Chapter Text
Marinette knew she had to control her emotions, she was used to do it, being Ladybug it was essential to do so, the consequences of that changing would be catastrophic, not only for Paris, but for the rest of the world, she could not afford to let her emotions out, she knew it and yet there were more days when she almost had an anxiety attack than those when she did not.
Things were not so difficult before, but after 5 years under the tyranny of an emotional terrorist anyone could see in the faces of Parisians, and the girl was no exception, the fear of not being enough of a heroine and disappointing everyone, added to all the problems and complications of her life as a civilian, she was on the verge of collapse almost 24/7, although as much as she wanted to let it all out just once, the best he could do was to let off some steam after each akuma, though always with Tikki watching, even though nothing had happened yet one could never be cautious enough, after all it wouldn't be the first time someone was akumatized just 5 minutes after finishing with the previous battle in a desperate attempt to overpower the heroes that opposed him.
That is why the young woman incorporated meditation into her life, every morning, just as she was doing now, she would take 20 minutes to sit in lotus position and empty her mind as much as possible, this helped her to get through the day with relative calm, although with the recent events this didn't seem to be enough.
Once that morning's session was over she went down the stairs that would take her to the kitchen, where she ate a light breakfast, she had long since started eating her meals alone, as her parents' bakery was becoming more and more famous, which left them less and less time to share with her, it wasn't that she hated that they were doing well, on the contrary, but it hurt her how easy it became for them to push her aside.
When she finished her meal and cleaned the used dishes she took out her cell phone to check a few things, even if it was true that she abandoned the habit of waking up late to go to class, courtesy of insomnia, she still waited until the last minute to leave her house, hoping to avoid the minimum social contact with her classmates, so she took advantage of moments like that to advance accumulated work, either commissions, school work or her duties as a guardian. With barely 10 minutes left before the bell rang, she grabbed her things and left her house, crossing the front door of the bakery without her parents even noticing her, too busy at the breakfast rush hour to step aside for a moment, Marinette didn't give it a thought, already used to it.
As she crossed the street she could see the last few stragglers hurrying the pace to enter the school, however, she walked calmly, with the certainty that she would arrive at the door just at the moment when the bell would start ringing, because it was like that every day, once inside the classroom she quickly went to the seats at the back, avoiding looking at the first 2 rows where the girl she once called best friend and the girl who ruined her life stood.
Three months ago Lila returned to school and, as was customary, everyone made accommodations for her, arranging the seats to allow her to sit in the front row, this time under the excuse that she had a retinal shift while traveling by plane, which supposedly gave her advanced myopia, although she never wore glasses, Marinette was not consulted when this change was made, she was not even given a warning, so she was surprised when she entered the classroom that day, of course she protested, feeling that she was being passed over, however, her complaints were only received with bad looks and accusations of jealousy.
At the time she consoled herself by saying that it wouldn't last long, the brunette never attended for more than a month at a time, her “charity trips” prevented it, but after the passage of 3 months and with no sign of one of those fake trips happening soon, that consolation was non-existent, even more with all the accusations and fights that happened, all the conflicts that were breaking the relationship she had with all her classmates, Alya was always the first one to accuse her, without showing a bit of trust in her supposed best friend, not far away from her were Nino and Kim, who didn't believe her despite knowing her since they were in kindergarten and wearing diapers, that pair had known her the best and should have been aware that she would never do the things she was being accused of.
Looking at her bench mate she started to take out the things she would need for that day's classes, Chloe started sitting next to her about 2 weeks ago, after a particularly nasty argument with Sabrina in which the latter finally decided to break their friendship, a right decision, but taken for the wrong reasons, after that both girls had created a sort of implicit truce, usually each one kept to her own corner, but being the favorite targets of a certain mythomaniac they supported each other as much as they could, mentioning how they had seen the other in places completely opposite to where the other girl accused them of been, it wasn't exactly a friendship, but it was comforting to have someone on her side, more so someone she has known for so long, no matter what their relationship was like before.
The classes passed with relative calm, Madame Bustier explained things in a tedious way as usual, it was during the first year of Hawkmoth's emergence that the mayor created the educational reform to avoid the stress and misadaptation of the students in Paris, which avoided the separation of classes, including the teachers of these, in order to avoid negative emotions in the children, in theory it was an impeccable change that would decrease the akumatization of the teenagers, in practice it didn't function as much, young people who were victims of bullying were forced to stay with their bullies unless they moved to a school outside the city, far from Hawkmoth's domain, something not everyone was able to do, there was also the matter that it implied that Collège teachers would have to take the positions of some Lycée teachers, something they were not qualified to do, even with all the objections that Ladybug had made against this measure, the mayor refused to give his arm to twist.
Many teachers made the decision to specialize and continue their studies to be able to help their students in the challenges that would follow because of this, but that was not the case for Caline Bustier, of course not, why bother to do it if she would not be fired anyway, the law of minimum effort right? Thanks to this the class had to take matters into their own hands, learning the class syllabus by themselves, of course not everyone made it, the only ones who were up to the expected level were Max, Chloé and Marinette, followed closely by Adrien, the latter more by pressure from his father than by his own initiative, Alix, Nino and Nathaniel were not far behind either, but the rest simply left much to be expected, so yes, the classes were tedious and worked more to confuse than to answer the doubts.
Time passed slowly, Chloé at her side filing her nails while she killed time moving forward with her commissions and designing some things out of boredom, she could feel the glances thrown in her direction from time to time, but it was best to ignore them, it never brought anything good to give a reaction to that. Unfortunately, Madame Bustier called everyone's attention, making her look to the front, letting her cross glances for a short moment with Lila, the hatred in her eyes and the malicious smile on her lips that caused him to shiver didn't foresee anything good, she was up to something.
