Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Five is curled up in the chair next to him, so still Sam might think she’s asleep, except the mug of tea in her hand is perfectly level.  Sam refocuses on the camera images in front of him, yup, Runner 4 is still on track to hit the drug store, her way miraculously clear of zoms.  Some supply runs do go exactly as planned.

He inches closer to the not-sleeping Five.  He wishes she’d get some actual rest; she’s more tired than Maxine, Paula and himself these days, and they had a baby keeping them up.  She’s worried, they all are about everyone they left behind in Abel.  But her insomnia hadn’t started when she arrived at Noah Base; this was something new. Five tossed and turned every night this week.  And last night, he’d woken up twice to find her side of the bed completely empty. It wasn’t until hours later that he felt the mattress gently decompressing beside him, signaling her return.

Suddenly, Five speaks, eyes remaining closed.  “If you’re going to say something Sam, just say it.  You’ve been hovering for the last five minutes.”

How are you? He wants to say.  What do you think about on your nighttime walks when you should be sleeping beside me?

Sam glances back to the screen where Jody is just entering the drug store. Beside him, Five’s eyes blink open, watching him expectingly.  

“I watch you a lot, Five.” Sam says, mentally cringing as the words left his mouth.  Something about Five unbalances him, causing his words to take a life of their own.  Why can’t he just ask her how she is?

“That makes you sound like a hide-in-the-bushes stalker, Sam.”  Five wrinkles her nose, and then gently kisses his cheek as if to tell him she didn’t really mean it. 

“But it’s true.  I do watch you on cams a lot. But in a non-stalker, just doing my job sort of way?”

Five’s expression grows pensive.  “Is that really what you think?  That watching is all you do?”  Sam nods. He’s known a long time who the real hero is among them.

“I think I prefer the phrase ‘look out for me?’ You’re in my ear, telling me about the threats. Saved my life a hundred times over,” She says, starting at him seriously, all traces of teasing gone.  “You’re not just watching Sam, we’re a team.”

“Are we, though?  A team?” Sam asks.  Five winces, and he softens his tone, reminding himself that he’s concerned, not accusing Five of anything.  “Something’s bothering you, Five. You’re not sleeping.  You haven’t been acting yourself when you’re awake either- I’ve noticed your zoning out of conversations. I don’t understand it, but I want to.”

Her face goes white.  Was it that bad?  She stands up, and he opens his arms, but she reaches past him to the microphone.

 “Jody," Five says urgently.  "There’s a pack of six, no sorry, eight zombies to your 10 o’ clock. They’re coming up fast on the side entrance to the drug store, and there’s a few shamblers outside the main entrance.”

The next fourteen minutes are a blur of activity.  Sam directs Jody to the cargo loading dock behind the store where the runner could slip out.  Runner Four makes it out easily but hadn’t completely lost the pack from the drug store and is in danger of picking up some to the west.  Sam refuses to take his eyes off the cams; he’s normally so focused with runners in the field, except when he’s concerned about Five.  Five stays by his side, gripping his hand tightly while offering words of encouragement to the anxious Jody. 

When Jody finally stumbles back into Noah base's lift, Five lets his hand fall back on the desk. 

“I should go help her get the supplies in and make sure she’s okay.” 

“Five.  Five, wait, how are you…”

But she is gone.  As usual, Five only worried about others, and Sam had no idea what was going on with her. 

Five has a rest break this afternoon.  Sam could corner her then and make her talk about her feelings for a change.  But Janine gets to her first, ordering her to go on a mission to rescue Kefilwe from Abel. It’s urgent, and Janine wants her ready by the lift in five minutes. 

He has only a few moments to talk to her in their room as she pulls off her jeans and his orange sweatshirt that was several sizes too big for her, exchanging them for a form-fitting t-shirt and running leggings.  

“Five?” Sam says quickly.  “I know this is supposed to be a quick in and out to Abel but I--I have a bad feeling about this.  Don’t you think there are some holes in this plan? What if the Ministry guards notice you in the transport? And won’t they notice Kefilwe is out of the cells once you rescue her?”

Five’s face changes then. Her jaw was set in that determined expression she wears when she’s about to argue with him, but then all of the sudden, it goes slack.  He reaches out an arm to stabilize her and then thinks better of it, Five doesn’t like to be touched when she gets like this. Her eyes dart side to side like she’s looking for something Sam can’t see.  Sam thought he knew all of Five’s expressions, but he's never been able to read this one. 

“Five? Are you… are you ok?”

Five shakes her head, looking slightly dazed. She keeps her eyes closed.  “Sorry, I just… was thinking about how worried I am about Bots. I can’t do nothing while she’s suffering.  I’m going to Abel.”   

“Five, you can’t go, not like this,” Sam pleads.  “You aren’t acting like yourself.”

Five glares, and Sam’s almost glad, for that expression is at least one he understands.  “You think I can’t do my job?  I’m fine.”

Sam shakes his head.  “That’s not what I was implying, and you know it.”  He attempts to match Five’s fierce expression, but he’s always had trouble being angry with Five.  And he’s not angry now, Sam realizes.  Just so worried that she’s about to do something heroically reckless, as usual.

“Please don’t go, Five, “ he says quietly. “I think… this is what I meant when I said that I only watch. I watch you decide to do things that risk your life, and I have no say in them.  I’m nervous that you’re going to go into Abel and won’t come back.”

Five’s not glaring anymore, but looks no less determined.  He’s already lost this argument.  “Then don’t just watch, Sam, “ Five says. “Bring me home to you.”

 Five kisses him for a long moment and grabs her headset before heading out.  The intensity of the kiss scares him. It wasn’t the quick ‘bye Sam, be home soon’ kiss.  This one was deep, as if she was trying to memorize the way his mouth moves under hers.  It wasn’t goodbye though; she’d be back.  Runner Five always came back. 

You’re in my ear, telling me about the threats. Saved my life a hundred times over.  You’re not just watching Sam, we’re a team.

At the time, her words had done more than just soothe his nerves, she made him feel important, needed.  Runner Five shoots bad guys from the sky with rocket launchers and outruns everything from bandits to V-type zoms.    Sam’s job as her ‘look-out’ gives him a small piece of the action, and more importantly, keeps her safe.

Then Five went radio silent into Abel, where he has no camera views one her.  All part of the plan.

The transport left Abel without Five or Kefilwe.  Definitely not part of the plan.

After some increasingly frantic reconnaissance from Paula, and conversations between Janine and Tom so fast-paced that Sam could barely process, Janine concludes grimly that Five must have been captured by Sigrid.

“You can step away from the coms, Mr. Yao.” Janine says gently.   “There is nothing more to be done, not tonight.”

But Sam can’t look away from the empty camera feeds around Abel Township.  His voice is not in Five’s ear, and he has no way of looking out for her. He can’t even watch, let alone help her right now.   He rounds on Janine. 

“So that’s it then? We’re just giving up on her, just like that?”

Janine bristles.  “I hardly need remind you, most of Abel’s residents are imprisoned under Mr. Golightly’s control.  We have been unable to form a plan to rescue them thus far.  Therefore, we do not have one to rescue Runner Five either.” 

He slumps in his chair, eyes never leaving the empty camera screen.  “Yeah, I—I know.”   He’s not mad at Janine, not really.  He’s the one who broke his promise to bring Runner Five home. 

Janine places a hand on his shoulder.  “Just because we do not have a plan at present, does not mean we will never have one.  We are simply waiting for the right opportunity to present itself. And then, we will ensure Runner Five returns safely.”

“I know that, but I… I just need to sit here a little while longer. Just In case,”  Sam says. And with one last squeeze of his shoulder, Janine leaves him be.

Chapter Text

Janine comes up with a plan by the next morning.  Unfortunately, it’s not one that Sam likes much.

He reads over Janine’s script about the trapped girl guides for a third time. “You sure you want to record this, Janine?”

She nods from her seat at the comms station, and gestures to the empty seat beside her. Sam remains on his feet, and says, “There’s enough propaganda about Abel already; you’re going to record yourself saying that children are expendable in wartime?”

“Let me remind you that no children will be harmed in the making of this tape, Mr. Yao,” Janine says, taping her fingers against the broadcasting equipment as if itching to turn it on. Instead, she sinks back further in her chair. 

 “I know, Janine, I know that you would never actually harm children, but…”

“You know that. But we place this tape in the prime minister’s hands and she’ll use at as proof that she has the moral high ground,” Janine says, her eyes shining with an intense excitement that Sam’s come to associate with her more elaborate plans. She leans towards Sam, “She can use it to convince Runner Five to turn against us.  That is the only way to keep Five safe and get her into a position to defend the Abel labs.  I will give this tape to Mr. Sissay-“

“You’ve been in contact with Steve?” Sam interrupts, placing the script down on the desk. “Have you asked him how Five is?”

“I have not spoken to Mr. Sissay directly, Janine says, “But we have managed to pass coded messages and the occasional item through dead drops. I will include this tape for him in the scheduled dead drop in four hours time.  He’ll appreciate having something of value to show to the minister.  With any luck, this tape will be a boon to both Runner Five and Mr. Sissay.”

Sam takes a deep breath. “What about Five? She’s going to hear this tape too.”

“I believe Runner Five knows what kind of people we are,” Janine says, tone softer now.  “Her allegiance will not be easily swayed by this tape, but hopefully she will act as if the minister has convinced her.”

Sam frowns.  He was the kind of person who led his girlfriend straight to a trap.  He mounted no rescue mission even as she was held by the person who started the literal apocalypse.  The ‘evil versions’ of Sam and Janine on this tape didn’t feel too different than who they were in real life.

“But you believe this will protect Runner Five?”  Sam asks.

“I do.”  Janine says.  “It’s our best chance.” 

“Alright, then.” Sam sits beside Janine and takes one last look at the script. “I believe you have the first line; you can start whenever you’re ready, Janine.” 

After recording the fake radio transmission, there is nothing left for him to do except just sit in the comms room at Noah Base.   Every once in a while, he gets the brief distraction as operator- a supply  run with Peter, a few reconnaissance missions with Jody and Tom.    There is no new information on Runner Five. 

As the days pass, Paula brings him meals and snacks at regular intervals.  Maxine reminds him to sleep, first as his doctor, then begs him as his friend, and finally scolds him as a coparent of Sara (which convinces him to sleep a few hours a night).  But he doesn’t sleep well; he never does when Five’s away. Sam has too much bed, while Runner Five is probably sleeping on a dirt cell floor in a place that used to be their home. 

So Sam spends his nights as he spends the days, staring at the comms screen closest to Abel.  Five could attempt an escape at any point and he has to be there.

When Five does show up on cams five days later, she has crisscrossed bruises snaking up her arms. She is running alongside Sigrid and Steve, and his heart sinks in his chest. Not escaping then. 

“This is excellent, don’t you see what she’s doing, Mr. Yao?” Janine says beside him, grinning.  He’d called her to come see the moment Five had appeared on cams outside of Abel.  But seeing her expression of glee, he wishes he didn’t. Janine clasps her hands together.

 “Runner Five is infiltrating in order to gain the Minister’s trust! This will allow Five to activate the additional security measures as discussed.” 

“Don’t you see what Sigrid’s doing to her?” Sam asks shaking his head in disbelief.  “They’ve hurt her, and she’s stuck there and we can’t do anything about it.”  Five probably thought that they’d given up on her.  Maybe she’d listened to the tape he and Janine made, and hoped they’d given up on her.

“It is true, we cannot do anything yet.  You are forbidden from attempting to contact Runner Five; she must focus on her assignment.  Do not give me that look, Mr. Yao.  Runner Five knew the dangers this assignment entailed.  Contact from Noah Base would only endanger her further.”

He knows this, of course he does.  It’s just that his talking typically keeps Runner Five safe. It is much harder protecting Runner Five with his silence. 

She’s not running with Sigrid or Ian today.  They’re not on her comms either, he knows from the way she’s running. He told Five once that he could recognize his runners by their footfalls, but for Five, he can tell more than that.  Sam knows when Ian’s on her comms during supply runs.  Her gait is just as fast, as even, but her steps fall heavier on the ground, her posture slumped.

