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Redemption, Jinx soon came to learn, is fucking boring .
Being a good person, a redeemed villain: it was supposed to be dramatic and glorious.
Hell, it was supposed to be a fucking death sentence .
She wasn’t supposed to be alive to see herself redeemed. That was never part of the half-assed almost-plan that led to her taking a hit for the Firelights. It was always about her being dead, out of people’s way, out of their lives for good.
But she was alive, and she wasn’t out of anyone’s life. And somehow they'd come to tolerate her — like her , even. Kindly, with no strings attached. No expectations.
It was wholly disconcerting to be asked to be nothing but there.
Jinx had never been held to such forgiving standards. Not since she was Powder, maybe not ever.
Still, she was redeemed now, sorta. She was a Firelight now too, definitely. It was all kinds of ridiculous and Sevika laughed in her face when Jinx negotiated her terms for backing off.
Soft-hearted , she'd called her.
It wasn't a lie. But Sevika had agreed, anyway, and Jinx knew right away they both hated Shimmer as much as each other. It wasn't hard to weasel in peace for the Firelights after that.
With time, it became less hard to weasel her way into the Firelights' lives — according to Ekko, there were “only so many bullets you could take for someone”. Whatever that meant.
It didn't matter much because she had a trail of gnarly scars across her stomach that made her look cool as hell. More importantly, it made Caitlyn look a bit ill every time she saw them, which was a win in her book.
Point was, she was living a life of peace and good deeds now. Mostly.
Shutting down Shimmer still involved blowing shit up, thankfully.
But otherwise, redemption was a fucking drag .
It was all about chirping out pleasant — because she was pleasant now — greetings to other Firelights and pretending to be annoyed when they teased her for ‘losing her edge’ which she couldn't rebuke because she'd developed a conscience that didn't sound like Mylo taunting her sometime in the years after Silco died.
That might've been because Caitlyn forced her to ‘talk to someone' and ‘drug herself’. Which was also a fucking drag, but made the voices quieter so she pretended she hated it and stuck strictly to the schedule, anyway.
It was also all about stupid shit like getting along with your sister's fiancée even if you both pretended to hate each other and acting like you don't call her ‘big sis’ you're sick and make your actual big sis cry.
Point is, it was a whole fucking thing and it was mind-numbingly dull, but her therapist said that's because she wasn't used to ‘peace’ and ‘happiness’. She hated that it made sense, and she hated that the woman was as competent as she was.
Somehow, her best resort to kill boredom was walking around the Undercity. Prancing around the rooftops. Doing a bit of vigilante shit here and there, as a treat. Taking in a stray dog because Ekko hated dogs and Jinx loved annoying Ekko.
All things considered, she thought, taking on a pet was pretty healthy. At least she thought so. Her standard for health was a bit skewed, though, so she couldn't be quite sure.
She didn't care much anyway — as soon as her eyes landed on the scrawny thing, she knew it was hers. As far as her choices went, this was as well-adjusted as any.
She found him on one of her nightly patrols. These days they were mostly about trying her best to negotiate people on Shimmer into going to the base. She kept saying they could help them, and resisted the urge to gag at her own words because who even was she?
They only listened half the time but she was never the most persuasive Firelight, just the most competent. Probably.
It was a quiet night, which meant she could hear Mylo’s voice in her ear, pestering her. They haven’t forgiven you , he’d snarl, they’re only waiting to turn so they can hurt you the most . Mean, petty shit everyone had proven wouldn’t happen a thousand times over. But why wouldn’t it? You’re not worth keeping around — no amount of good deeds can bring back their dead, you know.
It was the same words she heard every night, cruel and twisted like everything else about her. They’d gotten easier to ignore with time, but it was a quiet night and a quieter patrol with no one else to rib her into ignoring her hallucinations.
So really, seeing the ugly dog cowering behind back allies was a relief. A savior being offered to her asking nothing in return. She should’ve kept patrolling, looking back, but Ekko knew who he was sending when he said she’d go alone tonight so this was his fault more than hers and it didn’t matter anyway because the dog whimpered from below and she couldn’t help herself.
He was skinny and ratty, with wiry, long fur and big black eyes that looked like they were begging for her even as his jaw snapped wildly the whole time. His legs were too long for his big body, and he moved like he was flopping around. He looked like something out of a children's book.
He barked and snapped and cowered, all the while his big moon eyes stared at her like it was all a test.
Jinx was in love with him instantly.
She crouched down, a few feet away from him, feeling sorry for the way it shook. “Hi, baby,” she cooed, “wanna come home with me?”
