Chapter Text
Hello, I'm conducting a scientific experiment exploring human response patterns. Can I ask you some questions? Reply 'yes' if you're interested, or simply ignore this message.
Are you trying to scam me?
Hello, I'm conducting a scientific experiment exploring human response patterns. Can I ask you some questions? Reply 'yes' if you're interested, or simply ignore this message.
Yes
Perfect! Make sure your answers are clear and direct so I can collect better data.
Hold on, Einstein.
First, I need to ask you a couple of questions.
That's against the project rules.
But I suppose it makes sense since you'd want to verify I'm not a scammer.
Hey! You ignored my first message! I thought you had an automatic response setup like a bot or something.
Don't leave me on read.
I'm waiting for your questions.
Alright, alright.
First, how old are you?
You write like an old man who just discovered Wi-Fi.
I don't understand why you need that information.
It's relevant because I need to ensure this isn't a mind-kidnapping situation.
Just answer.
17
Damn it, I knew it
A teenager...
Where did you get my number?
You know I can sue you for harassment, right?
Your mood swings are a bit hard to follow.
I got your number through an algorithm that randomly generated numbers. You were the lucky one mathematically. Hurray!
Can I continue with my questions? I need to finish this assignment by Saturday.
Dude, it's Friday.
Exactly. Now do you understand how desperate I am?
Once I'm done with the questions, you can block me if you want.
But you're the fifth number I've texted, and the only one who has responded to more than three messages.
Does that mean I'm special or just the most reckless of your victims?
Probably both.
But seriously, I beg you. You'd be saving my life and my philosophy grade too.
Fine. Your terrible social skills convinced me.
Go ahead with your questions.
I appreciate it.
Let's start.
First question: If a post-apocalyptic society had to start over from scratch, do you think the concept of morality would be an inevitable construction or a circumstantial choice based on evolutionary needs?
...
You just made one of my last brain cells explode.
What the hell is that?! I thought they'd be questions like what's your favorite color or something!
That would be irrelevant to applied philosophy.
Does that subject even exist?
Unfortunately, yes.
Can you give me your answer? I need it to be clear; it's important for my data.
Wait.
I need to reorganize my brain first.
Gen spun around in his chair, trying to get his intellect to work well enough to give a reasonably sound answer. The movement was supposed to help his ideas flow, but it didn't seem to be working. He kept spinning until he stopped at the sound of his co-star entering—a tall, broad-shouldered man who had to duck to get through the dressing room door, earning a mocking smile from Gen.
"Hey, dear Tsukasa," Gen sang as he slid along with his chair toward his friend.
The man grunted.
"If you were in a post-apocalyptic society starting from scratch, do you think the concept of morality would be an inevitable construction or a circumstantial choice based on evolutionary needs?"
Tsukasa's movements stopped, and he looked at Gen with a serious expression of disbelief. "What kind of question is that?"
"I'm trying to help a guy with his applied philosophy homework," Gen raised his phone to show Tsukasa the conversation, still very confused.
"You don't even have his number saved. Who is he?"
"No idea, he said he messaged me randomly."
Gen read the question again.
"And if I tell him to use chat GPT?"
Tsukasa scoffed. "First, I don't think he'd accept that, because if not, he wouldn't have messaged you for help. Second, please block that number immediately."
Gen pouted, pretending to be hurt. "Why? It's my act of kindness for the year."
Tsukasa sighed. "It's a stranger who somehow got your number, who knows, it could be some crazy fan trying to get information from you to expose you on social media."
"I'm impressed by how quickly you’re learning about the fame world, dear Tsukasa," Gen looked at his now-turned-off phone with pity.
"So, take my advice," Tsukasa seemed to have finished getting ready and bent down again to leave the room. Gen watched him go before stopping halfway. "By the way, Gen?"
"Yes, dear Tsukasa?"
"In a reborn world, morality shouldn't arise from a choice. It should arise from the purity of human nature, free from materialistic and selfish influences. Morality reflects the true essence of man, who must protect the innocent and live in harmony with nature."
"Wow..." Gen whistled. "I'll tell him that. Can you repeat it?"
"What!? No! Block him now!"
So, dear Einstein
I thought you had blocked me.
You won’t get rid of me that easily.
I think it’s as simple as making you think a little.
(Audio)
Is that your voice?
Yeah, of course.
Actually, he had gotten Tsukasa to repeat his speech once more and took the opportunity to record it.
Why? Is something wrong?
