Archive of Our Own

“She’s here! Hoshina-san!”

“Guys! It’s been so long!”

A group waved and laughed loudly as they made space for her at their table. The couple at the nearby table looked over at the source of noise, noticing immediately the silver hair of the lady who just entered the restaurant. On any other person, the unusual hair color would look garish, but it looked absolutely beautiful on her.

“And whose fault is that?” A guy with spiked up hair asked in jest even as he stood up and gave her a hug.

She easily brings up one arm to hug him back. “It’s mine, I know. I’m sorry, Usami-kun.”

Everyone took turns to hug her or to raise a hand for a high-five. She gave the longest hug to the shortest girl of the group.

“I brought snacks and gifts,” she said as she put a box in the table and distributed small packages around.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have!”

“Thank you, Subaru!”

“I know these cookies! They’re the best.”

“Saku, you can have all the donuts!”

“There’s enough for everyone, Shohei.”

The couple at the nearby table went back to their own conversation, adjusting the volume of their own voices and accepting the fact that the big group will be loud the whole time.

She settled on the empty chair between Madoka and Kaoruko, right in the middle of the long table. The group consisted of a number of grown-ups from Chidori High School and from Kikyo School of Girls. Now, they’re all professionals and working towards their dreams.

Madoka and Kaoruko still hung out with the boys regularly, but Subaru was pleasantly surprised hear that Ayumi and the other girls from Kikyo were also meeting up with everyone. It seemed that she missed a lot in almost three years she was out of Japan.

“Enough about us. How are you, Hoshina-san?” Yorita, who grew his hair long enough to be put in a low ponytail, switched the conversation to their friend who they haven’t met in person in a long time.

“That’s right, how was it like living abroad?” Tsumugi followed. Beside him, Natsusawa leaned forward in the table to hear her better. Kaoruko moved her whole body to face her fully.

Subaru put up two hands in the air. “It’s not all fun and games, if that’s what you expected!” And then she launched the story of her experiences, shortened as possible so as not to bore anyone.

“Ahhhh~ You have a bachelor’s degree from T-University and a diploma from Hong Kong Uni. And you’re working on the application to the school of law now?” Madoka whistled. “I wonder what it’s like to have a smart brain and to have a passion for studying.”

Ayumi and the other girls giggled but nodded. “It’s admirable how focused you are on your own goals, Subaru.”

Subaru laughed along and reasoned that it was only because the path to becoming a lawyer was longer than others starting their careers. It’s quite tiring, but she’s motivated to keep going. Kaoruko agreed sincerely, as she’s also still in medical school.

Everyone else took turns sharing their experiences as newbies in their workplaces, aside from Tsumugi who had been helping out in his family bakeshop since high school. When asked, he said he’ll have his own bakery too someday in the distant future.

The night was still young but three girls stood up and excused themselves for the night. One had a late night shift at the airport, another had to go home to her newborn, and the third had an early flight tomorrow to Hokkaido.

Although there were only seven of them remaining, it didn’t feel less lonely at all. In fact, Subaru’s heart warmed at the thought that this moment felt almost the same as their hang outs in high school.

Madoka cracked an obviously inside joke and she laughed politely along with the others. Ignoring the small wince in her chest, she decided to have a lot more catch ups with everyone, so she could understand the context of jokes next time.

As the night dragged on and laughs continued to rang within their table, their topics widened to include their love lives (non-existent for her, Kaoruko and Tsumugi’s was obviously going well, recent break up for Madoka, and in words of Usami: “funny situationship” for him while both Yorita and Natsusawa were “single but ready to mingle”), their upcoming summer plans (advanced-level cooking class for Yorita, family trips for the rest), and their recent interests (Madoka and Yorita infected Kaoruko with their love for computer games, Tsumugi went to the gym daily to destress from endless hours of baking, Natsusawa lost a bet with his sister and had to attend pilates classes with her, and Usami developed a taste for jewelries).

