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Jack let him stay.
Maybe if he kept repeating it he’d be able to believe it.
As is, he just couldn’t. Maybe Javic would have, way back when, despite it all, but Jack? He didn’t strike him as particularly forgiving, especially after all John put him through. It didn’t matter that John didn’t think he was guilty or believed that he did everything he could to make it less bad than it could have been, because Jack would always blame him for the death of his brother.
Except he didn’t seem to, and that was somehow even worse.
But John wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he kept his head down, didn’t flirt with Jack or Eye Candy, and did the work he was given efficiently and in a timely manner.
Of course, even when he was doing everything right, Jack would take issue with him.
He and Ianto had just come back from ‘weevil hunting’, which John understood to actually mean ‘fucking in the SUV’, and Jack paused by John’s work station to say, “John, come to my office when you have a moment.”
In that moment, John felt like a naughty child told to stay after class so the teacher could scold him – a feeling he knew well, on account of all the times he’d been naughty in school. He liked to think he started his conning career early. Unfortunately, getting caught was a feeling he never enjoyed. Unless he was caught having sex.
He had no idea what issue Jack could have taken with him, though. Maybe he flirted too much with Gwen? But she seemed to warm up to him, knowing that he knew nothing would come of the teasing, and John didn’t think she would complain to the boss before directly letting him know it bothered her.
Could it have been lovely Toshiko? They spent a few nights together, and John was under the impression she had fun at the time. She didn’t strike him as the kind of person to regret the morning after, let alone draw him into trouble over her guilt. Besides, she seemed too shy to bring up her sex life to Jack.
So that left Owen. The medic was a tough nut to crack, so John didn’t try too hard. When he did tease him, Owen gave as good as he got. No, it couldn’t be him, either.
The only possibility John could conceive of was that Jack himself wanted him gone.
All that thinking meant he lost his focus. Jack had given him an out to wait as long as he needed, but now that John couldn’t even pretend to work – he didn’t want to ruin the device Jack had told him to fix even further – he had nothing to occupy him.
He’d have to face Jack.
He put his tools away slowly, cleaning up his work space. Whether Jack gave him a two-week notice or asked him to leave immediately, John wouldn’t be getting back to work. It would save him time later. Wouldn’t save any for Tosh, though, which was a shame. She seemed to be getting more sleep ever since John joined the team. They all did.
John would have thought Jack cared more about his team not running themselves to the ground than he did about having to see John every day, but apparently not.
Once his workspace was mostly clean, John forced himself up. The walk to Jack’s office seemed to take forever, and by the time he made it to the door his stomach was filled with enough dread that a simple push could have made him throw up.
He took a deep breath, steeling himself and plastering on a flirty grin before pushing Jack’s office door open.
“You wanted to see me?” he said, as sexily as he could manage under the circumstances.
Jack looked up from the paperwork he was working on. He seemed startled. Maybe he hadn’t expected John to come to him so quickly. “Yes.”
“Well? Like what you see?” John asked.
Jack rolled his eyes and smirked. “Yes.”
John was taken aback. In the weeks he had worked for Torchwood, Jack had never replied to any of his flirting with come-ons of his own. John had almost stopped trying.
“Are you going to do something about it?”
Jack stood up. “Yes.” He walked around his desk and stopped a mere two feet from John. Jack’s office was suddenly far too small. “Do you want me to?” Jack asked.
John swallowed. After all this time…he wasn’t sure he did.
“John,” Jack said, and John forced himself to meet his eyes. They were unbearably open, almost green in the light of the Hub. “I know we joke around a lot, but…I really do want you here. I like having you on the team. I got the feeling you don’t really understand that.”
“Of course you like having me!” John deflected. “I’m smart and sexy, and I can fire a gun better than anyone else. I’m a valuable member.”
“John.”
John still wasn’t used to hearing his new name come from Jack’s lips.
Jack sighed. “Here’s what’s gonna happen.” He took a step back, and suddenly John could breathe again. “Go in the hole.”
John startled. “What?”
Jack pointed at the covered manhole in the floor of his office. “I’ll join you in a moment.”