He just growled, backing further away against the wall. Jinx felt bad for the poor thing. She wanted to go over and pet his gray fur, see if it was soft. She wanted to hug him, and coo at him, and give him a warm place to rest.
It was hard when he looked like she was about to shoot him instead.
But Jinx knew the feeling well. She knew strays and she knew the Undercity.
She pulled out some fancy meat snack Caitlyn had brought for her from Topside and extended her hand out, as far away from her as possible, staying perfectly still. The dog looked at her, shocked, like she was somehow going to trick him. He didn’t move, just shook harder.
Jinx understood. No one gave out favors for free in the Undercity.
But she had nowhere to be all night so she sat and waited.
Patience was something as foreign for her as it was for the mangey mutt in front of her, so she supposed they could at least bond over shared new territory.
Three hours in they bonded about Jinx shooting someone to protect them, instead, as the dog whimpered and cowered behind her. He was too much like her, she decided, fully stepping in front of him — letting him.
“Hey,” she growled, snapping at the newest arrival, a wiry man with a gun and a desperation that could only be reached in the Undercity, walking towards them, swaying and mad, “back off.”
“No can do, sweetheart.
“Why the hell not?” She snapped, fully aiming her gun at him. “I’m asking nicely aren’t I?”
He stilled, and she screamed a bit louder, reminding herself not to lose her composure and doing so anyway. “I said to back. Off.”
She must’ve sounded a bit too desperate, a bit too crazy because he squinted, recognition flashing over him as he grinned. “You’re Silco’s daughter, aren’t you?”
Her mouth went dry.
“No.” She called, mulling over the words. Her tongue felt like lead. It felt new, heavy to deny it; she hadn’t done that in years. “Vander’s girl.”
She hadn’t claimed that title in years. She wondered if he’d deny it, come to see what she’d become.
“Hadn’t heard that name in years,” he muttered. Then, carefully, “I was a friend of Silco’s.”
She knew that wasn’t true — her father didn’t have friends, he had pawns and he had allies. She could tell a pawn when she saw one. She ignored the clamoring bouncing around her skull, blurring the edges of her vision: you were one, you were one, you were one .
She was, but it took a fool to recognize another so she kept her mouth shut and counted her blessings. She couldn’t die here, they wouldn’t know how much glitter she wanted at her funeral.
( They wouldn’t throw you one, Powder already died years ago, she couldn’t tell who was snarling this time, but whoever it was was dancing over her line of sight and she had to resist screaming at it to go away, lest she gave the man an opening.)
Plus, she thought, more urgently, who’s gonna take care of my mutt for me?
Yeah, he’d be shot dead the moment anything happened to her.
She squared up. The real threat was her own shadows, her own voices. This man was nothing. She’d fought stronger people with worse monsters. The dog whimpered behind her and it was easy to steel herself after. This wasn’t about her anymore.
Fucking Ekko and the goddamn Firelights and my stupid sister are making me soft , she thought, ignoring the way Silco reappeared, clamoring about how pathetic she’d become since she betrayed him.
“Stop saying bullshit,” she snapped, “get the hell away from here and I won’t shoot. You have thirty seconds.”
“Why don’t you just shoot now if you want to get rid of me so bad, wench?”
“I’m feeling generous today.” She grinned, in the high, sing-song voice she used when she was having fun. It felt like finding some semblance of her old self.
“Well, so am I so just give me the damn stray and I’ll leave.” His voice shook just slightly towards the end.
He was scared of her , she realized, gleefully, oh, this is gonna be so much fun.
“No can do,” she hummed, “it’s mine.”
He pressed himself against her leg; she grinned.
“Well, it took my food.”
She looked down on him, for a split second moment. “Really? ” she hissed, “that’s so stupid .”
“Yeah, well, you’re trying to take my property now, and I don’t take kindly to that shit.”
“I don’t care,” he insisted, pulling out a shaky pistol we both knew he couldn’t even aim. “I want the thing gone .”
“Well, that’s too damn bad, isn’t it?” Then, in a rare moment of kindness because she truly had gone stupidly soft, “If you’re so hungry go to Jericho’s, tell ‘im Jinx sent you. You get one meal.”
“I said I want the rat gone .”
“And I said no.” One of them was clearly more confident in this fight, but she supposed some people just liked fucking around and finding out. Apparently, he hadn’t learned his lesson under Silco’s rule. “Your time ran out five seconds ago, you know?”