Subaru gave her own inputs as well: “I have a small but growing set of perfumes,” which received a lot of oohs and ahhs.

Kaoruko clapped her hands once. “That reminds me of this one romance book I’m reading. The meeting scene of the love interests was at a perfumery shop!”

And the topic changed once again, now towards romance tropes each of them liked.

Usami animatedly waved his hands full of rings, “Forbidden love for the win!”

Madoka tsked. “That doesn’t compare to enemies to lovers. The tension? The arguments? Even better if it’s slow burn!”

“Ha! I agree with that,” Yorita’s head bobbed up and down energetically.

“I’m more of a horror guy, but I think childhood friends to lovers is cute,” came from Tsumugi, to which Kaoruko cooed.

“Friends to lovers,” Subaru supplied. “Because I find it adorable how a relationship is built on friendship before evolving to something more.”

They all turned to Natsusawa, who was last. He took a sip of his drink first. “Second chance.”

They all blinked in unison. It was Usami who asked before any of them could, “Really? That’s surprising! Why though?”

A shrug. “Not saying.”

A wail. “But why?!”

A smirk. “‘Cause it’s fun seeing you work your brain.”

The hours felt like minutes for her, but everyone was yawning and the night has deepened.

Tsumugi took a cab to bring a tipsy Kaoruko back to her dorms, the short girl shouting her love for Subaru out of a lowered car window as the car sped away.

Yorita said his goodbyes and hopped on his bike.

“How are you going home, Hoshina-san?” Subaru wasn’t sure, but it felt like it was the first question Natsusawa directed to her that night.

The edges of her mouth curved up. “I’ll be taking a cab.”

With lips down turned, he said, “You can ride with me and Shohei and Yuzuhara-san. I have a car.”

Usami ruffled Natsusawa’s hair, “Keep bragging about your car while you still have time. Once I finally save enough to buy one, I’mma be the one to brag!”

The girls giggled as Natsusawa swatted his friend’s hand away and fixed his hair.

In the end, she sat on the front passenger seat as the other two would be dropped at the nearest station to catch the last trains. She initially planned to go with them, but got persuaded otherwise. Apparently, her house was on the way to Natsusawa’s apartment.

The silence was slightly awkward, but they both tried to fill it with idle talk.

Subaru was rapidly burning through her list of small talk topics.

In her internal panic, she blurted out, “That building wasn’t here back then.”

The guy beside her spared a glance at the building they just passed. “Oh, that. It’s a facility for the elderly. Opened mid last year, if I remember correctly.”

She hummed in response. What could she say to that? That she missed it, along with several other happenings? Was she even supposed to be disappointed for not being there for a building opening of something that was not even related to her?

“So, what surprised you the most from all the news you heard tonight?”

She’s relieved it was him who moved on to another topic. And a safe one too. She could just choose from anything that was talked about. But… “Well, this wasn’t mentioned earlier, yet I’m pretty sure you know about it. I was quite shocked to hear that Madoka and Yorita-kun tried dating for a while, more than a year ago.”

His deep chuckle made her toes curl subconsciously. “Yeah, that was messy. Ayato was constantly confused. I heard Yuzuhara was frustrated too.”

“At least they patched things well enough to be comfortable with each other now.”

“Just wait for it. Sometimes, they joke about their failed relationship and it’s so awkward for everyone that it turns funny.”

“Haha, that’ll be quite a sight, for sure.” Then she saw a familiar street and pointed at it. “Oh, I can get off here. It’ll just be a 10-minute walk to my house.”

There’s a knot between his eyebrows when she looked back at him. “It’s quite late, and I don’t mind doing an extra 3-minute drive to your house.”

She thanked him before, during, and after she got off the car.

But before she could bid him good night and close the door, he called out, “Hoshina-san, a lot of things happened to everyone, and the place here has changed a lot. But I think you’re still the same on one aspect.”

“What is it?”