It’s weird.
I imagined you to be less…manly.
Does my voice turn you on, dear Einstein?
What the hell…
You're weirder than I thought.
But your answer was interesting.
Are you sure you didn’t get it from an AI?
What kind of person do you think I am?
It took me ages to think of that answer for you.
I’m hurt.
Yeah, well.
You’ll need to hurry up with your answers.
That was just the first one.
...How many?
50.
🙂
Screw you.
"Dear Tsukasa! Are you free?!"
"No," the man didn't even bother to look at him.
"But it’s a philosophical emergency! It's only... forty-nine more answers!"
"Not a chance."
Gen dramatically slumped over his desk as his phone vibrated with another message from Senku.
Did you block me?
"I'm going to need therapy after this," Gen whined before starting to type furiously on his phone.
Please tell me we're done
😭😭😭
Actually, that was the last one
I’m like… in debt to you right now
You just made me the happiest person on planet Earth
What kind of weird professor do you have that makes you write to random people?
Actually... I was supposed to do the interview in person
I got permission to do it online
Still, my social skills are horrible
Are you telling me I was the poor soul you had to run into on the street?
I just saved someone’s life
Indeed
What part of Japan are you from? Tokyo?
…
You're making that block button look very tempting
No! Wait!
It's just a little question you made me wonder
…Yes
I’m only telling you because Tokyo is such a big metropolis!
Well, it is
Tokyo has a population of 37 million people spread across about 13,500 km², which gives an average density of 2,741 people per km².
If we both walked randomly around Tokyo, covering about 40 km² a day...
I’m starting to lose track
Silence. I’m trying to calculate
The daily probability of us meeting in the same square kilometer is about 0.005%. In summary, we would need 548 days of random wandering to meet.
Damn, that’s impressive and terrifying at the same time
Obviously, these aren’t precisely accurate data. There are many variables: pedestrian density, movement patterns, our distance...
It’s the best I could do with what I had available
"Impressive," Gen murmured while turning in his bed. What he had to do was simple: press the three dots next to the unknown number and then press the block option.
He wasn’t used to sharing his personal number, so he had never blocked anyone, which meant he had no idea if it was an immediate option or if he had to authorize the choice, but he wasn’t in the mood to figure that out.
He could just keep chatting with the stranger, and as long as he didn’t share any important information, everything would be fine.
But, oh, he just told the guy where he lives.
Yeah, maybe fulfilling that part would be harder...
He hesitated for a moment before responding, but in the end, he sent the message after checking the time: 01:08 AM. Good. It was late, and the guy probably wouldn’t respond until the morning.
So even a guy as smart as you has his limits. How cute.
Don’t respond, don’t respond.
His phone lit up.
Damn.
What are you doing awake so late?
What the hell is he doing awake so late?!
Well, now technically he felt obligated to respond.
You can't criticize me
You're awake too
That's because I just woke up
I'm 10,000% sure you haven't slept at all
So besides being a scientist, are you a fortune teller?
…
Alright, alright
I might have a couple of issues sleeping…
Nothing serious
Do you have any idea how serious the consequences of insomnia can be?
It's not like you have a really good sleep schedule either
Actually, I do
I might not be awake at normal hours, but I try to keep it as stable as possible
You said you just woke up
And the last time we talked was around 9:30 so…
Let’s focus on you
What’s stopping you from sleeping?
Gen looked at the message and hesitated whether to ignore it or play along with the smart stranger. Tsukasa would probably scold him the whole week just for responding to the first message, and by now even his manager must be aware.
His gaze shifted back to the three stupid dots and he pressed them quickly, the options bar appeared, and there it was: ‘block’. So simple, so ridiculously easy, it wouldn’t even take a couple of seconds.
But he couldn’t.
It was the first time in a long while that he felt like he could talk to someone without the extra pressure of fame on him. He didn’t have to control his words, there was no reason to avoid questions, and besides being sincere, he could be rude. As rude as he wanted, and no one would be canceling him on social media the next day.
Another notification came to his phone, and Gen opened it as quickly as it lit up.
Did you fall asleep already?
No
Believe it or not, it’s not that boring talking to you, dear Einstein
My name is Senku
Well, maybe I could look him up on social media later, Senku isn’t a very common name.
Got it, dear Senku
Will you help me sleep?
I gave you my name so you’d stop using ‘dear’
You’re younger than me, I can call you ‘dear’ as much as I want
Aren’t you going to tell me your name?