Today, he’d guess that Nadia, Owen or Cameo is her comms operator.  Her gait has a bounciness to it, like someone’s put helium in her trainers.  She’s smiling at her running partner, Veronica. She hasn’t smiled like that since before her insomnia started back at Noah Base.  Sam can almost hear her rhythmic breathing over his headset that matches the steady cadence of her gait. 

But with Runner Five, the peaceful moments on runs never last.  He can tell where they’re going quickly, the direction they’re heading is devoid of major settlements except for…except for Battenbury.

He wants to tell her to turn back, the air isn’t safe to breathe.  And does she know the very ground of the city is unstable? He can’t stop himself from shouting unheard warnings when blistered, oozing zombies with bubonic plague approach her from behind. 

Or from grabbing Janine’s hand when the walls of the building of the building collapse around her.  Surprisingly, Janine doesn’t pull away. 

“She will get through this, Mr. Yao.  But you don’t have to watch. You aren’t her operator at present.”

“I know I’m not.  But I can still look out for her anyway.”

Chapter Text

Sam watches Five and Veronica head back to Abel from Battenbury.  Normally this was the best part of Five’s run, danger successfully evaded, and she’d be coming home safely to him.  Only Abel isn't home right now.  He won’t be with her any time soon.  And she isn’t going to be safe. 

Beside him, Janine makes a ‘hmmm’ sound.  Sam glances frantically at the screens, wondering if there was a pack of zombies in the runners’ path that he missed. But he sees nothing remarkable on the cameras.

“What’s wrong, Janine?”

Janine types an unintelligible string of code on the computer screen. “Why do you believe something’s wrong, Mr. Yao?”

“You’re ‘hmming.’  You only ‘hmmm’ when something is wrong.”

“That is categorically false.  This is a sound that I make while I think.  Nothing’s wrong, Just… unusual.” Janine says, still typing furiously.  

“Janine," Sam says, trying to summon the last of his patience, but it's hard on this little sleep. "Are you going to tell me what’s going on or not?”

The screen in front of her is flashing as Janine quickly switches between different windows. 

“I am trying to figure that out at present. There is an unknown signal coming from the transmission station there.”  Janine brings up a screen with a map of all the cameras and points to the cam Five and Veronica have just passed.  “That feed should only transmit the camera images, but something else is piggybacking on the signal.  I’m attempting to isolate the anomaly.  I believe I almost got it.”  She switches back to a control screen for the camera feed and scanned the lines of code quickly. “Yes, that’s it. It appears to be a text transmission. Bringing it up now.”

Sam peers over at her monitor.  It was repeating a sentence on endless loop.

I know you’re here.  I know you’re here.  I know you’re here.  I know…

“Well, that’s creepy.” Sam says, wrinkling his nose. “Do you think someone is tracking us and knows where Noah Base is?  Are they watching us right now?”

“I suspect not,” Janine says, staring at the repeating message as if she could will it into giving her new information.   “At present, we are not transmitting out, so there should be no way to track our location.  I believe someone is guessing that we would be monitoring Five on the cams. Perhaps an ally trying to establish contact?  Or an enemy attempting to lure us into a trap?”

“Well, if we don’t respond to it, we’ll never know, will we?”  Sam says, and grabs the keyboard.  If there was any chance that this was an ally trying to help Five, they have to take it.

“Mr. Yao, I hardly think that is wise….”

But he had already typed a message back. 

You are right, we are here. 

“See it’s fine, I won’t give anything away.”  Sam says.  But before Janine could rebuke him, the repeating message stops and is replaced by a single line of text.

Runner 38 here, who are you?

Janine stiffens.  “Runner 38, perhaps a New Canton runner?  Or someone pretending to be a New Canton runner? We should not respond; we cannot let anyone from New Canton know our identities and compromise Noah Base.”

The message disappears quickly, but Sam already memorized it.  That number has been in his brain for years, after all.  “It’s not a New Canton runner,” Sam says, already typing back.

Janine lunges at him, trying to get the keyboard, but Sam blocks her with his left arm as he continues typing with his right hand.

“Mr. Yao!  Stop this at once! We cannot reveal ourselves!”

Sam finishes typing and lets his arm fall.  “I’m not saying my name or giving her any information about Noah Base. It's ok.”

His message flashes on the screen, before quickly disappearing. 

HI Runner 38, this is Runner 93.

“Her?” Janine reads his reply and gives him a searching look.  “You must know this is not Runner Five typing; we can see her running on the cams-”

Sam shakes his head.  Did Janine really think he was that stupid, that Runner Five’s abduction made him completely unable to do his job? “It’s not Five. Obviously, it’s not Five.  It’s Nadia.”

Nadia’s answer comes back across the screen. 

Excellent.  I saw the cameras moving earlier and thought it was you.

Janine looks concerned.  “Are you quite certain that this is Ms. Al-Hankai? Are these code names that you have given each other?  Please explain at once.”

“A while ago, Nadia and I were talking about what runner designations we’d use if we were runners.  She wanted to use 38, Lem’s old number.  I mentioned I wanted to be 5 like our Five, but Nadia said that would get too confusing; we already have a 5.  I told her this conversation was giving me déjà vu, because at one point, Nadia rebranded Five as Runner 93 since they already had a 5 in New Canton. So now I’m Runner 93, get it?” 

“As heartwarming as that story is, are you sure this is truly Ms. Al-Hanaki?”

Another message appears on the screen.

I knew you’d be watching her any chance you got.  I would have watched him if I had the chance too.

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s Nadia.”  A memory flashes into Sam’s brain without warning. Several years ago, Nadia had tried to watch Lem. Only it hadn’t been Lem; it was Runner Five with Lem’s headset.  Sam thought watching Five these past few days and not being able to contact her was the worst pain he could experience.  But at the end of all of this, if Runner Five was dead...  For a second, Sam forgets to breathe.

“Mr. Yao?”   Janine asks impatiently, tilting her head towards the screen. Perhaps Janine should reply;  she's focused and so much smarter.  She won't mess things up like he would, lost in his own head. When Sam doesn't move, Janine activates another computer station, and resumes her analysis of the transmission station code.  "Do it for Runner Five, Mr. Yao," Janine says, more softly this time, without looking away from her screen. 

Sam finally makes his fingers move again. 

I know you would have.  And I don’t think I got it before, what we did to you when we pretended to be him.  But now that I’m watching and there’s nothing I can do, I think I get it now.  I’m so sorry.

The responding message appears almost instantly.

I’m sorry too. Sorry you’re going through this.  But you don’t get it, not completely and I hope you never will.  You both still have a chance-that’s what I want to talk to you about.  I think we need a way to set up contact regularly. I can tell you about her and everything else. 

Beside him, Janine is running a security diagnostic, and she frowns at the results. “It must be more secure than this communication,” Janine says, pointing at her screen.   “These text messages have a lifespan of approximately 45 seconds before disappearing. It’s a clever idea, but not foolproof.   If anyone decides to check this camera station at this exact moment, they’ll find these messages transmitted in real time.”

Sam nods and types the concern back to Nadia. 

Any ideas on how we do that, Runner 38?  And how to keep our transmissions more secure?

I had a runner drop off a package for you with instructions on how to set up a more permanent line of communication.  It’s tapped to the underside of the door at the place where she was when you most wanted to kill me.”

Understood.  Talk to you soon, I hope.  Runner 93 signing off. 

Runner 38 signing off. 

“Do you understand what she meant, Mr. Yao?” Janine asks.   She looks frustrated; she isn’t used to being the one without the answers.

“I do.” Sam reassures her.   “Nadia and I have been friends for years now, but back in the early days of the New Canton-Abel alliance, we weren't.  There was a mission where Nadia was Five’s operator, and almost got Five killed," he trails off for a moment. Yet another time Five had been in mortal peril; he couldn’t think about that now. 

"I remember that mission, Mr. Yao.  And despite the odds, Runner Five survived.  She's rather good at that, you know. She arrived safely to Abel today, too."

Sam watches the screen nearest Abel, where Five and Veronica duck under the rising gates.  If he’d been operating for Five, he’d be waiting at the med tent, hovering anxiously while Maxine performs bite checks.  After, Five would sit with him in the comms shack, drinking a hot cocoa he made and complaining about the antibiotics Maxine prescribed to prevent bubonic plague symptoms.  He’d remind her to take every single pill. 

What Abel awaited Five now?  His mental picture changes to Five meeting with Sigrid, who sits in Janine’s usual chair.  It wouldn’t be a mission briefing, but a loyalty test to Sigrid-every question a chance to catch Five in a lie. Later, Dr. Lobatse would visit Five and apologetically tell her that the antibiotics were reserved for key ministry personal only.  Then, she’s forced to sit though dinner with Ian while he gloats about killing Janine and Maxine and throwing her friends in the punishment cells.  There’s no hot cocoa for her, no Sam to hold her hand. 

 Sam can’t do anything to help Five now.  But he and Noah Base could build the tools to start helping in the future. He needs to talk to Nadia. 

“Get the runners ready, Janine, I’ll guide them to the right place, “ Sam says.

A few hours later, Paula and Jody find a thin envelope taped to the underside of a door in a crisp factory. The factory used to be in Dedlock territory, but that group is long gone now.  The envelope has detailed instructions of how to set up a secure channel with Nadia’s lab in Abel.  Sam couldn’t follow it, but Janine and Tom had promised they’d set it up.  Noah Base is to communicate with Nadia every day at 18:00, while the rest of Abel township was at dinner.

Sam glances at the clock.  14:06.  So just another few hours then until their first contact with Nadia. It would feel like an eternity.

“Hello?  Are you there?” Sam says into his headset.  It reminds him of the early days of Abel, when they were first testing the radio system to see if they could safely send runners out of Abel. 

It’s quiet for a moment, except for the gentle buzz of static and hope.

“It’s you? Hi Sam!  Hi Janine!” Nadia’s voice is so loud with excitement that Sam has to pull his headset off partially off his ears. He lowers the volume.

Beside him, Janine lets out a small puff of air.  Sam and Janine had previously agreed Janine would listen but not speak- the less people know Janine is alive, the less chance of it getting back to Sigrid.  They had also agreed to keep Steve Sissay’s true allegiance a secret. Janine said it was good to keep their spies in Abel separate in case one became compromised. 

“Janine’s dead, Nadia,”  Sam says.  He thinks of Sara Smith and Archie, trying to let the grief over their deaths color his voice.  He’s not sure he manages it.

“No, she’s not,” Nadia says so confidently that Sam wonders if this is actually a video call before reminding himself that Janine never would have allowed that.   “Sam, I expected you to be able to follow the security measures I told you about for our communication line.  But the additions you’ve suggested- the freezer alarm in case you need to contact me, the additional level of encryption of this frequency- they’re good, really good-”

“I’m very clever!” Sam says indignantly. “And I did learn a thing or two from working on radio with Janine for YEARS.”

“Uh-huh.  Sure.  What’s the difference between DES and AES encryption, Sam?”

“Well, they both are very secure, you see, and uh, end in ‘ES’ and-”

Janine holds out her hand, and Sam hands her an extra headset.  “I wasn’t—I could have done it you know,“ he mutters.

 “Very good, Ms. Al-Hanaki.” Janine interrupts,  “I am alive, as you suspected.”

“Excellent.  Maxine alive too?”

“I can neither confirm or deny-” 

“I’m going to take that as a yes, Janine.  Well, that certainly is good news!”

“Our turn for questions.” Sam interrupts, not feeling nearly as reassured as Nadia seemed. “Can you tell me how Five is?”

“She’s doing better than most," Nadia says.  "The minister trusts her, so she's well-fed and Ian can't throw her in the cells anymore.”   Sam’s heart does an odd sort of somersault, feeling a strange mix relief and anger. 

“How are you? Is Kefilwe ok?  How is everyone? Sorry I know that’s asking a lot, but there’s just so much to catch up on,”  Sam asks.  He and Janine both unconsciously pull their headsets closer to their ears, as if that could make the reply come quicker.  It feels odd knowing so little about Abel.

“I’m relatively protected since I am Veronica’s lab assistant, so don’t worry about me.  Kefilwe is fine, she wasn’t actually being tortured. That was a lie to lure Five to Abel.  Cameo is in the punishment cells nearly every other day.  Owen’s doing alright, he’s working on some crops that Sigrid is pleased with. I’m not sure if I can trust Veronica or Kytan, I’m worried she’s close to Sigrid and he’s too close to Ian.”  Nadia says rolling through the status reports matter-of-factly.   Perhaps her air controller training allowed her to make succinct reports like this, staying unemotional even when everything was going horribly wrong.