“I’m not scared of some dead man’s bitch.” He hissed, aiming a stupidly bad shot at her as she swayed easily out of its way. A cheap gun for a cheap shot, she supposed.
“Pity.” She smiled and shot the gun right out of his hand. “You should be.”
The man grabbed his hand, watching his fingers gush and bleed, but Jinx knew she was a good enough shot that she’d missed the bone. Probably. The dog started crying and whimpering below her, and Jinx knew that was her cue.
“Come on, leave or your arm’s next.” She drawled, “I have no problem making this as slow as you’d like.”
“ Try me, bitch .” She was starting to see why the man’s was a pawn and not an ally. Stupidity never got you far in the Lanes.
She giggled, bouncing on her feet. “Okay.”
A bullet straight through his shoulder. Jinx just grinned. “Wanna try that again or wanna take me up on my offer?”
“You really are Vander’s girl,” he spat out— like it was an insult, “he was a weak fool too.”
Jinx just giggled harder, sounding more manic by the second. “You really wanna say that to the girl with the gun?”
The third shot grazed his cheek.
She was getting impatient.
The fourth shot was aimed at the sky, but it sent him running, anyway.
“Finally, she groaned, slumping, “that was so annoying.”
The dog barked, and she narrowed her eyes at him. “Why’d you have to go and piss people off, huh?”
The dog just barked again, and Jinx sighed. “Guess I’m not the right person to lecture you.”
He pressed his head against her knee like he agreed, and Jinx couldn’t help but snort. She loved the ugly little thing so much already. She crouched down again, and this time he didn’t back away, just looked at her expectantly.
“Would’ve shot something sooner if I knew it would get you to like me,” she giggled, offering the fancy snacks again.
This time, he took them happily, wagging his skinny tail so fast she thought it’d fall right off. For once, the voices were fully quiet.
“Oh, I can’t wait to take you home with me.”
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆
“Jinx,” Ekko sighed wearily.
“Yes, Ekko?” She grinned, batting her eyelashes. Unfortunately, it only made him look more exhausted. Fair enough, she supposed.
“What the hell is that?”
“It’s my baby.” She proudly declared.
“It’s a mutt.”
“I know!” She exclaimed gleefully, cooing at the ratty thing like it was the best news in the world. “His name’s Mooneyes.”
“Its name is Moon—”
“ His ,” she cut in quickly. “And yes, it’s Mooneyes.”
Ekko went quiet at that. He didn’t rebuke her again. “You age me beyond my years.”
“And yet you took me in.”
“Yeah, well, you were bleeding out and about to die and I couldn’t just say no to Vi’s puppy eyes, who the hell do you take me for?”
“She wasn’t the one who let me stay after that,” she sing-sang, knowing they’d had this conversation a thousand times before, and reveling in it regardless.
“You saved our asses like, all the time over the years after Silco died, okay?” He huffed, crossing his arms the way Jinx knew he only did with her. Scar told her it was because she was the only one who could get deep enough under his skin to revert him to a petulant child. She’d just grinned and said she thought it might be a good thing; he agreed. “There are only so many—”
“Bullets I can take for you, yeah, yeah, I know. But like I didn’t ask you , did I?”
Ekko groaned, looking away, and clicking his tongue like he did when he was annoyed.
Oh, how she loved winning.
“Whatever,” he replied hotly, and wow , she was the only one who could get him to speak like such a child— the thought made her giggle, “that’s not the point .”
Unfortunately, Ekko hadn’t won an argument between them once.
She knew it. He knew it. The entirety of the Firelights knew it, and it was one whole big inside joke that made her feel warm and wanted in the way she craved so deeply, even now at her big girl age of twenty-six.
“You know, someone once told me I can’t bring back the lives I took but I can save the ones that are still here. So like, technically I’m just following a very wise , very hot man’s advice over here and I think—”
As expected, Ekko got flustered and clammy, and couldn’t find much fight in him through his stutter. Jinx cackled. “Okay, fine , he can stay. As long as you take care of him. On a leash.”
“I'm not leashing him ,” she gasped, appalled, "that's topsider shit!”
“Just,” he sighed, “just make sure it doesn't give anyone rabies.”
Her indignation quickly faded. She always had been prone to mood swings, they just came out different now. Self-awareness was a beast. Damn healing.
“Sure thing, boss!” She saluted.
He sighed again and Jinx really couldn’t help her giggles when he looked at her with an almost fond expression, the kind that made her think he still cared about her like he used to, even if she knew it wasn’t true.
The mirth faded at the same time Ekko’s silhouette did.