“You still worry about everyone and you still put others before you.” It didn’t seem like he’s asking her to confirm, rather making a statement. So she just let him continue uninterrupted, listening to his every word. “You don’t need to worry about lost time. We’ll all be here to help you understand. You just need to focus on the present and the future—the memories you can make.”

She wasn’t sure what face she was making, because Natsusawa broke off their eye contact and looked away in embarrassment. “Sorry, that might be too forward for me to say. But please cheer up. Because… um. You looked pained… even though everything I—we talked about was in positive light.”

She decided to speak up, to lessen the awkwardness. “You mean, aside from Madoka ranting about her recent breakup.” That got her a chuckle from him. She hoped her answering smile was as warm as she felt. “Thank you, Natsusawa-kun. Truly. For the ride and the pep-talk.”

His smile was small and bright in the dim light of his car. “You’re welcome.”

It didn’t change, it was still the same one he used to give her years ago, when they were close. Something she could see behind her closed eyes every night if she thought about it hard enough.

“Thank you for letting me pour my heart out to you.”

A small but bright smile. “You’re welcome. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Her body moved quick to nod and to drink her iced coffee, while her heart slowly understood what it meant. Ah, so it was only her who thought of the possibility. The doing-homework-together sessions were merely hang outs, and them sharing secrets and vulnerabilities was just friendly chitchat.

She wanted to blame Kaoruko for her curious question whether these were considered study dates. Because they weren’t in high school studying for entrance exams anymore. Because they attended separate universities and had vastly different majors. Because they sometimes checked out coffee shops she wanted to try and dog cafes he wanted to visit. Because they’d gone separate ways and yet found themselves spending time together.

She gulped one more mouthful of coffee and steeled her nerves. “Yes, I’m grateful for friends like you.”

She opened her eyes and turned in her bed.

It was just a night ride from her good friend. Her first love. However, there were no lingering feelings. None. At all.

She burrowed herself under her thick blankets and forced herself to sleep.

The next time they spoke to each other, in a non-group setting, was when he reached out to her for help in creating an itinerary for his family trip in Hong Kong.

That made her gasp in delight. There were so many sights to see, so many places to recommend. She gave him options and briefly explained each temple, village, or museum.

Her phone continued to buzz around the whole day. She spent hours explaining to him how things worked, what to prepare, and even what restaurants and cafes she deemed the best of the best.

She only got one picture sent to her in a private message in the duration of his trip. A thumbs up framed with the view of skycrapers in the background.

We’re all tired from walking, except for Mio. That girl has endless energy. Thanks for all the recommendations, we’re having lots of fun, was the accompanying text.

She replied, That’s great! Stay safe and have a good rest when you’re back in the hotel.

Will do.

The short conversation put a spring in her step. It’s nice to see things she loved were also being enjoyed by others.

When Monday came, she received another text. Hello. Do you think you can spare a few minutes today?

Hello to you, too. What is going on? I’m free after 4PM.

Just something. Where are you at? Let’s see if we can meet somewhere in the middle.

That made her curious. Her birthday was nowhere near today so it wasn’t possible they were luring her to a surprise birthday party, similar to what they did for Usami. Honestly, that was quite a feat. It’s very hard to get everyone together because of their busy schedules.

They decided to meet up in a shopping mall the next town over. Curiosity kept her mind noisy, but she managed to concentrate in what the speaker was saying in front.

The schedules and remarks and the overall program was quite heavy on her mind, so she was taken by full surprise that afternoon.

“Oh my! Is this…?”

Natsusawa grinned at her exclamation. “Yup. This was the only donut specialty shop you recommended in Hong Kong, so I’m sure this is your favorite. Hope I got the correct flavors.”

She beamed at him. “Everything there is great! Thank you! I know how much you still love donuts, so I hoped you’d like it too. You did try some, right?”

“I got the plain custard. And it was really delicious.”

“Isn’t that right? I used to buy these to cheer myself up after a busy day, which was very frequent. These are perfect for today and tomorrow. Orientation for law school is quite heavy mentally.”