It’s been much longer for Jack than it had been for John since the last time Jack used that tone with him. It still sent shivers down his spine, still made him want to comply, do whatever Jack told him to, just to make him happy.
He’d fought that urge often in their time together. There was nothing he enjoyed more than being a brat.
This time, he did as he was told.
It was a lot bigger down there than John had expected. The bed was a standard double, but that would be more than enough for sex – at least, that's what John assumed he was down here for. There was only one side table, though the lube and condoms were already out and resting atop it, and a dresser shoved against the wall. On the other side of the room there was a door leading to what John assumed was a bathroom, and a chair.
A chair from which one Mr. Ianto Jones was now rising.
“It’s about time,” he said, approaching John. “I was wondering when you’d show.”
“What’s going on?”
“I thought you of all people would be able to tell.” Ianto shoved John’s jacket off his shoulders and began to pull his shirt out of his trousers. John was always down for sex, and he wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but Ianto didn’t like him. In fact, he’d go so far as to say Ianto hated him, in that quiet, passive-aggressive way he did so well.
“Are you joining in or just watching?” John asked. “Or is Jack the one watching?”
Ianto had divested him of his shirt and belt by now, and was making quick work of his trousers. “You’ll see.”
“Don’t I have a say in this?”
Ianto’s eyes flickered up to his face, then back down to where his hands were working. He must have had pretty strict orders from Jack. Ianto didn’t strike him as the sort of man to coerce a lover.
Then again, Maybe Ianto hated him just enough to become that sort of person.
As soon as Ianto was done undressing him, Jack came sliding down the ladder. He had divested his shirt, his bracers hanging at his sides.
“Get on the bed,” he ordered John, and again, John complied without question as Ianto began helping Jack with his clothes, too.
John wasn’t sure why he was going along with this. Sure, sex with Jack wasn’t as easy to come by as it used to be, but submitting was a new low for him. He’d kill and con his way into Jack’s bed, but doing as he was told was a step too far.
Then again, this was probably goodbye. One last hurrah before Jack sends him on his way. Because no matter what Jack said, there was no way he’d meant it. No way he’d want John around after this.
Jack was right, when they’d first met again, in Bar Reunion and then on the roof of that office building. John might not have let himself go, but he had aged, and no amount of chases and money could change that. Sure, he’d have a much longer life than the average 21st century human, but he was already halfway through it, and it showed. Jack may have aged as well, but he wore it much more gracefully, and for the first time in his life, John was ashamed to be seen naked.
But he spread himself out on the bed, sucking in his stomach and letting his knees fall open, so maybe Jack would focus on something John was still proud of instead of the wrinkles and cellulite that had joined the scars that marred his skin.
Unfortunately, once Jack was naked and turned towards the bed, he took a long moment to look John up and down. The smirk he wore seemed genuine enough, but John knew Jack had perfected it centuries before.
“Good girl,” he praised, and that still made John’s insides clench and his body burn. He believed it always would. “Now, I’m gonna show you how much I like having you around. And just so you know to believe it, Ianto will be a witness.”
John looked at Ianto. He had discarded his suit jacket and his shirtsleeves were rolled up, but his tie had yet to come loose. Still, the bulge growing in his trousers was impossible to miss. Either he was a sadist, or he actually found John attractive.
John would bet on it being the former.
Jack climbed on the bed and crawled on top of John. John watched his full, heavy cock swing beneath him with undisguised interest. That was one of the things he loved so much about Jack: his massive cock.
And John didn’t use the word lightly. Jack had a real monster down there, the kind that was more a hindrance than anything. Back when they were first partnered Jack complained that very few people have ever managed to take him properly. It took them a considerable amount of the five years they spent together getting John to take him effortlessly, hindered more so by their bodies resetting every two weeks.
But now John was older and even more experienced. Then again, he hadn’t bottomed in a while. His eyes flicked to Ianto once more, who was also watching that cock, and he couldn’t help but wonder.
“Eyes on me,” Jack said, and John complied. “You’re being awfully quiet.”
“Do you want me to beg?” Jack didn’t like it when he begged; never did. He thought it was never genuine enough, at least not enough to off-set how annoying it was. John was very good at annoying.