She sighed, looking down at Mooneyes, peacefully resting his head on her lap like he knew nothing would hurt him as long as she was around. It made her feel like her heart would burst. “It’s been like, five years since I came here, you’d think I’d be over him by now.”
Then, leaning in to sniff him the way Vi did when they were children, some unconscious mother-hen instinct hatching from inside her, the way it always did Vi when she was worried and didn’t wanna think about her actual problems: “ You stink .”
Mooneyes just barked softly at her, like she should’ve known that already. To be fair, she probably should have.
“Okay, well, since I’m a great dog owner and I don’t want Ekko on my ass about lice, it’s bath time!”
‘Bath time’ soon became ‘everyone come meet Jinx’s new dog’ time. She allowed it because she counted it as enrichment time for Mooneyes and someone said how Ekko never let them have any pets and how the favoritism was glaring and flattery would get them everywhere with her.
So, they got a bucket and some vinegar, and the kids scrubbed the fur while the adults warmed the water, and Jinx cleaned his face.
As grime and soot, and dust and blood washed off, the water turned gray, and much to everyone's delight, Mooneyes turned golden . A beautiful light honey color that gleamed under the light, making everyone coo and gasp, as the dog preened proudly under their hands.
All around the little kids, pants soaking wet and faces covered in half-dried grime, were jumping around and just begging Jinx to let them play with her dog. She just laughed, knowing she couldn't have denied them if she wanted to — they were the first to make her feel welcome and remained her greatest joy.
“‘Course I will, my minions.”
The kids shrieked in glee, pulling and hugging her like it was the best thing they'd ever heard. The adults around them just sighed, having long accepted that Jinx was basically the commune’s babysitter now, and being mostly okay with Mooneyes now they'd made sure he was lice-free.
“Okay, okay,” she straightened, as Mooneyes shook the water off himself much to the adults’ simultaneous glee and dismay, “gather round, my little terrorists.”
“ Jinx, ” a woman called, sounding more amused than angry, “what did we say about calling the children that?”
She huffed, the same pretend annoyance in her voice as the woman’s; they both knew she’d go back to it five minutes later. “Okay, my little monkeys,” then, turning around, “that sound better to ya, Em?”
Em just laughed, shaking her head. “Just make sure they’re in the dining room for lunch.”
“Okay, my little monkey terrorists,” she repeated, giving them a minute to gather, and for the older kids to wrangle the younger ones, “you have a very important mission today.”
“We do?” Gray gasped standing right in front of her.
“You do.” She nodded seriously. “Go show Ekko our new pet, okay? And I give you free license to be as annoying as possible.”
Another little boy, newer to the commune, orphaned, Noah , clapped his hands in delight. He’d been a little troublemaker from the moment he realized Jinx hadn’t been kicked out yet for a far bigger ruckus than he ever could. She adored him. “As annoying as possible?!”
“Yes!” She grinned, pulling out a small bag she’d grabbed for exactly this moment off her belt. “Here, have some glitter bombs. Go wild. Be free. Have fun”
Then, as an afterthought, bombs already being passed out she added, “Just be at the dining room in time for lunch, and don’t get anyone hurt, okay?”
They all saluted at once, barely able to contain their giggles, and soon, they were running off, screeching and tripping over each other in their joy, new dog in tow.
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆
The consequences of her actions (another cool new concept when you were mature ) came to bite her a little after lunch had started.
Jinx was sitting with her friends on one of the big dining tables (she had friends now, which she didn't think she'd ever get used to, even years into it). They were talking about science of all things, and Jinx thanked her lucky stars for the thousandth time in the last decade. No one used to understand her science talk before them, much less want to understand — it was only ever Ekko.
It was then, right in the middle of a rant about the inner workings of some cog or another when they all went silent, and covered their mouths, clearly trying very hard not to laugh.
Ekko had stormed in behind me, mostly covered in pink and green glitter down to the tips of his hair.
“Jinx.” He growled.
The people behind her started to choke.
“Ekko!” She greeted. “They grow up so fast, don’t they?”
“We’re not children pranking each other anymore, Jinx.”
“No, they’re children pranking you .” She beamed.
Back when she was a kid, Vi used to tell her that little boys pulled on little girls’ pigtails to get their attention.
It means they have a crush on you .
She wondered if that was what she was doing. Fully grown. A twenty-six-year-old woman. Pulling on her crush's pigtails, of all things. The thought made her giggle, the manic laugh she was stuck with that always made her sound a bit insane.
