Chapter Text
chronicle, (v). to record (a related series of events) in a (mostly) factual and (somewhat) detailed way
Lux began to write in her journal for the first time in years. A therapist she’d been forced to go to after her… incident with Garen and that girl outside the school…
That very kind and significantly-too-underpaid-to-deal-with-the-Crownguards therapist had recommended it to her. She'd been kind enough to hand Lux one off her shelf, and that very same journal lay open before a trembling hand.
The faded, yellow, stenciled sunflowers on the front hid face down as Lux took a deep breath, and allowed herself to properly let her soul out onto the pages.
Yesterday kissed me on the forehead.
Jinx frowned at her phone occasionally as she sketched on a new sheet in her graph-lined notebook, trying not to let her ideas of what Lux thought of her texts bleed into her work. She’d talked a big game with the whole premise of offering up a spicy question, but Jericho had emotionally blindsided her… a bit. By the time she auto-piloted her way inside, she assumed Lux had fallen asleep and racked her brain for anything remotely spicy to consider, only to have her entire spirit consumed with nothing but the most romantic, mushy and gushy shit she used to give Ekko shit for.
Oh.
Jinx tried not to trip on her realization and plopped the box in the corner of her room before unceremoniously setting herself down on the bed with a similar-strength oomph as the pillows and sheets fell around her. Jinx felt at her pocket and pulled out her phone, realizing idly that she lacked a solid contact photo for the current cause of the simmering pilot light at the bottom of the burn of her soul. Two messages blinked back at her in the thread.
LS: I can handle whatever you come up with, I’m sure.
A few minutes later by timestamp came the other.
LS: Falling asleep maybe soon, will reply as soon as I see yours… today was nice <3
Jinx's heart skipped and sputtered out its erratic beats; she felt beneath her chest and across her cheeks heat up, felt seen by the (tall) incarnation of light and warmth, felt vindicated that her Luxie Sunshine contact was warranted, felt her fingers start to move–
JC: is it absolutely insane tha-
Jinx deleted the message, tried again.
JC: it's not too crazy to thi-
Again. Jinx took a hitched, nervous breath before exhaling, trying to organize her thoughts.
JC: would it be okay if i said i wanted to see you again real soon?
Jinx sent it before she could hesitate, then cursed as her eyes flicked up to the time in the corner of her phone. Cursed again as she flicked her eyes back to the message, annoyed with the ambiguity, annoyed that it was already three in the morning… got to typing anyway.
JC: Monday, do you wann-.
Tried again.
JC: Thoughts on something simple Monday afternoon or evening? Tacos or something? You mentioned a place neither of us have been… have you tried that new make-your-own burrito spot with the tropical theme near campus?
Jinx pressed send, exhaled a breath she didn't realize she had pulled in, nodded at her own message. Decisive; she wanted to be decisive and go after this girl that was rapidly and dangerously beginning to infiltrate her every thought. Unfortunately, she didn't quite fall asleep just thinking of bubbly blonde smiles and warm fudge-adjacent kisses…
Jinx's last thought before sleep pulled her away was that she hadn't found a moment to confront her preciously silly old man of a father about where he'd been on Friday.
I wouldn’t mind if that kiss… decided to stay.
Jinx beamed a wide smile as the garage's interior came into view to reveal nothing but an absolute monster of an engine sat surrounded by the tools and shelves she'd left in case Jericho found something, and boy, did he not disappoint.
"A 650, and she's all yours." Jinx's eyes widened as she turned to the voice from the corner of the shop where Jericho's bulky frame sat, crumpled into another chair dangerously close to organ failure.
"A what, now? How… did that end up in the junkyard, of all places?" Jericho's first answer was a gleaming row of teeth shining from the shade where the sunlight of the morning hadn't quite reached yet. Jinx rose an eyebrow as he spoke.
"Let's just say the previous owner of this particular engine will be unable to exercise his love for the open road anytime soon, and his engine just happened to be at a friend's shop when he… lost said freedoms." Jinx nodded, walking closer to the suspended engine, hands hovering, not sure where to start.
"How much?" Jericho's laugh boomed into the space and Jinx whipped around, aghast.