While they agreed only to spend a few minutes for her to receive his gift, it didn’t look like either was opposed to walking around and catching up.

Four foreigners approached them. The men stepped up and asked for directions to the exit, which she politely provided. Natsusawa even taught them how to understand the signage within the mall.

As she dipped her head to them in goodbye, she realized that it was almost evening.

“We should go, too,” Natsusawa said, looking down at his watch. “We don’t want to be caught up during rush hour.”

“I’m just going to take the bus. Did you park your car somewhere?” She inquired.

“Ah, no. The car’s being used by my dad to visit a farm today.” Then he answered her silent question, “It’s a family car, which I only started driving around when my dad retired. He still uses it, but only sometimes.”

They moved to the exit. “I see. Then are you going to take the train or bus? Or maybe a cab?”

He shook his head. “I still have to pick up some groceries. When the work week starts, I won’t have time to restock my fridge in the apartment.”

“Do you live alone?” She was about to ask if he had roommates, but a young man almost hit her while rushing. She was able to gracefully step away and smile graciously when he paused to offer his apologies.

Natsusawa waited for her a few paces forward before resuming their walk. “Yup. It’s only a small studio, somewhere closer to my workplace than my family home.” His eyes looked at the direction where the young man disappeared to. “You’re much more comfortable now. Dealing with men, I mean.”

She inhaled the air outside, once they stepped off the mall doors. The last of sun’s rays were lighting up the sky. “Right. Going to co-ed universities and living abroad widened my perspective and gave me lots of experiences. It wasn’t easy at first, but I found friends of the opposite sex.”

As they walked to the bus stop, Natsusawa smoothly moved to her other side, putting himself between the busy highway and her. “That’s good to hear. Would you say your… fear of men is gone now?”

She waved a hand. “Oh, definitely not. But I’m getting there. I can open up to my guy acquaintances, but it takes so much longer than to ladies. I keep a diary so I’m sure of it.” Something she would keep to herself was that the sense of comfort with other men was never on the same level she felt with him. She was even on joking terms with Natsusawa way before she could tease the other guys from their little gang.

Then, memories of her bullies when she was so much younger flashed in her mind. “You know, it’s funny how a small moment when I was a child shaped me into who I am now. When I think back on it, the boys didn’t even cut a significant length of my hair, barely an inch, really. But I remember how devastated I was because my mom let me use her special hair products for the first time ever that day.”

She can feel his stare at her, yet she didn’t rise to meet his gaze. His voice was clear on her ears. “I remember you sharing that memory with me. You moved on way too quickly to another topic so I didn’t get a word in. But, you’re way too humble. You should be proud of the progress you’ve started. You’ve come a long way from the girl I first met.”

That made her feel a lot lighter than five minutes ago. “I really made quite a bad impression back then, yes? Don’t worry, I try not to scare off anyone during first meetings now.”

Upon arriving at the bus stop, she tried to shoo him away because of his errands, but he said he’d take a breather from all their walking while waiting for her bus.

When she climbed on the bus, he finally went on his merry way. Her eyes followed him as his figure grew smaller over the distance.

There were so little chances to spend time with him, so only then did it really occur to her how he changed over the years. He seemed much more mature and grounded…

“You pieces of— seriously?! I’m getting back at you all for this!”

Yes, very mature.

Yorita, Tsumugi, and Usami popped open bottles of champagne right when Natsusawa opened the door to his new apartment. Unfortunately, the drink splashed right on his head.

With sheepish apologies on the lips of the troublemakers, their group followed the scowling Natsusawa inside. There were already a few people there for the house warming party. One of them was familiar.

“Hidaka-kun?”

“Hoshina-san!”

The two of them crossed paths sometimes during their college days in T-University, so they formed a friendship. He was actually one of her first guy friends outside their Chidori-Kikyo group. He was a serious guy who loved to joke around and it seemed that didn’t change much, so she fell back into the ease of talking with him.