It was probably some ‘making up for lost time’ bullshit if her therapist had a say. Which she didn't . She was going to be immature about this in peace. Meaning pulling on Ekko’s pigtails and letting herself pretend he enjoyed it as much as she did. At least the other Firelights did if no one else.
“Don’t laugh at me!” Ekko spluttered, looking every bit as young as he’d never got a real chance to be.
At that, her friends started openly cracking up. Most of them were Ekko’s friends too so it was probably fine.
She smiled at them, knowing they could see the awful blush spreading across her face.
They were howling with laughter.
She was smiling an awful lot these days.
“Are you trying to make my life harder?”
“Hm,” she pretended to think, looking away, “more like trying to make the kids have fun with Mooneyes.”
At the mention of his name, the dog came flopping back to her side, head on her thigh, and saucer-wide eyes staring up at her adoringly. He was so stupid . She was obsessed with him.
“It worked, by the way. He’s a great addition, already!”
“I will admit he’s a pretty dog.” He grumbled.
“I know! He’s the most beautiful mutt in the whole wide world, aren’t you boy?” She giggled down at the dog in her lap. “Anyway, it worked great, the kids got to run and play and scream and pull all the stunts their little legs need so they’re gonna be knocked out at nap time. And probably bedtime too.”
“When the hell did you become good with kids ?”
“You did say I’m a child.”
“I didn’t say— Wait no! I’m still covered in fucking glitter !”
“ Non-toxic glitter.” Jinx corrected. “And you know I’d have no problem helping you take it off —” She wiggled her eyebrows salaciously, cackling at how he looked like he was having a stroke.
“I should’ve kicked you and your mutt out five years ago.” He groaned, which Jinx thought was a bit dramatic but she wasn’t exactly in a place to judge anyone else’s melodrama.
“Unfortunately my sweet baby boy is a new addition, Ekko.”
She was barely finished talking before he turned away with a wave. “Have a nice lunch, Jinx.”
“You too, wonder boy!”
These days, it sounded affectionate.
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆
Life went on with the Firelights. Ekko hated Mooneyes. Jinx loved him. The kids loved them both. Their friends kept making fun of them. There were more missions and more voices when she was stressed.
But life went on, and life was good— or at least, it was the best it ever had been. Which was pretty damn good these days.
And because life was good, her sisters were visiting, and Jinx was vibrating out of her skin in excitement. Mooneyes must’ve sensed it off her because he, too, was prancing and wagging his tail, and rolling around the grass with his big, goofy dog smile and his huge, sweet eyes.
They were both rolling and tumbling around in the grass when Vi finally made an appearance. She was gleefully wresting her big, wiry dog, as he jumped back on his long legs and big paws, looking so happy and filled out she couldn’t believe it was the same dog she’d rescued weeks ago.
“Is that a dog ?”
“Since when do the Firelights own a pet? I thought they were posed as an allergen risk ? ”
Their voices made her perk up instantly, jumping on her feet and running straight towards them at full speed.
“Sis!” She called, not caring about the way she knew she was acting like a child. It was only so often Vi and Cait came to visit, and Jinx had been humiliated out of her pride like ten years ago, anyway.
She practically leaped into her sister’s arms, as soon as she was in what the others had taken to calling ‘Jinx missile range’.
Vi laughed, holding onto her lower back and pulling her in close. “I missed you.”
“It’s been like a month.”
“Still missed you.”
“Ugh, you’re so cheesy.” She whined, pulling away. “I missed you too.”
Then, turning, her grin even wider. “Hi, demon.”
Caitlyn huffed, pulling her in by her shoulders. “Hello, Jinx.”
She nuzzled into her embrace, and she didn’t say I miss you, come visit more often even if that’s what she was thinking; instead, she grinned, and announced her news.
“I got a puppy!”
Vi snorted, it was exactly the type of thing she’d expect from her sister. “You mean you took in a stray?”
“Yeah, that’s what I said!”
“Weren’t they a liability? I can’t imagine Ekko would be pleased.”
“Yeah, what’d Little Man say?”
“Oh, all kinds of things!” She guffawed, “mainly about how I age him and this is so tiring and why did I take you and the mutt in — You know how he gets when he’s grumpy.” She giggles.
Jinx didn’t know much these days; she didn’t know if she could trust her own brain, she didn’t know how to do enough good to make up for all the bad she put out, and she still didn’t know how to braid her hair because that was always her best excuse to be close to people.
But Jinx knew Ekko.
No matter how many years passed, no matter how much shit she pulled, and no matter how much he pushed her away.
Jinx would always know Ekko.