“How is Ian treating you all, Nadia?”

“Ian’s intolerable.” Nadia says and her voice breaks for the first time.  What had he done to them?  “He cuts down our rations every day.  He’s convinced everyone is against him and will punish and torture people for no reason at all.”

“An unhinged, tyrannical leader is dangerous, try to keep a low profile and stay out of trouble.” Janine advises.  “We must start planning on how to evacuate as many as possible from Abel. It is not safe for any of you to remain.” 

“I agree, “ Nadia says.  But we can’t rush that.  Ian’s threatened to kill anyone caught escaping, so we better get it right on the first attempt.”

In the background of Nadia’s feed, a creaking door opens.  Nadia’s voice comes over in a whisper.  “Veronica’s here, I have to go.  But same time tomorrow and all the days after this, ok?

“Understood.  Take care, Ms. Al-Hanaki.” 

“Nadia out.” 

The signal disconnects and Janine smiles at Sam.  “I know Runner Five’s absence has been hard on you, but initiating daily calls with Ms. Al-Hanaki is an excellent step.  Progress may be slow, but we are making progress.”

Sam nods.  She isn’t home yet, but right now, he knows the Runner Five is still alive. That is something more than he had yesterday. 

Chapter Text

18:00 comes the next day, and Sam and Janine wait patiently by the comms for Nadia’s call.  But 18:00 become 18:15. She’s just running late, Sam tells himself.   He begins to run a diagnostic on their comms computer, but Janine stops him. 

“I’ve already done that three times, Mr. Yao.” Janine says in a low voice. “There’s nothing wrong with our equipment.” 

She glances at Sam, as if waiting for him to say something, but he can’t. The pit in his stomach has become a cavern, threatening to swallow him whole. 

By 18:30, Janine gently pats Sam’s shoulder and leaves, with the instructions to call over the internal base comms if anything changes.

At 19:00, Paula brings him dinner.  Paula sits by Sam’s side quietly even after he finishes the sandwiches. 

“You don’t have to stay with me.” he tells her.  His anxiety for Five feels heavy, contagious. “I have to stay, on the off-chance Nadia does call.  But since that’s looking less and less likely by the second…” 

“I’m not here for Nadia, Sam.” Paula says quietly.  “I’m here for you.” She reaches into the bag below her chair, and pulls out a familiar light blue teddy bear.  It’s Five’s bear, Blueberry, who had sat on Five’s empty side of the bed every since her mission to Abel.  Paula plops the bear into Sam’s lap, and he squeezes Blueberry tightly. 

“Do you remember when Maxine went missing?” Paula asks.  Sam nods, stroking the bear’s soft fur and she continues.  “We sent all those runners out to look for her, but you stayed by my side the whole time.  And reminded me we’d get her back.”

At her words, Sam is transported back to the comms booth in Abel.  Paula ran almost nonstop for a week looking for Maxine, until Five restricted her to two missions a day. Despite the absence of any information on Maxine, Paula never left the comms shack during these mandatory rest breaks.  Sam tried to be strong for the both of them. 

“Of course I did,” Sam said.  “Maxine’s one of my best friends; I was worried about her too.   And I wasn’t about to leave you alone either.”

Paula nodded.  “Well, Five’s my running partner and one of my best friends.” Paula says.  “So, we might as well worry together now, right?”

She reaches her hand out and he squeezes it.  “Thanks, Paula,” Sam says, throat tight.

“We got Maxine back, you know.” Paula said after a while.  “Even though it felt impossible, we did.”

Sam grimaces.  “I appreciate what you’re trying to say Paula.  But it’s not the same.  Once we found out Maxine was on that Comansys ship, we started planning on how to get her back immediately.  But with Five, we know where she is and we still don’t have a clue how to get her back. My one hope-“ he points to the comms equipment “went silent.  That’s not good news for Five or anyone in Abel.”

“I lost hope when Maxine went missing too.  But we got her back. And while Maxine’s clever, she’s not nearly as talented at getting out of tight spots as Five is.  If anyone can escape from Abel, it’s Five.”

“But-“

“No but’s, Sam,” Paula says. “We’ll get her back.  You might not believe it now, but I’ll keep reminding you of it anyway. “

They stay like that until the next morning, waiting for a call that doesn’t come.  Waiting for a runner who may never come back.   

On the second night, 18:00 passes again without a call from Nadia.  This time, Maxine waits with him. 

“I’m worried about Runner Five,” Sam tells the doctor, glancing at his watch.  19:30.

“Of course you are Sam, we all are.” Maxine says gently.  She wraps her arm around his shoulders and holds him tightly.  “I’m sure these missed phone calls with Nadia aren’t helping.  Remember, that doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong with Five or anyone else.  Maybe Veronica’s planned experiments and Nadia can’t get away.”

“Huh.” Sam hadn’t considered that, his brain just jumped straight to worst case scenario.  Because during the post-apocalyptic world, the worst case happened more often than not.

“We won’t know what happened until we know.” Maxine said reassuringly, giving his arms another tight squeeze before releasing him. Blueberry the bear still sat on his lap. 

“Yeah, but…” Sam hesitates, feeling like he’s revealing something he shouldn’t about the private Five.  “I was actually worried about Five BEFORE she left for Abel.  Of course now that she’s in Abel, I’m more worried, but, um-“

“Worried before she was captured?”  Maxine looks confused, bit then her eyes narrow.  “I’m going to need you to explain that more.”

And then it all comes out in one big rush.  “She hasn’t been herself, Maxine.  She wasn’t sleeping. She’s moodier than normal. A few days before she left for Abel, I touched her shoulder from behind and she practically attacked me, “ Sam takes an unsteady breath.  He thought Five had needed time, that he’d give her space and she’d talk about it when she was ready.  But now he’d lost that chance to talk at all. 

He continues, “And sometimes she zones of conversations and gets this weird look on her face like…I don’t know how to describe it, like she’s mentally somewhere else.  I’ve actually noticed Five zone out’s on runs too.”

“She’s been zoning out on runs and you didn’t mention it before? Sam, that’s dangerous, why didn’t-“

“No, no it isn’t like that! Somehow, she zones out and becomes more focused.  Like… Five’ll be in danger and then just zone out and find a hidden exit I didn’t even know to guide her to.  Which is good but… I don’t know.  Every time she has one of these ‘episodes,’ it’s like she gets farther and farther away from me.”

“I’m sorry, Sam.”

“Sorry?  What are you sorry for?” Sam asks.  “You didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly.  I didn’t do anything,” Maxine says, biting her lip. When she doesn’t speak, Sam places Blueberry in her lap, and she hugs it close to her chest.   “I’m not just Five’s friend, I’m her doctor.  I noticed Five has been a little off lately, but I just attributed it to homesickness.  We all miss Abel.  But this sounds like something more and I should have caught it.”

“I’m lost.  Caught what?”

“Sam, what you described sounds like PTSD to me. Not sleeping.  She’s on edge and easy to startle.  Those zone outs, they are probably flashbacks.  And hell, I’ve been wondering why she didn’t abort the mission into Abel, Runner Five’s got good instincts and I think she would have known it was dangerous.  But taking unnecessary risks is a symptom too.” 

“But this is Runner Five,” Sam says, remembering all the zombies she’s dodged, all the enemies she’d outran.  And how completely unbothered by it all she seemed.   “She’s superwoman, she’s ok, she’s always ok.” 

Maxine gave him a sad smile.  “We ask her to do too much. She gets all of the hardest, most dangerous missions. She’s watched Sara, Simon, Archie, and so many others die.  That would take a toll on anyone, even superwoman.” 

Sam tries to remember the first time he’d noticed Five acting differently.  She’d been a bit of a funk after Sara’s birth, but with the stress of Sara’s kidnapping, his almost death, Paula’s sickness- hadn’t they all?   She’d become her usual self for a while, until they had gotten to Noah Base.  Or had Five been struggling for much longer and Sam had only noticed recently?  There were fewer places, fewer people to hide behind in Noah Base, after all. 

“So she has PTSD and she’s stuck in Abel,” Sam said. “Probably being tortured and watching Ian do the same to her friends.”   Or she’s dead already, he thought. But that was too awful to even voice out loud.

“Yeah,” Maxine says bitterly.  “It’s not the treatment plan I would have advised either. But she is strong.  We will get Runner Five out of this.  And when we do, we’ll get her help.  I promise.” 

It’s quiet for a moment, until Sam suddenly exclaims.  “Where is Nadia?  She should have called by now.” 

“Sam-“

“It’s just hard sitting here knowing something’s wrong with Five and not being able to help.  I want to help. I want to-”  The tears come and he can’t speak anymore.  Maxine hugs him again, whispering comforting words.  They stay like that for hours until Paula comes in with Sara and tells them they have to sleep.    

It’s day 3 since Nadia’s missed her calls, and at 18:00, Janine is sitting with him in the comms booth again.  Were the women just rotating who was babysitting Sam?  18:01 comes and Sam sighs.  He can’t take another night of this.

But at 18:02, the line crackles to life.  “Sam. Janine, can you hear me?”

Sam grabs his headset so quickly he almost puts it on backwards.  “Yes!  Nadia, are you ok?”

“I-“ Sam hears Nadia take a deep shuddering breath that sounds dangerously close to a sob.  He thinks back to the first day when she seemed elated about contacting Noah Base.  What could have happened to her during those two days of silence? “I’m sorry I haven’t called.  It hasn’t been safe to talk to you ever since-“  her voice breaks off abruptly.

Sam can barely form the words.  “Is she… Did Ian kill Five?”

“Not Five.” Nadia says, and Sam remembers how to breathe again.  “He killed Owen. Just…shot him, out of nowhere in front of all of us.  One second, Ian and Owen are talking and then he’s shooting, over and over…”

“And Five?” Sam asks urgently again.

“She was next to me when Ian murdered Owen.  Held my arms so I didn’t, I don’t know, just rush at Ian. But Five’s alive.  For now,” Nadia says. It’s horrible but for a second, his first feeling is relief.  Five is alive.  But then the guilt comes crashing down. Owen was dead.  And Nadia and Five had to watch…

“I’m so sorry, Nadia. That’s horrible. I—I always liked Owen, “ Sam stammers, then the rest of her words sink in.  “What do you mean, for now?”

“A lot has happened in these past few days. Five used the confusion after Owen’s death to turn on the security measures to Abel’s labs. “

“And did she? Did she turn on the security measures?” Janine asks, lines in her face like she was watching Five sneak in to turn them off in real time.

“Yes.”

“Yes! Excellent job to Runner Five!”  Janine says and she raised her hand to give a high five to Sam.

But Sam’s hands remain at his side.  “But Five? What about-”

And then Nadia continues.  “I’m getting to that.  It’s bad.  Kytan turned her in while she was trying to escape Abel.  Sigrid has her.”

“Damn.”   Janine lowers her hand to Sam’s shoulder, her triumphant expression faded. 

“Yeah, it gets worse. Veronica and I received instructions from the minister to get a zombie ready to chase Runner Five. They’re going to give her the current version of the cure and let a zombie lose on her to test it out.

“Oh god.”  Sam says.  His whole body is shaking like he has the chills.

“Do you think Ms. McShell has a working version of the cure?” Janine asks hopefully.

“I-“ Nadia says.  But the several seconds of dead air are enough of an answer.

Janine nods grimly.  “As I suspected.  Then we must get to Runner Five before the zombies do.” 

“I think that part is doable, actually,” Nadia says, the first spark of hope in her voice.  “They’re setting Runner Five and the zombie loose on some sort of obstacle course? And that’s where you come in.  I can give her a hat with a hidden headset that’s fixed to the same channel we’re on now.  The test is at 11 AM tomorrow. Be on the channel and you can guide her though it and help her escape.” 

“We don’t have cam access to Abel, Ms. Al-Hanaki,” Janine reminds. 

“I’ll take care of that.  Everyone will be so busy watching Runner Five’s test; they won’t be paying attention to the cam access.”

Sam grimaces.  It had been over a month since he’d last talked to Runner Five and every day, he’d missed her.  He thought he’d do anything to hear her voice. But not like this.  Not when she was in this much danger.