Unfortunately, he caught her voice fading when Natsusawa walked out from his bedroom. He changed into a different shirt and cleaned up his face and hair. He pulled up half his hair into a ponytail. He walked around with a relaxed posture and an easygoing smile.

They exchanged messages frequently following the donut gift, but they hadn’t had the chance to meet up over the past few months. Not that they ever planned for it or asked for a face-to-face chitchat. Perhaps that’s why her heart wasn’t prepared to see him, even if the invite for tonight was sent to their group chat a week ago.

A hand waved in front of her eyes. “You okay there?”

She whipped her head to her conversation partner. “Sorry, I was, um, just thinking.”

There was the beginnings of a smirk, but it was gone in a millisecond. “Okay. So what’s your opinion again on the recent news?”

He didn’t mention anything or even point out her burning cheeks, which she was eternally grateful for.

When two more people arrived, people had to claim their places on the couch or by the dining table to make sure they had seats. She was perfectly fine to squeeze herself with Madoka to give more space for others.

The unfamiliar people were all very nice, so she had fun talking with whoever was free, flitting in and out of different conversations until she drained half of her social battery and had to recharge a bit by blending in the background.

She got a total of fifteen minutes of quiet before Natsusawa appeared beside where she’s sitting at and peered down at her. “Hoshina-san, you’re not hungry? You can fill your plate up some more. There’s so much food.”

“I tried a little of everything already. I’ll take second servings in a bit,” she smiled up at him.

“Well, don’t push yourself. If you want, I have some coffee in the kitchen. It’s an imported product, gifted by a coworker. It tastes good, but I’m going to have to defer to the opinion of a coffee addict,” a corner of his mouth was slightly up in a grin.

Standing up, she teased him, “You can just say you don’t have tastebuds as refined as mine.”

The kitchen was hidden behind a wall with thick wooden slats.

Natsusawa called out to Hidaka at the side, “I’ll be back, just going to show Hoshina-san my coffee maker.”

A nod was his friend’s answer. Yet there was a twinkle in his eyes that looked like trouble.

Behind the wooden wall, Natsusawa pulled out the coffee beans and mugs from a cabinet.

She looked around the kitchen space. It was small, but everything one needed looked to be there. “Were you in the middle of conversation with him?”

“Yeah, but don’t feel bad. I need to make all my guests comfortable.”

“I was fine, just resting for a bit,” she flashed him a smile. “But thank you. You’re a good host.”

Then she spotted some pictures taped on the refrigerator. Half were of beautiful landscapes and the other half were family pictures over the years. One was taken recently in the living room of his family house.

She inspected that photo. “Mio-chan grew up to be a very beautiful lady. Is she in college now?”

He nodded to her question but said in pretend disgust, “Ugh, don’t let her hear that.”

She met his friendly sister a few times back in high school and college and remembered how energetic she was. It was obvious how the siblings cared for each other.

The small space was filled with sounds of beans being ground to powder and with voices that flowed from the living room.

She leaned against a counter. “Congratulations on signing a lease for this very nice apartment. What made you decide to move?”

The grinder paused a bit before resuming. “I wanted some change.”

They could end the conversation right there, but he seemed to be chewing on something else, so she waited a bit more.

“It’s just,” he started again. “Everyone is doing amazingly well with their lives. And they all have goals they work towards to. I don’t have that right now.”

She made sure to keep her voice cool. “Oh?”

“Yeah. It sounds so lame but that’s what it is. Back in high school, the goal was to find the career we want, and then in college, the goal was to finish our studies. But now that I’m done with school and I got the job I want, I don’t know what to do next.”

He put the ground coffee to the coffee maker and turned it on. He watched it come to life before continuing. “I don’t need to save the world or anything action-packed. I just… feel stagnant, I guess? It’s the same work tasks, hobbies, and routine everyday. You and our friends inspired me to do something new with my life, so I started with where I’m living at.”

He shook his head. “Sorry, I ended up saying a lot. It’s the first time I put all those thoughts into words.”

