Chapter Text
The walls shook.
Sel’s hand burned. He’d been banging on the walls for hours. His blows were responsible for the cracks showing along the corners, snaking up to the ceiling and shattering the plaster. But the walls themselves stayed intact.
Again. His fists collided with the stone. Again.
He needed to break it. To breakthrough and get out of this hellhole.
They think they can trap me? Me?
Another blow. This time, a piece of the ceiling fell through.
A screech of rage came out. His blood felt as if it were boiling in his veins.
This damned Order thinks it can chain me? I will break out. I will get out and slaughter them all.
He threw his whole weight against his target. Channeled all his anger, all his rage, all his indignation at the only thing standing between him and revenge.
I will show them.
I will beat them.
I will not be entrapped.
They will pay.
They—
…
The ceasing of the attack was so gradual, it took Nick several moments to register it.
He held his breath for several counts. Perhaps Sel was merely charging for another blow. But a minute ticked by, then two, then four, and he allowed himself to believe that it was indeed over.
This time, at least.
William looked into the room through the pane of two way glass embedded in the wall. Nick tired not to think about why the Lodge had that so conveniently installed in this otherwise secure room. ‘’Has he stopped?’’
‘’I think so,’’ William replied. Nick made for the door. ‘’Wait.’’
Nick paused, hand on the doorknob. ‘’He’s just standing there,’’ William explained. ‘’He might not be ready.’’
‘’I know that.’’ Nick wanted to keep the anger out of his tone. Since Sel’s infection with demon blood, they’d repeated this scene several times. Each different from the last. The constants that were the same were firstly, Sel’s bouts of demon-driven rage were getting longer. Secondly, there was no predicting what he would be like once the attack passed. His reactions from times before ranged from dazed to triggered anger anew.
‘’Nick,’’ William said, his tone holding a warning. ‘’Be careful.’’
Nick merely gave a nod of acknowledgement. He was afraid of what he might say otherwise.
Be careful. Of Sel? Sel, who he’d known almost all his life. Sel, who was his friend, protecter, everything.
Who’d been sworn into service as a child.
Who’d never had any choice.
Who never wanted this to happen.
Nick opened the door.
He stepped inside, being sure to close the door behind him. If Sel was still… whatever this state could be called, he couldn’t risk him getting out and hurting himself. Or hurting anyone else.
Sel was still in his position. Upright, but now with his forehead pressed to the wall, eyes downcast. He didn’t even look up at the subtle click of the door opening and closing.
‘’Sel?’’
Nick waited a beat for a reply. Then two. Then he risked a step closer. ‘’Sel? Sel, it’s me. Nick.’’
He was a few feet away. Sel turned his head, glazed over eyes taking a moment to find Nick’s form. Even longer to register who he was. ‘’…Nicholas…’’
‘’Yeah, it’s me.’’ Nick inched closer. ‘’Are you… Are you okay?’’
A stupid question, but one he couldn’t help asking.
Sel’s breathing sounded heavy as he thought of a reply. ‘’I… I don’t… remember…?’’ He finally raised his head from the wall, using his hands to push himself upright. He looked at them in confusion.
Nick bit his tongue to refrain from hissing. Sel’s hands— that he’d been using as his sole weapon against the stone walls of this room— were a mangled mess.
If Sel registered the pain, he didn’t show it. He just blinked at them like he had at Nick; slowly, wonderingly, not quite registering what he was seeing.
‘’It’s okay. We’ll get you cleaned up,’’ Nick promised.
Sel turned, his back now against the wall, posture slumped at he continued to stare at his hands. ‘’Hurts,’’ he admitted. Factually, not emotionally.
Like with William, Nick refrained from replying. Once again, he wasn’t sure he’d like what would come out of his mouth. Only this time, instead of words, he was pretty sure it would be tears.
‘’I think…’’ Sel’s gaze pried away from his hands, finally meeting Nick’s. ‘’I think—‘’
Nick waited. ‘’Yeah?’’
‘’I think somethings… somethings… wrong…’’
Nick saw him falling. He bridged the last of the distance between them, catching him before he hit the ground. ‘’Christ,’’ he cursed, the awkward save not quite complete, only able to guide him down as they both landed on the ground. ‘’Sel? Selwyn, stay with me.’’
He adjusted his grip on him, not wanting to further crush his damaged hands. ‘’Will! Will, get in here!’’
William was already opening the door. Nick held Sel still as the healer looked him over and did what little was in their power to do. He tried to ignore how light the Kingsmage's frame was in his arms, and the heat that radiated off of him. He tried not to think of that unfocused, un-Sel like gaze, looking so lost in the aftermath of his episode of rage.
He was unsuccessful.