Chapter Text

“Remember everyone,” Sam instructs, glancing around the crowded coms room.  “You’ll need to stay quiet.  I’m going to have to focus to keep Runner Five safe.”

Everyone nods.  Janine and Tom are sitting to his right, and in charge of managing the cam feeds, which Nadia granted about fifteen minutes before.  Tom is taking notes as he methodically scans through the cams around the course, planning optimal routes and occasionally pointing out hazards to Sam. Meanwhile, Janine rapidly flips through other cams around Abel, using this time to get caught up on her township that she hadn’t seen in months. The beginnings of a long-term plan to get Abel back, she had said.  But when Five is ready to run the course, she would switch and help Tom too.

Maxine sits to his left, carefully scanning camera feeds in the woods just outside of Abel.  Like Sam, she wears a headset, but she’s on a channel with Jody and Paula, who were about a mile’s run from Abel.  If Five could get out, she’d have Jody and Paula to help her get home.    

“Sit-rep, Runner 4?” Maxine asks.  Sam can tell everything is fine by the way Maxine slowly nods as she listens.  Maxine flashes him a thumbs up.  

Behind them sits Peter, Baby Sara in his arms.  Sam feels better having his daughter close but had instructed Peter to take her outside if she got too fussy or if things got violent. Sara loves Auntie Five, and Sam didn’t want her to see…. But no, Five, would be fine. 

In the doorway, Amelia stands with one foot in the room, one foot in the hallway. Sam couldn’t tell if she wanted the intel or if she actually cared if Five is ok.  Perhaps both.

As soon as Five appears on screen, all the hubbub in Noah Base fades away.  Nadia leads Five to a pen similar to ones for racehorses.  Five stands upright and strong, but Sam can see small cracks in her armor- her too-tight shoulders, the brief hesitation before entering the pen. She glares overhead, where the minister and Ian sit comfortably in raised stands, like rich spectators at a sporting event. Nadia places a baseball hat over Five’s head, and suddenly, Sam can hear Five’s steady breathing.

“Oh my God, Five! Are you okay? I can see you-” Sam blurts out as soon as the hat is over her ears. He has a moment of panic, perhaps his voice wouldn’t be welcome. Perhaps Five blamed him for getting her trapped in Abel or for the faked girl guide tape. 

Five’s eyes widen and he sees her shoulders relax. “Sam,” she whispers with her mouth barely moving- to an onlooker, it would look like she was sighing.  But he hears how much relief and longing is that one word.  He misses her desperately in that moment. But it also feels surprisingly normal-Five in a dangerous situation and Sam’s in her ear.  They could do this. 

“Nadia’s hooked me into the cams around this testing ground,” Sam says to help orient her. “Oh, Five. It is so good to see you. We’re going to get you out of this. Don’t worry, I’m on it.”

He wants to say so much more.  Ask her a bunch of questions that she can’t possibly answer, surrounded by enemies as she is.  How was she?  Was she dealing with her PTSD and the grief from Owen’s death? Did she know that he missed her every single day that she was gone? That she’d never been forgotten about, not for a single instant?

But all of that can wait.  He focuses on describing the testing grounds around her. Keeping Five alive is the only priority. Tom’s notes indicate that he should try to the first break in the fence a few miles to the north.  He’d just needs to guide her there. 

Veronica moves Five to the starting line and pushes her into the testing ground.  The wooden gate snaps closed behind her. The fences to the obstacle course are so tall that it is darker on the course than it is outside.  Five stands there for a moment, looking so small.

“Five?  I know you’re scared, but you got to run.”

“I don’t know if I can get out of this one, Sam,” Five admits, voice shaking a little.    

“That’s what I’m here for.  We’re going to figure this out, like we always do,” Sam says, making himself sound more confident than he feels.  “Please run, Five.  Run like you’re coming home to me.”

Five starts sprinting. 

By the time the zombie is released, Five’s slowed down a bit. She’s not tired, but the maze-like turns of the testing grounds prevent her from running any faster.  Sam checks the cams, hardly daring to hope.  She’s covered enough ground that she’s well ahead of the zombie and should easily make it to the gap before the zombie reaches her.  Five’s encountered far harder challenges before; running this distance wouldn’t even make her top ten.    And yet, he won’t relax until she is safely at Noah Base. 

From a platform above, Sigrid, Veronica and Ian watch Five’s progress, like they’re the Roman emperor watching the gladiators fight to the death.  Sam can hear snippets of their conversations from Five’s mic as they torment her over the loudspeakers.

“If Five turns into a zombie, can I have it? Can I?” Ian asks the Prime Minister. 

Five rolls her eyes as she runs. “If I turn into a zombie, Sam, remind me to bite him first.”

“Not going to happen, Five,“ Sam assures. “We’ll find another way to make Ian and Sigrid pay for what they did, one that, you know, doesn’t involve you becoming a zombie?” 

She smiles, but the brief moment of almost normalcy doesn’t last long.   The distance between Runner Five and the zom has halved now and it’s coming much too quick for Sam’s liking.

“I think it’s – ugh, yeah, it’s a fast zom. Oh, I thought those were all extinct!” he takes a breath, trying to calm himself.  “Never mind, never mind. Uh, just keep moving.”  She’d be ok.  She’s fine.    

“Why can’t we have more zombies in there?”  Ian complains. “Really make it fun! Really increase Five’s energy. I’ve got a whole pen full of well-rotted zombies we could release.”

“This is a controlled trial, Ian.” Veronica reminds him, sounding like an adult telling a child he couldn’t have a fifth piece of candy. “How can I work out what happens if more than one zombie bites Five?”

“God. Ronnie either really thinks her vaccine’s going to work, or…” Sam sighs and tries to fill Five in on some of the details of Noah Base-Abel rebels communications.  It was a trick of his, give the runner something to focus on besides the fear of impending death, but not enough to overwhelm from what she needs to do. “We need to talk to Ronnie. Nadia hasn’t told her about this headset. None of us know how much we can trust her, now she’s working so closely with Sigrid.”

Five double taps the side of her hat, an acknowledgement the runners came up with when they couldn’t give verbal confirmation. 

 “But first,” Sam continues. “We need to get you out of there. I’m not trusting any vaccine. That fast zom’s gaining on you. Put on a burst of speed, Five. I know you can do it.”

“Okay, Five. You’re still outpacing that zombie, and you’re getting closer to the break in the fence. If you can get out, we don’t think they have any snipers at that end, and we’ll have a transport waiting for you not far away.”

Sam glances to his left, where Maxine is guiding Jody and Paula to the rendezvous point.  Satisfied that Maxine has things under control, Sam tunes her voice out.

Five is still running for the break in the fence.  “Sam, are you there?  Tell me something to distract me from the fast zom.  I haven’t heard anything about Noah Base in so long, please Sam-”

He understands what she’s asking.  She’s scared and needs a distraction from the fear.  “We’ve missed you, Five. Baby Sara’s missed you. I’ve missed you. It seems like so long since we last talked.” 

Behind him, Sara coos at her name, and Peter bounces her on his knee.  “Auntie Five’s coming home soon,” Peter whispers to the baby. 

“Give her positive reinforcement, Mr. Yao,” Janine says in a low voice.  “I’ve noticed an increase in Runner Five’s speed when you give her encouragement.”

Sam nods and says, “And Janine’s so pleased with what you’ve done. We’ve stopped Sigrid getting to the labs under Abel, and now all we have to do is work out how to get her out of there for good. Oh, and you’re not going to believe the rec room I’ve put together in Noah Base. Seriously awesome stuff! We’ve got LARPing gear! Fake swords and everything!” 

It’s the LARPing gear that makes Five smile.  Or perhaps it’s Sam’s excitement about the LARPing gear.  Just a little more, Five.  Sam estimates she’ll be there in under 2 minutes at this pace. 

“For goodness’ sake, this is taking far too long, Veronica” Sigrid says, and her aggravation bolsters Sam’s spirits further. “Can’t we speed it up a bit?” 

Sigrid, Veronica, and Ian continue to bicker as a fence spring up in Five’s path, blocking her exit strategy. Five veered to the right to avoid it, but a pit of spikes opens in front of her, causing Five to skid to a sudden halt. 

“Sam,” she says, breathlessly.  She had run all out towards the fence break, and doesn’t have much reserves left.  “There’s nowhere else- I have to go back.”

While Five had dodged the traps, the fast zom rapidly closed the distance between them.   It was less than than 50 yards away at this point and is gaining ground quickly. 

“Okay, okay, we’ll fix this” Sam says, but his voice is shaking. “Just keep running, Five. Stick to the left of the fence, and you might be able to avoid the zombie. And if Ronnie’s right, adrenaline will make that vaccine more likely to work, so just keep running!”

Five hugs the fence, but shrieks as it becomes electrified. 

“That was only a mild shock, she may still-“ Janine says.

“There isn’t anywhere else for her to go!” Tom exclaims.

Sam mutes his mic.  “EVERYONE shut up! I’m trying to focus here.”  Behind him, he hears the click of the door close- Peter left with Baby Sara as promised.  Which was probably just a precaution, this is Five and she could still get out of this situation, she always does-

Five is running towards the zombie now.  “I can’t- I don’t know what else to do!”

“Five, dodge left! No, right, right! You’ll have to climb that fence.”

Five sprints to one part of the fence that isn’t electrified.  But as she begins to climb, the fence suddenly lowers, and she falls flat on her face, and suddenly the zombie is upon her.

“Just get up. Just get up! Get up, and move!” Sam screams into the mic as the zombie bites her left arm.

“Oh God. It’s bitten you. Uh… well, you never know. You might turn out to have natural immunity like me, or… or Veronica’s vaccine might work.”

The zombie is taken out by a headshot from one of Sigrid’s snipers.  For a second, Sam hopes the sniper will shoot Five too, that would be better than watching her turn.  Watching another Runner Five turn…

But she wasn’t dead, not yet.  “Five, run for that break in the fence. Now!” He orders, and she starts sprinting to a new opening. 

Sam tries to reassure her but his voice sounds strangled. “You never know. Veronica’s vaccine might have worked, and if not, we can put you on plasmapheresis. You’ll be okay, Five. I mean, Paula’s just fine most of the time. Just run! As fast as you can. Come back to us.”

She doesn’t speak, but puts on a massive burst of speed.

Sam hears a click as he’s taken to a private channel.

“Sam,” Jody says, voice hitching but she powers through it. “If Five can make it past the fence and out of Abel, I can get her back to Noah quickly for the treatment. We can do this.”

 Sam tries to hold onto that last piece of hope.  But as he switches back to Five’s channel, he sees Five stumble. She’s slowing down, until she’s almost at walking speed.

“Five, are you okay? Five. Five, Five! You’re slowing down,” Sam pleads.

Sam’s listening so hard to his headset, but all he can hear is Runner Five’s labored breathing.  

“Five?  Five, keep moving. Oh, please!  Please, you have to keep moving.  Please!  Please don’t stop.  I can’t watch this happen, Five!”

It’s not the first time Sam’s panicked when Runner Five’s been in danger. Five usually makes a wisecrack, or if it’s really serious, says something to reassure him.  No matter what she says, she sounds controlled and keeps running through it all. 

But now, Five staggers to a stop, consumed in a fit of coughing.  She speaks hoarsely into her microphone, “I’m…sorry, Sam....I love--”   she bends over sideways to cough, “I, l-“

“Five, please!” he screams.  “Keep moving!”

“Mr. Yao,” Janine says quietly.  Sam can’t tell if her hand on his shoulder is shaking or if he’s experiencing whole-body tremors.  “Perhaps you should say something comforting, I don’t think she has-“

Sam ignores this. “No! Five!” he calls out to her. Five’s fallen to her knees.  He cheeks, typically a rosy pink with exertion, are now a sallow gray.  “Oh, please don’t stop running. Please don’t, please! Please, don’t let this be happening. Please, please!”

She’s moving her mouth like she’s trying to say something, but no words come out.  Instead, her body convulses with coughs, and she falls face-first to the ground.  “Runner Five!” Sam cries. “Five!”

And suddenly, Five is still.  She moans, and for a split-second, Sam hopes Veronica’s vaccine worked. Five would brush herself off with a laugh, and be back in Noah Base soon, drinking tea and eating his Curly Wurly’s.   