“You don’t have to.”
“So stop complaining and fuck me already.”
Jack paused. For an impossibly long moment, he simply looked at John, considering. John resisted the urge to squirm. Instead, he reached down and began fondling Jack’s cock.
He was only half hard, but already John had trouble wrapping his hand around him. He only managed to touch the tip of his middle finger to his thumb’s when he stroked in a very particular direction.
Jack groaned and dropped to his elbows, his cock swinging infinitely lower. His breath puffed against John’s face, but John’s eyes were focused elsewhere.
When he had been with Jack the first time, all those years ago, he had a somewhat different genital configuration. He swapped a few times since, but after realising he was likely to stick around the twenty-first century for a while he decided to settle for something mostly incongruous. Something he could use to blend in with the locals.
He may have overcompensated slightly.
John’s cock was no great sight. In fact, it was a little below average for humans of this era. He liked it that way; it was more about skill than size, anyway, and it was easier to go bigger with toys than smaller. Toshiko liked it well enough.
But now, nudging tips with Jack, he couldn’t help but feel a little inadequate. His cock was maybe a quarter of the length of Jack’s, a third of the girth. It was humiliating.
He could feel Ianto’s eyes boring into him, comparing them.
It was also incredibly arousing.
Jack followed his line of sight and grinned. “Now, isn’t that interesting?” he said, and with a smooth movement lowered his hips, grinding against John before settling in a position that allowed his cock to completely hide John’s.
John swallowed back a moan.
Jack’s cock was hot and pulsing against his, almost like a giant vibrator. John knew – though he would never admit – that given enough time he could come from this alone.
“Enjoying yourself?” Jack asked.
John wasn’t sure what the correct answer would be. “Get on with it.”
Jack stretched over him to reach for the lube, his cock dragging deliciously across John’s as he did so.
It was unlike him, to be so close after so little. It was the proximity to Jack, of course. Curse him.
Jack sat back on his hunches, finally releasing the pressure on John’s cock. He was suddenly cold, and couldn’t suppress a shiver. Ianto gave him a knowing look. John stuck his tongue out at him.
Jack chuckled. “Play nice.”
John flinched despite himself. So this was a test. Play nice, or get out. He could do that. Had been doing that. He’d show off for Jack’s boytoy and get them all off, and Jack would let him stay.
Now that he knew, it was a game he could win.
He arched his back and shifted his legs apart, presenting his arse as best he could in his position. His cock bobbed with the movement, but John ignored it; this was about Jack’s pleasure, not his own insecurities.
Jack looked at him. For a moment, John wondered if he was waiting for verbal consent.
When none was forthcoming, Jack proceeded anyway. Two fingers fit inside him easily, always had. Jack’s fingers. How long had it been since he felt them?
Soon enough there was a third, and then Jack was pushing in a fourth, and John was gasping like a fish out of water. He loved the stretch; the burn made him feel alive, like electricity coursing through his veins. It’s why he was so enthusiastic about Jack’s cock the first time.
The pain had barely muted by the time Jack pulled his fingers out and began lubing himself up. John was about to be impressed that Jack remembered just how he liked it, before realising he was probably just getting impatient. At least it didn’t make his erection flag even as his spirit soured. Jack wouldn’t like that. Jack wasn’t into that sort of play.
Then Jack was pushing in, and any coherent thought John might have had flew out the window. He was somehow bigger than John had remembered, stretching him to the very limit. He wouldn’t have been able to hold back the scream if he wanted to.
Jack took it slow, every minute thrust in like pouring magma in John’s insides, every slow drag out like salve for his burns. He was hot all over, twitching and writhing in equal attempts to get more and less of that wonderful cock inside him. Jack was rarely so gentle, but John figured it was necessary after so long. After all, there was a level of tightness that was uncomfortable.
He didn’t beg. He bit his tongue and moaned through his teeth and shut his eyes tight, but he didn’t beg.
And then Jack was all the way in, and John could taste him in the back of his throat, salty musk and sweat, and Jack was leaning down further and scooping John into his arms, wrapping around him tight, as tight as John must feel around him, small and insignificant and all-encompassing.