Damn, that. If he wanted to keep talking to Senku, this kind of question, and even more personal ones, would come up.
Think, Gen, think, someone whose name you know well enough to pass yourself off as them and whose name would be impossible to find online. Also, you had sent several voice messages with Tsukasa’s voice, so it had to be someone with a similar voice...
Of course!
Since you’re so interested
My name is Kinro
The name of one of his bodyguards was perfect. That guy is so dull he’s probably never touched a cellphone in his life, and finding any trace of him online is impossible.
Doesn't your name mean gold?
Now I understand where the narcissism comes from
HA!
I feel very attacked tonight, dear Senku
You mean early morning
Let’s start from the beginning, what have you been doing before going to bed?
Rehearsing for my show tomorrow. But he couldn’t say that.
I was watching a series.
It’s not a lie, technically he had one of his favorite dramas playing in the background.
Do you usually use screens before bed every night?
Dear Senku, even I know how harmful screens are to our brains.
Then I suppose you know why.
Nope
Screens emit blue light, which suppresses the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone. They’re not recommended to use at least one hour before sleeping.
I’ll keep that in mind, dear Senku, but right now I just can’t sleep 😫
I have a sort of routine that usually helps me…
Oh please, great scientist, share your secrets with me!
Stop with the drama
What temperature is your air conditioner set to?
Eh? About 25°
Turn it down. Not so much that you get hypothermia, but enough to keep you cool. We’re in summer, it won’t hurt to have it at around 20°
Done, boss!
Good, how much does music help you relax?
Not much
I always end up humming
Then let’s try breathing exercises. There’s a technique called 4-7-8. Inhale through your nose counting to 4. Hold the breath counting to 7. Exhale slowly counting to 8.
Sounds boring
Exactly, the monotony relaxes your brain
I’ll try, but if it doesn’t work, I’ll keep bothering you all night
The first step is to put your phone aside
😔
Dear Senku…
I thought you’d sleep more
Believe me, I wished I could, unfortunately my work doesn’t allow it
I was about to ask why
But I remembered your chronic fear of sharing personal information
How considerate, dear Senku
Although I’m starting to suspect you’re some kind of creature of the night
Because you’ve responded to my messages immediately, no matter the hour
Does that bother you?
Not at all, dear Senku
But I hope you’re aware that I’m starting a serious investigation on this.
Ha! I expect a copy of your research once you finish
Wait… Can’t I just do it in my head?
Is that where you’ll give up? I was hoping you’d even make a graph with the average time of my responses or maybe a well-argued thesis on my way of replying.
You’re asking too much, dear Senku
I’m asking for the basics of a true scientific investigation.
Gen was about to reply before his phone was snatched from his hands. He tried to reach for it, but the person who took it took a few quick steps back, avoiding Gen. In his desperate attempt to recover it, Gen fell to the floor, causing it to hit the ground with a loud thud.
“Damn!”
“Are you this rude at this time in the morning?” Ukyo laughed, watching the screen of his phone carefully, making a mocking grimace as he read the messages unfolding on the screen. “So Tsukasa was telling the truth. Do you know how dangerous this is, Gen?”
“Give me that” Gen growled, getting up with difficulty. “It’s private!”
Gen took advantage of the guy’s distraction to snatch the phone back, but he didn’t even have a chance, as his opponent was a damn submarine strategist. Ukyo raised the phone above both of their heads, reading the messages aloud.
“Whoa, dear Senku seems to be quite smart, calculating his chances of running into him in less than a couple of minutes. Isn’t that romantic, Tsukasa?”
“Tsukasa isn’t even…shit”
The dressing room door opened, revealing the fighter, who at least seemed pretty embarrassed to be caught spying on the conversation. The man entered with his usual difficulty and made his way to one of the chairs without looking at them, sitting in one of Gen’s chairs, which seemed to creak under his weight, and sighed.
“I told Gen to block him”
“You were spying!”
“No, I wasn’t, I accidentally overheard part of his conversation because I happened to be heading this way”
Ukyo mocked him. “You never visit Gen in the mornings”
“Exactly!”
“Why are you supporting him?!” Tsukasa was now blushing.
Gen stuck his tongue out like a child, receiving a pleasant gesture with the middle finger.
Ukyo stepped between them. “Though I like you better, at least Tsukasa is right.” Ukyo handed him his phone. “You should block him, Kinro”
“Are you using your bodyguard’s name?!!”