That vision is shattered when Five jerkily rises to her feet, emitting a guttural growl. 

“Oh no,” Maxine whispers. Sam can’t look at the doctor- his pain is too raw to deal with anyone else’s.   

 “I--- I love you too,” Sam says, and now he can’t hold the sobs back as Zombie Five shambles forward.   Did she hear him?  Or was she already gone?    

Chapter Text

There is silence in the comms room for almost a full minute as everyone stares at the screen.  Five’s mouth foams as she shambles aimlessly around the testing ground.    Sam feels oddly disconnected from his body, like he’s watching both the events on the cams and in the comms room happen to someone else. 

“Hello?”  Jody’s voice calls out over the comms.  “What’s happened to Five, is she…”

Sam can’t remember how to make his mouth move to answer.

Maxine places her head in her hands, “ I don’t… I don’t think there’s anything we can do.”

“No,” Paula says with guttural sound that Sam can feel in his own chest.  “Not Runner Five…. She can’t be a-” 

Janine answers the unfinished question.  “Yes, Runner 23, it is true.  Runner Five has become a zombie.”  Her voice is mostly steady, although her eyes are red.  “Runners 4 and 23, please return to Noah Base.”

“We can’t just leave Five there to be… an experiment?  We can’t leave her there!” Sam protests.  He’s found his voice again, and it’s loud, hands gripping the comms desk so hard they turn white.  He’s so angry.  With Janine for abandoning Five in the testing grounds, with Veronica for her stupid, ineffective vaccine, with Sigrid and Ian for treating Five’s death like it’s a sporting event, and with himself most of all.   Bringing Five safely was his most important job, and he couldn’t do it.    

Tom pats his arm softly, but Sam flinches away.  “I know this is hard, but we have to focus on the living now. We have to protect Jody and Paula.”  On Sam’s other side, Maxine is speaking quickly into her headset, already giving the runners directions. 

“Yeah. You’re right.  I’m sorry,” Sam says, feeling the anger burn out as quickly as it had come.  There wasn’t anything left to fight for. He’s still staring at the screen when he notices Five speeding up from a shamble to a run.  She’s fast and has a smoother gait than most zombies he’s seen.  “Look! Five’s running!” Sam says, pointing to the screen.  He starts laughing hysterically, though it chokes off to a sob.

“You can’t think of that as Five anymore,” Amelia says brusquely, and Sam winces, although a small part of him knows she’s right.  Amelia has taken Peter’s vacated seat behind Sam.  “That is a zombie, not the runner you knew and loved.” 

Love, Sam corrects in his head.  I still love her, always. Aloud, he says, “The zombie, I mean. The zombie. It’s running. Go home, Five! Do keep going!” 

Suddenly, the left side of the fence opens, and a woman is pushed into the testing grounds. The woman is unnaturally pale, and dark red gash runs from the corner of her left eye and disappears under her hairline.  She leans against the fence, but her feet slip out from under her.  She doesn’t get back up.  Her chest is still rising, although shallowly. 

Runner Five runs towards the newcomer.  “The zombie can smell the blood from her headwound and from the injury to her left side,” Janine says, pointing out an injury Sam hadn’t even noticed. 

“Go on Five!  Get her! Get the Neutrophil scum!”  Ian calls down from the grandstands. 

“I can’t watch this,” Sam says softly.  He doesn’t move; eyes glued to the screen. Runner Five is about 50 feet from the woman now, who half-crawls, half drags herself away.  It wouldn’t matter though, even if the prisoner could run- no one outruns Runner Five.

“You don’t have to watch, Mr. Yao,” Janine says softly.  She flickers one of the screens in front of him so it shows Abel’s duck pond.  He remembers how he and Five used to take Sara there-was that really only three months ago? Five would quack like the ducks, making Sara giggle.  It was oddly comforting, even in this moment, to see the ducks splashing around like they always did.      

Sam changes the screen back to the zombified Five.  “I can’t not watch it.”

“I know,” Janine says, extending her hand.  He takes it, gripping harder than was probably comfortable for Janine, but she doesn’t pull away.  On the screen, Runner Five draws nearer and nearer to the injured prisoner…

Bang!

A loud noise across their headsets makes everyone in the comms room jump.  Sam instinctively pulls his headset off to save his eardrums, but then remembers this headset is the last lifeline to Five.  He quickly replaces it on his head, only to hear a silent buzzing of static.  The line is dead.

“Did they… did they shoot Runner Five?”  Maxine asks.  Sam’s eyes well with tears.  It’s out of his hands, out of his hands. Even still, he doesn’t know what outcome to hope for.

“I’m attempting to get a better camera angle, whatever happened blocked the camera feed we were looking at,” Janine said, quickly typing on the computer before her.  “Yes, that should do it.”

Sam forces himself to look at the screen, trying to prepare himself for what he might see.  “What-“ he says in confusion.  “Is that?”

A large metal box is where Five used to be.  The prisoner is still crawling on the ground, but now she’s dragging herself towards the box.

“I-“ Janine says.  “I think it’s a steel box.  Perhaps a trap used to catch the zombie.”

“Why didn’t you let Five eat the Neutrophil prisoner!?”  Ian calls over the loudspeaker.  Nadia, still on the side of the testing ground, has activated a headset of her own, allowing Noah Base to listen in.

“I need the whole specimen to study for my trials, the prisoner was merely bait.” Veronica explains.  “I don’t want Nicki contacting Zombie Five and interfering with my data.  The zombie will be contained in the box and safely retrieved for further analysis.”

“But-“  Ian sputters.

“Now Ian, Veronica has important work to do,”  Sigrid says smoothly.  “Runner Five met an unpleasant end, and won’t cause us trouble anymore.  That’s what matters.”

Shortly after, Sigrid and Ian disappear from the testing ground grandstands, the spectacle apparently over.  But Sam watches the prisoner drag herself over to the box.  He can’t see in the box; it’s metal with coin sized air holes.  Surprisingly, Nikki starts moving her mouth.   

“Look,” Sam says pointing.  “The prisoner, she’s talking to Five in the box!  Maybe she’s ok!  Maybe it just, took a while for the vaccine to work!”

“I don’t think so,” Amelia says.  “From the notes I obtained from some of the Comansys scientists, the brain dies immediately upon the zombification process.  Five’s gone, Sam.” 

Maxine, still directing Jody and Paula back, gives Amelia a dirty look. 

“What?  I’m just being realistic! Runner Five is dead, and there’s no point in pretending otherwise.”

Janine frowns.  “The prisoner could be taunting the zombie.   I think, Mr. Yao, continuing to hold onto hope will only make this more painful.”

But Sam watches Nikki talk to the box for about fifteen minutes.  Nadia doesn’t have a mic close enough to hear what’s being said, and he hasn’t been able to re-establish contact with Five’s headset since the box trapped her.  But surely, a woman who appeared to be gravely injured wouldn’t waste the last of her strength talking to a zombie, right?

“I’m so sorry,” Nadia whispers over her headset.  “I have to- Cameo and the others wanted an update on what happened and I—I should go talk to them.  I’ll be in contact soon, once we have some time to process this.”

“Well, Nadia’s got the right idea of it. I have better things to do than watch a box that has a zombie in it.” Amelia says, and exits the comms room.   

“We should go too,” Tom says, gesturing to himself and Maxine.  “Jody and Paula are just back at the lift now and we should-“

“Yeah,” Sam says slowly.  He’s happy that Jody and Paula are ok, of course he is.  But his partner is never coming back. 

Only Janine and Sam remain.  Sam waits for Janine to make an excuse too, surely, she has more important things to do than sit with him.   But she stays, silent except for a few deep gulps of air, like she’s trying to fight back tears.  Sam wipes eyes because the tears are starting to obscure his vision and he needs to see what happens to Five.  On the screen, Nikki stops talking to the box and rests her head against the side tiredly. 

“Do you remember when Sergeant Ellis died?”  Sam asks.

Janine stops sniffing and looks surprised by the sudden topic change.  “Of course I do.  He was an honorable solider; instrumental in the early days of Abel township.”

“It was the first time I lost a runner,” Sam says slowly.  An ocean of loss separated him from that day and now.   “I remember everything about that day, how it felt to hear his last breaths over the radio, what it was like at the first runners corps meeting with an empty seat. And I promised myself I’d never let it happen again.”

“That wasn’t a promise you could keep, Mr. Yao,” Janine says softly. 

“I know.  But I also didn’t expect to break that promise to four Runner Five’s.”

“Sergeant Ellis, “Janine says slowly and reverently.  “Mr. Kyles, Ms. Dempsey and…”

“Don’t, Janine,” Sam says, “Please don’t say her name in that list.”  He felt a pang of grief on hearing Alice’s name, but it feels muted, like an accidental touch of a hot pan on the stove.   His current grief for his girlfriend is an open flame, threatening to engulf him completely. 

“She was a hero.  She defeated Van Ark, saved the world from mind control, and most recently, turned on the defenses to Abel’s labs. She’s done more for Abel, for this world, than most people do in a lifetime.”

It helps a little, hearing Janine recount Five’s extreme bravery and nobleness.  But heroic deeds are for other people, and right now, Sam wants to be selfish and wishes Five left the world to fend for itself.  “All the Runner Fives were amazing heroes, but I also know this: I don’t want a fifth Runner Five.”

Janine nods.  “I agree. I’m retiring the number. There are four layers of grief associated with that designation now.” 

On the screen, the prisoner slides down the side of the box and doesn’t move again. 

“I think the Neutrophil prisoner is dead,” Janine says.  Sam registers this numbly, he knows that they’d been desperate for news about Jerry and the Neutrophil group, but he can’t begin to care about the strategic loss.  He wonders if Nikki has people that will miss her as much as he misses Five. 

There isn’t anything to watch anymore just a box and a dead woman, and still Sam can’t look away.  Because the moment he takes his headset off, he’ll end the last mission he’d ever talk to Five.  Eventually, the camera feed cuts off- Nadia must have cut the cam access to Abel before Sigrid could discover it.   Sam and Janine sit and stare at a blank screen.

Time passes by meaninglessly.  Sam registers that at some point, Janine must have left and been replaced by Maxine, Paula, and Peter- when did that happen? 

He realizes that Paula is talking to him, and tries to tune in the words.  “- bring you some food?  Would you like that?  We could also go visit Sara; she’ll be waking up from her nap soon.” 

“I’d just rather stay here.  And I don’t want anything to eat, thank you,” Sam says.

“Is that healthy?  You have to leave this room eventually, Sam,” Peter says, glancing worriedly at Maxine and Paula.

“It’s ok, Sam.” Maxine reassures him.  “We can all stay here a while longer.”

Sam sits and stares, feeling as blank as the screen in front of him. 

BEEEEEEEEP

Peter recoils at the loud noise.  “What does that alarm mean?  I don’t think I’ve heard that before.”

Maxine watches Sam for a minute but he doesn’t move.  She grabs a headset.  “It’s Nadia’s signal that she wants to contact Noah Base.  Sam, do you want to answer it?” 

“I—I don’t know if I can,” Sam whispers.

Maxine squeezes his shoulder and gives the headset to Paula.  “I’m supposed to be dead; can you answer it?”

Paula nods and places the headset hastily over her ears. “Hi Nadia, sorry, sorry.  I’m here.” 

“Hi, Paula,”  Nadia says, sounding much more chipper than Sam expected.  “I’m here with a few friends: Veronica.”

“Hello, Dr. Cohen,” Veronica says.

Nadia continues., “…As well as Runner Five.”

“What?” Sam says, startled. “Is this some kind of horrible joke, we saw her-“ he can’t finish.

“No, Sam,” a familiar voice says.  “It’s really me.  Runner Five.” 

Chapter Text

“How…I mean, I’m glad you’re alive, like REALLY glad, but how is this possible?” Sam stammers, his voice trembling as much as his hands.  Had he hallucinated Five, a side-effect from staring into empty space for so long?  His wide eyes flick to the stunned faces around him- Maxine’s eyes are practically bulging out of her head, Peter’s mouth hangs comically open.  Perhaps a shared hallucination, then.

“I’m going to get Janine,” Peter says, breaking free of his stupor.  He practically trips over his feet in his hurry towards the door.