"I have to pay you, Jer. Don't do this…" Jinx felt her shoulders fall as Jericho rose to his feet slowly and ambled over, gently clasping one of his huge hands on her shoulder. His voice held that precious edge Jinx hadn't quite heard out of him before this weekend.
"As long as you take good care of whatever beauty this bike becomes and send me pictures I can tack up in the waiting room… pictures where you're really smiling, Jinx. Or videos, I'm not picky." Jericho paused, levity leaving his tone altogether.
"That's all I could ever ask of you; that's all I'll ever want." Jericho's voice strained and grew even quieter still.
"He only ever wanted you all to be happy." Jinx found herself sniffling into a tight hug, squeezing back before pulling back quickly, wiping at her eyes with any edges of her undershirt she could pull from beneath her worn overalls. She tucked away the feelings like she would a wrench in one of her denim-flap pockets and cleared her throat, clapping her hands together. Jericho looked down at her with something between pride and sadness and Jinx had to turn around and clear her throat again.
"Well hell, Jer; let's get started!"
The risk is worth it. She's worth it. I'm worth it. If I don't believe this, what do I believe?
Jinx found herself tucked into a corner booth, cackling with laughter, trying her best to keep one of her precariously-filled tacos in her hands from spilling its contents all over the table. She fought a losing battle to keep the smile on her face a manageable size, only to crack and cackle more upon looking at Zeri's rapidly brightening face. Ekko hid his mirth much better as he returned to the table, leaning over to Zeri with a few cups of water that were greedily slurped down.
Jinx mentally patted herself on the back for deciding to invite these two out for something as simple and peaceful as a simple, evening-time taco plate… even if they weren't quite as good as what Jericho threw together on a daily basis.
"I'm sorry, Zeri; I didn't know we'd gotten the sauces mixed up!" Ekko received nothing but a harsh glare, Zeri having grabbed a chunk of one of her own unsauced taco's tortilla to scrape at her tongue with vigour. Jinx just kept laughing as she pointed at Ekko, who narrowed his eyes at her.
"H-he totally did it on purpose, Sparks! He winked at me, and everything!" Ekko's look of betrayal rapidly morphed to disgust as Zeri threw the spice-tainted tortilla at him. All of their eyes went wide and tracked it as it flew and stuck itself to his forehead with a wet thwap , to which a new symphony of laughs, cackles, and gagging noises rose anew.
The dinner passed with that speed that only leisure, comfort, and security combined bring; Jinx inquired when Ekko might be free to teach her to ride and only gets away with one dirty joke, (Zeri's the one who threatens him with another soggy tortilla facemask) while Zeri asked if Jinx could make sure her headboard is "just a solid slab of blank plywood so she can decorate (read: burn-art) it" herself. Ekko's floored by the very existence of bedframes (a headboard confused him too badly, Jinx didn't bother mentioning the purpose of a footboard, afraid it might get him talking about skateboarding instead) but relented when Zeri showed him some articles about what bugs can crawl on you if you leave your mattress on the floor for too long.
They're still laughing (with Ekko occasionally oscillating between fake-gagging and actually sounding like he'll throw up) as they shuffled out into the dusk of the evening, the streetlights wavering and pulsing along above Zeri's skipping form, having already taken off towards home.
Before Jinx can wave her goodbyes and turn her own way, Ekko gave her a squeeze on the shoulder, pulling her attention. She raised an eyebrow as Ekko coughed into his hand before giving a proper, full-mouthed smile, filled with joy and love and sadness and whimsy and curiosity and everything she admired about him, despite it all.
"...I'm really happy for you, Jinx. I've never seen your smile be so… warm." Ekko offered a fist bump that Jinx returned out of reflex before Zeri turned around in the distance, yelling impatiently.
"Catch ya, Trouble. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Ekko threw over his shoulder, jogging after the bright ball of kinetic energy both of them felt so fondly towards.
Jinx just watched them walk away, Ekko's words resonating in the space between her ears as her hanging fist slowly fell to her side. As if on cue, Jinx felt her phone vibrate and opened it to a message that assuaged a tense coil in her chest she hadn't even realized was there.
LS: I'd love to. Want to catch me after my last class? I get out around one on Mondays, over in the humanities building.
Jinx double-tapped the message, filling the outline of the text pink as a heart appeared next to the words as she tapped out a reply, her face sensitive to what exactly that warmth Ekko had mentioned actually felt like.
