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The sunlight pierced through the elegant silk, shielding her pale skin from the burning yellow rays that compelled her to face the real world. She reached out to take the hand of the woman she loved, but it met the already cold fabric beside her.
-“Not again.”- A heavy sigh escaped her lips. Caitlyn had recently begun disappearing in the middle of the night, claiming it was for no particular reason, and that the problem was in Vi’s mind (though Vi knew her too well to believe that). At other times, if she was fortunate, Caitlyn would wake at the crack of dawn, as if possessed by a damn vampire.
Initially, Vi did as she was told to: she didn’t overthink it. But as time went on, the situation became more frequent, and her patience wore thin. So, she did what any worried girlfriend would do: she took Caitlyn’s eyepatch, lying abandoned on the wooden floor, and left the estate, praying that the taller woman hadn’t gone too far. Whatever higher power existed was certainly listening today.
The enforcer was perched down, head tilted back, gazing at the warm sky that bathed everything in shades of gold, especially the snow that enveloped her, strangely making her appear warm. Vi approached, searching for the right words—a task proving to be quite difficult.
-“Cupcake, you’re starting to scare the hell out of me. What are you doing here, anyway?”-A nervous chuckle punctuated her carefully prepared entrance, but it faded quickly as Caitlyn turned to face her. A single tear traced down her cheek, and though she struggled to meet Vi’s gaze, eventually giving up, a gentle smile meant to calm Vi’s inner turmoil settled instead on the taller woman’s face.
-“I cannot hide this from you, can I, Violet?”- The use of her full name stunned Vi, but she quickly took Caitlyn’s hand, reassuring her with a firm grip.
-“Then don’t.”- Caitlyn’s eyes finally met Vi’s, and with a sigh, she began to speak.
-“I didn’t want to interfere with your process, especially knowing how difficult this past month has been for you. Sharing my trivial problems would only make you put up your walls and focus on me instead.”-Vi was ready to refute her argument, but Caitlyn continued, hoping to forestall Vi’s objections and change her mind. -“I don’t recall if I ever told you how important Jayce was to me, and his disappearance has certainly taken a toll on me.”- Her eyes now brimmed with melancholy, clearly reminiscing about her partner. -“He… he was like an older brother to me. Always driving me mad, perhaps since I was eleven or twelve. I really don’t remember.”- Suddenly, the relaxed posture she had adopted, transformed into her duty-bound, resolute stance. -“But it’s something I can bear alone; there’s no need to burden you—”-
-“So, I’ve been grieving over my dead sister for over a month, and only now do you tell me you’ve been going through the same hell alone? Are you serious?”- Vi’s eyebrows knitted together. There was no anger in her voice, only disappointment. -“I thought we were going to be honest with each other.”-
-“I’m sorry, I never meant to upset you. I could never find the right time, I—”- Her breathing, already frantic, grew quicker, her trembling hands reached for her lover, silently begging her to stay. Vi’s gaze softened as she clutched Caitlyn, trying to steady her trembling frame and offer her the courage to speak. The taller woman buried her face onto her neck, holding her while her carefully manufactured armor started crumbling to reveal her true self: a fragile soul seeking only the comfort she’d long denied herself.
-“Whenever you feel ready, Cupcake.”-
Caitlyn held her breath, then began again.
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Cinnamon-scented candles had always been her mother’s favorite, especially for important occasions. The mere recognition of the smell was enough to twist the little girl’s stomach in disgust. “Not again,” she muttered to herself, dreading yet another ‘friends’ reunion where the only real agenda was closing business deals.
Against her will, she descended the golden staircase, rehearsing her best chuckles and fake smiles to meet Cassandra’s expectations. Upon reaching the first floor and spotting her mother with an unfamiliar man, her eyes widened in surprise. The young man, noticing her presence, flashed a charming grin and leaned forward to kiss her hand.
-“Oh! I didn’t see you there, darling. This is Jayce Talis, a student of Counselor Heimerdinger.”- Her mother’s tone was laced with pride as she gestured towards the boy. -“Jayce, I believe you can finally put a face to the name. This is my daughter, Caitlyn Kiramman.”- Cassandra placed both hands firmly on Caitlyn’s shoulders—a practiced gesture meant to compel her to “socialize.”
-“She’s even more beautiful in person, Counselor Kiramman,”- Jayce said smoothly, his words accompanied by an effortless smile.
Following the introduction, her mother extended an invitation for Jayce to join them for dinner, which he accepted without hesitation.
As usual, the food was exquisite, but the same couldn’t be said for the simmering jealousy brewing in Caitlyn’s heart. Could anyone blame her? Both her parents seemed utterly captivated by Jayce, as if he were the perfect child they’d always wanted but never had.
-“That’s right! I told him the exact same thing, but—”-
-“Thank you for the meal. I’ll be heading to my room now to study for tomorrow’s exams. It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Talis.”- Her words dripped with venom, aimed equally at her parents and Jayce. She rose from the table with stiff composure and stormed upstairs, each step an effort to suppress the bitter tears threatening to fall.
Once inside her room, with the door securely shut, the floodgates opened. Every emotion she had locked away poured out in an unstoppable stream, her thoughts circling relentlessly around the familiar ache of inadequacy.
-“Why is it never enough?”- The question echoed in her mind, looping endlessly as if the walls themselves whispered it back to her. She hugged her knees, pressing her forehead against them, trying to steady the spiral.