She knew him like the palm of her hand. She knew when something genuinely bothered him, he knew what every feeling looked like on his face, how he wore everything he’d ever been through. She knew what buttons to push and which to avoid— Mooneyes was definitely growing on him.
Like mold , he’d huffed once, but Jinx knew that just meant he loved him but couldn’t admit to losing to her again .
“That poor kid,” Vi shook her head fondly, “you are such a little minx.”
“I’m twenty-six!” Jinx laughed. “He’s twenty-five. We’re hardly ‘little’ anythings. Also, that’s a rich person insult.”
“I am still five years older. And not it fucking wasn’t, who do you take me for?”
Caitlyn leaned in, kissing her fiancée’s temple because they were disgusting and way too comfortable with the idea that Jinx was okay with their relationship now. “Darling, I fear it is a bit of a prissy word.”
Vi turned around, looking at Caitlyn like she’d just stabbed her. “I can’t believe I’m marrying you.”
“Do you want to meet my puppy or not?”
“Can it be called a puppy if it almost reaches past your hips?”
“Yes, Caitlyn,” Jinx sniffed, “he can, are topsiders incapable of love too or something?”
At that, Caitlyn barked out a laugh, trailing behind her easily.
“ This ,” she beamed, crouching down next to the dog, and wrapping it into a hug, “is Mooneyes.”
He barked, wagging his tail like he could tell how much Jinx loved the women in front of them.
Caitlyn, predictably, was instantly bought.
“Oh, it's just the most precious thing.” She gasped, crouching down at his eye level. “Vi, can we please get a dog? Please, oh, we just must , Violet.”
Vi just laughed, but the lovestruck look on her face made Jinx worried the next time she saw them, it would be with a puppy bouncing on their heels. “We can talk about that later, Cupcake.”
“That's not a no.” Jinx sang, mostly just to tease her sister.
“Yeah, yeah, I've gone soft on you two’s bullshit, we get it.”
Then, because her sister did have a soul, she also kneeled to say hi to her poor dog. “How'd you get him?”
“Found him in an alley,” she hummed, “some guy was trying to shoot him.”
Vi sighed, and Jinx heard the lecture even if it never came. Being close to her sister was so unfortunate sometimes.
“Aw, don't give me that look, sis. It's okay, Vander told me we found you in an alley too! And that turned out fine, didn't it?”
“I will steal your dog, don't test me—”
“Okay,” Caitlyn cut in cheerily, “I for one, am far too hungry for your antics.”
“Ugh,” Jinx wrinkled her nose, “you sound like such a topsider.”
“Jinx, I fear I have horrible news—”
“Nope!” Jinx interrupted. “No! Nu-uh, you're a Firelight when we're down here, I don't wanna hear it. Let's go to dinner.”
Both of her sisters trailed behind her and Mooneyes after that, easily letting her lead the way. It smelled like bacon so it was a fancy night. She grinned, glad to have something fatty and filling. She hoped they'd gotten their hands on some beef.
Fortunately for her, they had.
Unfortunately, she could not, in fact, ever get a win.
There was screaming coming from the dining room, someone she didn't recognize. She could tell by the looks on their faces that her sisters didn't recognize it either.
She frowned, picking up the pace. It wasn't unusual to have new faces around, be they there to stay or just seeking temporary help or shelter. What was unusual was the otherwise silence in the dining room. All she could hear was clattering and screaming.
It was a man. Big and tall, and definitely trying to get off shimmer.
He was screaming, and cursing, and trying to throw things.
“Why the fuck am I being led by the same man that let Silco run free for years, huh? You’ve got more blood on your hands than he does.” He snarled, shoving someone. “ Useless .”
“Hey,” Vi asked, putting an arm on her sister’s shoulder, clearly trying to reel her in. “Calm down. What’s going on?”
In other circumstances, Jinx would let her. She’d lean into her sister’s touch, and let Caitlyn or Vi or literally anyone else handle this.
“Fucking spineless pretty boy is what you are. Couldn’t kill the guy when you should’ve, trying to make amends now ? I should’ve known coming here was a bad idea.”
The man was new, and angry, and scared, and hurt . He clearly didn't know the rules and he clearly didn't know what to do with that. He lashed out— that was okay. That was normal. Jinx lashed out too; all the time.
But he lashed out at Ekko.
In public.
In front of everyone .
“Hey,” she snapped, pushing Vi’s hand off her, and shoving herself in front of Ekko, “what the hell's your damage?”
Mooneyes quickly followed, putting himself in front of Jinx defensively.
“What's it to ya?” He growled. “You his girlfriend or something?”
