, B is E’s… coworker/bestfriend/co-parent/ maybe they’re together maybe they’re not??) plating up what has to be the prettiest dish I’ve seen outside of a restaurant.
And listen, B’s super nice ok. But at this point I’m looking around like I’m about to be punked. Like someone is going to come out of the woodworks with a camera in my face laughing that I fell for it.
The excuse was that E can’t cook and they didn’t want to order because C really wanted this one specific thing for dinner (their bosses recipe, it was really good but that’s beside the point) so they just had B come over and cook “like he usually does”.
I don’t know if there’s something going on that maybe E just… forgot to mention. Or if they’re doing it on purpose. Seeing how long they can go, how far they can get before I say something.
Also, notably, is that while B did leave at C’s bedtime, C seemed awfully confused by it.
Any thoughts, opinions or similar experiences appreciated. Because I’m really starting to think this is some kind of joke I’m not in on.
ItsOKason
At first I was thinking that it was pretty sweet that E had his friend come cook for you since he can’t cook but uh,,, did B actually stay for the whole dinner
| MarinasBurner
He did. He stayed through dinner, through dessert (which he also made) and through a movie with E and the kid.
boymomx3
hi! i think ur in the wrong sub for this but i just read ur og post and im invested now so we’ll allow it
MaybeMarlene
OMG I saw the og post when it first blew up! I stand by my idea that this is some sort of weird hazing thing
| ScarlettWitchJohanson
Oh! I hadn’t thought of that one
Ravioli
This is crazy. I have co-workers who do this weird little co-dependent thing and I’ve always wondered how they manage to date like that. Weird to see the other side of it
| FlorenceEww
pretty privilege
| Ravioli
Probably exactly that tbf
| MarinasBurner
Are your co-workers together?
| Ravioli
I actually still don’t know
| MarinasBurner
Great. Thanks 🫤
DawnsDad
Not reading the other one. Y didn’t u leave when the other guy was there
| MarinasBurner
I don’t KNOW! I really like this guy ok
| DontKnowBoutPangea
Could you “really like” the other guy? Bc that looks like where this is going
| TaylorsVersion
Mmm, now if that were an option…
Kennedy
I feel like we’re all straying really far off the OP’s question. To me, no, this isn’t what I’d call “normal” co-parenting
| JamesBB
We’re not. The rest is just more interesting.
| Momofboth
There’s not really a definition of “normal co-parenting” that fits across the board. This could very well be their version of normal. Whatever works for them and their kid!
| Kennedy
Yeah sure, whatever works for the kid. But when you’re actively dating and bringing people into your live and routine you have to consider how this looks.
| Kennedy
And this does not look “normal” or “typical” or “usual” or “common”
DetectiveMG
If you’re concerned about the parents relationship with each other you should take that up with your partner. But this seems like a pretty healthy co-parenting situation to me.
JasonJones
Someone pls lmk when the update that e&h have been together this whole time comes out
HildyHateClub
My parents do this! It’s not weird.
| MarinasBurner
Are your parents together?
| HildyHateClub
Usually, yeah
| MommaOcean
What the FeFiFuck does that mean?
| LaundryDayz
I’d ignore this one, seems like a troll u/MarinasBurner
| FlorenceEww
Why is there a “kid” on the co-parent sub?
| HildyHateClub
First, I’m eleven, not a kid. Second, because I’m on my dad’s phone. Duh
| HeyThereDelores
Duh
| AmillionAmelias
“First, I’m eleven,” ok yeah it’s a kid
AriLanaDelGrande
u/MarinasBurner is my new fav troll account. Great plot line!
| MarinasBurner
Thanks I think?
CaptainDad
People parent and co-parent in a variety of different ways. Sometimes what works for a family seems “odd” to others.
| YellllAna
Do you co-parent like this?
| CaptainDad
Pretty similar, now that I think about it, yes.
| MarinasBurner
Seriously?! Wow, finally. Are you together?
| CaptainDad
Well, it’s not an exact match and I’d say my role is more similar to yours, actually. My kid is grown with his own kid so there’s less “co-parenting” there. My wife, though, has two children with her ex who is now also remarried. The four of us do quite a bit of group dinners that seem to be pretty similar to the one you’ve described. I probably would’ve introduced the idea a bit differently, by which I mean introduced it at all. However, it’s really not that wild of a concept, in my opinion.
| MarinasBurner
This is the first comment to actually make me feel better. thanks
| SailorRayne
I can’t believe other people have healthy enough relationships with their exes to do this. Forget about MULtiple groups of you guys.
| FloraKatePlus8
Imagine it’s just one really big, kinda odd, blended family.
| SailorRayne
BAHA and they’re all just gaslighting OP into thinking this is normal