The last few hours of the morning passed with a feeling of both anticipation and uneasiness, wondering what kind of scheme she would have to deal with this time, when the bell that announced the start of lunch rang she hurried to grab her stuff to leave before anything could happen, yet she was too slow, it was while passing by Alya's side that the brunette grabbed her wrist, stopping her escape attempt effectively.
“Wait a minute there, girl” Alya spoke to her in a dark tone.
“What do you want, Alya?” Marinette's reply, on the other hand, came out as a tired whimper.
“That you apologize to Lila” At this the blue hair finally looked up, seeing how behind the brunette's back stood the one named, with her hands on her face as she let out a fake cry, behind her also were Nino and Adrien, the former averted her gaze as soon as his eyes met Marinette's, whereas the latter was looking straight at her, doubtlessly hoping that the young woman would simply apologize and let the situation slide, just as he had advised her all these years ago.
“What is she now accusing me of?”
“‘Then you're going to play dumb’ Alya finally let go of her wrist, then promptly brought up both hands to her head in frustration. “Really, girl, I understand that you think fashion is your thing, but you can't just threaten someone else simply because they're more successful than you are.”
“Honestly, I have no clue what you're talking about” Marinette replied, her voice and face as plain as possible so as not to give away her feelings.
Alya, noticing the other girl trying to leave again, stopped her, this time standing in front of her.
“You're not leaving here until you apologize.”
“I have nothing to apologize for.”
“Yesterday you threatened Lila, only because Audrey Bourgeois recognized her talent in fashion” A small sneer on Chloé's part was audible, but no one paid any attention to it.
“I did no such thing.”
“Please, Marinette” This time it was Adrien who addressed her “Just apologize and let's put this behind us.”
At this Alya smiled, completely certain that the other girl would give in if it was the blond who requested it, confident in the feelings the Franco-Chinese held for the boy regardless of how many times before she had told her that she no longer had such feelings, precisely because of situations like these, she would regret until the end of her life the moment she decided to listen to him only for a stupid teenage love.
"I won't apologize for something I didn't do."
As soon as the words left her mouth all hell broke loose, Alya lunged at her, pushing her as she tried to snatch the handbag she had been carrying that day, Marinette tried to fight back, but lost her footing when Lila "accidentally" made her trip and drop the bag, letting the other pick it up and turn its contents over on the classroom floor. Chloé tried to interfere only to be stopped by Ivan, who blocked her way.
When the blue eyed girl recovered from the fall she could see how her former best friend, the one she grew to think of as her sister in everything but blood took her sketchbook, and just before she could do anything to prevent it, she ripped it up, tearing every single page and ruining weeks, maybe months of work in a few seconds.
"Someone like you don't deserve to be a designer" the brunette growled before leaving, dragging a still sobbing Lila in her arms, Nino seemed to hesitate for a second before following them, while the rest of the class looked from Marinette to the torn notebook on the floor not knowing quite what to do, Chloé was collecting her things and putting them back in her bag, it was when she felt Adrien's hand rest on her shoulder that she was finally able to react, grabbing the bag from Chloé's hands and running out of the classroom and out of the school, away from the prying eyes and judging eyes.
She entered her house through the back door, avoiding her parents and rushing upstairs to her room, locking the trap door that led to it, a measure she had taken a couple of years ago to prevent the Kwamis who moved freely around the room from being caught, even if it wasn't to her parents' liking, she knew they would eventually climb up to her room, upset after the school called them again for her behavior, and she had no energy to deal with them at the moment.
She walked to a corner, where she leaned her back and let herself drop until she was seated on the floor, tears pouring like waterfalls from her eyes and her breathing labored, she brought her hands to her head, pulling her hair slightly in an unintentional reflex to focus on something else, but all that came to her mind was her shattered designs, her hands then slid to the bare skin of her forearms, scratching strongly, wanting to feel something more than the hateful glares aimed at her, in the distance she could hear the voices of the Kwamis, but they were distant, almost as if they were underwater, or maybe she was the one who was underwater, that would explain why she suddenly felt so cold and the air was so thin.
Her head was beginning to spin, now unable to concentrate on a single logical thought, she opened her eyes, not sure at what point she had closed them though, her eyes fixed on the trap door, she could see it shaking lightly from the furious banging of her father trying to get in, her reason told her that the banging was accompanied by shouts ordering her to open it, but the buzzing that had settled in her ears made it impossible to hear it, at some point they gave up, sick of the lack of response, but still angry. It was in that small moment of calm that he could hear a squeak, he barely recognized mullo's voice in it, announcing one of his worst nightmares.
"Akuma!"
Turning his head to where the little god was pointing she saw it, the little butterfly going through the glass of her window, she watched it in panic, crawling on the floor in trying to get away, more by instinct than by voluntary act, normally she would be able to get rid of it, calm down and control her emotions, deterring the advance of the corrupted insect, but right now, in the broken and vulnerable state she was in she had no doubt what would happen, accepting her fate, yet wanting to delay it as much as possible she moved closer to the wall, the akuma was a little less than a foot away when a red blur entered her field of vision, getting closer to the bug and purifying it, took Marinette a few more seconds to adjust her sight, noticing that the blur had a shape she was very familiar with.
It was Tikki.
Tikki had purified the akuma.
Tikki who was now looking at her with eyes full of concern.
A wave of relief ran through Marinette's body, followed by sheer exhaustion, her vision began to dim, too many emotions in such a little span of time had totally consumed her energies and her body needed a rest, one last thought crossed her mind before she fell into unconsciousness.
I can't stay in Paris any longer