“I really don't think you wanna find out who I am.” She growled, flashing her teeth at him.
No one was concerned about the threat, the action, or anything about her, really. Not anymore. The most she could hear was a couple of whispers about how she should've answered the real question and admitted they were dating already. It was a little funny.
Still, Firelights or not, they were from the Undercity, and it was impossible to diffuse an argument if neither of the parties was at least a bit scared of you.
The man seemed to back down a bit— whether it was the purple irises or what the people who'd been around for a while called ‘the feral look in her eyes’ didn’t matter; she still had it.
Good. She didn't have the patience for this shit today.
“Not like you could do much,” he muttered, crossing his arms and puffing his chest like Jinx hadn't taken out men three times his size.
She reminded herself to breathe, told herself her anger would never be more useful than her wits, and tried to remember what she needed to hear when she was like this.
She snorted, crossing her arms and forcing her shoulders to relax. There were shadows and crosses draping themselves over the man, her vision was blurring.
“Oh, please, cut the crap. I know a scaredy-cat when I see one.” She grinned.
Mooneyes pressed against her. Instinctively, her hand went to his fur. He growled at the man in front of her. It was grounding, all of it.
“And you look so easy to play with,” she giggled, “I do miss my playdates. Being good is no fun. The old Jinx was so much more fun to be.”
At that, the man looked stunned. Suddenly, cowardice took over his face. Clear as day. She wished she still derived any kind of pleasure in it. She didn't. Everyone in the dining room could tell but him.
“I told you you didn't wanna know.” She sang, giggling all the while. “They still allow me around explosives, you know.”
The man seemed to fully back down after that; she was glad it didn't escalate.
“Okay so we have two options, okay?
He swallowed.
“ Two ,” she repeated, holding up her fingers, “options. Number one, you sit down, you eat your food, you let the Firelights help you. Number two, you go to your room, you cool off, and you try again later. Or tomorrow. I don't give a fuck. I literally took years. We got nothing but time.”
He nodded, looking a bit dazed. A bit of firmness and clear-cut instruction, Jinx found, went a long way. She might've taken it a bit far this time but by everyone's relieved faces, she could safely assume no one minded that much. Served him right.
“Notice,” she added, batting her eyelashes, “how using our leader as a punching bag isn't one of them?”
He was smart enough to not answer that.
“Me too!” She agreed cheerfully. “Good thing we're on the same page— You should come say hi sometimes when you're not being an ass. I'm usually real nice, promise.”
She did feel a little bad. She didn't like being on bad terms with the other people living there, but her reputation was beneath Ekko; between him and her useless image, he'd win every time. Those kinds of idiocies were topsider worries, anyway.
“Okay,” she shooed, “off you go now.”
Mooneyes didn't relax until he was out of their line of sight.
Jinx turns to Ekko, lowering her voice and shooting a withering glare at everyone still looking their way. The last thing he needed was another scene. His head was down and he was shuffling his feet, refusing to look at her.
“Hey, I’m, um, I’m sorry for stepping in like that. I know you don’t need my protection or whatever.” Suddenly her tongue felt heavy and the words twisted into knots in her mouth.
(Mylo’s voice and Claggor’s laughter were echoing in her ear again, she wondered if she’d ever shake them off fully. If that would always be how she remembered her brothers.
Ekko wouldn’t want you to defend him. What the fuck were you thinking? You went off the rails again . Remember what happened the last time you did that? You’re bad luck and a bad person. Everybody knows.
She shook her head, breathing slowly.)
“I kinda flew off the handle. I got pissed when I saw him shoving you. I’m sorry if I should’ve stayed out of it.”
He shook his head. “It’s fine Jinx. Thanks.”
She wondered if she could reach out. She wondered if he’d want her to.
(Who would want you to? A smirk. No one, no one, no one).
Instead, she nodded firmly, trying to keep her voice even. “You’re a good leader, Ekko. You’ve always done good by us.”
“Yeah,” he shuddered, sounding a bit choked, “yeah, I, uh, I’ll see you later.”
She sighed, letting him leave. He always took those years way too personally. She wondered if she, or anyone, would ever convince him that he did his best. That his best was good . That it was the best of a guileless child who did nothing but save his people.
She’d give him his space, try not to dwell on the blood on her own hands, and find him later. Wallowing in her guilt didn’t do anything for anyone but herself. It’s not what the Firelights’ wanted, it’s not what Ekko wanted— and yet, he couldn’t help but scrub his own skin raw, trying to wipe off red stains that were never there.
