Archive of Our Own ^beta

It had been a long day: Penny’s period started, the Humdrum sent flying neetles to attack Watford, and Penny missed lunch because she had to pick their annoying little pins out of her skin. So all Penelope Bunce wanted to do was relax. But of course, she opened her door to find Trixie and her new girlfriend giggling like the unfortunate victims of a potent love potion. 

Penny shut the door forcefully and sat at her desk. Was it too much to ask to get some peace in her own damn room? “Diplomacy is nearly as important as your studies,” her mother's words rang in her head, and Penelope does try to listen to her mother. So she took a deep breath and did her best to focus on her schoolwork despite the crowded enclosure.  

It’s not that Trixie and Keris were taking up a lot of space. They were sitting on Trixie's bed, mushed against each other as if they’d been put in a vacuumed sealed bag. And they just kept giggling. Penelope wondered if she could add that to the Roommate List of Banned Activities. After all, Trixie had just added a rule about no magickal tomes allowed on the floor between their beds.

Trixie whispered, far too loudly, “I love you,” to Keris. 

Penny rolled her eyes. She needed silence to study, but Trixie didn’t seem to understand that. They’d had that argument far too many times.

She wasn't going to say anything, but Penny felt it was well within her rights to make her feelings known.

Penelope opened her bookbag angrily. She slammed her textbooks on the desk angrily. She flipped to the right page in her notebook angrily. She took the cap off her pen angrily and even clicked it on to the other end of the pen angrily. 

But they didn’t take the hint. The two of them were still flirting, and despite Penelope’s best efforts to ignore the couple, out of the corner of her eye she saw Trixie planting kisses all over Keris’ face. 

Penny wanted to vomit. 

She shook her head, trying to erase the image, and turned her eyes back to her textbook. Penny tried reading the section on spell casting traditions from medieval Britain, but Trixie wouldn’t stop being in love so loudly. 

Penny started over at the top of the page but her head was invaded by what she imagined the couple was murmuring on about.

“Ooo I’m Keris and I’m so… ” okay well, Penelope didn't know Keris that well so she didn't know what she would be saying. But she knew Trixie was probably saying something like:

“Ooo I’m Trixie the Pixie, I’m infuriatingly adorable and unbelievably cheerful!” (Every sentence Trixie uttered ended with an exclamation point.) “I smell like vanilla and cherry blossoms! And wet moss when I cast! My hair is pink now! Don’t you just loveeee it!! It makes me look even cuter! And omg I saw the cuuuuuttest puppy today!! 

We should get a puppy together, Keris! We should get a flat together and get married! I love you sooooo much Keris, even though we just started talking two months ago! I learned a spell to explode the most pink, most sparkly glitter imaginable alllllll over my (shared) bedroom to show you how much I love you!!! And I’m gonna make my roommate clean up the mess! It's not like I could spend time with my roommate who I've known for years instead! It's not like Penelope would want to help me study, or learn new spells, or hold my hand on the way to the classes we share. Or giggle with me on my bed after school. Or kiss me on the Great Lawn, at sunset, when the weather is warm and inviting, and I’d taste so sweet, like that cotton candy lip balm I let Penny borrow in 3rd year. And I’d hold my small hand against her cheek. And when she runs her fingers through my soft hair I’d smile against her lips. 

I’d do everything I could to cherish the moment. To commit the unbelievable feeling to memory. We both want this so badly. I can’t stop. I want Penny to deepen the kiss, and she does. She presses closer and closer to me. I hold her tightly. I can’t let this end, it’s all I’ve ever wanted, not the roommate rules, or the petty insults. I just want us, our lips pressed together and- ”

“Can’t you two love each other anywhere else!?!” Penelope explodes, snapping out of her disturbing daydream. 

Keris blushed and hid her face in the crook of Trixie’s neck. 

“We aren’t breaking any of the rules, Penelope,” Trixie smiled.

Penny let out a deep sigh. Her chair scraped across the wood floor as she stood to add to the Roommate List of Banned Activities they have magicked to the wall between their desks. 

In a neat script she wrote out, No Girlfriends in the Room before triumphantly crossing her arms as Trixie read the wall.

“That’s just homophobic, Penny,” Trixie points out.

“Well-!” Penny attempted to respond but she was at a loss. Hell’s Bells. She faced the list again, but mostly to hide her embarrassment. 

“I’m going to the library, there are fifteen more grimoires I need to bring back and study.”

Penny was very pleased with herself. Not only would more books in the room annoy her roommate, but now she had an excuse to look for fifteen books from the Watford library. 

Trixie only rolled her eyes as Penelope shoved her things back into her bag and rushed out to the hallway.