John took a deep, shuddering breath that he passed off as getting used to the stretch rather than repressing the tears pricking behind his eyes.
“So good for me, John,” Jack whispered in his ear, his head tucked around the side of John’s head opposite where Ianto was sitting, and John simply had to see.
But if Ianto was jealous, he didn’t show it. In fact, his cock was out, already leaking in his hand, and his eyes were dark and bottomless.
John closed his eyes again.
“Wanted this so long,” Jack muttered as his hips began to move again, shallow, rolling thrusts. “Love having you here. Need you.”
Jack’s heart was pounding in time with his, so much bigger and stronger. He felt like he was drowning in the thrum of it, like without it his own heart would stop. How long could Jack keep this position? How long would he want to?
It still hurt, but it was getting easier. Jack’s hips were picking up the pace, and the ache in John’s arse was slowly lessening.
On some level, he didn’t even feel it anymore. It was a strange sort of out of body experience, where Jack’s voice became static in his ears and Jack’s cock became cotton in his arse, and nothing hurt but nothing felt good, either, and when Jack bit his neck he jolted back into his body with the sudden realisation that he had gone soft, in more ways than one.
If Jack noticed, he didn’t seem to care. There was a tiny jolt of perverse pleasure that maybe John’s cock was too small to notice, whether hard or flaccid, before it was drowned out by the knowledge that it simply didn’t matter. Jack would use him for pleasure either way, and John would let him.
Every time.
When Jack came his arms tightened around John, hard enough to hurt, just enough to make his ribs creak without snapping or bruising.
And then Jack kissed him, deeply, languidly, as he slowly released his hold and pulled back. John did his best to kiss back with just as much fervour if not more, but it was so difficult when he couldn’t feel his own lips.
Jack’s hands remained on his body as he pulled back, stroking his skin as he lay down beside him.
“I did good, right?” John found himself asking. He shouldn’t have; Jack would tell him how well he did on this test either way. But he needed to know.
“You did amazing,” Jack praised.
John closed his eyes and sighed. It didn’t feel genuine, but it would do.
“Hey, you–” Jack started, and his hand was travelling lower on John’s torso. “You didn’t….”
It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Jack was getting at. When did he become such a prude, John wondered.
“No, I did,” John lied.
“But there’s no….”
“Shouldn’t be. Not designed for that.” Lying was easy. Lying was what Jack did every single day, whenever he looked at John with those soft eyes and easy smile.
“I thought you liked…leaving your mark.”
John snorted. He didn’t stick with anyone long enough to leave his mark, not after Jack.
“Well.” Despite what John had said, Jack’s hand continued its journey, cording through coarse hair growing over John’s pubic mound.
“What are you doing?” John asked.
“I’m not done showing my appreciation,” Jack purred, and John’s stomach was suddenly filled with dread again.
But he couldn’t say no, could he? Jack wanted to do this, and John would let him. He couldn’t afford not to.
“Jack.” It was Ianto who spoke, and Jack’s hand froze at the base of John’s cock. “I don’t think he wants to.”
When John turned his head to look, Ianto’s eyes were clear and blue, none of the darkness that had filled them before. His cock was half hard, but it was clear he hadn’t come, either. Damn his observance. John was beginning to suspect Ianto was mildly empathic.
“John?” Jack asked, his voice suddenly small. As though he genuinely hadn’t noticed. As though he was actually sorry for it.
“It’s fine,” John said quickly. “You can if you want to.”
Jack’s hands were no longer on his skin, and that shouldn't have relieved him as much as it did. Jack sat up with a jolt.
“Fuck,” he said harshly. “Fuck, John, I– I didn’t– Did I?”
“What?” This wasn’t the reaction he had expected.
“Did I…rape you?” Jack’s voice was barely above a whisper.
“What? No. It’s fine.”
“John.”
“What?” John hissed, rising himself. “I didn’t say no, did I? I could have fought you off.”
“That’s not–”
“Yeah, yeah, enthusiastic consent and all. Well. I wanted this. I don’t need to get off for it to not be rape, you know.”
“So you didn’t come.”
Shit. “What about it?”
“Why would you feel the need to lie?”
“Cause I knew you’d get all…like this about it.”