Mooneyes looked up to her with pleading eyes. Her lips quirked.
“Come on,” she nodded, “go.”
The dog barked softly and turned around to chase after Ekko.
It made her feel a little lighter as she made her way back to her sisters.
“Is everything okay, Jinx?”
“Yeah, Cupcake,” Jinx teased because she’d never be above making fun of Caitlyn, “it’ll be fine.”
Vi put an arm around her, anyway, and Jinx found herself leaning into her sister’s embrace gratefully. She thought it’d never stop being her biggest source of comfort.
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆
She found Ekko after dinner, down by the tree, right below her room. She snorted, noticing the way he was carefully hunched into Mooneyes. Walking up to them felt like having a little family of her own.
“Hi, boy savior, you want me to give you a moment with him or…?” She giggled, carefully pointing one of her sharp nails towards their awkward hugging position.
He didn't look at her. Jinx tried not to worry too much about it.
“I want your damn mutt to leave me alone.”
(Mylo’s ghost recognized her stress like a hawk did its prey. You’re no better than a mangy mutt, he’s asking you to leave, he’s asking you to leave, he hates you, he hates you, he —)
Jinx just raised an eyebrow in the judgemental, rich way Caitlyn had taught her, wondering if she was allowed to point out how he was latching onto the aforementioned mutt’s fur like he’d die if he let go of it. “Are you stupid or do you think I’m stupid?”
“Okay, fine I like your dumb dog.”
She softened, feeling her shoulders sag slightly, he never gave up that easily; not with her, usually not with anyone. He always had that effect on her. She used to think it was disgusting.
(There was a new voice in her head telling her how it was, how he’d never want to touch her . How she wasn’t allowed to want. Jinx, jinx, jinx, it chanted, mocking and relentless until she had to remind herself to breathe).
“He likes you too.”
He looked at her like she’d said something else entirely. “Really?”
“No, I was lying to kick you while you’re down.”
“You’re insufferable.”
Her lips twitched slightly; she walked up to him fully. Mooneyes was still in that tense, defensive stance, his snout was curled into a nasty sneer. She’d never thought there could be this much love in her life. Suddenly, he couldn’t hear much past the other Firelights’ quiet night routines.
“Someone's in a mood.”
He still didn't move, and now Jinx was sure he hadn't gotten over whatever else the man in the dining room had said.
She wanted to punch his lights out. Or blow him up. The second was more her style but she'd be willing to settle for either because no one was allowed to talk to her family that way.
But Ekko was a goody-two-shoes, even now, so instead, she held out her hand slowly, like she was trying to avoid startling a wild animal. She didn't want him to feel caged. How times had changed.
“Come on,” she whispered, “you’re gonna catch a stray out here.”
“Yeah, well, I have been getting a lot of those these days.”
“Ooh,” she snickered, pulling him up, “you’ve gotten meaner with age.”
“And you’ve gotten softer.”
He sounded tired in a different way. Jinx knew Ekko. She knew when he needed to rest.
Her room was the closest so they ended up there, curled against the wall on the too-thin mattress like they were kids again. Mooneyes followed, back to Ekko, lying down but alert. The poor thing looked exhausted. She carded his hair with one hand. He was a good dog.
“I guess I have gone soft, haven’t I?”
“Definitely.”
She sighed, fond. “This is your fault, wonder boy.”
He looked back at her, open and earnest and vulnerable. “Yeah?”
Unsure — he looked unsure; like she’d still say no. It made her heart clench.
Her voice turned gentle. It was gross how soft he made her. “Yeah. C’mere.”
She wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and pulled him in, rubbing small circles on his back, wondering how he carried all that tension. As expected, she could hear him sniffling as soon as his head touched her shoulder.
“You’ve always been such a crybaby.” It sounded tender.
“Shut up,” he hiccuped.
“Okay.”
He hugged her tighter by the waist like he was trying to disappear into her, and Jinx just kept rubbing small circles against his back, shushing him when he got too loud or his breath too short.
Eventually, the fight drained out of him, and he felt boneless against her. She couldn’t explain everything swirling inside her chest at the way he was trusting her, relying on her. It made her want to cry.
Jinx would do anything for him.
She was glad to just hold him.
She didn’t say anything. She’d waited this long, she could wait a bit longer. She let Ekko fall asleep against her shoulder, feeling her heart burst with protectiveness. Mooneyes had also fallen asleep, still curled protectively around Ekko’s figure. It made Jinx feel at peace in a way she hadn’t since Vander died.
She thought maybe Ekko had a thing for strays too.