-“Why can’t I be that charming, that intelligent, that social? I’m just a failure. How could I ever be worthy of calling myself a Kiramman, a girl who’s not even likeable? I’m just a misfit, maybe they would be happier if I simply didn’t exist.”- Her trembling was now uncontrollable, her nails dug into her palms, trying to dismiss the feelings.
Her thoughts raced until a soft knock on the door jolted her back to reality. Quickly brushing away her tears, she opened it. Standing there was, perhaps, the last person she wanted to see at that moment. Still, she stepped aside, allowing him into her bedroom. Once seated on the edge of her bed, he began to speak.
-“I’m sorry. I… still struggle to stop myself from eavesdropping,”- he admitted, offering a sheepish smile. Her face flushed red before he even finished his sentence.
-“I know you don’t want to hear anything from me right now, but—”- He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. -“I wasn’t exactly socially graceful when I was younger either, you know? Even now, people tend to keep their distance. So, yeah, I guess I’ve always been a bit of a misfit too.”-
The words surprised her, but they felt hollow, like an empty consolation prize. Jayce noticed her skepticism and pressed on.
-“Still not convinced, huh? Alright, how about this: since I’ll be around here from time to time, why don’t we become friends? You can work on kicking those insecurities to the curb, and I can… well, not feel so alone. Deal?”-
-“Honestly? Sounds torturous,”- she said, her laughter breaking through the tension. He chuckled, his grin widening.
-“But I guess I don’t have better options, so… why not?”-
-“Then it’s a deal, sprout.”-
-“What does that even mean?!”- she exclaimed, her brows knitting together.
Before she could throw a pillow at him, he darted to the door, using it as a shield against her retaliation.
From the moment they met, the young Kiramman and Mr. Talis became inseparable. No matter the occasion—an ambitious academy project, Caitlyn’s first taste of alcohol, Jayce’s first heartbreak, or even coming out of the closet—they faced it together. They celebrated each other’s achievements as if they were their own, their bond slowly evolving into something far deeper than friendship. Without needing to say it aloud, they became siblings in every way that mattered. Two solitary souls now walked through life accompanied by the other.
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Snow suppressed the vivid colors of the landscape, mirroring the storm brewing within her. It was her birthday—an event meant to bring joy, yet it only highlighted the solitude that had seeped into every corner of her life. The giant wooden table was laden with intricately prepared desserts, each crafted to delight absent guests. Beneath the elaborate decorations lay broken letters and an old knife, their presence mocking her with hollow apologies: “We had an unplanned business event.”, “Our chef’s wife recently passed away.”, “My dog had a birthday party to attend.”—Wait, what? A bitter chuckle escaped her lips before she could stop it.
This wasn’t just neglect. No, they loathed her. She wasn’t a guest in their lives but a burden, the unwelcome shadow they blamed for their misery. Resentful tears welled up in her eyes, but she forced them back. A Kiramman doesn’t cry. But then again, what did that matter? Her parents, the only ones she thought might stay, were on a business trip, leaving her utterly alone.
Her gaze shifted to the carefully detailed cake, a masterpiece meant to commemorate a day no one cared about. Fury bubbled up inside her, and the knife she had used to tear open the damning letters now found itself poised against her wrist. Just once… Maybe twice. If it doesn’t hurt, it’s not worth it.
The pristine white of the tablecloth was stained with crimson as her trembling hands repeated the act. Her mind, now drowning in despair, ignored reason entirely.
Until a firm hand grabbed the knife, pulling it away. Startled, she looked up and met a pair of worried eyes she knew all too well.
-“Why?”- he asked softly, pulling her into a tight embrace. She didn’t resist, letting the weight of her emotions pour out as sobs wracked her body.
-“I… I’m sorry,”- she whispered between gasps. -“I promised you I wouldn’t do it again… I…”-
-“It’s not your fault,”- he interrupted, holding her tighter. -“I got distracted with an experiment. I should’ve been here.”— His voice was steady, but his grip betrayed his fear.
He pulled back slightly, brushing the tears from her face. -“Let’s get you cleaned up. Then we’ll go out and grab something to eat. Deal?”-
-“I don’t want to go out, Jayce.”- Her eyes were still worringly empty. -“I just want to be someone, I— I don’t want to burden anyone else.”-
The man put her hair carefully behind her ear with one of his hands, while taking something in his pocket with the other. It was a picture. —They both shared giggles, pointing the fake moustache that adorned the girls face.—
-“You are the one who fuels my life, Caitlyn. Everytime I’m dull of doubts, it is your presence the only thing that keeps me alive.”- His hand now was gentely rubbing her cheek. -“Don’t ever say you’re a burden, when your existence is the most precious gift i’ve ever recieved”-
They got to her room, where he cleaned the crimson lines that adorned her wrists, and, after making sure they were sealed, he got to a speaker and started blasting Seraphine’s most recent album. At first, Caitlyn felt a little embarased, but seeing him dancing happily to the beat melted her heart, and, bursting to his body, she gave him a big hug, which was followed.
-“I love you, sprout.”-
-“I love you, Jay.”-
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A melancholic smile grew as her tears fell releanteslly. The muscles of the other woman were holding her tightly, and, for the first time in months, she let herself to feel the warmth she lacked for almost a year. Finally. Finally a place to call home.
A slight breeze passed by her cheek, just like it was gently rubbing it. Caitlyn knew instantly: It was him. He was proud of her, taking care of her, even from above, he would always look after her little sister