“Hold on, I’m getting the camera feed access set up, you should see us in a few moments.  You’ll want to go to channel 41A.”  Nadia says, with a crisp efficiency, though her usual calm seems slightly strained. Maxine adjusts the Noah Base computer settings to the correct frequency, and soon the camera feed flickers on.  An image of one of Abel’s sterile, fluorescent-lit laboratories appears. For a moment, a hand blocks the camera, obscuring everything. Then the hand withdraws, revealing her.

Five.

She is slumped in a chair, face ashen.  With a visible, almost painful effort, she raises her head. Her dull eyes fix directly on the camera, like she could see Sam sitting there, and a ghost of a smile twitches at the corner of her lips. “Sam,” she whispers. 

“We all saw you turn zombie, Five,” Paula adds, wiping away a few tears from her eyes.  She lets out a huff of air that is somewhere between a laugh and a sigh of relief.  “Are- are you ok?”

Five gives a slow, deliberate nod, her movements unsteady. She presses herself back into her chair, trying to sit upright.  “It feels like I’m both drunk and hungover at the same time,” Five says hoarsely.  “My head is throbbing, but hey, I’m not a zombie.”

Veronica nods, looking unsurprised.  “That would be the residual effects of the drug I administered," she explains, matter-of-factly. "It should continue to wear off over the next hour or so."

“Veronica,” Paula interjects, tone somewhere between stern and accusing. “What was in that vaccine?”

“I’d like to know that too,” Five adds, her eyes narrowing slightly, though she lacked the energy to glare properly.

 Veronica tilts her head, as if lecturing a classroom, “As I mentioned previously, though you were likely too impaired to absorb the information, the ‘vaccine’ was a formulation specifically engineered to simulate the effects of zombification—jerky movements, pallor, disorientation— “

“But what about the zombie bite?” Sam interrupts, knowing Veronica would continue to describe every one of Five's symptoms if left unchecked.  “We all saw that was real.” 

“Oh, that part was simple,” Veronica says.  “The zombie that bit Runner Five was non-infectious.  I’ve perfected the technique of neutralizing infectivity.”

Five rubs her temples as though trying to banish the lingering fog in her mind. "I started to feel really woozy after the drug kicked in," she murmurs. "By the time I reached Nikki, I realized I was still thinking and scared—which doesn’t exactly fit with zombie behavior. But before I could make sense of it, a great big box dropped on me."

Veronica nods, her tone as calm as if she were discussing the weather. "Containment was necessary. It allowed you to establish contact with Nikki without the Minister catching on. And now, we have crucial intel on Jerry and Neutrophil."

Sam can’t think about anything he cares about less than Neutrophil at this moment.  He will again one day, but right now, his mind is full of Five.  He notices how her eyes briefly glaze over, until she blinks back into focus.   The large gash from her earlier fall has been wiped clean of dirt and blood, leaving a dark red ribbon from her left eyebrow to her cheek.  But she’s sitting upright now, a small improvement from when they first established contact.   

Five’s voice cuts through his thoughts. "Remind me again why I wasn’t let in on this brilliant plan?" she asks, her tone half exasperated, half weary.

“Or us?” Paula adds angrily. 

"Runner Five’s acting skills are categorically abysmal," Veronica says, unfazed. "Had I involved you, the operation would’ve been compromised."

Five lets out a dry laugh, though it quickly dissolves into a soft cough. "I managed to fool Sigrid into thinking I’d turned traitor, didn’t I?"

"Pretending to be an Abel traitor is approximately a tenth as difficult as feigning to be a zombie," Veronica says bluntly. "Statistically, your failure was inevitable."

Sam suspects indignation is giving Five a newfound strength or perhaps the drug is continuing to wear off.  She glares at Veronica, and shakily rises to her feet. "You have no idea what—"

"Enough!" Nadia’s says, cutting them off. She maneuvers her wheelchair between the two women, fixing them both with a glare. "We’re losing sight of what really matters," she said, her voice steady. "Five’s alive, but she’s still in Abel. If we want to keep her that way, we need to focus on getting her out."

For a moment, both Noah Base and the Abel lab are silent. Then Maxine, looking sheepish, adds, "She’s right. We’ve all kept secrets. We didn’t exactly tell Veronica that Janine and I were still alive, did we?"

"Exactly," Nadia says, her tone resolute. She glances at each of them, finally locking eyes with Sam and Paula through the screen. Five sinks back down into her chair, and nods.  "We’re on the same side. Let’s act like it."

Veronica gives a curt nod, conceding. "Agreed. Sharing information moving forward would be... prudent."

With a sigh, Paula steps forward. "Fine. Five’s not safe yet. I’ll go prep with Jody. We’ll head back to Abel."

“But-“Maxine sputters, as surprised as Sam by her sudden pivot to action.  “You just got back from a run, do you have the energy left?”

“And that only solves part of the problem,” Sam says.  “You can get Runner Five from outside Abel to Noah Base.  But the hard part is going to be getting Five OUT of Abel.  We don’t have any bright ideas on that front, right?”  He glances around, both around the room and at the faces on the screen, only to find everyone shaking their heads. Great. 

Paula doesn’t break stride as she headed toward the door.  “We didn’t have to run very hard, the earlier mission was basically a nice warm up,” she calls over her shoulder.  “And yeah, you don’t have a plan to get Five out now.  Maybe you’ll have one by the time we get there.” She flashes a thumbs up and disappears toward the lift to the surface. 

Sam waits for someone to speak up, but the silence stretches uncomfortably on. But fortunately, Janine and Amelia choose that moment to arrive.  Amelia immediately charges to the comms stations while Janine stays by the door, surveying the scene pensively. 

“What I miss?” Amelia asks as she leans on the back of Sam’s chair. She squints at the screen, curling her lip in disgust. “Oh, Runner Five, when Peter mentioned that you weren’t a zombie, I expected your complexion to be better than this.”

“Thanks Amelia,” Five says dryly, “Next time I get captured by Sigrid I’ll work on my beauty routine, but for now, can we focus on getting me the hell out of here?”

“I’m sure you will, you Abel lot always have a way of pulling off these ‘daring’ escapes. It’s all a bit boring if you ask me- a logistical nightmare,” Amelia says, stifling a yawn with a manicured hand.  “Five, you clearly peaked while pretending to be a zombie." 

Janine grimaces, eyes blazing with anger that Sam was sure would detonate at any moment.   Sam, however, gazes at Amelia thoughtfully.  Why was she here?  Surely not just to tease Five....

"It's alright, Amelia,"  Sam says gently.  "Five really is alive."  

For a fraction of a second, Amelia's expression softens, but quickly settles back into annoyance.  "Yes, I clearly see that, Sam, I have eyes,"  Amelia says.  "Now if you’ll excuse me, I have more interesting tasks to attend to, I think I saw some vintage Cabbage Patch dolls in the Noah Base Rec Room.  They’re in mint condition, and you’ll be surprised what collectors are willing to pay for them these days.”

“Just go, Ms. Spens.” Janine says coldly, holding the door open for Amelia. 

“Best of luck Five, do pick up some souvenirs from Abel on your way out.” Amelia says as Janine half-pushes her through the door.  “Especially if they’re valuable.  Ta!”

“Ideas, please.”  Janine says smoothly, as if there had been no interruption, although her expression is murderous. 

“We can hide Five in the labs for a little while,” Veronica suggests. “I’ll tell the minister I’ve incinerated the zombie.  That won’t raise suspicion.”

Nadia frowns.  “Yeah, but it’s not like there are a lot of hiding places here in the lab. If Sigrid comes to visit, we’re going to have a problem.”

Five shook her head, and says firmly, sounding stronger than she’s been thus far, “I don’t want to hide here.  That puts Nadia and Veronica in danger.” 

 “Are we able to smuggle Runner Five out?” Janine asks. “We could create a bomb and she could escape through the fence.”

Maxine shakes her head, looking up from the typed notes in front of her. Sam looks more closely- its’s a medical chart with all of Five’s symptoms listed. “I can tell just by looking at Five that she’s not going to be up for a high-speed escape,” Maxine says.

Sam leans over her shoulder to read her latest annotation to the chart: Reduction in pallor during the brief observation period.  Has strength to stand with slight swaying. Hypothesize pharmaceutical effect of the vaccine is waning; monitor for long-term effect of dose once at Noah Base.

“I’m not a medical doctor,” Veronica says, “However, I agree with Dr. Myers’s assessment.  Additionally, all of the explosive devices would be quite difficult to obtain without drawing attention to ourselves.  Furthermore, even with a bomb, the fences are heavily guarding leading to-“

“Got it, the bomb plan is a no-go,” Sam interrupts.  “So where does that leave us?”

Nadia’s eyes light up.   “Wait.  What Veronica said about incineration earlier gave me an idea.  What if we bring Five out to the incineration pile?” 

Veronica tilts her had thoughtfully, considering.   “Hmm.  You know, that could actually work.

Janine’s eyes dart rapidly between the two women.  “Incineration pile?  Please explain at once.”

“Yeah,” Five says with a groan.  “I’m not too thrilled about being burned to death on top of everything else I’ve got going.”

Nadia waves her hand dismissively.  “You won’t be.  Veronica’s been experimenting on zombies and we don’t like to keep them around Abel after she's finished with them. We’ve been burning the corpses.  It’s pretty, uh, fragrant, so the incineration pile is outside of Abel walls.  We can sneak Runner Five out that way.”

“So uh,” Sam says.  “Not to sound ungrateful, but why couldn’t we have tried this before?”

Nadia smiles but shook her head. “No, the guards still search everything we send out, only reason we can do this is because everyone thinks Five’s dead.”

Veronica briefly disappears off screen and returns holding a small syringe, which Five eyes warily.  “What’s that?” Five and Sam ask simultaneously. 

 “It’s a short-acting muscle relaxant,” Veronica says impatiently, like they should have been able to reason it out by themselves.  “That will help keep Five still enough to fool the guards.”

“Remember, Ronnie,” Nadia says, holding up her hand and stopping Veronica. “What’s the first thing you do?  Before you even go near Five with that syringe.”

Veronica purses her lips, her expression sour.  “It’s not medically necessary.  It won’t change how the drug works.”

“I know it’s not medically necessary,” Nadia says firmly.  “But it’s what will make you different from Van Ark and Sigrid.  Part of the whole ‘becoming a good person’ thing.”

Veronica sighs and then schools her face into a strained smile.  “Runner Five,” she says with careful politeness.  “May I inject this muscle relaxant into your arm?  There really isn’t a better choice if you want to get past the guards.”

"Go ahead, Veronica," Five says. As Veronica wipes Five’s arm with an alcohol swab, Sam hears a sharp chirp noise from the comms radio. 

“Ah,” Maxine says as if she was waiting for the sound. “Paula and Jody are ready to head out.”  She adjusts the settings on her headset, switching to their channel. “Are you all ready? Did you pack medical supplies?”  A brief pause while she waits for an answer.    “Good, yeah, I’m glad you got one of the folding stretchers- they’re so much lighter.” 

As Maxine carries on with the standard pre-mission equipment checks, Sam focuses back on the screen.  “How are you feeling, Five?”  he asks, wishing he could hold her hand. 

Five’s eyelids flutter shut, her expression oddly tranquil. “I can’t really feel much of my limbs at the moment,” she says slowly. “Kinda like being at the dentist when they numb your mouth, except it’s my whole body? Nothing hurts anymore though, so I guess that’s good.” 

“How do you intend to move Runner Five?” Janine asks Nadia and Veronica.  “I believe Mr. Sissay could be of good use here.”

“Good idea,” Nadia says with a nod. “I’ll go find him.”  She wheels purposely away and out of sight.

“I think we’re aligned on the plan now, correct?” Veronica asks.  She leans slightly closer to the camera as she continues. “All I need to do is administer a small sedative to Five to help sell the ruse that she’s a dead zombie. After that, I’ll wait for Steve. I’m confident I can handle this part on my own. So, are we ready to end the call now?”

Janine shakes her head, her sharp gaze fixed on Veronica. “Not quite yet, Ms. Mshell,” she says firmly. “There’s a bag behind you. Do you see it?” Veronica glances back, her eyes landing on a small tan backpack. “Yes, that one,” Janine confirms. “It’s the bag I gave to Mr. Sissay during the latest dead drop. Inside, you’ll find a headcam and headsets. Please make sure he has it—it’s essential for re-establishing contact with Runner Five once she’s out of Abel.”