JC: I'll be there around about that time, too. It's a date, Blondie!
Jinx added a smiley face lightly surrounded by hearts and hit send, only to move one of her hands to her chest, feeling just how fast her heart was racing just from a text , realized that was exactly how she wanted to feel, realized just how glad she was that she felt that way.
Jinx threw in a single earbud and sang into the night through her entire walk home.
I believe in my worth and her being worth it all at once. I believe. I believe.
"Have I ever told you how appreciative I am of these dessert nights, Dad?" Jinx caught a flicker of a shake as her father knelt to pull a tray of simple snickerdoodle cookies out of the oven, gently sliding them onto the island counter. He slowly closed the oven door and turned to catch Jinx in one of those inscrutable, pensive gazes that Jinx loved to stare back at, if only to win rather than understanding what exactly they meant. Silco finally spoke after a few moments, breaking their eye contact to open the freezer.
"Yes, you have." He spoke clearly, projecting despite his multi-tasking with the ice cream. Jinx's eyes gleamed at the vanilla bean image on the side of the container. He brought over two bowls and spoons, sticking the larger spoon into the whole tub of ice cream and sliding it over to Jinx alongside an empty, cheap plastic bowl. Jinx still thought the ice cream tasted better in these bargain bin bowls, and despite him never saying it out loud, Jinx knew he agreed; she had caught him a few too many times over the years agreeing through his actions when he snacked on late-night dairy.
"Despite that, it still warms my heart every time you say it, Jinx. I'm proud of you, and I grow prouder every single day." Jinx's spoon stopped halfway between the tub and her bowl; she looked back up at him after unceremoniously jamming the spoon back in the tub and ran around to throw her arms around her father, catching them both with a careful foot placement before squeezing as tightly as she could.
"I love you, Dad." Jinx sniffled as he squeezed back, more gentle but with no less care.
"I love you too, Jinx. You'll always be my little girl, but you've grown into such a fine young woman, too." Jinx held him at arms length by the shoulders, the edges of her eyes prickling with the faintest beginning of tears. A smirk grew on her face as she remembered the question she'd been holding onto, and the tiniest sliver of confusion made its way into his eye. Jinx squeezed one more time before prancing her way over to the tray of snickerdoodles, grabbing them despite the heat and sing-songing her words over her bowl of cinnamon and vanilla and sugar and cream.
"And you've apparently aged like some rich, fancy people's wine; where were you on Friday night? I thought you'd fallen asleep in your office, old man ." Silco had the grace to scratch behind his ear as he moved to grab a cookie himself, chuckling.
"You'll learn when you're older, dearest daughter of mine." Jinx stuck her tongue out at him, teasing and laughing and eating and smiling and living and living and loving every second of it.
What more could she ask for?
I once told someone she was always asking for a lot out of her week, or month, or year – at this point, I don't even remember. She turned to me with the most serious look in her eyes that I'd never seen before and smiled so sincerely, smiled right at my soul , and told me that if we don't ask for a lot, we won't get a lot. And if you love someone, you want to give them a lot, get them a lot, a whole bunch, the everything. And if you don't love yourself, then what are you doing? And if you love yourself, and you should, even if its hard, then you owe yourself a lot.
Jinx finally laid down in bed; early this night, earlier than she usually managed, desk untouched. She'd managed to peel her clothes off, quickly rinse off in the shower with the handheld detach to keep her hair dry, then collapsed into bed after barely slipping into her favorite pyjamas.
Jinx turned over on her side, letting her eyes drift off and meet the pair she'd stared down for almost every night she'd managed to spend on top of this mattress her father had insisted he pay (extra, too) for. Quite clever of him, to casually and lightly guilt her into making sure she slept more, really.
Jinx let a hand reach towards the magical, blue windows on her wall and sighed as she let it hit the bed in a flop, her eyes slowly closing as exhaustion caught up with her from the significantly busier weekend than she was used to. A warm breeze of a thought floated through her mind as she drifted off.
Just this once, Janna, or whoever you represent, whatever is out there… please help me, help me, don't let me jinx this, too.
So just this once, universe, higher power, godly being, oceans and wind, earth and sand… I'm asking for a lot, okay? ~l
uxanna crownguard
~LUX