It was a privilege to hear that and she let him know of it, stammering through different words and trying to find the right ones to say. However, she was never one to give the most comforting words, so all she could offer was honesty. “I think your worries speak a lot into who you are as a person, that you’re someone who wants to do good for yourself and for others. It’s very inspiring. Not everyone needs to lead special lives. You’re doing this slow and steady, and that’s okay. There’s also novelty in normality and simplicity. And I believe you’ll find something you want and I have full confidence in you that you’ll get it.”

She tried to convey what she felt with her eyes.

Whatever he was going to say was cut off by the beeping signal of the coffee maker. They were silent as the coffee was poured into mugs. He handed her one and put the others in a tray.

“Let’s go,” he said. The gaze that met hers were soft, open, and thankful.

He took a deep breath then walked back to his friends, with her a step behind. Determination was set on his broad shoulders and strength was on his steps. Pride and warmth spread across her chest.

She noticed the trash can was quickly filling up and she offered to take them down to the apartment trash bins outside, to which Natsusawa protested, saying that he couldn’t let her do it. But Hidaka volunteered to help her with it. So, off they went.

“He’s a good guy, that Natsusawa,” Hidaka told her, his eyes staring meaningfully at the garbage bags they dropped.

“That is true,” she didn’t know where he’s going with this, but she agreed.

“So are you.”

“Oh. Thank you?”

They took the stairs on their way back. Crickets chirped clearly in the silent night, with muffled voices from within rooms they passed.

Hidaka spoke again when they reached the third floor. “You know how we don’t like unripe fruits? That we find them too bland or too bitter, so we either just tolerate it without enjoying or we just throw the whole thing to the trash?”

Her head tilted to the side. “Yes?”

He put his hand on the door knob but didn’t turn it yet. “It wasn’t my place to say anything before, but now? I think the tree is beginning to bear fruits again. Make sure you watch out when they start to ripen.”

He winked at her conspiratorially and went inside, leaving her to follow with stilted movements.

Kaoruko caught her eye immediately. The shimmer in her eyes turned to worry as she saw her being tense. What happened, she asked soundlessly.

Later, she mouthed back and tried to school her features into a pleasant one. She wanted to enjoy the sight before her. Yorita was running away from Natsusawa’s retaliation, after the latter sneakily slipped in ice cubes on the inside of shirts of Usami and Tsumugi, who yelped from the couch they were sitting on together with Kaoruko.

Past midnight was when Kaoruko heard her phone ring and upon saying ‘hello,’ she heard her childhood friend’s small voice. “I am absolutely and utterly screwed.”

And then came the dogs.

Subaru was troubled, wishing for his affirmative response on her messages.

Ding!

Yes, my apartment allows pets.

… Is this a housewarming gift?

She laughed out loud. Yes, she typed. Sorry it took one whole season to pass before giving it to you.

Seriously?

Biting her lip, she typed another response. Yes, but only if you want to. My cousins are moving overseas and they cannot bring their dogs. We already have three cats and I’m not confident in taking care of two dogs. I’m good with either the puppy or adult dog. It can be up to you to choose which one you like… if you will take one in.

There was no reply after an hour, but that’s understandable. It’s still within working hours.

Right before 5PM, she received an ‘okay.’ Breathing a huge sigh of relief, she patted the two dogs laying by her feet. Then an idea formed in her mind.

Gathering her courage, she sent him a follow up text after the ‘thank you’ with lots of smiley stickers and GIFs. And whenever you’re free, we can set playdates for them. Exercise and socialization is important, right?

She kicked her feet in the air after she read his quick reply. That’s a great idea. A few times a month should work. We can also leave them to each other’s houses if we’ll be gone for days.

True to their word, they met regularly to walk their dogs to the park. They’d sit under a tree and talk about random objects while the dogs chased each other around.

Over time, she could not even deny to herself the affection she had for him. Feeling bad that she was using her dog to bring her closer to him, she spoiled it with lots of treats and belly rubs to the point her cats were jealous.