Veronica gives a curt nod and steps again toward the camera to turn it off.

“Wait!” Sam says hurriedly.  Veronica freezes mid-step, her eyes flickering back towards the screen.

Sam's throat tightens.  Did he really have to say goodbye to Five so soon? He hates that he can’t be with her through her dangerous exit from Abel, even though it’s not like he can comfort Five when she’s unconscious.   “One last thing,” he says.  “I love you, Five.” 

 Five’s lips curl into a soft smile, one of the few movements left she could still manage. Her eyes lock onto his, and for a moment, there’s no distance between them. “I love you too,” she says warmly. “Try to relax, Sam. I’ll see you soon.”

Chapter Text

“We should have heard from them by now.” Sam mutters for the eighth time.  He continues his pacing through the comms room, winding between the chairs, and narrowly avoiding stepping on Janine’s foot.  She glares at him. 

To Janine’s left, Maxine leans forward, intently watching Paula’s headcam feed.  Paula stands in a thicket of trees about two miles from Abel.  A few paces away, Jody shifts her weight from foot to foot, as if her bouncing could make time speed up.   Sam knows exactly how she’s feeling.  Being so close to Five, but still just having to wait is excruciating.

But suddenly, Sam’s monitor flickers, static dancing across the screen.  He stops his pacing mid-step, and hurries back to his chair.  A blurry image appears, like a new camera feed is attempting to establish contact.  Sam’s fingers fly on controls. C’mon Five, stay with me. 

The audio signal comes through first with a deep male voice.

“Colonel De Luca, come in please.”

Janine quickly adjusts her headset frequency to the correct channel.  “Mister Sissay.  Sit rep, please?”  Her voice is calm; only her furrowed eyebrows betray her tension. 

The video feed blinks to life, image shaky at first before finally steadying.   Steve kneels before Five’s headcam, his broad torso taking up most of the frame.  Behind him, a massive bonfire blazes. Steve’s eyes tear from the heavy smoke curling around him.   

“I’m here, Janine.” Five says, before Steve could answer.  Her voice is raspy, but stronger than Sam had dared to hope.  “Massive headache though, thanks to all the drugs Veronica’s been pumping me with today.  All this smoke isn’t exactly helping.”

"Why do you have a fire, Steve? I mean, it’s not like you’re planning to—uh—throw Five into it. Right?” Sam asks, laughing nervously. 

“Of course not,” Steve says, sounding amused instead of insulted.  “The fire’s our alibi.  The guards by Abel expect it—it’d draw suspicion if I wasn’t getting rid of the zombie.”  He straightens, and throws a bag of zombie limbs into the fire- evidently Veronica sent out a few real zombie corpses as a part of Five’s cover.

“Great,” Five mutters, and the headcam feed lurches to the side, then straight-up- Five must have climbed to her feet.  “Well, smoke inhalation beats getting burned to a crisp, I guess.  Or getting dragged back to Abel.”

“Level with me, Five,” Sam says, as Five takes a few tentative steps like she’s testing her legs.  “How are you feeling like, really.”

“I’m ok.” Five answers quickly.

Steve nods.  “She’s looking better than when she first woke up from that sedative.  Veronica said the effects would wear off quickly.”

Maxine’s ears perk up at the mention of Five’s medical condition.  “Janine, you mind switching with me?  You can keep tabs on Jody and Paula.  There are a few zombies over here to keep an eye on.” Maxine points to a cluster of 3 zombies about 2 miles out from Jody and Paula’s position, shambling aimlessly.  “But otherwise, they’re just waiting for Five.”

Janine nods, and both women adjust their headsets.  Maxine switches her focus to Five.

 “On a scale of 1-10,” Maxine asks calmly, “With 10 being ‘ready to run a marathon’ and 1 being ‘I can’t move,’ how are you feeling Five?”  It’s a trick Maxine often uses with the runners when she suspects she’s not getting an honest answer from them.

A slight pause from Five.  “Um, a 6?” 

Maxine doesn’t miss a beat, and pulls up Five’s medical logs on her computer terminal.  “Better than the time Van Ark forced you to run chained to his truck, but slightly worse compared to when you almost drowned on the Comansys ship rescuing me from mind control?”

Five gives a dry laugh.  “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“And uh,” Sam says awkwardly, not sure how to bring this up with an audience. But Janine’s busy coordinating with Jody and Paula, while Steve throws even more zombie body parts in the fire, so perhaps this is as private as it gets. “How are you holding up, like, mentally?”

“I’m… “ Five says, taking a deep breath, then coughs out a lung full of smoke.  “I’m not going to pretend this isn’t a lot.  But I’m kinda in fight or flight mode here.  I just want to get back to Noah Base, to you." 

Sam nods before remembering that Five can’t see him.   “We will get you home. But promise me we’ll talk when you get back?”

“I promise.”  Five says.  Sam knows she means it. 

As Five prepares to run, Maxine gently taps Sam’s shoulder. “I think it’s time to merge our channels with Runners 4, 5 and 23.  Janine says she’s on it.”  Sam barely had time to nod his head before he hears Jody’s calm voice coming through his headset. 

“Hi Five.  We’re waiting for you in the woods outside of Abel, ready to take you with us.”  Jody confirms. 

“Good to hear your voice, Jody,” Five says, and Sam can hear the smile in her voice.  Five’s headcam sweeps slowly over the area beyond the bonfire, revealing a familiar grassy field stretching out in front of Abel. The terrain is mostly flat, with a gentle hill rising to the northeast. Sam winces at the sight. He used to feel comforted by this open field; Janine always said its wide expanse made it nearly impossible for enemies to sneak up on their township. But now, those same features that once made Abel their fortress are working against Five. Behind her, Abel looms on its hilltop—the highest vantage point for miles.   Sigrid’s guards, stationed high on Abel’s walls, could still easily catch her escaping.    

 “Ok, so where do I go now?” Five says, troubled by the same thoughts as Sam.   

“I will direct you, Runner Five.” Janine instructs, her authoritative tone strangely comforting to Sam.   “You must listen to my instructions carefully-I know the exact locations of Abel’s guard towers, and I’ll ensure you avoid their line of sight. You’re not out of danger yet.”    

Janine instructs Five to run to her 11 o’clock, and Five takes off with a quick wave goodbye to Steve.  Her running gait is all wrong- her upper body sways out of sync with her footfalls.  At one point, Five staggers and almost falls, but throws her arms out to steady herself just in time.   It’s heartbreaking to watch, but Sam feels immensely proud of her ability to endure.  Runner Five always keeps running.   

Five crosses the field, following a strange zig-zagging path that keeps her out of the guards’ line of sight.   “Five, I see you!” Paula exclaims once she gets closer.  “Just a little further- you’re almost at the tree line.”

“Can we please go get her?” Jody asks with frustrated impatience.  “Janine, I really don’t understand why we have to stay here. Five’s already out in the open anyway, what’s it going to matter if there’s two more of us?”

“No,” Janine says with a clinical coolness.  “No. Stay exactly where you are, Runners 23 and 4. Two groups of runners in the open are far more likely to attract the guards’ attention. Remain hidden in the tree line.”

“Runner Five,” Janine continues as Five’s head cam bobs onward, “You are now approaching an area visible to the guard turrets.  The only safe path is to your eight o’clock.”

“That’s downwind of Steve’s fire,” Five protests, “I’m going to cough out a lung that way!”

“I know,” Janine concedes, but there is no apology in her voice, “The smoke will hopefully obscure your movements from the guards.  It is not ideal, but it’s safer than being shot.”

Five turns as instructed, her headcam feed disappearing into the smoke. The smoke makes the feed nearly incomprehensible—the trees in front of her no longer visible in the unsettling haze. If even the camera couldn’t see her, neither could the guards, Sam reminds himself. Still, it feels wrong to watch her vanish so completely.

But then, Five abruptly appears on Paula’s headcams, her unsteady silhouette framed by a background of dense black smoke.  She’s coughing, but still moving forward.

When Five finally reaches the other runners, Paula and Jody throw their arms around her.  Sam exhales in relief, and presses his hand to the monitor, as if he could teleport himself there too. 

“No offense, Five, but you look like hell. And the smell, it’s, ugh….a sort of a barbecued zombie odor?”   Jody says, wrinkling her nose in exaggerated distaste. 

“Veronica made Five a convincing zombie,” Maxine says wryly. 

Paula grins, pulling Five closer.  “Welcome to team ‘not-a-zombie,’ Five,”.  Sam smiles for the first time in hours.  Come on, Five.  Come on home.  Right now, home wasn’t Abel.  Home was anywhere he and Five could be together. 

Paula and Jody offer the stretcher, but she waves them off. “I’m fine. Running through the woods is better than running through smoke. I can do this.”

Five falls in step beside Paula, and Jody takes the lead, allowing Noah Base to scout the path ahead on her headcam.  Normally, leading was Five’s job as the fastest runner, but Five’s pace is much slower than her normal.  She’d run for her life several times today, plus was still dealing with the after-effects of Veronica’s drug concoctions. Now that Sam can see Five better through Paula’s headcam, he notices how loosely her clothing hangs compared to when she’d arrived at Abel.    

“We can take it slow, Five.”  Paula reassures, calmly to ground Five.  “That’s the good thing about being ‘presumed dead’--no one’s chasing us now.”

“And me and Maxine will keep you clear of the zoms,” Jody adds. 

In Noah Base’s comms room, Janine nods with approval.  “Quite right, Ms. Marsh. Continue at that pace, Runners 5 and 23.” Janine mutes her mic and then addresses the room.  “Dr. Myers, I believe you can manage the comms now that all three runners are together?” 

Maxine gives a curt nod.

Satisfied, Janine removes her headset and gestures for Sam to do the same. “Mr. Yao, come with me.”

“No,” Sam says in shock.  Did Janine think just because Five was out of Abel, Sam would be able to focus on something else?  “Can’t it wait Janine, I need to hear what’s going on.  I’m not sure what possibly be more important than this, but-“

“Mr. Yao,” Janine interrupts, her tone stern but her eyes are bright with excitement.  “I was going to request that you accompany me to the lift.   I intend to greet Runner Five as she returns.  You do want to see Runner Five, don’t you?”

Sam sputters, “I—yes, of course, I-”

Janine smiles, and Sam quickly puts down his headset.  When he reaches the door, he pauses.  “Keep her safe, Maxine?”

“Of course,” Maxine says without taking her eyes away from the screen. “I love her too, you know.”

The serpentine halls of Noah Base stretch endlessly before them.  With every step, Sam imagines the countless horrors that could be befalling Five- Sigrid’s patrols, hordes of zombies, V-types.  And did Janine need to walk that slow?

Finally, they reach the Runners’ Ready Room outside the lift. The utilitarian space has all the essentials for returning runners—a first aid kit, water bottles, sunscreen—but Sam barely glances at them. He rushes to the spare headsets charging on the wall and slips one on.

“How’s it going?” Sam says the instant the headset is over his ears. 

“Relax, Sam,” Five says her voice light despite the strain. “You haven’t missed anything.  In fact, we’re here.”

Here? Sam excitedly glances towards the lift.  He watches as it slowly rises to the surface, and then waits for a lifetime for it to come back down to the basement level.  But finally, the lift shutters to the stop, doors slowly opening…

Chapter Text

The lift doors slide open with a painful slowness, but finally creak all the way open.   For a moment, Sam and Five stare at each other on opposite sides of the threshold.  One month and eight days. That's how long it had been since he'd last been able to look at her with his own eyes.  

And a flurry of motion, Five and Sam race towards each other, arms extended wide.  They collide in a hug that is equal parts tears and laughter.  Five smells of sweat, fire, and zombies- Jody wasn’t exaggerating about how bad it is- but Sam doesn’t care.  He clings to Five, gently brushing away some of the grimy soot that mingles with her tears. 

Sam presses his face to the top of her forehead.  “I’m really glad you’re back, Five,”  he whispers, voice shaking like he’d just run for his life too.