“Like what?”
John considered his words carefully. He hadn’t meant to get into a fight; it could get Jack to push him away again. But he couldn’t let this stand, either. “Self righteous.”
Jack stared at him as though he’d been slapped. “John, I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Well, then, you shouldn’t have staked my remaining here on having sex with you.”
“What? I didn’t!”
“You don’t have to lie about it. I know you. I know what you’re like. You don’t have to coddle me.”
Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Ianto’s hand on his arm stopped him. Ianto looked at John intensely, those storm blue eyes boring holes into him. Definitely empathic.
“He wasn’t lying,” he said. “We really do like having you here. Jack could see you were skittish about it, and wanted to prove it in a way he thought you’d understand. This has all spiraled way out of control.”
“Not you too, Eye Candy.”
“Shut up and listen, John.” Ianto took a deep breath and rubbed at his eyes. “Fuck it. What will it take for you to believe us?”
John snorted. He didn’t have a good answer for that. He didn’t think he ever could believe them.
Ianto frowned at him. John checked his mental shields, but they were as strong as ever; if Ianto managed to get past them before, he’d have no trouble now. John wasn’t even sure Ianto knew what he was doing.
“You know, I think maybe Jack’s initial idea had merit.”
“What?” Jack and John said at the same time. A smirk was growing on Ianto’s lips.
“Have you ever heard the phrase ‘post nut clarity’?”
Before either one could respond, Ianto was on his knees by the bed, leaning over to take John’s cock into his mouth.
“What are you doing?” Despite himself, John was growing hard again.
“Continuing where I left off,” Jack said. “Showing you we want you.”
Ianto swallowed around him and moaned in confirmation.
“He’s good, isn’t he?” Jack said, and he was leaning into John’s personal space again, his pheromones permeating the air. John tried not to be too obvious in the way he was breathing it in. He missed that smell.
Ianto did something with his tongue that made John jolt. This wasn’t right.
“No,” he said weakly, though not in answer to Jack’s question. “No, stop.”
“Shhh,” Jack said. “See how much he wants you. He’s positively drooling. Look how desperate he is to please you.”
Ianto was flushed, his lips glistening with spit, his shirt dishevelled. His shoulder was shifting in that tell-tale way that made it obvious he was jerking himself off.
John couldn’t get his hand to obey him and push Ianto away.
Jack’s hands were stroking his skin, one scratching down his back, the other teasing his nipples.
“You’ve been so good for me, John,” Jack whispered into his ear before tugging at the lobe with his teeth. “Such a good girl, all these weeks. Of course I want you around.”
John shook his head. “Stop it. I don’t want you to lie to me.”
“It’s not lying.” The hand on his back travelled lower to tease at the top of his crack. “If I was lying I wouldn’t put in all this effort. You know I’m not that good. You always said so.”
John whimpered. He was close. He shook his head.
“Come on, John. Come for us. Show us you believe us.”
“No,” John moaned. He was shaking, trying to hold back. He refused to give in. If he came, that would be admitting that all his anguish had been for nothing. Everything he’d been telling himself had been lies, and John was never good at lying to himself. He was never that gullible. He couldn’t afford to be, in his line of work.
Except he wasn’t a con-man or a mercenary anymore. He was a torchwood member, part of the team.
“Come for us, John. There’s a good girl.”
It was inevitable, in the end. The floodgates opened and he filled Ianto’s mouth with his come, releasing a soul-deep moan as he did so. Ianto moaned back, his eyes fluttering closed as he came, himself.
And that was it, wasn’t it? John never got on his knees for someone he didn’t want to get off, not unless he was forced, and he never got off on it. Ianto wasn’t a selfish lover, he could tell, but even so; the gesture was the same. The connection was enough. Ianto wanted him.
Jack stroked his back soothingly as he slowly came down from a surprisingly intense orgasm, and that was different, too. When they were together, even after becoming disgustingly domestic in that time loop, Jack had never been particularly cuddly. He was always either ready for another run, ready for a gun fight, or fast asleep once they were done. This contact….
“I believe you,” John whispered, and the smile that broke across Jack’s face was worth all the heartache.