Natsusawa’s puppy grew up to be quite mischievous, and for some reason, always got off its leash and zoomed away.

In one instance, they caught up with his dog after running after it for half an hour. They were both winded, but their dogs had a good amount of exercise. Hers was happily walking by her side and his was in his arms, tail wagging even when being scolded.

She scratched her dog’s ears. Thank goodness this one was calm.

Natsusawa’s voice was gentle but firm, trying to make it understand his worries. It made her heart swell to see him show affection to the tiny dog he held close to his chest.

They stopped by a park to catch their breath. But when she handed him his dog’s leash, his fingers brushed against her palm. Once again, her breath was taken away.

He didn’t move, staring at her with wide eyes.

Their hands touching each other, eyes locked onto one another, the silence stretched and bloated until she popped it by blurting out what’s nagging her at every waking moment.

“I love you, Natsusawa-kun.”

She blinked. This was it. The implications of her words settled within her and her heart began hammering so hard it was painful. “I’m not saying this in the heat of a moment, I’ve actually known my feelings for a while now, and this just keeps growing.” She gave him a watery smile, inwardly thinking that there was no way he could not hear her heartbeats with how loud it sounded in her ears. “If… if you feel the same, will you go out with me?”

The man in front of her was frozen. Then he turned red. His whole face, his ears, his neck, even his knuckles when she glanced at their touching hands.

He stuttered and looked at everywhere but her. “I never thought— never expected—” He covered the upper part of his face with his palm. “Please don’t look at me. I’m still processing what you said. They say my thinking, confused face is weird. I’m debating on what to do. Or say. I mean, answer. Damn, I never even dared to dream…”

He was rambling. How adorable. Wait. What he said meant something positive, yes? Her heart slowly started changing its beat from anxious sprints to joyful cartwheels.

He lowered his hand a bit, his eyes peeking at her. “I can’t believe it… but are you sure? About me?”

She nodded excitedly.

He put his hand down in his jacket pocket and his face turned serious. “But what if… like Ayato and Yuzuhara-san, this won’t work out? What if this turns complicated and messy? What if we won’t be friends after?”

She looked down at her shiny shoes and pondered about it. His questions made sense. Could they risk their friendship for this possibility?

“I like you, Hoshina-san.”

That made her eyes snap up to his. He startled. “I-I mean it. I like—no, I’m actually in love with you,” he swallowed and continued, his voice thick with sincerity. “If friendship is all that I could have with you, I would never exchange it for anything else. I am happy where I am now. Don’t get me wrong! I’m really, really, really happy that you want to pursue a romantic relationship with me. You’re a wonderful person, and I wish you all the best, no matter who, where, or what it may be.”

She had her answer. She didn’t think there was any other answer.

A smile danced on her lips. “Whatever the end is, all I know is that right now, I want my future memories to be full of you. And for me, it doesn’t matter if we have moments of the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. As long as it’s with you, I believe we can create something beautiful out of this.”

“So…” she let her words trail, seeing a glimmer of what she thought was ‘hope’ in his eyes. “We could start dating, and see where this leads us.” To the end of a long aisle and in front of a minister, hopefully. To having fun together with wrinkled hands and white strands of hair, preferably.

“Mind giving this a chance? Because I wouldn’t mind giving it another.”

His eyes were somehow glaring, rolling, and squinting all at once. “Another… chance?”

She tilted her head back slightly as a light laugh made its way out of her chest. His puzzled face was endearing. “Yes, I’ve been secretly fantasizing our hang outs back in college to be dates.”

That fact rewarded her with a small but bright smile. It was so sweet. “I had the biggest crush on you back then. Everyone but you knew.” He took her hand. They were both shaking. “Thank you for the chance. I’ll make it work.”

For once, her mind, body, and heart let her do one thing all three agreed on. She stood on her tip toes and kissed his cheek. “I’m with you every step of the way.”