She gives a choked laugh.  “Yeah, same.  I… I really missed you.  All of you.”  She says thickly, finally disengaging.  Behind her, Paula and Jody are stowing their headsets in their chargers, giving Sam and Five a brief moment to themselves.  Soon though the room is filled with people- Maxine, Peter with Baby Sara, Tom, and yes, even Amelia, all crowd the tiny Runner's Ready room.  

Janine steps forward, and Sam suddenly remembers she’s there. “You did a commendable job, Runner Five. Activating Abel’s lab defenses was crucial for our country’s collective safety. And your escape, despite the severe physical stress, was nothing short of remarkable.”

Maxine nods her agreement. “Speaking of physical stress, we need to get you checked out, Five. You’re overdue for… well, let’s just say, about thirty different checkups.” She says, smiling warmly.  “I’m so glad you’re back.” 

Amelia scrunches her nose, staying as far away from Five as she can.  “I think we’re all getting second-hand smoke from sharing the air with you, Five.” she said.  “You smell absolutely rancid.  Good to see you back and all, but please, don’t come near me again until after you’ve had at least 5 showers.  And you too, Sam, Paula, Jody- you reek by simply being near her.”  Amelia quickly leaves.  

"No offense Five, but she has a point." Peter says.   He bounced Sara on his knee from a distance, clearly not eager to get to close to any of the returning runners either.  

"I know you are tired, Runner Five," Janine says, even sounding somewhat sympathetic, "But we should debrief while the information from the Netrophil agent is fresh.  There might be information we can put to good use immediately and-"

"No," Maxine interrupts.  "Doctor first."  

Five closes her eyes, and Sam gently rubs her back.  The Noah Base residents create a lot of hubbub,  especially for someone who spent most of the last week alone in the punishment cells.  "What do you want, Five?" Sam asks her.  

"I-can i have a minute?  I've been in these same clothes for i don't even know how long and I'd love to shower.  And then I'll come visit you, Maxie, Janine," She said, seeing that both women looked ready to protest.  

Sam doesn't wait for an answer, he grabs Five by the hand and pulls her towards the door.  

After everyone quickly hit the showers, Five and Sam visit Maxine for a check-up as promised.

Sam helps lift Five up on the exam table, and is startled again by how underweight she is.

“How are you feeling, Five?” Maxine says quietly as she measures her pulse.

“I’m fine- “ Five says automatically, but revises quickly after Maxine’s scowl. “I’m really tired, a bit sore, but I do feel like I’ll be ok.” 

Maxine frowns slightly as she examines her further. “You’ve lost five kilograms, Five. And you didn’t have much to lose. Start eating again slowly—fresh fruits and vegetables, a bit of protein. Don’t overdo it.” She handed Five some lotion for the raw marks on Five’s wrists from the punishment cell, apologizing for not having prescription-grade numbing cream. “It’s the best I can do for now. I wish we could run a blood test to see what those drugs did to your system, but for tonight, rest is the priority. Come see me in the morning if there are any changes.”

Her voice softened as she adds, “Sam, stay with her. All night. Just in case she needs anything.”

Sam’s replies immediately, “You couldn’t drag me away if you tried.”

Five smiles.  “We should go, Sam.  Janine mentioned she wants to speak with me, and I’ve only got so much energy left before I collapse in my bed.” 

“Wait” Maxine says, stopping them from leaving.   “Just one more thing.”

Five pauses, turning back. “Yes?”

Maxine’s expression is gentle, yet serious. “Not tonight, but soon—over the next few weeks—I want you to talk to someone. Me, Paula, whomever you prefer. I’m concerned about you, Five. Both as your friend who loves you, and as your physician. You’ve endured so much trauma while in captivity. It’s not enough for me to heal the physical wounds. The mental toll needs to be addressed, too.”

Sam braces himself for her resistance, remembering how Five had argued against a similar request years ago after her mind-control by Moonchild. But this time, there was no defiance.

“Thank you. I agree,” Five says softly. Sam smiles widely, knowing how much effort it cost her to admit she needs help. He’s never admired someone as much as he admires Five.

Maxine embraces her cautiously, careful not to press against her bruised and malnourished body. Then, she lets Five go.

After Five’s treatment, they visit Janine’s office for a full mission report.  Janine insists that Five recounts every detail about Abel's defenses, the wellbeing (or lack of it)  of Abel's citizens, and everything Niki had revealed regarding Netrophil. Sam found himself zoning in and out of the briefing.  He surmises that Five had learned about Jerry, and that Noah Base would soon be embarking on missions to contact him.  But mostly, he pays attention to the feeling of Five’s hand in his, and the comforting sound of Five’s voice.  When Five is practically about to fall over in exhaustion, Janine concludes that she can get some rest. 

At last,  Sam and Five are finally alone in their own room.  Five lays in their bed, eyes barely open and clutching her blue bear to her chest.  She had changed into a paper of comfy sweatpants that were her usual pj’s. 

“You want to sleep? You finally can now, Five,” Sam says gently.  

Five nods, but her eyes stay open.  She props her head up with two pillows.  “Yeah, I’m really tired.  I haven’t had a proper bed in a while. But I think I need to keep a promise to you first.  You wanted to talk?” 

Sam shifts closer to her.  “I wanted to talk about what’s bothering you.  You’re not yourself.” 

She purses her lips, and Sam gently brushes the hair from her face. “I hate the Owen’s dead, “Five begins slowly.  “He just- Ian just shot him--and wouldn’t stop.”

Sam rolls closer to her and gives her shoulders a tight squeeze.  “I hate that Owen’s dead too.  We all do.  And I heard that you were right there when he was killed. I’m so sorry you had to see that.” 

“Me too.  And also, now that I’ve been thrown in the punishment cells, I know exactly how awful it is.  And I just left my friends to deal with that, all by themselves. I abandoned the people I care about.” 

“Five, you couldn’t have stayed” Sam says.  “Staying wouldn’t have helped—you know that. At best, it would have been more work for Veronica and Nadia to keep hiding you. At worst… Sigrid would have killed you.”  

She’s looking down, twisting the fur of her bear with her fingers.  Sam strokes her face softly until she meets his eyes again.  “Five, we sometimes we act like you’re an indestructible superhero, and to be honest, there is a lot of evidence to support that but… you’re a human being.  You literally can’t do it all by yourself. Coming back to Noah Base and doing what you can here- that's the best way to help our friends.” 

“You’re right,” Five says quietly, although the stress lines of guilt are not smoothed from her face.  “I know you’re right.” 

Sam nods reassuringly “ What happened to you in Abel… it was awful. You’re going to need time to heal. But even before that, before you were captured, something was already upsetting you, wasn’t it?”

Five hesitates, then nods.  “That’s true.”    

 “I think...”  Sam pauses, trying to making his thoughts sound un-accusing.  “I think I figured out why.  You and Janine, you planned it, didn’t you?  You planned to get captured, and she forbade you from telling me because she didn’t think I could handle it?  That’s why you were so distant?”

Five stares at him open-mouthed.  “What? Sam, no.  If we had planned something like that, we would have told you.  You can handle a lot.  I really did get captured; ask Janine, she’ll tell you.”

“Then what IS bothering you?”  Sam presses. 

Five turns away from him and sighs.  “I-“

“You promised me back at the fire, you know, the one Steve definitely wasn’t going to throw you in.” Five giggles a bit at this, and Sam smiles at her before becoming serious again, “You promised me that you be honest with me.” 

“I know, and I’m not trying to lie to you,” Five says, voice trembling.  “It’s just that—it’s  complicated, and I don’t even know how to explain what’s happening to me, sometimes.”

Sam snuggles up against her shoulder.  “I have time.  But just try to explain, won’t you Five?  Before you left for Abel, you mentally went somewhere I couldn’t reach you. Then, you physically went somewhere I couldn’t follow. But you’re back now. And I just want to be wherever you are—in every sense of the phrase.”

Five wraps her arms around Sam and rests her cheek on his head.  He takes a deep breath in, breathing in the smell of her cucumber melon shampoo and feeling safer than he had in a month.

“I… yeah.. ok, I’ll try.”  She doesn’t speak for a few minutes, just stays just like that.  Sam doesn’t mind, doesn’t rush her.

“My brain isn’t my own.  Hasn’t been for awhile now.  I hear Moonchild’s voice in my head."

“Oh,” Sam says, feeling alarmed.  He wonders for a second if he should call for Janine or the doctors, but sees how exhausted and vulnerable Five looks.  He takes a deep breath.  “Does she make you do… you know, evil Moonchild-y things? Like the last time in the ship, or in Abel?” 

Five shivers at the memory, and Sam kicks himself for bringing it up.  She’s never quite forgiven herself for killing those people or hurting him and Jody, even if it wasn’t her fault.  “No, it’s not like that. She actually helps me—comes to me in times of trouble. Like when I was headed into Abe to rescue Kefilwe, Moonchild helped me figure out something was wrong.”.

“Do you… do you think that is PTSD?” Sam asks.  “Maybe the inner voice is actually you, but it takes on Moonchild's voice because of the mind-control you experienced?”

“I thought of that,”  Five admits reluctantly. “I do think I’m traumatized. Maybe I have PTSD. But dealing with feelings—well, I’m not great at that. It’s easier to shove everything down and keep running."

“That’s not healthy, Five.”

“I know,” she murmurs. “It always comes back. In those punishment cells, I had nothing but my thoughts—things I hadn’t dealt with. Getting lost in my head is its own kind of torture.”

Sam nods solemnly.  “I’m sorry, Five. We need to be better at helping you—help you through the trauma. Maxine and I have talked about it while you were gone, and we’re going to help you deal with everything.”

“Thanks Sam.  I—I’ll try to stop pushing you away as much.  But also, at risk of sounding crazy, I think the Moonchild voice in my head is real?   I think I can be traumatized and hear her at the same time. She’s told me things I couldn’t possibly know—like remembering Comansys access codes. And they were right. I’m observant, but not that observant.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.  So, you do have Moonchild in your mind.”

Five shifts away from him on the bed, looks surprised.  “Yeah… aren’t you more scared about this? I just told you I have one of our worst enemies in my head, mind-controlling me, and you don’t seem that fussed about it?”

Sam “I mean, I am fussed about it, Five.  Obviously, I want you all to myself, without any Moonchild around.  But I know the difference between you and her. You’re you right now—you’ve been yourself for a long time.”

“But what about the times when I zone out?”

“Well, you said that she mostly helps you, right? Has there been any time she’s told you to do something that you didn’t want to do?”

“She asked me to discharge my weapon once.  On a mission, when I was supposed to be sneaky.”

“And did you?” Sam asks.

“No, of course not.” Five says indignantly. “ I didn’t want to.”

“Exactly, Five. You’re in control.”

“But what if I’m not?”  Five asks.  She looks scared and small.

Sam sighs deeply. “At some point, you’ll need to tell Janine and the doctors about this. You need help, Five. But that doesn’t mean you’re broken. You’re the strongest, most resilient person I know—and I’m not just talking about your running.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Five says.  Her eyes well with tears, but they don’t spill over.  “And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I went away. Both to Abel and for not talking you about how I’m feeling.  I’m going to talk to you and to Maxine about what’s going with me more now.  It does feel like it’s helping.” 

Sam smiles. “I’m glad, Five.  I feel better talking about it too. And I think this is just the beginning of things getting better.”  He kisses her cheek gently.  Five lays quietly by his side for about 5 minutes, and Sam suspects she’s fallen asleep. But when he reaches over to turn out the lights, she snuggles into him again. 

“Sam?” she says blearily, sounding half-asleep. 

“Yeah, Five?”

“You know what kept me sane in Abel—through the punishment cells, the missions for Sigrid, even hearing Moonchild’s voice??”

“No, what’s that?”  Sam asks.

“Something we talked about, right before I left,” Five says, pauses and smiles at the memory.  “You said you were always watching me.”

“I’m pretty sure you called me creepy.”

“Oh, you definitely are,” Five says, and he feels the mattress gently move to the time of her laughter.  “But also, I could feel it the entire time we were apart.  Feel how you were watching out for me, fighting so hard to bring me home.  So, thank you.”

It’s dark in their subterranean room in Noah Base, so dark that Sam can’t even make out an outline of Five.    But he doesn’t need his eyes to see her.  “We’re a team,” Sam says into the darkness.  “You’re saving the world.  And me, I’ll always be looking out for you.”